List of Oneshots part 4
by yugiohfan163
Summary: Requests are not guaranteed to be done. If they get done, they get done. Don't go expecting any ideas done at the drop of a hat or expect any promises. No ones making any money off these, which means we're not obligated to rush on certain ideas.
1. Chapter 1

List of oneshots part 4

chapter 1

What if animals of the miraculouses started swarming the users?

Series: Ladybug and Cat Noir

xxxxxxxxxxxx

-Paris, France-

It was a slow sunrise as the day was almost ready to begin anew...although something was amiss for some reason.

That was due to the fact that the moon was still in the same place it was since last night, about fifty degrees to the west, something that should NEVER happen yet there it was...stationary and patiently waiting for something important.

Of course it also interested the people of Paris with some taking pictures and figuring this was a once in a lifetime event to record.

But as the sun rose higher into the sky, something odd was happening to certain objects in the city.

Although this wasn't as important as the fact that the sun suddenly stopped at the same fifty degree position as the moon, but towards the east this time.

(Elsewhere)

-Hawk Moth's hidden base-

Nooroo looked at the sky and looked a little nervous as Gabriel was planning his next akuma incident. 'Oh boy.'

"Nooroo, why have you been quiet?" asked the man without turning his head.

The kwami turned to him. "Because the sun and moon are….kinda stationary."

"What?"

"About at a fifty degree position." Nooroo gulped. "But I haven't seen this since one hundred years ago."

"And why is that?" Gabriel turned to him. "Is there some important significance to it you failed to tell me?"

"No no! It's not like that, it's just when the sun and moon are like that...um." He gulped. "Master, I think we should cancel any plans today, just to be safe."

"And why would I do that?"

"...the miraculous go into a weird...transition state." Nooroo gulped nervously.

"Nooroo, I order you to tell me EVERYTHING you know about this state."

"Ok ok!" He gulped before a monarch butterfly flew from out of nowhere and landed on Gabriel's head, causing the kwami to pale. "It's starting! Run away!"

"Not until you start talking, now." He frowned before several caterpillars and butterflies started to fly or crawl all over his body.

"The animals are swarming! Run! Run you fool before they smother you to death!" Nooroo cried out before flying away in the opposite direction.

"Nooroo!" He yelled before getting covered in butterflies.

(Elsewhere)

Adrien yawned while getting out of bed, only for him to see a calico kitten on his lap.

"Mew." It said while currently sleeping and looking very adorable.

"Well hey there fella, how did you get in here?" he smiled before rubbing it's head.

Purrrr.

'So cute.' He thought before noticing several other kittens right on his legs, also sleeping and purring up a storm. He blinked while surprised. "I guess your friends came along too?"

Plagg yawned while appearing from the closet. "Ugh, I can't sleep with all...wait...were you trying to replace me?"

"No, they just popped up."

"What do you mean?"

"I woke up and they were already here."

Plagg blinked before seeing the celestial objects outside and paled. "Kid...today we aren't going to be Cat Noir. Also move away from the kittens."

"What? Why?" He asked while several full grown cats jumped into the room from the window and started filling the room up.

"That's why." he gulped going back in the closet while Adrien had a bad feeling about this.

(Elsewhere)

Nathalie sighed as she took a shower, hoping today would be the day to help Gabriel's plan come to fruition.

The only problem? She didn't notice a male peacock walking into the shower and having a bird bath with some peahens.

"Hopefully Gabriel has better luck today. It feels like all his plans are ruined by some unknown event or new hero." She said to herself before feeling something soft on her hip. "Eh?"

"Ahaa! Ahaa!" The peacock called out while cleaning his tail feathers.

"AHH!" she screamed, jumping back and out of the shower with wide eyes as she looked at the birds in shock.

They looked at her before more peacocks and peahens walked into the bathroom and began taking birdbaths.

"W-What the hell?!"

"Ahaaa! Ahaa!" One albino peacock called out while flapping its wings.

"Where did all these birds come from?!" She said in shock before seeing one of the birds moving closer to her and showed off its tail feathers.

"Ahaaa! Ahaaa!"

Nathalie got up and grabbed a towel before rushing out the bathroom before closing the door. "I need to let Mr. Agreste know, right after I call an animal catcher."

The birds looked at the door before tackling it down and running after the woman. "Ahaaa! Ahaaa!"

"Ahhh!" screamed Nathalie before she took off running away.

(Elsewhere)

Nino sighed as he was currently brushing his teeth.

Only to see a small box turtle slowly walking into the bathroom.

'Eh?' he turned to look at it in surprise. 'Where'd that come from?'

The turtle moved slowly towards Nino as a couple of snapping turtles and a rather large tortoise walked in as well.

"Um...want some toothpaste?" He asked with uncertainty.

CHOMP!

And cue one biting his pajama pants.

"Woah! Hey watch it dude!" he cried out jumping back on one foot.

CHOMP!

And cue another one on his leg as some looked...ready to pull out their 'junk', putting it mildly.

"Wait...no no no no no!" he cried out before he ran out of the bathroom. "Mom! Dad! We got turtles!"

(Elsewhere)

Luka and Kagami smiled while walking to school, having a nice chat about their hobbies.

"Say Kagami." Luka said. "Ever thought about playing an instrument?"

"No." She said as some dragonflies landed on her shoulders. "I haven't...and what are you staring at?"

"You got some bugs on your shoulders." He said while not noticing the garter snake slithering up his pants. "He he he...ha ha! W-What's in my pants?!"

Kagami blinked as Luka started jumping around while kicking his pant leg around and tried waving the dragonflies away. "Are you alright?"

"Ha ha! I-I don't know!" He laughed as several more snakes crawled into his pants while dragonflies started to cover the fencer from head to toe.

"Ayi! Get them off me!"

Luka cried out while trying to undo his pants to get the snake out, only for Chloe to walk by and saw him pulling his pants right off, showing both the snakes and his pink boxers. "Get these snakes off me!"

"Ewww! Cover yourself you big pervert!" she turned away while covering her eyes as Luka looked at the snakes and saw them slither back towards him.

"Stay back, stay back!"

They hissed while slithering up his body as Kagami ran around like crazy with the dragonflies landing on her hair.

"Ayi!"

Chloe blushed while feeling embarrassed. 'Is this city going to the nudists or something?!'

Bzzzzzzz.

She blinked as a honey bee flew towards her and hovered near her right ear. She waved it away and kept walking. "Great, now I'm getting bothered by stupid bugs."

Bzzzzzzz.

Chloe blinked again before turning her head and saw a massive swarm of bees coming right at her. "AHHHHHHHHH!"

BZZZZZZZZZ!

"HELP!" she screamed before running away.

(Elsewhere)

Kim sat in class along with Max as they looked kinda bored, well one of them that is. "Ugh, when is this class going to end?"

"We just started."

"Well it feels like I've been here for hours." He groaned while a baboon walked in from the front door and ran towards him, before beginning to pick bugs from his head. "What the?!"

Max looked dumbfounded at this while scared at the fact the baboon was snarling at him.

"Where'd this monkey come from? And what's it doing to my hair?!"

"It's picking for insects." Max gulped as the baboon looked ready to attack him.

"Well get it off me!" Kim snapped before a white stallion raced into the room and up the steps towards Max.

"Neigh!" It neighed while bucking his hooves into the air and stepped on Max's table.

"HOLY CRAP!"

"I concur!" Max jumped back with wide eyes. "How did a horse get in the school?!"

And cue more baboons jumping from the windows and onto Kim.

"Gah!" he tried shaking them off while the stallion nudged Max and licked at his cheek. "Get them off!"

"I have my own problems here!" Max snapped before hearing neighing outside and ran to the window.

Only to see a large herd of horses outside, looking right at him.

"Holy mother of god!" He cried out as the stallion began licking his hair.

(Elsewhere)

Alix smiled as she skated across the rails and was having lots of fun. "This is epic!" she jumped off them and did a front flip before sticking the landing and stopped. "Oh yeah, nailed it."

That was when a bunny hopped onto her feet and stayed there.

She looked down and blinked. "Aw, what's going on little fella?"

It twitched it's ears while looking adorable.

She reached down and picked it up with a smile. "Escape from a petting zoo I take it?"

It looked at Alix before giving her a bunny kiss on the lips as two more bunnies hopped towards the girl.

"Ha ha, knock it off." She smiled at the affection. "Just try not to get too comfy, I don't wanna accidentally run over you if I'm pulling off a sick move."

The bunny looked at her innocently before several more bunnies hopped onto her legs and began giving her bunny kisses.

"H-Hey! That tickles!" She giggled while not seeing some 'cool' kids watching the bunnies giving her some love and attention. "Ha ha."

"Wow, that girl sure is popular with rabbits."

"Yep." One girl chuckled. "And so girly."

"And cute, right?"

"Big time."

Alix giggled as the bunnies kept on coming to give her lots of attention.

(Elsewhere)

Alya yawned while having lunch with Marinette. "That test was so hard, even with a night's worth of studying."

Marinette sweatdropped. "Well at least you aced it."

Alya gave a thumbs up. "Like a champ."

"Honestly I was too tired last night to get much studying done, I'll be lucky if I get a C."

"Kon." said a red fox while laying on Alya's lap. "Kon kon."

Both girls looked down with Alya jumping.

"Woah! Where….Where did this fella come from?"

"I-I don't know." Marinette said in surprise as the fox laid on Alya's fluffy hair and curled up like a ball.

"I think this fox is...attached to me." Alya sweatdropped before noticing more foxes walking towards them. "And...he brought friends apparently."

"Kon kon." They said before covering her up like a fur coat as Marinette saw a ladybug landing on her nose.

"Too hot! Too hot!" Alya got out while getting her mouth full of fur. "Pah! Yuck!"

"Need some help?" Marinette asked before more ladybugs landed on her face, blinding her with black and red. "Ah!""What do you me-"

"Marinette." Tikki whispered. "You need to run, right now before it's too late."

"What do you-"

"No time to explain." She said before a swarm of ladybugs flew into the cafeteria as more foxes jumped onto the now hot and furry Alya's body.

"Ahh! Pah! Get pah! Off me!" Alya cried out as the cafeteria was in a panic due to the animals. "I'm all for something soft, but this is ridiculous!"

Marinette groaned before running out of the room, the swarm following her. "I'll get help Alya! Just stay calm!"

"How-PAH!" She gagged while a tail went into her mouth.

(Later on)

Marinette panted while hiding in the basement of the school. "Tikki, what's going on? Is there an akuma attacking?"

"No." Tikki sighed. "It's worse."

"What?"

"Well...once every one hundred years the miraculouses' powers reach their maximum power and that...kinda leads to two things." Tikki said. "One, the sun and moon becoming stationary for a day while fifty degrees in the opposite direction. And two...the animals associated with a miraculous will...start flocking to the user."

"That explains all the foxes and ladybugs, but then what about the others? Like Cat Noir?"

"Then cats will be flocking towards him, same with all the current users. Like turtles, bunnies, butterflies, peacocks, horses, dragons or dragon related creatures, bees, monkeys, snakes and peacocks. It only works on the primary miraculouses, not ones used for a limited time. But that's not the problem."

"Then what is it?"

"For an entire day, the animals will hunt down their users even to the ends of the earth. They might be loyal and friendly now but…afterwards, it might not be the case. Anyway, during this time you can't become Ladybug or the effects will become permanent."

"WHAT?!" her eyes went wide. "But what if Hawk Moth tries something?!"

"I don't think that will be the case." Tikki sweatdropped. "Especially if the butterflies try and suffocate him or worse, have a poisonous touch."

"Oh no. This means if someone sees me with so many ladybugs, they might start to get suspicious...oh no! What if Hawk Moth knows what this means? If he sees someone swarming with cats, he'll find out it's Cat Noir!"

"And anyone else with animal problems." Tikki added nervously. "But the worse thing is that during this time, all manner of animals will pop up. Even the deadlier ones like lions, wasps, cobras and the like, and they won't leave until either the day is over or the user...dies from too much love."

"Oh no! I have to go help Alya! She's already getting swarmed by a bunch of cute and fluffy foxes!"

"What about the others that had the miraculouses? Like Nino, Kim, Max, Chloe, Kagami, Luka, and Alix?"

"...crap!"

"If you go back out there, try to get something to keep the ladybugs away."

Marinette looked around quickly before seeing a bee suit and got an idea.

(One changing later)

"I'm ready." She said while putting the protective head piece on her head. "And wow this thing's hot!"

"You better hurry, or your friends will get smothered to death." Tikki warned before entering into the earrings.

"Believe me, I know." Marinette said before rushing out of the basement, only to see Chloe screaming as honey bees chased her down the hallway.

BZZZZZZ!

"AHHHHHHHH!"

"Chloe!"

"GO AWAY!" She yelled at the bees while Marinette ran towards the blonde and picked her up by the waist before running into a closet. "Ah!"

"Are you ok?" She asked while amazed the bees didn't sting her, much.

Chloe looked at Marinette and blushed. "Um...thanks. B-But don't tell anyone I said that, I have a reputation to uphold."

"No problem, I figured." She said while leaving Chloe in the basement.

(Outside the school)

Marinette ran out and noticed Alix, now covered in bunnies, along with Max, who was running away from a herd of stallions.

"I don't have any apples for you!"

"Neigh!"

"He he." Alix giggled. "S-So hot!"

Marinette was dumbstruck at the sight while seeing Nino trying to pull some turtles off his arms as Adrien...

"ROAR!"

"AHHHH!"

Running away from a tiger while holding a large box of kittens and cats in his hands.

"Come on guys! I don't have much meat on my bones!"

'Oh god! This is getting crazy!' She thought while seeing all the former or current miraculous users getting jumped or swarmed by various animals. She then saw the swarm of ladybugs flying towards her. 'Oh no.'

"Help! Monkeys!" cried Kim while orangutans chased him.

"Oh oh oh oh!" They howled while some gorilla ran towards him.

"I don't have bananas!"

"Get them off me!" Kagami screamed as dragonflies covered her face as a Komodo dragon ran towards her.

"Hisss!" a cobra hissed while several pythons and anacondas started to strangle Luka's neck with affection.

"Gah! Can't...breath…."

"Luka!" Marinette ran over. "Hold on, let me help."

"H...Help…" he said while his face turned purple.

She reached out and tried pulling a python off, but a cobra snapped at her with an angry hiss.

"Hisss!"

She jumped back in fear. 'Ok, THAT'S not going to work!'

Luka coughed and fell down while Alya screamed while being chased by a family of foxes.

"I need a break from cuddling! Cuddle each other!"

"Kon kon kon!"

"Ahhhh!"

Marinette looked around at the chaos while ladybugs landed on her suit. "Oh man, this is insane! What am I gonna do?!"

That was when she saw Lila looking around as fox growled at her.

"Kon kon kon kon!"

"Get back!"

And cue the fox doing...very unsavory things on her ass, something Marinette quickly turned away from with a blush.

"Ahh! Ewww! Get off me you mutt!"

"Kon kon kon kon!"

Marinette ran away before noticing Mr. Agreste driving towards the school as butterflies and peacocks ran or flew towards the car. "What now?!"

Gabriel pulled down the side widow and called out to his son. "Adrien! Come to the car, now!"

"ROAR!" A lion roared while chasing down the blonde.

"Coming!"

Nathalie groaned while getting covered in peacock feathers. "Gah! Gabriel!"

Adrien jumped into the car before Gabriel hit the gas and drove off with the lions, butterflies and peacocks in pursuits.

'At least he's ok...but why the butterflies and peacocks?' Marinette thought. 'Wait, if what Tikki said was true…then-'

And cue ladybugs getting into her suit and into her mouth.

"AHH!" She cried out in horror.

(Some hours later)

Marinette slammed the front door as her parents saw her still wearing the bee suit and panting heavily.

"Marinette? What's wrong? And why are you wearing that?"

"Animals...gone...crazy…" she patted as ladybugs started to enter the bakery through the open windows. "SHIT!"

"Language young lady. Besides, what do you mean?"

"Snakes...foxes...lions!" She gasped before a swarm of poisonous aphids eaters flew right at her. "AHHHH!"

"Hold on!" her dad grabbed a broom before rushing over and swung at them.

But the insects just flew under his arms and began to infest the suit and crawled all over her body, even in the unmentionable parts, making the girl scream in horror.

"AHHH! Get them off me!"

"I'll get the bug spray!"

'When will this day end?!' Marinette thought in horror as her mother ran to get the bug spray. She shivered and ran around in a panic before her mom started spraying around the swarm.

Which killed off most of them as the others just flew all around the room and began getting stuck in the dough.

"Ah...ah...oh god…"

"Are you alright Marinette?"

"Yes...but mom...lock me up in the...pantry for...the rest of the night…" she gasped while just giving up on the whole 'saving the day' thing, especially if she tries to transform, the effects will be permanent.

And no one likes being chased by animals right?

"Lock you up? Marinette if you're worried about more bugs, we can call an exterminator if they keep up."

"But mom…" she said before a massive swarm entered the building. "THATS WHY!"

"We need more bug spray!"

The bugs flew around the room before seeing Marinette and flew towards her with the speed of a machine gun.

"AHHHH!" Marinette screamed while racing to the pantry door. She slammed them shut and heard the swarm crash right against them. 'Crap! That was close.'

The only problem was that it was dark, cold and she didn't notice the ladybugs crawling into the room through the cracks.

(A LONG day later)

Knock knock.

It was early morning as Marinette's mother heard a knocking at the pantry door.

Knock knock.

"Marinette? Are you up?"

Knock knock.

She opened the door and saw Marinette falling to the ground as some ladybugs flew away from the sleepless and very miserable girl.

"Ugh…"

"Marinette!"

"Mom…" she got out in misery. "I...need a nap...zzzzz."

"Didn't you get any sleep?"

"Zzzzz." She snored while completely out cold. "Zzzz."

"I'll take that as a no." The older woman sweatdropped while we see the sun and moon are back in their normal positions in the sky.

Although in certain parts of the city, the animals are kinda…attacking the miraculous users. Looks like they deserved it, well some that is.

"Come on kitties! Not the face!" Adrien screamed while the cats started to scratch him, although the kittens were sleeping on his back, happy.

"Ahaa! Ahaa!" The peacocks cried out as they pecked the door while butterflies were flying out of Gabriel's hair.

"Gabriel get these birds away from the door!" yelled Nathalie while her hair was disheveled and her body was covered in scratch and peck marks.

"I can't right now!"

"Why?!"

"I'm busy trying to keep this butterfly away from my mouth." He said while a very poisonous butterfly was heading towards his face.

(With Kagami)

She grumbled while her mother took the wings off of her hair. "Baka dragonflies…"

(With Nino)

A snapping turtle growled at him while at the kitchen table as it was in his cereal.

"Look, I don't get what's your problem, but I'm hungry, so what are we gonna do about this?" he frowned.

It growled at him again as Nino moved a finger near him.

SNAP!

Causing it to bite down hard on it.

"AHHHH!"

(With Kim and Max)

Both huddled together while in a cage at the zoo, half naked and scared for their lives, while the apes and horses glared at them with anger.

"Ooh ooh!" yelled a gorilla beating on its chest.

"Neigh!" a zebra neighed as Max gulped.

"Kim?"

"Yes?"

"If I get out of here, I think I'll stay away from any horses."

"Yeah, I think I just lost my love of funny monkey movies. Any idea how long they'll stay there?"

"No idea."

(With Chloe)

Pollen sighed while looking at a now red and puffy Chloe. "Want me to get the tweezers my queen?"

"Yes-OW!" She yelled as a hornet stung her on the ear.

"I'll be right back."

(With Alya)

She grumbled while sitting on a bench as she was covered in bite marks, only to see Lila walking towards the bench with a torn set of pants.

Lila sat down, looked at the girl, and said in a tired voice. "Fox problems?"

"Yes, you?"

"Yes…" She grumbled. "Alya?"

"Yes?"

"I think that fox...took my virginity…" she said with a blush.

"...wow…..and here I thought just being used as a chew toy was rough."

"Yeah, same." She muttered before both fist bumped each other.

(With Luka)

He shivered in fear while several cobras were glaring at him as he was currently on a rooftop. "I hate snakes!"

"Hisss!"

"Hey! You guys are the ones who wouldn't stop holding onto me!"

They hissed again while some anacondas slithered towards him.

"EEP!"

(With Alix)

She smiled while her room was covered in millions of tiny bunny rabbits, not caring that they trapped her here for a day.

One nibbled her hair while another one hopped onto Alix's head.

"Man, who knew I'd be surrounded by so many fluffy things. Don't tell anyone I said that, don't want them thinking I'm getting soft."

They kept on hopping about as we see a small hole above the room.

Bunnyx looked down and chuckled before turning to the screen. "Welp, looks like I found out that one of my selves loves bunnies. Cute."

That was when a rabbit hopped from one of the portals and landed on her head with a sign reading '_Fin_' in carrot juice.

"Aw!" She gushed with joy. "A bun bun!"

The audience chuckled before an umbrella was pointed at them, silencing them.

"That's better." She smirked as the screen turned black and she waved the audience goodbye. "Later."


	2. Chapter 2

List of oneshots part 4

chapter 2

A kidnapped teen is brought to an island where the mad scientist there unleashes his creation on him.

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We currently find ourselves on what looked like a foreboding island with dark clouds overhead and rough water all around. The call of several birds were heard through the dense jungle as the camera flew through the trees, moving towards the very center of the island. On the center showed a large and dark castle with numerous towers.

One window of one of the towers was lit, as it zoomed closer until various flashes flickered across the window. It went into a spacious room that showed numerous screens and monitors and all manner of machines. A single chair was seen with someone sitting on it and facing a large screen. It was a man possibly around his mid to late 30s or 40s, with short greying hair, a few wrinkles on his face, a pair of glasses that seemed to glow from the reflection of the screen and then revealed a pair of dark green eyes. He was looking at numerous random areas in and around the castle and island while typing away at a large console.

"Now where are you hiding, my little lab rat?" He mumbled while typing at the keyboard.

This man's name was Dr. Eric Schnider, a geneticist and brilliant scientist in his own right. At least, that's what he believes himself to be, since the world sees him as nothing but a crazed scientist. He's tried to go and push the envelope when it comes to limitations, but all that gets him is grief from people who can't see his vision.

"Fools. All of them nothing but fools!" He snarled under his breath. "They don't know the true genius of my experiments, I'll show them what happens when you trifle with me." he stood up with a frown. "All I need to do is to prove to them that my latest experiment is genius! I just need to get the test going is to make sure my 'assistant' is awake."

He walked towards another door that leads to a different room, once he enters it he switches the lights on, peers through a glass window and smiles when he saw his 'assistant' waking up. Said 'assistant' was a human teen with short blond hair with a bandage on his cheek, fingerless black gloves, a loose black shirt, and brown pants with a backwards baseball cap who sat up with a groan.

"Ugh, wha-What happened?" He asked himself while rubbing his throbbing head. He looked around the small room and saw a chain on his ankle. "And what the hell is this doing on me?"

"Let's just say that it's to ensure that you won't do anything, stupid, like attempting to escape the moment you wake up."

The teen jolted and looked at the window and frowned. "Hey, what's the big idea? Where am I? Why the fuck did you knock me out?!"

"Because if I simply asked you to help, you might have denied." Schnider told the young man with a grin on his face, looking through the window. "You have no idea just how hard it is to find good help these days."

"You fuck!" the teen tried reaching at the window, but the chain held him in place.

"Temper, temper young man. No need to get so worked up." Schnider tsked. "Besides, why're you so hostile? You have the perfect chance to help one of the greatest scientists in the world!"

"You mean a nutjob!"

Schnider growled under his breath and gritted his teeth, taking every ounce of control to not explode on the young man. "Well they like to say there's a thin line between insanity and genius, but I like to say that's silly talk for those not willing to think big." Schnider then turns his attention to another screen, where a shadowed figure was seen, sitting on the floor. "And you're going to help me with my latest new experiment. Whether you want to or not!"

"The hell I am! Let me out of here or I'm gonna bust your head in!"

Schnider only chuckled at the young man's threat. "I'm afraid you'll be far too busy with my 'daughter'."

"Daughter?" spoke the teen confused.

Suddenly on the other side of the room he was in, a wall appeared to be moving upward, revealing nothing but darkness until the sounds of footsteps were heard.

"Yes, my 'daughter' my latest and fully grown creation."

The young man's eyes went wide as plates when he saw something that wasn't even human! There before him was a creature that almost looked like a dragon, standing over 11 to 12 feet in height, dark blue scales and cyan scales on the underside, purple eyes and a head of white hair. However, while it didn't have any wings, it had a pair of triple Q-Cup breasts and a large cock and a pair of balls. But what made it even more bizarre is that the breasts have no nipples, but big luscious purple lips, the same with the cock as it too had lips as well as its tail. Not to mention a shade of red lipstick on the head with sharp claws and a tail that swished behind it with the teen feeling his blood run cold.

"Young man, say hello to my precious creation; Scylla! My beloved daughter."

The teen gulped as he saw the dragon look down at him and backed up as far as he could. She took a step forward, but the man coughed.

"Easy my dear, don't get too excited just yet."

Scylla turned to her father behind the window, and huffed. "But papa! You said that Ah can play with him when Ah saw him." Scylla whined but it wasn't from her main mouth, but from her cock.

"Yes, but I have a better idea than just letting you play with him in a dingy tiny room." Schnider said before pressing a switch on a remote he brought with him.

Then another wall of the room suddenly slides open, and reveals the jungle before them.

"I'm sure that you would like a little game of cat and mouse, before you have your fun with him." He smiled with the teen paling.

"Hold the fuck up! What the hell is that thing!?" The young man exclaimed loudly while pointing at Scylla, who felt insulted by his words.

"Thing? How rude!" The left breast said in an Arabian accent.

"Didn't your mother ever teach you any manners? You tupitsa!" The right breast scolded in a Russian accent.

"And how is it talking with it's tits and dick!?"

"Hehehe, that's the wonders of genetic science my boy. Scylla here is by far no means a normal creature, while she has a main mouth like any normal creature, I've modified her to have more than one mouth which can function on their own." Chuckled the man. "I used plenty of reptile DNA for durability and grafted her with functioning genitalia to reproduce and the mouths are in case her regular mouth is stuffed or clogged, keeping her from suffocating."

The young man only stared at Scylla in total awe and fear when he saw this hungry look in her eyes, and a giggle that sent chills down his spine from all of her mouths.

"Besides Cameron, it's not like you won't get a chance. You get a ten minute head start. If you reach the labyrinth in the jungle you might be able to escape the island."

"Wait, WHAT?!" he went wide eyed.

"What? I figured you'd WANT some way out of here. Of course, you're free to stay here when I remove the chain, it'd make it so much easier on my research and Scylla."

Cameron then looks down to see the chain finally off his ankle, looks back up to Scylla who grinned with all of her mouths and waved at the young man. That was enough for him to bolt out of the room and into the jungle like a missile, trying to get as far away from the madman and his monster as possible.

"You can run all you want, but I'm gonna get you cutie~!" called Scylla with her main mouth while licking her lips.

"Just remember Scylla, don't use all your speed in one go. Pace yourself. It'll make the catch all the more satisfying." smirked the scientist.

"Yes, daddy, I'll be as gentle when I find the little cutie." Scylla giggled and all of her mouths licked their lips over the thought of ravaging the human.

"Of course, I might get a bit rough, he DOES have quite the rear." spoke a pair of lips on her tail while having an African accent.

Just up ahead was Cameron racing through the jungle, panting heavily while dodging various vines and tree branches hanging low, and eventually he stops to catch his breath.

"Oh god...what...the hell...have I...gotten myself...into!" He breathed out while wiping the sweat off his face. He looks around and only saw more jungle all around him. "Dammit, I gotta find a way to get off this crazy island, who knows what else that crazy bastard's created here."

He waited till he got his breath back and started to keep moving while trying to hide under some brush. "Hopefully I can find something that doesn't have any wasps or venomous snakes. I so don't need that to give me away if she finds me." he muttered while moving over a few tree roots and pushed some brush aside, but stopped and spotted what looked like an opening in the middle of two large walls. "What the hell's that?" He questioned while cautiously walked over to the opening, looking around himself in case of any sneak attacks or possibly Scylla lurking around. He didn't see anything, except a straight path inward and tapped his head.

"Wait...is this that maze thing that nutcase talked about?" He suddenly froze when he thought he heard something. He remained quiet, waiting to pick up what he heard, and felt his heart almost stopping when he heard a familiar voice calling out for him.

"Oh Cameron, where are you~?"

'_SHIT!_' He inwardly screamed while sweating up a storm. He turns his attention to the opening, and then back at the jungle and decided on one conclusion. 'I really got no choice. There can't be anything worse in there than what's coming for me, right?' Taking a deep breath he ran straight into the opening and turned to his left.

The camera then went above and showed Cameron racing through the maze. He took a left, a right, then another left, but hit a dead end.

"Shit, I gotta backtrack and take the other way!" He snarled and quickly ran back the way he came, and took a right only to hear this humming sound and knew it was that abomination that scientist created! "Fuck!" He silently hissed and quickly and quietly ran down the path he took, just in time as Scylla took the path that lead him to a dead end.

"Darn, I'll have to try another way." remarked the russian breast.

"Oh, Ah hope to catch that little rabbit. Just thinking about fuckin' him makes me all kinds of horny~" The cock purred while the other mouths giggled over the idea. Scylla turns around and began to hop in a manner similar to Pepe Le Pew.

"I don't know what to do first, but just thinking about it is making me stone hard~" purred the main mouth with the dick standing at attention.

"How about we give him a big ol' kiss when we catch him?" The left breast suggested.

"Oooh, I like it." spoke the tail.

"Looks like we have a game plan then." Scylla spoke with a grin. "All we have to do is catch him."

All the mouths chuckled and kept moving while Cameron reached another dead end.

"Shit, not another one!" He exclaimed in dismay. He went back the other way and looked around. 'Think Cameron think! Which way did I just come from?' He looked to his left and to his right, desperately trying to remember where he came from. "Which way? Which way?" He mumbled frantically. "Left it is then!"

Scylla reached the spot he came and looked around the paths with a frown. "Aw, he's gone again!" She pouted while snapping her fingers in frustration.

"Not fer long he won't be, darlin'." The cock mouth said with a grin.

"Look there." spoke the tail mouth looking at the ground. "It seems left a little trail without knowing."

"Or perhaps he wishes to tease us, how adorable." smirked the Russian mouth.

"Hehehe, he can run but he can't hide from us." The Arabian mouth chuckled.

"C'mon y'all! We got ourselves a man to catch!" The southern cock declared.

Scylla took off down the trail with Cameron himself slowing down, but not stopping just yet.

"C'mon, c'mon! There has to be a way out of this crazy ass maze!" he growled before hearing a giggle and felt his blood run cold before looking over his shoulder and spotted Scylla at the far end of the path.

"We found you~" Scylla sang with a sly smile.

"CRAP!" Cameron started running with Scylla slowly jogging after him.

"Do not run! We have a present for you!" spoke the Russian mouth before both breasts seemingly began to expand with the mouths closed before Scylla squeezed them, causing milk to come shooting out both pairs of lips at the boy who turned and narrowly dodged the streams.

"SHIT!" He yelped and quickly made a sharp turn to his left while Scylla's breasts expanded once more, and then fires yet another powerful stream of milk.

"Come back! You can enjoy all the milk you want if you stop!" called Scylla with her normal mouth as the milk splashed against the walls as she chased him.

"Forget it! I'm not that desperate for something to drink!"

"Then how 'bout this darling?" The southern cock said before closing its mouth, expanding and then fires a stream of sperm at the young man.

"Yuck!" he cried ducking under the stream and darted down the right path up ahead and used as much speed as his legs could must to zip down the path and took several random turns without stopping.

"Hoowie! He moves faster than a jackrabbit on huntin' season!" The cock commented before expanding and firing again.

"Indeed, but he can't keep running forever." The left breast smirked before expanding and firing milk after the right breast finished firing.

Cameron panted and kept dodging the milk and sperm while quickly slipping his shoes off without stopping and kicked them backwards at her.

Scylla only chuckled as she easily knocked the shoes away and her breasts and cock fired simultaneously, this time in a full powered force.

Cameron turned and cried out as the high pressurized fluids hit him and sent him flying before crashing against the dead end of a corner. He coughed when he felt the mix of breast milk and sperm entering his mouth and nose, he wiped his face to get the fluids off and then saw the cock smiling at him.

"Hope yer mighty thirsty, 'cause we got tons to give~" Scylla slowly walked towards Cameron who realized he was at a dead end with no other way out and paled.

"N-Now hold on! L-Let's talk this over!" spoke Cameron desperately as the mouths giggled.

"No can do cutie, talk is cheap." spoke the Russian mouth.

"Yeah, we've got you all to ourselves now~" purred the Arabian mouth.

"Now pucker up sugah!" spoke the dick mouth before the dick seemingly pulled back against the groin and went stretching out like a rope at Cameron with the lips puckered.

"AHHH!" he screamed, ducking his head as the dick narrowly missed his head as the lips touched the wall before it popped off and went reeling back to the main body while leaving a large kiss mark on the spot.

"Now hold still hon, there's no need to be shy~" The cock said before going in to kiss him again.

"Woah!" he ducked to the side as the dick mouth landed on the wall and popped off leaving another mark, and suddenly saw Scylla's hands on both sides of his head with the dragon looking down at him with a smirk before grabbing under his arms and lifted him up. "H-H-Hey! Put me down!"

"Wow, you're so light I can hold you, like a small bear cub." remarked the Russian mouth.

Scylla chuckles and move into kiss the young man, only for him to place his hands in front of him, and tries to push her back.

"No! I'm not kissing a lizard!" he spoke while feeling her try to push against the hand, and felt her lips seemingly sliding down and went wide eyed as he saw them stretch out from under the hand, making him try and use his other one to grab them, but they easily slipped away and moved closer.

"Let me give you a big old wet one~" came the lips while puckering before lunging out, making Cameron turns his head as it missed, but came back around making him turn his head the other way as they missed away,

"Please, just let me go!" He pleaded to the monster.

"Nooope~" sang the main mouth before it managed to slam against his own lips with a hum making his eyes widen before feeling her tongue slither into his mouth.

Cameron's eyes nearly bugged out of his sockets when he felt the creature slithering her tongue down his throat, causing it to bulge when she caressed the insides and almost gagging when she almost touched the uvula. It also didn't help she hugged him so close he could feel the mouth nipples licking across his own through his shirt making him wriggle and try pushing her off.

"Now quit your struggling and take it like a man." The tail chuckled before moving to his neck and started kissing his skin and licking all around it.

Cameron blushed and muffled out when he felt the dick mouth nudging at his shorts and tried pulling down the zipper with its teeth. "Mmmmm!" He tries to grab the cock and pull it away, but Scylla's grip on his was like a vice, preventing him from reaching down as her cock finally pulled the zipper down and to his dismay, revealed his hardened member.

"Hoowee! This little thing looks mighty tasty~"

'Don't do it!' he thought before groaning when he felt Scylla press her lips harder against his as her dick mouth stuck its tongue out and started to lightly lick the dick making him try and kick it away.

"Come now, don't try and resist. Just relax and let us take away your worries." The left breast smirked while the cock engulfed Cameron's completely in its mouth.

"MMMMMM!" Cameron mufflely cried out when he felt his cock being licked and sucked on like a candy. 'This is insanely weird!' He then yelped again when he felt the cock mouth engulfing his balls along with his dick, and rolling its tongue all over them.

'Mmm, he didn't get a chance to wash it here~'

After what felt like an eternity, Scylla breaks the kiss, which left a lot of saliva behind and smirked at the stunned young man. "Was that your first kiss?"

All Cameron could do was stutter and jumble up his words, shell shocked over the fact that he lost his first kiss to this creature with many mouths. But he did snap out of it when he felt the dick mouth lick all around his balls and seemingly pull back over the dick portion and slide back over, making him groan and get harder.

"Are you enjoying this, Cameron?" The tail mouth smirked while licking around his ear.

"Do you like having your dick sucked on by our huge big dick?" The left breast asked while kissing through his shirt, dampening the cloth from the mix of saliva and milk.

He let out another groan and moan the fact the dick moved back and forth over his faster and faster.

"Aw, looks like he likes it if his cock's hard as a rock~" Scylla purred which made the other mouths, save for the cock one giggling. "Don't worry, when you cum, I'll drink it all up~"

The cock mouth sucked on Cameron's dick a little harder, until he finally exploded inside the cock, who cooed at the taste of the young man's delicious sperm going down its throat. It sucked up the dick juice with eager while Cameron moaned feeling the breast mouths latch onto his shirt and start sucking on his nipples through them making him grit his teeth.

As he was too busy cumming inside the cock mouth, the tail mouth slithers over and rams its lips against his, forcing its tongue inside his mouth.

"Mmmmm?!" He yelped through the lips of the tail, and yelped even louder when he felt his shirt being torn to shreds by Scylla, leaving his upper body bare, and felt the two breast mouths latching onto his nipples soaking the nubs in their saliva.

"Mmm, you're already so hard~" purred the Arabian mouth over the nipple.

"I knew you would enjoy getting a kiss from me." Scylla smirked while groping Cameron's ass. "Mmm, your butt is adorable."

Cameron tries to break her grip on him, but it was too strong, while the tail continued making out with him. He tried to shove the tongue out with his own, but that just urged the mouth more and rubbed and licked all around it. He unconsciously battled the tail's tongue while his chest was being licked all over by the two breasts and the one around his cock pulls away, and licked its lips.

"Dang, now that's some good eats."

The tail mouth pulls away with a wet smack, breathing out a sigh of bliss while Cameron was panting heavily. "So is your mouth."

Cameron suddenly snapped out of his trance when he felt himself being moved to the left breast, and saw the lips puckering themselves to kiss him.

"Kiss me you fool~"

Before he could protest he felt Scylla pushing his face to her breast, and felt its lips colliding with him. "Mmmm!" Cameron's taste buds were assaulted by the combination of saliva and milk from the breast. The taste of the little bit of milk was unlike anything he ever had before. It was amazingly sweet and something he found himself enjoying when it went down his throat.

As Cameron felt the tongue of the breast slithering in his mouth, he felt a sudden burning feeling in his chest, especially down at his cock, his face gained a faint dusting of red when the burning feeling made him even more rigid than before. 'What the hell is up with this milk? Is it poison?!'

The breast broke the kiss with a wet smack and licked its lips with a smirk. "How did our milk taste?"

"Wha-What's in it anyway? Poison? I'm burning up here!"

"Nope, it's filled with a special aphrodisiac." chuckled the tail mouth.

This made him freeze like a statue. "...A-A-Aphrodisiac?" He repeated with sweat rolling down his face.

"Yup, which means you're gonna get all hot and bothered sugah~"

"NO WAY AM I LETTING YOU HAVE YOUR WICKED WAY WITH ME!" He cried out and managed to break her hold on him and tried to run away again.

"Nope~" she sang as the tail lashed out and wrapped itself around his neck, but not strangling him before lifting him up. "You're not going anywhere just yet, cutie. My other two mouths haven't had the chance to make out."

"Let go of me!" He cried out while effortlessly kicking his legs, but he found himself being kissed by the right breast, while Scylla's fingers teased his anus. He felt a bigger stream of milk get sent into his mouth while moaning on accident when he felt the finger start pushing inside him.

"Just relax Cammy. Let all your worries wash away."

'Damn it, I can't stop feeling hot and horny.' He was forced to drink any milk the breast had sent in his mouth, or risk suffocating from the kiss. He felt the finger move in and out of his ass slowly and teasingly with his dick leaking precum, much to his annoyance. He closed his eyes as tears threatened to come out. The burning sensation of the aphrodisiac was becoming unbearable, he felt like he was in a volcano at this point, and his cock was pulsating violently, like it was to explode. But the milk was making his dick feel so good he could feel it twitching. His hand subconsciously went for his cock and began to stroke it, in hopes to soothe the burning feeling.

"Aw, look at you, you're getting all hot and bothered~" Scylla cooed when pumping her finger in his ass even faster.

"Ahhh!" Cameron gasped loudly and pumped himself even faster, his heart pounding so violently like it's gonna explode.

"How does it feel to have your butt touched like this?" The cock mouth smirked while licking all over Cameron's twitching cock.

"Ahhh!" he moaned out louder.

"That's it cutie. Just relax, don't think about anything else~" Purred Scylla before claiming his lips with her regular mouth.

Cameron moaned into the kiss while feeling her arching his head back, bringing her hands to the back of his head and rubbing him in slow, and tender movement. All the while he felt the dick mouth suck on his balls and cried out as his sperm went gushing out. The cock purred in delight to taste his sperm once again, this time its 'cheeks' puffed up from his own sperm, some of it oozed out from its lips.

"Mmm, it tastes more sweeter than before~"

The poor boy felt himself becoming lost to the effects of the aphrodisiac, as well as to Scylla's kissing. So much so he didn't realize she stopped kissing him, but found himself on his knees. He then looked at the smiling cock mouth with glossy eyes, and his face was a healthy shade of red, panting softy when he saw the cock puckering its lips and then captured his in a kiss, and this time he didn't try to fight back.

"I'll be nice and share some of your own sperm with you." Scylla smirked as her cock started pumping sperm into Cameron's mouth, taking in the boy's moans as he swallowed her life seed like he was in a desert. "Mmm, there you go, drink it all up~"

Cameron swallowed gulp after gulp of the sticky, salty and tangy goodness of the sperm, rubbing the head with his hands as he deepened the kiss. He felt his mind growing hazy while feeling some of the sperm seep down his chin. Once the cock stopped pumping its sperm, they broke the kiss with several strings of sperm from their mouths. Cameron panted while looking dazed, so much so he didn't even realize he came all over the ground.

"Now, was that so hard Cammy?" Scylla smiled while pulling his chin upward.

He panted and stared at her smirking face and could only give a brief shake of his head.

"Would you like to go all the way with me?" she smirked. "If so, then lay on your belly."

Cameron wordlessly did as she told and lays down on his belly, he moaned when he felt her hands on his ass cheeks again, kneading them like bread dough.

"Ah'm gonna stretch that hole out~" purred the dick mouth. The cock then stuck out its tongue and pushed it inside Cameron's ass, who moaned when he felt the wet muscle entering him, and groaned when Scylla began pushing the cock inside him.

"Mmm, this is gonna be my first time I get to fuck someone!" Scylla purred while Cameron's insides were constricting her cock, sending shivers down her spine.

"All I get are toys, which means I can cut loose!" The tail said as it slithered down and started to lick around Cameron's neck.

The boy groaned as he felt the dick wiggle in him and kept on pushing in deeper. So much so it was forming a bulge under his skin, and could feel the cock licking his insides, and moaning vibrations from the cock. "Ahhhhh!" Cameron moaned loudly and felt his back being pelted by kisses from the two breasts, the tail slithers to his face and captured him in another kiss.

"Boy howdy! It sure is dark in here." The cock muffled through Cameron's insides and felt itself being pulled back, and then pushed back in.

Cameron groaned and grabbed at the ground with the tingle of pleasure shooting up his spine.

"That's it cutie. Just enjoy it, and let me bring you to paradise~"

"You will be screaming my name in no time." smirked the russian mouth.

Cameron felt himself being rocked back and forth by Scylla, who was moaning loudly from his insides massaging her cock and gripping his hips like a vice. "F-Fuck! Y-You're too big!" Cameron groaned after breaking the kiss.

"Or maybe you're just so damn tight, little Cammy~" Scylla cooed before grabbing his nipples and pinching them.

"AHH!" he yelped out while feeling the dick rub up against his inner walls making him go wide eyed. His eyes rolling to the back of his head, his body was arching itself and his tongue was hanging out from his mouth

"Oh! You just got tighter." Scylla groaned and started thrusting her hips faster. "That show you're loving having my big fat dick up your butt." She then turns Carmon around till he was on his back, let her left breast capture him in a kiss, and fed him its milk.

"Go ahead and drink up so you can keep your strength up." The right breast said while licking his nipple.

Cameron felt his whole body heating up again, the milk was so delicious and creamy, he couldn't stop drinking. He sucked on the mouth and moaned as his dick stayed right hard and groaned feeling the tail mouth move over and suck on his balls. All the while on a corner of a wall was a camera, and spying through it was Schnider, who watched with a pleasant smirk on his lips as his daughter was thrusting in and out of the young man.

"That's it dear, use this boy as much as you want. He's your personal toy from this day forth." He said through the speakers, though she was too busy fucking the young man to even reply, but she knew what he mean and increased her ramming speed.

"Ah! Ah! Ahh! AHH!"

After a few more thrusts, the cock mouth's cheeks puffed up and spewed a tidal wave of sperm inside Cameron.

"Drink up our seed with your asshole little man." Scylla as well as her three mouths said in unison.

Cameron cried out as his sperm shot all over the ground and shook feeling the sperm shoot into his asshole. The poor teen never felt such bliss, such pleasure in his whole life. He felt like he was drowning in an ocean of pure euphoria. By the time she was done he was panting with his head sideways and looking dazed.

"So? Did you enjoy my treatment?" Scylla asked while teasing his face by sliding her finger against his cheek.

"Ah...ah...Ah..."

"Aw, he's so tired he can't even answer." The cock said while giving a light kiss to his balls.

"We'll let him rest, than do it again." spoke the Arabian mouth.

"Oh, I can't wait till he's fully conscious during our sessions~" The tail cooed.

"We will turn him into our toy." cooed the Russian mouth.

(Timeskip)

It had been well over three months, almost a year now since Cameron was captured, and being used as a guinea pig for Dr. Schnider's creation; Scylla. Dr. Schnider himself was busy looking over some data while looking pleased with himself.

And as for his daughter?

Inside a room were the sounds of blissful moaning were heard, the camera went through the door and showed Cameron on his hands and knees on a bed, and mounting him was Scylla who was thrusting her cock deeper and deeper inside him. Said boy having a leather collar on with his tongue hanging open while the nipple mouth's tongues were sticking out and licking his back as she went in and out.

"No matter how many times I fuck you, you're still so damn tight~" Scylla purred while reaching over and pinching his nipples.

"Ahhhhh!" Cameron gasped while his cock sprayed all over the bed.

"That's it child, moan for us." spoke the tail mouth.

"Give us that lovely music you sing to us." The left breast smirked before resuming licking his skin.

"More! More! MORE!" Cameron cried out with a smile plastered on his lips.

"Good boy~" Scylla purred and thrusts even harder, earning her even more cries of bliss from Cameron. "Now here comes your milk."

With a few strong thrusts Scylla's cock spews out her delicious sperm, flooding Cameron's insides with her life seed.

"AHHHHHHH!" Cameron howls in ecstasy as his belly was bloating from the overwhelming amount of sperm.

Scylla and all her mouths cried out the same feeling the asshole squeeze down.

An hour or so of their climax Cameron was seen sitting on Scylla's lap, being fed from her left breast and her right breast sucking on his cock. He had a dazed look in his eyes while slurping up any milk with his tongue like a thirsty dog.

"That's right Cammy, drink to your hearts desire~" smirked Scylla while rubbing his ass. "There's plenty no matter how much you drink."

"An' once yer done sugarcube, Ah'll being going down yer throat!" grinned the dick mouth with him moaning and nodding in response.

"And if I remember right, daddy said that my sisters should be born by next month, which means you'll have all of us to your self~" Scylla giggled.


	3. Chapter 3

List of oneshots part 4

chapter 3

A few anthro girls worry over their neighbor and his playboy nature and try to fix it.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

An alarm clock rang causing a woman to wake up.

"Ugh, ten more minutes."

Then a knocking came to her door.

"Dammit." they groaned before sitting up. "Coming, coming." She got up, getting clothes on. She was a black chihuahua with black and red hair. Sporting a blue denim jacket, black shirt with a red heart in the middle and black jeans. She opened the door to reveal a bear in a yellow and white button up dress that hugged her D cups. "Good morning Dana." Groaned the chihuahua.

"Morning Cruise. I need your help neighbor." Said the bear.

"Can't it wait till after my breakfast?"

"No, it's just...I'm very concerned about Benson..."

"Benson? What's the chump who couldn't beat me at anything in high school up to now?" She was now wide awake. 'This must be serious.'

"I've been seeing woman after woman come in and out of his house. I fear he's becoming a lecher."

"Oh please, that's crazy talk."

"I tried telling him the merits of having a steady relationship, but he responded by turning his head away from me and spit."

"Ok, now that calls for an ass kicking. I'll be right back."

"Don't hurt him, weren't you and Benson high school friends?"

"Yeah, what of it?"

"Maybe you can talk some sense into him."

"Me? Ha, I told him not to do things and he just goes in and do it."

"If not, then...what can we do?"

"Easy, we train him and hopefully he will find a steady girlfriend. Call up Grace, it's all hands on deck for this."

"I'm on it."

Later...we see a human sitting on the couch smoking while watching the news.

"And in todays news, three people were arrested for public indecency while involved with a rhino."

"I swear, we were just taking a trip to Blueberry Hill."

"Yeah, heard that dirty joke before."

"We didn't think anyone was around!"

"What's with all the sex offenders lately?" Said the human who was watching TV.

"Benson! Open this door!"

He rolled his eyes and turned the volume up to drown out the noise.

"Grace, I need your help."

"Double jump kick?" Said the Tiger who was wearing a white shirt and blue skirt. "But I'm only a yellow belt."

"Your pants will turn yellow if you don't help me!" she growled making the tiger jump. "Now do it!"

"Okay, okay." They ran at the door and then jumped! Both of their kicks making the door burst from its hinges.

"Hey! What the hell!" Then Benson was grabbed by his collar!

"We're being good neighbors! We wanna protect our friends from STDs, like what you're gonna contract if you aren't careful!"

"Yeesh, Dana warned me of that too, want me to turn and spit? Only without the turn part?" Then he got punched in the gut! "Oof!"

"Either listen or the next part I hit is the nose!"

"Okay, just don't slug me again, please."

"I can't keep that promise, but I'll try."

'She's so gonna do it later.'

Later in Cruise's house...

"Wow Cruise, what a mess." Said Benson, picking up trash and putting it in the garbage cans.

"Shut up, I...I just been depressed lately, yeah that's it..." She lied.

"Is this about your crush?" Said Dana who started sweeping her floor.

"No! Shut up! We're here to help Benson."

"Oooh, Cruise has a crush on someone? I wanna know." Said Grace, shining the windows.

"I said shut up, also why the fuck are you guys cleaning my house?"

"We were just following Benson's lead." Said Dana.

"Also aren't you used to this? Back in high school, I had some compulsion to clean your room whenever I visit you." Said Benson.

"Well we're not in high school anymore, so quit it!"

"Fine, guess you can forget about helping me find a steady relationship then!" he remarked making the dog growl and hold up a fist. "Bye." And then Benson took another one in the gut. "Okay...fine."

"But seriously, it's as if you have a pig for a roommate." Said Dana.

"I'll clean my own house."

"Promise?"

"Yes."

"Good."

Later we see them helping Benson with social skills.

"So, what do you say to the tramps that just go home with you?" Asked Cruise, balled fist behind her back.

"Hey bitch, wanna hop on my joystick?"

Then Cruise slapped him!

"No! Bad boy!"

"OW! Bitch!"

Then he was slapped again.

"No cuss words."

"Ow! Why you mother-"

Then he was smacked again.

"I can keep going."

"Cunt."

And like that he was knocked out!

"How were you 2 friends in high school?" Asked Grace.

"Competition. We competed in everything and he showed good sportsmanship. But I guess it didn't translate to decent human being."

Benson got back up.

"And it was quick recovery like that, that made him a challenge in boxing."

"Ooh, he is tough." Said Dana.

"Now then Benson...when you meet a cute girl, you walk up and talk to her like she's a human being. You know, like what you did for your ex when you first met."

"Oh, I'm not supposed to be rude and yet you bring up that whore!"

"Th-this'll be the last and only time I mention her during our sessions."

"Promise?"

Cruise then spit into her palm. "What do you think?"

Benson did the same and then they shook hands, grossing out Dana and Grace.

"Okay let's do this. Now, please try talking to a girl like they're people. Say they're pretty, and then try tricking them into seeing if you and her have similar tastes, then try asking her out."

"But I'm a complete stranger."

"Not after a bonding conversation." Said Dana

"And besides, they might say yes, you're kinda hot..." added Grace.

"Well I knew that." he remarked bluntly.

"If I wasn't married with kids, I'd propose." Said Dana.

"Girls, if you're thirsty, there's orange juice in my fridge." Remarked Cruise.

"I think we could use some."

They then went to the fridge.

"Now for practice, speak casually to me."

"Sup bitch."

Then he got punched.

"What the fuck was that?"

"You're my friend, so I was being casual."

Cruise groaned and pinched the area between her eyebrows. "Let's try something else. Pretend you're meeting me for the first time and you wanna ask me out, but do it casually."

*ahem* "Hello, I couldn't help but notice a-"

"-Say sexy piece of ass and you're dead." Cruise threatened.

"-pretty girl sitting here. I just had to come over to try my luck."

'You got lucky.' "Oh, please I'm not that pretty."

'No kidding you edgelord dog.' "Come on, don't be so humble, please go out with me?"

"I dunno..."

"Well, what do you like?"

"I like reading, smoking, playing sports..."

"I love all those things too." 'Huh, those are all actually things I love doing.'

"Well...what's your favorite type of music?"

"Rock, Metal, just anything loud in-general."

"Me too." 'I actually do.'

'Being rather honest in this aren't you Cruise?' Thought Dana and Grace.

"Great, I we can go catch a Megadeth concert, my boss gave me a raise and it's enough for 2 tickets." She then gestured showing off an imaginary salary bonus.

"Great, we can go together."

Then Cruise clapped her hands together. "Great job on the practice, Benson."

"Thanks, I'm pretty smooth, wouldn't you say?"

"I'd rather blast my brains out before I let you take me on a real date."

"Well who says I'd ask you?"

"Okay Cruise, before you hit Benson again, why don't we apply what he's said to a random girl out in the streets." Panicked Grace. "That way we can help him with real world experience."

"Fine, but I swear, if you-"

"I won't."

"Good boy."

Later we see Cruise, Dana and Grace all hiding in a dark alley as Benson leaned against a wall, smoking.

"You did tell him smoking is a turn off, right?"

That's when Cruise swiped the cigarette for herself.

"Whuh, hey!"

"Hey calm down, at least it isn't being wasted." Said Cruise. "Look, there's a cutie over there, get her!" She pointed to a black cat wearing a grey shirt and yoga pants.

"Now go on."

"Ugh! Fine." he walked towards the cat and coughed. "Hey there."

"Hmm? Oooh, hey."

"I was just walking around and then I couldn't help but notice you, a very pretty girl." he spoke while trying to sound polite and not be crash. "What brings you around here?"

"Just heading home after doing some yoga in the park."

"Oh, so you're flexible?"

"Yeah, I've been at this for 3 years, so I'm very skilled."

"Well...would you mind teaching me? I wanna be that flexible in bed."

"Oh, you have a girlfriend?"

"No, wish I did though." He lied. 'No commitments! But then Cruise would beat me, tell my dad on me then continue to beat me with him helping beating me.'

'Don't say anything dumbass.'

"Aww, don't worry, with your good looks, you'll find somebody. The name's Jackie, so when do you usually get up during the weekends?"

"7 AM."

"That's fine, I wake up a little earlier. See yah next week at the park." Then she left with Benson getting a good look at her ass as she walked away.

"Great job."

"Yeah, but she says she wants to be friends."

"I completely disregarded the friend zone so I could date the man, or rather, ham that would one day become my husband." Said Dana. "If you ignore it, you'll find love."

"So ignore her?"

"No you idiot, ignore the friend zone." Said Cruise. "Ugh, how did you get 2nd place at all of our Karate Tournaments with brains as dumb as yours?"

"How did you manage to get through life being a bitch?"

This time Cruise punched so hard, Benson was sent flying! His launch, sent him into the road where he was caught by a sports car!

"Oh shit!"

"He'll get back up, his bones refuse to break, I've seen it first hand." Cruise assured him.

"Really? Is Benson the Son of The Mask or something?"

"Don't even bring that up, that movie is wrong on so many levels."

"Okay, I'm back." Said Benson. "So what next?"

"So, we get you ready for next week." Said Dana.

"Next week? Come on, isn't that enough?"

"You're gonna stand her up? Just try and maybe she'll like you back."

"Ugh!" He groaned. "Fine, sheesh, if this is what having a mom is like, I'm glad that cheating whore left me and dad."

"Hey! I'm more tolerable than that bitch!"

"Guys!" Gasped Grace. "Stop fighting!"

"SHUT IT!" That's when Dana slapped them both! Her strength eclipsing that of Cruise's own! "That's enough." She said with a stern voice. "Both of you apologize and then hug."

Cruise and Benson then got up.

"Sorry for being an ass."

"Sorry for hitting you so much, and for nagging, and while I'm at it, sorry for eating your gingerbread house back in 4th grade and blaming it on Tom."

"Of course that was you." Benson rolled his eyes.

Then they hugged.

"You owe me a new one."

She rolled her eyes.

Next week we see Benson meeting up with Jackie.

"Hey, good to see you again." Said Jackie. "Ooh, you look ready, come on, and no staring at my ass during the session."

"You got it."

Later...they made it to the park with other 3 hiding, to make sure he doesn't screw up.

"I hope this works."

Jackie was in her usual yoga get up while Benson wore a neon blue tank top and yoga pants as well. They laid their mats down and got on them.

"Ready?"

"Yes."

"Good, now just do what I do." She said, doing a position.

He did the same while glancing at her legs. 'Do not stare at the ass.' He thought.

"You think he's staring at her ass?" Asked Grace.

"Nah, my lecher sense isn't tingling. I can sense perv stares, especially his." Cruise explained.

"How does that work?" Asked Dana. "Has he stared at you?"

"No, but he has stared at other girls and I felt the perviness in his stares."

"Ouch, must be sad that he isn't sexually attracted to you." Said Dana.

"I WILL rip your clothes off and make you go streaking."

"That attitude must be why no guys have hit on you."

"Grace, if you say anything else, you're gonna be scared of sleeping for the rest of your life."

Then Grace puffed her cheeks up. "Hmph, meanie."

Back to Benson and Jackie, they were doing full splits.

"Ooh, how are you doing a perfect split?"

"I've been in a lot of martial arts tournaments, always 2nd place though."

"Wow, impressive."

"Yeah, but I just wish I could win once, I never had a first place, always, second, second, second and I don't know why, I train so hard, but this one girl, my rival keeps beating me."

"Awww." Then they did another position. "Is she that tough?"

"Yeah, and she's always hitting me when I'm trying to get laid so I stopped hanging out with her."

"Aww-wait...are you trying to get laid now?"

"Y-No! No no no."

"I don't feel comfortable around you now."

"No no, I'm serious! I'm not gonna hit on you."

"I bet you were staring at my ass, as well." Then she got up.

"Wait, no! Come back."

"Bye shit head." Then she jogged away.

"Dammit!"

"Great job idiot." Said Cruise.

"Were you girls following me!?"

"What do you think?"

"Why?"

"To make sure you didn't ruin things with your actions." Said Dana

"But you fucked up with your words." Said Cruise.

"I can't help being jealous and spiteful towards you. Can I just go back to hooking up for one night stands?"

"No."

"Fuck you."

Then he was knocked out by Cruise!

"Ugh, this idiot."

"Can we try having him go out with one of my friends?" Asked Grace. "My friend Irma has trouble finding a date because of her shyness."

"Fine."

Xxxxxx

"Great."

The next week, we now see Benson dressed up in casual clothing and a black parka.

"Okay, the movie you're gonna see with Maxine is 'Giddy Up Sentai Westranger'." Grace explained.

"Isn't that the cartoon that the kids are talking about?"

"It's not for kids! It's for adults!" Shouted Grace.

"And you're certain my date isn't between 5 and 12?"

"I told you already, she's 26!"

"I'm just asking, I'll get with girls, but not girls THAT young."

"Keep antagonizing her." Said Cruise. "It's cute when she's mad."

"Giiiiirls, stop!"

Then the doorbell rang!

"She's here!"

The door opened to reveal a doe in a blue dress and grey jacket. "Hey, I'm Irma."

"Hey, I'm Benson." He replied. 'Not much up top, but damn, those legs.'

"Well? Shall we?" She then held out her arm.

"Sure thing."

They hooked their arms around each other and headed for the car.

"Remember, if he does anything stupid, you have me on speed dial!" Said Cruise.

"I know."

Later...it was time for previews.

"Coming soon, a very dark and gritty kids movie." Said the announcer.

"About damn time those came back to theaters." Mumbled Benson.

"They don't make them like they used to."

"My parents? Nah, I don't have those. I don't really have anyone to depend on really." Said the little girl in the trailer. "It's all been me, hiding and running all my life to survive in this war, taking any food I could find."

Then came the sounds of guns, bombs and innocent people screaming.

"Damn is that awesome."

"If I can just finish this rope, then we can escape." Said a teen boy.

"No, escape is a coward's idea. We need to stay here and end this war."

"With what weapons?" Said an old woman.

"You told me 'they're' commanding both sides right? If we can just get to them, then no more people have to die."

"War Child, coming soon next year."

And then the actual movie started.

"Wow, that looks pretty good."

The actual movie began with strange looking grunts attacking a modern city, but that's when...

*bang!* and then the grunts saw 5 figures. All wearing cowboy clothes. One dressed in blue, one dressed in black, one dressed in pink, one dressed in orange and finally, the one leading the charge, dressed in red. The one dressed in pink, blowing the smoke off her gun.

'Hey, guns shouldn't be in happy looking kids movies, shouldn't they?' Thought Benson.

"Wow, that looks great."

"Howdy pardner, what brings you to this here modern city?" Asked the one dressed in Orange.

"Oh yeah? What brings a bunch of bright colored looking cowboys and cowgirl to this city?" Asked the monster.

"Oh, we'll answer that for you." Said the red one.

"Star Badge Henshin!" Then a lot of bright flashes and the 5 became tokusatsu looking superheroes!

"Well there's the answer." Said the monster.

"Red Westranger!"

"Blue Westranger!"

"Orange Westranger!"

"Black Westranger!"

"Pink Westranger!"

"Giddy Up Sentai Westranger!" Said the Red Westranger before they all started pulling out pistols, swords and lassos.

'Hey, swords were never in the wild west...what am I talking about? That's obviously just there so the company that makes this show can sell toys.'

"Ooooh."

Some time later into the movie as we see into a flashback scene...

'That's how the blue guy got the eye patch, and at 11 years old? Goddamn!' Thought Benson.

"I love seeing these types of heroes fight for some reason, sure it's sort of the same thing with the costumes and powers, but I just love the stories." Whispered Irma.

"I admit, I am having fun watching this." He whispered back.

Then they get to the end of the movie. The battle damaged suits making the heroes look cooler!

"Adios!" Said the heroes, finishing off the final boss of the movie! After the bad guy exploded, the children all started cheering and jumping!

'Huh...that actually excited me.' Thought Benson.

Later as they were exiting the theater...

"I had a lot of fun."

"Me too." Said Benson. "So...uh...wanna have some more fun?"

"Is that an offer for sex? Sorry, I have a genophobia, a fear of sex."

"Oh...is that so?"

"Yep."

Later...when they got to her house.

"See you never." Then he sped off in his car!

"Dammit..." Said Irma. "One day, I'll get over my fear, or my name isn't Irma Maxine...but first, time to call Cruise to kick Benson's ass!"

(Later)

"Ow!"

"You horn dog!" Then she kicked him in the head! "What did we just go over!"

"I don't know, I had earplugs on."

"You heard me just fine."

"Okay, so they were imaginary ear plugs."

"You wanna know what isn't imaginary?"

"What? Your next kick?"

That's when she slammed her forehead super hard against his!

"OW!"

"That!"

"Wait, before you hit me again...I need to sit down...oh fuck I always hated your headbutts the most!"

"That's the point!"

"Listen, just let me live my life..."

"Not just yet, one more try, just one more. I'll set you up with my friend Freida." Said Dana.

"Ugh come on!"

"Don't worry, we can do this, trust us."

"That's what I'm afraid of."

"Don't worry, Freida is a sweet girl, and will fuck on the first date."

"Sweet!"

"Great, now, for proper food etiquette." Said Dana.

"And each time you get it wrong I'm punching you." Said Cruise.

Later...we now see Benson in a tux, sitting alone at a fancy restaurant. Cruise, Dana and Grace of course were at a table behind him.

"It's been half an hour, where's Frieda?" Asked Grace.

"Don't worry, I know Frieda, she's never one to stand up a date." Said Dana. "She'll be here in no time."

Another half an hour passes...

"Okay, maybe I was wrong." Said Dana as a waiter walked up to Benson.

"Sir, are you gonna order something?"

"In a sec, my date is just running late."

"Sir, it's been an hour, your date stood you up!"

"She'll get here!"

"May as well give up dude, but hey, at least you weren't the jerk this time..." Said Cruise, getting up from her seat.

"Son of a bitch!"

"Hey! Language, this is a fancy restaurant." Said Grace.

"Yeah, we can always set you up with someone else." Dana added.

"Nope, I'm outta here, and I'm gonna start doing hook ups again!" Then Benson stormed off.

"Get back here!"

He ignored Cruise's demand and stomped out.

"You stubborn freak! Girls, pay the check, I gotta go kick his fucking ass!"

"Cruise wait!"

It was dark and stormy as Cruise ran after Benson!

"Get back here!"

Benson stopped and then threw off his tux jacket.

"Hey! We were renting that tu-" That's when Benson caught her punch!

"Not this time!"

"You really wanna go? Remember who always wins the martial arts tournaments, and who always gets 2nd?"

"Not this time cunt!" Then he swung his other fist! The impact made Cruise reel back!

"Heh, heh, heh...so you really wanna do this...WHERE WAS THAT COURAGE WHEN YOU GOT DUMPED!?" Then Cruise spin kicked and Benson blocked with his right arm!

"I wasn't pushed this far!" He said.

"Really? A whore who cheated on you, by making out with some guy on YOUR house's porch wasn't pushing it any further than this?" Then she punched him in the chest!

"You bringing up pain I've moved on from is what's making it worse!" Then he karate chopped her jaw!

"Guys! Stop!" Dana pleaded, but it was no use.

"I was doing just fine until you had to stick your nose in MY business!"

"I expected you to become stronger from that experience, but all that's happened is that you became a womanizer! Do you realize how long I waited for you, my best friend and sports rival to come out of your room after the break up?"

"I have a feeling you'll tell me."

Then both charged and collided fists!

"The rest of my high school life! I gave up and forgot about you when I started college."

"Then what made you care after we finally reunited?"

"When you became a jerk! What happened when you disappeared?"

"I was in pain, but it wasn't just my ex, soon after my mom cheated on my dad! Then after the divorce, more awful stuff happened, both to me and my dad, I was just so miserable I couldn't leave my room. Then one day...the worst thing ever happened, and it killed the kind person you met in High School!"

*flashback*

Benson was sulking after all that's been happening in his life.

"Son?" Benson's dad called from down the stairs. "Please come down, I found some people who can help you..."

"Coming dad." He walked down the stairs. "I dunno dad, can they really get rid of my..."

Masked men dressed in all black had his dad at gunpoint.

"Whoa you're big, okay big guy, stand next to your dad and we'll take all your nice stuff."

Benson paled and moved over to his dad, scared as fuck now.

They eventually grabbed all the valuables.

"Okay...you got what you want, no-" That's when a bang was heard, and just like that...Benson's dad fell, his corpse lying on the floor in front of him!

"See yah bitch!" Then the thieves ran!

"Daaaad!"

*flashback over!*

"He was the last part of my life that gave me any hope! But now that the tiny bit of my hope has disappeared...just fuck everyone, I don't need anyone!" he snapped with tears and landed a bunch on Cruise who was too stunned to respond and fell down. "What? I finally won? I couldn't have been that easy!"

Cruise got back up, cracking her knuckles. "I'm so sorry all that happened, now I regret even more just giving up that you'd one day leave your room so we can go back to competing in sports tournaments." Then Cruise returned the punch! "But now I'm gonna make sure you find true love and return to being the old Benson again!"

"And what makes you think there's a chance you'll get the old me back?"

"You haven't killed yourself yet! You're still here, despite your miserable years locked up in your room!"

"There's still a chance I might!"

"Don't you dare take that route!" She was about land a kick to his head, but he caught it, was about twist her ankle, but she spun around to the direction he was twisting, doing some flips, breaking free!

"And why the hell not? Is it because that's selfish? Well I guess I'm the most selfish man ever!" He then blocked her next punch and countered with multiple rapid strikes to her chest!

"You still have me who cares! Your friend!"

"BULLSHIT!"

"It's not!" That's when both grabbed each other's shoulders and slammed their foreheads together! Knocking both out! As Cruise entered unconsciousness, her thoughts were... 'Dammit...if only...if only I wasn't so scared of confessing...then maybe you wouldn't be so miserable..."

"W...What?"

'Wait...did I say that out loud?'

Both now lay in the rain unconscious.

(Later)

Both woke up in Cruise's home, on chairs.

"Good, you're both awake." Said Grace.

Both scowled and turned away from each other.

"Uh...Cruise, I believe you blurted something out loud that you probably meant to think inside your head." Said Grace.

"I don't know what you mean."

Then Grace pulled out her phone and played it.

"Dammit...if only...if only I wasn't so scared of confessing...then maybe you wouldn't be so miserable..."

"Crap..."

"How long have you had this crush on me?"

"...since we started our rivalry. You were the only guy who gave me a challenge."

He looked at her with wide eyes.

"Thinking about it, you guys are kinda perfect for each other, a jackass, and the one who punishes said jackass. You're both real tough so um...the bed might break if you do it. You've both known each other for a long time." Said Grace.

"Not happening." Said Benson.

"What!? Why not?" Said Grace.

"Yeah, I'll actually be loyal to you."

"After all the busted noses you gave me?"

"Dude, I didn't smack you for nothing, you either lost a competition to me, or you were being a jerk, most likely being a jerk."

"It still hurt!"

"Maybe Cruise should kiss it to make it all better." Dana joked.

"We're not kids, and I ain't gonna..."

"There's really nothing I can do to make you love me?"

'Crap, puppy dog eyes, don't fall for them Ben. She doesn't deserve you Ben. Start dating her and you'll get hit even more Ben! Ben...ben...benefits...friends with benefits...could that work?' He thought.

"...well Benson?"

"Er...let's do some baby steps, and on my terms!"

"What are your terms?"

"We start as friends with benefits, I don't feel that way about you. The least I can do is let you touch me."

"Fine, but I'll show you my love, and you'll fall for me, within a year." She then hugged him.

"Getting cocky aren't ya?"

"You know I'll always win, right?"

Benson rolled his eyes. "Whatever, now can I go home?"

"No, since we're friends with benefits, may as well break each other in, right?"

"I suppose." Then Cruise started dragging Benson to her room.

"Bye guys." Said Dana before picking up Grace and leaving.

Sounds of passionate moans and the bed breaking from thier rough sex were heard that night.


	4. Chapter 4

List of oneshots part 4

chapter 4

Yui and Omni have a special museum involving time travel.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

-Outside the omniverse-

Yui and Omni sighed while watching some tv...with Omni watching a show called _Xavier Riddle and the Secret Museum_, although Yui was so confused until Omni turned the channel.

"Welp...kids shows are weird."

"As weird as a show about alien gemstones that can do tons of cool stuff and make the fusion dance look pointless?"

"Well almost weird." He said while turning on _Totally Spies_. "Yep, at least we don't need to bug anyone today...but it's SO boring."

"Join the club." Yui said while eating some popcorn.

"Maybe make...no we did monsters. Um...no, no, no, not tempted…" Omni muttered while trying to come up with an idea.

"We could always pick one at random. Like putting names up on a dart board and do whatever the dart hits."

"Why not." He shrugged while summoning a large wheel with a naked Sasuke on it and several pictures on different parts of his body. "We use him and whatever hits we will do, plus he turns into a girl if we hit his junk."

"Hey, what's going on?!"

"I'm game." Yui said as Omni pulled out a large golden spear.

"You might want to stand back Yui."

"Aw, but that spoils the fun." He huffed while moving back.

The wheel began to spin as fast as a star before Omni threw the spear at the wheel.

SQUISH

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

The wheel stopped while it was revealed to be in Sasuke's groin.

Omni looked at the paper and saw the words '_Time Museum_'. "..."

"Welp, no more little Uchihas for him."

"Ah…" 'She' gasped while Omni walked over to Yui.

"What does it say?"

"Time museum."

"Then that's what we do." Yui said before asking. "What kind exactly?"

"Historical." Omni said before snapping his fingers and caused them to appear in a random city. "Ok, first...where should we place it and who should we 'sucker' in as hired help?"

"Us duh."

"Wait what?! Us?!"

"Oh come now, it's time travel. Do you really want us to hire minimum wage teens who stare at their phones all day or interns who will probably break something?"

"True." He muttered.

"Then let's build this place."

(About a month later)

"Well Omni, what do you think?" Yui asked while Omni looked at a large building with giant lions next to a set of glass doors.

"It's nice, but I still think we should call it _The Museum of Historical Analyst_."

"And I say we should call it _The Museum of Sexural History_." remarked Yui crossing his arms. "Who else can say they learned what position Abe Lincoln did it back in the 1800s?"

"Or they could just learn the Kama Sutra and be done with it."

"Oh come now, who reads anymore?"

"Everyone." Omni deadpanned as they walked inside the building and sat at the reception table. "Anyway, in ten minutes our first customers will be showing up. So no introducing them to mammoth sex."

"Hey, it's not my fault it's so underrated." Yui huffed while looking at the doors.

Only to see a group of teens walking in.

Omni looked at his pocket watch. "Ok, these aren't the first customers."

"What do you mean?"

"The first customers should've been an old man and his grandson, not a group of teens."

"Wait, you predicted who was gonna be here?"

"Time god remember?" He deadpanned as the teens walked towards them.

"Hey Jap."

Omni frowned at that. "Don't even say that here fool or I'm kicking you out."

"What? Can't take a joke?" remarked the teen who was white with short blond hair and wearing a black muscle shirt with ripped blue jeans. "Lighten up."

"Tell him Brad." said a young man with a black mohawk with green eyes and wearing baggy pants and no shirt.

Omni then got punched in the face. "OW!"

"I HATE YOU!" yelled a very muscular man with scars on his face, dark brown eyes and wearing nothing but black pants.

"Feelings mutual pal." remarked Yui.

"Peasant." said a red haired girl with dark pink eyes, a G cup chest and small ass, and wearing a black princess outfit. "Give me a map of this shitty establishment."

And cue Yui getting pissed off. "Who are you calling a peasant?"

"Me, your queen."

A girl with long black hair, blue eyes, and wearing a kimono walked next to the girl while a boy with brown hair and wearing a green shirt and pair of glasses tried to eat the metal pen holder on the table.

"Nom."

Omni groaned while seeing a small boy with red hair and black eyes looked at him while wearing a blue shirt and white pants.

"You deserved it for killing us in WWII."

He frowned and got up. "I'm not Japanese you dumbass. I'm Spanish American!" 'Well not anymore.'

"Look, are you here to visit or make us mad?" asked Yui.

"We are." said Brad.

"Names." Omni said while getting punched again by the muscular man. "OW! Knock it off!"

"You can call me Brad." He growled.

"I'm Jack." The small boy said.

"Alice." The pompous girl huffed.

"Hebert." The boy with the pen holder said.

"Kiki." The kimono wearing girl said while making a muscles.

"Billy Bob." said the mohawk boy.

"So you all came here to see the exhibits, right?" Yui asked.

"Yes Jap." Brad said while Omni's eyes twitched.

"So." He said through a forced smile. "A group-"

PUNCH!

"OW! Stop that!"

"I HATE YOU!"

Omni twitched in rage before grabbing Yui and dragged him to the cafeteria. "**Y.U.I. I HATE humanity now!**"

"Once again, join the club." Yui said before seeing Omni's eyes glowing yellow, indicating he is about to enter his berserker mode.

"**I need to kill them-**"

"Calm down."

"**HOW?!**"

"Look, they're just a bunch of stupid kids. You get them all the time. You just need to remember that we could kill them if need be, but we need to be the bigger men and bare with it for now."

"**It's not just that! Those brats are nothing but racist idiots!**" He growled. "**And one keeps punching me in the face!**"

"They're not that bad."

Omni made a portal and showed them the teens...trying to destroy or steal the artifacts from the _Knights Galleries_.

"Ok, so they ARE that bad." Yui said as he saw the carnage.

Omni deadpanned at him while calming down slightly. "We need to get rid of them."

"But they are visitors, we can't just kill them or something."

Both grumbled while taking a seat.

"Besides, if we just slaughter them, then we're no better than common serial killers."

Omni grumbled while hearing a loud crash in the distance. "And I can't send them back in time, it might cause MORE problems with the time space continuum. And I'm still fixing Sutinav's corruption."

Yui then got a good idea. "What if we could?"

"Well it's possible but...we would have to make sure the locations and time periods were at the point of complete chaos, so they wouldn't have time to cause ANY destruction to the timeline."

"Then I say we show them just what this museum was made for." Yui said while Omni smirked.

"He he he." He chuckled.

(At the fossil exhibit)

The gang kept on stealing fossils as Omni and Yui appeared at the entrance and blew a fog horn at them.

"Attention group! It's time to start the tour." smiled Yui with a flag.

And cue Brad punching Yui in the face.

"GAH!"

"I HATE YOU!"

Omni frowned while looking at Alice, Jack, Herbert, Billy Bob, and Kiki with a false smile. "Now kids, do you know what kind of museum this is? And no, do NOT say anything racist."

"A boring one." said Alice.

"...no." Omni sweatdropped before looking around. "This is a time museum."

"Jap trick." said Billy Bob.

"No, and do that one more time and I'm calling the cops."

"Whatever, Jap."

"Moving on!" spoke up Yui quickly.

Omni pointed down the hall. "Our first stop is the _Hall of Witchcraft_ wing. Follow us."

All of them followed the two deities.

(Later)

-Hall of Witchcraft-

They all entered the room while it was covered in memorabilia of torture devices, rare documents from the Spanish Inquisition, and wax models of watches from history.

"Welcome to the _Hall of Witchcraft_, there you can see all the horrible and tragic methods used on innocent people during the age of 'un enlightenment' as I call it." Omni smiled.

"Here is where all manner of reminders during the witch era is. From torture, how they would find out who was a witch, and what befell them."

"Bah, how drool." Alice scoffed as Herbert started to taste one of the wax sculptures.

"Nom."

"You say that now." Omni said. "But back when your phones were just an idea, many people died from witch persecutions, werewolf persecutions, normal persecutions, and mob mentality."

"Several of which included burning, hanging, drowning, stoning, all sorts of stuff to deal with sinful witches in their eyes." Yui said as they made it to a wax reconstruction of Abigail Williams.

"And this is Abigail Williams, the first legible case of witchcraft in Salem, although she was the victim, she also caused the Salem Witch Hunts to occur. A total of twenty five people died during this event with one being crushed to death by stones."

"Boring." Kiki yawned.

Omni frowned while whispering to Yui. "Point them to the mural of Mary Walcott's trial, the one behind you." He then winked at him.

"If you'll look behind me, you will see a mural based on Mary Walcott's trial."

They turned and saw a scene where a hysterical woman was on the ground as the trial was going on.

Omni looked around before subtly kicking Alice into it.

(Elsewhere)

-Salem, Massachusetts, March 1692-

And caused the girl to crash land into the local courthouse, just after they sentenced a person to be hanged and dragged out of the room.

"OW!"

"And I will now close this-"

"Wait! Who is this young girl?" said one of the people as John Hathorne and Jonathan Corwin raised an eyebrow on the girl's attire.

"Ow…" she looked up. "Pick me up you peasants!"

"Watch your tongue girl?" frowned the judge. "Who are you? Where did you come from? Where did you get such an...obscene garb?"

"Shut up pig!" Alice snapped. "I'm your queen and I demand assistance!"

Hathorne frowned while Corwin scowled. "Hold your tongue."

"Help me to my feet or else!" Alice snapped as the jury looked flabbergasted.

"Silence!" bellowed the judge banging the gavel. "You will be silent or so help me, you will be punished girl!"

"Like you could you old fart! Now help your queen or I shall report you to the police!"

Corwin whispered into Hathorne's ear. "She speaks strange words, perhaps thou should search her for witch marks."

"Agreed. Men. Hold her, we shall look for any witch marks she may bare."

Alice blinked before getting restrained as some of the people shaved her hair.

(A bit later)

She blushed while she was naked and shaved of all bodily hair, even the pubes, as they looked for a witch's mark.

Only to find a giant wart on the tip of her butt crack.

"Beware!" One of the villagers screamed. "Old Scratch has given this woman the kiss of heresy!"

"She's a witch!"

"Hang her!"

Alice went wide-eyed as she was dragged away.

(Later)

And placed right near a pile of ash tree logs as she was tired to a post.

"For the crime of witchcraft and heresy, you are sentenced by the people of Salem to death." spoke Hathorne. "Any last words?"

"You can't do this to me! In the queen of the world!"

"Blasphemy!"

"She claims she is God himself!"

"End her!"

Hathorne lowered the torch and set it ablaze as Alice was slowly yet painfully burned to death.

(Elsewhere)

Omni smiled as Yui finished showing the group a wax figure of a witch getting burned on a stake.

"And keep in mind. They were awake throughout the entire ordeal and felt it all."

PUNCH!

"I HATE ART!" Brad yelled while punching the statue's head off.

"You're paying for that."

"What's next black Jap?" asked Billy Bob.

And cue Yui getting very mad.

"What is with you? Do you just see every person as japanese?"

"Yes."

Omni and Yui sweatdropped at this.

"The next stop is the _Napoleon Wing_."

"And no we don't mean _Napoleon Dynamite_, gosh!"

Brad punched Omni in the face. "DON'T DISS PERFECTION!"

'Oh I'm going to enjoy this tour.' Yui thought with a smirk.

(Later)

-Napoleon Wing-

The group made it into a room full of Napoleonic War memorabilia, including a painting of said emperor in the center of the room.

"And here we have said general, who is NOT a midget."

"And was Emperor of France from 1804 to 1814, which was a good thing for the people, not the best for everyone else in europe." Omni said. "Also contrary to popular belief, he was average height."

"All those portraits of him being average? Yeah those were true, the myths of him being tiny were propaganda made up by his enemies." spoke Yui.

"Jap trick." frowned Billy Bob.

Omni frowned before seeing Brad getting ready to punch him, only to duck as he hit Yui's shoulder.

"I HATE HISTORY!"

"And yet you came to a museum, smart." remarked Yui with annoyance. "If you hate it, why come here?"

"SHUT UP!"

Omni whispered to Yui. "Get him close to the statue of Napoleon, it's time to get rid of this asshole."

"Well then if you hate it, you won't care taking a close up look of this statue? Or maybe you don't have the balls."

Omni sweatdropped before seeing Brad and then looked at Jack. "Wait." He walked over and saw a small bra sticking out. "Huh, a girl. Weird."

"Hey!"

He moved back. "Sorry, anyway. Overhere is a life sized statue of Napoleon, created a century after his death. Look at the bronze hat and horse." 'Must be a flub in time. I thought she was a guy.'

They looked while Brad looked pissed off and ran to destroy the statue.

"Stupid statue!" He yelled while charging towards it and went through it.

(Elsewhere)

-Waterloo, Belgium, June 18, 1815-

And went right into a tent full of Napoleonic soldiers and generals as he actually punched a guy in the balls.

"GAH!"

"SCREW YOU!"

"Ohhh….sacrebleu…." groaned the man holding his groin before falling down while the others jumped at attention and aimed their rifles at him.

Brad looked around and blinked. "Eh?"

"Who are you? A spy from Russia?" One said while looking like a veteran of war.

"No!" He punched a table in half. "Fuck you fuckers!"

One soldier whispered to the other. "Looks like a madman."

"Yeah, but with bad hair and an orangutan's muscular cousin."

"You calling me a monkey you fucktard?! I'll kick your ass too!"

The men aimed before a figure walked in.

"At ease." He said while it was revealed to be Napoleon himself. "Don't waste your weapons before the battle."

"Yes my emperor." They said while at ease.

But for Brad, he just saw someone stupid and looked like a boring painting. And that made him angry.

"Now, who are you boy?"

"None of your business asshole."

"What? You dare address me as a lowly mule?" He frowned. "I am Emperor of the French, the King of Italy, and-"

"You are a dwarf."

He frowned while looking miffed and slightly confused. "What?"

"You heard me, midget."

Napoleon narrowed his eyes. "You sound like those fools who feel they could defeat me. Are you one of their lowly men sent here to try and assassinate me?"

"Ha! I would just kick your ass!"

Napoleon frowned before looking at his men. "Hand me my pistol."

"Yes my emperor." one of the generals handed him a pistol and stepped back in line.

Brad blinked before seeing the pistol near his forehead.

BANG!

Only for him to be shot dead and fell to the ground in a bloody mess.

"Leave him in the fields, stripped of his clothes, and burn the rest. We will commence with the battle at dawn." He said while walking out of the tent.

"Yes our emperor."

(Back at the museum)

Omni and Yui watched as the brats looked at the statue in confusion.

"Is this a trick?" Kiki asked with a frown as Herbert tried to eat the bronze horse's tail.

"Nom nom."

"Whatever do you mean?"

"He went through the statue like a ghostly Jap!" Billy Bob frowned.

"One more time." Omni said while eye twitching. "And you might sleep in a cell tonight, with pedophiles and child molesters."

Yui looked at Omni in shock.

"What? It might happen." 'Plus I'm almost ready to snap.'

"Dude calm down. We're not Hitler you know."

He sighed. "Ok class, it's time to see the _Hall of Wrestling_, so single file please."

"Just tell us where Brad is!" Kiki snapped.

"He's at the end of the tour, now let's get going."

"Otherwise you might get lost." smirked Yui.

They grumbled before following them.

(Later)

-Hall of Wrestling-

And walked into a room full of ancient forms of wrestling, from greek to roman, along with statues of various people that helped found the sport.

"Ok, on your left is an ancient clay pot with the first depiction of greek wrestling. It was a deadly sport of the ancient Olympics and men with birthday suits only." Omni said pointing to said object.

"Which lead to some raunchy stuff. After all, it was during this time, it was normal for a grown man to bone a younger man." smirked Yui.

"And die." Omni added before showing a picture of a sumo wrestler. "This is a sumo, but did you know the sport actually predates 1185 AD? It's true and it was a festival for a ritualistic rain dance. But now it's just a way to get rid of oni and the like."

Yui looked slightly surprised at this while seeing Herbert eating a painting of a roman gladiator wrestling a bear.

"Nom nom."

"Tell him to stop." both deities deadpanned in annoyance as Kiki scoffed.

"This sacred art is tainted by japanese filth."

"Do it or I'll feed you to him."

"Like you could beat me, I won gold trophies for the sport." she scoffed while Yui looked annoyed, again. "Also can we go to another part of the room, this statue is making me sick."

"Yui." Omni whispered. "Remember the plan for her."

He grumbled while looking ready to slap the girl.

"Also, if she calls anime or hentai stupid you can be forceful." He smirked evilly under his hood.

"Oh I will."

Omni nodded before pointing to a silk screen with a sumo battle on it. "Please look upon this, a rare artifact from the year 720 AD, which depicts an event during 27 BC, where the ancestor of the sumos named Nomi-no-Sukune fought and killed the man to the left, named Taima-no-Kuehaya, under the direct orders of Emperor Suinin. Take a look at how he crushed the man's chest with only one palm, a feat of training and power."

"And fat." Kiki said sarcastically.

He deadpanned while Yui walked behind her and pulled out a wasp from his sleeve before placing it on her back.

"Oh my god! Poison wasp!"

She turned and screamed while running around in fear, only to hit the screen and vanished.

(Elsewhere)

-Unknown location, Japan, 27 BC-

Only to appear in a temple of wood while finding herself alone and in the dark.

"AHHHHH!" she screamed as the wasp vanished in a hole under the floorboards. "WASP!"

CRASH!

Only for her to hit a wall, head first.

"OW!" she yelled. She held the spot and hissed in pain. "That hurt!"

That was when she noticed the doors being opened and revealed several robed monks and a lordly man in a fancy kimono.

He looked at the monks with a raised eyebrow. "So this is the warrior for my contest? But it's a woman and she is not even trained."

"Yes my lord." the head monk bowed. "But even a woman can be trained to cook, thus, your heavenly grace, we shall train this woman in the art of skriking one another."

Kiki blinked while very confused as she heard japanese but could understand it perfectly.

The man walked away. "Do as you see fit, but bring me a warrior by the end of the month. The mortals are in need of good entertainment."

"Yes Emperor Suinin." the monks bowed at once.

"Hey, what's going on here?" She asked while the monks walked towards her and dragged her away. "Hey!"

(A bit later)

She blinked while appearing in a fancy room with lots of food while the monks took off her clothes and placed a loincloth around her hips.

"First art, the consumption of food for the increase of bodily form." one monk said. "This will be your training for the next two weeks, so don't stop or we shall cast you down the mountain side like a wicked tengu."

"What? Forget it, let me out of here!" she growled before seeing the monks walking away and locked the gates from the outside. "HEY!"

GROWL!

Kiki heard her stomach growl like a lion while feeling very claustrophobic. She then saw a statue of an oni, eyeing her with both hunger and a weird sense of oblivion that started to affect her memory. She gulped and looked at the food while drooling a little. 'That does look nice.'

The scent of meat overwhelmed her while the eyes turned her brain into a useless mush, her head slowly going mad with hunger and for a sense of self. All the while chanting was heard from outside, which seemed to be prays for a kami and for a perfect warrior.

This in turn, made Kiki's will power falter and break from the stress as her past life began to vanish, slowly but surely like a sieve.

'What was I doing...food? Yum.' she thought before walking over and took a bite of deer brains.

(One month later)

The crowd of people went muttered to themselves while they waited for the ritual to begin as the emperor sat in a gold laced chair.

He looked around before seeing a monk signaling someone on the left side of the field.

The ground shook as Kiki walked to the field, but her body was now that of a 900 pound woman with thick legs and arms, small bits of muscles on her arms and legs, with her hair in a bun, wearing nothing to hold her Q cup chest back as a loincloth was wrapped around her hips, as her eyes were now glossed and dulled of life.

The emperor smiled before signaling a monk.

"From the east, the mysterious warrior of the kami, the great warrior, Nomi-no-Sukune!"

She moaned while smiling a little as her thoughts turned to one thing. 'Food.'

(Back at the museum)

Yui chuckled while showing the group of bad teens a statue of a sumo that looked VERY similar to Kiki, if she bulked up like a Snorlax.

"Where's Kiki?" asked Jack with a frown as she looked around the room, Herbert eating Omni's cloak.

"Nom."

"Get off my cloak!"

"Try seeing if he'll eat dirt from the floor."

Omni frowned before pushing him off. "Children, it's time to visit the _Atomic Age Gallery_. Please proceed with a calm, orderly line-"

"Where is Kiki?!" Jack yelled.

"She's at the end of the tour, Jackline-"

"It's Jackie, I mean Jack you asshole!"

'Ok, at least I got her name.' He thought while Billy Bob placed a sticky note on his back that read '_Jap sucks cock_'. "So let's-"

Yui grabbed the note and looked annoyed now. "Seriously? If you wanna be Japanese so much, then get hit by a car and pray you get reborn as one."

"Whatever Jap." He waved off while Jack nodded in agreement.

Both deities frowned before walking away.

(Elsewhere)

-Atomic Age Gallery-

And showed the teens a room covered in Atomic Age based memorabilia, several nuclear warheads and a replica of a Hydrogen Bomb.

"Welcome to the Atomic Age." Omni said. "While I'm not one for modern history, I do know that in this time the advancement in atomic energy was in full swing and allowed for humanity to create movies, books, and other stuff that portrays atomic power as good for the environment."

"But of course it can really cause horrible and deadly radiation burns and poisonings, as shown by the bombing of Hiroshima in WWII."

"And the testing in the pacific. At least one atole got turned into a wasteland from a test. Also helped create Godzilla." Omni said while pointing to a 1959 model of Godzilla, only for Jack to laugh with sadistic glee. "What? Godzilla's origin story was interesting and tragic."

"They deserved it all."

"...eh? But Godzilla was fictional." 'In this dimension that is.'

"I mean those dirty Japs. Hope they suffered."

"Ok, did your mom get raped by a Japanese guy or what?" asked Yui. "I wanna know just WHY you're a racist towards them."

"It's nothing personal." Jack shrugged. "They're just inferior and the reason WWII existed."

"No." Omni deadpanned. "Japan was just expanding its borders, amorality that is. Besides it was Nazi German that caused the war after a depression and WWI affecting their economy."

"That's a load of propaganda they want you to believe."

"All Jap tricks." Billy Bob agreed while Omni facepalmed.

'A year of Nazi Propganda classes in college...wasted on idiots.' He thought while Yui pointed to 'Little Boy' with a smirk. 'I hope this doesn't lead to anything bad...like that Marvel timeline with the Hulk powered victims of said atomic bombs...ugh.' "Now, look at the model of 'Little Boy', the bomb that hit Hiroshima and lead to the total destruction of an entire city."

They looked while Yui pulled out a snake and placed it in Jack's bra.

"AHHHH!" She screamed as the snake revealed itself to be a python, that began to slither around her shirt and bra.

"Hisssss." It hissed while Jack tried to jump around the replica like a crazed idiot.

She kept on jumping before Yui tripped her into the replica.

(Elsewhere)

-Hiroshima, Japan, August 6, 1945 AD-

And appeared in the middle of a bustling city while the python slithered away and vanished in an instant.

"Gross! Stupid snake!" she yelled before noticing where she was and was about to say something when she heard the sound of turbines in the air and looked up.

Only to see a Superfortress bomber in the sky, looming towards the city before something dropped from it and straight towards her.

WOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHH!

"AHHHHHHH!" she screamed before-

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

It exploded in her face as the world stopped and the age of atoms began, with the flames of destruction itself.

(Back at the museum)

Omni looked at the two boys before saying. "Any questions about the Atomic Age?"

"Are we going to Hawaii?" Herbert asked while eating a poster of an atomic explosion.

"No." Yui said while the boy looked sad.

"Aw, but I want Hawaii."

Omni looked lost. "Why?"

"I want to vacation there, not go to a dull museum."

This caused both deities to growl as they actually worked hard making the museum, a whole month of planning and paperwork to get this off the ground and...he called it dull. DULL! A time museum!

"Have you learned a single thing here?"

"No." He said while eating part of the wall. "Nom."

Omni facepalmed at this.

"Well this next exhibit is sure to change your mind."

"Ok kids." Omni smiled falsely. "Come along to the _Roman Expedition Hall_, chop chop!"

"Nom nom." Herbert chomped on a fire extinguisher while breaking it in half.

'Ew.'

(Elsewhere)

-Roman Expedition Hall-

Yui pointed to the hall full of roman artifacts as well as a large volcano and several chariots hanging from the ceiling as the two teens looked mildly interested, but still either ate the exhibits or tried to pickpocket some relics. "Here we have a hall showcasing a rather war focused people, so much so that to be considered a man you had to kill a slave, and you had to do it when you were still a child."

"And while that was Spartan." Omni clarified. "Roman culture was more violent than any other society in the western hemisphere, with so much violence and disregard for life that even the colosseum and its fights were bloody, but contrary to popular belief, no one died from those games. It was just a normal sport that killed so many animals and people, that lions and tigers don't exist in the Mediterranean anymore."

"Boring."

"So you say now." Omni deadpanned while pointing to a model of Vesuvius. "But this mountain was so powerful when it erupted that entire cities were wiped off the map for centuries, like Herculaneum."

"And-"

"It was also so deadly that the Pyroclastic Flow caused brains to boil and skulls to explode upon contact." Omni interrupted Yui with enthusiasm. "Also the person's skin melted off, like the surface of the sun-"

BOP!

"OW!" he yelled as Yui bopped him on the head.

"If you wanna get that excited, go teach."

"Tried." he whispered to him. "But the last time Marisa told me to teach at the ZOO, I almost caused an eruption in the classroom. All because an Ifirit wanted to turn into Nora's reincarnation, and not the good kind either."

"Yikes."

Omni nodded as Herbert started to eat the fake lava.

"Nom nom."

"Please stop that." Both deities frowned while getting annoyed at his gluttony.

He shook his head no and continued to eat the lava.

'How has he not gotten indigestion?' Yui thought before getting an idea. "Hey kid, the inside is full of chocolate."

"Ew, I have pika. I hate normal food." Herbert said in disgust.

Yui deadpanned hearing that logical answer of stupidity. 'Well that explains things.'

"Oi." Omni deadpanned. "The inside is actually made of fiberglass and tar, go and get it."

And cue him crawling up the model like a mountain goat, making Yui facepalm harder.

"Now he's a monkey."

Herbert went up into the volcano before falling inside.

(Elsewhere)

-Pompeii, Italy, August 24, 79 AD-

And landed in the middle of a bustling roman city full of people, including slaves making dye utilizing urine and their own feet in large baths. "Huh?"

He looked around before seeing some guy's toga and began to eat it.

"Hey!"

"Nom nom!"

"In the name of Jupiter, stop that!"

"Nom nom."

He glared before slapping him away and stormed off to get the centurions.

"Hawaii is weird." he muttered before getting up and started walking in a random direction.

All the while not seeing the dark clouds in the sky or the fact the earth began to shake.

'Need food.' He thought before seeing some gold coins on a stand and started eating them like candy. "Nom nom."

"Hey! Don't eat that!" yelled a very angry woman of the stand. "That's my money!"

"It tastes bland."

"Then stop eating-"

BOOOOOOOM!

And cue the local mountain exploding as a deadly cloud of dust and rock billowed into the sky and caused a thunderstorm to occur.

But this was nothing to Herbert as he didn't notice that the world was about to change, just what to eat before taking a swim in the pacific.

(Later)

He groaned while full of marble and silver coins as the town got covered in pumice, obsidian, toxic gas and other deadly substances that the mountain spewed from the very core of the island. "Burp...that was a good meal."

That was when he started to choke and cough out blood like a fountain. He could barely move due to the weight and tried to cover his mouth.

"Ah...ah…" he got out before something worse came to fruition.

RUMBLE!

A giant cloud of superheated gas and rock went rolling down the mountain side and towards the town, burning and boiling everything it touched.

And it was heading towards Herbert.

"Ahhhhhh!"

WOOOOOSH!

The cloud swept over him as his brain was turned to gas, his organs evaporated and his body exploded upon contact as he didn't even have a thought left in his now evaporated mind.

(Back at the museum)

Omni chuckled while giving Yui a low high five for his part in the plan. "One more left Yui."

"This ones gonna be good."

He nodded before whistling to Billy Bob. "Yo, come here. We have one more exhibit hall to visit."

"Fuck off Jap!"

He frowned. "You better come to the exhibit hall, before we call the cops on your ass."

"And trust me, that's the good and easy way out."

He frowned. "You better be or I'm calling immigration and sending you back to your island."

That got both deities pissed off while pushing him out of the room.

(Later)

-Hall of Japanese History-

And brought him to a room covered in japanese culture, art, history and other memorabilia as Yui smirked at his reaction.

"This here is a spot most would drool over."

"The _Hall of Japanese History_, where Japan's history is represented in a more positive way." Omni said while pointing to some yokai pictures. "Especially yokai." 'If he says anything stupid, I'm going to go Sutinav right now.'

"Yo-what?"

"Yokai, demons essentially."

"Actually kami that aren't worshipped." Omni clarifies. "Gaijin Goomba talked all about them. A good watch really."

"More Jap tricks." Billy Bob frowned. "And all part of the conspiracy!"

"What conspiracy?"

"The conspiracy where the Japs rule the world!"

Omni whispered to Yui. "He's thinking the same logic as anti semitists, believing the hebrews controlled the governments and made people poor. A very stupid ideology really."

Yui deadpanned. "This is why the old ways were better, straightened kids out."

"Or just throw him to a tiger and call it square." Omni whispered before pointing to an image of a burning temple. "This is Ishiyama Hongan-ji, a fortress for the Ikkō-ikki, warrior monks that opposed the samurais during the Sengoku period. Made in 1496, it was the location of Oda Nobunage's campaign to defeat them. He failed once, but afterwards burnt the place to the ground and burnt it to the ground, but after eleven years of siege warfare. The longest in Japan's history."

Yui blinked while seeing Billy Bob kicking several clay and plastic statues of both ancient warriors and some anime figures, one of which was….

SMASH!

The now destroyed character of Suu, the actual foundation point of Yui's daughter Cynthia.

"The fuck did you just do?!"

"I'm destroying Jap culture." Billy Bob said coldly before smashing Suu's face with his shoe and grinding it on the rug. "It's all part of the American way."

SNAP!

Billy Bob then walked over and grabbed a figurine of Sona from Megaman Star Force and looked at them, with Omni starting to panic. "Time to kill all Jap culture! Including this whore!"

'He wouldn't!' Omni thought as he had some memories with that character, which included having a summon character of her in his days as Vanitus, which also kept him sane during his lonely days in the void.

SNAP!

Omni's eyes went into his skull as the figurine's head was snapped and twisted all the way behind her back.

"Well retard, you're fucked." spoke Yui in a cold tone.

"Ha! You should be thanking me, Japs are a disease and will be purged by the true americans!"

Omni twitched in anger while glitches began to form around his eyes as he walked up to Billy Bob and started to choke him. "**THAT'S TI! YOU LLAHS DIE!**"

"GAH!"

"We warned you ya little shit." frowned Yui. "Your mindset is something that needs to be shocked back to reality, and we have just the way."

He gasped for air before seeing Omni walking to the image as it started to move with flames licking the sides like actual fire.

"**You. Llahs. Suffer. A. Dnasuoht. Deaths. Yb. Our. Sdnah!**" Omni growled while dangling him across the front of the image, flames starting to heat the air and increase the temperature to about three degrees per second.

"Hope you like barbeque, you're about to be part of one." laughed Yui.

Billy Bob got out a bird before getting thrown into the image.

(Elsewhere)

-Osaka, Japan, Azuchi-Momoyama Period, August 1580 AD-

And landed in a temple that was in the thongs of war as burning arrows and flames lick the walls and floor, with monks running to escape the fortress or to try and stop the now growing inferno.

"Hurry! Get the water!"

"We ran out!"

"By the lord Buddha! We're doomed!"

"We must hold out, the fate of our monastery is at stake!"

"The Demon King of the Sixth Heaven will not prevail!"

Billy Bob got up and dusted himself off while wiping sweat from his forehead from the horrible heat. "Japs? Here? What's going on?"

That was when the flames started to catch onto his hair and clothes, arrows and gun fire wizzing above his head and caused more damage to the monastery.

"Ah! My hair!" he screamed trying to pat it down, which failed.

That was when the fire started to burn his skin as he was set ablaze.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" He screamed while arrows and bullets began to litter his body like a practice dummy. He fell down and cried out in pain. "AAAAAAAA-"

WISH!

THRUMP!

And cue an arrow hitting him between the eyes, killing him instantly as the flames turned him into a charred corpse.

(Back at the museum)

Omni panted while trying to calm down, the glitches still covering his eyes and causing time and space to warp and spasm like crazy.

"Easy there Omni, breath, breath."

"Ah….ah…." He panted before the glitches vanished. "Ah...I'm fine. I'm fine. Just, surprised I could still do that after you and Jack blasted 'him' out of me."

"Well look on the bright side, we helped decrease the number of idiots in this world."

"True." he sighed. "We did, and thanks to Jack's robots that I 'borrowed', we can clean and fix the museum before the next tour." 'Hopefully Jack NEVER finds out!'

"And this one will hopefully have people that aren't one dimension idiots and jackasses."

"Agreed." he said while extending his left hand out. "And hopefully Marisa comes over and visits...which reminds me. Tell Jack that we still have a 'date' to do with him and your wife."

"Why?"

"Because I want to visit a special library. Other than that, spoilers~" He smiled while sounding like Marisa for a second, creeping Yui out.

'I swear if Marisa is roleplaying as Omni, I'm gonna hurl.'

"Let's shake and get back to the information booth."

He did so while they took a long ten minutes of the world's time to do this.

(Back at the booth)

"Ok." Omni said while looking at a pocketwatch. "The next group will arrive in….five seconds."

"Convenient."

And cue a group of...teens that looked kinda foul and disgusting in nature walked in while one of them spat on the floor.

"..." Omni looked at Yui. "Don't look at me, I'm a time god, not a luck god."

Yui smirked while looking evil.

"What?"

"Seems like we'll have plenty more exhibits to show these 'lovely' folks."

Omni blinked before smirking. "For once, we can agree on that. So want to 'introduce' us to our 'guests'?"

Yui nodded as both looked to the group, a shadow enveloping them as the exhibits turned and looked at the group, the letters _The Museum of Historical Analyst_ appeared from the darkness as glowing eyes formed while the title changed to _The Museum of Historical Retribution_.


	5. Chapter 5

List of oneshots part 4

chapter 5

Numerous monster girls get their own mail order grooms.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

We find ourselves zooming towards what looked like some kind of warehouse.

A man was walking around inside. "H-hello? I-I heard you could h-help me with m-my research?"

"Yes, walk into the spotlight, so I can get a good look at you."

"You know what, I'll just go find a different source to complete m-" As he turned around, a man in a mask knocked him out with a chloroform spray! "Oooh..."

"I hate when they do that, I'm running low on the stuff."

"Don't worry Jimmy, we got all 10 men ready for shipping."

"Good point."

"And how's about this? I'll buy you another can."

"Fine."

"Good. Now you do the shipping, I'll do the driving."

"Works for me."

The men in black then donned delivery uniforms before loading the unconscious man into a box and then into a delivery truck, accompanied by 9 more boxes.

Later, they stop at an apartment building. The man then loaded the boxes into a dolly, and made his way in.

"Okay, apartments 101, 204, 207, 306, 308, 401, 405, 408, 503 and 507." Said the man, reading off a list. "That's all of them." Then the man loaded the dolly into the truck and off they went. "I hope the ladies love their new mail order grooms."

(Next day)

In room 101, the box groaned, a man in a blue suit and grey tie wakes up to find himself in a box.

"WHAT THE HELL!?" He shrieked! "Oh god! Let me out! No, the air is running out, I'm gonna die in here!" He then started scratching the top of the box! "I don't wanna die like this! I don't wanna die period!"

That's when a knife cut through the top! He ducked his head down as it sliced! After it got to the end, he pushed through! "Oh thank god! Free...dom?" He looked around and found himself in some apartment. "Huh...nice place..."

"Thank you!" Said a girl who suddenly hugged him from behind.

"AH!" He screamed! "Who the hell are you!?"

"I'm Kagura, and you're Damien Hummer, my mail order groom."

"Mail order groom!?" He shouted. "Aaah, lemme go, I don't consent! Also how do you know my name?"

"The website keeps info on all miserable men, like your overwhelming anxiousness."

"I have a good reason to be anxious! You would too if you were stuck in a tight, small, and dark box!"

"But now you're free, and married to me." Then she let go.

"What the hell can you do that'll make me l-" Then when he turned around..."What the fuck!?"

The girl before her wore red and pink dress and skirt. Her chest was C Cup and she had black hair tied in pigtails. The most surprising thing about her was her head,she had a big shrine bell for a head!

"What the hell is wrong with your head?!"

"Huh? I'm a Suzuhiko Hime, that's japanese for Bell Princess."

"Oh crap, a monster girl."

"Oh calm down." Then she started shaking her head left and right. This caused a ringing sound to come which hit the guy instantly. "You love bells don't you? Aren't they just calming?"

"I...well...actually yeah." He stopped spazzing out and then stepped out of the box and on the living room carpet.

"So, wanna go to the park for our date, husband?"

"Uh...might wanna explain to me just how this all happened."

"Okay, so I ordered you on this website that only very lonely monster girls like me are allowed to know about."

"Couldn't try a dating site?"

"Those just make men run when they learn their date is a monster girl."

'I wonder why.'

Then she grabbed his hands. "So please? Please just let this happen? You'll have a woman who can calm you when things get too stressful."

"But...isn't this kind of thing illegal?"

"Do you really wanna go back to the bad side of town filled with all the gang violence? Where you might get shot by a stray bullet?"

"No!"

"Then stay here with me."

"Fair enough."

"Woohoo! Let's go Damien, the park's just across the street." She said before grabbing a frisbee."

"Wait Kagura...shouldn't I..." He then blushed. "Kiss the bride?"

"Oh, right." she smiled before leaning out towards him.

He leaned towards her as well. They kissed and then Kagura hugged him.

"Alright, let's go." She then took his hand and off they ran.

Meanwhile in Room 204...

"This is gonna be fun, I'm is gonna scare him, chase him around, and then after he exterts himself, we'll fuck." Thought the Haunted Doll. She had rosey cheeks, green eyes, a blue maid dress, red hair, but no panties or bra, because as it turns out, this spirit possessed a sex doll.

She grinned while grabbing a crowbar and started to open the huge box. With one good hard yank, the top popped off. She then got into position, sitting on a chair and pretending to be a toy. The man she ordered then pops his head out and steps out. "Where am I?" Asked a man with white hair, blue eyes, a green polo shirt, grey camo pants and sneakers. He didn't look where he was going and then knocks over a lamp and it shatters!

"Damn it, not again!"

'No big deal, that fancy custom made lamp was worth 4000 dollars, I can easily replace it.'

"I gotta find my way outta-" then as he turned around he knocked over a vase that shattered on the ground. "Oh crap."

'Okay, that was the only vase of it's kind in existence, never gonna get that back, or the 8000 dollars I paid for it.'

"Why am I here? Where did that guy p-" this time he turned and knocked over a wooden table that shattered the glass top. "Shit."

'Big deal, that was what? 100 bucks? If I wanted, I could've bought a diamond table top.'

"You know, if the people who kidnapped me are watching, take a good look!" He then pulled out the middle finger, pointing it every direction, thinking there was a hidden camera somewhere. "Fuck you!" He shouted, thinking the haunted doll was the hidden camera.

'You're shouting at your wife you jackass!' she thought in annoyance as he turned to the door.

"I'm out of here!" He trips and falls on his back, his face smashing the bare floor. "Impressive indent." The man said.

"Okay that's it, you're an idiot." The doll then jumped from her seat.

"Ah! Monster!" He grabs a stool to defend himself, but he pulled too fast and it slipped out of his hands and flew right through the window!

"Stop breaking stuff!" She then took his hand and led him to the couch. "Sit!" He cooperated and sat down. "Now then, you're gonna stop moving around and breaking my stuff."

"Can I have an explanation..and some cookies?"

"You can eat after I explain your situation."

'Figures.'

"Hello Lando Hart, I'm Lana, I purchased you from a Mail Order Groom website."

"Mail order grooms!?"

"Yes, so reading your profile, you've led quite the sad life. You almost killed a lot of former loved ones with your clumsiness, but don't worry, I can't exactly die, so if you were to say accidentally chop my fingers off when we chop veggies for dinner, I'll be fine."

"Hey! I don't need a wife! I'm living just fine on my own."

"Really? The website showed me your house, love the skylight and the rats."

"Okay so my klutziness has destroyed my home, but I don't need you, I got an awesome job as a museum security guard."

"Oh really? Which museum? I own half of the museums in this city."

"Wait, what? No way!"

"You just destroyed a whole bunch of stuff that was worth 1000's." She replied to him. "Now, the bottom line, I'm rich, and I want you as my husband."

"But why? I might destroy all your stuff."

"If I keep you here, you won't destroy my museums, just...our home...but you get it right?"

"Right...okay...and it's nice to know someone loves me..."

"Besides, look at me." She threw off her clothes and bonnet to reveal her naked figure. Perfectly slim, a huge wide ass and E cups breasts. "Come here and kiss the bride already."

He stared shocked.

"Lando?"

"Oh, huh?"

She giggled. "Come here." Then she led him to her room. But as soon as the door closed, a loud crash was heard! "Dammit, those were the ashes of my human body!"

"Sorry!"

Lana groaned in annoyance.

Meanwhile in room 207, we see a pegasus making excited whinnies as she watched her new husband emerge from the box. This pegasus had a white coat, an icy blue mane and tail, eyes just as blue as her mane. This D cup mare sounded very elegant, but then you see her mane was actually very messy, she was only in her black shirt that showed off her belly button, white panties, and pink fuzzy slippers. She even scratched her butt and armpits occasionally. She could be elegant but she was home and cared nothing about her appearance.

"Ugh...where am I...?" Said a flamboyant voice. The blonde man with combed hair emerged, he wore a pink shirt, had brown eyes, moustache, black pants and tennis shoes on.

"You're in my home, or should I say our home, hubby."

He turned and jumped seeing the woman and looked around. "What do you mean?"

"Hi Hubert, I'm Janette, a pegasus. You're my new mail order groom."

"A pegasus? Disgraceful, look at you, you're a mess. Not graceful like a pegasus should be. Do you have make up, or must I use my make up kit?" He said pulling out a big black box.

"Wow, you're just what I wanted. This is a dream come true."

"Yes, yes, but enough chit chat, to the bathroom!"

"Oooh, anxious to try out your new wife?"

"I never agreed, was just going to give you a makeover, however...I do find your body attractive."

"Good enough for me, we can take a shower together."

Hubert blushed before they walked into the bathroom and started taking each other's clothes off! They then got into the shower and Hubert had his hands all over her.

"Oh yes, I've been needing this. Now jam your dick up my ass!"

"W-when we finish with your makeover!" He blushed even redder. 'I have a feeling you're gonna be insatiable.'

"Aw come on, one little feel of it won't hurt."

"No, if we have sex now, we'll be taking too long in the shower."

"Just the tip?"

"Fine."

"Yes!" she smiled. "You're the best husband!"

Hubert stuck the tip of his hard on up Janette's ass, but then she started shaking her ass! "H-h-h-h-" he moaned. "Hey! I-I said just the tip."

"Aw come oooooon." She then shook her ass even more.

"Gah~" She was making him moan a lot. "Please, I-I-I'll fuck you so hard you'll feel it tomorrow."

"I know, your profile let me know how hectic you are in the sack."

'How did she find out about that?' He thought, while scrubbing Janette behind the ears.

"Those profiles sure are good at keeping tabs on losers."

"Loser?"

"Yeah, in school, guys shunned you for being effeminate while girls shunned you for being unmanly. I don't really care, I thought you were hot and with your skills in self care would just be a big bonus because I'm trash at makeup."

"...I'm not that effeminate."

"Then try dropping the flamboyant accent."

"You got me there..."

"Yeah, so-"

"Just the tip, sex will come after I make your face beautiful."

"Ugh, fine."

After the shower, both were in towels while Hubert applied makeup and in addition, did Janette's mane.

"Wow, all these split ends is hard to look at. Didn't you ever go to a salon?"

"Who has time to go to a salon when they can just sleep in during their days off?"

"Really? I hope our kids don't adopt your lazy habits." Said Hubert.

"Ooooh~, you wanna have kids do you?" Said Janette.

"Well maybe one or two."

"Okay, I'll make sure you knock me up after the makeover is finished."

"Easy there, we don't have to rush."

"Yeah, but just letting you know..."

Then he noticed her wings. "These feathers are messy, don't you ever preen yourself?"

"No, why?"

"I bet you haven't been soaring in a straight line for a while."

"You got me there."

'My kidnapper is such a piece of work.' he thought shaking his head. "Well hold still, I'll fix that." He then grabbed a pair of tweezers, and a comb, plucking off any loose feathers, and straightening others.

"Ow!"

"Sorry about that, also sorry for later when I need to pluck your eyebrows and eyelashes."

Hours Later...

"So, what do you think?" Asked Hubert.

Janette good look at herself. "Damn, I look like a show horse, so pretty."

"That's the beauty of my skill."

Then she kissed his cheek. "I'm gonna be extra passionate with you!" Then she dragged him to the bedroom.

Meanwhile in room 306, this box was shaking and punching, trying to break free! Even angry shouting!

"Get me the hell out of here right now!"

As he struggled, a Kyuubi emerged from her bedroom. 'I hope he likes this sexy outfit.'

"Let me out!"

The Kyuubi wore a black bathrobe, showing off the G cups that were barely contained in it.

"You got it, honey!" Then with a snap of the Kyuubi's fingers, the box burst into flames and the man inside was now laying on his back.

"Ow, damn it! Mother fuck that hurt!" The man complaining had messy black hair that reached the bottom of his neck. Red eyes, a black shirt with an angry face on it. Blue ripped skinny jeans, and spiky black boots. He even had a tattoo of a king snake on his right arm.

"Oooh, you're even edgier in-person!"

"Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Yoko, your new wife."

"New wife?"

"Yep, I went to a website, made you my mail order groom and they kidnapped you so you could meet me, you sexy edgelord."

"What? I thought websites like that would be banned by the government."

"The website was actually from the dark web."

"Fuck! I'm gonna kill someone!"

"Oh yes, kill someone, prove the kids from Highschool right, that you are a psycho." she hummed with a shiver. "Show them what you're made of."

"Are you...are you getting horny?"

"I love edgelords, but my family and friends kept on telling me to not talk to them."

"Well we don't wanna talk to anyone either." He then grabbed the doorknob. "Listen lady, I have some baggage I wanna deal on my own, I'm not gonna play house with you."

"Oh, I read your files."

"Then you know to leave me alone." He then turned the doorknob. It wouldn't turn and irked him before he started tugging. "Hey, what's the big idea? Open up!"

"Nah, you're under my fox illusion, now let's talk. I wanna help you, and in doing help myself to sex later."

"How the hell are you gonna help me?"

"What? You gonna do something brash like break into the rich jerk that made everyone hate you? You need a team for stuff like that and my powers ensure I'm all the team you need."

"Huh...that's actually a good point."

"But also, please...tell me...what caused you to get framed?"

"I was just there. I just wanted to get an A on a project, but then I turned that corner and saw it..."

"So it was just a coincidence?"

"Yeah, rich brats just wanna do anything to make sure they don't get caught and kicked out."

"Well I can help with that."

"I can tell since you've already kidnapped me with the Dark Web...this location is safe, right?"

"Yes, no hackers dare come here."

"Phew."

"Anyways, I know who that rich kid is that you're talking about. I've been tailing him for months, and discovered he owns the blue mansion in the upper parts of the city. Illusion magic has it's benefits. I managed to break in, gathered the blueprints and then got supplies ready for you to kick his ass." Then she laid out all the supplies on the table.

"Wow...you've been planning all this?"

"Of course edge boy, I wanna see you kick people's asses, and a good starting point is the guy who ruined your life." she winked with the man looking at her in surprise.

"I dunno what to say..."

"How about you say that you'll be my husband?"

"...do I gotta do any chores?"

"My magic cleans this house in a second, no, just promise you'll stay with me."

"...eh what the hell."

"Yay!" Then she pounced on him!

"Ow!"

"Let's make love right here!"

Meanwhile in room 308...

'I hope he's okay with this, he's getting a free home.' Thought a regular looking girl.

'You kidding, the moment we tell him, he'll just shove his penis in our mouths.' Thought a lewd presence. 'Especially mine when he finds out how much I can suck~'

'Dammit, I thought I said shut up!'

'Really? I can't be perverted? Especially since we have a husband now? As in, free sex whenever we want?'

'Please just let me have my pure romantic fantasy and not have you lewd it for an hour?'

'Fine...I'll just do it after the hour's over.'

'Why did I have to be born with you?'

Then the box was cut open. It revealed a redheaded ginger who wore an old long brown trench coat black shirt with holes in it, and worn out blue jeans. "Huh? Where am I?"

"Uh...hey Rodney."

"Hm?" He turned and saw a normal looking girl. Long black hair, C cups, average sized ass, her face was a regular level of cute, brown eyes, dark skin, a white shirt, blue shorts. She looked very unsuspecting. "Hey, how do you know my name?"

"Hi, I'm Rina, you may not remember me, but we were in the same class in high school."

"Oh, is that so?"

"Yep, I've had a crush on you ever since, but I never got the courage to ask you out."

"Oh, I'm flattered someone actually found me attractive."

"I've hunted you down after college, but you apparently went bankrupt and disappeared."

"Yeah...let's just say I gambled away the last of my cash when I was desperate and it bit me in the butt."

"Well it's okay now, your suffering is over. After using a dark web site, you now live with me as my mail order bride."

"YEAH, now take off your pants to properly thank your savior!"

He blinked with the girl blushing.

"I-Ignore that!"

"Hey! Don't ignore this sexy voice!"

"Uh...was that you?"

"No!/Yes!"

He then raised an eyebrow.

"So...both and neither?"

"I'm what you call a Futakuchi-Onna, hot girl, with an extra mouth in the back of the head, and this is hungry for penis!"

"Dammit, shut up!" she cried slapping the back of her head.

"Ow! I wish you'd grow your hair out so I can slap you back!" Growled the other mouth.

"Sorry, I wanted to wait till about a month to tell you that I was a monster girl." She told him. "You probably don't wanna be the husband of a monster now that you know, huh?"

"What makes you say that? Not sure what that dark web site told you, but it should tell you, I'm not picky."

"R-Really?"

"Yeah. Sure I'll deny you a week of sex for kidnapping me, but I'll do this if it means I have a warm bed and food."

"Dammit!" Shouted the other mouth. "Come on, just drop the pants and let me get a taste for ya."

"Nope." Said both Rina and Rodney

Meanwhile in room 401.

"I wanna open it!" Said a bear head!

"No, let me!" Said an anaconda head! "You always open boxes!"

"Noooo!" They then started hitting each other.

"Come-on sis, just this once!"

That's when a pair of scissors cut through the tape from inside the box.

"Huh?" They watched as it slid to one side to the other, and then...the man inside started humming Pop Goes the Weasel.

Then after the humming stopped, a man wearing a happy face mask jumped out! He had blue and yellow curly hair, a blue and yellow jester outfit and a red tutu. "Booga booga booga!"

The heads of the Pushmi-Pullyu clapped.

"Thank you, thank you." He bowed. "Wait a minute..." He then saw his audience. The anaconda half of this Pushmi-Pullyu wore a bright pink tank top showing off her D cups while the bear half wore 2 shirts to conceal the true size of her chest. "...my audience is not what I'm used to."

"Uh...do you know what's going on right now?"

"No, I was bonked on the head and then I woke up in a box to hear women fighting."

"Well...uh...Ziro "the Magnificent" Henderson, I'm Mikayla." Said the Bear.

"And I'm McKenzie." Said the Anaconda.

"We're a Pushmi-Pullyu, you've probably seen our kind portrayed in storybooks and cartoons." Said Mikayla.

"Nope, I don't read." he smiled with a thumbs up.

"Well anyways, you're now our mail order groom." Said Mikayla.

"Which means we're hooked up." Added McKenzie.

"What!? Is this just a weird prank from one of my circus pals and the ring leader assigned me to show you the ropes?"

"Nope, and pretty rude of you thinking we could be in the circus." Said McKenzie.

"Sorry, it's just that I never met a monster before. My parents were pretty racist when I was growing up."

"How racist?"

"They tried to frame this one honor student for murder."

"Did your parents get caught?" Asked Mikayla

"Yeah, because Chupacabras only kill sheep, not humans."

"Now that is racist."

"Yes, so please excuse me for not having the best social skills with monsters."

"Eh, we'll help you." Said McKenzie. "But right now, you got any jokes? We could use some cheering up after the crappy week we've been having."

"Sure thing. Anything in particular?"

"Just tell us."

"Well, you asked for it." Said Ziro. "What happens when you tie a knot?"

"What?"

"You can only have sex with one person for the rest of your life. Unlike me, I got 2 to fuck for the rest of mine!" he chuckled holding his stomach with the two heads snickering. "So, apparently clowns and marriage are the scariest things ever, well, I'm a married clown, so I must be the equivalent to God-friggin-zilla!" Then he roared.

"Hahahaha!"

"Thank you, thank you, I just hope the quality of my jokes don't decline when we have kids."

Meanwhile in room 405...

The man was already out, looking around. "Where am I?" He was a short man, red hair in curly q, he had blue glasses, a blue shirt with a big white circle in the middle, black shorts and sandals. As he looked around, he saw that this apartment had one part fancy decor, one part nerdy collectable stuff. "Woah, what is this place?" He looked around, and then suddenly, a huge shadow covered his entire short being! "Whuh!?" He turned around.

"Orlando Trent, welcome to my domain!" Said a blonde woman with red eyes, in a black inky cloak.

"Y-you c-can't be what I think you are, are you?"

"Oh, but I am!"

"In that case..." He ran to the curtains and opened them! "Take that!"

"Hehehehehe...nice try, but I'm actually half human..."

"Oh...c-c-crap..." he gulped before he ran off in a random direction. "HELP! I NEED GARLIC! STAKE! SOMETHING!"

"Nice try, vampire weaknesses have no effect on Dhampires." Then she pulled out a rosary. "You see? I hold this cross, yet I'm not feeling a burning sensation."

"VAMPIRE LIES!"

"Now then, time for me to explain your purpose being here..."

"Purpose? You mean so I can become your human mind control slave and lure other humans for you to feast on?"

"No..."

"Is it to be trapped in the dungeon and forced to provide you with an endless supply of fresh blood?!"

"No."

"Is it to be your sex slave and be humiliated for all eternity?"

"You got the sex part right, but still no."

"Then what?"

Then she threw off the cloak, showing off a red short sleeve shirt, black skinny jeans and black boots.

"You're my mail order groom." She said in a normal voice.

"...you mean slave right?"

"Nope." Then she hugged his right arm. "It'll feel like slavery if that's your honest opinion on marriage."

"Oh-no, since marriage is a holy bond, then I'll gladly do it, just to keep vampires away!"

"Well what if that holy bond is with a vampire? Or at least, half a vampire?" Then she leaned on him.

"Uh...then half holy I think?"

Then she kisses his cheek. "I'll show you vampires and dhampires aren't all scary, come with me to the couch."

"S-S-Sure."

They walked to the couch and sat down.

"Bye the way, the name's Moon."

"N-N-Nice to meet you."

She then transformed into a bat. And landed on his shoulder.

"Oh god..." Then she nuzzled his cheek. "Uh...phew..." he said. 'Huh, she's actually softer than I thought bats were.'

"You like that?"

"Yeah, pretty soothing."

"So, are you a dog person?"

"Of course, I love dogs."

Then Moon jumped onto Orlando's lap and transformed into a grey wolf!

"Whoa!"

She now laid her body down on his lap.

'Hmm...' thought Orlando before scratching behind her wolf ears.

"Mmmmmh!" She hummed in pleasure. "That feels nice." She then reached up and licked his cheek.

"Ok, now that's pretty cute."

That's when she transformed back into her dhampire form, but this time, she was naked!

"Bwuh!?" He covered his eyes.

"It's okay to look, we're married now, after all." she grinned cuddling against him with her chest rubbing his arm.

He looked and he started getting very hard.

"So, what do you think of your dhampir wife?"

"I guess...not all vampires are scary."

"See? And with my power to shapeshift, we can get VERY kinky~" She said before turning into a cloud of smoke and flying into his pants.

"Woah! H-Hey!"

Then she exited and transformed back still nude. "7 inches, I scored!"

"Uh...that's the first time a girl's gotten into my pants."

"And it won't be the first time~" She then kissed his cheek.

"So what made you wanna marry a guy like me?"

"My dad kept pressuring me for marriage, and so I decided to make him shut up by taking the easy way of finding a guy and it just so happens, you're my type."

"I am?"

"Yep, that simple."

"So...is your dad the vampire?"

"Nope, my mom is, and my dad's actually scarier than her despite being human, try figuring that out when you meet them next month."

Orlando gulped at the thought, a normal human, being scarier than a vampire. "Uh, any chance I could not and say I did?"

"Nope."

"Oh boy..." he said worriedly.

Meanwhile in Room 408...

'I guess there is a benefit to being short, boxes aren't cramped.' Thought a man with a white T shirt, red pants, black sandals, an eye patch, brown left eye and blonde combed hair. 'But the big down side to being short, is that whoever FUCKING kidnapped you wraps your FUCKING body in bubble wrap!' He struggled in the stop while annoyed with each bubble he popped while bouncing against the crate. "Godammit! Lemme out!"

"Okay, but what's the magic word~" a female voice teased.

"Shazam! Now lemme out!

"You're right!"

And then instead cutting the box open whomever this lady was, shred it to pieces!

"Ah! Oh shit! Hey! Calm down lady! Sorry I was rude!"

"Don't worry, this is just how I open boxes!"

"I thought I was gonna die!" Then when the box had plenty of holes in it, the person then tore the box open. 'Why do I smell so much kelp right now?' he thought before finding himself pulled into a bone crushing hug.

"Hi Louie, my mail order groom."

"Mail order groom, are you kidding? Okay, granted, I was looking for a girlfriend, but seriously, I would've said yes since every girl just rejects me for being short." he admitted before getting a good look at the person, who was a roman with long red head, which looked wet with seaweed in it, and had the lower half of a blue furred horse that had fins on the back with no shirt on, showing off her G sized breasts.

"Whoa!"

"Oh yeah, I know about that. It's okay to say no, but to give you the Johnny Bravo treatment? That's a bit extreme."

"You know that show too?"

"Yep, it was my favorite show."

"Mine t-hold on! What the heck are you?"

"I'm a kelpie, a seaweed horse monster."

"Really? I couldn't have been kidnapped by a mermaid or siren?"

"Oh hush you. So, to make you feel better about being kidnapped, how about you feel me up for a little bit before we head to the pool?"

"...am I on one of those weird reality shows?"

"You tell me." Then she took both of his hands and put them on her chest. "If we were on a hidden camera show, this would be too hot for TV."

His eyes widened feeling the tits and gave them a brief squeeze.

"Mmmh!"

"Okay, I believe you."

"See? Told you."

"So what's a busty chick like you doing, having me as a mail order groom?"

"I'm obviously lonely."

"Okay, but why me specifically?"

"I figured we could help each other out. I won't be lonely, and you get a gal who's okay with you being short."

He grit his teeth hearing the word, short.

"So, we heading to the pool now? I need to soak my kelp."

"You gonna make a pun about me?"

"Yes, but I'll make this short."

"Dammit!"

"You're cute when you're mad."

"Ugh, let's just go, I need to cool my head from such a stressful day."

"Ok." She agreed. "And I also prepared an adorable swimsuit for you." She then pulled out a small black speedo, while drooling.

"Don't be too eager, I'm not exactly hung like a horse."

"Eh, big ones don't interest me. Sure I've had a few big ones, but man were they attached to boring guys."

"It ain't gonna do much for you if we go to bed."

"It'll be fine, we'll figure something out."

"Wow, you're sweet."

"Yep, now let's go." Then she picked him up and held him like a baby before they exited the apartment.

"Really?"

"You're just so cute."

Meanwhile in room 503...

"Finally, I thought this was never gonna show up." Said a female voice before pulling the box apart with her bare hands.

Inside was...a tall blue anthro fox?

"Huh?"

"Helloooooooo Wilfred." Said the silver furred werewolf wearing a red sweater and nothing else.

The blue fox looked at the werewolf. "Wow, that's some suit you got. Hand made?"

"Nope."

"Oh, designer made. Cool, cool." He said, standing up. "So...what was I doing in there?"

"I've had my eye on you Wilfred Wolff. You try so hard to get a girlfriend only for them to leave as soon as they learn of your furry fetish. Well, don't worry, I used an illegal website to make you my mail order groom."

"Oh, that's great...uh..."

"Pamela Dunn, the werewolf."

"Ah, your fursona is werewolf."

"Nope, I'm an actual werewolf." Then with a snap of her fingers, she reverted to a fully clothed, human.

He jumped back and looked her over while stunned. "Wait...werewolves are real?!"

"Yeah, but come-on, don't you wanna feel what it's like to have sex with an actual furry?"

"G-get away from me monster!"

"Oh, I see how it is, you're completely happy with your fursuit, but when the real thing comes along, you decide to be a hypocrite!" Said Pamela as Wilfred got the door open and ran! "Nice, a chase, I always wanted to have one of these kinds of romances." she got on all fours with her tail wagging and took off after him.

"Get back here Wilford, I wanna squeeze you between my huge thighs!"

"Help! Dog catcher!"

"That was a fun day at the park." Said Kagura.

"Yeah, I especially liked when that one kid wiped out and almost got bit by a dog." Said Damien.

"Help!" Screamed Wilford. "Werewolf attack!"

"Come-on Wilfred, you know you need me!"

"Stay away!"

"Huh, looks like I'm not the only one who ordered a mail order groom." Said Kagura.

That's when Wilfred noticed something very very convenient. "Incase of mail order groom abduction break glass?" Wilfred then broke it open and pulled out... a condom. "Seriously!?"

"Ah ha! So you came prepared~"

"Uh, hey look! A vampire!"

"I'm only half-vampire." Said Moon before she and Orlando went back to making out in the hallway.

"Wh-what is with this apartment building?" He wondered while continuing to run.

"Nice try hubby wubby, but I'm not a vampire hater like most other werewolves." she laughed while licking her lips. "Now come to momma wolf~!"

They kept running until they got to a dead end.

"Ah! No way out!"

"So, before we do it, let's talk..."

"About what?"

"Why aren't you taking this opportunity? You got a real furry ready for sex."

"Well...I've seen what real werewolves are like, and it isn't pretty!"

"Okay, we're a bit barbaric, but we're not always like that." Pamela was now pinning Wilfred to the wall.

"Then do you mind letting go?"

"Sorry, but no."

"And why not?"

"You haven't kissed the bride yet." Then she placed her lips on his costume's mask.

He blushed under it while she licked across the mask with a lustful growl.

"So, what's gonna happen tonight? You gonna take your new furry wife and make cubs or continue to run away like a hypocrite?"

"Okay, guess you're not that scary. If the other humans in this building are okay with monster love, I shouldn't chicken out on it too, and you kinda kidnapped me at a good time, my house was about to get repossessed."

"Then yay, come-on, kiss me back, I know you wanna!"

"Ok ok, let me just get my mask off." He then lifted the mask to reveal a black man with one earring on his right ear. "Hey, I must look disappointing as a person."

"Nope, furry or man, you're just perfect in my book."

"Thanks babe." Then they kissed.

Meanwhile in room 507...we see a beelzebub prying open a box.

"Whoa..."

"Muahahaha, hello Hennessey, torment awaits for I am Deathar!" She said, laughing. 'Let's see if he'll take my prank."

"Oh my god..."

"I know, y-"

That's when the man was grabbing the beelzebub's arms and measuring them. The man known as Hennessey, was a light skinned red head wearing glasses, a white polo shirt and black khakis. The beelzebub had blonde hair, tan skin, a B-cup chest, small hips and small ass.

"Remarkable." he remarked looking the arm over with awe. "This appendage is one I've encountered numerous times on my travels, only much much more tiny."

"Uh...boo?"

"The buzzing in your voice, hmm...sounds almost like the wings of a dragonfly. I need to write this down!"

'What happened?'

"What was your name again? Deathar?"

"Actually, it's Cindy, I was just trying to scare you."

"Well anyways, I need to research you, for some reason you beelzebubs just don't want us entomologists to."

"Uh...sure, go right ahead, just don't pin me on a frame."

"Don't worry, I only do that to normal insects."

'Still fucked up.'

"This fluff on your shoulders is very soft, maybe even softer than moth fur." He took note. "Can I see your teeth?"

"Of course." She then gave him her best smile.

"Hmm...does your species share teeth with katydid crickets? These look as sharp."

"I guess? I never checked."

"I might be here all day, do you perhaps have any tea?" He asked, while studying her abdomen.

"Oh yes, I'll brew some after you finish staring at my ass."

"Thank you, I'm quite parched." He said standing up.

Later after studying her body, Hennessey started asking her other questions about Cindy's biology.

"When you're born, do you spend childhood as larva and then your teen years in a chrysalis?"

"I started off as a larva, but I don't really go in a cocoon if that's what you mean."

"Oh, so you grow by molting your skin?"

"Yeah, you can show off my carapace to the scientific community the next time I have to molt."

"Thank you!" He said while taking notes. "Final questions. How long is a Beelzebub gestation period? Is it as long as a regular insect's? Just a day or 2? I assume you all lay eggs, if so, how long does it take for the eggs to hatch?"

"It varies depending on how warm it is outside."

"Ah, warmth, not water like mosquitoes like I was thinking." He said while writing.

"Well of course not like mosquitos, we don't have those huge noses."

"That you don't." He said before finishing his tea. "Okay, this was very insightful, I can't wait to show off my findings."

"Wait, just a moment!" Said Cindy, grabbing Hennessey's arm. "You do realize you were kidnapped right?"

"Oh right, I was in a crate...so what now? Do I die here?"

"No, you're my mail order groom."

"Oooooooh."

"Which means you're gonna get first hand look at what our eggs are gonna look like~"

"Wait, before we fuck..." He then turned on video chat on his phone. "Hello? Mom?"

"Hi Hennessey."

"FUCK YOU MOM! SEE?! I AM ATTRACTIVE ENOUGH TO BE KIDNAPPED AND FORCED INTO MARRIAGE!" He then showed Cindy to his mom.

"...are you some cosplayer he hired just to try and prove me wrong?"

"No ma'am, here's my receipt. I ordered a kidnapping on him, and now he's my husband."

"If he really is, then why don't you fuck raw infront of me?"

"Okay." Then she grabbed one of Hennessey's hands and led them to the bedroom.

2 hours later...

Both were exhausted...

"You see mom? Now you're gonna be a grandma!"

"Okay, guess you were right...enjoy your new wife, love you."

"Fuck you." Then he hung up. "God I've wanted to say that for years. So, um...what are we gonna name the kids? Oh, forgot to ask, how many eggs do you beelzebubs normally lay?"

"Uh...about a few hundred."

"Oh, so like a regular insect."

"You're pretty calm...most guys would start running."

"Whatever website you used to capture me, you'll obviously catch me again. So I may as well just let things happen." Then he kissed her cheek.

Meanwhile in the building manager's apartment...

"Man things have been boring, I should do something to make things interesting." Said an old aging goblin wearing a white tank top and brown pants. "Oh, I know..."

(Later)

All 10 couples were gathered in the basement.

"Welcome every...who are these 10 new guys?" Asked the building manager.

"Mail order grooms." The 10 monster brides replied.

"Whatever, anyways, welcome to movie night, I felt like the morale was lacking in this building, so hope you don't mind having a free date night, on me." He said. "Popcorn and soda are back there, my ass will be over there next to the projector, please enjoy the movie I picked out for you."

"Sweet!"

The movie started and it was a saucy romance movie, all the scenes getting the audience hot and bothered.

"Whoa..." said Damien as he looked down and noticed Kagura had her hand in his pants.

"Please letme do this."

"S-sure thing..."

"Hey Lando...can I...?"

"I'm sure nobody will notice you, Lana."

"Good!"

Leading to the couple's getting hot and bothered. They looked to the old goblin who was sleeping.

"Who's up for an orgy?" Asked Moon.

They all nodded and started taking their clothes off, leading to a whole lot of noise that surprisingly didn't wake the old goblin.


	6. Chapter 6

List of oneshots part 4

chapter 6

Cynthia gets her own start on pokemon

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"Please daddy?"

"No Cynthia."

"Unfair! How come you and uncle Trahzo get to have Pokemon?"

"Because we have experience with them, you can too, but only after you win at Black and White 2."

"But I already traveled through real life Unova with Mommy!" Then she turned and pouted. She then watched as Trahzo laid on the couch, cuddling a Midday Lycanroc. "It's not fair."

"Why is Cynthia whining?" Asked Marisa as she entered the room.

"After years of not being interested, she just suddenly wants a Pokemon."

"Well that sounds nice."

"And daddy won't let me have one!"

"Why not?" Asked Marisa.

"Yeah, not like the Pokemon will hurt me!"

"That's what I've been saying." Trahzo called over.

"Besides, not like I wanna battle, I just wanna cuddle like a pet."

"Because in order to have pokemon, you must be at least 10 years old. And I have no idea if you're at that age or not, your origin chapter wasn't clear."

"Then I'll just transform into a 10 year old when I travel in the Pokemon Universe!"

"Ok you got me there."

"So, you gonna let her become a Pokemon Trainer now?" Asked Trahzo as all 3 started making puppy dog eyes.

"Mmmm...nah."

"Oh you dick. Guess that's the end of this story." Said Trahzo. "Hey! Me, writer me, tell writer Yui that the story's cancelled."

"Oh come now, you should know that's just me being a smart ass."

"So does that mean...?"

"Yes, you can have a Pokemon."

"Ya-"

"You'll get it tomorrow."

"What? Why?"

"The 3 of us gotta get things ready, getting your first ever Pokemon is supposed to be a very special moment." Then Yui grabbed Marisa and Trahzo then ran off!

"...meanie."

The next day Cynthia finds her way to the Pokemon Universe and has been walking for a few hours.

"Stupid coordinates in the middle of nowhere, I'm never gonna find this lab-" Then she hit her face on a building's wall! It flattened before she pulled back and shook her head before it went back to normal. "Nevermind."

She entered the front door and there was a brief darkness until a spotlight fell on Trahzo wearing a lab coat and a rainbow wig. "Trahzo?"

"Nooooo, I'm Professor Grapes."

"Grapes grow on vines."

"Professor Watermelon."

"Those grow on vines too."

"Professor Tomato."

"Again, vines."

"Look, I'm trying to help make this more authentic by going with a plant since all professors are named that way."

"Fine..."

Then 2 more spotlights appeared. One on her, then another on her parents, who were recording on a camera.

"What are you two doing?"

"Being embarrassing parents." Said Marisa.

"But the only people here are us."

"Then who am I?" Asked a dark skinned girl with pink hair, a blue tank top, white shorts, black sandals and blue eyes.

"Ah!" All 4 gasped.

"Where did you come from?" Asked Trahzo.

"Hello, I'm Lormapla, I wanna be a trainer too, are you a real professor? Or do I need to call the cops for fraud?"

"I-"

"Am a real professor." piped up Yui. "He's just nervous about meeting new faces, especially after his traumatic event of losing his first ever battle against a shiny Magikarp."

"Aww, it's okay, you'll get the next one." Said the random kid.

'Awesome save, daddy.'

"Now children, if you'd please walk over to this table. I'm not a traditional professor, so I made do with what I could breed and train to level 5 in the few hours I was given to prepare."

"So no Grass, Fire and Water?" Asked Cynthia.

"Nope, but trust me, you'll like these." Then he let out 3 Pokemon. "Which will it be? The Puppet Pokemon: Shuppet, The Calm Pokemon: Hatenna, or the Wrestling Pokemon: Hawlucha?"

"Oh oh! Hawlucha for me!" spoke the random kid.

"Excellent choice Lormapla, Cynthia? Do you have an idea for a partner yet?"

"Yep, Shuppet."

"Another excellent choice." Said Trahzo.

He handed them their Pokemon and then the random kid ran out of there with a simple. "Thank you."

"Wait, you forgot your Pokede-she's gone."

"Don't worry, she'll realize she messed up when she forgets what pokemon she doesn't have." remarked Yui.

"Uh...here's your pokedex, Cynthia."

"Thank you Trahzo for the Pokemon and Dex. Thank you mommy, thank you daddy for letting me have a Pokemon, for this, I'll pay you back by being extra passionate in bed tonight."

"Don't worry, I'll make sure to take your little butt when you discover a daycare."

"No thanks, I'd rather not touch anyone in Yui's family, especially Yui." Trahzo replied.

"Hey!"

"Don't flatter yourself, I meant mommy and daddy."

"That's my girl."

"Have you planned out a nickname for your Shuppet?" Asked Marisa.

"Mmmm...Cloaky?"

Then Shuppet nuzzled her.

"Cloaky it is then." Said Yui.

Then she started heading out. "Bye everyone, me and Cloaky are gonna play around in this universe for a while."

"Ah, they grow up so fast." Said Yui wiping a tear off.

"So what do we do now?" Asked Trahzo.

"I already introduced you to Yugioh, wanna try your hand at Bakugan?"

"You're on."

Then they exited the lab.

"Now, before we leave, gotta destroy the evidence of being a false research lab." Then Trahzo pressed a button on a remote and blew up the building behind them.

"You do know you could have just used a Voltorb right? Blowing up is literally what they do all their lives."

"Yeah, but there's no style to it." Then all 3 walked through a portal.

Back to Cynthia and Cloaky, who were playing tag.

"Tag!" But she missed as her hand phased through Cloaky's body.

Cloaky smirked and flew away and went through some trees.

Cynthia melted into a shapeless form and pursued. A while later Cloaky wondered where Cynthia went until suddenly a tree she passed by shaped into Cynthia and she managed to tag her. "Got ya! You're it!"

She and Cloaky chuckled as they continued chasing each other. Eventually, we see them sharing snacks.

"Cloaky, say ah."

"Ah."

She then fed Shuppet the gummy. 'Hmm...should Pokemon even be eating candy?' she wondered while Shuppet hummed with joy. 'I hope it's not like chocolate with dogs.' "How do you like it Cloaky?" Then she realized. 'Oh wait, she's a ghost type, she'll be fine.'

Cloaky then showed more affection by licking Cynthia's cheek.

"Aw." smiled Cynthia before hugging the pokemon against her. "I love you Cloaky."

"Shup!"

"And I'm sure you'll love mommy and daddy as well." She giggled with a pervy grin.

Shuppet looked at her with a questioning face.

"They're really fun. They showed me all sorts of great stuff to do." Then slimy tendrils emerged from her back and started rubbing all over Cloaky making her blush. "You'll be very loved since you're family now." Then all of a sudden Cynthia let go. "Alright, ready to play some more?"

Cloaky nodded.

"Alright, hide and seek. You hide and I'll count to 10."

The Shuppet nodded and floated away as Cynthia covered her eyes and started counting.

"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7..." Cloaky found a hiding spot. "...8, 9, 10. Ready or not, here I come."

Cloaky was hiding in a bush next to the entrance to a forest. This was going to be an easy game because Cloaky got a little horny when Cynthia touched her everywhere. So some juices dripped when she went to hide.

"Oh Cloaky, where are you~?" She saw the trail and followed it to a bush. "Oh Cloaky~" Cynthia swiftly zipped around and grabbed Cloaky. "Found you!" She said, giving Cloaky kisses on the cheeks. "Now it's your turn." 'Huh, it's really fun having a Pokemon, I've been missing out!'

"Shup Shuppet." Cloaky was now counting as Cynthia hid this time. She then hid in a hole in the ground, only to be kicked out by a now annoyed Dugtrio.

"Sorry."

"Dugtrio!" it cried out with all three heads glaring at her before ducking back under.

She then jumped into the trees and pretended she was honey on bark.

"Shuuuup?" Cloaky called.

'Hee hee hee...' that's when a Heracross appeared and started licking what it thought was honey on tree bark. Heracross's tongue tickled her. 'M-must...h-hold in...all m-my l-laughing!'

"Shuppet?"

It was too much and she just fell off the tree laughing.

"Shup?"

"Aw man, you found me!"

Then Cynthia and Shuppet hugged, but then saw the sun setting...

"Aww, guess ae gotta go home now." She opened a portal and then both walked through it.

Later that night after an intense 4-way to welcome Cloaky to the family, we see the family all panting.

"So how was your first time with a Pokemon?" Asked Yui.

"Owning one or sex with one?"

"Both."

"Awesome daddy! I never knew Pokemon were such a good fuck."

"Oh you have no idea sweetie. With pokemon, you can be sure you can fuck any of them if you try hard enough."

"Can I go home now?" Asked Trahzo, who was recording.

"No, now let's get a video of you with the horny Rhydon."

"Please do not, I'll get crushed."

"Be lucky you're doing it with a female."

"I thought you said male?" blinked Marisa.

"Shhh! He wasn't supposed to know yet." whispered Yui.

"Don't make me nuke this house." Said Trahzo, holding a detonator.

The next day we see Cynthia and Cloaky playing some more.

"Can't catch m-" then she heard crying. "Huh?"

"Shuppet?"

They followed the sobbing and saw the little girl from yesterday.

"Lormapla?"

"Cynthia?"

"What's wrong? Where's your Hawlucha?"

"We were walking through that dark forest, then this huge Pokemon attacked! We got separated, he's in that dark forest all alone! Probably gonna die!"

"Hmmm, well, maybe me and Cloaky could try and find him."

"You'd do that for me? Thank you Cynthia!" Then she hugged her.

"No problem. Come on Cloaky!"

"Shup!"

"I'll lead the way."

And so the three went into the woods. They walked across a log over a gap, they tiptoed past a sleeping Ursaring, they waded through swampy water, and then crawled through some bushes.

"We're almost there." Said Lormapla, but that's when a flock of 3 wild Murkrow attacked them!

"Uh oh, ready for a battle Cloaky?"

"Shup shup!"

"Now...let's see this note Uncle Trahzo gave me this morning."

The note read: "Dear Cynthia, if you thought I would stop at breeding a Pokemon, you're wrong, I gave your Shuppet some awesome moves, enjoy bringing the chaos with Shadow Sneak, Gunk Shot, Thunder and Double-Edge!

From, Trahzo."

"Alright Cloaky, use Thunder!"

"SHUUUP!" Then thunder rained down, striking all the Murkrows! All of them cried out before dropping down with swirls in their eyes.

"Whoa! Your Shuppet already knows some awesome moves?"

"Yep, thank the professor."

"My Hawlucha has some cool moves too, but we weren't experienced enough to take on the scary Pokemon up ahead."

"Well don't worry, leave everything to me and Cloaky."

"Yeah, and I'll heal up Cloaky, I got plenty of potions and Oran Berries." Then they continued forward.

A horde of 5 Impidimps charged at them but then they all got blown away!

"Use Gunk Shot!"

"Shuppet!" Filthy garbage spewed from Cloaky's mouth, burying the horde in it!

"Good job!"

Then they forged ahead until they found themselves at a gap.

"Hawlucha and the huge Pokemon I ran from is right across from here, if only we had a flying Pokemon." Said Lormapla.

"It's cool, unlike you, I have superpowers." Then Cynthia stretched her entire body across. Forming a bridge for Lormapla.

"Woah!" She then walked across Cynthia who also got a look at Lormapla's panties.

"Wow, Meowths?"

"Perv!" She squealed before covering her skirt.

They eventually made it and found Hawlucha on the ground.

"Hawlucha!" She cried before running over. "Are you okay?"

"Lucha..."

That's when a loud roar was heard!

"Zaza zari Zaaaa!"

"There it is!"

It was a Regirock!

"Wow!"

"Zaaaa!" Then it started charging Zap Cannon!

"Shadow Sneak!"

Cloaky zipped through the shadows, getting behind Regirock and striking it! This just made the pokemon angry before turning and blasted Cloaky.

"Cloaky, vanish!"

Cloaky's ghost type powers allowed her to vanish, dodging the Zap Cannon! Then Cloaky reappeared soon after.

"Great job!"

"Shu-" Regirock tried Hammer Arm, but it just phased through.

"What?"

"Ghost type Pokemon are immune to Fighting type moves." Said Lormapla.

"Which means Cloaky has the advantage."

"Are you crazy? That's a legendary!"

'Legend-oh right, daddy told me about those, they're apparently this world's equivalent to gods.' she thought with a pout. "That's unfair."

Regirock then used Stone Edge! Firing off jagged pointed rocks at Cloaky!

"Shadow Sneak!"

Cloaky zipped past the rocks and then struck Regirock again!

"Thunder!"

"SHUUUUUUU!"

The Thunder struck Regirock, and what luck, Regirock got paralyzed!

"ZAAAAA!"

"It can't move! Let's make a break for it!" Said Lormapla!

Cloaky and Cynthia followed her as they ran with Hawlucha.

Later...

"Thank you Cynthia, I dunno how I could possibly repay you."

"Money sounds good."

"Well, I don't have much, but here have this star piece I found, I heard I can sell these for some good money."

"Oh! Even better." She happily put the Star Piece in her pocket.

"Well, thanks for the help, me and Hawlucha have trained long enough, we're about head out to battle and prove we're the best! Bye!" Then they left.

"You know Cloaky, that was actually very fun, battling Pokemon, going on an adventure, I think we should do it, I think we should become for real trainers!"

"Shup Shuppet!"

That's when a portal opened up.

"We were wondering how long it would take before you declared going on a journey." Said Trahzo as he and Yui stepped out of the portal.

"Congrats sweetie! Here's your pokedex." Yui then handed her a Pokedex.

"Thanks daddy."

"And here's a backpack full of stuff you're gonna need. Traveling on foot throughout an entire region is long and does a number on you, and we should know." Said Trahzo.

"That's why it's best to steal someone's bike." smiled Yui with a thumbs up.

"Ah, the one time you allowed me to kill an innocent." Trahzo smiled.

"I still regret letting you." remarked Yui. "You did it without any fun or flare. Just stabbed them and that was it. So...every day."

"Shouldn't we be seeing her off?" Asked Marisa as she stepped out of the portal.

"Mommy!"

"Hey sweetie, ready to spend about a month traveling from home?"

"Yeah, because I have my partner Cloaky with me!"

"Shup Shup!"

"Alright, see you in a few months!" Then she and Cloaky started walking down a path.

All 3 waved as she walked away.

"Alright, now that she's gone, what's a Digimon?" Asked Trahzo.


	7. Chapter 7

List of oneshots part 4

chapter 7

A single dad who has to deal with an annoying ex winds up finding a new partner thanks to his daughter.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

We find ourselves in what looked like a fancy and expensive business building with it being night time and the workers finishing up their paperwork and saving important data on the computers.

"Ah, finally, I'm almost done!"

"Sweet, wanna go hit the bar for happy hour?"

"Hell yeah! Wanna talk to the boss and see if he wants in?"

"You kidding? He's going through another one of those 'stay after hours for supposed work' moods."

"Again? Man, the guy needs to learn how to live a bit."

"Hey more girls for the rest of us."

"Alright, let's do this!"

As they left, it was shown the workers had odd appendages, from tails, wings, horns, or various other things that showed none of them were human.

We then moved over to the bosses office which took up a large chuck in the back of the room.

In said office was a handsome looking man with short blond hair with glasses on, a red suit with a white under shirt, red pants and black dress shoes with two bat wings on his back, a spaded tail poking out from behind the seat, with two curved horns on the side of his head.

"Ok, carry the two... ok, I think I'm almost done." he muttered while looking at the time. "Looks like I'll be sticking around a little longer." He shook his head and let out a sigh. "I should go home, I should see Alice before she goes to bed."

As he jotted down more numbers, he glanced over at a framed photo showing him smiling with his arm over a blue skinned woman with horns coming from her forehead with long white hair smiling too with her arm around his waist while in her other arm held a small baby with blue skin, a small tuft of white hair, and with a tail poking out of the blanket.

"Alice...I wish we had a better picture of you as a child that didn't have your bitch of a mother in it." he spoke with a glare at the woman before looking at the paper and sighed before standing up. "Forget it, I'll save this for tomorrow."

Right then his phone began to ring, making him sigh. "Please don't be more work for me to do."

he picked it up and hit accept. "Yes?"

"Hi hot stuff, remember me~" Cooed a females voice, making him freeze.

"You... how did you get this number?!" he growled while his voice went cold. "I never once gave it to you."

"Oh, I asked a friend who knew a friend, but that doesn't matter."

"Yes, it does you deadbeat!" he growled. "You shouldn't be calling me because I thought I made it very clear NEVER to talk or interact with me, or did you 'accidentally' forget that too!"

"Aw come on, why so harsh?"

"You know damn well why, also while I have you wheres the child support you owe us?"

he asked as the line went silent.

"...hey! There's this fun little rave I like to go to, you wanna join me? Maybe grab a few drinks?"

The man took a deep breath and let it out while clenching and unclenching his hand. "Listen here, if that's the only reason you decided to bug me, then kindly fuck off, never call me again, and go get wasted in a ditch."

"Hey, I'm trying to be nice here, try to reconnect, ya know? Besides, a mother has a right to visit her daughter, right?"

"Not you, you lost that right in court after you brought her to that drug filled rave!" he growled while gripping the phone extra hard. "Come near her and I'll see you in court!" he hit the red button as the call ended while trying to calm himself down. "Well, this is just fantastic. What a great way to end work on."

"Well, that was just rude." Said the woman as she put away her cell phone to show the blue oni from the picture. "You'd think he'd be happy to talk to me, it's been way too long." She said as she looked up at a large office building. "Maybe him seeing me in person will change his mind~" she put the phone away while it was revealed she was wearing a tight tiger striped shirt on with tight black pants with high heels and with a red pursue before walking towards it. 'I hope he has a sturdy desk~'

With the man, he had gotten his stuff together and was heading to the elevator while drinking some water from a bottle to try and calm himself.

'Keep it together, you left her, she's out of your life and it needs to stay that way.' he thought as he got into the elevator. 'Just focus on your life with your daughter.' He thought as the elevator went down. 'You have a better life now, and she can't come near you anyway.'

When the elevator reached the bottom and the doors opened though, he promptly did a spit take.

"YOU?!"

"Hi babe~" smiled the oni with the man coughing and hitting his chest. "You saved me some time, I was just on my way to your office."

"SECURITY!" he yelled out. "WE HAVE AN INTRUDER!"

"Aw come on, is that any way to talk to a lady~?"

"The only thing here besides me is a loose whore!" He shouted as he pointed at her accusingly. "Now get back, the court says you can't be within two hundred feet of me!"

"Aw come on, no need to be so strict all the time~" She said as she moved towards him. "How about we kiss and makeup, alright?"

"SECURITY!" he yelled as two men who looked like they were made out of stone and were taller than both of them ran over before grabbing the woman.

"Hey, let go of me, I'm his wife!"

"Ex-wife, now get out of here!"

The men dragged her out the front doors while she struggled to break free.

"This isn't over, let me go you walking mountains!"

The incubus adjusted his tie and made his way out the side doors. 'I hope that's the last I see of her for awhile.'

(Later)

"Ugh, those damn brutes really need to learn how to treat a lady." muttered the oni rubbing her shoulders. "They probably can't get a date and get stuck standing around there because they have too much time on their hands." The oni kept mumbling in annoyance as she walked down the street. 'Now then, where did that hunk of an incubus run off too?'

She looked at her phone and tried sending him a text. "Thinking of you~" She chuckled before receiving a 'blocked' notification. "Geez, how cold can you be?" She said with a huff. "I wonder if he still lives at the same place as last time?"

As she walked down the street, the camera panned far off to a neighborhood. It looked like an average suburban neighborhood as the incubus approached one of the houses and entered with a sigh of relief.

'Thank god I made it here without any problem.' He thought as he closed the door behind him. "Alice, are you awake?"

"DADDY!" Cried a small blue skinned girl as she ran towards her father.

He crouched down and caught her as she jumped and held her with a smile. "You sure got energy even though it's so late. Did you get into the cookie jar again?"

"Maybe, you left it on the counter." She said innocently. She had white hair done up in two pigtails with a pink dress on while her tail swished.

"Alice, what have we said about too many sweets?"

"That they're bad, but I was a good girl!" She protested.

"Ah ha, so you did eat some. Well that just means you have to brush extra tonight before going to bed."

"Aw, no fair, you tricked me!" She pouted as he just chuckled.

"Well it is getting pretty late, so you should be getting ready for bed."

"Ok, night daddy." she smiled as he pecked her head before setting her down as she headed up the stairs to her room.

'She's the only good thing that came out of my marriage, if I had to do it all over again I would if it meant I could be her father.' he smiled fondly and undid his tie to get changed and go to bed.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

He stopped and turned to the door with confusion. 'Who could that be at this hour?'

"Hey, you in there babe?"

His eyes widened before they narrowed and stayed silent. 'Don't tell me she followed me here!'

"Hello? You're in there, right?"

'Just be quiet and she'll go away.'

"Hey, come on, are you ignoring me?" called the oni knocking again.

'I can't listen to her, just wait for her to get bored.'

"Come oooon."

'Should I call the cops?'

"Daddy, what's making all that noise?"

"Nothing sweetie, go back to bed."

"Ha! So you ARE home! Is Alice there? Alice, sweetheart, mommy is here!"

"Mommy?" perked up the girl making the man narrow his eyes as she ran down. "Mommy!"

"Alice, that's not your mother, it's a stranger. Remember what I said about stranger danger."

"But she says she's mommy, is she lying?"

"Yes yes she is, now go back to bed."

"Hey, don't lie to her!"

"Leave or I'll call the police!"

"I want to see my daughter!"

"I won't say it again!"

"Let me IN!" She shouted before punching the door and putting a hole in it.

"Hey! That's damage to my property!"

"It's fine, now let me see my daughter!" She yelled while her arm moved around. "Dang it, where's the stupid knob at?"

"You are not coming in, if you do I'll call the police!" Growled the man while moving over to try and push her arm away. "Just leave us alone you devil woman!"

"Daddy? Why are you being mean to mommy?" Asked Alice with worry.

"Daddy has to honey, mommy is being very, very bad right now." He spoke before the oni grabbed his wrist and yanked his own arm outside the door. "Hey! Let go!"

"Nope, I got you now! Now open the door!"

"I warned you!" He growled reaching into his pocket and rushed to get his phone out while dialing in 911. "Last chance to leave!"

"Come on, you don't have to be such a stick in the mud, what happened to that fun loving guy I married?"

"I grew up!" he growled while holding the phone up and hit the speaker.

"Hello? This is 911, how can I help?"

"A crazy lady is trying to break into my house, send the cops!"

"Alright sir, I'm dispatching officers to your address as we speak."

"Hear that? They're on their way."

"Aw come on, why are you such a stick in the mud?" She huffed while letting go of his arm.

"Because you're a danger to Alice's future and I'm not letting you get away with breaking the law again!"

"Aw come on, that was just a misunderstanding!"

"I won't repeat myself!" He shouted as the faint sound of sirens began to fill the air. 'Finally, the cops are coming!'

"Ugh! Party pooper!" She yelled before running away.

'I hope they catch her and lock her away!' He thought before looking at Alice who looked worried and sad.

"Daddy? Why did mommy have to go? I wanted to see her again."

"Well… I'm sorry honey, but I don't think that's a good idea, mommy isn't a very nice person." He spoke while feeling his heart break as he crouched down and held her. "I know it's sad and confusing, but I want you to know that your mother….she's not the kind of person I think should be with us."

"But she's my mommy, why shouldn't she be with us?"

'Augh, how do you even begin explaining something like this to a child?' He thought while taking a deep breath. "Let's just say mommy did some stuff when you were a baby that were bad, and it would have been something I didn't want you exposed to. She didn't take being a mommy as seriously as she should have."

"Really? Why? Didn't she want to be my mommy?"

"I know it's hard to understand, but over time it'll be easier. Right now though, you need to get back into bed and have sweet dreams."

"Ok… hey daddy, does this mean I have to look for a new mommy?"

"You don't have to worry sweetie, because daddy will always be there." He smiled while picking her up and carried her to her room. "That's a promise."

"Ok Daddy… I'm gonna find a new mommy, the best mommy I can!" She smiled with her dad just smiling as he set her down in her bed.

"Well just make sure you get plenty of sleep before you do."

"Yes daddy." She said with a yawn. She cuddled under the sheets and the pillow. "Night night."

"Yes, night night dear." he said with a smile as he kissed her forehead.

(Later)

"Alright, let's see now. Last years budget cuts weren't as bad as I was expecting, but I intend to keep them as low as possible." Muttered the demon while typing at his computer without looking away. "Let's see, we could eliminate some benefits the other employees enjoy but that would not end well and would likely end in a strike."

Knock knock

"Come in, the doors unlocked." He called, not looking up.

"Sir? There's some woman down in the lobby calling for you." answered a man with goat ears.

"Is she an oni?" He asked with a groan. "If she says she's my wife or anything close to that have security throw her out immediately."

"No, she says she's your sister-in-law, but I wasn't sure if that was true or not so I wanted to run it by you first."

The demon groaned as he shook his head. "Ugh…. it's probably her, ask her for her name and tell her I'm busy."

"On it." the goat man left the office while the incubus rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"Trying to pull that old trick Brenda? Nice try, but I've learned since last time." He muttered with a frown. 'I swear if she keeps this up I'm gonna go to the cops about this, she owes me enough unpaid child support to get her locked up until Alice leaves for college.'

"Sir? She says her name is Breanna."

"I don't have a sister in law with that name, if she keeps bugging us kick her out and call the cops."

"On it." He left again while the man looked back at his computer and resumed typing.

"I'll just focus on work and wait till she digs her own grave. No sense in me going down and telling her off, it'll only encourage her." He said with a sigh as he tried to focus on his work. 'I'm not covering for her, if she wants to be an idiot she'll pay the price.'

It was a few minutes later before the goat man came back, but looking nervous.

"Uh, sir?"

"What is it?" He asked with a sigh, knowing he wasn't going to like what he was about to hear.

"That woman is making it clear she's apparently knocked up and is demanding to see you."

"If she's pregnant it's not mine, call the police. Tell her to do a pregnancy test or to come up with some better lies"

"Right a-" He was cut off and knocked aside by the oni herself who smiled when she saw the incubus.

"Wow, your office sure is up high. I had to really work my glutes going up all those stairs."

"Hey! What are you doing up here, and how did you get past security?!"

"I slipped by and went up the fire escape." She replied while walking in and shut the door with a half lidded look. "Besides, I wanted to surprise you in your office."

"Consider me surprised, and now you can take your ass and get out!" He shouted as he picked up his phone and began to dial up a new number. "I'm calling security!"

"No!" sShe ran over and held her hand down on the receiver. "Come oooon! We finally have some alone time after a long time and you don't wanna take advantage of it? Why don't you take an early break? I'll bet we could get all that built up stress out in no time~" She purred with a wink.

"I want nothing to do with you! How many times do I have to tell you this?! You are insane, you try to break into my house, you harass me at work, you refuse to pay child support, what makes you think I want to be with you?!"

"At least I'm trying to help make us work again!" She threw back with a glare. "Back then you were all over me. You use to do all kinds of nasty things, remember?"

"Yeah, but you know what ruined it?" He glared back. "The fact that even after we got together, even when we found out you were pregnant, and even when I started to take things more serious, you went off and partied like we were still in high school. You just wanted to get drunk, party, have fun, and don't even think I'd forget those times you suggested we fuck other people to 'spice things up'."

"Aw come on, it would have been fun!"

"Well guess what, life isn't about constantly having fun, I decided to buckle down and get my shit together while you stayed a party girl, why do you think I divorced you?!" He yelled. "I wanted to raise Alice like a real father should!"

"Hey, I wanna be there for h-"

"Oh no you don't! You don't get to pull that shit, you didn't even show up at the trial over her custody because you were drunk out of your mind!" He snapped with his tail twitching and wings spreading out. "I'M her real parent, I'M the one putting forth an effort to raise her, but you? You'd probably drag her along to a party without caring what happens to her." He growled as his eye twitched. "Oh wait, I forgot, YOU ALREADY DID THAT! I gave you one chance for you to prove that you were responsible enough for joint custody and you blew it!"

"Ugh, that's why I wanna change." She groaned rolling her eyes.

"Oh yeah? Then tell me, do you have the child support money you owe?"

"No, not yet, but I'm working on it!"

"Really, do you even have a job right now?" He asked with Brenda going quiet and looking away. "Or did you find some poor guy to hook along and tease out of his cash?"

"Well… does it matter where I get the money?"

"If you have to rely on that stuff just to get money, then all you'd be doing is being a horrible example for Alice. I will NOT let her do what you've done."

"Oh come on, can't we work something out? Maybe I could be a stay at home mom?" She offered, starting to grow desperate.

"I gave you a chance to work things out plenty of times, and I'm all out of free chances for you." He spoke coldly while straightening up and lowered his wings and tail. "Now you can either leave, or get hauled off to jail for all this. Don't doubt me on this."

"Come on, please, jus-"

"No more chances, and if I see you again I will call the cops." He sat down and turned to his computer. "Now get out of my office."

"I….but...fine! You bastard!" She yelled before slamming the door open and stamped out with any workers stepping out of her way.

"Finally, I think she got the message." He muttered to himself in annoyance. 'For a second I thought she was gonna try and wreck the place.'

(Later)

"Daddy, daddy!" Squealed Alice as she ran out of her school towards her father.

"Hey there sweetie." He smiled crouching down and catching her in a hug. "Did you have a nice day?"

"Uh-huh! Oh! Also, I found a new mommy!"

"What do you mean?" He asked, suddenly feeling on edge. 'Why do I have a bad feeling about this?'

"I met her by accident, but she was really really nice!"

"Uh, Alice? I understand why you'd want that, but you don't have to worry about something like that. You have school, and that can already be hard on it's own."

"It's ok daddy, I really like her too! Here she comes!" She smiled looking at the school with her dad inwardly sighing.

'Oh man, the feeling isn't going away.' He thought with a sigh. "Alright honey, let's see her."

"There she is." She pointed to a woman who had golden busy tails with white tips, matching golden fox ears on her head with long raven hair and golden pawed feet while wearing a long blue sweater and black dress pants.

"Is that… a kitsune?" He asked with a groan. 'Oh god, they hired one at a school for children?'

"Hello, are you Alice's father?" she asked with a smile while he stood up.

"Yes, my name is Alister, and I take it you work here at the school?"

"Yes, I work as a janitor here, and your daughter came up to me asking to be her new mommy." She chuckled.

"Wait….janitor?" Blinked Alister in surprise. "You mean, you're not a teacher?"

"No, I'm working as a janitor and doing night classes to one day become one." She replied with an ear twitch. "I started here a few months ago, so it's gonna take some time, but I'm in no rush."

"Really? So… I'm sorry Alice dragged you into this Mommy thing, thank you for indulging her."

"Oh it's quite alright. Honestly I thought it was adorable." She chuckled as she patted Alice's head. "She's quite the little girl."

"Does this mean you'll be my new mommy?"

"No honey, it's not that easy." Alister said as he shook his head.

"Awww, but why not?" She pouted. "You said mommy wasn't a good mommy, so I went and found another one."

"Well, I'm afraid it doesn't work like that. I uh… I have to choose your new mommy." Replied Alister with a cough making Alice perk up.

"So do you choose her? Please please please please please?"

"W-Well I can't just make a decision like that, besides, she has to agree to an-"

"Daddy if she doesn't become my new mommy I'll hate you forever!" Frowned Alice making Alister go wide eyed and stumble back, like he just got hit in the gut.

"Hate me...forever...forever...forever…" He muttered, the words ringing through his head while the woman felt pity seeing this, but hid it well.

'Poor guy, he really loves his daughter, huh?' She thought while Alice crossed her arms and puffed out her cheeks while her father tried to keep it together.

"Alice, sweetie, honey, you don't mean that."

"Yes I do! I want her as my mommy! If you say no I'll never ever ever ever forgive you! Meanie daddy! Meanie daddy!"

Alister groaned and gripped his heart and swore he heard a crack with the kitsune tapping her chin.

'Maybe I could help by going on a date with him, at least to help cheer him up. Sounds like his last wife was a real piece of work.' She thought as she cleared her throat. "Excuse me, but are you free tomorrow Alister? If you want we could go on a date?"

That got him and Alice to look at her, one with surprise and the other with a smile.

"Yay! You're going to be my new mommy!"

"Easy there sweetie, it's just a date." Spoke up Alister adjusting his tie and cleared his throat. "Uh, well, that would be fine by me given I have a day off tomorrow."

"Great, same for me, what time works for you?"

"Well….how about around 4?"

Great, you can pick me up here, see you then."

"Bye new mommy!"

"Bye Alice." Waved the kitsune as she walked away with her tails swaying behind her.

'Did… did I just land a date? Did my daughter just set me up?' Thought Alister in surprise before shaking his head and called out. "Wait! I didn't get your name!"

"Felicia!"

'Felicia. Nice name.'

(Later)

"Bye daddy, have fun on your date with new mommy!"

"Alice, it's just a date. It doesn't automatically mean we're getting together." He repeated while brushing his hair. "Chances are we'll be out for a bit and then I'll be right back in no time."

"No, you said that she'd be my new mommy!" She frowned.

"Alice, one date doesn't suddenly mean a man and woman are getting married. Besides, chances are she might not be interested."

"What? But… you said!" She sputtered as he sighed.

"Honey, what if Felicia doesn't want to be a mommy right now, it wouldn't be fair to force her, right?" He asked while said oni girl looked down and gave a slow shake.

"No...but I'd really like it if she was…"

"I understand that, but right now it's just a normal date between two grown ups. I don't know what'll happen, but what I do know is that when it's done I'll be coming straight back home. After that, why don't I take you out for some ice cream?"

"Yay, ice cream!" She cheered as he left the house. "Have fun daddy!"

"I'll try…"

(Later)

'Alright, a simple cafe should suffice. At least I hope so, haven't gone on a real date in years.' He thought as he approached the small cafe with his 'date'. "So… here we are."

"Yeah, it looks quaint." She admitted while they went and took a seat just as a cyclops waiter walked over with a smile.

"Good evening folks, would you like some menus to see what we have today?"

"Yes please, also could I have a black coffee?" Asked Alister as the cyclops nodded.

"I'll have iced tea." Spoke Felicia.

"Alright, I'll be back in a moment." He handed them the menus and walked off to get their drinks ready while Alister quickly hid behind his.

'Ok, try to remember Alister, the things not to do on a date. Don't be stuck up, don't talk a lot, hear her out, and don't stare.'

"So, I bet you aren't exactly thrilled about this date, are you?"

"Huh? N-No! I have no problem with it." He spoke up quickly.

"Oh please, we both know that you agreed to go on this date to appease your daughter." She chuckled. "So between you and me let's not treat this like a date, more like… two people getting to know each other and possibly become friends, ok?"

He looked at her in silence before lowering the menu and nodded. "Alright, that sounds like something we can both work with."

"Yep. So… how did an incubus end up with an oni daughter?"

He sighed and looked at the table. "She's not adopted, just to get that out of the way. Truth is I used to be married, but after some….disagreements, I separated from...that woman."

"Ah… so pardon me for asking this, but was she the stereotypical drunk party girl?"

"You hit the nail on the head." He sighed. "She refused to change and be a good parent for our daughter, so I divorced her."

"I had a feeling. I used to party with a couple back in highschool so I'm familiar with those girls. You'd think with the fact they can get drunk easy they would get bored with just going out to party. You'd figure they would do it at home and stay away from any creeps."

"Ugh, my ex wife thrived on the creeps unfortunately." He sighed rubbing his head. "At first when we got together, things were fine. We were kids, had tons of fun when we hung out, and it started to become something more, but it all went downhill after I got her pregnant with Alice."

"Oof, that's pretty rough… and let me guess, you're wondering how a kitsune ended up working at a school, right?"

He looked at her in surprise and raised an eyebrow. "Are you a mind reader too?"

"No, I saw your face back at the school, it's not the first time I saw that look."

"Oh….sorry." He blushed. "In my defense, my ex use to get drunk with so many of her girl friends, a few kitsune mind you, and….let's just say I was confused since it was the first time meeting you."

"Ah, let me guess, you expected me to be a sex crazed fox girl, huh?"

Alister saw her smirking and looked away while trying to whistle innocently.

"Heh, well it's fine, I'm obviously not one of those type of girls, just like you're not a sex crazed pervert."

"Of course not. I always hated that stereotype." He remarked with a frown. "Most of my life people joked that I would sleep with every girl I met, and I only ever lost my virginity in high school."

"So then does that mean the other stereotype is wrong?"

"Which one?"

She smiled and leaned in near his ear. "Is it true the wings give an idea what you've got downstairs~?"

He blushes as he coughed and looked away. "W-Well…. Is it true that the number of tails a kitsune has means how many rounds they can go?"

Felicia was caught off guard with a blush, but just let out a giggle while covering her mouth. "Wow, you sure are blunt."

"I-It's only polite to ask if you're going to ask that."

"Alright, I'll answer first then, I'm afraid the rumor is untrue." She said as she leaned in. "I can go for more than nine rounds~"

Alister tugged at his collar while she leaned back in her seat.

"So, is it true?"

"Well….can you see how far my wings can go?" He extended out his left wing. "Take that, and cut it down to half, give or take a few inches."

"Wow...nice." She said with a chuckle. "Very nice. So, now that we got the fun stuff out of the way, let's talk about each other, what do you do for a living?"

"Well I don't mean to sound all that, but I am the CEO of a big company just downtown."

"Really? Wow, that's pretty impressive." She said in slight shock. "And you still have time for your daughter?"

"Yes, most of the work is taken up by the various branches, where as I just go over the numbers for any errors that need fixing, which might sound easy, but if you don't know how to crunch the numbers, it can cause some chaos. Often I'll stay after work just to be extra sure."

"Wow, that must be a bit rough for Alice with her father working so often."

"She's actually very mature for her age. Sometimes I'll let her stay at home because she's well versed in what not and what to do when staying by herself. I'm not a fan of it, but as long as it ensures an easy life for her, I can't complain."

"I understand, but still I personally think it would be good if she had someone watching over her, maybe a female role model? It sounds like her mother isn't a good candidate for that though."

"That's putting it mildly. The one time I did let her watch over Alice, she thought it would be a GREAT idea to drag her with her to one of the raves in town. When I found out, I was close to hauling off and slugging her right then and there." He growled in anger. "After that I divorced her and forbid her from seeing her again."

"Wow, the closest I ever went to a bar when I was young was after my mom had to bring me with when she had to drag my older sister out when she snuck in. Suffice to say, it didn't get me into the idea of going to bars even when I turned legal." She chuckled as she shook her head. "So, how are you going to tell Alice that she isn't getting a new mommy tonight?"

"Trust me, I wish I could say, but even I don't know. I didn't want to give too many details on why Brenda can't be around, but now she is suddenly eager to find a new 'mommy'. Sorry if you only asked me out because of that."

"Well I'd be lying if that was the only reason." She chuckled. "A handsome, kind, single guy who's great with kids? Any girl would be lucky to date you." She chuckled as she leaned in. "Plus apparently he's also very well 'gifted'~"

He turned bright red just as the waiter came back and set their drinks down.

"So, have you two chosen on what you'd like too eat?"

"Yes, I'll just have a small scone." Spoke Felicia.

"Uh...same." Alister said with a small nod, still blushing.

"Alright." he nodded while taking the menus away and leaving them alone. "S-So… what now?" Alister asked with a faint blush.

"Well I asked about your life, it's only fair you do the same."

"Alright, so… why do you want to be a teacher?"

"Well, I'd like to be useful to the next generation. You know, help teach them useful stuff they'll need. Not be one of those teachers who complains about a paycheck when the whole point of the job is to teach."

"Well, that's quite noble." Alister said with a nod. "So are you going to try to be an early education teacher or high school?"

"I'm thinking early since most kids tend to grow up into adults based on how their childhood was like, and I want it to be one they can be proud of when they take my class." She said as he nodded. "Plus I'd like to avoid teaching at a highschool, horny teenagers are not something I'd like to deal with."

"I'm guessing you already get enough of that outside your work?"

"Far more than enough, can you believe I've been stopped over a dozen times walking home by men who thought I was a prostitute?! I wasn't wearing anything more revealing then I am now, but apparently since I'm a 'fox bitch' I'm down for sex any time all the time!" She growled while crossing her arms. "Why don't they go bug some random succubi? They're the real sex demons."

"I don't know, but I get what you mean, hell during my first week in the office I walked into the wrong room that was being booked by a bachelorette party and they thought I was a male stripper!"

Felicia almost spit her tea out and had to cover her mouth to keep from laughing while Alister shook his head.

"They almost got me in a thong before one of the managers let them know who I was."

"Wow, that must have been hilarious." She chuckled as she shook her. "I wonder how they reacted?"

"For the next week they were scared I'd fire them, and I think a few kept checking me out. I'm pretty sure they saw the bulge in my underwear."

"Hah! That must have been awkward, my worst case of mistaken identity was when my sister dragged me to a strip club, the manager thought I was there for a job!"

"At least you probably got a few extra bucks before leaving." He joked.

"Ugh, don't remind me, I spent most of them all trying to get my sister out of there, somehow she ended up with a job!" She shook her head while he sipped his coffee. "It doesn't help she lets me know they still have an opening for another kitsune, but I have to keep reminding her I DON'T want to be known as another fox shaking her goods."

"Oof, that's pretty tough, I don't envy you." He said with a small chuckle.

"I just got lucky when I applied at the school and became a janitor. I could make money and I didn't have to worry too much about getting hit on since I mainly cleaned up after the kids and teachers were out of the room." She said with a happy sigh. "Plus paired with the night classes I don't have many opportunities to end up in any troubling misunderstandings thankfully."

"Truth to be told if you were as sex crazed as I imagined, I'd probably have raised hell with the principal."

"Maybe, but fortunately, or unfortunately the principal is a bit uh...horny." She said with a shudder. "I think he was hoping I was that type of kitsune, unfortunately for him he was wrong."

"Well, I'll keep that in mind for the future."

"If you bring it up, don't let it slip I told you." She said with a sigh. "Luckily he is actually restrained and knows that no means no."

"In this day and age that's rare." He remarked before the waiter arrived and put their scones down.

"Enjoy yourselves, let me know if you need anything else."

"Thanks." They said as they began to eat their pastries. They enjoyed how warm and soft they were while having a chance with their thoughts.

'Huh, guess I was wrong to jump to conclusions. She's pretty normal and down to earth with a noble goal in mind.' He thought as he stared at her. 'Maybe….maybe I wouldn't mind going on another date with her?'

'He's quite the catch. A bit serious, but not in a bad way. Looks, money, considerate father, all he needs is to have huge muscles and I doubt any woman in this whole city would be able to resist.' She thought as she took another bite. 'I wonder if I could convince him to go on a second date, he's pretty good company as well.'

"So, since you asked me out, it's only right I pay." Spoke Alister.

"Oh please, no need to be old fashioned, I can pay for myself." She waved her hand. "It was my choice, so it should be me who pays."

"No, really, I insist, besides, I'm loaded, I think I can afford to pay for coffee and scones."

She was about to protest, but had an idea and smirked. "Alright, how about this? We play a little game, and whoever wins gets to pay."

"What's the game?"

"We have to try and make the other person blush."

"Alright, I'm game, do you want to start?"

"I already have." She smirked with a glint before she hooked the edge of her shirt and pulled it down, giving him a view of her cleavage. "I'm sorry, but it's getting a bit warm in here~"

Alister's eyes widened, but he quickly bit his tongue in his mouth and flinched at the pain to snap out of it. "It's fine, though I was wondering, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because you are an angel~"

"Aw shucks, that's sweet." She smiled, but didn't blush while one of her tails was carefully slipping under her chair and the table. "But I have a question for you?"

"What is it?" He asked before jumping when he felt something trail up his leg.

"Just how tight are those pants? Because I'll bet they're extra loose for your big boy~"

"W-Well, would you like to find out?" He said, trying to fight off a blush. 'Damn it! I didn't expect the tail!'

"Oh? Right here? Right now? My my, you're quite the daring one, huh?" She chuckled. "I have him on the ropes now~'

'Crap!' He thought while trying to push the tail away, but felt it rub against his hand while she licked her lips. 'I-I need to do something, something that she wouldn't expect...I got it!' He thought as he cleared his throat. "Felicia, I know we've only known each other for a short period of time, but this has been the happiest I've felt with another person besides my daughter. Would you do me the honor of marrying me?"

"Say what?!" She let out, wide eyed and slack jaw with a blush.

"Will you marry me and give my daughter a proper mother, and me a loving wife?" He said before noticing the blush. 'I win!'

Felica's ears perked up while going completely red while her tail moved out from under the table. "I-I don't know what to say, this is all so sudden, but…" She said as she began to nod.

'Wait, did she forget about the game?' He thought in confusion. "Uh, Felicia?"

"I...I would have liked a few more dates before having to make a decision, but...I don't think I can say no. Yes, I will marry you."

His jaw dropped while seeing her smile. 'Shit! I took it too far! She took it as a real proposal!' He thought as his mind began to race. 'What do I do?! I need to tell her that I wasn't serious...but then again she is one of the first decent women that I've met in awhile….Alice likes her and already wants her as a mommy… wait, am I really considering this?'

'I had no idea he was smitten with me, but damn! I guess the old fox charm mom told me is real.' She thought as she gulped nervously. 'I doubt he has a ring prepared, so I guess I can forgive him not offering one, do we move in now? Oh god, what do I do now?!'

'Damn it man say something! Not speaking is making this feel awkward!' He thought as he cleared his throat. "Well, uh...great! This is great, uh….I think I may have rushed that…sorry?"

"N-No no, it's fine, really." She shook her head. "I uh… I didn't know you were that smitten with me yet, but… I can't see a reason to say no, you're fun, funny, and I think I could be happy creating a life with you."

Alister blushed hearing that while his tail seemed to wiggle behind him. "That's great, really really great."

They both just stared at each other awkwardly, their faces as red as a tomato. The bill completely forgotten while unaware that Brenda was walking down the opposite street with a shopping bag.

'Haha, yes! I got all kinds of good stuff, tonight is gonna be awesome!' She smiled. 'I'm gonna give Alister the best night he's ever had. It'll be like our honeymoon, but this time I've got lingerie that blows my old pair right out of the water.' She thought happily before spotting the cafe and froze as she recognized her ex husband. 'Wait, there he is...and who the FUCK is that with him?' She thought as she dropped her bags and began to stomp towards the pair, her vision red.

"Uh...so about that bill." Alister piped up before their table was flipped away from them, making them jump and turn with him frowning seeing Brenda there looking pissed. 'Oh you have got to be fucking KIDDING me!'

"WHO THE FUCK IS THIS HOE, HUH?!" She yelled while pointing to Felicia who frowned.

"Hey! Who the hell are you lady? We're in the middle of a date."

"A date….A DATE?! You're cheating on me?!"

"We've been divorced for almost eight years!" He snapped standing up. "I'm free to pursue other women! Just like how you're free to sleep with any poor sap you find in the bars."

"Those were just flings! You knew I still loved you babe!"

"Well feelings not mutual! I keep telling you over and over that we were done, but you just refuse to listen!"

"Come on, you were just playing hard to get!"

Alister facepalmed and felt close to ripping his face off as Brenda turned to Felicia and got up in her face.

"And who the fuck is this? You bitch that I'm a bad influence for Alice and you date a Kitsune?! The fox fuckers?! They're hornier than I am!"

"The hell I am bitch!" Growled Felicia. "Unlike others, I'm not quick to flaunt my tits and ass around on some dirty pole, but from what I heard about you, you probably know what that's like don't you?"

"Hey, that was only five times and that was two months ago, I'm good now!"

"That's still way more than I ever did." She said as she shook her head. "Now how about you go and leave me and my fiance alone?"

"Why don't you…..the fuck did you just say?"

"I said that you should leave me and my fiance alone!"

Brenda went wide eyed and looked between Felicia, Alister, then back to the kitsune, and ran up to Alister while hugging him. "Please tell me this bitch is lying, please!"

"Get off of me! And no, it's the truth, I just asked her to marry me." He spoke pushing her off him while wiping at his suit. "Now leave us alone."

"No….no….no no no no no! THIS ISN'T HAPPENING!" She roared as she began to freak out.

"It's happening alright." Remarked Felicia making Brenda snap her head to glare at the kitsune before roaring out and tackled her. "AH!"

"Hey! Get off of her!" Alister shouted as the people around them began to call the cops.

"You stupid smelly bitch! I'll rip those stupid tails right off you!"

"Get off of me! Help, assault! Someone get this crazy bitch off of me!" She cried before a large hand grabbed Brenda and lifted her off.

"Alright, what's going on?!" Growled a massive minotaur, he was wearing a very tight police uniform and was holding Brenda up with ease.

"This crazy oni ran up and started yelling at us while we were in the middle of our date!"

"That oni is also my ex wife who has been harassing me for several days, and has not paid child support in eight years."

"Oh really now?" He looked Brenda in the eyes and narrowed his own. "Well then, why don't you and I go for a trip down town?"

"Hey, let go of me you damn cow, this doesn't concern you!" She growled while trying to pry his hand off. "This two timing slut is trying to take my man!"

"We've been divorced for eight years!" Reminded Alister before the minotaur carried Brenda away.

"So...that happened." Said Felicia awkwardly. "I'll uh… I'll go pay the bill."

"No need, you two can go." Said a voice behind them as they turned to see the manager. "That crazy oni will pay the bill, the cops will see to it."

"You sure? She can be really stubborn when paying money she owes."

"I don't think she'll have a choice." Chuckled the manager. "Now go, and congrats on the engagement."

Alister blushed while Felicia moved over and cleared her throat.

"So...should we let Alice know the good news or…."

"Yeah, I think so, lets go tell her she has a new mommy." He said as they got up. "I wonder what they're going to do to Brenda?"

"Whatever it is, she only brought it on herself."

"No arguments there." He chuckled as they began to walk away.

(Later)

"Alice? I'm home sweetie." Called out Alister opening the door.

"Daddy!" she squealed as she rushed towards him and tackled him into a hug. "So, did you do it? Do I have a new mommy now?"

He coughed and rubbed the back of his head. "Well….see for yourself."

"Hi Alice." Called Felicia as she opened the door. "Were you a good girl?"

"Uh-huh, I was the best girl! So, are you my new mommy for real?"

"Yup, your daddy proposed."

"Yes! New mommy!" She cheered as she jumped into Felicia's arms.

Said kitsune caught her with a chuckle while her tails moved around the girl in the form of a hug.

"Yay! Best day ever!" She cheered happily. "Oh! Does this mean we can still go out for ice cream daddy?"

"Sure, why not?" He chuckled. "I think we could use something else since those scones were pretty light."

"Yay!"

"Be careful, if I eat too much I won't fit into the wedding dress." chuckled Felicia.


	8. Chapter 8

List of oneshots part 4

chapter 8

Jack ends up visiting a mirror version of his own universe.

Series: Transformers Prime

xxxxxxxxxxxx

-Earth, Nevada, Autobot HQ-

"No Miko." Jack deadpanned while holding some chocolates. "I'm not giving you any, remember the last time you had one of these?"

"The rush was only a day."

"You nearly broke someone's leg."

Miko whistled at that while Raf sighed. "Aw come on, one time."

"Sorry, but I'm not taking any chances." He said while taking the chocolate and placed it in a safe.

"Aw!"

BEEP BEEP BEEP!

The three humans sighed while knowing that was going on.

A Deception attack/appearance.

To be fair, it was kinda getting boring...for Jack that is. Since he had been doing this for a year now, the thrill and danger has been sucked out and replaced with repetition, something he really didn't want. The fact there was still energon on the planet at this point and the fight had been going on was something none of them expected, even though it had been going on way longer than their own planet's age.

"Hey Arcee, how big of a deposit is it this time?" asked Jack following the large fembot.

"About the size of a small lake."

"Wow, sure wish we had that right now. Didn't Ratchet say our reserves were getting real low again?"

"Yes." Arcee said while noticing Jack was a little bored. "Jack? Is something wrong?"

"Oh it's nothing." he said while trying to look energetic.

"Jack, you don't seem all that excited. Usually you'd be all for coming along."

He sighed. "Fine, I'm just bored of the repetition. Everyday it's either a con attack, an attack from some crazy alien, or a terrorist attack from MECH. After a YEAR of this well...I don't feel excited at the idea of adventures anymore. Sorry Arcee, but I'm spent."

"Well no one said this fight was gonna be fun." she remarked looking down. "It's something we have to deal with until the war ends."

"I get that, and I'm not treating it like a game, I just mean...it feels like we're no closer than when me and the others got involved."

Arcee looked at Raf and Miko. "Do you feel the same?"

"Well…"

"Yes." Miko said bluntly. "I love the con kicking, but it feels kinda boring now. Especially when everytime we gain a mile, we go ten thousand feet backwards."

"Well if we can get this deposit before the cons we'll have a huge lead up. Their own reserves should be getting low themselves."

They sighed.

"What?"

"It happens all the time." Jack said. "But still...maybe today will be different."

"So are you coming or do you want to stay here?" Arcee asked as the ground bridge opened up.

The three looked at each other with Miko holding her hands up.

"I'll sit this one out."

"Same." Raf said while raising his hand up. "I have some homework to do."

Jack sighed. "I'll come, since I have nothing else to do."

'This is new...and depressing.' Arcee thought while transforming into vehicle mode. "_Hop on._"

Jack got on her before she drove towards the ground bridge while the others were already out, minus Ratchet at the controls.

(Elsewhere)

-Somewhere in Canada-

And drove right into a snowbank with a loud splat.

"_Scrap._" spoke Arcee while Jack got off with her transforming and brushing the snow off. "Great, now I'll have to get another wash when we get home."

"Provided some of us don't freeze." spoke Jack rubbing his arms. "Should have asked Ratchet before we went through where it was."

"It was either waiting for Ratchet to map the local weather or get here before the cons appear." She said while Jack sneezed.

"Sniff…" he rubbed his hands together while looking around. "Well let him know we're here and where to go."

"Alright-"

WOOOSH!

And cue a Seeker in jet mode flying past them and towards the east.

"Change of plans." she frowned. "We'll follow the con and he'll lead us right to it. Ratchet, we found a lead on the deposit."

"_Well if you had given me a chance to tell you before going through, you would have already known that._"

"Anyway, we're going to pursue the con. Make sure the ground bridge is ready in case of an emergency." She said while Jack sneezed.

"_You're not seriously going in by yourselves are you? I need to radio in the others so they can move in on your location. That stupid weather is messing with the comm link frequency._"

Arcee transformed while Jack hopped on and-

SPLAT!

Got stuck in a snowbank again.

"_Slag!_"

(A long while later)

Both sighed while finally making it to the location of the Seeker, which was a large valley full of square energon cubes the size of a lake.

"Huh? What's with the cubes?"

"The cons must be converting the raw energon into cubes for easier transport." replied Arcee as they hid behind a large boulder. "Which is gonna make it easier on us when we get the drop on them."

"Hope you didn't plan on it without us." remarked Bulkhead as he, Optimus, and Bumblebee arrived.

"Bzz bzz zzz."

Jack looked around before seeing a Seeker right next to the boulder. "Quiet!"

The con looked around before shrugging and started to throw snowballs at some cons, for fun apparently.

"Guess even cons can enjoy snow when they can, who knew?"

"Well they are about to get hit by a snow fist." Bulkhead said before Optimus held him back.

"Not now, or our cover will be compromised."

He nodded in agreeance before they carefully snuck closer to the con's position. They kept their heads down while Arcee narrowed her optics when she spotted Starscream giving orders with Knock Out beside him.

"Remember to get the energon loaded onto the ship as soon as it's refined. No sense letting it lie out in the opening."

"I know, I was the one that did the calculations." Knock Out deadpanned. "And where is Arachnid, she should've been here for the extraction."

"You know her, late as usual." scoffed Starscream checking his fingers with annoyance. "Frankly I don't care if she got lost and wound up a frozen statue out here."

"I'll keep that in mind."

As they continued talking, the Autobots got closer and closer to the energon.

"ACHOOO!"

Until Jack sneezed that is. He covered his face while one con perked up.

"Hey, did you hear something?"

"No, but I do detect some movement behind that rock." Another said. "Want to blast it?"

"Sure, it might be one of those Polar Bear things. Their fun to shoot at."

The two cons walked towards the rocks, blasters at the ready, while the Autobots felt their position was compromised.

"Ah..ah...ah…" Jack tried to hold it but he couldn't due to him being very cold at the moment. "AH-"

Arcee quickly covered his nose with her right index finger. This got him to slowly stop with the cons hesitating.

"Hey, I don't hear anything now."

"Maybe it-"

"ACHOOOOOOO!"

And cue the cons looking in the Autobots direction.

"Slag."

"It's the Autobots!"

"Blast them!"

BAM!

BAM!

The cons were blasted away while the autobots rushed out.

"Autobots, roll out!"

BAM!

BAM!

They ran down the hill while blasting at the other cons who saw them and fired back with Starscream looking annoyed.

"So they showed up after all." He sighed. "Knock Out, com Arachnid at once, and make sure there are some Seekers guarding the highly unstable energon cubes!"

"Consider it done." he saluted while Starscream transformed and flew at the Autobots before opening his own fire on them.

BOOM!

Jack hid behind some snow banks while noticing the cubes were getting bombarded by ice and debris, only for him to notice an oncoming missile from a con. "Shit!"

WOOOSH!

He dove to the side as it flew by and blew up near a cliff, causing snow and ice from it to come tumbling down.

RUMBLE RUMBLE!

As the battle raged on, the weather started to get worse and caused a sudden rush of frost and wind to obscure the optics of the combatants. This led to a few getting their heads knocked off thanks to Bulkhead's maces.

"Take that." He sent his maces in a random direction.

"GAH!" Arcee cried out while getting hit. "Watch it!"

BAM!

BAM!

BAM!

Jack tried to see where the cons were, but couldn't as he heard the sounds of a helicopter in the distance. "Oh no." he turned and spotted the familiar alternate mode and felt a shiver. "This just got bad."

The fembot sent a barrage of missiles at the Autobots while Knock Out made sure to keep the energon from getting hit, at the expense of his paint job.

"Careful! This isn't easy to maintain in sub arctic weather!" he yelled out while brushing snow off with a grumble. "I knew I should have stayed on the ship."

That was when Optimus got hit by a missile, sending him a few feet towards the cubes.

Zzzzzzzzz!

And caused the already unstable energon to slowly but surely, spark to life as a chain reaction followed sooth.

"Oh no." he spoke with his optics widening as sparks started to come up as energon cubes began to explode with him jumping up and ran off. "Ratchet! Open a ground bridge now!"

"_Ok ok! I'm on it!_"

A ground bridge opened up, however as the sparks got closer to the portal and right through the space time hole, like a river of energy.

Zzzzzzzz!

(On the other side)

ZAP!

ZAP!

"What the-"

BOOOOM!

Ratchet went flying a few feet as he slowly got up and saw the controls destroyed and on fire. His eyes widened and turned to the ground bridge to see it sparking and spasming with the color turning purple.

(With the Autobots)

The portal began to warp and spasm while it started giving off billions of joules of energy, enough to melt the ice and heat the very air itself.

"Ratchet? What's going on?" asked Bulkhead through the commlink.

"_The controls are down, I repeat! The controls are down!_"

"But the ground bridge is still up." spoke up Arcee.

ZAP!

And cue a purple bolt of lightning hitting one of the Seekers, causing it to explode into a trillion pieces.

"_Don't even think about it! I don't know what happened, but it's unstable!_"

That was when the portal began to zap nearby rocks and snow banks...including the one nearest to Jack.

ZAP!

BOOOOM!

"Woah!" He got out before noticing he was floating. "Eh?"

The portal made one more bolt of lighting, which hit Starscream's left engine, as the portal began to collapse into itself, forming a small black hole in the process.

"AHHHH!" He screamed while getting sucked in along with some energon and cons.

"Jack!" cried out Arcee who saw this and ran towards him. "Hold on!"

"Arcee!" Jack cried out while he saw the portal getting closer and closer to him. "Arc-"

FOOSH!

And cue him getting sucked in.

The portal spasmed one more time before vanishing into the event horizon, causing a sudden burst of energy that sent the cybertronians flying in every direction. They crashed all around the snow and ice area, suffering minor damage.

However, Arcee was in shock. For the second time in her life, her partner had met a terrible fate. She stared at the spot where the ground bridge was and felt like every part of her body just shut down.

"Ugh…" Starscream groaned. "Decepticons...retreat…" 'Oh my circuits…'

Any cons that were still functional tried to get up while Knock Out himself was half buried in the snow and couldn't move his arms.

As for Arachnid, she was stuck in the frost and ice, but thanks to some quick thinking, was able to get into an ice cave, at the cost of her 'wings' freezing up.

As the Autobots worked on getting out, we find Jack, screaming while getting hurtled through a long tunnel with flashing colors all around him.

Each one hurt his eyes as he went falling into the abyss, which looked weird as he saw strange sights from the edges of the tunnel, some looking the same, others…

"_Star Saber! Henshin!_"

Were completely illogical and should be excluded from the entire story due to it being non canon...for America that is.

"AHHHHHHH!" He screamed as he saw some orange horns popping out of one side, which sent him flying into another tunnel full of glass like shards. He tried to brace himself, but felt himself get cut on all sides and cried louder in pain.

That was when he saw a small portal coming up and went right into it.

-Dimension 9991-3 40 TSG, the same location-

CRASH!

And landed in a scorching desert full of cactuses.

"Pah!" he cried out, hissing in pain from the spines and had to roll on his back with some getting stuck in his shirt. "Ow...ow...ow…."

As he looked around, he noticed some energon cubes next to him, but it wasn't the normal color, but a thick yellowish hue, like melting amber.

"What...the?" he looked confused and tried to sit up with a wince before trying to yank the sharp points out. "Where am I? This doesn't look like there's been snow in this place since….never."

That was when he noticed some cons on the ground, but unlike the normal purple colored ones, they were pure red with white markings with almost normal looking faces, but what was most striking was the symbol, for it was red with sharp edges on the sides that made it look like it was filling in for cheeks or a chin.

That and all of them were either destroyed, ripped apart or had blaster fire in their torsos.

"Woah. What happened?" he grunted as he stood up and looked around while noting numerous craters. "And what's with the paint job?" he tried to take a step and walked past them while grimacing since he saw one had it's whole head crushed into a mess and had to keep from losing his lunch. "Whatever happened, it wasn't pretty."

Beep.

He blinked while recalling he got a commlink and answered it. "Hello?"

"_Whoever is on this frequency, surrender or be terminated._" said a voice that sounded...vaguely familiar.

"What?" he spoke in confusion. "Who is this?"

"_Surrender or be terminated._" It said again in an almost robotic tone before hanging up.

'Ok...that wasn't creepy at all.' he thought with concern and looked around. 'Must be one of the cons, which means I better hide.' he was about to run off, but he heard a groan and saw one of them near him twitch a little while coughing energon as it spotted him.

"Human...you must….get….away….."

"Ah!" He jumped back as the con coughed.

"Before...Auto…" It said before going limp as it's spark faded away into nothingness.

Jack blinked while looking very confused. "Auto? As in Autobot? Ok….why would a con try to give me a warning? It's not like they care."

That was when he heard several vehicles in the distance.

"Huh?" he turned and naturally went to duck for cover behind a rock. "Please don't let those be Decepticon reinforcements."

That was when he saw some vehicles, moving towards the carnage.

Each one...very odd and felt off for some reason. They looked like earth vehicles, ones he knew, but the colors were off.

He moved closer near the rock as he saw one drive past the fallen cons and stop, showing it resembles motorcycle with a red seat and some chrome lines going down the sides, but the off part was the fact the rest of it was purple with no driver and with what looked like the Decepticon symbol on the front in between the headlights.

It stopped near the rock while Jack noticed it wasn't a Deception symbol, but a purple face with pointed horns on the sides and looked similar to an angry Autobot symbol.

'What the…'

"The signal came from here." said the motorcycle in a warped voice similar to a sadistic demon. "Yet my scans can't find the foolish con."

"You probably misread the signal." said a dark black muscle car with red lines going across the sides and had what looked like spikes on the rear and hood.

"Like I could." the bike said with a chuckle. "Hey no voice, got any scans?"

All that came in response was static coming from what looked like a camouflaged colored military jeep with a machine gun mounted on the top while having several green lines going across it while revving its engine.

Jack gulped while seeing another vehicle driving towards the three vehicles, but what confused him was that it didn't look like any earth based machine, but a large ship like craft with large energy wheels on the sides, two giant wings on its sides that seemed to be folded back and made it look like a truck, two large spikes on the front that twisted around and pointed past the hood and a single large cannon on the top that seemed to be floating under its own power.

"What have you found?" they asked in a cold voice that also held a sophisticated tone to it making the other vehicles instantly quiet down.

"Nothing sir." The bike growled.

The truck vehicle drove over near the bike with Jack getting a feeling the bike was sweating. "And just why is that? You said you located an unknown signal on our comm link, did you not?"

"I did, but-"

"And yet all I see are the remains of those annoying Decepticons we slaughtered. Are you saying one of them 'somehow' survived?"

"Well…"

The vehicle aimed its cannon at the bike. "Must I destroy another Deception sympathizer?"

"Ah! N-No sir! I swear by the Allspark I detected it here!"

The vehicle was silent with Jack gulping as he saw the vehicle turn to the others. "Did you all discover it as well? Or just her?"

"Well yes sir." The muscle car gulped.

Silence.

The cannon-like vehicle turned to the jeep. "And you Bumblebee?"

The vehicle let out some static with Jack making a mistake.

"Bumblebee?!"

Speaking up loud enough to make the vehicles all turn to his location making him slap himself in the head while the bike let out a chuckle.

"Well well well, looks like we have a vermin problem. Probably wandered here without knowing it. Mind if I get rid of it sir?"

"Oh no." He gulped as the bike revved up. "Wait wait! Arcee? Is that you? What's going on, why are you in different vehicle modes?!"

"How does it know your name?" asked the muscle car while the bike moved near Jack slowly making him back up.

"Who cares?"

"I do." spoke the truck vehicle making Arcee stop as it drove past her and to Jack. "Organic, you will explain how you know her name, or be exterminated where you stand."

"I know her because I'm her partner."

"No." Arcee deadpanned. "My partner is Wheeljack."

Jack looked really lost before shaking his head and looked at the vehicle. "Hang on...Optimus, is that you? Why are you acting like this? You know who I am, it's me, Jack."

The vehicle didn't acknowledge that while Jack felt like it was giving off a dangerous glare.

"I helped you against the Decepticons."

"Ha! No organic could do that." The muscle car laughed. "They're too busy running away, like those MECH parasites."

Bumblebee let out more static with the vehicle letting out a hum.

"Good idea Bumblebee, perhaps Ratchet could discover what this organic knows, and test some of his synthetic energon on him as well."

Jack paled in horror as he backed away. "D-Don't do this guys, you can't become like the cons."

"Decepticons? We do not want peace." The truck said while the cannon aimed at Jack. "We want conquest, for the Cybertronian Empire."

"Conquest?" Jack was really lost, so much so he didn't notice there was something moving to the location, but Bumblebee did and let out some static in warning.

"Slag." The bike growled. "Decepticons, and here I thought I could sink my blades into an organic."

"Autobots." The truck spoke with a dark chuckle. "Transform and destroy!"

With that each one of them transformed into robot mode, making Jack stare in more horror, if it was possible, seeing it was indeed his friends, but also seeing it WASN'T them.

"I'm gonna enjoy myself." smirked Arcee, retaining her usual form, minus the fact the obvious change in color scheme, but also because her head had a noticeable red crest going across it while there were several notches going across her legs with her hands having talon tips on them.

"Save some for me." said Bulkhead, who looked thinner, but with spikes going across his arms and part of his face covered by said spikes as his hands were replaced with five spider like nails. "You destroyed more than me last time."

Bumblebee let out static while his form looked much more bulkier than Bulkhead while retaining the machine guns on his shoulders as half of his head was tucked into his chassis with his optics glowing red.

For the final being, the hero of the Autobots was now completely different as he was taller than the others, with the wings jutting out of his sides, his right arm forming a giant rail gun with dark green energy lines oozing out from his emblem and from his dark green eyes, and his spikes turning into inverted battleaxes that hung to his legs like a magnet. "Autobots, exterminate the Decepticons and the organic. If the peace lover is after this organic, then let's break his spirit."

"Gladly." laughed Arcee before Jack turned and tried running. "Come here you!" she took off running after him and easily picked him up with her hand and grabbed him tightly making him cry out in pain. "Aw, what's wrong? Does it hurt?"

"Ahh!" He cried out while seeing her pulling out a curved blade from her left arm.

"Good, and I thought you were getting used to the pain." she smirked darkly while Jack tried to break loose.

"A-Arcee! Please stop!"

"Beg, I love to see organics beg." She smirked while moving her blade back. "Any last words?"

His eyes widened and briefly saw his life flash before his eyes as it came towards him, only for an energon blast to fly out and hit the blade, chipping it and making Arcee cry out.

"Ahhhh!" She cried out while her hand changed back and she turned to the origin point of the blast. "Who dares?!"

"It would seem your old friend has arrived." remarked Optimus while they saw several vehicles come onto the scene, one of them a white and blue colored helicopter above them with a blaster aimed out from under it's cockpit.

BAM!

BAM!

Arcee growled before dropping the organic and charged at the helicopter, using her legs to jump and slash at the vehicle. "Come down and fight!"

"_Nope._" said a calm voice that sounded a little nervous. "_I'm not crazy like you._"

"Oh I'm gonna enjoy ripping your spark chamber and crushing it in front of you!"

Jack gasped for air while seeing blood dripping from his mouth, before getting blasted a few feet by a stray blast. "Ah!" he rolled on the ground and groaned in intense pain.

The battle raged on before the human noticed the helicopter blasting Arcee away and caused a rope to fall towards him.

"_Hurry and climb up, and don't get my insides filthy!_"

"Ugh…" he let out, but reached out and grabbed the bottom of it as tight as he could.

The rope went quickly into the helicopter while Bumblebee saw this and attempted to blast them out of the sky.

BAM!

Only to get hit by some missiles from a gold and white fighter jet.

"_I won't allow you to do such an underhanded tactic!_"

Bumblebee went flying while Jack finally got inside the helicopter.

"_Hold on organic._" It said before flying away from the battle. "_And don't touch anything! I just had an energon bath!_"

"Uh...w...who….?"

"_Just stand there and don't try and touch me!_"

Jack looked very confused before seeing Arcee trying to slash at the tail.

"RAH! You coward!"

The chopper flew away while more blasts and missiles rained down.

'What is going on?!' Jack thought.

(Away from the battle)

He looked out the window while noticing that there were no trees, mountains or any animal life, just a large expanse of desert that went on for miles. He rubbed his head while questioning if this was all real or just some frostbite induced hallucination.

"_We are almost at the base, but can you stop breathing on my optics?! I can't clean that!_"

Jack moved back before seeing a large ocean coming from the east, which looked devoid of life except for algae.

"_Soundwave, open a space bridge._"

"_Fine._" Said a voice that sounded unusually high pitched and annoying. "_Opening a space bridge now._"

"Wait, Soundwave?" spoke Jack, now on high alert before a space bridge appeared in the air which the chopper went through before it closed behind them.

(Elsewhere)

And caused them to appear in a gold and red ship that seemed to be partially damaged.

That and it was on the sea floor itself!

The chopper landed on the ground while Jack felt very nervous. He looked around and noted they were in some kind of hangar.

"_Get out, just be careful of any fluids you might be leaking._"

"What are you talking about?" He asked before seeing the blood. "Oh…"

"_You didn't! EW!_"

"Sorry." he spoke as the cockpit opened up and he climbed out with a wince. As he looked around, he noticed that the entire ship was no ordinary ship….but the Nemesis itself, if it had a new paint job. 'What the...ok now I'm losing it.' he rubbed his head while the chopper transformed behind him without him noticing. "I'm in a coma, or having a crazy dream, that's gotta be it."

"Ew ew ew ew!" A figure gagged while jumping up and down. "So much organic fluids! I need a bath, NOW! Ew ew ew!"

Jack tensed up hearing the voice, one he definitely knew, and slowly turned his head.

And saw Arachnid, but with white and blue colors, pink tips on her legs, shorter spikes, with blue eyes, a softer expression on her face and had a giant sized chest plate, similar to a D cup chest, and hips that made her look more human like, although she was also a little shorter then the fembot Jack knew. And she was jumping around with a disgusted look in her eyes while trying to gag the blood out of her body.

"I-GAG! Hate-GAG! ORGANIC-GAG! FLUIDS!"

Jack looked at her, utterly floored, and held up a finger. "Uh...are you ok?"

"NO!" She gagged. "I have your fluids in my body! And it tastes nasty, gag!"

'Ok….that's kinda weird!' he thought, lost and started to back up. 'But my chance to get away. If she's here, that means-'

"Are you ok organic?" said a voice that sounded...familiar, except without the sleaziness.

Jack stopped and gulped. "Uh...yeah, just...lost."

"How so? Did those disgusting bots break anything important?"

"No, no no no, just fine and dandy."

"I beg to differ, I'm gonna need an oil bath just to get the taste out of my mouth!" Arachnid gagged. "And an energon bath!"

"Um…"

"Do you want Knock Out to inspect your injuries? He is the best medic here...and a skeptic on everything else." remarked the person as Jack looked up to see Starscream, except his optics were blue and calm, where as the grey color to him was replaced with a more platinum color with a hint of gold and red on the sides, with the wings being blue and having the regular missiles on his arms, with the fingers actually more rectangular and less pointed.

"..." he slapped himself on the cheeks. "This is a dream! This is a dream! This is a dream!"

"A dream?" spoke Starscream confused while crouching down as Jack shook his head. "What do you mean? Why are you attacking yourself?"

"It's a dream!" He yelled. "Cons aren't good!"

"...is this some kind of organic ritual?"

"I think this one is broken."

"Yes." Said a voice while walking towards them, revealing Soundwave, who looked skinnier with dark red and white armor, five tentacles on his back, a pair of orange eyes on his monitor and a small mouth, with only a single horn on his head that curved inwards as his fingers were shorter and less like claws. "And personally he looks like a half dead scraplet."

"Hey! Don't bring those things up. I don't wanna remember the infestation." shivered Airachnid.

"Yeah yeah."

Jack paled before doing something logical.

CRASH!

Faint.

"..."

"..."

"Told you it was a half dead scraplet."

(Later on)

"Ugh…" Jack groaned while looking around and saw he was on an operating table, unrestrained.

"Organics. Why do they have to have more complicated parts than a normal cybertronian?"

Jack blinked his eyes to try and focus while noting a large lense hovering above him with a blue optic looking through it and right at him.

"Mmmm, perhaps some energon transfusion? Nah, might cause it to explode...like the last one." 'Never again!'

"AHHHHHHHH!" screamed Jack scrambling away.

"Hey hey, calm down. Your skeletal structure is still repairing itself, we don't need you bleeding again."

He coughed up blood.

"Not again."

Jack gripped at his shirt as the lense was moved away and he saw it was Knock Out, only the red color was replaced with green while dark blue lines went down his arms and legs, had blue optics, with normal looking fingers and looked less angular as his right optic was seemily replaced with a set of green and white lenses with a hint of rusting on the large jagged tears around the socket.

"Please don't move around too much, unless you WANT to expire early." He said while Jack tried not to scream again. "Besides, you are needed for questioning. Unless of course you have amnesia."

"I...I...I…" he stuttered while trying not to faint.

"Oh joy, this one is broken."

"I-I'm not broken! You are!"

"...what?" He blinked while his lenses moved closer to the human. "How pray tell am I the broken one here?"

"You...well….all of you!"

"..." he looked to the nearby computer terminal and typed out loud. "Subject seems to be suffering from the organic condition called PTSD, will attempt to use more calming stimuli upon subject-"

"I don't have PTSD."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!" Jack snapped. "I'm not suffering from anything!"

"You could fool me, from what Starscream, the annoying Uniconist he is, told me, you actually thought those bots were good, among other things we acquired from Soundwave's hacking."

Jack groaned and rubbed his head while shaking it. "Look, can you just answer me this? What's going on? Where am I?"

"Earth, you should know that by now." He deadpanned. "And you just entered a war between the Decepticon Knights of Unicron, or Decepticons, and the Autonomous Bots of the Cybertronian Empire dictates by Primus, or Autobots."

"But….that doesn't make sense. I mean, you shouldn't look like that. You should be red, and a stickler for being clean."

"..." he turned to him. "Did you suffer from brain damage? Why would I be red or for that matter, a cleaning expert? I have to amputate limbs for a living."

Jack groaned in frustration. "Because that's who you are! Why else would I be here unless you had some sick and twisted idea for me?"

"You're here because Airachnid brought you here, and I was just trying to come up with a way to fix you without causing more harm."

"Let me guess, so she can skin me alive?"

"No, she hates touching organics so why would she do something so...primitive?"

"Because that's what gets her kicks off."

"No, she's a shy fembot, not whatever you think she does."

"I know what she's like, along with you."

"...what?"

"I don't know what your plan is, but I'm not falling for whatever….this is."

Knock Out shook his head before typing on the screen. "Soundwave, call Megatron to the sickbay."

"_Already done, he's on his way._"

Jack paled in horror. 'Shit!'

"So." Knock Out said while pulling out some cards. "Are you a card fan? Black Jack? Go Fish?"

"Uh...you know, I left my cards at home, I'll go get them." he stood up with difficulty and tried to make his way near the edge of the table.

Only for him to pick him up and carefully placed him on the table.

"Don't, or you might bleed out, again." Knock Out started shuffling the cards. "We'll play a game before Megatron shows up."

He groaned while resigning to his fate.

(Some time later)

Jack groaned as he lost, again, at Old Maid.

"You're not very good at this."

"Of course not."

"I guess Miko was telling another lie." He sighed. "Oh well, at least I know now that humans are not always lucky at card games."

"Wait, what was that?"

"That your species is bad at luck? I may be a skeptic on intangible things, but luck is-"

"No, I mean about Miko. She's here right now?"

"Yes, training with Breakdown. Why?"

"Show me."

"Not until Megatron sees you."

"No, show me now."

"I will not falter to an organic with PTSD."

"I do not have PTSD!"

The sickbay doors opened as Jack felt so confused, and mad, mostly mad.

"Ah, Megatron." Knock Out said with a smile. "Thank you for coming."

"Well I am glad, but how is the health of the human?"

"More or less one hundred percent."

Jack blinked while seeing the being, which made him very confused. They resembled Megatron, but the jagged spikes and claws were gone while the helmet around his head was more rounded out without any sharp teeth, with a smaller cannon on his arm, with four long chopper wings on his back and a single tail on his left arm that looked similar to a shield with the inverse emblem on its front.

He looked at him with a warm smile. "Welcome human, to the _Genesis_, the last hope for an independent Cybertron and a peaceful one at that."

Jack looked at this Megatron while not finding him threatening, at all.

"Are you ok? Has the Autobots destroyed anything important?"

"Uh...no?"

He looked at him. "Are you sure?"

"No! I'm...I'm so confused!"

"Calm down." Megatron said. "Take a deep breath and explain to me your woes."

"Where do I ever start? I get sucked through the ground bridge, see my friends who wanna kill me, wind up here by a bot who I know wants my head, and now….all this!"

"Mmmm." He tapped his chin. "Perhaps we should let Soundwave show you the ship's archives...or do you want me to ask Breakdown to tell the story with what you humans call, Muppets?"

"Don't." Knock Out whispered. "It takes ten of your earth days to do the prologue."

"Look, Knock Out mentioned Miko's name, is she here or not?"

"Yes, she is our weapon's expert after all."

"...what?!"

"Apprentice weapon's expert." Megatron clarified. "She has a few more cycles before she could utilize one of our weapons, even if it's against our code."

"Where is she?"

"Training, somewhere in East Dakota I believe."

"Ugh!" Jack groaned in frustration.

"Shall I show you the archives now or later human?"

Jack coughed out blood while fainting again.

"Oh not again."

(Two hours later)

Jack groaned while getting poked on the face.

"Weird organic." a voice said while sounding curious. "Think it'll pull through?"

"Nah." said a VERY familiar voice. "But if he does, I'm so going to give him a wedgie."

"Oh Miko, you really should stop that, especially when you made Raf lose all his undergarments the last time you did that."

"He's an easy target."

"...ugh…."

"Shh, he's waking up."

Jack groaned while opening one eye, and saw a bright green optic staring at him. "...AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Sounds like he's doing ok."

"AHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Can you shut him up?! My hearing is on the fritz!"

"AHHHH-"

SMACK!

"OW!"

"There!"

Jack groaned in pain before noticing a familiar face, that being Miko, but she was about three years older with a sizable D cup chest and large ass, with pink hair and black highlights, wearing black and white pants, a pink shirt with a skull on it, and had a large burn mark in the middle of her face. "Miko…?"

"Um yeah, but how did you know that?" she asked with a raised eyebrow while standing up. "You some kinda weirdo or something?"

"No….I mean I know you…"

"Yeah, and I'm a bot lover."

Jack groaned before noticing that he wasn't alone in the room. He noticed another bot near the table, that being Breakdown, except his face was the usual red, but the armor was instead gray camo instead of blue with green optics, with a skinnier frame and had several blasters on his shoulders.

"Are you fine or do you need another slap? Because Miko here is one slag of a slapper."

Jack groaned. "No, I'll be ok."

"Good." Miko smirked. "Because Megatron told me to get you to the command center, a big meeting I heard."

"But I've got so many questions."

"Just get up and come." Miko deadpanned. "Or I'm going to drag you there myself."

Jack gulped before getting up.

(At the command center)

Jack gulped while finding himself near the cons, including Arachnid, who was trying to move away from him, as he tried to not scream again. 'Ok Jack, just remain cool and wait before you can get started getting answers.'

As he looked around, he saw what looked like Raf, but he was taller, bald, and wearing a surgeon's attire as he wasn't wearing any glasses.

Jack was about to call out to him when Megatron walked towards them.

"I'm glad everyone made it. We have a few important matters to discuss." He said while pointing to Jack. "The main priority is this human, who nearly died from the tyrannical Autobots iron grip."

"What? What were you doing with them? Those guys are bad news." frowned Miko.

"They are the…" he muttered. "Good guys."

"...are you high?" she slapped herself. "Who in the world would think those guys are the good guys?"

"Well…." he gulped. "Me?"

"...welp!" Miko groaned. "He's high, Raf, get him into rehab stat!"

"I'm NOT high!" he frowned. "I know what I'm talking about, it's all of you who don't make sense." he spoke gesturing to the bots. "Miko, you weren't older than me, Raf, you're not bald and shorter, and the Decepticons are NOT the kind to care about humans."

All of them looked at the other while very confused.

"What?" Arachnid asked in confusion. "Just...what?"

"I'm lost." remarked Knock Out.

"For once." Starscream said. "I concur with you."

Jack looked at them in disbelief and confusion as he tried to figure out what was going on here, and failing due to his stress. "Oh come on! Starscream, you always use any underhanded tactics to win, and Knock Out? You're obsessed with keeping your paint job clean."

They looked lost while Starscream looked mildly annoyed at the remark made to his honor.

"And Breakdown, you were turned into a MECH zombie!"

"...I was what?!" He looked at himself in horror. "Oh Unicron! Miko, zombies are real...get the shotgun!"

"You're not a zombie." Miko facepalmed. "He's just making up worse lies then me, and I'm the queen of lies."

"It's the truth. Like how you weren't friends with Breakdown, but Bulkhead. And Raf? You're best friends with Bumblebee."

"Why would I be allies with the serial killer robot?" Raf asked in anger. "The one that killed my family with its wheels?!"

Jack reeled back hearing that while seeing Raf look furious.

"I'd sooner kill myself by guzzling Dark Energon than even consider that piece of scrap a friend!"

"Um…." Jack moved away from him and looked at Arachnid. "And you are trying to kill-"

"I never met you before, and I'm a pacifist." She sweatdropped. "Been one for ages." 'Yuck! His breath is on my leg!'

"So….you never once had a collection of alien heads?"

"EW!" She gagged. "No, why should I even do that for Unicron's sake?!"

"Something is wrong here." spoke up Megatron. "You seem familiar with us, but all of what you've said has never once happened. I can assure you from my spark that we are doing our best to stop Optimus and try to restore Cybertron to what it once was."

"Yes." Starscream added. "Before the mockery of an empire formed, and turned the name of Prime into one of depravity and despair."

Jack blinked while feeling very conflicted.

"Want the full history?" Soundwave asked. "Or Breakdown's puppet show version?"

"Go with the history." whispered Knock Out.

"Aw." Breakdown huffed. "But the puppets were so entertaining."

"And long." whispered Miko to Jack.

"I heard."

Soundwave typed on the screen while causing a hologram to appear. "In the beginning there was Primus the Order Bringer and Unicron the Chaos Bringer. These beings used to protect the universe from outside threats, until Primus struck down his brother in cold blood. As he fell, he created the Thirteen Primes, great beings of chaos that went against Primus and destroyed his spark, creating Cybertron from the remains of his shell as our creator went into a deep slumber in the darkest part of the universe."

"Wait, Unicron made the primes?"

"Yes, and for countless eons the primes protected the universe, and Unicron, until." Soundwave showed a younger version of Optimus. "Orion Pax was forged, as unlike the rest of us, he cared for knowledge and power so he can rule over the planet. The archives don't contain anything from before his rise, but Megatron might fill you in more."

Megatron sighed. "We met when I was but a simple gladiator, the both of us wanting to end the corruption within the senate, but while I wanted a unified planet, Orion wanted to form an empire, one that would starve the cosmos of all life and bring 'order' to all the galaxies in this universe. I met him in the graveyard of the primes, where he tried to open the Matrix of Leadership, but as he could not, he destroyed it and caused two parts to escape from it. The dark 'order' entered Orion, while I optioned the light 'chaos', making me half a prime. But...as Orion became the monster Optimus Prime, he declared our brothers traitors and sent us into exile as he created the Cybertronian Empire."

"Ever since then, we've been at war with him and the Autobots." spoke Breakdown.

"We lost many battles." Arachnid frowned. "From space bridges to the very planet we currently exist on. I may be an organic phobic, but the Autobots...they destroyed all life here. All to extract energon and metal for their smelting pits and forges."

"All of which increases their armies every hour." Knock Out sighed. "And since we lost many of our brothers and sisters, both cybertronians and humans, we are the only remaining Deceptions in the universe."

"But...if they ended all life….then how did Miko and Raf survive?"

"Shockwave." Miko frowned. "He saved us as our entire town got overrun by those Vehibots. Got us into a ground bridge before he got killed by Wheeljack."

"Wait what?! How?!"

"A traitor." Raf frowned. "That one...bastard who wanted power and money, sold us off to them and after that, became a bot named Omega Supreme, a giant abomination of man and machine."

"...and who was he or she?" He asked nervously.

"Jack Darby." Both said with venom in their tones.

He went white as a sheep. "Hold on hold on! I'm Jack, but I would NEVER do such a thing!"

"Wait….YOU'RE Jack?"

"Well yes!"

"...are you a hologram?"

"NO! I'm not a machine, I'm a human who's currently going insane!" he spoke while holding his head. "This whole world is like the opposite of my own!"

"..." Miko blinked while looking at Megatron. "Are you sure he's not a bot?"

"Positive."

Jack squatted down and curled up into a ball. "This isn't real, this isn't real, this isn't real…"

"Want me to slap him again?"

"No." Megatron said. "Let him take this all in, he might calm down on his own."

"And if he doesn't?"

"Then we wait." He said calmly. "After all, it was the same thing with you two those cycles ago."

"...true." She admitted sheepishly.

(Later)

Jack groaned while feeling slightly calmer, but still trying to come to terms of what he just heard, especially the fact that here...he was a giant robot thing!

So yeah, he's suffering from PTSD mixed with a hint of insanity right now, but hey, at least he didn't snap right?

"How much longer is he going to be like that?"

"By my estimations." Soundwave said while shrugging. "Until the day Arachnid gets laid."

"Hey!"

"I was joking."

"Slagger." She muttered in annoyance and with a hint of embarrassment.

Miko moved over and nudged Jack with her foot.

"Eh?" He looked up. "What? I'm having a midlife crisis here."

"Then stop, or you're going to go bald like Raf."

"I resent that." Raf deadpanned.

"Well you are."

"I was born with no hair. There's a difference."

"Look, the point is, this copy of Jack needs to snap out of it."

"I agree, and no ice cubes Breakdown."

"You are no fun." said con huffed while looking a little disappointed.

Miko looked at Jack before picking him up. "Snap out of this, now."

"How can I? I'm in some mirror world of my own, and I might be stuck here!"

"Well…." she trailed off. "At least you didn't come here naked right?"

"That's not helping!"

"Well I'm trying!" She huffed. "No need to act like a jackass!"

Both frowned at the other before Raf got in between them.

"Calm down you two, remember what Megatron said about violence."

"Not to start one." Miko sighed in defeat.

"Yes." Raf said while looking at Jack. "You may be a different version of 'him', but you have the heart of a hero, so we can help you get home...eventually."

Jack sighed while feeling his body aching like crazy, plus his mouth was starting to drip blood.

"But first, you need some first aid."

"Good...call…" he got out before fainting again.

(Later on)

Jack grumbled again while covered in bandages, mouth included courtesy of Miko. "Mmmm!"

"There, all fixed up."

"Mmmm!"

"Maybe you should remove the bandage around his face." Raf sweatdropped.

"Nah, besides he was the one that got blood on my shoes." She deadpanned. "That and I like him this way, less talkative and not likely to betray us."

"Mmmmm!"

"Miko."

"What? He might do it again."

"If he did, why did the Autobots attack him?"

"Um...elaborate ruse?" Miko said with uncertainty.

"MMMMMM!"

"Just take it off him."

Miko grumbled before pulling the bandage off.

"Ah! Thank god!"

"Just don't bleed on my shoes or pants." She frowned.

"Consider it done." He said. "But one question."

"What?"

"Do you have any similarities to my friends? Likes? Dislikes, that stuff."

Both raised an eyebrow at that. "Um…."

"I mean my friends from...my world."

"Oh...don't get it." Miko sweatdropped.

"What are you into?"

"Video games." Raf said.

"Quantum physics and guns." Miko smirked. "Among other things."

'Now that's...different.' Jack sweatdropped.

"What about you? What are YOU into?"

"Lots of things, mostly motorcycles."

"Bot lover." Miko frowned. "You had to have a crush on that crazy fembot."

"Uh….just because I like motorcycles doesn't mean that." blushed Jack.

"Yeah, and Arachnid isn't a clean freak." She muttered. "Anyway, your dislike?"

"Cons? I mean the bad ones."

"There is no such thing as a bad con." Raf said. "Only bad bots."

"Not from where I'm from." Jack grumbled. "And YOUR dislikes?"

"I hate chickens." Raf said. "And Miko hates underwear and cons."

"Oi! I don't hate them, I just have a bad skin condition involving lace and silk." She huffed in embarrassment.

"Uh….does that mean…..you know what, nevermind."

Miko stuck her tongue out.

"Yeah, any other questions?"

"Oh. If you're not with the Autobots, who is your guardian?"

"Knock Out." Raf said with a nod. "We have the same interests."

"Breakdown, and yes." Miko smirked before whispering in his ear. "We did 'it'."

"Wait, what's 'it'?"

"Sex dummy." She flicked his head. "What else? Have tea and crumpets?"

"Wait...WHAT?!" He turned red.

"Yep, nine hours long." She winked. "Last night mind you."

And cue Jack getting blood from his nose, and mouth again.

"You should've kept that one under wraps." Raf whispered to Miko.

"Why?" she asked innocently.

"Because he's a virgin."

"I know, but it's fun to tease him for a change, without him blasting me with cannon fire." She grinned as Arachnid walked by. "Hey! Ara, give the boy a good lubing-"

"NO!"

"Aw, it was for fun."

"Not for me." She glared. "I hate organics, especially their germs, so why hug them?!"

"Jeez, someone's in a grouchy mood."

"I just finished an energon bath." She pointed to Jack. "And I can still taste his fluids in my body, gah! Disgusting!"

Jack felt a little hurt at that, along with relieved the conversation changed from sex to cleaning regimens.

Miko smirked. "If you don't like the taste, why is Jack near you huh? Maybe he wants to be your partner?"

"EW/No!"

"I'm sensing some tension. Me and Raf will leave you two alone." She smirked while dragging the boy away. "And don't forget to hug and use some tongue."

"MIKO!" yelled Jack and Airachnid.

But they were out of the room as the two looked at the other in embarrassment.

"..."

"..."

"Um-"

"Don't breathe on me. You might be contaminated with rust."

"Hey, you make it sound like I'm sick, which I'm not."

"Tell me, are you a host to bacteria?"

"Yes-"

"Then you are covered in viruses that are designed to make cybertronians sick, so I will NOT allow you to touch, breathe, or taste me." Arachnid frowned while grimacing a little. "So go away...and lick a wall or something."

"First off, I'm pretty sure you guys are immune to the sickness we humans deal with. Second, humans just don't go off and lick walls. Just how many humans have you interacted with?"

"Besides Miko and Raf, who are always busy with their partners, no one. Because most of the humans on this planet are nearly extinct and living in small pockets near the equator." She gagged. "And I'm not going to go out of my way to have them...sit on my chest in vehicle mode."

"Well not all of us are packed full of germs. Even if we are, have you ever once gotten sick?"

"Yes."

"From what?"

She pointed to her back, revealing a small patch of dried rust. "The rust plague. Not fun for me."

"I mean human based."

"Common cold."

"How did that happen?"

"From an experiment from some crazy 'american general'. He tried to use me as a robotic biological weapon until MECH got me out of it, however I never got his full name. Just the name of a bird." She shrugged. "But needless to say, I still hated that day and I will never get that from anything organic, even you."

"Well I don't have a cold, so you don't have to be so paranoid."

She moved away from him. "Yeah, not trusting you. Unless you take an energon bath...which won't work as you are not a cybertronian, but an endangered primate."

'Ok...that hurt. A lot!' he frowned. "I think I prefer you when you wanted my head on your wall."

"I did, nevermind." She sweatdropped. "I have things to do, including finding Decepticons hiding on earth."

"What do you mean?"

"Our ranks have decreased all the way down to a select few, so I'm just looking for stasis pod signals so I can bring them back to the _Genesis_."

"Why not the Insecticons?"

"Why look for an extinct species?" She asked in confusion. "That would be like trying to get a Predacon to stop helping the Autobots, which is impossible due to them being very intelligent and stubborn."

"So the Insecticons aren't around here?"

"Yes."

"I see…" He said. "This place is so weird."

"And from what I saw earlier." Arachnid said. "You and that Autobot were close."

"Well she is my partner, the good one I mean."

"...the cycle I see a good bot is the day I kiss you." She gagged. "And that will never happen."

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!

The room turned red while Arachnid grumbled.

"Autobots." She sighed while walking quickly away. "Why do they always have to sound that stupid alarm!"

Jack blinked while running after her.

(The command center)

Only for the two of them to see Soundwave turning off the alarm with a sheepish smile.

"Sorry, false alarm." He chuckled. "I kinda was testing out the system and activated the alarms, and on full blast too. He he he...yeah, my bad you two."

'Wow, seeing a Soundwave look embarrassed is something I never thought I'd see. Or just a Soundwave with a look on his face.' Jack thought while Arachnid facepalmed.

"Again?"

"Yep...he he he…"

'Wait what?! Again? This happened more than once?'

"False alarm organic."

"I know." He deadpanned before getting an idea. "Itsy bitsy."

She blinked. "What?"

"You heard me."

"...are you flirting with me? Because that was kinda cute." She admitted with a light blush.

That made Jack blush in return.

Soundwave typed on the computer while the alarms went off again.

"Soundwave."

"It wasn't me this time, this one's for real."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." He pinpointed the signal. "And it's...at a hydroelectric dam somewhere in the Antarctic."

That made Jack very confused as the other cons and humans ran into the command center.

"What's going on? We talking energon?" asked Miko.

"Yes, a big one."

"Wait. Antarctica." Jack said in confusion. "Why there?"

"Because it's a desert with water." Raf said.

"...but it's covered in ice."

"No, China and Brazil are covered in ice. Antarctica and Canada are giant deserts."

"...I'm so confused."

"Blame the bots." Miko frowned. "They changed the environment on us using crazy terraforming devices. All for energon."

"Like every other planet they conquered." Megatron said sadly. "Life extinguished before they could have a chance to truly experience the cosmos."

"That explains some stuff." Jack muttered. "But how can I get home?"

"No idea." Starscream said. "But first, we must secure the energon and prevent the Autobots from contaminating that dam."

"With what exactly?"

"Dark energon." He frowned.

"On organics." Knock Out said while his lense moved back a little. "Dark energon can turn a simple squirrel into a Predacon-like creature within several clicks."

"From where I'm from all it does is poison the body. It almost killed my best friend because of it."

"Who?" Miko asked. "The bot or the other me?"

"Raf."

"...oh." She shrugged. "Nevermind."

"The space bridge is ready and operational." Soundwave said. "But this one's a bit unstable due to our limited energon reserves and the failing systems within the _Genesis_ itself. So try and hurry up before it closes up on you."

"Wait, did you say you guys didn't have space bridges?" Jack asked in confusion.

"Yes, but the _Genesis_ has a built in space bridge drive within it. From before the war mind you." said Knock Out. "So it tends to break down on us."

"Ahem." Breakdown coughed.

"Pardon the expression, but it is true you know."

"For now we best head on our way." spoke Megatron. "Decepticons, advance."

The cons nodded before heading to the space bridge as Jack saw each one transform into a vehicle mode. Which made him surprised and interested as each one seemed to be smoother then the con vehicles he knew, even after seeing Arachnid and Starscream's vehicles first hand.

Breakdown actually becoming a hybrid between a jeep and a monster truck with blasters on the sides.

Knock Out transforming into a dark green and blue ambulance truck with tears on the upper left hand side of the hood.

And the final cybertronian, Megatron, transforming into a giant helicopter like vehicle with a cannon under the cockpit, the shield forming the tail, and had two openings on the sides.

Overall, completely different forms compared to the ones Jack knew of, making him so shocked and in awe.

"I'm coming with." spoke the human.

"_Then come._" spoke Megatron. "_But Airachnid will be the one keeping an eye on you._"

"_NO! Not again!_"

"_Well it only makes sense._" remarked Breakdown.

"_No no no! I'm not-AH!_" She cried out as Jack entered the helicopter cockpit. "_Get out of there! You might have a plague!_"

"Huh." He muttered while jumping up and down on the comfy seat. "Soft."

"_GET OFF MY CHEST!_" Arachnid cried out before the Decepticons started to fly into the space bridge.

(Many hours later)

-Antarctica-

"_I hate this._" Airachnid grumbled while Jack still sat on her 'seat'. "_I really hate this. Are you sure that you're NOT a breeding ground for a plague?_"

"Seriously, you need to stop being so paranoid." frowned Jack. "Humans aren't as infectious as you make us out to be. If anything, your energon could cause a wide spread plague more than what we have on earth."

"_At least I don't get itchy, seriously I can feel you rubbing your posterior on my chest. It's disgusting, like a Scraplet eating a con's dead face! Ew!_"

"Just stop."

"_Then stop trying to make me sick!_"

Both grumbled while the cons flew over a large continent full of desert sand and mountains, both not liking the other but tolerating each other...for now.

"So are you like this normally?"

"_No, I'm not this aggressive. I'm just not comfortable with...organics in my body._" 'GROSS!'

"Well the feelings mutual, especially since the last time I was this close to y...I mean, the Airachnid in my world, she was real eager to web me up and slowly tear me apart."

"_...that's something Arcee would do._" She grumbled. "_To think my fellow con would do that to a human...oh wait. I would, because her circuits have been broken since we were in the force._"

"What? A con?"

"_Yes, we used to be Decepticons that protected our planet, until she decided that the Autobots were more fun and left me on a barren...organic planet! Ew!_" She gagged. "_Slag her to Primus! Calm down...calm down...Unicron will preserve us...ohm...ohm…._"

'Ok, this is….new.' he thought with a raised eyebrow. "So I take it one of your other forms is not a giant spider?"

"_Unicron no! My other form is what you humans call a 'steamboat'. Why would I need to use...organic forms? Ew ew! Too disgusting!_"

"So those extra arms are just for your helicopter form?"

"_Yes, yes they are._"

"I see...and the boat?"

"_Gives me a larger form, but due to mass shifting I can't use it unless I'm in the water or I'll break something from orbit. Last time that happened...nearly crushed Breakdown. And he's still mad about it._" She grumbled as Jack chuckled. "_It's NOT funny!_"

"Well it is for me."

"_We are nearing the dam._" Starscream radioed. "_Prepare for anything and don't get stabbed by Dark Energon harpoons. We don't need another 'zombie outbreak' like last time._"

"Uh….do I even wanna know?"

"_No. Trust me, I almost got scrapped._" Airachnid said while the cons flew towards a giant reservoir full of dark green energon, with a massive fortress like dam towards the northernmost end, constantly spitting out a toxic smog, and was guarded by millions of 'Autobots', but with the features of both Insecticons and Predacons.

"What are those?!"

"_Vehibots, forged by the mad Autobot Ratchet utilizing Predacon and Insecticon CNA. They are capable of spawning within a couple of your earth days._" Megatron spoke up. "_And they are the ones that destroyed most of our forces._"

"My god….Ratchet made those?"

"_Yes, and with that reservoir, he will create an army big enough to slaughter the Decepticons._" Starscream said gravely. "_Decepticons! Get ready for an all blitz attack, and make sure this place is blown all the way to Primus' cold spark!_"

Jack gulped while feeling like his entire core was getting frozen stiff in fear and disbelief. 'I know Ratchet is smart, and this version would be like him, but….that's more than I expected.'

The cons flew towards a maintenance exit before they started firing at the Vehibots.

BOOM!

BOOM!

"_Decepticons! Transform!_" Megatron yelled out while transforming into his robot form and blasted the nearby turret, which sent a few Vehibots flying while others began to transform into giant insectoid dragon like creatures to attack them.

"_Listen, just take cover and don't get killed._" spoke Airachnid when she transformed and set Jack down.

He raced towards a box of energon while getting a very stupid idea.

Find Ratchet or Optimus and get them to see the light.

'Maybe if I can talk to them face to face I can get through to them. On the other side or not, they're still Autobots.' He thought before quickly running into a hallway.

(Later)

And found himself lost in the maze of endless halls as the Vehibots were too busy with the Decepticons to even see an 'organic' like him. The only problem was that he couldn't figure out where the Autobots were.

"This was easier in my head." He muttered while turning a corner and saw a giant mass of machine parts hanging from hooked chains on the ceiling, some looking very much alive.

"AHHHHH!"

"AHHHHH!"

"HELP ME!"

"THE PAIN!"

"AHHHHHH!"

Jack covered his mouth to try and keep from losing it and closed his eyes. He then turned around and saw a large patch of oil and energon oozing from a door on the right side.

"AHHHHHHHHH!"

WZZZZZZZZZZ!

And the sounds of a chainsaw could be heard from within along with the screams of a million unfortunate souls, both cybertronian and organic.

'Oh god, oh jeez. I know I shouldn't, but I have to.' He thought before moving towards the door and looked inside, to reveal a butchery full of test tubes, still breathing lifeforms attached to hooks, and several Decepticons with organic and mechanical parts fused or stitched together in a macabre manner unlike that of a horror movie.

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed a con while getting his face slowly cut off by a figure nearest to the large metal table, it's right arm a giant chainsaw of pure green energy.

"Disgusting." spoke the figure while placing the face of a human over the right optic. "Such impure forms. Don't worry, I will fix that right up."

"You'll p-AHHHHHHH!"

"Oops." He said smugly while 'accidentally' pulling out an optic. "Clumsy me."

The optic went flying as it landed near Jack's feet.

"I will replace that later."

Jack gasped before covering his mouth. He really started to feel sick seeing it staring at him before he couldn't hold it in and puked on the floor.

That was when the figure revealed himself, which was Ratchet, but his entire body was wrapped with his face covered in metal that obscured his face sans his dark green optics, a large black right arm covered in animal bones with spider like fingers, two legs similar to an elephant with talons, a left arm that was dark red and black, and had the body type of a wingless Predaking, but with long thick tubes around the emblem that seemed to be pumped full of dark green energon, who turned around and looked for the 'intruder'.

"Who was that?" He said. "If it's you Omega Supreme, your next tune up isn't until tomorrow."

'He must mean the evil me?' wondered Jack who ducked around the corner.

Ratchet looked to the sides before walking towards the door. "Mmmm, looks like this base has rats in it. No matter, I will get it into a new perfect body within the cycle."

Jack gulped before seeing the foot move right next to him.

Ratchet looked to the left before his right optic glowed a blue color as the camera began to show the world in ultraviolet and then infrared as he saw Jack's body heat. "Ah. A human." He then looked down at Jack with an evil smirk. "Perfect, I'm running out of humans for my practice."

'AHHHH!' thought Jack who quickly backed up with his hands out. "Ratchet wait! It's me, Jack."

He moved a boney finger at Jack while seemingly playing with him. "Jack. Jack, oh. You mean Omega Supreme. How interesting, you somehow ripped your upper torso out of your metal frame." The boney finger poked Jack on the chest. "You shouldn't be functioning."

'Oh shit!'

"Looks like I have to place you back in your body. This time removing your limbs and replacing them with hooks, maybe even electrical wire. Might even fix the constant fluid backup." He said with a dark chuckle as Jack ran under the bot's legs. "You can't escape perfection organic. I will get you."

"Ratchet listen to me! Doing stuff like this isn't you! You're better than this." He yelled out before seeing the bot running after him.

"Oh I am better. I am a god." He chuckled while his chainsaw arm turned into a large hooked chain that nearly caught Jack by the neck if he didn't duck and hightailed it down the hallway. "And I will have my component!"

"AHHHHHH!" Jack screamed while running for cover, and his life.

As he ran, the human noticed that one corridor was similar to the base back in his world, to be more precise, the hallway leading to the command center where Optimus would explain missions.

'This way!' Jack thought before sliding into the room and began blocking it with some chairs.

But what he didn't know was that Arcee and Optimus were in the room, and they were very confused/amused at his antics and 'dying' to see him again, emphasis on the dying part.

"Ah...ah...I think I lost...him…." He panted while Arcee grabbed him tightly. "GAH!"

"Ah the human, how WONDERFUL to see you again!" She cackled while looking like a cat with its prey. "I was worried I wouldn't get another chance at you, but it looks like luck is on my side."

He gasped in pain.

"Time to squish you-"

"No." Optimus interrupted. "Let him live, for a moment."

Arcee frowned hearing that, but lightened her grip slightly. "Yes sir."

Jack gasped for air as Optimus walked towards him.

"Now that I see you." He said while Arcee let him down. "I recognize your face as my ultimate weapon, Omega Supreme. But unless I'm mistaken, you are not him."

"No, I'm human." spoke Jack while trying to catch his breath. "Optimus, I know you don't know me. Or at least this version of me, but I know who you are. You used to be Orion Pax, before you changed."

He chuckled at that. "Orion Pax? How ignorant you are human."

Jack looked confused. "What-"

"That life was my best." He smirked. "After all, I did take control of my own world and become Prime. All thanks to Primus."

"No! I mean the good version!"

"There was no good version." He smirked. "Only the one you stand before, the TRUE ruler of Cybertron."

"No, that's not the real Optimus Prime." Jack shook his head firmly. "You can't look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't feel something for all the lives taken in this war."

Optimus laughed and held Jack right up to his optics without hesitating. "Every single one of them was just a means to an end. An end that will come with me ruling Cybertron, and I will snuff out as many sparks it takes to get there."

"N-No! You-You can't! You're a Prime!"

"Primes are heralds of Primus, thus I bring his will." He formed a energon blade from his right arm. "And he decrees, destruction upon all that stands in my way!"

Jack paled as the blade nicked his face, causing boiling blood to fall from the cut.

"And once I dispose of you, I will let Ratchet study your body and perhaps, just perhaps, find out where you came from." He smirked. "After all, I need more worlds to conquer for my empire. Yours will be the stepping stone in that soon to be realized reality."

'Oh god! He's not joking! There's no hesitation at all!' thought Jack, finally seeing that this was NO WAY in any form the Optimus he knew.

As the 'Prime' pushed the blade deeper into the human's skin-

BOOM!

CRASH!

The doors blasted right at Arcee while sending her flying as Megatron stepped in with a blade of green energon and his cannon aimed at Optimus.

"Prime." He said with a frown. "Unhand the human, at once."

"Sorry Megatron, but I don't think a corpse is good for you." remarked Optimus while digging the blade in harder with Jack's cheek, making him scream with wide eyes at feeling the searing pain.

Megatron stiffened.

"Drop your weapon, and I might let this organic live." He smirked. "Or do you want another organic on your bloody hands, Megatronus."

"You'd stoop to any low Optimus."

"I learned from the best." He pushed the blade deeper. "Now on the ground, now!"

Megatron relented before placing his blade down.

"Cannon too."

Megatron frowned before detaching his cannon and set it on the floor while Arcee got up and looked angry.

"You little slag!"

"Now if you excuse me." Optimus smirked before throwing Jack at Arcee and transformed into vehicle mode as he flew away. "_I will take my leave! Arcee! Destroy them and this base, we're done here!_"

"With pleasure." she smirked catching Jack while bringing her blade out. "Megatron, I will rip your spark out!"

Jack groaned as Arcee raced towards Megatron and grabbed his blade, attempting to slice and dice him with his own weapon. He then noticed he was right near a circuit that could cause paralyzation and got an idea.

"I've wanted to rip you apart for eons!" She cackled while Megatron used his shield to defend himself.

"You foul bot, you dare to attack the one that gave your protoform life? Again!?"

"You were a means to an end! Optimus taught me that!" Arcee grinned before Jack got out of her grasp and began to play around with her chest plate. "Get out of there!"

"Sorry Arcee, but that's not happening!" He yelled before ripping out some cables.

She gasped before feeling her body becoming numb and unresponsive as she fell to the ground with a thud, releasing Megatron's blade in the process. "Y...Yo...u…."

"I'm sorry. You left me no choice." Jack said sadly while Megatron placed his weapons back on his person.

She glared before one of her optics turned green.

"_Self destruct process activates. Base 2-3 will explode in ten minutes. Nine….eight…._" said a computer system while Arcee cackled with a maniacal tone.

"Shit!"

"We have to flee!" Megatron called to Jack while transforming into vehicle mode. "_Jump on!_"

"_Six...five…_"

Jack looked at the downed Arcee and bit his lip while gripping his hands. "But Arcee, she can't move!"

"_Three…_"

"_We have no time!_" Megatron called out. "_This base will blow us up very soon!_"

"But…."

"_Jump in!_"

"_Two…_"

Jack quickly jumped in as the helicopter flew out of the base.

KABOOOOOOOOM!

Just as the base was turned into a giant crater of energon….which soon began to turn into a vortex of energon similar to the one that sent the human to this reality, but instead of purple, it was dark green.

"_Hang on!_" Megatron called out before safely landing away from the vortex, where the other cons were busy fixing their wounds, which was a lot given they attacked a very large base a few minutes ago.

Jack stared out the window, not even noticing when the door opened as he looked down at his lap. "..."

"That was something." Airachnid muttered looking at the vortex. "Hopefully this doesn't destroy the planet."

"Agreed." Starscream nodded in agreement. "Soundwave, what are your scans showing on this?"

"Yes, and from the internal structure and the lack of energon exhaust, this is a one way space bridge, no. This is a dimension bridge, just like the one the human came out of, after reviewing the data from the last position of the Autobots." Soundwave said while examining the vortex. "And it seems to be stable, for now."

"Does that mean Jack can go through it?"

"Possibly, as long as he goes now before the energon laced field doesn't get converted onto the more lethal Plutonium-240." He said. "Or worse, an Autobot or Vehibot goes through before it closes."

"So I can go home." spoke Jack, feeling hope light up inside.

"Yes." Knock Out said. "But I suggest you hurry, or you might become one of us, if you so choose it that is."

Jack looked at the vortex and took a step forward, but stopped, much to their confusion.

"What's wrong? Aren't you happy?"

"Yeah…." he trailed off before turning to the others. "Look, I'm gonna be honest. Meeting you all, and the Autobots of this world….it was a lot to take in. I honestly never imagined I could see my friends as the bad guys, or good Decepticons. But, all of you...I'm gonna be rooting for you all. You all are way different than the cons I've met, and I think it's a good thing." he smiled and chuckled a little. "Never thought I'd say that to be honest."

"But it is welcomed." Megatron said. "And if you somehow return to our reality, you and your allies are welcome under the Decepticon banner."

"Just don't try to do anything stupid." Starscream warned. "Like mistaking your unjust versions of us as your allies."

"I'm not that dumb." He sweatdropped as Airachnid moved closer to him. "Let me guess, gonna say something about me being covered in germs? Because if so-"

Chu.

He turned bright red as the fembot kissed him and started gagging a little.

"Yuck." She muttered before turning to him with a huff. "Just keep your planet safe or I'm going to regret doing that...ew." 'Gross!'

"Uh….sure." 'Where'd that come from?'

The vortex started to fluctuate while sucking everything inside its giant maw.

"The vortex is closing!" Soundwave yelled. "Hurry or you will be trapped here forever!"

"Crap! Good luck to you all!" he called before he started running.

FLUSH!

(Elsewhere)

And went flying into the vortex again, as this time he was shot into the unknown like a bullet.

-Dimension 555-2 TP, Autobot Base-

Arcee paced around the room while looking stressed, angry and concerned at the same time. "Optimus we need to find Jack, now!"

"I know Arcee, but Ratchet is still working on the ground bridge."

"Well when is he gonna be done? Jack could be who knows where!"

"Maybe in Candy Land?" Miko said while also concerned, only to see a green portal opening up behind Arcee.

CRASH!

SQUISH~

And cue a very familiar boy getting stuck in her cleavage as the portal suddenly closed on its own.

"Mmmmph!" Jack got out before Arcee pulled him out. "Ahhh! Oh god! That was...ah! Evil Arcee!"

"Jack? What's wrong?"

He flinched. "Are you going to slice me?" 'I hope this isn't a WORSE place, like evil Autobots by the trillions or something!'

She raised an optic at that. "Why would I do that?"

He looked carefully at her before he started to tear up and he hugged her finger. "I'm home! I-I'm finally home with a good and not crazy Arcee! Yahoo! I'm HOME!"

Arcee was caught off guard, but smiled and tried giving him a hug. "That's right Jack, you're home."

As he hugged the fembot, Miko and Raf looked at each other in confusion.

Jack felt his heart warm up while feeling very happy right now. He moved back and sniffled. "Arcee, you wouldn't imagine what happened to me."

"Well we'd all like to know. We were worried sick."

"Well, it's a very strange story and well, I will never joke about Decepticons again."

That got them very confused as Jack began his tale of interest.

(Elsewhere)

-Dimension 9991-3 40 TSG, unknown location-

In the dark void of space, we see nothing but blackness as we see the ancient planet of Cybertron, the camera zooming deep into the core as a dark platinum object obscured the lense.

Rumble...rumble….

The core began to shake as a dark green optic looked at the viewers, full of cold hard logic, as we see a portal opening up near the surface of the planet, a figure looking on with anticipation. "**...I...open the way….go...my acolyte…**"

"It shall be done my lord." said the figure before entering the portal.

-MECH HQ-

And appeared in the ruins of MECH, the portal closing as the sun illuminated the figure's form.

"So this is Earth huh? Well it won't matter what it's called after my lord is done with it." they smirked with glowing green optics, as it's revealed to be a Ultra Magnus, but covered in thick platinum armor that seemed to shimmer in the sunlight, with dark gold angelic wings, a giant silver hammer sword with a strange horned emblem on the sides, and taloned fingers. "And soon, all Cybertronians shall fall."

The figure took flight while saying to himself.

'One shall stand, all shall fall.'


	9. Chapter 9

List of oneshots part 4

chapter 9

Sequel to chapter 161 in part 3

xxxxxxxxxxxx

'Ugh….my head.' Thought KO with a groan as he began to regain consciousness. 'It feels like a drum.' He thought as he tried to sit up only to bang his head on something metal. 'Ow!' he held his head and let out a whimper. 'That hurt!'

"Hey little guy, finally awake, huh?" Called a voice, making KO pause as he looked up to see a cage door and the dog catcher looking at him through the bars.

'Huh? Oh great, I'm back here.' He thought with a low groan that came out as a growl.

"Huh, I guess your last owner was pretty rough on you, huh?"

"Arf arf." He barked as he shook his head.

"Well don't you worry little guy, I'll make sure the next people who adopt you are good people, no matter what!" He smiled with a thumbs up before leaving KO alone.

'Not again, why can't I catch a break? I just want to go home to mom!' He thought crossing his arms. 'She's probably worried sick about me.' He thought as he leaned against the wall of the kennel. 'I just hope I don't have to wait too long for a chance to escape.'

The dog catcher put up the sign for free dogs while a bit away was Enid's parents making their way past the building with Whilamena having a parasol over herself to shield her from the sun.

"This is nice, it's been too long since we've been able to take a walk like this."

"Yeah, with the boys away at boarding school and Enid staying with Rad while she looks for her friend we have a lot of free time, huh?"

"Yeah, just wish it wasn't so bright out." She said with a small groan. "Is it ok if we duck inside somewhere for a bit?"

"Sure thing." He said as they quickly ducked into the pet shelter. He looked around while his wife put away her parasol and groaned. "Oh great, it had to be one of these places."

"Hello ma'am, si- loose animal!" Called Max as he saw the two.

"No, no, no, werewolf, not an animal!" He spoke with his hands out as the dog catcher reached for a net. "I have my papers right here! Stay cool, alright?"

"Oh, sorry." he spoke dropping the net while the werewolf pulled out a certificate. "My bad, I've been a little worked up these past few days."

"I can tell." Wilhamena said with a frown.

"Yeah, this little puppy I found got adopted by the wrong person and got shot off in a rocket. So, enough about that, are you two looking for a pet? Today all dog adoptions are free."

"Uh no thanks, we just came in here to get out of the sun." Spoke up Bernard.

"You sure? There's no harm in taking a look, right?"

"Hmmm, well….one little look couldn't hurt." Admitted Wilhamena.

"Great, then just let me show you the animals." He said as he led them towards the back.

"Honey I'm not so sure about this." Remarked Bernard in a whisper. "This is a 'normal' pet shop. They don't even have giant spiders in the front."

"I know, I know, but we're taking shelter from the sun here for a bit, the very least we can do is humor the owner. Besides, we might find something of interest." She said as he nodded hesitantly.

With KO he was nearly asleep before he began to hear Max approaching. His ears perked up before he sat up straight and looked at the window. 'What's going on out there?'

"So, over here we have our canines, they vary in age from around a few months old to around ten years, but their age is on a sheet next to their kennel so don't worry about that for now."

"Let me guess, you muzzle them, right?" asked Bernard with his arms crossed.

"Oh no, not at all, only when they have a history of violence." Spoke Max before stopping outside the door. "In here is the puppy I mentioned before."

"Aw, he's so cute!" Wilhamena cooed as KO instantly perked up.

'Enid's mom? Yes! If she adopts me then Enid will find and recognize me, I'll be able to go home!' He thought with a smile. 'Hey, over here, choose me!' Thought KO who tried jumping against the door and gave out some barks.

"Aw, look at this little guy honey!" cooed Wilhamena with Bernard looking away with a pout.

"Yeah, yeah... it's cute, can we go now? I hate being in places like this!"

"Oh don't be like that. Why don't we adopt this one? He sure looks like he'd be perfect to have in the house."

'Yes, adopt me, that way I can talk to Enid!'

"Are you sure honey?" Bernard asked as scratched his chin. "I thought we weren't going to adopt? Plus I don't know if he'd be comfortable at our place."

"I know what the plan was, but just look at him, he would fit right in, plus with your new job starting he could keep me company."

"Well...I'm just not sure. It'd feel weird to adopt a dog. Why not that parrot? It looks tasty, I mean friendly!" He corrected while pointing to a parrot in a nearby cage.

"That's the reason why, our house isn't... safe for animals that look like food." She remarked with a hand on her hip while her husband groaned and slumped his shoulders.

"Ok fine, we'll adopt him."

"Great! He'll fit right in at home, it'll be like we have another little one running around." She smiled before looking at the dog catcher. "Excuse me, we'd like to adopt that little fella, the excited one."

"Really? Great! Now I just need you to sign this, this and this, and do you want to schedule an appointment to get him fixed?" He asked with a smile. 'Alright, you're getting a new home little guy!'

"Oh, there's no need to worry about that, no female dogs near our house for miles. Besides, he's just a puppy."

"Ok, just wanted to make sure, and what about the large dog behind you wearing a shirt and pants?"

"That's my husband." She frowned.

"Ah, so no fixing then?" He asked as the werewolf growled. "Right, I'll just shut up and get you a leash for the little guy." He said as he began to head to the back. "I'll even throw in a chew toy for free for the mix up, ok?"

"This always happens." Grumbled Bernard while Wilhamena patted his back.

"There there honey, I'll make it up to you when we get home, ok?"

He let out a sigh and nodded. "Alright dear."

"Good, now let's get that little cutie."

"Um, ma'am? Quick question, what do you wanna call him?"

"Hmmm, that's a good question." she tapped her chin. "What do you think Bernard?"

"Well...oh! How about Rover? After my great uncle?"

"Oh! That's perfect! I love it honey." She smiled while the dog catcher moved over and opened the door with a leash.

"Alright boy, let's get you to your new family."

'Yes! Go on, give me to them so I can see Enid!' He thought with a pant and let the leash go on his collar and was lead out and over to the two with Wilhamena rubbing his head.

"Aw, who's a good boy, who's a good boy Roger?"

"Arf arf!" He barked happily as he licked her cheek.

"Come on, you're gonna love your new home." She said as they began to lead him out of the door, opening her parasol before walking into the sun. "Let's head home Bernard."

"Works for me." He remarked as they made their way away while Max himself sighed in relief.

"It's so good to see a dog get adopted….wait, did I give them the free chew toy?" He mused as he shook his head. "If they don't come back for it then it's fine."

(Enid's house)

"Alright Rover, this is your new home!" Wilhamena said as they opened the door. A loud creak was heard followed by a random flash of lightning with KO not phased.

'Oh boy, things are really gonna turn out for the better now.' He thought as he tugged on the leash to head inside. 'Enid, where are you? It's me, KO!'

"Just no marking your territory." Spoke up Bernard quickly. "I don't wanna have to fight for it back."

"And I don't want to clean up any more 'markings'." Wilhamena said as she lightly hit his arm. "So, what do you think, Rover?"

'Where's Enid, where is she?' He thought as he tried to run off into the house, but due to the leash and collar he was stuck with Wilhamena.

"Easy there boy, you'll have plenty of time to look around. I just wanna make sure you don't get lost by accident." She said with a chuckle. "There are more than a few...hazards in my home for a normal puppy like you."

KO turned and shook his head before standing up and started waving his arms around while barking.

"Aw, look at that Bernard, he thinks he's a person." Chuckled Wilhamena as KO lost his balance and fell down.

"Probably trying to copy other people walking." Bernard said as he walked past him. "I have to get ready for work, I'll make sure to say goodbye before I leave honey."

"Alright dear."

"Arf arf arf arf!" KO let out while shaking his head. 'No, listen to me, I'm KO, you two have met me before!'

"Relax Rover, I know you're excited and eager, but we just need to say bye to Bernard first." Said Wilhamena as she reached down and picked him up. "Say goodbye to daddy, ok?"

"Arf?" He barked in confusion. 'Daddy? He's not my dad.'

"Alright Wilhamena, I'm heading out." Called the werewolf with a hat on and holding a briefcase.

"Ok, go knock them dead honey!" She called as she pulled him close with one arm and kissed him quickly.

"I'll be back in no time." He smiled before Wilhamena held KO up to him with Bernard putting on a stern expression. "Remember what I said about territory."

'Territory?' He thought in confusion as the werewolf began to walk away and left the mansion. 'Oh! The whole marking territory thing.'

"Welp Rover, time to give you the grand tour." Wilhamena said as she began to pet him as she started to walk forwards.

"Arf arf!" He let out while trying to wiggle from her hold.

"Shhh, shhh, it's ok, I have a good grip on you, I won't drop you." She smiled rubbing his head while he sighed as she went up the stairs.

'I guess I have to wait till after she's done. I just hope it doesn't take too long.' He thought as he stopped struggling. 'Plus she is kind of good at this petting thing.'

"Relax Rover, this won't take too long."

(2 hours later)

"And this is the kitchen, this is where I make all the meals for our family, Bernard would help but I got tired of finding hair in the meals." Wilhamena chuckled as Ko groaned, so bored he was on the verge of falling asleep. "I'll get your food bowl and water bowl set up in here that way you always have a spot to enjoy your meals, and I know a perfect recipe that'll fill you up in no time flat."

'In no time flat huh? Just like how you said this tour would be short?' he thought as he let out a small bark.

"Oh! Is someone getting a bit tuckered out?" She chuckled as she saw him yawn. "Well how about we find you a nice comfortable spot to nap, huh?"

'I….actually a nap does sound pretty good right now.' He relented as he slowly nodded his head. 'One quick nap then I find Enid.'

"Well we don't have a doggy bed right now, but you can use Enid's bed, she's not here at the moment. Oh! I better give her a call and tell her the good news. Oh she'll be so excited to see you."

'Wait, Enid? Yes! Tell her, tell her I'm here and that she has to come see me now!' He thought as he perked up a bit. He let Wilhamena carry him into Enid's bedroom, which looked like it had various witchcraft items and decorations in it, minus the ninja stuff hanging off the wall before he was set on the bed.

"You relax and get some sleep, I'll check up on you later." She said as she rubbed his head. "Night night Rover.'

'Night..night.' He thought as he dozed off and Wilhamena left the room, both unaware that they were being watched. While he curled up and closed his eyes, the vampire made her way to the phone and picked it up before putting in her daughter's number. She waited a bit before the line was finally picked up.

"Hello? Who is it?" Groaned a tired voice.

"Hi Enid, it's me, your mom!" Wilhamena called cheerfully.

"Mom? What is it? I'm kinda busy right now."

"I know, I know, I just wanted to tell you that me and your father adopted a new pet!"

"Yeah, yeah, that's great mom, really great." She replied, sounding very uninterested.

"He's a cute little puppy we found at random at one of those normal shelters. He even has his own little clothes on and he tried standing up like a person. Oh he's so cute!" She gushed. "Oh Enid, you're going to love him!"

"Yeah, uh huh, sounds good mom, gonna have to get back to you later." Enid said before hanging up.

Wilhamena looked at the phone and shrugged before setting it down and walked away. "Oh well, I'm sure she'll change her tune when she meets him." She said with a shrug. "Speaking of which, I should probably look in on him."

Back with KO, he was snoring with his leg thumping on the bed while two ghosts floated down.

"So, we got some fresh meat in the house, huh?" Spoke Crudde with his arms crossed while Spanky had a finger on his chin.

"Yeah, seems like it, and its sleeping in Enid's bed, we were never allowed to do that, so why is he?" He asked with a huff while Crudde smirked.

"Well, I say if this mutt is gonna move in on our turf, we best show him what to expect, you know, show him the ropes."

"Yeah...you're right! And I think I know just how to do it!" Chuckled Spanky before diving into KO.

"That's using your noodle!" Called Crudde before diving in, making KO wake up and sit up with wide eyes. He began to babble wildly before jerking as he felt something in him break.

"Hey, I think you broke something!"

"It wasn't me, I swear!"

"Liar, you're touching it, and it's smoking!"

"Look, the mutt ain't dead so it's fine!"

KO started to bounce around the floor on his head before rolling across it while sticking his tongue out.

"Hey, move over, I wanna control him!"

"Nuh uh, my idea, my right to drive him!"

"You always get to drive!"

"Because I'm the best!"

"Nuh-uh, I am!"

"No, I am!"

"No, I am, tell him Wilhamena!"

"Wilhamena?!" They both cried out seeing the vampire enter the room with wide eyes.

"Wha- Crudde?! Spanky?! What are you doing to Rover?!" She yelled while glaring at them making them stop moving KO and try giving an innocent smile.

"Nothing Wilhamena, nothing at all, this is just me...Rover?" They made KO say nervously.

She narrowed her eyes before moving over, picked KO up, and proceeded to suck the two ghosts out through the mouth before spitting them out at the ceiling, making them go flat and dazed while she set KO down and put her hands on her hips. "You two better have a good reason for taking over Rover's body, and I mean GOOD."

"Well… he was sleeping on Enid's bed! We never get to do that!"

"Yeah! Also we definitely didn't break that chip thing in him!"

"That's be….wait, what chip?" She asked confused. "We didn't have him chipped."

"Oh...uh…. Well we didn't maybe not break whatever chip he did have in him?" Spanky said nervously as KO groaned.

"Ooh. What….arf-ppened?"

"Oh Rover, are you o- wait, did...you just talk?"

"Did….?" He spoke in surprise while touching his neck. "I...can...talk!" He said, the words coming out rough and slightly jumbled. 'Yes! Finally, I can finally talk!'

"Wow this is amazing! And...unexpected." Wilhamena said as she walked over and carefully picked him up. "You're just full of surprises, aren't you?"

"Yep, now take….en….KO!" he said, his voice fading in and out a bit, one moment he was speaking clearly the other it came out as a growl.

"Take? Do you need to go somewhere?"

"Yes, I need….home!"

"But you are home Rover, I know this will take a while to get used to, but this is your new home."

"No! I…..that….home….now." He said, trying to get the words out, but failing. 'Why is this so hard?!'

"Hmmm, maybe you're a bit peckish." She said as she began to head to the kitchen. "You hungry Rover?"

'Huh, I guess she forgot about us.' Spanky thought as he watched Wilhamena walk away.

"Pst, now's our chance to scram."

"Way ahead of you." Whispered Spanky as the ghosts flew away.

Wilhamena hummed while filling a bowl up with some leftover meatloaf and set it down in front of KO who was trying to get some more words out. "Here you go Rover, eat up, and then we can work on your language problem, ok?"

"I'm…..need to…..Enid…..now."

"Enid? Why? She's not here, and how do you know her name already?" She asked as she pushed the bowl towards him.

"It's…..I….to….home!"

"Oh, I think I understand now." Wilhamena said as KO perked up. "You want Enid to come home to see you, right? You must have read her name while you were in her room."

His ears drooped before groaning, but when he looked at the meat he got an idea and grabbed it with his bare hands before he started to spread it on the floor.

"Hey, hey, no, stop that, you're supposed to eat that, not play with it!" She said as she quickly tried to stop him.

"Wait!" He let out while pointing down at the mess on the floor.

"What?' She said as she looked down only to widen her eyes slightly in surprise. The meat was spread out in 'It's me, KO'. "KO? Wait, isn't that Enid's little friend? The one that's been missing for a few months?"

He nodded his head quickly while Wilhamena looked him over and began to finally notice the similar build and body structure while envisioning KO's human form over the current form, which was a perfect match. "Wait...are you actually her friend? But wasn't he a human?" She asked in confusion only to grab him as he went for the meatloaf on the floor again. "Whoa there, hold it, I have paper and pens, let's clean up this mess THEN talk, alright?"

He nodded while lending a hand with cleaning up the mess as the two found themselves in a study with Wilhamena grabbing a feather pen and some paper.

"Ok, this time write down what happened and explain what's going on." She said as he nodded and began to do so, but found a little bit of trouble holding and writing with the strange pen.

Thankfully though after a few minutes KO managed to get his message down and gave it to the vampire mother. She looked it over and gasped slightly as she read over it. "This….this is….I don't know what to call it, they mistake you as a dog?! Ugh, did they not check the public records when they brought you in?"

He nodded and wrote down his response and handed it to her, making her frown deepen. "Wait… did you ever tell your mother about your current condition? She did take you down to the courthouse to get your records updated, right?" She asked, her voice becoming a bit nervous.

KO looked confused and jotted down that she did not, making Wilhamena rub her forehead, looking more frazzled.

"Oh boy….ok, KO...or rather Rover...you know I'm a lawyer, right? I have seen several cases like this...and it's not good, or at least not good for YOU."

"Why?" He got out using his own voice.

"Because you never told your mother about your condition you aren't currently registered as a were human, so in the eyes of the law you're...a puppy." She revealed, making him pale. "Which means unless that's corrected, legally speaking you STILL fall under the current laws when it comes to pets. Realistically, everything you've gone through? It's not illegal or going against any rules set forth."

"W-What?!"

"Yes, and it gets worse, since you've already been adopted several times, some legally, some not, that means that you've been registered in the system as an animal. This means that getting your status changed back to human is going to be very, very difficult if not impossible, especially if any of your previous owners file a claim on you." She revealed making KO let out a scared whimper while looking down, making the vampire smile and rub his head. "Not to worry though, now that I know the truth, I can work my fingers to the bone to get things all set. Plus I can let Enid know you're safe and sound, which will really make her happy." She said as he perked up. "All I need you to do though is not disappear, as long as I legally own you...also sorry about that, but legally your name is Rover right now." She revealed sheepishly before clearing her throat. "I can work to get this changed, but if you run off or if you go back to Carol at the moment I could be charged with abandoning you and the case I make thrown out." She said as he whimpered a bit. "I'm sorry, I bet you want to go home but this is a very delicate situation, the law is very complicated and clear on this."

KO looked down before putting something down which read 'Any idea how long it'll take?'.

"Um...well, that's the kicker, I'm not sure, at the earliest? Maybe…. Four months? At the latest….it could carry on for years." She revealed, making him freeze. "I'm sorry but in some parts of this process it's out of my hands, hundreds of thousands of cases flow through the courts and it can take a long time to get the right signatures, it can be annoying and one wrong move and we'll be drowning in red tape."

He began to whimper and freak out as he processed this information. He started to rock back and forth on his rear making the vampire move closer and try rubbing his head and back.

"There there, I know this isn't what you want to hear, but if it makes you feel better your situation is a very good one, I know who you are and you're not going anywhere so I can keep an eye on you, I've had some clients who've been stuck in less than ideal situations which makes yours look like a walk in the park." She smiled while giving him a scratch behind the ear, which got his tail wagging and helped him slowly start to relax. "So how about you relax for a bit, ok Rover?"

KO nodded as she carefully picked him up and began to move out of the office.

"Now, how about we call Enid, ok?"

"Arf!" He barked happily, forgoing speaking regularly due to the process starting to make his throat sore.

"Sounds good to me." She chuckled as she reached out for her landline phone, unaware of the weather getting worse outside. She picked it up and began to put in the number while the dark clouds sparked and lit up a little bit with Wilhamena hearing the dial tone ringing. She waited as it kept ringing until she heard Enid pick it up.

"What is it mom, I'm really busy here, me and Rad are getting ready to follow a new lead we got on KO."

"Well I just wanted to call and say I've got great news honey, and it just happens to be on the same page." She smiled.

"Is this about the new wolf you got or somet-" Enid started to ask, only for Wilhamena to hear a loud boom and for the entire house to start shaking as the phone went dead.

"Enid? Enid? Hello?" Wilhamena looked at the phone and heard the tone go flat. "Oh come on, don't tell me the call dropped." She groaned as she hung up the phone. "Great, now I'm going to have to wait for the phone to be fixed before I can call her again."

"Awww." KO let out.

"Hey, it's ok, we only have to wait a bit, it's not the end of the world." She smiled while patting his head. "Think of it like a little get together until she calls back, or until she comes home. Trust me, the time will fly by like that."

KO just nodded as she kept patting his head. 'Ok...that's not so bad, right?' He thought as he began to relax. 'I've been in worse situations than this.'

"Well at least now I don't have to worry about potty training you." She chuckled with KO blushing as she walked past him. "Why don't we have some tea?"

"S-Sure." He got out as she smiled.

"Great, do you prefer swamp water grey or mildew black?" She asked as she set him down before she walked towards the kitchen.

"Uh….what...you….mmend?"

"Oh, well I have this wonderful brew that is made from the muck gathered in a local swamp, or this really great brew that uses scraps of mildew in their recipe." She said with a smile.

It was at this point that KO remembered that Enid's mom was a vampire, and didn't exactly have a 'normal' diet. He turned green imagining the tea and let her go into the kitchen while hearing his stomach growl a little. 'Maybe I should have eaten that meatloaf instead of smearing it on the floor.' He turned to the front door and moved over before opening it and poked his head out while his nose picked up something that smelled good. 'Mmmmm, I wonder what that is?' he thought as his tail began to wag.

He walked outside the mansion and put his nose to the ground and began to follow the smell. 'Ok, I'll just see what that is, grab a bite to eat then I'll head right back to the mansion and wait for Enid.'

(Later)

KO had continued to follow the smell, so far not finding what it was just yet, but he was getting closer and closer to it. 'I know I'm close, I can feel it!' He thought, his hunger driving him forward. 'I've gone too far to turn back now.'

Soon he looked and saw what looked like a large barrel bubbling over a fire with numerous pipes hooked up to it simmering, and it's where the smell was coming from. 'Wow, what is that? It smells great..' He thought as his mouth began to water. He moved over while licking his lips, but heard someone and turned his head before noticing numerous machines around the area with what looked like trucks parked nearby as well. 'Oh! Wow, I didn't notice them. I'm more hungry than I thought.' He thought as he looked around. 'Wait, where am I? How far have I walked? I hope Enid's mom isn't too worried.'

"Hahahaha, this next batch is almost done." Laughed a woman's voice.

'Huh? Oh! That must be the cook.' KO thought as he tried to stay hidden. He ducked behind the barrel and looked around it to see Dr. Blight walking over to it while rubbing her hands, making him cover his mouth quickly. 'Hey, I know her! She tried to pollute the bodega a while back.'

"Finally, the next batch is finally finished!" She repeated with a chuckle.

'What is she doing, what is she cooking?' He thought as his stomach growled. He held it while Dr. Blight herself sniffed from the barrel and laughed.

"Once this barrel is done simmering, I can finally get to work on spreading all of this sludge across the whole town! Ah, it'll be a polluted swamp by the end of the day."

'Wait, that stuff is poison?! Why does she want to make the whole town a swamp?!' He thought in horror as his stomach let out another growl. 'No! Stop that stomach, that stuff's not food!'

"Huh?" Dr. Blight looked around when she heard the sound. "Hey, what was that sound?" She looked around as the growling got louder before spotting the bushes and grinned. She slowly moved over with her hands out. "Looks like I've got...a sneak!" She called as she quickly moved the bushes apart, only to pause as she saw KO. "...a puppy?"

KO's ears dropped while his tail stood up at being caught and let out a scared yip.

"Huh...to be honest I was expecting a meddlesome brat or something, not an animal." She said as she reached down to pick him up. She picked him up by the scruff of his neck and raised an eyebrow. "What's a pup like you doing all the way out here?"

"Arf?" He said as he tilted his head. 'Maybe it's best if I don't let her know who I am, much less that I can talk.'

"Oh well, probably just ran over here when you smelt my sludge. It does have a good smell to it, oh the irony." She chuckled with a smirk. "I bet you want a taste, huh? Well, maybe you should, it would be cruel to not let you have any, huh?"

KO paled hearing that while the woman held him near the top and gulped seeing it bubbling and lost his appetite knowing just what it was. He began to squirm and whimper in her grasp as she just chuckled.

"Oh? Are you suddenly not hungry anymore?" She asked with him nodding quickly. "Well, that's quite a shame, my brew is killer good~" She chuckled at her own pun.

'Yeah, and that's why!' Thought KO.

"Well, I guess I can't force you to drink it." She said as KO relaxed in her grasp. "But I CAN give you a front row seat when I spread all this stuff across the ENTIRE town." She chuckled as KO whimpered. "It's going to be amazing, the whole town will be turned into a toxic swamp!"

"Arf arf!" He barked as she began to walk towards one of the trucks.

"Come, let's go and get this show on the road~" She spoke while KO tried to get out of her grip, but it was rock solid. "Come, you'll ride with me in my personal car."

'No...no no no, not again, I was finally somewhere where I could get home!' He thought in disbelief before finding himself tossed into Dr. blight's car before she strapped him down with the seatbelt and got in before she started driving with the trucks holding the barrels following. 'Where exactly is she taking me?! No, I have to get out, I have to get back to Enid's mom, I was so close to going home!'

"Hahahaha, oh I'm up in arms." Smirked the woman while driving the car near the outskirts of the bodega before stopping. "Before I see this town become a beautiful rancid swamp, I want to see this spot get turned first. Let's just say it holds a little sore spot with me pup."

'Wait, the Bodega?! No! She can't destroy it! And I could get home! I have to warn them!' He thought while trying to gnaw on the seatbelt while Dr. Blight left the car and turned to the drivers in the trucks.

"Alright boys, empty those tanks, let's destroy this place!"

"NOT SO FAST!" Called a loud voice, making them look up to see a familiar silver skinned, green haired man.

"Captain Planet!" gasped the men and doctor.

"I'm not going to allow you to pollute the bodega again!" He declared with his finger pointed at Dr. Blight.

"How could you have known about it? We haven't even started dumping!"

"I can sense when you are about to harm the planet, now give up!" He demanded with a frown.

"In your dreams, let him have it boys!"

"Yes ma'am!" They said as they went to unload the trucks content, only for Captain Planet to fly down and start grabbing the trucks and start tossing them into space.

"No more polluting from you all." He smirked before Dr. Blight growled and started foraging around the back of her car.

"Luckily I came prepared!" She smirked while whipping out a hose before letting out a blast of sludge. She laughed maniacally only to pause as he held out his hand and forced the sludge to stop midair. "No...how?!"

"You made one mistake, you used water to help make the sludge, so I can control it!"

"No fair!" She yelled out before finding the sludge from the hose and barrels getting sucked up into the air into one large condensed sphere. "No no no! This isn't fair!"

"Neither are using your power to try and destroy the planet!" he declared before he sent the sphere into space, right as the female villain tried to make a run for it. "Hold on villain, you won't escape that easily!" He called as he chased after her.

'Did… did she just leave me here?' Wondered KO watching the two through the window and smiled. "Yip…!" He let out, managed to rip the belt off and climbed out of the car and looked at the bodega. 'I'm finally back home!' He stretched out before he began to run towards Gar's shop. 'Yes, I'm going home!'

But, before he could get even closer, a large shadow began to appear over the spot. 'Huh? Where's the shadow coming from?' He looked up and let out a whimper seeing a large object coming down, making him quickly run on all fours away, falling on his stomach when it crashed down behind him. 'What was that?! What's going on?!'

He turned his head and blinked in surprise to see what looked like a spaceship with blinking lights. 'A spaceship?!' he thought in shock as the door to the ship opened up. He got on his feet and took a ready stance when he saw Cosma appear at the doorframe looking annoyed.

"This is what I get for not buying extra oil on the way home." She muttered in annoyance as she made her way to the convenience store. "I need to buy them in bulk."

'What's she doing here? Is she up to no good?' Wondered KO, assuming something else and forgetting about the plaza at the moment. 'Is she trying to destroy the plaza? And what oil is she talking about?' He bent his legs and started running at her. 'If it's some fiendish plan, I need to stop her!' He thought as he raced after the space dragon. He watched as she entered the store and talked to someone he didn't recognize. 'Wait, that isn't Enid, where are her and Rad?'

"I need lots of motor oil, enough to hold me over for the next month or so."

"Uh, sure, I think I have a pallet of the stuff in the back, I'll go get it for you." The person replied, revealed to be a worker there who went to the back.

'Wait, is she just here to buy stuff?' KO thought in confusion. 'Wow, I didn't see that coming. Kinda feel like a dork for jumping the gun.'He thought as he shook his head. 'I guess I should just head in and find Mr. Gar.' He thought as he slowly entered the store. 'I hope everything hasn't gone too out of place since I left.'

"Whoa there little guy." Said a voice behind him as KO suddenly found himself being picked up. "What are you doing here? Did you lose your owner?"

"Arf?" He turned his head and groaned seeing it was the dog catcher. 'No no no! Not you again!' He thought as he let out a small growl.

"Really, either you're a little escape artist or you have had the worst luck in finding owners." He shook his head with a sigh. "Well, I wouldn't be doing my job if I gave up. Looks like we'll have to try again."

'No! Wait… that might actually work, Enid's mom might come to the pound to look for me!' He thought as Max carried him out of the store. 'I mean she knows who I am now, so she might notice when she sees I'm gone.'

"Hey, what do you have there?" Called a voice, making him turn to see Cosma with several of the bodega workers who were carting several pallets of motor oil to her ship.

"Oh, just a little pup ma'am." Max explained as he held out KO. "This little guy was all on his own so I was just going to take him to the shelter."

"Hmm, I feel like I've seen him somewhere." She said as she approached Max and KO and leaned down to get a better look at him.

"Well, this little guy has had multiple owners, but unfortunately they either abandoned, lost him or returned him. Say… are you interested in adopting him?"

KO's eyes widened while the alien villain rubbed her chin.

"Hmmmm, I'm not sure, I haven't really had a pet before… would I have to pay money for him?"

"Yes, but only for the registration fee, if you pay now I'll take your info and do all the paperwork for you."

"Hmmm, I suppose I could take in a pet." Mused Cosma. "I've never had one at home, and it would get a little less lonely."

'Cosma? Where's her home? Oh no, she's going to take me off earth, isn't she?!' Thought KO letting out a whimper.

"Great, that will be thirty dollars, and can I get your name and address please?" Max asked as he held KO with one arm and pulled out a small notepad and pen with the other.

Cosma took the offered paper and pen and jotted down her name, address, then proceeded to hand over the money. "There, is that everything?"

"Yep, you're the proud owner of… what would you like his name to be?" Max asked as he handed over KO to her.

"Am I required to make one up on the spot?"

"Not at all, but if you could send me the name you've chosen for him within the week to us we can finish the registration. Here, this is the shelter's email address, just send us the name when you decide and feel free to email us if you have any additional questions." Max said as he jotted down the email on a new piece of paper and handed it to her.

Cosma accepted the paper and looked it over while Max went and walked out of the store.

'What...what just happened, did COSMA just adopt me?!' KO thought in shock.

"Well, let's go, I can't wait to show you my place." She grinned while lugging him up in her arms and carried him away to the register while KO shivered in fear.

"Ok, so that's a month's worth of motor oil, will that be all?" Asked the cashier.

"Actually, do you have any dog food and collars? I just got this little guy and I think it would be best if I had some food for him."

"Absolutely."

After paying for her items, she went back to her ship and loaded up the groceries. "Alright, I think I have everything we need, now let's get going little guy."

'I'm going to be taken away, I won't be able to get back home, w-what am I going to do?!' KO thought as he let out a whimper and lightly struggled in her grasp.

"Easy there, you'll be just fine on the trip." She said as she lightly pet him. "You're going to love space."

'No I won't!' He thought as she finished loading up the space ship.

Cosma climbed into her ship while fastening KO into the seat. "There, now hold on fella, I like to ignore those pesky speed limits." Smirked Cosma grabbing the wheel while pushing buttons.

'Uh-oh, that doesn't sound good.' He thought nervously. He held on as the ship rose up before it went zooming right off into the air, making him go back against the seat due to the sudden speed. 'So fast! Ok, even if I could jump out, it's not an option!' He thought while Cosma looked over.

"It might be a bit cramped, but I think we can make it work."

'Cramped? What is she talking about?' Wondered KO before the ship began to slow down.

"Alright, you ready little guy?"

'Not really.' He thought as he struggled a bit in the seat.

"Relax, no need to get all fussy. I don't wanna have to replace the belts if you start chewing on them." Scolded Cosma as the ship began to shake. Slowly it began to stop with Cosma smiling. "There we go, smooth and sound."

'Wait, we're already here?' He thought in surprise. 'But it was only two minutes.'

"Ok, now be quiet little guy, there's someone I want you to meet." She undid the straps and picked him up while the hatch to her ship opened and he saw they were on what looked like a big asteroid.

'Wait, how can I breathe here?' He pondered as she carried him away while noting how the ground looked more soft and smooth, like a giant blanket. 'Is this really a giant asteroid?'

"Luka! I'm home!"

'Luka? Who's that?' He wondered before spotting someone walking towards them.

"Cosma, you're finally home! Come give me some sugar~" Called what looked like a long necked blue cat wearing a tight red tank top and purple jean shorts with three eyes and short purple hair.

"Sure babe, but first say hello to the newest member of our family." She held out KO which made the cat stop and let out a hiss with KO flinching and growing nervous.

"What the hell is that?!"

"A puppy."

"Why would you get one of those?!" She growled. "A filthy flea covered mutt!"

"Hey! He's clean, at least I think so, and I thought you liked small animals!"

"The ones that don't chew up the place or slobber all over the floor!" She argued. "And I never said that I wanted one as a pet!"

"Come on, he isn't going to do that, you aren't even giving him a chance, look just hold him quick." She held KO out. "You'll see he's rather tame."

"...Fine, if it will make you happy, but I'm not changing how I feel." She said with a huff.

"That's my girl." She said as Luka hesitantly took KO from her.

The cat shivered as she tried to look at KO without disgust with said puppy hoping she didn't do something rash.

'Please don't eat me please don't eat me!' he thought as she looked him over with a critical eye. 'If she doesn't like me will Cosma just toss me into space?! What will happen?!'

'He does seem clean, furs soft, almost as soft as mine... he is a tiny bit cute...' She thought while feeling the ears and tail up. "Hmm."

'W-What is she doing?' He thought as he let out a nervous whimper.

"So? What do you think?"

"...Fine, you're right, he's adorable and I love him!" She declared as she hugged him and let out a purr. "What's his name?"

"He doesn't have one yet." Replied Cosma while smirking. "I wanted to get him home as soon as possible before worrying about that." She said as she walked towards her partner. "Plus I thought you might want to have a hand in naming him too."

"Aw, you know me so well~" She smiled while her neck twisted with her head looking KO upside down as her three eyes looked down in thought. "Something that fits...hmm…."

"Hmmmm…. How about Timim?"

"No, I have a friend named that, it would be weird." Luka mused.

"What about Yippers?"

"Hmmmm, I think I like it." She smiled as KO's eyes widened.

'Yippers?!'

"Yippers it is." Cosma said as she patted his head. "How about you take him inside while I unload the ship, I got the motor oil and I made sure to pick up some food and supplies for little Yippers here."

"Alright, I'll show him around." She said as she turned around and tapped the ground twice surprising KO when it opened up to show a set of stairs leading inside. She started walking downard with glowing rocks in the walls lighting up the way.

'Whoa, do they live inside the asteroid?' He thought in shock as they went deeper and deeper. "Arf?"

"Heh, I bet you've never been inside a astroi-home, have you Yippers?" Luka chuckled. "This whole asteroid is fake, made from a really soft substance, complete with its own mini atmosphere. Me and Cosma live inside and with a home like this we can go anywhere in the universe together."

'Like a giant spaceship?' he thought as he imagined it flying around. 'Or does Cosma carry it?' He thought as he imagined the space dragon in ger giant size carrying the asteroid.

"Right here we have the living/dining room." She said as the stairs stopped and they walked into a large room full of plush couches, a large monitor on the wall and a large dining room table. "This is where we usually eat and relax."

"Arf." He said as he looked around. Everything looked like it was made out of the same material the asteroid was. 'Wait… if we're on an asteroid, then how am I supposed to get home?'

"And over here is the kitchen." She said as she led him into a MASSIVE room full of high tech equipment, ovens, massive fridges and so on. "Me and Cosma really love food, so we needed a kitchen where we could make anything we wanted."

"...ig…." He let out, using his real voice, but it still came out choppy.

"Huh? Are you ok?" She asked as she looked at him curiously. 'Is that a normal sound for this animal to make?'

KO perked up and slapped himself for forgetting common sense. 'Duh, if I tell her I'm a boy, she'll take me back home. Besides, with how fast the ship is, Cosma won't notice a thing.'

"Hmmm, maybe you're hungry? Well, Cosma's bringing in your food, so let's continue the tour and then we'll get you something to eat after, ok Yippers?"

"I….ot….ppers." He let out, making her stop and go wide-eyed.

"Wait, you...can talk? Huh, I didn't know earth animals could do that!"

"I….ot…..l. I….uman….y."

"Um… maybe not? I can't really understand you." She said apologetically as she took him into the next room. "Don't worry, after we're done I'll make you something nice to eat. And here's where me and Cosma sleep." She said as KO looked around to see he was in their bedroom with a massive bed in the middle. "Huh, I wonder if you'll sleep in here too, or maybe we'll get a puppy bed for you?"

'I'll pass on that.' He thought as he shook his head. 'I don't plan on staying around for long!'

"Alright, let's get you fed." She said as she took him back to the kitchen. "That was pretty much it for the tour, the other rooms aren't that important. Now then, can puppies eat space lizards?"

KO turned green hearing that.

"I'll take that as a no… how about some ground meat? Do you like meat Yippers?"

He nodded which perked her up.

"Great! Let's cook you up some then, in fact let's make some for me and Cosma, maybe tacos?" She mused as she began to get lost in thought.

'Hmm, maybe I should reconsider my plan to sneak off and pilot the ship myself.' Thought KO as Luka set him down carefully. 'If I messed up I could blow the whole asteroid up!'

"You wait right here, I'll get started on dinner." She said as she began to gather up ingredients.

"Yippers, come here boy!" Cosma called as she entered the living room, carrying various dog supplies. "I've got some goodies you can try out."

'I might as well see what she has for me.' KO thought as he reluctantly walked towards her. He saw her dumb various dog accesories and toys out in front of him, along with a collar.

"Now then, let's get this collar on you Yippers, then we can try the rest of the stuff out." she picked it up making KO gulp and started backing up on all fours. "Hey, hey, it's ok, it won't hurt at all, I promise, and later we can order some tags to put on it with your name, doesn't that sound nice?"

"N….llar!"

"Wait, did you just… talk?" She asked in surprise. "Wait, are you one of those pets I've heard that have powers?"

"...es!"

"Oooh, sounds like I was lucky." She said with a chuckle. "I got a rare pet~"

"...chip….eck.." He said as he pointed where he thought Max had put the chip that kept him from talking and using his powers.

"Eck?" She raised an eyebrow. "Do you mean 'neck'?"

He quickly nodded as his tail began to wag. 'Yes, yes, the chip in my neck! You can take it out!'

"Let me see what about your neck you're trying to tell me." She said as she picked him up and looked at it in confusion. "Is there something wrong with it?"

"C….ch…..ip!"

"Chip...oh! Ok, I think I get it, one of your previous owners put one of those regulator chips in you to keep you from using your powers, right?"

"Yes…"

"Well I'll take a look at it and see if it needs fixing." She said as she stood up and began to carry him away. "Luka, I'll be in my lab with Yippers if you need me, there's a chip or something in him I have to take a look at."

"Ok! I'll get the tacos ready!"

"We're having tacos? Excellent." Cosma said as she licked her lips. When she reached her private lab, she set KO on the table and looked behind his neck. "I don't see anything, so I'm going to use my equipment to get a closer look, ok?"

"Arf!"

Cosma reached over and used some kind of microscope to look closer at the skin and spotted some lights under it. "There we are, I think I see it, it's definitely a control chip… looks like it's been cracked somehow."

"Arf arf!" He said as he began to get excited. 'Yes, now take it out so I can talk!'

"Hmmmm… ok, I think I might be able to fix it, but I'm going to put you under while I'm working so you don't move, ok?"

'If it means I can talk, I'll take it.' He thought as he nodded.

"Good, hold still." She said as she pulled out a mask connected to a hose. "Now breathe in, and when you wake up the problem will be taken care of."

KO slowly breathed in the mask while feeling sleepy and fell on his stomach.

"Alright, let's get to work."

(Later)

KO groaned as he began to wake up. "Oooh…..my head feels funny…." He groaned before realizing that he just spoke. "Hey, my voice! It's clear!"

"Yep, I fixed the chip and changed it's setting so you can talk, but your powers are still under lock and key for now Yippers." Remarked Cosma standing nearby making him jump in surprise. "So, how are you feeling, any soreness?"

"Uh...no, but I am tired." He yawned.

"Alright, well, how about I take you to your bed, or do you want something to eat before that?" She asked as he let out another yawn.

"Bed please…."

"Alright, up we go." She said as she carefully picked him up. 'Poor little guy, he must be exhausted, then again I would too if I went through what he did.' she thought while carrying him to the bedroom. "You can sleep in here for right now, just try not to shed any fur."

"Ok….night." He yawned as he succumbed to his weariness and fell asleep.

'He's so precious, but I'm still sure I've seen him somewhere before.' Cosma thought as she began to walk away. 'Oh well, it couldn't have been important if I can't remember.'

(Next day)

"Yippers, come on, wake up~"

"Mmm...don't wanna…."

"Come on, we made breakfast, and if you're good you can have some scraps~" Called Luka.

KO grumbled and rubbed at his cheek before slowly opening up his eyes. He saw Luka looking at him happily as he let out another yawn.

"Morning sleepyhead, we have a fun filled day ahead of us!"

KO sat up and rubbed at his eyes before finding himself picked up by Luka. "Huh?"

"Come on, Cosma said you should eat something before we start, after that we can try out all the stuff we got you! And we can put your new collar on~"

KO groaned hearing that as Luka carried him to the kitchen, where a plate of fresh grilled meat was on the table.

"Now then, I know I put your bowl of dog food around here somewhere, between you and me that stuff looks gross so we'll put a bit of meat in it, ok?"

"Ok." He said as she put him down on the table as she looked around before spotting a silver dog bowl full of dog food.

"Luka, KO, are you in there?" Cosma called from the living room.

"Yeah!"

"Great, once you're done in there bring Yippers in here!"

"Sure thing!" She said as she mixed up the meat with the dog food. "Eat up quickly, ok Yippers?"

He nodded before he started wolfing down the food, realizing he was real hungry.

'Wow, this tastes great! Who knew dog food and meat tasted so good!' he thought. Soon he was done and was picked up by Luka.

"What did you need Yippers for sweetie?"

"Well, while he was sleeping I went out and got a bunch of dog accessories for him and I want to see how he likes them, I even managed to get a tag for his collar."

"Aww, that's so sweet." She said as KO gulped nervously. "Say thank you to Cosma Yippers."

"Uh….thank you?"

"Good boy!" She said as she sat down with KO in front of Cosma who was surrounded by a large pile of items. "Now then, let's try your collar on!"

"Uh, do I have to?" He asked as Cosma held up a black collar with a golden tag on it that read 'Yippers'.

"Yes, you do, it has our address and phone numbers on the back in case you get lost."

"But aren't we in space? Where could I go?"

"It's just in case, besides, I bet you'll look great with it on." Luka said as Cosma moved forward and tried to attach the collar around his neck.

KO tried to move his head away while using his hands to try and hold it back.

"Uh, I'd rather not wear the collar!"

"Yippers, this isn't up for debate." Cosma said firmly. "Just put it on, I made sure it wouldn't be too tight."

"B-But…" he said, trying to find some sort of defense on why not to wear the collar.

"Yippers, just hold still and let her put the collar on." Luka said as she gently held his arms as Cosma moved in and put the collar on. "See? It fits no problem. Kinda reminds me of the one she likes to use on me in our private time~"

"Oh come on Luka, not in front of Yippers." Cosma said as KO blushed red. "Now then, how does it feel Yippers, is it comfortable?"

"Well….it's not tight." He admitted as he lightly tugged on it.

"Great, well it looks perfect on you." Luka said as Cosma nodded. "Now then, why don't you give some of the toys a try?"

"Um, ok?" he said as several toys were pushed towards him. 'Ok, this might not be so bad, at least they like me, but now I feel bad for wanting to escape.'

"After you're done we can go for a nice little walk." Said Cosma as she pulled out a long leash. "Oh! Before I forgot I also got you something to help you exercise when we're traveling and you can't go outside." She said as she reached behind her and pulled out what looked like a giant hamster wheel. "This is made so you can run on it and get all the exercise you want!"

"But, isn't that made for hamsters?"

"Well, this one is made for dogs." Cosma said as KO looked at it in confusion.

"It just looks like a bigger version." Luka said with a sweatdrop.

"Look, that's not the point, so what do you think KO, do you like it?"

"Well it looks….big."

"Well, do you wanna try it or should we go for a walk?"

"I guess giving it a try could work." He said as he reluctantly stepped on.

"Great, give it a try." She said KO began to run on.

"Huh… this isn't too bad." he said as he began to go faster and faster. "So, how do I stop?"

"Stop?" She replied confused. "I…..don't know."

"Wait, what?" He said as he realized he couldn't stop. "Oh no." he said as he started to go faster and faster.

"Cosma?"

"Yes?" She asked as KO tripped and fell down, and was now going around in circles, out of control.

"Should we stop this or….."

"I don't know...it's kinda funny…."

"...yeah you're right." Chuckled Luka said with a chuckle as she brought out her phone and began to record KO.

"Tooooo faaaaaassssstttttttt!" KO let out before he went flying off the wheel and went hitting the wall, but he wound up bouncing off and hit the opposite wall, only to bounce off that one too.

"He...hehe….hahaaahaaa!" Cosma chuckled as KO went flying around. "It's the amazing flying Yippers!"

"I'm definitely uploading this online!"

"Heeeeelllpppppp!|"

(Timeskip)

"Yippers, where are you? It's time for your bath!" Luka called.

'Yippers' was hiding under the main bed while trying to keep quiet. 'I don't want another bath, they take too long! Especially when Luka gives it!' He thought with a shudder.

"Oh Yippers, come out come out wherever you are." Called Luka with a grin. "Come on, I got a new bottle of shampoo for us to use!"

'Uh uh, that stuff makes me sneeze all the time.' He thought as he tried to make himself small. 'I can't believe I've been here for a month.'

That's when he heard the door open up and covered his mouth.

"Oh Yippers, I know you're in here." came Cosma's voice. "Come now, we made a deal, remember? Two baths a week, you promised."

'That doesn't mean I have to make it easy.' he thought with a smirk. 'I still can't believe that Cosma's a villain, she doesn't act like one with me and Luka.'

"If you don't come out, I'll drag you to the bathtub myself." She called with a frown. "Don't make me count to three mister!"

'I'm sure she's just bluffing...right?'

"One…..two….." Spoke Cosma while making herself grow slowly, which KO noticed from his spot. "Two and a half…."

'Oh no, she's serious!' He thought before poking his head out. "Wait!"

"A-Ha! So you finally show yourself, huh?" Cosma said as she turned to him, her arms crossed.

"Heheh, tada?" He chuckled bashfully.

"Yes, tada, now then Yippers, let's get you to the bath."

"Awww, but I'm not that dirty."

"You still need a bath though, you need periodic baths to keep your coat clean, shiny and soft." She smiled before picking him up and carried him out. "If you get all messy and dirty, you'll really make Luka pitch a fit."

"I know, she nearly killed you when you spilled the spaghetti sauce on me." He chuckled as she scowled.

"Just for that, I'm using that really fruity shampoo. The one that always gets her eager for cuddle time." She smirked.

"Aw, no, not that one!" he groaned with a whimper as they reached the bathroom.

"Did you get him Cosma?"

"Yup."

"Great, the baths are hot and ready. I even decided to be nice and use that real fruity stuff."

"Noooo!" KO wailed as Luka chuckled.

"Hey, this stuff is expensive and it makes you smell oh so good~"

"In you go." Cosma moved over to the tub and plopped him in while she and Luka grabbed the brushes. "Now hold still and try to relax and this will be over fast."

"Ugh, fiiiiine." He groaned with a pout.

"Oh! Maybe when he's dry we could tie a few ribbons in his hair." Smiled Luka.

"No." Spoke KO and Cosma at the same time.

"Aw, come on, it would be fun! Oh! What if we looked into dying his f-"

"No."

"But-"

"No."

"Aw, you two are no fun." Luka sighed as she poured the shampoo onto one of the brushes.

"That's part of the fun. That and you went overboard last time." Remarked Cosma.

"Aw come on, it wasn't that bad, was it Yippers?"

"Just to remind you, I'm not a poodle." KO said as he began to get covered in fruity smelling suds. "I'm just glad Cosma stopped you before you could give me a haircut."

"To think you weren't a dog person a month ago." Cosma said as she shook her head.

"H-Hey! Shut up…" She mumbled looking away. "It's not my fault you brought home such a cute puppy…"

"Well seeing you cuddle with him more times than me is." Remarked Cosma looking away. "Been doing it more times with him than me in fact…"

"Aw, is someone getting jealous~?" Luka called with a smile. "Does someone miss cuddling with me~?"

"...well you sure seem to have forgotten all the time you did it with me."

"Aw, honey, did I really, make you feel like that?" She asked as she scrubbed KO. "I didn't mean to, really."

"Suuure."

"Really, if I knew I was making you feel like that I could have given you some personal attention~" She purred as she scooted closer to her. "How about after Yippers bath we have some nice, close and personal cuddling~"

Cosma blushed before grinning and chuckled. "Oh you just flipped a switch in me, hope you know that."

"Oh baby, trust me, I'm counting on it~"

"Uh...I'm still here?" KO said meekly with a blush.

"Oh! Right, sorry about that. Just ignore everything we said." Cosma said as her face heated up as she and Luka remembered that they weren't alone. "Let's let him outside after his bath so we can have some fun." She whispered to her partner.

"Works for me." She whispered with a nod. "Let's finish this up quick."

(Later)

"Now you just stay out here while we uh… do some cleaning, ok Yippers?"

"Ok." He said as Cosma smiled and closed the door, leaving him outside on the asteroid. "I wonder what personal cuddling time is like?" He shrugged as he began to wander around, bouncing a bit on the soft surface. "Man, I wouldn't mind a bed like this whole place, then I could bounce around all day." He chuckled as he tried to bounce higher and higher. "Man, I can't believe I've lived here for so long… it's kinda crazy."

He bounced using his belly and looked up at the stars with a frown. "It's been pretty good, but if I don't find a way back home….." He looked back at the asteroid and smiled. "This wouldn't be too bad of an alternative."

But as he bounced, he heard what sounded like an engine. 'Huh? What is that?' He thought as he looked around in confusion. He heard it get louder and stopped bouncing before he looked up and yelped when he saw a spaceship landing near where he was. "Whoa, where did that come from?!"

He back pedaled away and looked at it while finding it familiar, but watched as a hatch on it opened before he gasped and saw Rad's dad step out with a smile.

"Ah, hello small creature." he said with a wave.

"Rad's dad!"

"Yes, that is me." he said as he pulled out what looked like a strange ray gun.

"Oh man, you have no idea how happy I am to see you."

"It is good to see you too….uh...computer, what is this?" he called back to the ship.

"That is a dog, a species of animal native to earth."

"Well it's quite smart, and very far away from home." His wife called as she stepped off the ship.

"What are you two doing here?" he asked as he began to feel hopeful, but also oddly hesitant. 'Why do I feel like this, this is my chance to get home.'

"Well, we were just flying around when we spotted you and we decided to see what you were doing."

"Well that's great! You can give me a lift back to the bodega where Rad and Enid are."

"Oh, we're not going there." Theodosia said with a smile, confusing KO.

"Then where are you going?"

"Oh, well, I heard of this thing called a 'dog show' and we think it might be fun to try it."

"Dog….show?"

"Yes, and you're a dog, so we're going to put you in the show." Said Ofrang as he fired the gun at KO, which hit him and made him freeze. "Let's get him on the ship, we don't want to be late in registering."

"Right. Oh! Should we take him to the groomer so he looks more like that dog we saw, oh...what was it called again computer?"

"A Poodle."

"Right."

"Ooh! Good idea, we best not be sloppy for our first 'dog show'."

"Alright, I'll make the reservation while you fly." Theodosia said as her husband picked up KO and carried him to the ship and placed him inside a dog crate.

"Oh this is going to be exciting!"

'No! Why, why is this happening?!' KO thought as the door to the dog crate was closed and locked up tightly. 'Am I cursed with nothing but bad luck!?'

"Alright, let's get going." Said Theodosia as they got into their ship and began to take off.


	10. Chapter 10

List of oneshots part 4

chapter 10

Essentially a fun little crack fic, and something every fan of Lincoln thinks when it comes to these kind of stories.

Series: Loud House

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Lincoln was growling as he looked down at his sisters, in the living room and watching TV, while he stamped down the stairs and inhaled before: "HEY!"

All of them turned to him, confused, while noticing how he looked annoyed.

"I've got a few things to make clear to all of you so listen up! I'm not gonna repeat myself!"

"Lincoln, what's your deal?" frowned Lori in annoyance before he walked over and grabbed her phone before tossing it out the window. "Lincoln!"

"QUIET!" he yelled out in her face, making her reel back as he pointed at her. "I'm talking! Not you!"

Lori gulped seeing her brother's firm expression before he turned to the others.

"As the only boy with nothing but sisters, and the fact I've had to deal with a lot of bullshit-"

"Yo dude, ease up on the language." spoke Luna, only for Lincoln to glare at her, which shut her up.

"I have a reason to curse, besides, there's gonna be some changes. From now on, I call the shots."

That made the sisters look at each other before Lola burst out laughing, irking Lincoln.

"T-T-That's a good one ahahahah!"

"I'm not joking. I've hit my limit! All the stress, insane antics, and being stuffed into a god damn squirrel suit!" he turned to Lynn who flinched and walked up to her. "You know how hot it gets in there?"

"Uh, n-"

"It gets so hot my balls were flooded!" he yelled while grabbing at his crotch making his sisters gasp and blush.

"Easy there bro, no need to be HARD on us." chuckled Luan before he covered her mouth and shook his head.

"Luan, you make one crack like that, and I'll be putting that loud mouth of yours to good use early. Don't think I won't, especially with what I'm packing." he smirked before moving over to Lola and picked her up by her arms and frowned. "So, you think this is a joke?"

"Uh, duh." she remarked with an unimpressed expression, only for Lincoln to smirk and let out a chuckle.

"By the time I'm done with you, you won't be acting so smug."

"Elder brother, I believe your current attitude is-"

"Lisa, don't speak right now." he dropped Lola on her ass and pointed at them all. "Right now, I'M in charge! I'm gonna be showing you all what this kid's packing."

"What do you mean bro?" asked Lana, only for them to see him grabbing at his zipper and pull it down, making Lori gasp.

"Lincoln! What the actual h….." she stopped right there when they all saw something flop out and hit the floor, making all their mouths drop, with Lily dropping her pacifier out of her mouth.

"Damn…." Lynn looked up and down.

"Wow! I didn't know you had a pet python!" beamed Lana.

"It's ...bigger than I had theorized." muttered Lisa.

"Wow, I had no idea Lincoln had a third leg." gasped Leni.

"Damn dude." Luna let out, drooling a little.

"It looks like it belongs on a beast of the night." muttered Lucy with her panties getting moist.

"Guess there's not a snake in his boot, but his pants." smiled Luan.

"How did you hide that?!" Lola let out in a scream, both terrified and aroused.

"Lots of practice, and this bad boy is gonna make you all my personal bitches." he smirked. "Except for Lily, she'll get it when she's older. Then when I'm done with all you, I'll use it on your friends, their moms, and give every girl in town a taste of my Lincoln log."

"..." Lori looked at him while noting the size difference between him and Bobbie ...and suddenly felt hungry.

"Alright you sluts, line up and strip."

"I ...best be putting Lily to bed." Lisa got up and grabbed her sister while trying not to stare as she rushed upstairs.

"You can get last dibs on it!" he called out while waving it at the girls with a cheeky grin. "So, who's first?"

"Me!" cried out his sisters all at once while rushing to take the clothes off.

(Later)

"Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh fuck me bro! Do it!" screamed Luna upstairs with Lincoln giving her the pounding of her life and shaking the whole house while Rita and Lynn Sr heard it all while trying to sleep.

"Honey?"

"Yes Lynn?"

"What did we do wrong?"

"I think it was when we let Lincoln see what porn was."

"...you think they'll stop?"

"I hope so, I really do." sighed Rita as the banging came to a stop with it going quiet. "Phew, sounds like they're done."

"Thank god." Lynn Sr rubbed his head. "I started getting a headache after he fucked Leni. Our daughters are natural screamers."

"Maybe we could take them somewhere to try and forget this ever happened. I know I would." muttered Rita.

"Mom! Get your thicc ass up here! I'm gonna show dad how to really handle a booty that big!" called Lincoln, making Rita blush and Lynn Sr go wide eyed before sighing and looked at her.

"You know he'll just come in here and fuck you here if you don't go up there."

"I know, but I'm kinda hoping he does." she muttered before getting out of bed and headed out of the room with her fine ass jiggling. 'Wonder if he'll want a bj from now on.'

Lynn Sr stared at the fine ass and sighed before looking down at the tent under the sheets. "I'm both proud, and sad."

"Oh god Lincoln! It's so big!"

"So is your fat ass! Oh fuck yeah! Shake those tatas!"

"And now just sad."


	11. Chapter 11

List of oneshots part 4

chapter 11

A single dad deals with the trouble with raising ten monster girl daughters.

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-Somewhere in the world-

We find ourselves at a normal looking stone and wooden house on a hill with several cows and sheep roaming around the fenced off area.

"Mooo."

"Baaa."

"Cluck cluck."

With the animals going about their day before a man with a shaggy appearance, short red hair, wearing a long loose white dress shirt with long brown pants was busy feeding the pigs.

"Oink oink." One of the pig's grunted while eating from the trough. "Oink."

"One at a time, one at a time!" he yelled out while nudging some of them away. "You'll get your food."

The pigs kept on being stubborn while we see that the entire farm was unusually secured with high tech security devices and alarms, with the small house looking more like a bunker then a farm house.

"Go ahead and be a farmer, dad said, it'll build character, he said." he grumbled to himself before walking away. "Last time I listen to him, the old man wouldn't know what's good for me if it hit him in the face."

That was when a crow landed on his shoulder.

"And you." He glared at the bird. "If you hadn't made me chase you into that ring of stones, I wouldn't be here."

"Caw?"

The man tried to hit the bird with the bucket, but it flew above him and cawed in annoyance. "First chance I get, you're going in a stew."

"Caw caw."

He frowned at that.

Splat.

Only to get crap on his face.

"Gah! Stupid bird!"

Splat.

Splat.

"Gah!"

"Caw caw!" It 'laughed' before flying away.

The man fumed and chucked his bucket in a random direction and stamped towards the house. "Now I need a bath. Just great."

As he walked to the house, we see that all around the house was a ring of ancient stones, carved in runes, and looked as old as the earth itself, that and it was glowing pink.

'I will get that bird one day!' He growled. He kept on stamping and entered the house via the backdoor with a sigh. "I need to take a nap."

As he walked to the couch, he made sure the security system was on and functioning.

'Those gremlins better be right...ugh. I hate having to ask those insane gals to help out.' He thought. 'Really, they're too crazy for tech. Still...at least my family is fairing well.'

The security system pinged as he turned to the couch and fell face first on the silk cushion.

'Dreamland, here I come.' he thought, slowly closing his eyes before hearing running footsteps.

"Daddy daddy daddy!"

'Oh no, the girls.' He thought while the footsteps got closer to him. 'Can't I get any rest?'

"Daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy!"

CRASH!

"OOOOF!" He gasped out while getting jumped on, making his back hurt a little. "Girls….can't…..breath….."

"Daddy! Play with us!"

He groaned. "Can't...when I'm...dead…"

"Undead or dead daddy?"

"Neither….dead dead….ow…"

The various girls got off him, letting him gasp and inhale while hitting his chest.

"Ah...ah...ah…" he gasped while a loud crack was heard. "GAH! Ooooooh….that one hurt."

"A-A-Are you ok?" asked one of them in a shy tone.

"Yes." He groaned. "I am...but please don't jump on daddy's back again. I'm not as young as I used to be."

"Come on, it wasn't that bad." remarked one rolling her eyes.

"Well, it was bad." He laid back on the couch. "Now go on girls, daddy needs to rest now."

"Can I sleep with you too?" asked one with a tired tone. "I'm sleepy too."

"You're always sleepy."

"Yawn...guilty."

He yawned himself before shivering a little as one of them gave him a blanket.

"Here." said a very innocent tone. "For you daddy, love you."

"Thanks sweetie." he smiled while getting comfy. "I'll wake up a little bit later, why don't you girls go out and play?"

"But daddy." one said with an unsure voice. "What if the cows attack us?"

"And turn us into milk." one said with a bubbly tone. "Mmmm, that sounds scary. Wait, what was I talking about again?"

The other girls sweatdropped. 'Airhead.'

"Don't worry, they won't hurt you….as long as 'someone' doesn't try to provoke them."

"Not my fault they pissed me off…." one said with a huff.

"That was because you tried to pull on their udders, you have to do it tenderly." one said while sounding very smart.

"Shut up!"

"Girls, daddy needs to rest." He said with a yawn.

"Ok, night." one said before they moved away, minus one who stared at him and sat down next to the couch.

"I'll stay here and watch over you so you'll have sweet dreams daddy."

"Why?" He asked while knowing what's going to happen.

"So mama will wake you up like a sleeping princess."

"...just go play." He deadpanned while letting loose a deep yawn.

"Awww, but daddy."

"No buts. Now go before the butt monster tries to eat your buts."

"Oh alright." they sighed before getting up and gave him a hug before skipping away.

'She really needs to learn not to think fairy tales are real. This isn't the normal world...yeah, I need sleep before I act too crazy.' He thought before closing his eyes.

(Later)

The man snored while still on the couch, not knowing that someone was placing a bowl of hot water near his left hand. He grumbled in his sleep and snorted before mumbling and slowly breathed while the person smiled.

'He he.' They thought with a giggle while the water made the man's pants wet. 'Prank success!'

"Mmmm….warm…" he groaned before slowly waking up, saw the stain and water, and connected the dots. "...OI! WHO DID THIS?!"

The figure giggled as the man quickly turned to them with anger in his eyes. Said figure had tanned skin with a pair of jaguar-like ears on their head with white hair that was in a bob-cut style, dark yellow eyes, wearing what looked like a long brown cloak that covered her torso, her wide hips and legs down to her knees and a thick white coat of fur around her neck, shoulders and G cup chest. Her arms and legs though were covered in yellow fur you'd expect from a jaguar with claws and even a jaguar tail swishing behind her.

"Anastasia!"

"He he, hi daddy." She laughed while not noticing the anger. "Did you pee yourself? For shame, ha ha!"

"What have I said about pulling pranks on me when I sleep!?"

"Mmmm, I forgot." She stuck her tongue out.

He glared. "Anastasia, time out corner. Now."

"Awww, but it wasn't that bad. You have other pants."

"Now." He said sternly. "Or no dinner."

She purred sadly at that.

"Don't even try that on me, go to the corner."

Her eyes drooped downwards as she walked to the corner in shame. She sat down while crossing her arms with a pout. "I thought it was funny…"

He sighed while getting up. 'Anastasia, why oh why did you have to have your mother's bad sense of humor? Why?!'

"Well since you're up, does that mean it's time for dinner?"

"No." He said with a frown. "It means you're staying there until after I say so."

"Awww!"

"Now don't move and stay quiet young lady."

"Oh fine." Anastasia huffed while her tail fluffed up.

He sighed before walking upstairs to get changed out of his soaked pants. But as soon as he got to the floor he found himself knocked back on his back with the air knocked out of him. 'Not again.'

"Daddy! You're done napping!"

"Yes, but I need to change my pants."

"...really?"

"Yes really." He sighed. "So can you get off me?"

"Awww, but I don't wanna."

"Please, or do you want pee on you?"

"Ew no!"

"Then can I-"

"Nooooo!" she cried out with a pout. "I wanna cuddle with daddy!"

"Anna, please."

"Noooooo! I want cuddles!"

'Here we go again.' He thought with a sigh. "Look, if you let me up so I can change, I'll let you….sit on my lap during dinner."

"...really?"

"Yes really."

"Ok." She smiled happily.

"So can you get off now Anna?"

"Ok." she climbed off him as he stood up and looked at the girl who was about half his size with blond hair done up in two pigtails held by blue ribbons and clad in a blue and white dress that you'd find in Alice in Wonderland that showed off her A size chest and small ass, with pointed ears, blue eyes, a long red tail with a heart at the end and two red bat like wings on her back that also had some white lace and blue ribbons on the hooked 'thumbs'. "Love you daddy."

"Love you too dear." he patted her head before heading to his room while she skipped and followed him and into the room, making him stop and turn to her. "Anna?"

"Yes daddy?"

"I need some privacy."

"...ok." She smiled before skipping away. "Have fun with your wee wee~"

He blushed bright and quickly shut the door and tried to think about just getting changed, even though the innocent look on Anna was something that almost made him hold her close against him, and do things a father should never even contemplate. 'Just get dry pants on, and DON'T even think about that stuff. Lord knows it's difficult enough as is, it's gonna be worse later on.'

As he took off his pants, he noticed that someone was sleeping on his bed.

"Zzzzzz."

And snoring very loudly as well, for a curled up lump under his sheets.

He sighed and shook his head. "I should have expected this."

"Zzzzzzzz."

"Mu-li." He called out. "Wake up."

"Zzzzz….pancakes…."

"Mi-li. It's time to take up."

"Zzzzzzzz….daddy sandwich…."

He sighed before saying. "The chickens are loose! Run! They think you're corn again!"

"Zzzzz….too lazy...to care….zzzzz." She snored while moving a little.

'Why did she have to have her mother's laziness?!' he groaned before moving over and started shaking the girl. "Wake up!"

"Zzzzz…." she groaned while grabbing him and started using him as a pillow. "Teddy…"

'Shit! I can't let her wrap around me or else I'm stuck!' he thought before moving his hand up and started to poke against her sides.

"Mmmm…." she froze while holding back a giggle.

"Mu-li, wake up or I'll tickle you."

"Mmm….daddy." She rolled to the right. "Nine more hours…."

"Ok, you asked for this." He said before tickling her sides, which led to her wrapping around him and squeezing tightly.

"HAHAHAHAHA!"

"GAH!" 'MY BACK!' he thought with wide eyes as the tail wrapped around his body was squeezing him like a python.

"HAHAHAHAHA!" She laughed before both rolled out the bed and crashed onto the ground. "Ow...my butt."

"Can't….feel….back." He groaned in pain.

"Daddy? Huh? Daddy? Where are you...yawn." yawned the figure while sitting up and rubbing their eyes.

He groaned in pain while hearing his back popping again. "Mu-li...let go of...me…."

"Huh? Oh, is it morning already?"

"After….noon…."

"Oh...better go back to bed then." She yawned. "I'm not energetic today."

'Or any other day' He thought with a sweatdrop. "Mu-li! Wake up!"

"Huh huh? Pumpkin what? Oh...daddy. Why are you here?"

"I should be asking the same thing from you."

"Yawn...your bed smells nice." She yawned. "I love your smell."

He grumbled at that. "Come on, you need exercise instead of lazing about all the time."

"Yawn...too tired." She yawned.

"Mu-li."

"Zzzzz."

"Fine, but I warned you." He frowned before saying loudly. "You're not getting any breakfast today."

"What nooooo!" She cried out while unwrapping the man. "Don't do it daddy!"

He sighed while looking at his lazy daughter. "I'm not changing my mind Mu-li."

"Come oooooon!"

He sighed. "No."

"You're a big jerk!" She yelled while throwing the covers off her. "A big old fat jerk!"

"I've heard it all before. At least you're more awake now, which means you DO have the energy to get up." He frowned.

She flinched while the man looked over his daughter. 'Curses! Foiled again!'

"Now you can either get out and go outside, and you might get breakfast, or sleep the day away and let your sisters get all for themselves."

She grumbled while the man smirked.

"I'm waiting." He said as the girl was about as tall as him, but with a long yet very thick black serpentine tail with red feathers on the spine, two golden horns, long white hair going to her small ass, with dragon like hands, long fin like ears, a J cup chest with two hands on the sides holding them in place, a very flabby stomach, dark red eyes, with what looked like a light green and red shoulderless kimono with yellow threads, dark green cloth around the hips, a yellow circular gem above her cleavage and on the sides of her head, with what looked like long red strings going down her sides with gold bells as well as a golden orb sticking out from her belly button.

"Mmmmmmmmmmmm." she hummed with her eyes closed before sighing. "Oh alright."

He nodded. "Now go feed the chickens."

"Yes daddy." She grumbled before slithering away in defeat. 'Next time daddy, next time!'

"Yeow!" a cat hissed at the same time while walking by the windowsill.

"Quiet you!"

The cat hissed before running away as the man yawned.

'Finally, some sleep.' he crawled under the sheets and passed out.

(About five minutes later)

"Zzzzz." he snored while drooling on his pillow.

As he slept, he didn't notice that someone was making a loud racket in the room next door, which sounded like someone was trying to fix a car.

WEREEEEEEEEEEEEE!

BANG BANG!

FLUSSSSSSS!

WEREEEEEEE!

He groaned while getting bags around his eyes from the noise. He pulled his pillow over his head to try and block it out.

BANG BANG BANG!

WEREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

'Damn it!' He thought in annoyance. 'Damn it Hephia!'

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG!

KABOOOOM!

He sat up with a groan before stamping out of his room and slammed open the door next to him, revealing it was covered in furnaces, car parts and lots of oil. "HEPHIA!"

The noise ceased while the sounds of gulping could be heard in the background.

"Hephia, get out here young lady."

Silence.

"Hephia! Come out or no forging privileges for a year!"

"...will you not yell?"

He pinched his nose. "Fine, but my punishment still stands."

"I'm coming!" She called out.

THUMP!

THUMP!

THUMP!

THUMP!

"I didn't mean to make so much noise! I-I was working on something big!" she called out while revealing a 6 foot tall woman with blue skin, a single long horn, a large purple eye, dark violet hair that went to her large ass, pointed ears, a K cup chest, and wearing nothing but a small pair of black panties and a white bra full of sweat. "I-I was almost done too which you came."

"Is it another attempt to turn the tractor into a robotic automaton? We don't need another girl exploding again." he asked while blushing seeing what she was wearing and glanced away. "Shouldn't you be wearing a smock? You could get yourself hurt if your room is so warm."

"I'm a-a cyclops. I'm flame resistant." Hephia stuttered. "And...I'm sorry for not wearing a smock. I'm just so used to being naked."

"Hephia? We've been over this. You can't go around in your birthday suit. Now tell me what you're working on."

She nodded while pointing to a large vacuum machine with suction cups on the sides. "It's a human...milking machine. For humans that get turned into monsunos like Minotaurs, it's fast and easy to handle, plus….it might make them less horny."

"They WILL get horny from that!"

"Well….it's at least worth a shot, right?"

He deadpanned. "Just stop working and let me sleep, or no more forging."

Hephia nodded. "Yes daddy."

'That was easier than the last time.' he thought before walking away.

But as he did-

GROWL!

His stomach started to call for food.

'Better see what's in the fridge.'

GROWL!

(In the kitchen)

He walked down the stairs and over to the freshly cleaned kitchen. He then walked to the fridge and stopped. 'Wait...what if one of my daughters got stuck in the fridge again? Mmm….they're not that stupid, maybe airheaded, but not stupid.'

That's when he saw the fridge begin to shake a little.

"Eh?" He saw it move again. "God damn it! The raccoons again!" he grabbed a kitchen knife and the rail. "How many times do I have to say it? That's our food!"

Rattle rattle rattle rattle!

"Get out of there you thieves!" he pulled the door open with a battle cry, but kept from stabbing inside when he looked and let out a sigh. "Ty Lee, what are you doing in there?"

Within the fridge, was a blue skinned woman with long black hair that was in a ponytail, dark sea green eyes, long pink nails, a F cup chest, wearing a black and gold chinese dress that showed off her large hips and chest, long shoulder less sleeves, gold slippers, a large hat with a white ball on the top and some tassels on the sides, a yin-yang symbol on her stomach and had a strange sutra over her forehead that only covered her forehead as several more were on her wrists and semi flat stomach, who had a fish bone in her mouth.

"Um….hi daddy?" She said while looking like she got caught with her hands in the cookie jar. "Cold day isn't it?"

"Don't ignore me, what are you doing inside the fridge? Were you looking for something? If you were, why not just reach in and grab it?"

"Well I did, but then I thought, 'why not jump in and get it from the fridge fairy?' So here I am, still looking for that fairy."

"...there is no fridge fairy."

"Eh?! But the food-"

"I put them there."

"...so you're a fairy?! Oh my gods! Daddy is a fairy!"

He facepalmed and shook his head. 'Sometimes I forget how naive she is.' "No Ty Lee, I'm still a human, remember?"

"..." she blinked. "So no fairy daddy?"

"Nope."

She pouted. "Aw."

"How long have you been in here anyway?"

"Um….two days?" She said with a smile.

"...why didn't you just open the door?"

"Yes, but I did that yesterday. And I was looking for the fairy daddy." She said like it was normal.

He facepalmed. "I'm getting you out THEN you are going to take a long shower, hot water this time, until your joints and brain work."

"Why?"

"Just do it." he reached in and pulled her out with a grunt.

Only for her breasts to get released as she suddenly fell on him.

"Mmm!"

"So stiff….can't feel body parts."

'Why me?!'

(One dragging later)

The water turned on as the man placed Ty Lee, naked, into the large bathtub.

"Ahhhhhhh~ My body….is melting….oh my gods! I'm a slime!"

"No, your joints are just loosening up, like all the other times."

"..." she looked at him with bewilderment. "Eh?"

He sighed and walked away. "Stay there until your joints are loosened, and please turn the water off afterwards."

"Ok daddy!"

'Sometimes I wish she had more brains like her mother….no no. Bad comparison. Like me.' he thought while Ty Lee started to splash a little with a smile.

"La la la la." She sang. "La la la la la."

He smiled at the singing while going back down to the kitchen for some food. 'That should keep her busy for some time.'

As he went into the kitchen, he noticed the lights were turned off.

'Not this again.' He thought with a grumble. 'She is always trying to scare me, but jokes on her, I'm only afraid of turkeys.'

"Gobble gobble!" said a voice from the darkness.

"AH!" he cried jumping and looking around. "Get away you demons with feathers!"

"Gobble gobble!"

He screamed again before someone whispered in his ear.

"The turkey is here to gobble gobble you up daddy dear~"

"Damn it Sam!"

"Ha ha ha! You are so funny." laughed the voice while sobbing a little. "Daddy you scary cat! Ha ha!"

"I told you to knock that off!"

"You only told me not to sing to you in the tub, not scaring you with turkey noises."

He frowned at that while turning on the light switch.

Boing~

"That's my boob daddy." She laughed while sobbing again.

He turned red while looking for the light switch.

Boing~

"My boob again."

"Sam just turn the lights on!"

Click.

And cue the lights turning on while revealing a tall pale marble skinned woman with long black hair covering her back and part of her right face, pointed ears, dark gray eyes, with a wide ass and a I cup chest, dark triangular mascara going down both of her eyes, and was only wearing her birthday suit.

"Hi daddy." She said while crying a little, her mascara falling apart in the process and running down her cheeks like black blood. "Like the scare?"

He turned red at that. "Where's your clothes?!"

"In the wash. I just finished cleaning the barn, and the coops, and the basement." She sniffled while smiling. "And I just brought in the onions."

'That explains the tears...wait? She's a Banshee! Crying is in her nature!' he covered his eyes. "Borrow one of your sister's dresses, or at least underwear, something."

"Ok." She said before walking away. "And daddy."

"Yes?" He asked while the girl moved closer to him.

"GOBBLE GOBBLE!"

"AHHHHHH!"

"Ha ha ha! Got you! Ha ha!" She laughed while running up the stairs, crying still. 'Damn my tears, I can't see anything!'

"SAM!" he yelled out with annoyance.

But she was gone as the man grumbled and pinched his nose.

'She's so unlike her mother, at least she tried to not scare me every day of the week. Only on halloween.' He thought before getting his sandwich.

(Later)

'I needed that ham sandwich.' He muttered in his head while resting on the couch for some peace and quiet, possibly getting some shut eye in the process.

But as we all know, that's never going to happen in this residence.

'Now to get some sleep.' he thought as his eyes began to slowly close.

Only to realize that someone was breathing right next to him.

"Um….."

"..."

"Um…...daddy...um…."

"What is it Miyu?"

"Um….can I sleep with you? No, I mean...um…."

'Oh no, asking to sleep with me? That could lead to-NO! Don't you DARE finish that thought!' he yelled before turning his head.

"Um….." said the girl while under a very thick blanket. "Sleep with you, um...maybe? No? Yes? Perhaps? Um…."

"Miyu, I wanna take a nap by myself right now."

"Um…"

"Miyu."

"Please….?"

"Are you sure about that?"

"Um….I….I mean we? Um...well….um…."

"Remember what we talked about. When deciding something, ask yourself if you're one hundred percent sure."

"Um….well…." she said while looking confused under the blanket. "Um….group huddle!"

The man sweatdropped while hearing his daughter talking to herself in secret, again. 'I really need to spend more time helping her settle on decisions.'

As the girl kept on talking to herself, the man started to yawn.

'But at least she's not fighting with herself like last time.'

"Ok! I'm sure!...I think."

"Well can you at least take off the sheet and tell it to my face?"

"Ok….maybe….I think…" she trailed off before her father reached over and pulled it off her, making her jump. "Hey! I wasn't sure yet!"

"It had to be done." he replied, looking at his daughter who had a human face with long red hair with glowing red eyes, two pointy black dog ears poking out, with grey chest and body armor, but with a long red scaled snake tail coming out from her behind with a yellow under belly, a G cup chest and small ass, the right arm that was white furred with black stripes and sharp claws with what looked like a tiger's face on her shoulder, while on the left arm it had a black dog's face on the shoulder with the arm covered in black fur and claws like a canine. Her legs had knee high grey armor guards with no shoes, and around her neck coiled was what looked like the head of a cobra that was red scaled with a yellow face and glowing green eyes with a hood.

"So bright." She grunted while covering all her eyes. "No...um….group hudd-"

"Sssssss."

"I know-"

"Grrrr."

"Stop inter-"

"Holy holy!"

"Knock it off! I'm not converting to Odin!"

"Ssss!"

"Shut up!"

"ARF ARF!"

"Don't call me fat! I'm not fat-"

"ARF!"

"My butt isn't THAT big-"

"Ahem." The man coughed, getting her attention. "Still here you know."

She blushed and coughed. "Sorry daddy….um….can I sleep with you now?"

"As long as you don't make too much noise." he sighed.

"Ssssss."

"ARF ARF!"

"Holy holy!"

"Grrrrr."

"Knock it off!" Miyu snapped. "Ok daddy, sorry about myself….and other things."

'To think she's a chimera with Apophis, Jinko, Valkyrie and Hellhound parts. Her mother was a normal one though….how odd.' He thought while the girl laid on his stomach. "I expect all your heads to keep it down."

"I will….I mean we...I mean….um…." she muttered while the heads muttered. "I know...just sleep, especially you doggy."

"ARF!"

"Hush! Daddy is tired."

He yawned before closing his eyes.

(Later on)

"Oi! Wake up!"

"Zzzzzzzzzzz." He snored while on the floor, his face covered in drool.

"Wake up!" came the voice again before the man felt someone shaking him.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"ARF!"

"SSSSSS!"

"HOLY HOLY!"

"GRRRRRRRR!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" He cried out before getting sent flying into a wall, head first. "Ugh….."

"Daddy wake up!" growled the person. "You're sleeping too damn much!"

"Leave daddy alone….I think?" Miyu frowned.

"Go away before I turn your tail into a pretzel!"

And cue Miyu running away in fear as the man groaned in pain.

'Why me? WHY?!' he thought before getting yanked out of the wall and fell on the floor. "Ow…"

"Daddy!"

"Ugh….Rukia, you need to stay calm. Remember what the doctor said?"

"She's a quack!"

"...she was an Owl Mage."

"So what?! She's a quack and I'm not ANGRY!"

"Then why are you yelling?"

"Because I'm waiting for you to give me a bath!"

'Oh right, today's bath night….shit, I thought it was tomorrow.'

"I want a bubble bath, NOW!"

"Ok ok! Just take deep breaths first."

"I will not!"

"Then no baths."

"Grrrrrrrr." She growled while looking ready to attack something.

"Rukia, deep breaths." He said sternly.

She growled while taking very quick breaths that seemed to make her even more angry.

"Now go to the bath and I'll be right there."

She growled while stomping towards the stairs, and tripped on her own feet, sending her crashing onto the floor. "FUCK!"

And cue a very pissed off dad who heard a naughty word he never taught his own children.

"**Rukia.**"

"Sorry sorry." she grumbled.

He walked towards her and frowned. "**Sorry doesn't cut it. Show me your rear, now.**"

'Ah! Not the spanks of death!' She thought in fear.

"**Don't make me count down from three.**"

"I said I was sorry!"

He frowned. "**Three.**"

"I said sorry!"

"**Two.**" He frowned while raising his right hand up. "**One and a half.**"

"Ok ok ok!" She cried out while showing off her butt.

"**Take off the dress.**" He frowned.

"Yes daddy." She gulped while revealing herself to be a tanned woman with thick pointed ears like that of a cow, short brownish pink hair, dark green eyes, a small set of freckles on her cheeks, large feet and hands, a long black cow like tail, a H cup chest and thick ass, and wearing a long thick green dress with an apron on the front as well as exposed her upper cleavage and was covered in black and blue wild roses.

He watched her lift up the dress as she exposed her pink cat panties and massive ass.

SLAP!

And started to slap like there was no tomorrow on the girl's rump.

"Ow! Ouch! Ow! Eeps! Yeow!"

SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP!

(Many slaps later)

"Owie…." she mumbled while holding her red rear.

"That's a reminder on what I say about cursing around me." He said while slightly calmer, but very disappointed at his daughter.

"Owie...yes daddy…"

"Next time, I will revoke your music and bath time privileges. Do you understand Rukia?"

"Yes daddy…."

"Now go to your room, you won't get a bath until after dinner. On the double." He pointed to the stairs with a frown.

She nodded before making her way up them with a frown. 'Meany.'

"And don't sneak down here or I'm grounding you for a year."

"Ok."

He sighed while pinching his nose. 'What am I going to do with her? If her mother was here maybe I can get through to her….ugh. Being a parent to an aggressive troll is so difficult sometimes.'

(Later)

He sighed while preparing dinner, which was cooked pig with extra broccoli and onion, while hoping no one comes in and steals any deserts. He kept an eye near the doorways just to be on the safe side though. 'Knowing them, they might dig their way in here.'

As he kept watch, a figure outside is sneaking towards the window due to the aroma of food in the air.

'Daddy's making dinner….maybe I can grab a quick bite without being seen.'

The figure moved closer and closer to the window while the man eyed the oven.

'Hopefully this one doesn't explode like last time.' He thought. 'Otherwise Hephia will try to make a bigger one, and it'll take up most of the kitchen space.'

The figure moved near the window while not seeing Mu-li snoring under the window.

"Zzzzzz….pies…." She snored while her tail moved near the figure's right foot.

SQUISH!

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" She screamed in pain while rolling on the grass and sent the person flying into the kitchen. "MY TAIL! MY TAIL!"

"EEEEEEEEEEEK!"

CRASH!

Pots and pans went flying as the man jumped and caused the large knife he was holding to go right onto the floor.

"EEEK!"

Right near the person's face.

"What the-!?" He looked away while on edge. "Who's there?! I'm armed!"

"D-D-Daddy…."

He blinked while hearing that familiar voice. "Cassy?"

"Daddy…." the girl sniffled while crying a little. "I...I'm sorry…"

"Why did you come flying in through the window?"

"I...I got sent flying…." She sniffled. "And...I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

'She's going into another apology session. Better stop her.' he reached over before rubbing her head and pulling her into a hug.

"H-Huh?!" She stuttered while blushing heavily. "D-D-Daddy?!"

"There there, don't cry. Don't cry." he whispered while trying to comfort her. "It's alright."

She sniffled while hugging him back. "Daddy…"

He rubbed her back while he felt her chest against his own.

Boing.

He bit his tongue to focus and smiled. "Wanna tell me why you got sent flying?"

"She hurt me!" Mu-li called out from outside while pointing to her tail. "She stepped on my….zzzzzz."

"I'm sorry!" cried out Cassy with tears in her eyes. "I-I-I-I just meant to sneak in and grab a small bite of dinner because it smelled so good!"

"Cassy. You know the rules."

"B-But….I'm hungry." She pouted while the man sighed.

"I know, but dinner will be ready when it's ready."

She pouted.

"Don't pout at me."

"Aw." She pouted again while revealing to the audience that she was a nine foot tall girl with tanned skin, long pointed ears with long silver bell like earrings, long purple hair that went to her large ass, dark sea green eyes, two curved yet pointed dark blue horns with gold tips, a long black tail with a pointed tip, two long black wings with a golden point, pointed blue nails, a H cup chest, wearing a thick red jacket with blue fur on the sides, dark purple boots with a red eye on the front, dark red tattoos on her cheeks, and had a dark black bikini and panties that seemed too small for her body. "Meany."

"Cassy." He sighed.

She looked down while her tail wagged a little and her wings flapped. "D-Daddy...can...can...can I…."

"What?"

"...help?"

"You mean with cooking?"

She nodded.

He smiled while patting her head, making the tail wag even faster. 'Like a puppy.'

"Is that a yes?"

She nodded while smiling. "Please...daddy."

'So cute! She's a cute demon!'

BEEP BEEP BEEP!

'Crap! The ham!' he ran to the oven and opened it up. "Alright, but listen to me closely, alright?"

"Yes daddy." Cassy said with a heavenly smile.

'SO CUTE!'

(Later on)

"There we go, everythings ready."

Cassy smiled while looking at the large ham covered in broccoli and onions. "Yum…"

"Now Cassy. I'm going to set the table, I want you to guard the ham from your other siblings, I know this is a big responsibility but." He placed a hand on her shoulder. "I believe in you."

She smiled and nodded. "Ok daddy!"

He smiled while walking to the dining room, but turned to see his daughter. "Remember, guard the ham."

She gave a thumbs up while her tail wagged like a bull whip. "Yes daddy."

He smiled while turning around, only to see a mountain of princess dolls all over the place, and he knew who it was. "...Maria!"

(In a small bedroom)

The room was filled with several pillows and sheets with curtains surrounding a bed.

All around said bed was a trillion princess dolls with several knights surrounding them like little guards.

Knock knock!

"Maria! Maria open the door!"

Silence.

"Maria!"

More silence.

"Don't make me open this door!"

Silence.

He frowned before opening the door, only to find it was pitch black. 'Damn it, she turned the lights off!' he moved inside and felt around for the switch.

Click.

Only for him to turn on the fan.

Click.

Which led to him turning on the A/C.

Click.

Which then led to him activating Hephia's robotic attack squid arm that slapped him on the face.

"Ow! Why did she even install that?!"

Click.

And cue the lights finally turning on.

He sighed while seeing the ground covered in plushes and dolls. He carefully stepped over them and to the bed before pulling the curtains open. "Maria?"

Silence.

He sighed while the curtains kept the figure covered from the sun's rays. "Maria."

Silence.

He grumbled at this. "Maria, wake up, time for dinner."

More silence.

He grumbled before seeing a sticky note on a princess doll that said '_Kiss the princess oh noble prince and wake her from her cursed sleep~_'. 'Not this again.' he reached out and shook the figure under the sheets. "Maria, get up."

And lo from the sheets came….only silence.

"Maria!"

Silence.

He growled while getting a little impatient. "Maria!"

Silence.

He sighed before yanking the sheets away to reveal a woman with her eyes closed, her hands clasped over her chest. She had bright orange hair, which happened to be sleeping snakes curled around her face that were sandy brown, pointed ears, her skin being sandy yellow with scales around her face and hands colored navy blue, a long serpentine tail that went off the bed while a crimson tattoo went down the front of the scales, on her sides were dark purple snake like tattoos that went from her large ass to the under sides of her E cup chest, while currently naked.

In a sense, a naked Sleeping Beauty….which is just weird if you think about it.

"Damn it, she couldn't even bother with a top for this?" groaned the man while noting the woman with her lips noticeably glossy, showing she had lip gloss on. "Maria, get up, now."

Silence.

She kept on being still while her body seemed to be completely slow.

'Did she forget to turn the heat up or something?!' He thought while seeing her lips and noticed that it was a shade of pink watermelon. 'And when did she get the lip gloss?'

The girl's breathing seemed to grow slower and slower while the man started to panic, as if she enters hibernation or worse death, she might turn either into an undead monster or become a very hungry 'bear' after a few months.

"Shit, come on Maria, wake up and stop with this!"

Silence.

He grumbled before looking at the message. 'Damn it Maria! You really forced my hands….and I have to concede defeat.' he sighed before looming over her and closed his eyes. 'J-Just make it quick, don't do it longer than a second.'

Chu.

And cue her waking up with a yawn as her emerald eyes hazily looked around.

"Mah….huh?" She looked at the man and gasped. "My prince! You've come for me!"

"Maria, it's me, your father." he deadpanned.

"...so?" She cocked her head to the side while the snakes yawned.

"Look, it's time to get up, dinner time."

"Ok." She said while slithering to the door, still naked.

"With clothes on!"

"Eh...pervert~" she teased her father with a smile.

"Maria I'm serious!"

She pouted while going to get some clothes from the closet. "You're no fun daddy."

"I'm not supposed to be." He deadpanned while Maria placed a heavy red bathrobe on her shoulders.

"There, I'm dressed."

"Good, now downstairs."

She huffed while slithering out of the room. "Why mother loved you and not a prince is beyond me."

'Hurtful.' He thought while knowing that her mother married him because he saved her from a demon lord wannabe. 'And I'm revoking her doll time after dinner.'

(Later on)

He sat at the head of the table while his daughters sat on both sides, the food out in front of them. "Alright girls, dig in."

And cue Mu-li falling asleep on the ham.

"Zzzzz."

He facepalmed while Sam slapped the sibling's face.

"Wake up!"

"Ow!"

"That's my line." growled Rukia while Anastasia smirked.

"Sorry, but I'm the tough one here. You're the easily aggravated girl here."

"The he-" she stood up and saw her dad raise an eyebrow, making her stop and glare at her sister. "I. Am. NOT. Aggravated."

"Y-You are…" Anna stuttered while Ty Lee burped.

"Ah. Daddy makes the best food, even better than Maria."

Said girl deadpanned. "Princesses don't cook, besides I'm a princess to be."

"So you're lazy?" She asked.

"Zzzzzzz." Mu-li snored before hearing the comment. "I'm not lazy, I'm easily tired."

They all deadpanned at her.

"What it's true!"

"You fall asleep or forget to clean." Miyu said with the heads agreeing. "Like the time you let the sheep out, after you got the job."

"I couldn't help it, it was so sunny out and warm, plus seeing them hop around made me count them, and I got tired."

Hephia smirked. "Keep that up and I might invent a set of permanent tasers to your face."

"No no...zzzzzz." She snored while Anastasia laughed and slapped Sam across the back.

"Oh I love that girl! Right Sammy? Sammy? Hello?" She looked right into her eyes and saw her crying. "Really? Crying at the table? How unlike you."

"I'm a banshee. It's my nature you cat." Sam huffed. "Like how you lick your ass when no ones looking."

"It's called grooming!" she yelled with a blush.

"Keep telling yourself that."

She growled while the man sighed.

'Here we go again.' He thought as the girls started another fight, a regular occurrence at the dinner table. 'When will they mature and act more like normal girls...no. Normal girls are just as insane, especially at their age.'

"Daddy! Tell them to stop!" cried Anna grabbing his arm with a pout. "They're scaring me."

He sighed before coughing. "Girls."

But they continued to bicker as the yelling got even louder.

"Girls."

They kept on fighting while the man started to get mad.

"**GIRLS!**"

All of them stopped and turned to see him crossing his arms.

"Sit down. Eat. And NO fighting."

They gulped while going back to their meals, looking either fearful or angry, mostly fearful.

'At least they stopped….for now.' He thought while grabbing his fork. He bit into the ham and glanced at them as they ate, but began to stop when he noticed something coming on, went wide eyed and coughed. "Girls, I'll be right back, I have to check on something in the pantry."

"Huh?" said Ty Lee. "Why?"

"Don't worry about it, just focus on supper." He said while getting up.

"Ok?" She said while watching her daddy walk to the pantry. "Maybe he's looking for pancake fairies?"

The girls facepalmed at that.

(With the man)

He closed and locked the door, took a deep breath, and groaned to himself while looking panicked as he squatted and held his head and stared at his groin where a bulge was visible. "Take deep breaths damn it. You've gotta remember self control. You need to remember they're your little girls."

As his bulge remained hard, he took deep breaths and tried to think of other things.

"Cold cool winter, frozen tundra." he muttered while rubbing his arms. 'If I could go far away I'd take it, only if it means I don't cross a line, but then they'd be all on their own and vulnerable. So so vulnerable….no! Focus!'

Now you're wondering, what the fuck is going on? And that my dear readers is simply the byproduct of lust.

And no it wasn't pedophilia, he never had that occur when they were born and it didn't manifest until they were twenty years of age. Being forced to raise them on his own, in a secluded home, lead to the demonic lust that all monster girls naturally had affected him like any male, which horrified him and made him try numerous times to keep his moral compass intact.

The problem was that unlike most men, who would've been turned into an incubus in a second of being in close proximity to a set of ten monsuno girls, he was blessed with a strange magic that seemed to work half the time, the first half shielding him from the effects of the miasma, the second half though was the problem….

The hormones.

Yep, like every human or animal in existence, his hormones were affecting him negatively. It wasn't his fault entirely though, for when he was younger human girls didn't make him comfortable, monsunos however did. So in the long run...he was screwed long before they were born.

"Keep it together damn it. You can't take advantage of them. You raised them, you were there when they hit puberty, and you saw them grow into fine, beautiful, young women. Just keep that in mind and ignore anything that goes over that." He muttered while focusing very hard, although he knew that he was reaching his limits.

What do you expect? He's getting old and the girls were still unmarried, beautiful and overall depended on him. It was a guy's ultimate dream for a harem….but not for a budding father!

"Oh why did they all have to grow up so well? Why couldn't they have had a rebel phase? All of them are so wonderful in their own way, any guy would be lucky to have them." He groaned while his bulge started to poke out of his pants. "Damn it! Go down!"

Knock knock.

"Daddy." called Sam with a frown. "Are you done in there? Your food is getting cold!"

He paled. "Y-Yes sweetie, just a minute."

"Hurry up, Mu-li is eyeing the food!"

He groaned.

"Huh? Is there something wrong?"

"No no, I'm good." he sighed. 'Keep it together and don't let your mind wander.'

And cue him seeing his dick getting smaller.

'Finally.'

"Well ok, but if you need anything, just call."

"Can do." He said while hearing the footsteps going away from the pantry. 'Damn it!'

(Later)

"Sorry about that girls, I'm back." He said while noticing that his daughters were busy playing chess on the table, except for Mu-li who was sleeping on her ham still. "Girls, no playing chess on the table."

"But it's fun." Hephia said. "Plus the board and pieces are made of ham and broccoli."

He frowned. "Girls! We discussed this, no playing with your food."

"Sorry daddy."

He sighed before taking a seat, only to notice that Anna was staring at him. "Yes?"

"..."

"Anna?"

"...can I sit on your lap daddy?"

He stiffened up and blushed while Cassy perked up. "W-What?"

"Can I...sit on your lap?"

Cassy moved closer to the man and looked a little upset. "Me...me too."

He gulped while the other girls took interest in this and stopped playing chess to watch the fun. "I uh...I'm not sure about that."

Both looked at him. "Please daddy?"

'Crap! Too cute!' he thought before sighing. "Alright."

And cue both of them sitting on his lap, causing the chair to creak from the pressure.

'HEAVY!'

"That looks fun!" Ty Lee grinned while jumping onto the man's lap. "Lap attack!"

"Oof!" he let out from the extra weight.

Maria chuckled. "What neophytes. A real lady doesn't jump onto a man's lap."

"And you're a real lady?" Anastasia teased. "You're not even twenty five."

She blushed. "T-That has nothing to do with anything!"

"So you don't mind if these three take your 'ladyship' away?" Anastasia pointed to the three sisters.

"W-What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh you know." Anastasia smirked. "The fact that you can't even get daddy to fall for your princess act. Just look at those three, they're daddy's angels and you? You're not even his favorite."

"Take that back you puny little housecat."

"No." She smirked. "And for your information, I'm his favorite."

"No me!" Rukia growled while overhearing the conversation along with the other girls. "I'm daddy's favorite you poor excuse of a jaguar!"

"At least I don't have feet that could eclipse the sun."

"Why you little!"

"We are the favorite." Miyu frowned in unison.

"I am...zzzz." Mu-lu yawned while waking up. "His favorite."

"No me." growled Sam.

"Daddy likes me." Hephia frowned. "I do the most work here."

"I'm his favorite!" Ty Lee smiled while Alice and Anna started to glare at the other. "I'm the middle child and all middle children are loved the most by their daddies!"

"Bull!" they all yelled, making their dad turn with confusion.

"Girls? Is something wrong?"

"NO!" They all yelled at once before the very air started to crackle with burnt ozone and a pungent miasma.

He gulped before seeing his girls jump at each other and proceed to attack the other in rage and aggression.

CRASH!

BAM!

KAPOW!

CRACK!

SHATTER!

SPLAT!

BOOOM!

"GIRLS! Girls stop this right now!" He yelled while the girls didn't stop fighting and started to destroy the entire dining room.

"I'm his favorite!"

"No me!"

"Me!"

"ME!"

BAM!

KAPOW!

CRASH!

'No no no! Not the silverware!' He thought in s panic before seeing some blood fall from the girl's open cuts or bloodied body parts, causing him to turn a sickly pale color. 'MY BABIES!'

"DADDY IS MI-"

"**STOP!**" He yelled while having enough anger to cause the girls to freeze in place like a Medusa's gaze. "**KNOCK IT OFF RIGHT NOW!**"

All ten gulped while seeing their daddy in a rage never seen before, which made them both scared and slightly aroused.

"Get yourselves cleaned up, then report to the living room." He ordered with a lot of anger in his tone.

"Ok daddy." They gulped while limping out of the room, with Ty Lee remaining as her arms and legs were punched or ripped off during the struggle.

"Daddy?" She said while looking a bit scared. "A little...help? I can't feel my limbs."

(Later)

"Alright girls, do you know why you're all here?"

They looked away while Ty Lee was getting her arms placed back in their sockets.

"Well?"

"Because we attacked each other?" Anna asked while looking embarrassed and is currently hiding behind the couch.

He nodded while crossing his arms. "Yes, while also destroying the dinner room."

"Zzzz." Mu-li snored before getting a punch to the stomach by Rukia. "Gah! Sorry daddy, but it wasn't our fault. It was Alice and Anna's fault!"

"And me." Ty Lee grumbled while trying to put her right arm back on. "But Maria and Anastasia acted like big mean pig monkeys."

"..." they looked at her funny.

"What? They were being stupid." She said while not understanding why she can't put her fingers into the socket.

"And just how is it their faults?"

"They were talking about sitting on your lap." said Hephia with a sad pout. "Then it started-"

"They aren't your favorites! I am!" Rukia growled. "Tell them daddy that I'M right!"

He let out a loud aggravated sigh of frustration. "I don't care who started it and WHO'S my favorite, you're all responsible for hurting each other and possibly bullying the other!"

"It's not bullying if it's staking a claim." muttred Sam.

He didn't hear that part before looking at Anastasia. "Since you gloated the others, you will be punished with cleaning the dining room."

"AW!"

"As for the others, you're grounded for a year and if you try and argue, your punishment will be five years, do I make myself clear girls?"

"This is bullshit!" Rukia yelled.

"Ok, five years it is. And if you keep this up, I'm adding another five years."

"What?!"

"You heard me." He frowned. "Now, to your bedrooms and Anastasia, go to the kitchen and get the broom."

They groaned while looking genuinely upset and sad.

"In the meantime, I'll be in my room." He said while walking up the stairs. "If this happens ever again, I'm writing to your mothers and allowing them to drag you ten to a monster school. Got it?"

"Yes daddy." They said as the man turned a corner and disappeared from sight. 'Damn it!'

(Later on)

He sighed while in his bed, trying to get some sleep. Sadly though he kept tossing and turning while unable to forget about the punishment. 'Was I too hard on them? Do they hate me? Are they spiteful of me now?'

He sat up and rubbed his head with a sigh. "I had to be firm with them, otherwise they wouldn't have listened."

That was when he thought about his daughters turning into delinquents.

'No! That's not going to happen, I raised them better than that.' He thought while seeing his girl's crying. 'But was I TOO strict with them tonight?!'

This kept on pestering his mind while the hours passed and the moon began to set beyond the horizon. Although one part of his mind was thinking unclean thoughts.

'I'll bet they feel helpless and sad, willing to do anything to get out of this, ANYTHING.'

And cue an image of them crying while getting attacked by a Mindflayer and a Kraken, their tentacles moving all around them and making them cry with pleasure-

'NO! No no no! Stop brain stop!' He thought as the images continued. 'Now isn't the time for something like that! Or any time!'

And cue an image of his girl's jumping onto a nearby Slime and begin to play with it as the slime begins to cum into their bodies.

'NOOOOOOOOOO!' he shook his head before spotting a bulge in the sheets. 'SHIT!'

An image of his girls giving birth to slime eggs appeared while his sheets started to get moist.

'NOOOO! Anything but THAT! MY BABIES!' he thought before getting out of bed and panted. 'If I keep thinking like that, I might end up jumping them!'

As he looked down, he saw his bulge was covered in cum and was looking very close to breaking the fabric.

'Shit! I need to relieve myself!' He thought while hoping his daughters didn't hear him this late at night, especially Hephia, Anastasia and Ty Lee, who were very nocturnal on occasion. He ran to the bathroom and locked the door before dropping his pants and started rubbing his dick. 'Ah! Go down! Go down!'

However, what he didn't know was that Mu-li was sleeping in the bathtub, too lazy to finish her bath and decided to sleep there for the night. She was sucking on her thumb with a nightcap and on her side.

'Mama…' She thought while her tail moved a little as her daddy was busy playing with himself. 'Daddy….pancakes…'

'Come on! Go down!' He thought while his dick was twitching like crazy. 'Go down!'

Mu-li sniffed the air while licking her lips. 'Whip cream~'

"Damn it, just go down already!" He growled before accidentally cumming into the bathtub.

Splat.

And into Mu-li's mouth as she tasted it and felt warm.

"Ah...ah…" he panted, before noticing the horns sticking out and paled.

She yawned while opening one eye. "Whip cream...must have more...zzzz."

'Oh shit!' he thought before Mu-li turned and rubbed her eyes.

"Huh?" She looked at the man and sniffed him. "Daddy? Where's the pancakes?"

"M-M-Mu-li? H-H-How long have you been here?"

"Huh? All night?" She yawned. "Is it breakfast time yet?"

"N-No." 'Oh no!'

Mu-li sniffed the cock before licking it and began to get hungry. "Mmmmm~"

He paled while his worst fear appeared….his daughter was becoming a TRUE monsuno! "M-Mu-li! Stop!"

"Mmmm~" she moaned while her eyes seemed to glisten like a star as her tail moved out of the tub. "Tasty~"

'Shit! I need to flee!' he thought before he bolted for the door.

Only to bump into a very tired but still awake Anastasia, who was trying to sneak a snack.

"Huh?" She looked at her daddy and saw the cock, only for her instincts to kick in and she tried to pounce on him while speaking in an unknown tongue. "For the goddess! Tezcatlipoca!"

"AHHHHH!" He screamed while waking the house in the process as he ran in the opposite direction. "I need to barricade myself in my room!"

As he ran, he momentarily forgot which room was his own and barricaded himself into Maria's room, who was currently trying to sleep.

"Zzzzzz." She snored while looking like a princess, even if she was in her birthday suit again.

'Oh come on!' he thought while staring over her form, and considering his dick was out, his inner pervert was out and strong. 'Then again...'

'**Do it. Fuck her up, she's a spoiled princess. She never finishes her greens, punish her.**'

'But...But she's my daughter, and she's sleeping, completely helpless, it's wrong!'

'**Punish her. She's in need of some sausage!**'

"Zzzzzz." Maria snored while the man felt his will power decreasing.

'**Give the bitch a spanking! And some jizzzzzz! Hahahaha!**'

"Zzzzzz."

He gulped before his inner pervert succeeded and caused him to move closer to the girl. He gulped and frowned. "You brought this on yourself Maria, trying to play the innocent princess when you sleep in the nude. Well I'll wake you up with something much better than a kiss."

She kept on snoring while the cock moved right near her face. "Zzzzz."

"Open wide and see what a real dick tastes like." He smirked before one of the snake heads yawned and clamped onto his tip. He shivered from the move, but didn't pull back when he felt it lick across the tip. 'Ow! Ok...don't think of the fangs.'

It kept on licking while we notice that Maria was slowly waking up, her eyes moving a little as the dick twitched in her 'mouth'.

"It feels too good! Here I come!" He grunted as cum entered into the mouth, waking Maria up with a jolt.

"OH MY WORD!" She gasped while slapping the man with her tail right through the door and into Hephia's room. "INTRUDER!" 'EVIL DRAGON! AHHHH!'

CRASH!

He groaned while landing on the ground with a thud. 'Bad pervert...bad….'

'**Look up! It's the big girl Hephia! And she's sleeping in the nude!**'

"Say what?" He looked up and saw Hepia sleeping right next to him, naked and sweating from the heat.

"Zzzzzzz."

He gulped and stared at her chest with his dick staying hard.

'**Fuck her ass!**'

'No!'

'**You've already had your dick sucked, might as well go wild.**'

He groaned while not noticing that Rukia was sleeping under Hephia's chest, trying to get warm after her AC broke earlier that evening. "Fuck you're right."

'**Then just go up and give them some cream.**'

He nodded and moved over before giving Hephia's breasts a firm squeeze and rolled them in his hands.

"Mmmm." She moaned while Rukia scratched her ass. "Mmmm."

"Zzzzzz."

'Soft.' he thought with a gulp. 'I wish I slept on a pillow like these. God cyclops are gifted.'

'**And she's only going to flaunt them to some guy.**'

He frowned while Rukia rolled on his face and caused him to grasp Hephia's chest tightly.

"Mmmmm?!"

"Zzzzzz." Rukia snored while the man's face was in between the cheeks.

'Rukia?! What's she doing here?!'

'**Who cares? Threesome time!**'

He felt his dick getting hard at the mention of threesomes. 'Good point.'

As this happened, Anastasia and Mu-li were busy talking to Maria about the intruder.

"I'm telling you." Anastasia growled with lust while momentarily speaking another language. "That man needs to be sacrificed to my womanhood!"

"No, we need to get his cream." Mu-li smirked. "And sample more of it."

"No! We need to catch him! He was-was trying to do who knows what to royalty!" Maria frowned.

"Sacrifice!"

"Sample."

"Catch him you buffoons!"

As this happened, Anna walked out of her bedroom while holding a teddy bear.

"Yawn….what's going on?" She yawned while Sam, Miyu, Ty Lee and Cassy walked out of their rooms due to the noise. "Where's daddy?"

"We don't know, but there's an intruder in here!"

She looked confused while Ty Lee looked around.

"Where's Hephia and Rukia? Wait...did you say the intruder was made of cream...oh my! We have a cream slime!" She gasped. "We must save them!"

"But daddy…." Cassy gulped. "He's in danger."

And cue loud moans ringing out from Hephia's room.

"It's got Hephia!"

"Let's save her!"

Miyu nodded before charging at the door.

CRASH!

"OW!" She rubbed her head. "That hurt! Damn it, I told you four not to tackle the door, ow!"

"Ssssss!"

"Grrrrr."

"Holy holy!"

"Arf arf!"

"You idiots!"

That was when a grunt was heard along with a loud popping sound.

"Ah! We need to get in there now!" Ty Lee cried out in horror.

"Sam, scream!"

Sam took her breath before-

"**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!**"

KABOOOOOOOOM!

And caused the door to go flying into Hephia's face, waking her up.

"GAH! What the hell?!" she yelled looking around. "What's going-oooh~"

The man squeezed her breasts while Rukia slowly opened one eye and felt something between her ass cheeks.

"Eh…." she looked down and growled in rage before forming a fist with her right hand. "**DADDY!**"

"Uh….surprise?"

KAPOW!

(Much later)

He groaned while slowly waking up, and felt like a Sandworm just tackled him across an entire continent. "Ugh...what hit me?"

"I DID!"

He blinked before seeing his daughters all around him, angry and in shock, as he just realized he was tied up and naked on the floor.

"YOU FUCKING BASTARD! YOU TRIED TO FUCK US!"

'**You're an A student now. From threesome to elevensomes~**'

'NOT HELPING!'

"Daddy, explain, now." frowned Anastasia.

"Um…."

"Daddy?" Anna sniffled. "Are you sick?"

'Not the puppy eyes!'

"Of course not! He tried to fuck me!" growled Rukia. "IN THE ASS!"

"And squeezed my chest." Hephia frowned with anger.

"And tried to rape me." Maria huffed as Anastasia looked at him lustfully and Mu-li looked disappointed. "In my sleep."

'Oh god! I knew this would happen!'

'**Knew what? That you got a harem or that you're committing a crime against nature?**'

'BOTH!'

"Daddy! Explain!"

"I...I….I…." he looked away with shame and sighed. "I'm a sick bastard is what I am."

"Eh?" They all said at once in confusion.

"The truth is, and I'm not making this up, but...I've been trying my hardest to keep myself back from doing that. Ever since you girls hit your puberty, the natural charm your species gives off has been hitting me, and it's been hitting me hard. I swear I never wanted to do that, or anything close to that. I've been doing all I can to hold back because it's wrong, sick, and I knew this would happen. But…..I just lost it. When I saw Maria naked in her bed, all sense of my morals just snapped and I let my lust out."

They looked at him with mixed emotions while the man looked at the ground.

"And if you hate me now...I will understand if you decide to leave the farm…"

"Kinda hard with the runes." remarked Sam bluntly.

"Yeah." Anastasia shrugged. "Plus we aren't leaving, at all."

"Still, on the off chance you DID leave, I wouldn't blame you. I went ahead and took advantage of you girls in your sleep, let my lust out, and honestly, you girls have every right to outright maim me for that. I wouldn't blame you, I'd do the same thing."

"...give us a moment to talk this over." said Maria while the others walked out of the room, leaving the man along with himself.

'**Maybe they are getting into their birthday su-**'

'QUIET!'

'**What? Just suggesting what they want. After all, they are MY little girls.**'

'No, they're mine and this is YOUR fault!'

'**Yet YOU listened to me. So who's the fool, me or you?**'

'YOU! If I hadn't listened to you, we wouldn't be here!'

'**And if you didn't listen to me when you were a young knight, your girls wouldn't exist. Just think for a moment, I helped you get a family and what's my reward? You pushed me into the back of your mind. Yet here I am, trying to help you with your 'problem' yet when I get you prepped, I'm suddenly the bad guy. To think you were a knight that HUNTED monsunos.**'

'That was a lifetime ago-'

'**Yet here we are, trapped and you're trying to justify yourself for your lust. But know this, you wanted to fuck them, I just helped you, BUT you were the one with the unholy lust.**'

'If their mothers hadn't left us alone, this wouldn't have happened and you know it! What else was going to happen, leaving one man along with ten monsunos, all of them who have never had sex before, and are close to me?!'

'**Mmmmm, true. But then again, you did have the fetish for monsunos, and your daughters are monsunos. Anyway, you should be thanking me as soon, you will become an incubus like originally intended.**'

'I won't fall to that state!'

'**We will see.**'

That's when his daughters entered.

Maria coughed. "Daddy, we have been talking and we have decided…."

He gulped.

"That….we understand."

"...what?" He said stupidly.

"WE UNDERSTAND!" yelled Ty Lee. "WE TALKED ABOUT IT!"

"Stop yelling!" Rukia yelled.

"WHAT?! I CAN'T HEAR YOU! MY EARS ARE CLOGGED WITH WAX!" She yelled as Anna gagged.

"What we mean is we get why you did it." spoke Hephia. "We talked it over, and we can see where you're coming from."

"And we sympathize with you." said Cassy. "A little bit. Sorry."

"It makes sense for your lust to bubble up, especially with our mothers gone." spoke Maria. "Being condemned here with nine small commoners and one princess would drive any man wild."

"And your rod needs to be sacrificed." Anastasia added. "What? I'm religious now, thanks daddy."

"Daddy's pee pee is rock hard and wants to give us babies." idly remarked Ty Lee making him blush.

"W-Wait, hold up!" he spoke up quickly. "So...you're NOT going to maim me? Or castrate me? Or completely forget me in your lives?"

"No." They all deadpanned at him.

"But….I made Maria's own hair suck me off."

"Yes, which just shows that the rest of my body can do so much more." she boasted with a smirk.

He sighed.

"Plus." said Miyu. "We agreed to help you calm down, but….we aren't untying you. You did break the law."

"I….I….what?" he looked at them in shock as Anna climbed on his waist with a smile.

"Don't worry daddy, we'll help you feel so much better so you don't have to worry about holding back anymore."

"Wait? You're going to do what with me now?"

"Fuck you, duh." said Rukia with a low growl. "And I'm on top this time without you spanking me."

"Me too….zzzzz." Mu-li snored while Ty Lee jumped up and down.

"And we can have turns! Oh! I'll have fun with daddy while in the attic, with spiders and silk!"

"And I'm first." said all ten girls at once before glaring. "No me! Me! No me! I'm first!"

'Uh oh.'

(Many months later)

The sun rose in the horizon while the farm looked peaceful, the birds chirping, the cows mooing, and the runes ceasing their eternal glowing….wait what?!

Yup, the runes were slowly starting to stop glowing.

Why you ask? Well if you look to the right, you can see a large carriage with very tired looking centaurs driving it towards the farm.

Clop clop clop clop clop clop clop clop.

"Must...rest….sister...oh my back…"

"Why did they have to be so heavy?!"

"Hey! We heard that!"

"I know!"

The carriage moved closer to the house before stopping a few feet away.

Flop!

And cue the centaurs falling to the ground while feeling completely tired and in pain.

"Ah…"

"Ah...not worth….the gold…."

"Eh forget it, we're here."

Both groaned as the passengers got out of the carriage and nearly broke the doors due to them going out at the same time.

"I thought we were never gonna get here."

"Yeah."

"I hope my daughter isn't getting stiff, we all know my little hopper will get stiff if she's not active."

"Relax, Marcus is a hard worker."

"He better not have fucked up!"

"Agreed, if he fucked up I'm going to strangle him with my hair."

The centaurs groaned while seeing ten figures talking to each other while noticing what species they were.

A Echidna, an Alice, a Banshee, a Jiangshi, a Chimera, a Demon, a Ryu, a Cyclops, a Troll and an Ocelomeh.

However they were older than most, and perhaps over a hundred years old or so, and they seemed to be refreshed from a few years of travel….especially when THEY had to haul them across the continent for YEARS!

"I wonder how tall Ty Lee's gotten."

"Same with Anastasia, I hope she's not lazy or fat. A disgrace on the great jaguar goddess."

The centaurs groaned while a large bag of gold coins landed next to their faces.

"Here." said the Demon with a grin. "Your reward, ten hundred pounds of pure demon gold."

"But." said the Chimera while pointing to the massive trunk in the back. "You can have a raise if you help lift our souvenirs."

"Ugh."

"Ugh…"

That was when they heard loud moans from inside the house.

"...eh?" said the Ryu in confusion. "What's that?"

"It smells like sperm." said the Alice. "And it's fresh."

The older MILFs moved closer to the door and placed their ears to the wood.

"Daddy! Daddy! Harder!" moaned Anna.

The sound of thrusting was heard as the women looked confused and opened the door.

Only to be shocked at the sight in front of them.

"More! More!"

The sight of their daughters, naked and on the ground, getting fucked by 'Marcus', who was now a very tall and muscular demon with a massive set of cock and balls, as Anna was getting fucked in the anus by the rod.

"More! More!"

They looked flabbergasted while never expecting their husband to turn into an Incubus during their absence.

"You want this! You want my fat cock? Then take it!"

"Daddy!"

The ladies looked at each other, as Anna passed out from lust and the climax, and smirked. "What a stud."

He turned to the door and saw the ladies before flinching in surprise. 'Wait...more pussy? No, my brides!'

"Hey." They waved while licking their lips. "Been awhile Marcus~"

"G-Girls? What are….uh….this isn't what it looks like!"

"Oh?" the Jiangshi grinned. "So you aren't fucking our daughters like a beast? Because if it isn't, we are horny, tired, and NEED your horse cock in our pussy~"

He blinked while smelling the pheromones leaking off their bodies, along with seeing their wet pussies. "Uh...well um….uh….maybe?"

They walked over to him and pushed him onto the couch. "Time for the wives to play~"

"Wait, just where have you all been?"

"Less talking." said the Echidna while the camera zoomed away from them and showed the barn as the raven landed on the nearby tree stump. "More fucking!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Caw caw." The bird cawed while flying away, satisfied that the man that called it 'rude' and 'idiot' was getting his just deserts.


	12. Chapter 12

List of oneshots part 4

chapter 12

Gabriel might have found a way to bring his wife back.

Series: Ladybug and Cat Noir

xxxxxxxxxxxx

-Paris, Agreste Mansion-

Gabriel yawned as he finally was done for the day, no crazy miraculous holders or incompetent workers annoying him, just him and the bed. He just wanted to get some rest, sleep, and feel ready for tomorrow. As he got into bed, he looked out the window and thought about his son.

He had pondered on how he had been raising him, and part of him thought it was wrong, but the most part kept letting him know he was doing the proper way. He was ensuring his son had a future with a growing legacy, and making sure he was safe and sound. Especially when his beloved wife was...well in a coma.

He closed his eyes and went to sleep while not noticing that a red hue was near his bed.

(Next morning)

He yawned while slowly waking up and saw it was still four in the morning. "Hmm, usually I'd still be asleep this early." He slowly got up and noticed...Tomoe in a red geisha outfit that exposed her ass and chest, right next to him.

"Morning Gabriel-kun~" she smiled. "How was the rest?"

"Tomoe-san?!" He jumped with wide eyes seeing this and stuttered. "T-Tomoe-san? What are you doing in my bedroom? In that...outfit?"

"Oh you baka." She got up. "You forgot our night of passion."

"What night?"

"Tonight." She smiled while Gabriel looked shocked, only to see that she had red eyes and no sunglasses on.

'Wait. She's blind and yet…'

"Want to go another round?"

He frowned and crossed his arms. "Who are you really?"

She chuckled before getting up and slowly turned into a red cloaked figure. "Oh me? Mmm, I've been called a fool, a pervert, a reaper, a Time Walker, an annoying hero, a villain, among other things." He then bowed. "As for me, I'm Omni, a simple wanderer."

"How did you get in here?"

He chuckled while casually saying. "I walked here."

Gabriel frowned while getting ready to grab his cane, only to find it in the figure's hands.

"Uh uh uh." He tisked. "No changing. Oh and where is that bug? I have some venus flytraps for him to examine."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

He sighed before pointing to Nooroo, who just flew by. "Him, the entity of transmission, ring any bells?"

"Nooroo, dark wings rise!"

It was about to initiate the transformation before the figure grabbed Nooroo and started to squeeze it.

"For a concept, you are very pathetic." Omni said calmly. "And I told you not to change Gabriel."

"Help me master!" cried the kwami in fear with Gabriel surprised, but now worried.

"Anyway." Omni chuckled. "Want to talk like civilized men or should I."

SQUEEZE!

"AAAAAAHH!" Nooroo cried out while it's scream was enough to wake the dead and a certain secretary.

"Destroy him and your peacock miraculous? Mmm? Well? What will it be?"

Gabriel scowled at the figure while cornered and wouldn't be able to free Nooroo and simply let out an annoyed sigh. "What do you want to talk about?"

He smiled while loosening his grip. "Oh nothing much." He then heard footsteps and chuckled while turning into Adrien, but with crimson eyes. "Just a way to save your wife."

Gabriel's eyes widened before hearing a loud knock.

"Mr. Agreste, is everything alright? I heard a scream." Nathalie yelled while 'Adrien' walked to the door, opened it up, and groped her.

"Mmm...bountiful breasts." He sighed with satisfaction.

"Adrien?!" she yelled out with surprise, shock, and anger before slapping his hands off her chest. "What in the world do you think you're doing?!"

"Groping Mayura and Catalysts' boobs." He smiled. "Aka you."

"Nathalie! Get away from him!" Gabriel called out in warning. "That thing is not my son!"

'Adrien' huffed and changed back. "I'm not a thing, I'm a person. Really, if I was a thing I wouldn't know that your secretary has the hots for you."

Nathalie blushed with her glaring at Omni. "I don't know what you're talking about, but what I do know is that you don't belong here. Leave, or I will make you leave."

He yawned and formed a tiny portal over his index finger as he spun it around like a ring. "Meh, why should I go when I have business with Gabriel here?"

"Nathalie, trying to make this person leave by force won't work. He knows too much, and could blow our covers." spoke Gabriel.

Nooroo groaned while Omni placed him in a jar and walked to a window.

"So Gabriel." He said calmly. "Do you miss Emilie?"

"If you know me, what I do, then shouldn't you already know that?" he retorted flatly with a sharp tone.

"True." He shrugged. "What if I tell you I can wake her up?"

"Are you trying to mock me?" glared the man.

"No." Omni said calmly. "Besides, why mock a man who might lose his wife one day to the reaper? Same with your son one day."

"How do you even know about that?" asked Nathalie, glaring just as hard while covering her chest. "No one's supposed to know about her condition besides Mr. Agreste and I."

Omni chuckled before turning to them. "Simple, I am a god."

Both stared at him like he was crazy, but didn't actually rebuke the claim.

"A god of what?" Gabriel asked while Nooroo noticed that Omni was transmitting...nothing at all, not even energy or auras.

"Time and space."

"And you say you can revive Ms. Agreste, the only question I have is why?" asked Nathalie with suspicion. "What could you gain from doing such a thing?"

"Simple." He pointed to Nooroo. "I am trying to obtain kwami DNA for a project of mine. And you two want the ladybug and cat miraculous along with their kwamis. So." He smiled. "I help you with your wife, and I get an unbroken kwami to extract its DNA from."

Nooroo shivered hearing that with Gabriel going into thought. "B-But we kwami are magical, we don't have DNA."

"Actually." Omni said while looking at the glass. "You guys are made from the Big Bang, aka you were the FIRST lifeforms with DNA in your entire dimension."

"Really now?" asked Gabriel with interest before walking directly in front of Omni. "So all you want is some of Nooroo's DNA, and you can bring my beloved back? No strings attached?"

"Well not him." He sighed. "He's broken right now, same with the peacock miraculous. If I used his...well it might cause an explosion that would destroy Paris."

"So you would use Ladybug and Cat Noir's kwamis, is that right?"

"Or the fox, turtle, dragon, snake, etc." He listed off. "But the cat and ladybug miraculous are more potent. Given they are the first ones in existence. And if you want, I can help you get them."

"If it means bringing my wife back, you have a deal." Gabriel said with a smirk.

Omni looked at the secretary. "First, we need a villain to distract the two of them. So miss boobs, what do you say about us working together? For the sake of the Agreste family?"

"My name is NOT 'Miss Boobs'."

"I know. But shall we help Gabriel and Adrien fix their family?"

"It is my job to assist them."

"Then let's be allies." He gave a thumbs up while a heavenly glow radiated from his body.

'This being will have to be watched carefully.' Gabriel thought before seeing Omni pulling out a picture.

"The best way to get the miraculous is by akumatizing these two. Kagami and Alya." He smirked. "Once they fuse, with a little help from me, they will be distracted long enough to catch the kwami." He then pulled out a butterfly net. "With this!"

"You're seriously going to use that to catch them?" Nathalie frowned.

"Yes." Omni said seriously. "Yes I am."

"It won't work."

"It will, they are bugs after all."

"Am not." piped up Nooroo.

"You are." Omni smirked before walking towards a window. "Anyway, want to change them in their sleep or just wait until they wake up?"

"I can't akumatize them unless they give off negative emotions." Gabriel said while Omni sighed.

"Morning it is." He said before vanishing. "See you guys in a bit~"

All of them looked at the spot with Nathalie frowning.

"I don't trust...whatever he was."

"Still, he might solve our problems." Gabriel admitted. "He may help me bring back Emilie sooner than expected, not to mention he seems like he has more power than either Ladybug or Cat Noir."

She nodded at that.

(Later on)

Omni looked on from a balcony while seeing the students walking into the school. "Ok, now to find Kagami and Alya. But...where are they?"

He looked around closely before spotting Marinette walking and talking with her best bud. "Mmm, maybe I should make some trouble with the bug first." He then jumped down and took the form of Adrien before groping Alya. "Mmm, such childbearing breasts you have there."

"AYI!" Alya screamed.

"Hello~" Adrien smiled happily. "Want to bear my children?"

SLAP!

He reeled back with both girls blushing, Alya angry and Marinette looking shocked.

"A...A...Adrien?! W-Why would you go up and ASK that?!" cried the girl, feeling crushed and floored he would even ask that in front of both her and Alya.

"Ow." He groaned with a huff. "How rude, I was just trying to make sure they were real."

"T-They are!"

"Kagami thought otherwise."

"That doesn't give you the right to go up and grab a girl like that!"

Adrien shrugged while walking away. "Well later...OH!" He turned around quickly. "By the way, Kagami wanted me to tell you something."

Both blinked while Alya frowned.

"What?"

He pointed at her. "You are a teme bitch."

"A what?!"

"A teme bitch." Adrien said while Alya growled in rage. "Later~"

"Hey!" she spoke before he took off running. "Get back here!"

Marinette looked completely lost while trying to wrap her head around this whole mess.

(Elsewhere)

Adrien ran down the hall and into the gym before turning into Marinette and saw Kagami drinking some water. "Hey! Kagami!"

"Marinette-san?"

"I got a message from Alya for you." She smiled while smirking in her head.

"Oh? Well what is it?"

"She said how she thinks your fencing techniques are jokes."

"What?"

"Also she called you a baishunpu."

"WHAT?!"

Marinette smiled before walking away. "Just wanted to tell you, oh also Alya thinks you're going to end up like Chloe, alone and bitchy."

Kagami seethed in anger hearing that while gripping her kendo stick.

All the while Marinette turned a corner as Alya appeared near the door.

"KAGAMI!"

'He he he.' She thought while changing into Omni and hid behind a door. 'Show time!'

"ALYA! How dare you insult my skills and call me a loose woman!"

"What?! How dare YOU call me a teme bitch!"

"I did no such thing!"

"Yes you did!"

Both growled while looking ready to attack, only for Chloe to walk into the room with a red bag on her shoulder.

"Like girls." She said with a smile. "I got a message from Adrienpoo, he wanted to tell you both that his dad wants to marry him off."

"WHAT?!" Kagami cried out.

"Yes, that and Adrien finds both of you annoying and like you should find other friends." She shrugged. "Either way, it looks like you two lost a friend. Especially you Alya, after all Marinette just replaced you as a BFF."

"With who?" Alya frowned.

"Obviously Lila."

"Bullshit! Marinette's not like that!"

Chloe pulled out her phone from her bag and clicked on a video of Marinette, with Lila, wearing two BFF shirts.

"_Hey Alya, if you're seeing this, you're not my friend anymore._" She said as Chloe changed the video to another one with Adrien, now holding the hand of a shadow clad woman.

"_Kagami, if you are seeing this._" He said before the figure revealed themselves to show Nathalie herself. "_My dad's marrying me off to Nathalie. And she told me about your feelings so...I feel sorry for you and hope you don't act like a bitch._"

Both girls were shocked and slack jawed while feeling like their hearts just shattered.

Chloe put her phone away. "Anyway, see you later. Oh and by the way, you two should go back to yelling. After all, you two are bitches." She then walked away.

Both of them glared at the girl while feeling nothing but anger and pain.

All of which caused a maelstrom to form around them while Chloe changed back to Omni and opened a tiny portal.

(On the other side)

Gabriel sighed while waiting in his office with his secretary.

"Hey Gabriel." said Omni from a tiny portal that appeared near his face. "I just got the subjects pissed, but I need your secretary to play along."

"For what?"

"Well I told them that Adrien's 'girlfriend' was now the BFF of Lila, the fox girl, and your secretary was your son's wife."

Nathalie blushed while Gabriel went wide eyed.

"What? What on earth would compel you to do THAT?"

Omni shrugged. "To get Kagami's heart broken. She does like your son. Anyway, I need her to kiss Adrien and I'll get Ayla's heart even more broken by making Alya kiss Marinette."

Gabriel frowned at the being with Nathalie blushing at the idea. "Find another way."

"Mmmm." Omni shrugged. "Ok, but I need a favor."

"What?"

"I need you to summon a butterfly."

"Why?"

"I have something that might work for our plan." He said before opening another portal and caused a white and black flying jellyfish with amber-like spots on it to appear on his side of the portal. "This is a Seer, a creature made of pure negative emotions which has the power to view objects from far away. I just need one akuma to possess this guy so it can spread its black desires into Alya and Kagami's broken hearts. He he he he."

"...fine." Gabriel grumbled while Nooroo appeared next to him. "Nooroo, dark wings rise!"

Omni watched on as Gabriel turned into Hawk Moth and pulled out a card with a five on it. "Sorry old bean, but I've seen Super Sentai transformations that were done better."

Hawk Moth ignored him while filling the butterfly with darkness in his hand and let it fly up.

Which went into the portal and fused with the Seer, turning it a dark pink with two needle-like syringes on its front feelers.

"...ok. That was a very...small change." Omni sweatdropped.

"Just do your part, the link with this...creature, is making the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. I dare not ask where you got it."

"I'll tell you anyway~" Omni said in a girly voice. "From Remnant, and these beasts kill humans and enjoy negativity~ Also if I wasn't here, it would have killed all the people in Paris~"

"Just get on with this plan of yours."

Omni nodded.

(With Kagami and Alya)

Both growled at the other while looking very depressed and pissed off at the same time.

"I'm going to show you what my skills are like!"

"Yeah? The ones in the bed no doubt." Alya grumbled.

"No!"

"Just fuck off."

"I have more honor in my pinky than you do in your whole body, miss 'reporter'."

"Yeah, honor in your fat ass."

"You are dead now!"

Both growled while not seeing the jellyfish right next to them.

It raised its tentacles up before stabbing them into the girls. Right in the necks.

"AHH!"

"GAH!"

The jellyfish pumped a dark liquid into them while slowly shriveling up into nothingness.

The girls grabbed their necks and groaned while feeling a burning sensation. All the while a black mask formed around their faces and a voice was heard in the back of their minds.

"**Hello Mikaboshi, I am Hawk Moth. I am aware both of you feel angry and betrayed by those near you, but I can assist you in accomplishing your goals. All you have to do is get me Ladybug and Cat Noir's miraculouses.**" said the voice while the girls started to gain pure red eyes.

"_**And don't fail.**_" said another voice. "_**Or you will be a teme bitch and a baishunpu forever as your so called friends destroy your lives.**_"

"**How did you get in here?!**"

"_**Simple, space god.**_"

The girls looked lost while the other voice was 'pushed' out of their minds.

"**Just get me the miraculous and you will be free to get your revenge.**"

"Yes." Both said at once while a black maelstrom formed around them and caused destruction in its wake.

(With Adrien)

Plagg stopped eating his cheese while looking completely petrified. "Uh...Adrien?"

"What is it?" Adrien asked.

"I think we got some big trouble."

"What kind? Is there an akuma attack?"

"Yes, but it's a massive blob of negative emotions. Like a big wheel of mozzarella cheese." he spoke floating up. "I've never felt something this scary before, and I've seen some pretty freaky akuma back in the day. We gotta go find Ladybug and quick."

He nodded.

(With Marinette)

She was trying to figure out why Adrien tried to grope her best friend when Tikki appeared next to her. "I don't believe it Tikki, Adrien was acting all...weird."

"Marinette." Tikki sighed. "That wasn't him."

"Eh?! But-"

"We have bigger things on our hands. Like the massive akuma maelstrom in the school."

BOOOOOM!

The place shook which made Marinette almost fall down.

All the while a figure rose up from the middle of the school and revealed itself as a giant thirty story tall woman with dark red and black armor covering her body, a wide ass and L cup breasts, six giant arms of pure metal, the lower body of a giant fox with nine giant tails with blades on the tips and was the size of subway trains, six red eyes, sharp curved teeth that went to the edges of her cheeks, and holding six massive katanas on her wrists as they began dripping a black substance onto the ground.

"**RAAAHHHHH!**" It cried out while a massive gale appeared all around it. "**I SHALL DESTROY YOU ALL!**"

The teachers and students who saw her tried to run off screaming with others bracing themselves against the wind. As for the miraculous holders, well they were in shock as they felt a dark aura surrounding the giant villainess.

"Holy….crap!" Adiren got out while almost falling on his face. "What kind of akuma is that?!"

"A big one. Duh." Plagg deadpanned. "Time for Cat Noir to get out there before it turns all of Paris into a graveyard."

"Plagg, Claws Out!"

The akuma roared while her tails began to cause the winds to change as tornadoes began to form all over the campus. "**ALL SHALL PAY!**"

"That's….big." spoke Marinette, seeing this from her own balcony with wide eyes.

"And it's going to destroy Paris, Marinette. Time to save the day."

"Tikki, Spots On!"

As the two heroes transformed, we find Omni sitting nearby while holding a net.

'Now come.' He thought while Mikaboshi began to walk towards the Eiffel Tower. 'Heroes of Paris, come here and make sure to lose, so I can make my end of the bargain a reality.'

"**COME OUT! FACE MY WRATH!**" She roared while hunting for the two 'bastards' that hurt them so much. "**I WILL PAINT THIS CITY WITH YOUR BLOOD!**"

That was when Cat Noir and Ladybug caught up with each other as they narrowly dodged one of the nine giant tails.

"Hey m'lady, lovely weather today isn't it?"

"Not the time Cat." she spoke while they looked at the akuma. "She's really upset, and I might have an idea why."

"Maybe it's a fusion? I mean no single akuma could be this big."

That was when Mikaboshi slashed her blades in the air as the very sky split open with broken water molecules.

"**I SHALL DESTROY THIS WORLD! JUST YOU WAIT YOU BASTARDS!**" She roared before feeling something hitting her leg and turned. "**Cat Noir? Why are YOU here?!**"

"Oh just stopping you, nothing big really...um what are you exactly?"

"**Mikaboshi!**" She snapped as Ladybug landed near the cat. "**And I'm going to spill YOUR blood if you don't FUCK OFF!**"

"Wow, someone sure has a potty mouth." he remarked. "Why don't you tell your friendly neighbor Cat Noir what's on your mind?"

And cue nearly getting slashed by the right blade.

He ducked while going wide eyed at the akuma's seriousness. "Ok, less talking then."

"**RRRRRRRRAAAHHHHHH!**"

"Cat Noir! I'll distract her! You try to find the akuma!"

"On it!" He said while dodging another slash as Ladybug jumped over a tail and ran in front of the akuma.

"Hey! You're blocking the view!"

"**DIE!**" She roared while slashing her left blade at the heroine.

"Eep!" she rolled off the rooftop which got hit and caused the building to collapse.

The fight continued on as we see Hawk Moth in his lair, struggling to control the akuma's raw darkness and preventing himself from fainting.

'This one's too strong! Damn you Omni for even suggesting that Grimm thing!'

"**PERISH!**" Mikaboshi roared while Ladybug nearly had her head sliced off while Cat found the akuma.

The problem was that it was in the woman's second right eye.

"Ladybug! We have a problem!"

"What?!"

"The akuma is in her eye!"

"WHAT?!"

"The second right eye!"

"OH YOU GOT TO BE-"

CRASH!

She went flying as a tail hit her directly in the stomach and sent her into a wall.

"**DIE!**"

"Hey! Don't you know it's bad luck to turn away from a black cat?" Cat Noir called out while jumping onto one of its tails and ran across it to the upper chest area.

"**GET OFF!**" She roared while trying to swat him away.

"Na na!" he stuck his tongue out and avoided the hands before he started traversing up her back.

"**YOU WILL PERISH!**" She roared while Ladybug slowly got up and saw Cat getting closer to the akuma's face.

"This is bad. Getting the akuma means blinding her in one eye, and that'll make her really run wild." She muttered while not noticing a figure right behind her.

Tap.

She turned and got punched in the face by a cloaked figure as her miraculous was taken from her and stored in a jar.

"One down." He smirked while looking at Cat. "One to go."

"Oh no!" gasped Marinette, seeing she changed back and looked at the figure. "Hey! Give those back!"

"Mmm…." he smirked before flying towards Cat. "Nope!"

"**RRRR-**"

BAM!

Mikaboshi got hit by a speeding 'bullet' as Cat's miraculous was taken by the figure, causing both the akuma and hero to lose their transformations and fell to the ground with a thud.

Omni smirked while placing the item in the jar and pulled out a cellphone. "Yo mothy. Got the items, I'll be there soon and don't worry, they won't come after me."

The heroes groaned while Kagami and Alya were passed out and on top of Adrien.

"_Then hurry!_"

Omni smirked before jumping into a portal.

(Elsewhere)

And landed next to Hawk Moth, who was bleeding from his nose.

"Looks like the Grimm was too much for you." Omni chuckled. "Anyway, here you go. Two miraculouses and two kwami, just as promised."

Gabriel huffed, but grinned while getting the jar and couldn't help but let out a victorious laugh and threw his head back. "At last! After so much work, Ladybug and Cat Noir's miraculous are mine!"

"I did the work." Omni deadpanned. "You just sat around eating cookies and crap."

"You're ruining the moment."

"Just saying."

Hawk Moth opened the jar and grabbed the ring and earrings with a smirk. "As per our agreement, you'll wake up my wife, and in return you get to make use of the kwamis DNA."

Omni nodded while pulling out a needle. "Ok, now let's see the patient. Lead the way mister Gabriel."

(In the secret vault)

Omni looked at the sleeping body of Emilie Agreste while holding the miraculous in his hands. "Ok, first I need two things. One, your blood and two, just a single akuma. I'll provide the rest."

"Of course." Gabriel opened his hand and pulled out a small knife before cutting into it and winced as his blood leaked out.

The blood oozed onto the ground before forming a single orb as an akuma floated into it while Omni pulled out a book made of what looked like skin.

"Ahem." Omni coughed as the orb went into the book and caused a thick back ooze to form all over the body. "**Kunda Estrata Montose Conda Naturon nicto!**"

Gabriel stepped back while feeling a chill run through the area.

The woman's eyes opened up while she gasped for air.

"She lives!" Omni cried out. "SHE LIVES!"

ZAP!

Only to get hit with lightning.

"Ow…."

Gabriel quickly pushed a button which made the container slide open and stared at his wife with wide eyes, unbelieving this was happening, but couldn't help but smile as the woman coughed and rubbed her throat before looking at him.

"Ah…." she gasped while her eyes looked fractured and with a tinge of red. "Ah….what…?"

"Emilie?"

"Ah...who…?"

"Emilie, it's me. Gabriel."

"...who?"

Gabriel's eyes widened while hearing glass shattering as his wife looked around confused.

"Where am I?" She muttered while Omni was counting down from twenty. "Why am I here?"

"Emilie? Don't you remember? I'm Gabriel, your husband."

She looked confused while her head started to hurt. "Ah! My...skull…"

"You need to take it easy, you've been asleep for a long time."

"Ten, nine, eight." Omni counted down as the woman started to gain a thick blood red cloak made from her skin as her eyes turned yellow. "Seven, six."

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" She cried while her body developed purple cracks.

"EMILIE!"

"Three, two." Omni said while the woman's face turned into a permanent grin. "One. Happy Birthday, Extinction-E."

She cackled while looking at the window. "**Hahaha haha! HAHAHAHA!**"

Before Gabriel could even react, the woman jumped out of the window and flew away on wings of crimson energy.

Omni looked at the kwamis before smirking. "Time to go, later Gab-"

"What have you done?!" he yelled, turning to Omni with a glare and looking livid. "What did you do to my wife?!"

"Brought her back, duh."

"You brought her back and corrupted her! She doesn't remember me, and became...that!"

"You told me to bring her back, you never said I had to bring her back as she was before." Omni cackled. "As for who she is? She's Extinction-E, a being that destroys all reality for the sake of permanent amnesia on a spiritual level, aka corruption."

"Change her back! NOW!"

"Can't, once a person is brought back through a ritual like that." He smirked. "They can't change back, unless…."

"What?!"

"A hero stops them, but you made me defeat the only heroes here. Ah ha!" He laughed. "And you're not even a hero, but a selfish asshole who can't even get out of the past. You, my friend, brought the world to an end by YOUR hands!"

"Only because you tricked me you bastard!"

"Who said I tricked you? This would happen even without me, power corrupts you know." He walked away. "Even miraculous can be corrupted, and you did that so many times in the various timelines, even did it to your own son. So tell me, who's the true evil here? Me or you?"

Gabriel scowled at Omni and clenched his hands. "So you're telling me the only way to fix Emilie is with Ladybug and Cat Noir's help?"

"Not exactly." He deadpanned. "A hero needs to stop her, and what did your miraculous do in the past?"

He blinked before coming to a realization. "Make heroes."

"Bingo, you're the hero here. But you're too power hungry to even help others, so what makes you special in this case? Mmm?" Omni chuckled. "Well? What?"

"I….I…." he looked down with a frown. "I only did it because I didn't think I could get the miraculous by simply asking. I knew if I made villains it would draw out Ladybug and Cat Noir and I could get them both. I didn't know if new users of the miraculous had been chosen. It's the only thing I knew what to do."

Omni smirked. "Well what do you want to do now? Save your wife or let the world burn?"

"Save her of course."

"Then go." Omni pointed to the window. "Save her, before this world becomes like Cat Blanche's world."

Gabriel saw the deity vanish in a blink of an eye.

"**Death incarnate.**" a dark chuckle was heard all around him as it soon became quiet.

He sighed and looked at his own miraculous. "To think I'd have to create a hero instead of fighting one. But if it's for Emilie's sake, I'll do anything."

Nooroo appeared next to him. "But who should become a hero? We have already akumatized everyone in Paris."

Gabriel blinked before Omni appeared next to him with a younger Emilie near him.

"Forgot about this, but I got you another Emilie if this one exploded or anything. She's young, fit and unmarried." Omni said. "So I'll be going now. Have fun with this 'hero'."

"What? Who? Where?!" She cried out while looking very scared. "Where am I?! And who are you?!"

Gabriel blinked while getting an idea of who should help fight his wife.

"Just who are you?!" Emilie frowned while feeling scared and alone.

'Should I even explain to her?'

"How did I end up here?!"

"Ahem. Emilie-"

"How do you know my name?"

"...that's complicated. Look I need your help saving Paris from well, an evil version of you that happens to be my wife."

"...you're insane!"

"I wish it wasn't true, but it is."

She frowned.

"I just need your help."

She crossed her arms. "How do I know you're even trustworthy? My sister always tells me not to talk to strangers."

'Ugh, I really hate when she mentions that girl.'

"Plus, I don't know you. So why should I help you in any way shape or form?"

"Quite honestly? You have no reason TO trust me, nor would I if I was told all this and brought to some unknown place against my own free will." He said. "But right now there's a villain in the city that will destroy everything and everyone and the only way to stop her apparently is if I turn you into a hero."

"...eh?" She blinked. "You'll do what now?"

"It's better if I show you." He said while looking at his cane. "Ok what was that other chant again? It was so long….oh right. Nooroo, Wings Rise!"

The kwami blinked before transforming the villain into a light purple and white version of himself.

"Ah!" jumped Emilie with wide eyes. "You...what….ok, now I'm really freaking out."

He coughed. "It's been a long while since I turned into this. Emilie, meet Hawk...ugh." He looked away in embarrassment. "Hawk Butterfly." 'That name is so feminine!'

"Ok, WHATEVER is going on, explain to me before I call the cops!"

"I already explained it."

"Not clearly enough since you just turned into a gimp!"

He sighed in embarrassment. "Look, I can turn you into a hero and I would like it if you didn't complain about my wardrobe."

Emilie sighed. "Fine, but you still need to explain why you chose me."

"Because you're the only one I trust that can do it."

She blinked in surprise.

"Just stay still and I'll take care of the rest." He said while forming an akuma in his hand.

It floated around before hovering around the girl's head.

"Gah! Get off me!"

"Relax, it won't hurt you." He said as Emilie got covered in a bright light. "Now come forth…"

(With Marinette)

She groaned while feeling annoyed that she lost her miraculous.

Although at this moment a woman calling herself Extinction-E is attacking the city with plasma blasts and energy blades.

"**Hahaha! Perish fools!**" She cackled while blowing up a bus with an energy blast.

"Oh man, what am I gonna do? Without Tikki I can't transform and stop her!" She gulped while seeing people running for cover. "And where is Cat?"

As this was happening, we find Adrien kicking a cab in frustration as he also tried not to get attacked by the mobs of screaming individuals.

"AHHHHHH!"

"RUN AWAY!"

"MY CABBAGES!"

"This sucks! Damn it! I can't believe I let him take my ring!"

That was when Extinction-E landed next to him and pointed a blade of crimson at him.

"**Die mortal!**" She cackled while moving the blade into a slashing pattern.

He closed his eyes...and opened them a second later as something blocked the blade.

A shield made of blue peacock feathers.

And lo, in front of the boy was a woman with blue peacock feathers on her back, a dark blue suit with gold lines going down the sides, a helmet with a pink visor, and had a set of blue fans floating around her like a set of butterflies as her right hand had the shield, keeping the blade of crimson from hitting its target.

"**Who are you?!**"

"You can call me Azure Feather." She said calmly while pushing the blade back. "And I will defeat you."

"**Ha. You amuse me.**" Extinction-E formed another blade. "**I will kill you quickly. HA!**"

CLANG!

Only for her blade to get blocked again.

Both women blocked or collided with the other's weapons while Adrien was shocked at the sight of these beings.

'Ok, what's going on and-AH!' He thought while nearly getting slashed at. 'I need to get out of here!'

'_**Look out! To your left! Duck! Emilie look out for that-**_'

"Stop distracting me damn it!" she yelled while trying to punch at Extinction-E who evaded it.

'_**Sorry! I'm just worried. To your right!**_'

She ducked while the villainess bashed her knee into Azure Feather's face and kicked her into a tree.

'_**Emilie!**_'

"**Perish!**" She laughed while sending a blast of plasma at the hero.

"No!" Adrien ran over without realizing it and grabbed a chair from a nearby cafe and threw it, making it take the heat of the blas

She turned to Adrien and blasted him in the chest with a bolt of plasma. "**Die!**"

He gasped before looking at his gaping hole of a stomach and fell down with blood coming out of his mouth.

"Adrien!" cried out Hawk Moth when Azure Feather turned her head. "NO!"

"**Ha ha ha!**" Extinction-E cackled before charging at the hero. "**You're next bitch!**"

'_**My son...my SON! MY SON!**_'

Azure Feather went wide eyed and glared at the villain before running over to Adrien. "Hey, hey, speak to me."

"Ah...ah...ah…" he looked up before the light in his eyes dimmed. "Moth...er…"

'_**No...no….NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**_'

(Elsewhere in the omniverse)

"NOOOOOO!" Gabriel cried out while waking up in his bed, sweating and pale as a sheet. "Adrien!"

As he looked around, he saw that there was no Extinction-E, no Azure Feather, no dead sons and no deities, just himself and the full moon outside.

"Ah...ah...ah…." He panted while taking some deep breaths. He rubbed his head and heard a knock at his door.

"Mr. Agreste. Are you ok?" Nathalie called out with concern. "I heard you screaming."

"I'm….yes, I'm alright Nathalie. Just a dream is all." He said while getting himself composed. "Just go."

"Yes sir."

He sighed while looking at the clock. 'Three in the morning. Ugh, I don't have time for this, I have an entire day of planning ahead.'

(A few hours later)

He grumbled while his head was throbbing in pain. 'I better take some aspirin.'

As he walked out of the room, he recalled how in his dream, the heroes of Paris were his son and a fellow student of his.

'My mind was extra creative. As if my own son and that girl could be Ladybug and Cat Noir.' He thought with a sigh. 'Like that would ever be the case. Still, I should make sure he's not trying anything like that...or hiding any cuts and burns on me. By god, that scene was so realistic.' He made his way to his son's room and gave a knock on the door.

"Yes?"

"Adrien, it's me."

"Oh! Come in father."

The door opened while Gabriel saw his son reading a book.

That book being 'Paradise Lost'.

"You need something father?"

"Adrien, come here."

He got off the bed and walked towards him. "Yes father?"

Gabriel stared at Adrien before closing his eyes and surprised his son by pulling him into a hug.

"F-Father?" 'Ok, what's going on?!'

"I just wanted to let you know how glad I am that you're safe."

"Oh...thanks." He said while hugging back.

As this was occurring, we zoomed towards the nearby mirror, which seemed to show a smiling face.

"**He he.**" Omni chuckled while the screen went black. "**What a fool, of the Twilight Zone.**"


	13. Chapter 13

List of oneshots part 4

chapter 13

A man ends up into several well known horror movies, but said movies have a slight change to them.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

"I wonder if this is the place?" Wondered a man as he looked up at an old theater. It looked like it was coming apart with paint peeling off, the sign being crooked, and numerous weeds growing up through the sidewalk. "Geez, no wonder Artie said he needed to upgrade." he walked towards the front door and carefully pushed it, only for it to fall back and kick up some dust. "This whole place looks like it could come down just by sneezing."

"Well, you're not wrong." Chuckled an old man as he stepped out of the theater. "I can't tell you how many times I nearly hit my head over some of the loose floorboards."

"I can imagine. So, what can I do you for Artie, why did you call me down here?"

"Simple, because I need your help with some slight tuning up."

"Um, sure, you mean like fixing this place up? Wouldn't it be easier to hire a contractor?" Asked the man looking around. "Or a demolition expert?"

"Oh, I know, but I want to see if I could try to fix this place up just the two of us, plus I was hoping you could help me by testing the new projector I got."

"Wait, you went and got a new projector, but didn't hire someone to clean up the place a little?"

"Well, it's less like I bought it and more like the insurance I had on the old ones paid for it when they caught fire."

The man shook his head and followed the old man inside while noting the mess all around from old wrappers, tickets, popcorn containers, the works. "Geez Artie, don't you have any staff that can keep this place clean?"

"Nope, haven't had one in the last seven years or so."

"Uh… you might want to fix that later."

"Can't do that. Don't got anymore money left."

"Wait, then how are you going to fix up your theater?"

The old man let out a chuckle which slowly escalated into a high pitched laughter as he seemed to jump up and down, making the other man stop and feel creeped out.

"Uh, Artie?"

"Oh it's gonna be big! My brand new projector is the thing that's gonna bring this old place back to what it use to be. Back to the days when you actually saw people come out and watch movies, instead of stay inside their homes all day."

"Uh-huh… that sounds great Artie…" Said the man carefully. 'Poor guy's gone senile, I might as well stick around and entertain him and watch a movie or two.'

"Once you check out how clear and close the pictures are, it'll feel like you're right inside there!" He said as he led the man to one of the theaters. "It can even play multiple films in a role without having to change out the tapes!"

"I'm sure it'll work great." Spoke the man with a forced smile. 'Why would that be an important feature, no one wants to sit through multiple movies, that would take too long!'

"Here we are." Artie smiled as they stopped in front of a row of chairs in front of a screen, all of which looked just as worn down as everything else.

"So… you just want me to watch some movies?"

"Yep! Do you want some popcorn? I think I have some kernels that haven't expired yet."

"Uh, I think I'll be ok without a snack." He said as he sat down in a chair that looked less disgusting than the others. "So, will you watch with me o-"

"Oh no, I'm too busy, I have to leave the state for a few days, a few men who I borrowed money from to keep this place open are after me."

"Wait...say what?"

"Yep, so have fun!"

"Wait, you can't just leave me alone here! What about fixing the place up?!"

"Don't worry, I have a plan to get the money, just watch the movies!"

"Bu-"

"See you in 72 hours!"

"Uh….and he's gone." Muttered the man seeing Artie bolt away making him sigh and facepalm. 'I can't believe this. Well, nothing really worth worrying about. I'll just stick around, watch a movie or two depending what's on, and just slip out. No way am I getting my legs broken if some guys show up.' He thought as the projector began to start up. 'Huh, it must have been programmed to start automatically.'

He got comfy in the chair and saw the lion roaring through the title card pop up, but it was in black and white. 'Oh come on, is this an old movie?' He let out a groan as he got comfortable. 'I hope it's not too cheesy or I'm gonna fall asleep.'

Unknown to him though a pink energy began to surround the projector. Said energy looked misty and let out a low howling sound as it went into the machine, making a spark go off, but it didn't stop the machine.

'I wonder what kind of movie this is, is it a comedy, drama, action, or maybe horror?' Wondered the man before he saw the scene show off a black and white scene, and a foreboding castle with lightning strikes flashing by. 'Ah, ok, it looks like an old monster movie.'

As he looked, the scene went on to show a mad scientist rubbing his hands together while a hunchbacked man was nearby, a covered slab table in between them and hooked up with cables. "Wait, is this Frankenstein? Wow, I haven't seen that since I was a kid."

"Do it Igor, bring her to life!" Called the actor on screen.

"Yes master." Drawled Igor with a lisp before going over to a lever and pulled it, causing electricity to flow through the cables as the scientist cackled with glee.

'She? Oh, this must be the bride of frankenstein.' He thought before the screen began to turn pink. He blinked and rubbed his eyes and saw the screen didn't seem to go back to normal. "What the...ok, either my eyes are going bad, or the projector is." He said as he shook his head. 'Whatever, let's just enjoy the movie.'

"She's alive, she's alive, SHE'S ALIVE!"

'Definitely the bride of Frankens-what the hell?!' The man thought, seeing the screen glowing more pink and swore he felt a chill go up his spine, along with seeing a fog going across the floor. "I-Is this the new features that Artie was talking about?"

On the screen the figure under the cloak sat up before it fell down, revealing the Bride of Frankenstein as you would expect, but the man himself felt like his vision of the screen was growing closer to it, even though he wasn't moving. 'What is going on?!' He tried to get up only finding himself unable to move.

"Tell me my dear, do you know where you are?"

"Ugh...I...no know…."

The man grunted as he tried to move from his chair, but it felt like he was wedged there and went wide eyed, swearing the screen was getting closer and closer. "No, no, noooooo!" He cried as he closed his eyes in fear. He felt like he went flying through the air, and then the sensation of going through something slick, then yelped when he felt himself land facedown on a hard floor.

"Ow….." he groaned as he began to pick himself up. "Ugh, what happened?"

"Hey, what are you doing in my lab?"

"Huh? Lab? What are you talking….about?" He asked as he looked up only to pale. He saw the scientist, Igor, and the bride herself looking at him. He looked around in horror, seeing that everything was in balck in white, just like the movie he had been watching. "Wha-What is going on?!"

"Igor, restrain this trespasser!"

"Yes master." Spoke the man moving over before grabbing the normal man and managing to easily keep his arms restrained, even though he was shorter than the trespasser.

"Hey, let go of me!"

"Now then, explain yourself trespasser, have you come to steal my creation?!"

"No! I don't even know how I got here!" He spoke while looking around. "Oh god, am I in some weird delusional dream from a gas leak? "

"No, you are in castle Frankenstein!" Called the mad scientist as the man groaned. "And who are you?"

"The names Todd, but it's not like it matters. I'll wake up as soon as I hit my head or just hurt myself. Well, nice seeing you crazy." He stuck his tongue out and bit down, hard, only to cry out in pain and jumped up and down from it, which also caused the Bride to let out her own scream of both fear and confusion.

"AAAAHHHHHH!"

"AAAAHHHHHH!"

"Stop screaming!" Frowned the scientist before slapping Todd, making him reel back and go wide eyed at the extra pain and saw he was still there. "You're scaring my creation you fool."

"T-This is real?!" He muttered while the bride kept on screaming with the scientist trying to calm her down. "Oh god….this can't be real."

"You idiot, you freaked her out, calm her down, now!"

"Me? But you made her!"

"Yes, and you upset her, now calm her down!" The scientist cried before the monster let out one last scream and tore one of her arms free.

"Woah!" Todd went wide eyed and felt himself get sick, but seeing the scientist look furious made him gulp and slowly move over to the woman. "Uh, hey...you. Uh…"

"AAAAHHHH!" She cried as she waved her arms around.

"Now calm down, I….I'm sorry for yelling like that." He spoke with his hands up in front of him. "I'm not gonna hurt you, honest."

"Good, now give her a hug, she might not understand works yet!"

"What? But she's...she's….not all that dressed."

"Do it or I'll harvest you for spare organs!"

'Shit!' he paled and gulped before moving closer to the bride and ducked from the waving arm before quickly hugging her. "Um, there there? It's alright?" He said nervously as she began to calm down. 'Please don't let her freak out even more, I'm already trying to keep from having my own panic attack!'

"AAHhhhhh...ahhhh….ah?" She began to calm down and looked at Todd with confusion while she stopped waving her arm around.

'Oh thank god, it worked!' he thought as he let out a sigh of relief. "There, ya happy now?"

"Yes, now explain yourself intruder!"

"Well….ya see it's actually a funny story." He said nervously. Just then he began to feel a strange tug on his gut. He looked down while letting go of the bride and stepped back. "Ok, that can't be good."

"What do you mean?" He asked before the man who was dragged into the movie began to float into the air. "W...What in the world is going on?! Is...Is this some kind of black magic?!"

"I don't know!" He cried before he suddenly disappeared.

Frankenstein, Igor, and the Bride, all stared at the spot, confused, shocked, horrified, and completely silent.

"What… what was that master?!"

"I...I don't know!"

"Ah….AHHHHHH!" The monster cried out, distressed about her new friend suddenly disappearing.

(Meanwhile)

"AHHHHH!" screamed Todd, finding everything around him going by in a crazy blur of numerous colors with a strong wind hitting him. "WHAT'S HAPPENING, WHAT'S GOING ON?!"

The next thing he knew, he went falling on the ground, dirt to be exact, in the middle of a dark forest, making him grunt from the sudden stop and groaned from the landing. "Ugh…. what is happening, did Artie drug me or something?"

He pushed himself up and rubbed his face before looking around the forest, noting it was night time. 'How the hell did I get here? Well, at least things are in color again.' He dusted himself off and started walking. "Wonder if I wound up outside somehow. Weird, I thought the woods around the place were dead."

"AROOOOOOOO!"

'Oh great, there's wolves in the forest, just my luck.' He thought with a shiver and ran over near a tree for cover. 'Ok Todd, keep it together. You're in a random forest, at night, with no one else around. Not to mention I don't even know if I'm back in town or not.' He looked around before steadying his resolve. "HELLO? Is anyone out there?" He called out loudly.

He got silence which unnerved him before he heard the sound of leaves crunching making him turn his head and gulp. "H-Hello? Is there someone there?"

He got what sounded like chuckling in response followed by more crunching by the sound of footsteps that moved by quickly which made him get goosebumps. 'J-Just stay calm Todd, someone is here to help, unlike last time with the monster….wait.' Todd thought as he began to have a horrifying idea. 'This… this isn't another movie, right?'

He heard the footsteps coming closer which made him start to back up and look around on high alert.

"L-Look! I don't want any trouble! I just wanna go home!"

"That's going to be a problem~" Chuckled a strong voice as shivers went down his spine. "You showed up in my neck of the woods, without permission, and we can't have that now can we~"

"I-I didn't do it on purpose, I swear!" He cried out desperately. He heard a low chuckle behind him and whirled around while seeing a shadow through the trees. "I'll leave right now! I won't cause any trouble!"

"Well there's your problem, I WANT to cause trouble~"

Todd gulped before turning and started running away in a random direction. 'Nope nope nope nope!'

"Yes, I love a good chase~" Laughed the voice as he heard the figure chasing after him. "You might have bigger legs, but I always get what I want~"

'Nononono!' He thought in fear as he tried to run as fast as he could. 'Why did I skip gym in school?!'

The figure laughed more as Todd ran over rocks and stumps, stumbling a little and feeling close to having a heart attack.

"I don't taste good! I heard deer is better!"

"I know for a fact it isn't!"

'Oh no!' He thought, only to trip and fall down, his head hitting the side of a rock and crying out. "FUCK!"

"Ha, got you now!" Laughed the voice before he felt something heavy land on his back, making him groan in pain. "Now then, are you ready to pay the ultimate price for trespassing?!"

"Please, I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die!" Todd let out in panic.

"Die? Oh please, killing you would be too easy~" They chuckled while he felt two hands grab at his face and feel it up from their position. "I was thinking of something else."

"W-What?" he asked, getting a bad feeling. "What do you mean?"

"I was thinking I could keep you alive and have some fun~" She chuckled with a low growl. "After that? Well, who knows, I am always hungry after having fun~"

'Shit!' he thought before he tried to scramble away. 'I don't wanna die!'

"Hey, stop that!" They spoke before he felt small arms wrap around his neck and squeeze, making him cough and try to pry them off. "We can either do this my way, or the hard way, which is the way that leaves you completely breathless."

"So either die or still die?! What kind of option is that?" he choked out.

"At the very least the first option lets you get to have fun one last time, not a bad deal if I do say so myself." They chuckled before flipping him over so he could see the person who wanted to kill him. "So what's it gonna be?"

"Uh…..Lucky?" He muttered, caught off guard and saying the first thing that came to mind since he was looking up at what was a literal leprechaun, green jacket, hat, stripes socks and shoes, but instead of just red hair, they also had a noticeable chest, showing it was a girl.

"W-What?" She blushed, not expecting that kind of response. "Are ya trying to sweet talk me to get out of this?"

"No, I uh…. I just didn't know that a leprechaun could be so cute." He said as her face turned as red as her hair. 'Wow, I was expecting something way more scarier.'

"S-Shut up, you're supposed to be terrified right now!" She said as she shook her head. "I'm not like one of those loose women boys your age meet all the time, I'm not even mortal. I'm a real as deal leprechaun."

"Um, ok….congrats?" He said in confusion.

"Yeah, I'm a big deal! I even have my own pot of gold!"

"Oh…..so if I catch you I get it?"

"Ah, I've had humans try that, and you know what happened to them?" She grinned darkly.

"Uh… they got rich?"

"I killed them, I killed them all! I did it slowly so everyone would know not to take my gold!" She laughed out loud sadistically making him gulp. "After all, it's not nice to take a leprechaun's gold."

"Y-Yeah, I guess it isn't…" he said nervously. 'Suddenly I'm scared again.'

"So if you were hoping to get my gold THAT easily, I'm afraid I'll have to take care of you like all the others." She chuckled darkly. "The only question is do I kill you the normal way, or the fun magical way?"

"Or, or, or….there's another option." he spoke up quickly.

"Oh? And what would that be?"

"Uh….look! Gold watch!" he cried pointing behind her.

"Huh? WHERE?!" she cried as she turned around as the man began to suddenly float.

'Wait, what's happening? Wait, am I disappearing again like last time?' He thought before the leprechaun turned and looked up.

"Hey! You were trying to trick me! Now you're gonna get it!" She cried, only for Todd to suddenly disappear. She growled and let out an angry cry out to the sky while shaking her fists.

(Meanwhile)

"Ah!" Cried Todd as he suddenly appeared in a cabin. He looked around wildly with wide eyes and tried to calm his racing heart. "Where am I, what just happened?! First the Bride of Frankenstein, then the goddamn Leprechaun, what's next?!"

He waited till he was calm and got up before walking around the cabin while on high alert.

"Ok Todd, no way are those two coincedance. That movie….there must be something with it to put me here. Which means it's too much to hope I'm in some random cabin back in the real world. If I'm in another movie, I gotta figure out what kind and not die. Ok, think Todd, think. Which movie involves a cabin….yeah that really narrows things down." He said with a groan.

He looked around the cabin before spotting a postcard taped to the wall and froze as he saw the words 'thinking of you at camp crystal lake!' on it. "Oh...my….god." he let out in a squeak before shaking like a leaf. "Out of all the movies, why THAT one!"

BANG BANG BANG

He turned and saw the door shaking as someone banged against it before a machete went through it. He let out a scream and looked around before running to the back and tried opening a nearby window. "No no no no no! I don't wanna die like a drugged up teen!"

BANG BANG BANG

"Leave me alone, please!" He cried as the machete chopped more of the door away. He strained to get the window open before the door burst away and he heard someone step inside, making him let out a higher pitched scream.

He fearfully turned around, expecting the giant hulking beast of a man that was usually in the movie, only to freeze in both confusion and fear. There standing holding the machete was a tall girl wearing a green shirt under a brown vest, black fingerless gloves with black heavy pants and hiking boots, with the usual hockey mask, but with brown hair that was seen. "...Jason?"

The woman looked down at him while she began to walk in his direction making him pale.

"W-Wait Jason! I'm not a teen who's high or drunk!" He cried moving near the side of the cabin and around one of the tables. "I didn't come here to cause trouble or have sex! I know why you kill, and you have every right to be mad, but I'm here purely by accident!" He protested as she kept advancing towards him. "L-Let's be reasonable here!"

She ignored him as she raised her machete up high.

"Yipe!" he cried dodging to the side as she swung and broke the table in two. "Your mom Pamela! She did what she thought was right! It's what any mom would do! And I know how you became like this! What happened was messed up and shouldn't have happened!"

The large woman paused as he looked up nervously.

"Y-You shouldn't have been bullied like you were, you should have been treated better!" He gulped while trying to keep from passing out from fear. "If those jerks they called counselors had just been there, you could have lived a real life and not died so young. I admit if I was in your shoes or your moms, I would have done the same. I know that's easy for me to say, but I did think it was messed up when they told your backstory. No kid deserves to deal with that stuff."

She looked at him, staring him down as he gulped nervously.

'Did I get through to her? I don't even know if I can convince her or if she's just confused!' He thought before Jason walked towards him. 'Welp, time to die I guess.' He thought as he closed his eyes.

He braced himself to feel excruciating pain, but nothing came. He opened one eye nervously only to get tackled into a hug as Jason tightly held him. He grunted due to the grip she had and thought she was going to break his spine. He paused as she began to lightly shake as he felt something wet touch his shoulder. 'Is...is she crying?'

Jason let out a low groaning sound while noticing her shaking.

"Um...there there?" He said as he lightly patted her back. "It'll be alright?"

This just made her hold on tighter as he wondered what he was going to do.

'What am I going to do?! What will she do when she's done crying?!' He wondered while he kept patting her back. 'I have no idea what to do since Jason never really cried….minus that scene in Manhattan, but that doesn't count.' He thought as his mind raced. 'And is this even him? This is a woman, and she doesn't look deformed like he usually is.'

They stayed that way for a while with Todd feeling like his shirt was soaked before Jason pulled back and sniffled a little.

"Feel better?"

She nodded as he let out a sigh of relief.

"So I take it we're on good terms?"

She nodded again, making him feel relieved.

"Great, so, I'll just be going then." He spoke slowly moving to the doorway.

She let out a low growl as she moved to block the door.

"Uh...or not." He said as she let out a nod. "So… what now?"

She stared at him briefly before looking up, looking lost like him.

"Ok...uh….we can stay here?" He said nervously. 'Great, I'm stuck in a cabin with an unstable mass murderer.' He thought before he started to feel himself float.

Jason looked at him in alarm as her new friend suddenly disappeared. She looked around in confusion before letting out an angry growl and kicked the broken table in anger.

(Meanwhile)

"AAAAAHHHHH!" Screamed Todd, this time flying through the air and wound up rolling on the dirt and crashed into a tombstone. "Ow! Fuck! Son of a bitch…." He groaned as he stood up. "Ok, so I think i get what's going on, somehow I'm traveling from movie to movie...how?!"

He rubbed his head and leaned against the tombstone. "Bride of Frankenstein was fine, but the Leprechaun and Jason? For some reason they were girls, and pretty cute ones too. Which already makes even less sense." He said as he scratched his head. "Is this all a weird dream or something?"

"Ughhhhh….."

"Huh?" he blinked hearing a sound and looked around. "Hello? Is someone…..there?" he stopped when he realized there were numerous grave markers and tombstones all around, and it was night out, with stormy clouds above. "Oh no….no no no, please don't let this be a zombie movie!"

"Ughhhhhh…"

"No no no, if there's any zombies here you go back into your graves!" He yelled while whirling around on the defensive. "Don't even think about rising up!"

"Ughhhhh…."

"Say something damn it!" He yelled while looking all around. 'I don't wanna get bitten! Or scratched! Or get blood over myself!'

"Ughhhhh…."

"Ok, this is getting old fast!" He called as he looked around, only pausing as he saw a green skinned woman halfway out of the ground, but it looked like she was stuck. He jumped back with his hands out, but saw the woman trying to pull herself up, but not making any progress. "Wait...are you...stuck?"

"Ughhhhh…." She let out with a groan, making him lose some fear while looking around.

"I don't see anyone else rising up….is it really just one?" He wondered as he looked around. "Wait… if they have to climb out of the ground then they have to get through thick coffins and six feet of dirt… are the rest of them stuck in their graves?"

"Ughhhhh…." the zombie let out while Todd just watched.

'Hmm, if I just quietly walk away, maybe she won't escape. Plus I'll probably just vanish if I wait.' He thought as he turned to leave.

"Ughhhhh….ugh!"

He began to walk away, but the more he heard the zombie groan and grunt, it made him slow down and glance in the direction. 'Should I just go… but why do I feel so bad?'

"Ugh….Ugh….Ughhhh!" She grunted as she tried to get free, only to make no progress. "Ughhhhh."

'I mean if I help her, I'm literally condemning this place to a zombie outbreak, and those things are hell!' Todd thought as he sat down on a tombstone and watched her. 'But… why do I feel like I'd be mean not to help her?'

Said zombie wasn't just green, but also had messy long grey hair with red eyes and a torn white gown over her chest and was at this point hitting the ground in frustration before she stopped altogether.

"Um…. are you dead?" Todd called out to her.

She turned towards the human and started groaning, but turned away and didn't make a move to try and get out.

"Ok, so you….well I don't know how to answer that, but… are you stuck?"

"Ughh….."

"Um… if I free you, are you going to try and eat me?" He asked, slowly moving over. "I'm not gonna lend a hand if you're gonna turn me into a zombie too."

"Ugh...uh?" She groaned as she tilted her head.

"And if I help you out, can you not go off and turn others into zombies? Otherwise I'm gonna feel like a huge asshole in my consciousness."

"U…..ugh?"

He sighed and moved over to her and moved around to the back. "Look, I'll lift and you push, but if you try to scratch or bite me, then I'll leave you there, got it?"

"Ugh." She said as he reached down and cautiously took her arms.

"Ok, when I say go, we'll start, ready?"

"Ugh." She said.

"Ok, one….two….THREE!" He spoke before he started lifting while she pushed against the ground. Soon she was free from the ground, making her groan happily. He let go and stepped back as she groaned and rubbed at her legs. "There, you're free! So… are you going to be good now?"

"Ugh….." She groaned as she looked him over and licked her lips.

"Woah there, no biting I said." He spoke backing up quickly.

"Ugh~" She said as she lumbered towards him.

"This is what I get for trying to negotiate with a zombie." He muttered as he began to float up into the air. "Ah, finally! Get me out of here!"

"Ugh?" The zombie let out as she watched Todd glow before vanishing.

(meanwhile)

"Ow… am I in the suburbs?" Groaned Todd as he landed in the middle of a street as it rained. He rubbed his ass and got up while running over near a tree for cover. "Alright, hopefully I didn't just fuck a planet up, but something tells me I did." He groaned as he looked around. "Ok, what movie am I in now?"

The neighborhood looked like a normal one, the kind you wouldn't mind living in without any issues.

"Ok… I got nothing." He muttered before hearing something.

"Pst….Pst...over here."

"Huh?" he said as he looked around in confusion. "Over where?"

"Down here~" Called the voice as he looked around before seeing a drain.

"...Uh...me no speaky english." He spoke before backing up from it. 'Nonononono! I know who that is! I'm not taking the chance! The zombie is one thing, but HIM is someone you can't negotiate with!'

"Yes you can. I heard you, now come on over here."

"Uh, I can't talk to strangers?"

"Oh I'm not a stranger, I'm just someone who wants to say hi. Is that so wrong?" Chuckled the voice. "How about this, you tell me your name and I can tell you mine, that way we won't be strangers~"

"Uh….I'm….Andrew." he lied.

"Well hi Andrew, I'm Pennywise the dancing clown~"

"And I better get on home, bye!"

"Wait! I have something for you!"

"No thank you!" he spoke before he turn and took off running. 'I don't wanna float!'

"Really, I INSIST!" They roared as they slid out from the drain. It was a red haired clown with pale white face, a red nose with matching lips with them open to show sharp teeth while clothed in an old fashion white one piece dress with large poofy sleeves, shoulders and a puffed out skirt.

Todd glanced over and paled seeing the smirking clown start chasing after him with a laugh, making him turn forward and run down the street. "HELP! KILLER CLOWN!"

"COME BACK, I JUST WANT TO MAKE YOU FLOAT~!" She laughed as he screamed in terror.

"Go find some kid in a raincoat! They taste better!" He cried out as the clown began to catch up, 'No no no no no!'

"Come now, Pennywise just wants to play with you~!"

"Well I don't want to play!" he rounded the corner and almost got hit by a car had it not stopped making the driver stick his head out.

"Hey watch it punk!"

"Help! Pennywise is trying to kill me!"

"Who?" He asked as he turned only to see nothing. "Stupid idiot!"

Todd turned and paled as the driver drove away. "Oh shit, where did he go?" he whirled around sweating up a storm and backed up. "I don't float that well! I sink like a rock when in the water!"

"Then how about I hold onto you tightly when we swim~?" Cooed a voice into his ear, making him whirl around and see the clown.

"AHH!" He screamed, falling on his ass and scrambling back. "L-Look Pennywise, I….wait." he cut himself off and looked at the clown's body, and blinked. "Are...Are you a woman by chance?"

"Yes, what about it?"

"What the hell is wrong with this place?" He grumbled to himself. "It's like someone's sick fanfic come to life."

"Well, you won't have to worry about anything for much longer!" she laughed stalking towards him as he swore his heart was gonna jump out of his chest.

"I-I don't taste that good! Really! I'm all chewy and bitter!"

"Now it's not nice to lie, especially about your name, Todd."

"W-Wait, how do you know my name?!"

"Your thoughts." she smirked while tapping at her head.

'Shit! I forgot about that!'

"Now then, let's have s- wait, what? A movie? No...no that can't be right!" she spoke, going wide eyed while reading the man's thoughts. "That's just silly nonsense. Me? Fiction?"

"I-It is." Gulped Todd while looking around. "Y-You and your whole story aren't reality. Well, at least not where I'm from."

"No...that can't be right, can it?! How can I be fake and…. Why am I a guy?!" She frowned with a glare. "My form might be something you puny mortals can't stand, but I've always been closer to what you humans see as feminine."

"Yeah, it still happens, just not in the canon material. Let's just say the fans like to experiment a lot." He said nervously.

"Wait, so I'm not even the real version of the fake one?! What the hell?!"

"Yeah… sorry?" he said sheepishly. 'Oh boy, she's mad.'

"YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I'M PISSED!" She roared out angrily. "What sort of...of...bullshit is that?!"

"Um… unfortunately pretty normal bullshit?" He said as he started to float, making him panic before he started to glow. "Oh thank god I'm safe! I'm not gonna be a meal! So long Bobo!"

"I'LL KILL YOU!" She shouted as he disappeared.

(Elsewhere)

"Ok, that was horrifying...wait, where am I now?" Muttered Todd seeing he was in some normal looking house with the lights turned off, minus the tv. 'I better get out of here before I get arrested for trespassing.'

He tried to look for a light switch, but heard the tv suddenly go to static and felt goosebumps go across his arms. 'Oh boy, that doesn't feel good.' he thought as he looked at the screen as it flickered to show a stone well. "Oh fuck me it's this movie." He said as he looked around desperately as he saw an arm reach out of the well. "Oh god, oh god!"

The arm grabbed the side and began to pull a figure up, a woman with long black hair that covered their face with Todd nearly pissing himself.

"Screw lights!" He stumbled to try and rush out of the room, but wound up tripping over an arm chair and fell on the floor, hitting his nose. "Ow!" He groaned as he rubbed it before getting an idea. "Wait, maybe I can't stop her, but I can slow her down!" he said as he raced towards the tv and pushed the screen against the floor. "Ha! That'll give me some time. Suck on that!"

He chuckled as he looked around desperately as the tv began to move back and forth. He moved around the chair and squinted his eyes to try and find the doorway or even a window. "Ok, there has to be a way out of here, right?"

The tv shook around more while he felt up around the wall.

"I know it's hard to see in the dark, but this is just ridiculous."

The Tv shook even more as a hand appeared under it, trying to flip it over.

Todd panicked and grabbed the armchair before dragging it over and propped it on top of the tv, pinning it down. "No! You stay in there!"

He heard a growl as the hand hit the floor in frustration.

"Now where is-Ah ha!" Todd called as his hand wrapped around a door knob. "Found it!" He smiled and turned it….only to feel it was locked. "OH COME ON!" He called out in frustration. He jiggled it and tugged on it with a grunt. "Come on come on, don't do this to me!"

He suddenly heard a crash behind him, making him freeze and turn to see the tv right side up with the armchair now on the ground. His eyes widened as he saw two pale arms from the screen grab the sides as the woman pulled herself out and turned towards him.

"U-Um...nice ghost?" he spoke up before seeing her climb out as he banged on the door. "Open up damn it!"

The ghost began to pull herself out and soon she was completely free from the tv. She resembled the same way as you would expect, although she did seem more curvier than usual. She looked at Todd and began to move towards him.

"AHHHH! Open up!" He cried out in fear, only for the ghost to push him aside and unlock the door herself to show it led to a closet where a scared muscular man was hiding.

"Ahhhh! I wanna live!" He cried as the woman entered the closet, slowly closing the door behind her. "HELP!"

Todd shivered and backed up as the door was closed. 'Ok, that was horrifying.' He thought as he began to float up. "Oh thank you god!" He cried as he disappeared. 'Goodbye horror movie!'

(Elsewhere)

Todd groaned as he reappeared in a large wheat field. 'Where am I now?' he rubbed his back and looked around the vast fields. "Hmm, ok, let's see….oh! I remember seeing a field like this in Jeeper Creepers 2! Oh man, I don't wanna lose my head. Then again, maybe it's like that one episode of Tales from the Crypt with a scarecrow…"

Suddenly he was surrounded by a bright stream of light that came from the sky. "What the hell?!" He shielded his eyes and felt a tingling sensation before he felt his body start to float. "Wait, am I already done here? Phew, that was….wait a second…" He said as he looked up to see a massive circular object with various lights on it. "OH COME ON! ALIENS?!"

The flying saucer sucked up Todd into itself before the light died down and it went flying into the air, while inside it, Todd found himself in total darkness.

"Oh god, it's one of those cliche aliens isn't it? Which means….please don't be the probing kind!" He cried as he covered his rear. "I just want to go home!" he cried before a door opened, a blinding white light coming from it.

"Whcwtiapznfeo?" Came a garbled sounding voice as Todd closed his eyes since it shined against him.

"W-What? I can't understand you." He said nervously.

"Gnahelqwiew."

"Please don't probe me!" He cried as a figure stepped into the doorway. The light slowly died down with Todd squinting his eyes and saw a tall figure standing there. "W-What do you want with me?"

"Zgksdjtketu."

"I….what?" He said as he struggled to move. "I don't speak your language."

"Tjoawewnmacowegn." Spoke the figure as Todd finally saw they were a tall grey skinned alien, like the little grey men, but this one was curvy with a pair of breasts and two black eyes that stared at him with curiosity.

"U-Um…. Hi?" He said nervously. "Can you uh… let me down now?" He asked as the alien just tilted her head.

"Gdjlsireorer?"

"I uh… can't really understand you?" He spoke slowly as the alien walked over and began to look him over, with him seeing her breasts up closer and blushed. 'What...what is she doing?'

The alien grabbed him by the shoulders and began to sniff him, much to his confusion and did it all around him while oblivious to the effect her breasts were causing to the human.

'Why is she sniffing me...wait, is she going to eat me?!' He paled before feeling her give his forehead a lick and pull back before nodding with a smile.

"GKsjfeoegnkeg."

"Oh god, you are going to eat me!" He cried as he began to flail around. "I don't taste good! Trust me! Chicken and pig is more filling!"

"Gowafneos." She said as she held him by his shin and began to lead him towards the door.

"No no no no no!" He cried as he was led towards the light. "NOOOOOO!"

The room the two entered was revealed to show a slab in the center with various tools hanging from the ceiling.

"Oh god, you brought me to the kitchen! You're going to chop me up and eat me!"

"MSoewneiva." She spoke up before she stopped and let go before pointing to the slab. "NGgekgjdfi."

"Aw christ, can't you just say it in english? I mean if you got space travel, don't you have a universal translator or some other convenient bullshit?" He said as the alien frowned and pointed again.

"NGgekgjdfi."

'Ok, I either A, make a break for it on a ship I never been on and possibly get trapped, or B, listen and let myself get cut open.' He thought as the alien began to get impatient and began to push him towards the slab. 'Wait, I haven't been killed the last few times, so maybe I'll just up and vanish before I get cut open!' He thought as he allowed her to push him onto the slab. 'Huh, she's stronger than she looks.'

When she got him there she made sure he was centered and made her way over to a panel and started typing random buttons.

'Ok, any second I should start floating up and then go on to the next movie...any moment now.' He thought before finding his wrists and ankles locked down, making him gulp before the alien brought a floating monitor down before it turned on and showed what looked like a woman on a bed with two men beside her, but the weird thing was they were all naked, with the women rubbing both their dicks. "Uh...are….are you showing a porno?" He asked in confusion. 'Wait, what is happening right now?'

"Xadkgeitjte." She let out with a half lidded look while walking over and brought what looked like a scalpel before bringing it down near him, making him tense up and pale, but saw it was being used to cut open his shirt.

"Uh….hey, what are you doing to me?" He asked, growing more confused and a bit nervous. He found his shirt cut apart, leaving him bare chested, before the alien started to rub across his stomach and chest while licking her lips. 'Wait, this isn't gonna go the way I'm thinking, right?'

"PRDNasfa~" She cooed as she began to use the scalpel to cut off his pants.

"Holy shit...you wanna fuck me?!"

"Nowcs." She said with a nod.

"I….don't know how to respond to that. CAN you even fuck me? How does that work?" He asked in confusion. 'And what is she going to do afterwards?'

"VSfketriejifisj fsjfewtoada nfwofefeo." She replied while gesturing to the video, herself, and made several random gestures with her hands before pointing to his pants.

'Ok, I think I get it, she want to have sex like the video….ok? I mean, what's the harm?'

"Ofefijsfienf." she smiled while working on his pants, but he noticed her seemingly salivating while he noticed what looked like an open book on the panel.

"Hey, what's that book there?" He asked as he tried to lean up to get a better look at it. He squinted as he tried to see what was on the pages.

"Ahgdkrltroy." She spoke while her finger glowed before the book floated over near him.

"Thanks." He said as he looked at the pages before paling. "U-Uh...this….this is the wrong book, right?"

"Gdglerpegk." She said as she shook her head and licked her lips. "Groamelsa~"

"Oh sweet god." He muttered in horror as the book showed what looked like a human being with an apple in it's mouth on a platter and surrounded by lettuce. "So you are planning on eating me?!"

"Nodts." She nodded before Todd started to struggle against the restraints.

"I'm all for sex, but not being eaten!" He cried out in fear. "Let me go, let me go! I don't wanna die! Let me go!"

"Ogdlrejr." She frowned while trying to get his pants off, only for the restraints to come undone as he started floating upward. "VKSNRAMDS?!" She cried out in confusion and surprise.

"Yes! So long sucker!" He called before disappearing.

"MFUCK!" She let out in anger and shock.

(Elsewhere)

"Haha, yes! I'm still alive!" Laughed Todd zooming through the air. "I won't get eaten this time!"

"I wouldn't count on that bud." Growled a voice behind him.

Todd blinked and realized he was standing in some dark woods and heard a growling tone behind him, making him gulp and not turn. "Uh...you wouldn't happen to be a random villager, would you?"

"Nope, I'm your worst nightmare, and you're in my turf."

"Uh….would you believe this is one big mistake?" He said nervously as the figure stepped closer into the moonlight to show a red haired woman in torn red flannel and jeans, she had large hairy paws with razor sharp claws for hands and feet, her teeth looked like they could tear him to bits and she had two wolf ears on her head along with a tail sticking out of her pants. 'Oh god, werewolf!' He thought as his mind raced. 'I can't outrun her, what do I do?!' He thought as she let out a snarl.

"Get ready to pay for trespassing!" She growled as he gulped nervously before getting a crazy idea.

'M-Maybe if I act submissive like a dog she won't kill me?' He thought as he dropped to the ground and showed his stomach.

The girl narrowed her eyes and lowered her claws. "What are you doing?"

"Um….submitting. You're the alpha, I'm sorry?" He said nervously, eyeing her claws. 'Crap, why did I think that would work?!'

The werewolf looked him over and dropped her arms. "Well you should be. All you humans do around my territory is act like you own the place. Well I'm the one who marked it my own, which makes it mine, got it?"

"Y-yes, I got it!" He said as he nodded his head rapidly. 'Holy crap, is this really working?'

"Hmm, you look different compared to most humans I see around here."

"Uh… thanks?" He said, unsure if that was a compliment or an insult. "So….does that mean you won't eat me?"

"Maybe, I don't know." She said with a frown as he gulped nervously. "You did apologize and submit though… maybe I'll let you live."

'Oh thank god. Who knew watching documentaries on dog habits would pay off?' He thought as he began to slowly sit up. "T-thank you alpha… I'll leave your territory immediately."

"Hey, I said I might let you live, I didn't say you could leave just yet."

"Huh?" He said in confusion. "Weren't you mad that I was in your territory? Why would you want me to stay?"

"To find out just WHAT you were doing here." She said with a low growl. "So, spit it out, were you here to collect wood, food, or were you trying to kill me?!"

"No no no! I-I'd never try to kill a werewolf!"

"Why not? Don't you humans view me as a monster, a beast who needs to be put down?"

"I don't, never!"

"Then tell me why you came here!"

"I….uh…..needed some air, after….getting away from a crazy woman." He said with a shudder. "She lured me into her home and tried to eat me!"

"Hmmm, sounds like myself." she remarked tapping her chin. "Was she a vampire?"

"Something like that, I was lucky I got away from her when I did." He admitted with a gulp. "Let's just say she had me lured in with the offer of something entirely different."

"Yep, definitely a vampire, or maybe a succubus?"

"Uh, let's go with succubus." He replied while clearing his throat. "So….you look like you might be busy with other stuff, and I'd just get in the way, so I'll just head on out of here and never come back here."

"Hey, did I fucking say you could leave yet?"

"Well, in a way. I mean you DID say I could leave in the same sentence." He said only for her to let out another growl.

"Did you just talk back to me you beta?" She growled angrily. "Don't forget who the alpha is here!"

"I-I-I didn't mean it to sound like that." he spoke with a nervous sweat. 'Dear god this werewolf has no control over her anger! Time to try being submissive again!' He moved on his back with his stomach exposed again.

"Good, now stay like that, remember who is your superior here!" She growled while baring her fangs.

"Y-Yes ma'am!" He said as he tried not to appear threatening. 'Come on, how long am I going to be stuck here?!'

'Hmm, for an annoying human, he learns quickly who's in charge. That's pretty rare.' She thought as she paced around him. 'He's not too bad looking either, he could make a good minion.'

'I pray to god she doesn't change her mind and gnaw on my bones.' He thought as he let out a small groan that sounded like a whimper to the werewolf.

"Hmm, you might be useful to me."

"Wait, what?" He said in confusion. "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean I could always use a new minion, and you might fit the bill." She said as she rubbed her chin. "Heck, I might even turn you and get started on building up a pack."

"Uh...say what now?" He said as she moved towards him and grabbed his arm.

"After you change we'll get right away to increasing our numbers, no sense in waiting."

"B-B-But I like the way I am!" He said as he struggled to get free. "I like being human!" 'If I get bit in a movie is it permanent?!'

"Forget it, you'll be much better like me. It'll only hurt a little, then it'll burn like hell, but then you'll turn out way cooler than a human." She said with a huff as she pinned him down and brought his arm to her mouth. 'And who knows, in a few years you COULD be my mate.'

'Crap!' He thought before doing a crazy, stupid, and desperate move. He brought his other hand over to her face as she opened her mouth, and gave her nose a hard flick. "No! Bad, bad girl!"

"OW!" she let go and held the spot with a wince while he scrambled back. "The fucking hurt!"

"Bad, very bad, I said I didn't want to be a werewolf!" he spoke as he saw her growl and glare at him.

"You know what? Fuck it! I'm gonna eat you and gnaw on your ribs!" She growled as he paled.

'...crap, this was a bad idea!' He thought before he started to float, right at the moment she lunged and nearly grabbed him. "Haha! Yes! See ya later sucker!"

"What the hell?!" She cried out seeing him glow and suddenly vanish in the air. "WHAT THE FUCK?!"

(Meanwhile)

"Thank you deus ex machina!" Laughed Todd as he landed in a new area. "Hahahaha! I'm invincible!" he patted his chest and took a deep breath. Damn, I like werewolves, but no way am I dealing with all that hair."

He stretched out as he looked around. "Ok, what movie am I in now?" He wondered as he saw that he was at a cabin. "Oh shit. Am I back at Crystal Lake?" He said as he looked around nervously. "Jason? Are you there?"

Silence.

"Um… hello? Anyone?" He called walking around while on guard. "Anyone here?" He called out, growing more and more nervous. "Anyone? Hello?"

That's when he heard a growl that made him instantly go quiet. 'Ok, stay calm and don't freak out.'

The growling came closer along with heavy footsteps.

'Ok, maybe now's the time to hide in the cabin.' He thought before ducking under the nearest table. 'Not like this is gonna do jack squat. Probably a sasquatch knowing my luck.' he thought as the footsteps got closer and closer. 'Maybe it'll leave me alone...oh who am I kidding, of course it'll find me.'

That's when he heard the door break and drop to pieces and held his mouth closed. 'Ok, this is it, this is where I die.' He gulped while seeing a clawed set of feet walk in while the growling got louder. He froze as the table he was under was ripped away, leaving him exposed. "Eep." He cried as he looked up nervously only to freeze in fear.

There standing in front of him was a pale yellow skinned figure with sharp claws and long arms, but with the torso of a woman with breasts exposed, and a female's face with glowing red eyes and sharp teeth.

"A-A-AAAAAHHHHHH!" he cried out in fear as he scrambled to get away from her. "Don't kill me! I wanna live!" He cried out in fear as she tilted her head as she inspected him. "H-HELP!"

The creature let out a growl and walked towards him while he hit the wall and shook in fear.

'Think! Who is she?! I'm too scared to think!' He thought as he tried to calm down and think, but it was hard with the monster getting closer and closer. "I don't taste good! I'd make a horrible minion! I'm not like whoever killed you! I...I...I'm a virgin!" He said nervously, running out of excuses as his brain began to shut down.

The creature got closer and closer before leaning down near him and narrowed her eyes. She raised a claw up and ran it against his face without cutting him, before pulling back and stared at him with him confused.

'Ok...so...is she waiting for a command from someone? Like a witch? A master? Come on brain, where have you seen this from!' He thought as he looked at her. 'Ok, pale skin, insanely tall, fangs and sharp teeth….wait, I think I know something like this, but this version looks really different. Is this...Pumpkinhead?' he looked at the face and gulped. "Uh...are you...P-P-Pumpkinhead?"

The creature nodded as Todd gulped nervously before remembering something from the movies.

'Wait… Pumpkin head is summoned to kill people involved in a murder of someone else, but… I haven't interacted with anyone but her since I got here, so she isn't going to kill me!' He thought with slight relief and cleared his throat. "Uh, if that's true, then you can't be here for me. You...You're hunting down the person who is wronged someone, right?"

The creature nodded as it looked around.

"So… you're not after me? Since I'm not marked?"

She shook her head before turning her head and growled while looking at the fridge and made her way over to it.

Todd watched and gulped before seeing her rip the door to it off and saw a guy curled up inside who screamed in terror. 'Poor guy, but if Pumpkinhead is after him I better not interfere, I don't wanna die!'

"Please, I don't wanna die!" cried the man as Pumpkinhead smiled cruelly and placed her hand atop the fridge and began to press down. He spotted Todd and felt hope. "Hey! Hey you! Help me!"

"Sorry man, I know what happens to those who get in her way. You're on your own." Todd said as he turned away as the fridge and the man inside began to get crushed. 'Ok, time to go now.'

"No! No please! I don't wanna-GAH!" he let out as he began to get crushed, even while trying to push upwards, feeling his bones and organs getting crushed and coughed up blood with Pumpinhead not hesitating.

'Ok, come on, start the floating thing, I don't wanna be here!' He thought as he covered his ears to try and drown out the sounds of a body being crushed and nearly felt his lunch coming up. 'NOW!' He thought as he heard the man finally start screaming and Pumpkinhead starting to laugh. That's when he started to float up and sighed with relief. 'Oh thank god, finally! I just hope the next movie isn't a horror movie.'

Pumpkinhead noticed the glow and turned her head, right as Todd vanished from the air. She looked at the spot curiously before shrugging and walking away from her latest victim.

(At the theater)

"AHHHHH!" Cried Todd as he was launched out of the screen and hit one of the seats. He groaned from the impact and saw stars as he tried to stand up. "Augh, that hurt...wait, am I...no way, am I...back in the theater?" He looked around at the old seats and cracked paint walls and smiled before jumping up. "Yes! I'm back, I'm safe!"

He started doing a victory dance around while even doing some cartwheels, so glad to finally be back home safe and sound. "Hahaha! Yes yes yes yes yes! Take that you goddamn nightmare movies!"

"So, you survived, what did you think?"

"AHHH!" Todd jumped back from the sudden voice and paled. "No more horror-huh?" He said as he looked around before seeing Artie smirking at him. "Artie?! What the fuck just happened to me?!"

"You sonny boy went through several well known monster movies, and literally experienced them."

"Wait...you KNEW?!"

"Yes, it's my new invention, it will revolutionize the movie watching experience!"

"Are you out of your mind?! I was scared shitless! I thought I was gonna die and ALMOST did die! I mean….did you just need me as a damn guinea pig this whole time?!"

"Well not you specifically, but I thought you would be the easiest to lie about if you did die, it's not like you have a family here that will ask questions."

"You senile bastard!" He grabbed Artie by the front and started shaking him. "Do I sound like I enjoyed that?! DO I!?"

"Did you? You're in one piece, right?"

"I ALMOST DIED! SO MANY TIMES! An alien tried to eat me!"

"But did you?"

"No! If I did, I wouldn't be here ready to STRANGLE YOU!" he growled with an eye twitch. "What I don't get is why the FUCK were they all girls? That's something I'd expect from a sick pervert on deviantart, or rule34!"

"Exactly, and we're going to be rich from it! If you promise not to be sure I'll give you a thousand dollars to be my spokesperson, we'll delight horror fans and perverts alike!"

"A thousand bucks? You expect me to NOT sue your wrinkly old ass, after making me go through ALL that, with money you could have used to repair this place from the start?"

"Well, if you refuse I'll just send you back into the movies and remove the safety feature that kept you from dying." He smiled darkly. "And this time I'll send you to one of my personal favorites, Aliens."

"...you're a cold, heartless bastard, aren't you Artie?"

"Yep~" He smiled. "And we're both gonna be rich bastards if all goes well."

'Rich? All you're giving me is a thousand dollars.'


	14. Chapter 14

List of oneshots part 4

chapter 14

Yui battles against Marisa's exes.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

-Somewhere in the omniverse, aka Yui's kitchen-

Yui yawned while reading the '_Omni News_' which showed Omni creating an omnitrix made of yanderes. "I swear that guy is trying to make a trix out of anything that moves. Next thing you know it'll be my turn."

That was when he saw a column with the title '_Yuitrix a reality?! What will the genius Omni think of next?_'.

He frowned at that. "I better talk to a lawyer on copyright."

As he turned the page, he saw Marisa walking by, tired and very much looking like a gorgon without her makeup.

"Yawn...morning dear." She yawned while sitting next to the deity. "Sleep well?"

"No, Omni called me. Something about Noe or something. Really this Sutniav thing is really making him loopy."

"Considering what he did to the Zoo, I'm not surprised."

"But what he told me, he's trying to make some task force or something. He's still pending with Jack."

Marisa nodded. "Well my night was boring. Ever since Cynthia decided to get stuck in the Zoo's slime tanks, it's been hard for me to drag the real one home without it being revealed to be a clone. An explosive one at that."

Yui chuckled at that.

That was when a barn owl flew into the kitchen and began pooping on the floor while holding a set of letters in it's left talon.

"Scrrrrrreeeeeccchhhhh!" It hissed while the two lovers looked completely annoyed at it.

"Ya got two options Hedwig. Leave and stop pooping, or I add owl to the menu."

It hissed again before Marisa took the letters from it's leg and saw it fly away.

SPLAT!

After pooping on Yui's head that is.

"GAH!"

She opened the letters and turned as pale as a sheet. 'No...not...not them!'

"Damn bird."

"Yui, I think I'm going to cancel my classes for today, and the ones after that."

"Oh, I get ya." smiled Yui with a smile. "You want some alone time? I gotcha."

"It's not that!" She snapped in anger, shocking Yui in the process.

"Wait, what?"

She looked away. "I just want to cancel my classes, nothing more." She got up and walked away. "Now if you excuse me, I need alone time. Without you."

Yui watched her leave and was confused since she rarely ever snapped at him. 'Ok...now I'm curious.'

(Marisa's room)

The woman sighed while looking at a scrapbook, one that had images of her as a young punk teenager, and several unknown figures next to her. "Sigh." 'How did they know my address? I never gave it to anyone and….why now? Why after twenty seven years?'

Knock knock.

She didn't move as she grumbled. "Come in."

Yui poked his head in. "Hey Marisa, you alright?"

"No." She frowned. "I am not."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not!" she yelled while closing the book. "Now leave me alone."

Yui walked in and smiled. "Maybe I can-"

"I am in no mood for sex! Now I kindly ask you to LEAVE!"

"I was gonna suggest a massage."

She pinched her nose while letting out a loud sigh as Yui moved closer to her and saw the book. "Just go before I trap you in one of my cursed tomes, like last time."

"Aw come on sweetie. Something's wrong and I wanna help."

"You can't. This is none of your concerns." She growled while Yui opened the book and saw her pictures. "HEY!"

"Whatcha looking at?" He asked while looking at the punk pictures.

SLAP!

Only for Marisa to slap him across the face.

"GET AWAY FROM THAT YOU BASTARD!" She snapped in pure rage before seeing Yui's face and simmered down. "I...I'm sorry. I...I…."

Yui held the spot and looked at her and then at the book before giving it back. "Damn. That's the first time you slapped me that wasn't involved fucking. I...I guess I was pushing a little too much, didn't I?"

She turned away. "..."

"I'll just-"

"Stay." She said softly. "It was my fault I acted like this and you deserve an answer."

"No no, it's ok. You're dealing with some personal stuff, and you shouldn't feel pressured into telling me. If you wanna tell me it's your choice. Sorry for prying." He said before Marisa held his cloak.

"No, I want to tell you or I'll go insane from all the bottled up….issues." She sighed. "Yui, the letters that came today….they...they came from some people from my youth."

"Childhood acquaintances?"

"No." She sighed. "My….exes."

"...wait what?!"

"Yes Yui, I had lovers in the past. I wasn't always a yandere you know." She deadpanned.

"I….I….what?!"

Marisa facepalmed. "Yes Yui, you aren't my first lover, unfortunately."

And cue Yui cracking into a billion pieces.

"I had seven lovers, all of them….unsavory."

Yui reformed and shook his head. "So wait, is that what that letters was about?"

Marisa nodded. "Yes, they want me to visit them in their dimensions by sundown...or they will destroy all I cherish. And they can and will do it Yui, that's why I'm afraid."

"Wait, if you used to date them, and they're powerful, how did you break up with them?"

"I ran away to your hotel, they didn't know where it was so you technically saved me from getting killed."

"Wait, so you were with one, went to my hotel, then when you left you hooked up, and then repeated it?"

"No." She sighed. "All of them took me from my house and started to date me for the kicks, or something like that. Those women were too weird for my tastes, and I'm the one married to a god of madness."

"Deity."

"Same thing."

"No-"

"Anyway, I have to go meet them. If not, you're going to die."

"Marisa, you know of the stuff I've done, did, and am going to do, right?"

"Yes, but they are twisted, like really twisted. And they have the resources and power to destroy gods."

"Well they never met me." he frowned. "Marisa, do you remember what we agreed to when we got married?"

"That you wouldn't knock me up until-"

"No, not that. Till death do we part, or something else. And I for one am NOT going with the something else part. Those assholes made you cry, and anyone who does that to MY family? Well then, I think it's time they met me. You go and find Cynthia and hide out for a bit, while I go ahead and meet them when they arrive."

"But Yui, you shouldn't-"

"I'm fired up."

She blinked while sighing. "I can't stop you can I?"

"Nope."

"Well….fine. But you should at least know who they are first."

"No need. I'll know who they are when they show up."

"Are you sure? A little information might help you, plus remember the last time you went in without thinking? Aka the Tsundere 5 incident?"

"It was one time!"

"You blew up the planet, twice."

"And this isn't then, it's me about to kick a bunch of ass."

Marisa sighed. "Fine, just be safe." 'And don't try to destroy any dimensions.'

"You know I will."

Marisa sighed again as Yui walked away. "And watch out for killer chickens!"

"I-wait what?!" He yelled while a chicken ran after him with an axe. "Oh shit not again!"

"CLUCK CLUCK! MY FATHER WILL BE AVENGED CLUCK HOOOOOO!" It cried out while Yui ran for it.

"AHHHHHHHH!"

(Later)

-Dimension 7777999- 89EX-

Yui ran out of a portal while sighing in relief, only to notice he was inside a large colosseum like palace full of monsters, aliens, zombies and other non human races as several humans were being fed to either the lions or the actual monsters.

"KILL THEM!"

"Go lions!"

"Brains lions!"

"Get your human on a stick! Two for ten dollars here! Get your human on a stick!"

"Wow, this place is packed. Wonder where I am." He muttered before noticing that several of the monsters had large burgers in their hands and called to a zombie. "Yo what's that?"

"Ugh….burger….brains…"

"They any good?"

"Ugh….yes…."

"Good I'm starv-"

"AHHHHHH!" screamed a guy's head from the burger before the zombie chomped on it.

"Nom nom nom."

"...then again I can wait."

As the lions ate the humans, the deity wondered why the fuck there were human burgers and how a place like this could be constructed.

But before he could even think about it, a guard walked towards him.

"Get out of the arena, warlocks are banned on orders from the great goddesses." He frowned.

"I ain't no warlock."

"You have a warlock's cloak."

"Oh, so suddenly you assume every person with a black cloak is a warlock? How do you know I'm not a witch?"

"Simple." He said with a smirk. "They aren't flat as you are, warlock."

Yui deadpanned before getting a spear to the face.

"Now git before I throw you to the venus fly traps of Vilgaxia II."

"Ok I'll leave, but not because you said so. Because it's obvious your food and snacks here suck monkey balls. I've seen better food at baseball games in downtown detroit."

"Detroit? Is that some kind of spell?"

"And like that I'm out of here." He said before seeing a flyer hit his face.

The words read as followed, '_See the bitch of a thousand dimensions! Here with horns and yandereism, Marisa! The execution tournament starts at 7 PM. Food and drinks are free on order of the Great Goddesses._'

Yui gripped the paper with his hands in anger. 'Execution huh? Not on my hands.'

"Get ou-"

"Hold that thought. I'm actually a guest here."

"What are you talking about?"

"Simple, I'm a proxy for my wife."

"...what? Speak normally warlock!"

"Ok let me put it this way. You're gonna tell me where I can find this great goddess, now."

"Why would I? You're a warlock." He frowned before getting choked by some unseen force. "Gah...gah….gah…."

"I'm not a damn warlock you fucktard. I'm the guy who wants to know WHERE your goddess is, or else I'm gonna choke a bitch, and you wouldn't want that now would you?"

"Gah….gah….I….inner….palace…."

"What?"

"Inner palace...under the….c….coliseum…." he gasped while his face turned a deadly shade of blue.

"Good boy." Yui flicked his hand and sent the man flying and hit the wall, knocking him out at the same time.

As the deity looked down he noticed that underneath the arena was a golden palace made of diamond.

The problem was that it was about ten thousand miles down and was only accessible by an elevator guarded by a giant demonic Nightgaunt and Minotaur hybrid.

Yui just chuckled at this while forming a portal next to him. "Time to crash this party."

(Elsewhere)

Within the place, we find several servant boys getting fucked or eaten by inconceivable monsters as in the center were a set of beds surrounded by thick curtains.

"AHHHHHH!"

"AHHHHHHH!"

"MY COCK!"

"AHHHHHHHHHH!"

But that was soon drowned by the sound of a drill.

WERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

A very large one that is.

This slowly made the boys and monsters stop and go quiet with confusion and looked around.

BOOOOOM!

CRASH!

The monsters ran for cover as a giant drill the size of a tank fell to the ground and squashed some humans and monsters on its thick titanium wheels.

"Lucy I'm home!" called Yui dropping down from the hole and looked around. "An orgy and I wasn't invited? How rude."

The monsters growled at him while Yui looked around.

"So where are the fuckers that hate my wife?"

"Grrrrrrr, kill him! Kill the warlock!" One monster growled.

"I ain't a damn warlock."

"Quiet." a woman's voice said from the curtains. "Let the man speak, after all, he's here for a reason."

"...yes my goddess." It growled while the monsters bowed to the curtains. "As you and the six goddesses decree."

"Oh, so that's the goddess I heard about? Great! I was just on my way when I heard about your oh so 'lovely' flier about an execution." He smirked. "Come on out."

"No." said seven voices at once. "We will not come out."

"Oh no no no, you misunderstand me." he chuckled, shaking his head. "I didn't come here to make requests, I came here to talk. Is that so wrong? Or maybe...you're shy around strangers."

"No." They all said. "We are waiting for your 'wife'."

"Why whatever do you mean? I don't know what you're talking about."

"You damn know yankee." yelled one of the voices. "The bitch Marisa! The one you turned into a yandere, instead of a warlady like us."

"Oh? If you know me, then you know my name, what I do, and other stuff, right? And if so, how would you know all that?"

"Simple." said the seventh voice. "I see the future and as for who you are. You're just a human that ate an old one's heart and is second fiddle to another. The god Omni is more famous than you are, yet he follows you. How disappointing how a god of entropy and a so-called god of madness would stay away from the greatness of evil and stay neutral."

"Easy, if you know TOO much people might talk." chuckled Yui looking around the place. "So you know me, but I don't know you. Why don't you humor me and introduce yourselves? Or are the so-called 'goddesses' ignorant of what manners are? If so, that's just sad."

"You shall have an introduction, but one at a time. You are under our house, our rules still apply here lower life form." said the voices in unison, making Yui growl.

"Funny you want one at a time considering you all remind me of a hive mind. Are you gonna talk about becoming one? If so, that asshole Ikari beat ya to it, but I'll humor you." he remarked before forming a chair and sat down.

The curtain raised up while a robed woman clad in black, had a C cup chest and wide ass, and holding a massive axe in one hand as her golden locks flowed over her amber eyes, walked out first. "I am Exian, High Executioner of the United States of Absolutism in Dimension 554- 12 SCP. I was the last girlfriend the heretic Marisa dated."

"Wow, with a career like that, who wouldn't wanna date you." remarked Yui sarcastically.

A second person walked out, that being a massive Minotaur with four massive horns, black fur covering her arms and legs, dark obsidian eyes, a J cup chest and small ass, and holding a ball and chains. "I am Athros, sister of Minos of Crete in Dimension 888- 9 C, I was her sixth date and in my dimension I continue the mission my ancestor had. The consumption of humans, all for the glory of Crete!"

"So Theseus didn't kill him?"

"No! He would never kill a child of the gods!"

"Tell that to history." muttered Yui.

A third person walked out, revealing a short woman with long flowing red hair, three green eyes, wearing a single flowing white robe, a D cup chest and small ass, and was covered in blood red tattooed. "I am Indra the Second, priestess of the Yashas and hail from Dimension 882- 13 ID. My home is overrun with demons and I was supposed to save them, but," She grinned as her curved teeth were revealed. "I helped enslave them just as my Marisa ditched me as her fifth date."

"Wow, that's real romantic. About as romantic as Twilight."

"You little-"

"Just saying."

A fourth person walked out, revealing themselves as a normal looking blonde with a brown business suit, dark orange eyes, a G cup chest and wide ass, and had a brown hat with a burger on it. "I am Criss of Dimension 777777- 77 FF, owner of Happy Human, the best burger place in the universe, although Marisa only dated me as her fourth after finding my secret ingredient."

"And that?"

"Humans."

"So the food upstairs was your doing?"

"Yep, we are over ten billion in stocks now." She smirked. "If you weren't here to be that slut's proxy I would offer you a free sample."

"And I'd happily spit it out right all over your tacky shoes."

She frowned at that.

A fifth person walked out, revealing themselves as a tall centaur with long dark green hair, a set of H cup breasts, a dark black and red horses' lower half, and was naked on the tip except for an organic looking chest plate. "I am Centorea Alteroria, knight of the French Empire of Dimension 999990- 90 MM. I used to be the fallen lady Marisa's third lover until she discovered my pact with a Cursed Sword and ran from the law. And since you're here, I shall cut you in half for my country and my blade Excalibur Alter!"

"Careful, someone might sue with a name like that." chuckled Yui.

"What does that mean knave?"

"You're a goddess, you can figure it out."

A sixth figure walked out, revealing themselves as a extremely obese slime with a Hutt's dark green tail, green skin, giant O cup breasts and a wide ass, dark red eyes and was currently eating a human. "I am Tyranna, the great Sumo Slime Queen of Dimension 9999- 00 SWMG, the ruler of Tatooine and the greatest sumo champion of my generation. The fool Marisa, nom nom, was my tenth lover and her second lover, nom this meat is exquisite. Nom nom."

"I think I saw where lovers one through nine went. Thar she blows!"

She spat at him. "Watch your tongue, I am a better lover than a skinny human."

"Ew." he wiped at his hood. "Yeah, to sperm whales. At least they're more in your weight class."

The last figure walked out, revealing themselves as a very tall woman with dark blue eyes, long flowing black hair that ended in flames, covered in blue fire, a G cup chest and massive ass, and had several bolts of lightning coming out of her mouth. "I am Az-Ula, daughter of Azula the wise, from the Dimension 666671- 89 ATLA. My world is in a trillion year peace thanks to my mother ending the avatar at Ba Sing Sae, and I was Marisa's true lover when I left my world to rule the cosmos but she had the audacity to run from me. ME, the goddess of fire and power, the greatest deity in this omniverse."

Yui blinked at this impossible being. "Who was the father?"

"Isn't it obvious? Ozai the Phoenix Emperor."

"Oh my bad, I assumed it was an itty bitty candle because that's how much heat those flames of yours are putting out, my mistake."

She frowned. "Anyway, after locating Marisa's lovers we made a pact, kill the bitch and rule the cosmos. And since that ZOO place is in shambles, the being Omni is chasing Sutinav across the omniverse and Noe is occupied. We will take over and then destroy it when we get bored."

Yui nodded and took a deep breath and let it out. "Are you done?"

They looked at him with a frown. "No, we are about to sentence you to death by nuclear bomb."

"And there ya go with the speaking at once." he sighed and stood up. "Look ladies, you know me and the fact I got with Marisa, then you also know I fucked her, married her, and we adopted a wonderful daughter, right? Now let me rephrase that for those who can't understand, but the two of us PLOWED, FUCKED, as in did more than just kissing."

"That can be changed." Az-Ula smirked. "After all, once you're gone the little slime will get sent to Tatooine and converted into a Hutt Slime while Marisa-"

"Will die." The other six smirked evilly.

Yui stared at them before he started to chuckle, which turned louder, before he was holding his sides and throwing his head back. "AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"What's so funny knave?" frowned Centorea Alteroria while pointing a blade of organic steel at him. "Speak up!"

"I-I-It's nothing ahahahahaha!" he let out while shaking his head. "J-J-Just that ahahahahaha! Oh god! My sides!"

"Speak up!" roared Athros. "What is so funny?!"

Yui held a hand up and slowly started to calm down and inhaled deeply. "Sorry, sorry, it's just, I never laugh that hard and strong unless I hear something so amazngly stupid and ridiculous is all."

"What is?" all of them said at once.

"Oh, you don't know? Damn, you all call yourselves goddesses, and yet you can't get it? What a fucking joke." remarked Yui bluntly while crossing his arms. "Let me make this clear. I came here to do something about this, especially when I heard how you all KIDNAPPED MY WIFE, mother to my daughter, but after hearing your opinions on her, I just got to say this. How long have you gone since you last had a dick in you? Or eaten a clam? Or did anything remotely satisfying? Because if this is a matter about unwinding and getting off, then grow some balls, find someone else, and get over it."

"We have had lovers since Marisa left us." spoke Criss as she pointed to the dead boys. "And have used them for my burgers. It's efficient and healthy for sex."

"So this is a matter of pride, is that it? You're all just pissy because SHE left YOU, and it wasn't the other way around, is that it?"

"No." said Az-Ula. "She left us after we offered her power, wealth, infinite resources and pleasure, but you." She pointed at Yui. "Turn her from a potential goddess of evil to a lowly yandere that will one day kill herself out of love. You ruined our plans and our relationships, and since you're here, we will have our vengeance and take pleasure in seeing you kiss my foot."

Yui shook his head while wagging his finger. "Tut tut tut, you really are like Azula. An arrogant, nonsensical, over confidant, bitch of a fool. You all say I ruined your plans, and yet you go and kidnap her. So in your eyes, her emotions didn't matter, right? To you she was just a pawn to use and be thrown away when you got what you wanted, is that about right?"

She narrowed her eyes. "Perhaps, but she is a simple mortal-"

"Immortal now. Fused with a Lich that nearly killed me."

"What?" She faltered while looking surprised.

"Well yeah, she fused with it, wait….you didn't know about that?"

All seven closed their mouths in silence.

"Wow….once again, hilarious." he chuckled. "You act like all seeing, and yet you couldn't see that?" he shook his head. "You know, I WAS gonna come here, talk it out, maybe see if a solution could be made to keep you from acting more like children, but it's obvious. You threaten the ZOO, which isn't even mine, where a pal of mine and his kids live, the place where MY Marisa teaches, OUR daughter stays and was made, and the place where the three of us plowed like rabbits. See unlike you seven rejects, I actually care. I might be an asshole who does asshole things, but if there's two things in my life I will protect, it's my wife and daughter. So I will offer two options to you all. Either you stay the fuck away from the ZOO and them, or stick with your original plan, but know this. If you pick option two, I'm gonna show you the real difference between our powers. So what's it going to be?"

"You don't have the balls yankee." frowned Criss.

"Oh? Fun fact about me, while Omni is the power house and sometimes inventive of the two of us." He smiled falsely. "I don't have his internal calmness when it comes to fools like you."

The women snapped their fingers. "Guards, bring us his head and we shall grant you godhood."

The guards grabbed their weapons and moved over to surround Yui who yawned.

"I'm glad you chose that, now maybe I can wake up. Hearing your voices were putting me to sleep. So fellas, who's ready to die today?"

"Kill the warlock!" One monster roared while charging at him.

He smirked before summoning a small hammer and swung it around, generating massive amounts of lightning in the process. This electrocuted them and made them scream before dropping down while Yui made it vanish. "Wow, they only lasted one swing. You all must be going for the cheap guards."

The women frowned while summoning more guards. "Kill him!"

Yui cracked his knuckles as more guards ran at him before he spread his arms out, only for several tentacles to burst out from his body and impale them all through the head before pulling out, making them all fall down unmoving. "I'm sorry, did you tell them to kill me, or literally die without putting a scratch on me?"

Exian ran at Yui while said deity summoned a familiar blade as they clashed blades. "What?! How do you have Excalibur?!"

"Omni."

Her eyes widened before getting slashed on the front legs. "Gah!"

"I'll owe him one later, but if it means I get to chop you into sirloin, then it'll be worth it." smirked Yui before ducking from her swing and ran between her legs and behind her. "Strike one!"

"Gah!" She turned and slashed at him. "You bastard!"

"Woah!" Yui ducked again and ran around the side. "Strike two!"

Exian ducked before trying to slice his head off. Her blade met Excalibur through with him grunting.

"Are you even trying? You sure like to disappoint a guy. Then again with a rear like that, I'm not surprised."

"You little-" She got out before Excalibur parlayed the blade and stabbed her between the breasts. "AHHH!"

"Sorry honey, but I'm not little where it counts." he whispered while slamming his fists against her nose.

She went falling to the floor while Athros charged at him.

"TIME TO DIE!" She yelled while tackling Yui right into several diamond walls.

"Ow ow oh god that hurts...not!" he laughed before digging his heels into the ground and slowly slowing her down before they stopped as she grunted to try and move him. "Aw, did someone want a hug?"

"Ugh….ugh!" She grunted before Yui picked her up and spun her around. "AAAAHHHHHHHH!"

"Weeeh! Isn't this fun?" He laughed before Centorea Alteroria charged at him.

"For the empire!"

"What's that? You wanna play? Ok, catch!"

"AHHHHH!"

CRASH!

Yui smirked as he saw the two 'bitches' crushed against a wall. "Aw come on now, didn't you learn how to catch?"

"Ugh…." both groaned in pain.

"If you're already down, then I'm sad to see that. After all, I heard you could kill gods."

"...ugh…." Athros got up with a groan and glared at Yui before grabbing part of the rubble and hurled it at him.

Yui yawned before he made himself intangible, making it go right through him. "You're making this too easy."

Athros roared and charged at him while Centorea Alteroria struggled to get up, despite the broken bones and cracked skull. "DIE!"

Yui smirked and held out his arm before it twitched and suddenly morphed into a tendril that wrapped around her arm when she swung, catching her off guard. "Sorry, but dying isn't on my schedule."

She tried to pull the arm back, but couldn't move it before getting lifted into the air as another tendril grabbed her legs. "What are you? Let go!"

"You like to act like you're superior? It's best to back it up with words. You mocked me for being a mortal with the heart of an old one? Well I will now show you what an old one can do to an arrogant cow."

Athros cried as the tendrils began to pull from opposite directions, as the centaur began to charge at Yui. "AHHHHHHH!"

"Unhand the woman, beast!" She yelled while not seeing an extra tendril appearing from his cloak and grabbed her by the neck. "GAH!"

"I prefer squid, or even octohead at least." chuckled Yui while lifting her into the air with it. "You know, for a supposed goddess who can see the future, seems your friend couldn't see that coming, or maybe she did and didn't say anything."

"Gah…"

"AHHHHH!" screamed Athros struggling to break free.

"Now then, what was that thing you were gonna do to Marisa again?"

"You will not win!" She cried out before feeling her body stretch. "AHHHHHHHHHH!"

RRRRRIIIPPPPP!

Only for it to get ripped in two as the centaur found herself getting strangled by ten more tendrils.

"A...A...A...AHHHHH!" she screamed as they squeezed her neck harder and harder with the other women standing up.

"Let her go at once!"

"Hmmm, well I MIGHT be tempted, IF all of you swear off your plans for Marisa."

"Never!" Exian snapped before getting a sword to the heart by a tendril holding excalibur.

"Your loss." Yui frowned as the tendrils suffocated her to death, only to see Indra the Second chanting and summoning an army of asuras and yakshas from bolts of black lightning.

"Kill him." She cackled. "Kill him for the goddesses! Hahaha!"

Yui deadpanned at this. "Tell that to your dead pals." he remarked before tossing the dead body down.

The army of demons ran at him as Yui opened a few hundred portals and caused several giant boulders to fall on each one. "AHHH!"

"Indiana Jones bitches!" He laughed before seeing the priestess summoning more demons and decided to shut her up. "You want to use demons? Then allow me to show you my nasty face." his body began to twitch and spasm while he groaned with his body slowly growing. "I will make you all fear me for your arrogance."

The goddess raised an eyebrow at this while the slime, human and yaksha felt very scared as Yui started to break, reform and stretch into a strange and dark form. 'How unusual, but still below my expectations.'

Yui's form growed and got bigger, but not too big while several tendrils dangled out and several heads of apex predators, from ancient dinosaurs to fictional monsters of legend, formed on his body with growls and hisses. He stood up with tentacles for arms and looked down at them with what looked like a lion's skull in the hood. "**This is your last warning. Beg for mercy and vow to never do it, or I will show you what I can do when I'm pushed.**"

Az-Ula waved her hand. "Indra, Criss, Tyranna. Get rid of this lower life form, it's blabbering about nothing."

Indra the Second was about to summon another asura before a tendril went through her open mouth and right through her skull, killing her instantly as her body turned into ash. Her body went down as it went out, shocking the others as Yui growled.

"**You've made your choice. Now you will suffer. Of course, if you wanna follow after the cunt like dogs, you have a chance to bite her hand.**"

Both human and slime looked at the deity before looking at Az-Ula and said at the same time. "We quit."

She just yawned and snapped her fingers before their bodies exploded into flames. "Fools, I knew I should've killed them when we met, oh well, they can be replaced."

"**Not when you and this whole place comes tumbling down.**"

She stood up and yawned. "Then try and destroy a goddess, false god."

"**As you wish.**"

She crossed her arms while waiting for Yui to attack her, like her mother before her. "Then come or are you too weak to face me, Mallory?"

Yui's eyes glowed with an unholy hue at the name of his past self.

"Come on then, or are you too scared to fight? Just like when you were kicked and punched by your bully. Oh that's right, you're a forgotten worm, no one remembers you, not even your parents."

"**Shut the hell up you pretentious little worm.**"

"Oh? Looks like I hit a tender spot. How weak of you, and by the way." She smirked. "You being left within that realm of light was stupid, but you did steal a heart instead of doing the smart thing and grovel like a worm. Still, you're just a forgotten human with my prize, and I'm going to make sure everything you created from her burns forever."

"**That's what you think.**" he spoke before opening his mouth and let out a roar that shook the place and sent a shockwave at her.

She held her ground before noticing the god wasn't in front of her. 'Where-'

POW!

She went flying into a wall while Yui stood next to her right side.

"**What's wrong? Couldn't see that coming? And I thought you could see the future. Well here's what I see for you. Nothing.**"

Az-Ula stood up before sending a wave of fire at him, only for the flames to vanish instantly. 'What the?'

"**You think fire is enough? Your mother was a fool, but she'd probably have the mind to realize how outclassed she was. You? You lack common sense.**" he mocked before lashing out with several tendrils.

She dodged the tendrils and sent several blasts of lighting at Yui, only for the plasma to vanish again. 'What!?'

This led to her getting smacked away and hit the opposite wall with a crash.

"**You don't learn can you? Maybe I should hold back, give you a little handicap. Of course, your mother didn't need one.**" he mocked moving towards her.

Az-Ula frowned while sending wave after wave of lightning and fire at him, only for the energy abilities to vanish every time. 'What's going on!? Why are my powers not working on this insect!?'

Yui smirked before a shark's head from his body separated and lunged at her with it's jaws wide open.

She tried to blast it with blue flames, but the head latched onto her arm and clamped down as another head in the form of a mosasaurus chomped on her right hand, a tiger's head on her right leg and a python's head on her left leg. "GAH!"

"**What's wrong 'goddess'? Can't hurt me? I thought you were all powerful? Or was all that talk just that? Empty words you spewed out just to feel powerful?**"

She tried to struggle, but the head seemed to be sapping her of her strength. "H...How? How can you defeat a goddess! A true goddess of noble birth!?"

"**Your mother was just a prodigy princess from a power mad man.**" he mocked while throwing her up against the ceiling as the heads let go with her limbs bleeding. "**You were still of mortal blood. Without being born in that family, you're no different than what I USED to be.**"

"AHHHH! You worm!" she yelled. "You can't do this to me! You're a false god!"

"**Deity.**" he spoke as she fell and groaned with anger. "**Unlike you, I am blunt and honest. I am not perfect. I am not a hero, nor a villain. I do things for myself and my own benefit, but there's one blatant thing that separates you and me.**"

"What?" she growled while her strength started to fade into nothingness.

"**I have a wife, a daughter, and those around me. Sure I'm an asshole to a few, but I have people to keep safe. You? All you see around you are tools and pawns. You have no way of knowing what love, compassion, or even loyalty is.**"

Az-Ula groaned as Yui moved her closer to him. "Weaknesses of...a forgotten human. But know this, even if I'm defeated, there are those that will end you in my place, including my lord Sutinav."

"**Oh you misunderstand me.**" Yui's tendrils grabbed her and slid over her form. "**I won't kill you completely. I'm going to make your mind go to mush after experiencing something I've always wanted to do.**" he made three tendrils move in front of her while dripping wet. "**I'm going to make you experience every weird fetish and kink I've seen on permanent repeat, until your mind is nothing but numb.**"

"Ah…." she groaned in pain before Yui whispered into her ear.

"**Oh, and me plowing Marisa is gonna be in there. It's the closest thing you'll ever get to seeing her happy. Shame a 'goddess' couldn't even get to first base.**"

"Ah...how...did you...defeat me…?" she got out as her body was covered in tendrils.

"**Stole your powers, duh.**" he laughed while the only sound heard from her was the sound of gasps and moaning.

As this was happening, we find that a strange glitchy portal has opened up near the corpses of the exes before they were absorbed into it like a fly to a lightsource.

(Much later)

Yui whistled as he appeared back in the ZOO while holding a rose and some chocolates. "Honey, I'm home~"

That was when Omni opened the door to his wife's apartment. "...um I'm just here to finish the paperwork, but that was kinda cute….um can I have the chocolates?"

"Get out of here!"

"Ok ok I'm going!" he yelled while running away, and with the chocolates in his hands. 'I hope it's milk chocolate.'

"Marisa? I'm back." he called out while seeing Marisa finishing some tests.

"Oh Yui, what happened? Did you defeat them…" she asked while tears were down her red and puffy cheeks.

"Let's just say I took care of them in my own personal way. So yeah, I cleaned their clock."

And cue Marisa hugging him so tight that Yui's back broke upon contact.

"GAH!"

"YOU IDIOT! I WAS SO...so….sniff worried!" she cried while hugging him like a vise.

"Still….need….air."

She let him go while Yui fell on his face like an accordion. "Sorry...I sniff...sniff…"

"Ow…"

That was when Cynthia walked into the room, pouting.

'I miss my powers. I need a hug!'

"Anyways, you won't ever have to worry about them again." Yui said while fixing himself.

Marisa sniffled before taking a long sigh of relief. 'Finally...my past is gone.'

"You know what this calls for?"

"Pizza?"

"PIZZA!" Cynthia cried out. "Pizza! Where where!?"

'I was gonna say plowing, but that works too.' he thought while seeing his wife and child looking very hungry for pizza, only to notice Omni was next to Cynthia while in the form of Esdeath.

"I require pizza Tatsumi." 'she' commanded. "Buy us some or suffer the end of my boot."

Yui eye twitched at this. "Omni? Family moment going on here."

"Well technically." 'she' said while turning back to his normal form. "I'm part of the family too, after all you are like an annoying brother sometimes while I'm the normal and calm 'sister' figure." 'Plus free food.'

"...eh fair enough." Yui shrugged.

"Then let's get this party started!" Omni yelled while summoning pizza monsters into the room. "Let's eat!"

"**ROAR!**"

"**ROAR!**"

"Pizza!" Cynthia yelled while charging at a pepperoni monster with a fork and knife.

Said monster yelled in fear and took off running.

Yui and Marisa sighed at this while Omni slapped the screen with the words 'End' on the screen. 'Damn it Omni.'


	15. Chapter 15

List of oneshots part 4

chapter 15

Monster girls dealing with fears related to their own species.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

"Hello, is your loved one scared? Do their fears hold them back? Do you fear that it's causing harm to them and you? Well fear no more, for I'm here to tell you of a place that can help." Said a woman with white bunny ears wearing a pink dress. "We have a place where you and your loved one can face their fears together, as a couple, and in a safe environment where no one will get hurt."

She walked over near a path and gestured to a pristine white hotel up it with a smile. "Here at our special institute, we guarantee a safe and relaxing environment with plenty of methods to cure you of any phobia you might have."

She entered the hotel which showed several couples, except the women looked strange, as most weren't human. "Here we have a special area where you and your loved one can conquer your fears, but that's not all, for when you aren't doing that you can enjoy our many luxuries and amenities that we provide."

"So in a way, it also functions as a nice getaway for privacy." Spoke a well dressed man walking over beside her with a smile. "This method worked for me and my wife, so why are you still waiting, come down here and help them, and bond together as partners."

"And hurry, we're getting calls by the dozens." smiled the bunny girl.

"Call today, to make the rest of your life great." The man and woman said together with a grin. "Come to Elysium!"

The camera flashed the phone number while the screen panned away and up to one of the occupied rooms.

"This is amazing sweetie, I can't believe we're staying at an ocean resort!" Beamed a girl with long green hair, arms covered in the same colored feathers, and bird legs with talons while in a blue dress.

"Yep, you've seemed stressed, then I saw this place and I thought it might be a fun thing to do." Said a tall man with sandy blonde hair.

"Well a nice cool swim in the water is just what I need. Then maybe a trip to the spa to really help my feathers breath." She smiled while stretching her arms out.

"Well, before we do that, I have something I need to confess to you, this isn't just a normal resort."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, put this on first and I'll explain." He said as he held out a blindfold.

"Ooh! You rascal." She smiled before taking it and slipped it on. "If you wanted to do something like this, all you had to do was ask." She chuckled as he took her wing and began to lead her out of the room. "Huh? Where are we going?"

"Just keep that blindfold on, I'll lead the way." He said as they kept walking.

"Ok….so honey, you said this wasn't a normal resort?"

"Yeah, it's one I came across by accident, but it's something I feel can be really helpful." He said as he led her towards a large balcony made of glass as an attendant held open a thick door.

"Helpful? Oh! You mean with the stress?"

"Yes, and….your fear." he said as they stepped out onto the balcony as the attendant closed and locked the door behind them. "You can take the blindfold off."

She did just that and froze as she saw where they were before screaming out in fear. "AHHHHHHHH! W-W-W-WE'RE HIGH UP!"

"Yes, about...twenty stories up?" He said as the harpy tried to make her way to the door, only to find it locked.

"Oh god, help! Help! Someone!" She screamed while breaking out in a cold sweat as she looked at the glass and imagined cracks, making her jump and cling to the door and hit her head against it. "HELP! I'm gonna fall!"

"No, you're not! And even if you did, you can fly!" He said as he moved towards her and tried to pull her into a hug. "This room is reinforced glass, you can walk on it and not worry about it breaking."

"LIAR! I-I could fall off, the glass could break! T-This isn't good, get me down from here!" She cried out while shaking even while in the hug. "Glass isn't strong, it's fragile! I let go and try to stand, it'll break and we'll go splat!"

"No, we won't, and even if the glass did break I wouldn't be worried, because I know you would catch me." He whispered while hugging her tighter and rubbed her head. "You're a harpy, you were meant to live in the sky, and I think that's why you've been so stressed lately."

"I-I-I'm not made for the sky, flapping wings can't lift up my body. It's too fat." She muttered while closing her eyes.

"No, it's not, and I know you can, and so can you." he said as she shook her head no.

"Nuh uh!"

"Yes, you can, I believe in you!" He said as he let go of her and walked towards the edge. "And you need to believe in yourself."

"W-Wait, sweetie, what are y-" She started as he climbed up on the edge. "WAIT!"

"Like I said, I believe in you." He smiled, only to lean over the edge and started falling.

"NOOO!" She cried, and then without thinking jumped after him and spread her wings. She dove down to him and managed to grab him by his legs with her talons and started flapping her wings quickly with panic, causing her to keep in the air without letting go of the legs.

"Yes, you're doing it, you're flying!" He smiled looking up while she blinked and looked around, still shaking, but not stopping with the flapping.

"I-I am? Wow…. wait, don't distract me, you made me do this, don't you ever scare me like that again!" She yelled looking at him with a glare. "I thought I was gonna lose you!"

"But you didn't!"

"That's not the point! I didn't agree to this, you tricked me and what if I was right, you would have died!"

"I told you, because I believed in you."

"That is not a good reason to jump off a twenty story building!" She growled while shaking a little as she flew, which caused him to flail a little. "I oughta shake you up while I'm here as payback!"

"Ah! H-hey, no need to get hasty, right?"

"Time to shake!" She cried out in anger as she began to do just that.

"Ahhhh!" He cried out as we cut to a man who was placing something next to a chair before sighing.

'It's for her own good.' He thought before clearing his throat. "Honey, can you come here please?"

"Coming dear!" Called a large purple skinned woman with the hood of a cobra behind her head and a long purple snake tail for legs. She slithered towards him with a smile.

"So... Do you know why I brought you here?" Asked the man as she moved to him.

"For some fun and relaxation of course. You can't fool me~"

"Yes, but there's more... and please know I'm only doing this for your own good."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I may have brought you here to help you get over your fear?"

"...What?" She said, losing all playfulness in her voice.

"Hehe...surprise?" He said as he gestured to the chair. "But first, why don't you have a seat?"

"Why?" she asked before moving over to the chair, noticing the bag near him. "Honey, what's that?"

"So... just stay calm." He said as he opened the bag and the sound of hissing filled the air.

"H-H-Honey, put that down." she gulped backing up.

"Dalila, please stay calm, this snake isn't vene-" He started only for her to scream out in fear.

"SNAKE!? SNAKE!"

"Honey, please calm down, it's just a young python, it's only four feet long!"

"SNAAAAKE!" She screamed slithering out of the room quickly.

"Honey, wait!" He called as he chased after her. "Please, just calm down and let me explain!"

"KEEP THAT CREEPY CRAWLY AWAY!" She cried in fear. "WHERE ARE IT'S ARMS AND LEGS?! IT'S NOT OK!"

"Honey, please, it's harmless! You can't run away, I locked all the doors to our suite, you have to face your fear!" He yelled rounding the corner and saw her banging on the door and jiggling the knob while the python poked its head out the bag. "Please, you are part snake, and I want you to embrace that...and stop freaking out every morning you see your tail poking out from beneath the covers."

She turned and shook more seeing the snake flicking its tongue out and screamed while pounding on the door. "This is inhumane! How could you torture me like this!?"

"I just want to help you, this snake is harmless!" He cried as he stepped closer to her. "See? Just give it a little rub on the head."

"You wanna kill me! It's going to eat me!"

"What? No, this thing is tiny, it can't eat you!" He spoke moving closer as she screamed and clawed at the door like a maniac.

"HELP! SOMEONE!" She cried as she pounded harder and harder.

"Please, you'll thank me for this later."

"I HATE YOU!"

He groaned and got within a foot of her. "Come on, one little pet."

"No no no no no! Why would I do that?!"

"Because if you do... I'll put him away and you won't have to see him again, ok?" He suggested.

"More lies! I'll bet you want him to gobble me up while I sleep! That's what any no good slimy snake would do!"

"No! And he couldn't! Also you're part snake, so should I worry about you gobbling me up?"

She looked at him and then her snake tail before screaming out in complete terror and wound up slumping down before dropping to the floor fainting.

"... shit, did I just make this ten times worse?" He said as he scratched his head. "Damn it, maybe I should have just taken her to therapy?"

The python flicked the air with its tongue before slithering up his arm and fell to the floor, then proceeded to move over to the woman and went up her own tail.

"Ok buddy, maybe now it's not the time to be slithering over her." Spoke the man while seeing it flick its tongue against her cheek. "Come on, let's get you back in the bag."

"Ugh...what happened?" Groaned the apophis feeling something against her face. "Ugh...not now, I just had the worst dream ever….we can get freaky later."

"Uh, that's not me."

Her eyes opened and slowly moved over to see the python face to face with her. "...Ah….ah…...aaaaaaahhhhhhh!"

"No, no, please, just calm down." He spoke while seeing her tense up and lightly shake. "It won't hurt you, I promise."

"I-It could kill me right now...please….get it off meeeee!" She pleaded as the snake rubbed up against her, with her feeling it's smooth scales and watched as it calmly slithered across her chest. "P-Please….help."

"Ok, alright, just hold still, ok?" He reached out to grab it, only for the snake to slip right down between her chest, making them go wide eyed while she jumped with a blush feeling it move.

"W-What is it doing? S-Stop it!" She yelped feeling it wiggling around making her gasp.

"Ok, that's enough!" Her husband said as he reached down and carefully grabbed the snake. "I'm so sorry, are you ok?"

"Y-Yeah~" She moaned.

"Wait...do you LIKE this?" he asked with surprise, making her look away.

"N-No?"

"Sweetie, it's not bad if you do, I just want to know."

"...maybe a little?"

"Want me to leave him in there?" He asked with a small chuckle as she huffed and looked away.

"No… but don't get rid of him."

"So you're fine with a snake being this close to you?"

"Well not exactly… it's complicated." She groaned before pausing. "Which reminds me, once you put that snake away I need to punish you for pulling a stunt like that!"

He paled seeing her cold glare and got a chill down his back. "N-Now honey, I was just trying to do what was best for you."

"You went behind my back and brought a snake near me!" She hissed before seeing said snake poke it's head out. "You're going to pay for this, now get on the bed!"

"But-"

"NOW!"

"Y-Yes ma'am!" He said as we cut to a couple relaxing on the beach. Said couple was a man in swimming trunks and the other a blond haired woman with a seashell bikini and a green fish tail instead of legs.

"Ah…. this is nice, we needed this." Said the man with a happy sigh.

"You said it, the fresh sun is making me feel close to taking a nap."

"Yeah… say, the water looks nice, how about we go for a swim?" He suggested, making the woman go wide eyed and shake her head.

"No, let's just stay right here, under the warm and bright sun, and the nice dry sand."

"Hey, c'mon, we're at an ocean resort, we might as well enjoy it to the fullest, right?" The man sat up and stood up before holding his hand out. "Come on, it'll be nice and cool."

"I-I'm good here, I have my chair, my drink and a tree to give me shade, what more do I need?" she asked before sipping from the drink as the man shook his head.

"How can you say you're not the least bit interested when the ocean is right there?"

"Very easily, now you can go swim if you want, but I'll pass."

"I'm afraid I can't do that, now hold still."

"What are you talking ab-wah!" She let out before finding herself yanked by the tail and dragged across the sand towards the water. "H-Hey! What are you doing, let go!"

"Sure, I'll let go, when you're in the water with me!" He said as her eyes widened.

"No, please, don't make me go in there!"

"Come on, it won't kill you."

"Yes it will! Please don't make me!"

"Babe, please, it's the ocean, and you're a mermaid!" Sighed the man while the girl shook her head.

"Some things aren't meant to be! Birds fly, whales swim, and I stay on land!"

"That isn't how it goes and you know it!"

"Yes it will! Please don't make me!"

"Babe, please, it's the ocean, and you're a mermaid!" He groaned trying to drag her by the tail, but she gripped on to the nearby tree.

"No! You're trying to drag me to my doom!"

"It's not even a foot of water! Just part of the shallows!"

"DOOM!"

The man tried to pull harder, but the mermaid just held on tighter. "Come...on!"

"Nooooo! Why are you doing this to me?!" She cried as she tried to hold on as tight as she could.

"Because if you don't learn to go in the water, you might dry up!" He cried as he kept tugging on her.

"Noooo! I'm fine, don't make me go in!" She screamed louder with her nails digging into the bark before slowly moving and making marks on it. "If you love me you'll quit it!"

"I do love you, this is why I won't let you dry up!" He grunted, yanking even harder, causing her to let go and scream as he stumbled back with her in his arms, right to the water.

She froze as she felt it before she began to freak out. "AHHHH! NO NO NO! DON'T LET IT TOUCH ME!"

"Aqua, please calm down, you're ok, you're ok!" Spoke the man as she squirmed and shoved at his face while he struggled to hold her.

"No! You're trying to kill me and lure a shark here!"

"I'm not trying to-OW!" He cried as she punched him in the face before trying to climb on top of him in order to get out of the water. "Quit it!"

"Then get me out of this death trap!" She cried as she floundered about as he lost his balance and fell back, right into the water once more. "AHHHH!" She screamed when she landed, splashing around and flailing about. "HELP! SOMEONE! I'M DROWNING!"

The man shook his head and looked at Aqua without looking phased. "Babe, you're not drowning."

"YES I AM!"

"Babe, no, for one you're in two feet of water, and the second reason why you're not drowning is that you have gills." He deadpanned while standing up. "See? You'd only drown in this water if you were a toddler, and you're my age."

"Just get me out of here!" She cried right as a wave hit her from behind, soaking her. "AHHH! See! It wants to drown me and suck me into the abyss!"

"Babe, you're being ridiculous." He said as he reached down and picked her up like a bride.

"T-Thank you...thank you…" She said as she held onto him tightly. "I thought I was a goner…"

'Maybe we'll have better luck tomorrow. Hmm, maybe the jacuzzi could help her unwind.' He thought as he carried her out of the water. 'I'll pamper her tonight to make up for this.'

"I could feel a shark eyeing me like chum, it wanted to eat me!"

"Babe, it's just us out here, there aren't any sharks." he remarked, right as a woman and a mershark walked down past them.

"Sup." waved the mershark, flashing her sharp teeth with Aqua paling and going wide eyed as the mershark and girl dove into the water.

'Ugh, I'll be hearing about that later.' He thought as he felt Aqua shake in fear. Now we cut over to one of the hotel rooms which was pitch black, the normal curtains having been replaced with blackout ones.

"Ahhh, this is what I call a true vacation." Sighed a voice from the darkness. Just then the door opened to show that the figure was a green skinned woman who looked like she was sitting in a large pot with several dead flowers in her hair.

"What th- oh come on babe, I leave to get ice and you block out all the light?!" Groaned a blonde woman as she entered the room and turned on the light.

"Hisss!" came the green skinned woman grabbing the nearby bed sheets and covered her head. "Turn the lights off!"

"Babe, you can't just live in darkness, especially you! You need light to survive, specifically sunlight!" frowned the woman walking over. "Your species literally need it to grow big and strong."

"I don't need that, I have video games and movies!" She spoke with a huff. "Who needs light when the darkness is here?"

"Because you can't see in the dark." The blonde said as she shook her head. "Alright, let's deal with this." She said as she headed towards the curtains. She pulled them open and let sunlight in, making the girl cry out seeing the light from under the sheet.

"Noooo! It burns, it burns! Why are you doing this?!"

"To keep you alive." She said as she shook her head. "Now you get out there and start photosynthesizing!"

"No way! The sun is gonna damage my skin with it's rays and then I'll burst into flames! How can you be so heartless?!"

"What?! Where did you learn that, that's not what will happen!"

"Of course it will! If the sun's rays are focused through a lens it can burn plants, and if any plant is too dry, they'll burst into flames. I've seen the news on California and they deal with wildfires every year!"

"Well are you extremely dry right now?"

"Well no, bu-"

"Are you in california?"

"Well of course not, but-"

"Is there a giant magnifying glass anywhere?"

"Well... not that I can see, b-"

"Then tell me, how could you end up burned like what you're saying? If you don't get any sunlight, your own body will wither away, and doesn't that sound like something way worse?"

"...I've felt just fine in the darkness like this no problem…."

"Plant mulch can only help so much." Sighed the blonde as she shook her head. "Time for you to go outside."

"No! You can't make me!"

"Oh yes I can." she moved over and tried to tug the sheets off, with the alraune holding them tightly.

"No! No taking!"

"That's not what you said last night, now give me the sheets!"

"No! I can survive just fine in the nice cool darkness! At least I don't have to worry about getting a horrible burn!"

"You're not going to burn!"

"Yes I will!"

"No you won't!" She groaned before getting an idea and grabbed the pot and began to pull it to the window. "Fine, you can keep the sheet, I'll just do this."

"Do wha- wait, are you trying to take me outside?!"

"No, but something real close." She said with a chuckle. "You will see the light!"

The plant woman lifted the sheet a little, and cried out seeing the sunlight hit her from the window, giving the woman a chance to yank the sheet away, and causing the alraune to get hit full force by the sunlight. "Nooo! Stop it, make it stop, make it stop!"

"Look, I get why you'd be scared, but you're not burning. Just take a minute and notice how it feels."

"No, no, please make it stop, make it….stop?" The alraune tried to cover her head, but she started to notice something. It felt like her skin was tingling, but in a good way. Like she was feeling her energy rising up. "What...what is this, it feels weird, but… nice?"

"See? You're not burning up, your body's naturally taking in the sunlight." Smiled the blond woman. "Hold your hands out and close your eyes, you'll really start to feel relaxed."

"O-Ok….I trust you…." She said as she did as instructed. She noticed the feeling rose up more and slowly relaxed. "I….I….I feel….good."

"Yes! That's how you're supposed to feel." The blonde said victoriously. "You're probably feeling more energized than when you just stay in the darkness, am I right?"

"I...yeah! How, how is this possible?!"

"It's your biology, you were meant to be in the sun."

"Wow….I….I feel warm, but I'm not catching on fire like I imagined."

"Yep. Isn't it nice?"

"Yeah…. In fact I feel kinda energized, like really energized! And horny~" She purred with the dead flowers around her slowly coming back to life as she turned to the blond who saw a glint in her eye.

"Wow, guess it really hit." she remarked while seeing vines slowly rising up and backed up. "Uh, maybe take it easy and not get TOO riled up on the stuff."

"Oh no, this is what you wanted, right~?" She chuckled. "Now come here and give me some LOVE~"

"Uh oh." Muttered the blond as the vines lashed out and yelped as the camera panned away. It moved around before focusing on a short man leading a tall woman who was oddly enough dressed in a purple suit and top hat.

"So where are we going dear?"

"Well, I thought we could get some lunch, I had them prepare a private room for us, and before you ask, yes, they made tea for you."

"Aw, you know me so well Alistor~" She smiled rubbing his head. "I'll bet you got it private hoping for some special desert, didn't you?"

"Oh trust me, I made sure it was private." He said with a slightly nervous chuckle. "Just keep in mind, it might be a big dish, so I hope you have a big appetite."

"Oh trust me, I have QUITE the appetite~" She chuckled as they reached their destination, a glass room surrounded by trees and tall bushes. "Ooh, this spot looks perfect."

"You have no idea." He muttered as they walked into the room and closed the door, him locking it while she saw a picnic basket set on a table. "So, I gave the cooks specific instructions on what to pack us for lunch."

"Well don't leave me in suspence, what did you have them make for us?" She asked as he gulped and walked over to the basket and pulled out a tray with a silver cover on it.

"Sit down and see, I'll pour you some tea." He said as he put the dish down in front of him.

She did so and smiled as he went and started filling a cup and handed it to her. "Is it earl grey?"

"Naturally." He said as she sipped the tea and let out a content sigh. 'Ok, she's relaxed, happy...let's do this.' he moved over to the dish. "So what's on the menu is a bit...different."

"Really? Oh! I think I understand, this must be some local cuisine, right? Some seafood?"

"No, but it is from around here." He spoke, pulling the lid off to reveal a bowl filled with several mushrooms, making the woman go wide eyed and do a spit take, him getting the tea to the face. "AHH! Hot! Hot! Hot!"

"M-M-MUSHROOMS! Honey, t-they gave me the wrong dish! Get them away from me!" She spoke backing up against the wall while he wiped at his face.

"No, I told them to give us them."

"W-WHAT?! Why?!" She cried out as she ran to the door. "No no no no no no no! Get me out of here!" Cried the tall woman in fear.

"Oh come on, they're just mushrooms!"

"Noooo! If I eat them I'll turn into a mushroom person!"

"...I knew I shouldn't have let you watch Matango." he grumbled before seeing her try to pull the door open. "Stop! I locked the room!"

"THEN UNLOCK IT!" SHe cried as she pounded on the door.

"I will...after lunch." He spoke firmly. "Now sit down and eat the mushrooms."

"No! Never!" She shouted as she shook her head. "I've seen what happens if you eat those! First you feel weird, then you get weird bumps, and then you turn into a walking mushroom zombie!"

"Honey that was a japanese horror movie, and you keep forgetting that your whole species was born from the real Matangos."

"They're even worse! The japanese movie is real! I won't let it happen to me!" She shouted as she kept pounding on the door.

"I promise if you eat one you'll be fine. Here, I'll show you they're perfectly fine." He said as he picked up one, making her turn to him in fear.

"NO!" She cried as she rushed over and smacked the mushroom out of his hand. "ARE YOU INSANE?!"

"I'm telling you they're fine. You have to learn to get over your phobia. Being scared of mushrooms is the reason you never made any friends with other mad hatters."

"They had mushrooms growing from them! It's proof that those evil fungi aren't to be trusted!" She said as she shook her head. "Besides, how come only I'm being forced into this, what about your fears?! Why don't you have to overcome them?!"

"Because my fears don't have me literally trying to scare away our neighbors by using fire." he deadpanned. "You're lucky they're so calm and casual or else we'd be up to our necks in lawsuits."

"Their hats are mushrooms!"

"And yours isn't?" He asked as he crossed his arms. "Have you even looked at your hat before?"

"Yes, and it's a normal one! Nothing about it is like a mushroom!" she denied while shaking him. "NOW OPEN THE DOOR!"

"Not until you eat the mushrooms!"

"NEVER!"

"Oh yes you will!" He grabbed a mushroom from the bowl and held it up, making her jump away from him. "One bite is all I'm asking."

"I-I won't do it, one bite is all it takes!"

"Well...what if I give you some incentive?"

"Nothing you offer will change it!"

"I'll let you call me Alice and do whatever you do whatever you want as long as you start eating mushrooms."

"...that's dirty! You can't offer something that good!" She blushed with wide eyes. "B-Besides, you would never d-"

"I would."

"B-But what about that thing wi-"

"That too."

"A-And that thing you would never let me do and you sa-"

"Everything and anything you want for the week, even that, all I want is for you to eat the mushroom."

She looked between him and the mushrooms, looking conflicted and held her hat before groaning and glared. "Fine! But so help me if I turn into a Matango, it'll be on YOUR head."

"Duly noted." He said as she nervously approached the bowl and reached in and gently picked up a small mushroom.

She gulped and closed her eyes, bringing it to her face and sniffed it, then quick took a bite out of it, trying to keep from spitting it up and chewed. 'J-Just swallow and get it over with!' She thought and gulped down the bite, trying not to gag.

"See? How do you feel?"

"Sick and disgusted."

"Well look at yourself and tell me if it feels like you're turning into a monstrous mushroom."

She looked down, waiting for the worst to happen… only nothing happened. "I-I didn't change?"

"Nope."

"I-I didn't change!" She said with a nervous laugh before turning to him and grinning. "Now then, I think it's time for you to hold up your side of the deal Alice~"

'Well it's a start.' He thought before finding himself pressed against the wall as the camera panned away. It moved around before focusing on a new couple heading to the forest, this one consisting of a large girl with short brown hair and bear ears, large bear paws and wearing a pair of flannel pajamas. Beside her was a man with a beard wearing a flannel shirt and blue pants.

"Honey... what is this place?" The bear girl yawned.

"The great outdoors."

"Ok... but why are we here instead of the resort?" She asked, breaking into a sweat with her eyes darting around. "Inside the nicely air conditioned cafeteria?"

"Well, I was asking around and I found out that this resort is also famous for its amazing honey."

"But...the cafeteria has honey there."

"True, but... I thought we could get it fresh."

"Why?"

"Well, it might taste better that way."

"No way! I'm not going out there!"

"About that..."

Bzzzzzz

She stiffened up and slowly turned her head before going silent when she saw a few bees flying by. "B-B-B-BEESS!" she cried out before jumping into her husband's arms, making him stumble back and nearly fall back with a groan. "SAVE MEEEE!"

"H-Honey, come on, they're just an insect!"

"I COULD DIE!"

"You're not allergic! In fact your species can't even feel bee stings!" He spoke while stumbling backwards due to the extra weight. "Come on, they're more scared of you than you are of them."

"Liar!" she growled while hugging his head against her chest and shivering. "All of them are just waiting to sting me and poison me all over! Get me back to the resort!"

"Ack, come on honey, this is for your own g-"

"NOW!" She roared.

"Ok ok!" He cried as he turned around and began to race back to the resort.

"I wanna go back to the spa and not see one bee!"

"Ok, ok, we can try again later I guess..." He sighed before lugging her away with a grunt.

"No! Never again!" she growled. "If you try it then I'll go ahead and burn the trees down!"

"I-I'm, ok, then uh... I'll bring the bees to you?"

"DON'T YOU DARE!"She growled as she tightened her grip on him, only to freeze as she heard A buzzing sound next to her head."Ahhhh! Bee! Get it away!" She cried as she tried to move herself in his arm, only to freeze in terror as she saw the bee land on her nose. "Ah...ah...ah...ah..."She said as she froze up in fear. "Honey... please... if you love me... Help."

"Ok, just remain still and don't swat at it." He said as he slowly brought his hands toward the bee. He tried to carefully use his hand to guide it away without actually touching it. 'Maybe this wasn't the best idea...' He thought as they headed back to the resort, passing by another couple heading to the forest.

"Come on, can I take the blindfold off yet?" Asked the girl who was wearing a green dress, she also had a pair of pointed ears and had two large feet with a tail swishing behind her.

"Not yet, we're almost there." Spoke the boy with dyed blue hair while holding her hands. "Just no peeking or you'll ruin the surprise."

"Ok, ok, just hurry, I can't wait!" She giggled happily.

'I don't wanna have to take a drastic measure, but if I don't she'll never get over her fear.' He thought as he saw his destination up head,a large field of flowers surrounded by trees. "We're almost there."

"Oh boy oh boy oh boy!" She said as he led her into the field. "Oh, where are we, a gaming convention, a new cinema? Oh, can I look now?"

"It's neither of those, but somewhere way more fun. Go ahead." He said as he untied her blindfold. 'And please don't be mad.'

"Oooh this is gonna be fun!" She beamed before seeing the flowers and trees, and quickly lost her smile. "W-What the fuck Nate?!"

"So, don't be mad, but here we are, I thought we could get closer to nature."

"NATURE?! You mean with d….d….d...dirt?"

"Yes."

"A-A-And bugs, poisonous plants, a-and wild feral animals?!"

"Come on, this trip is something we both need."

"No! Nuh uh, no way, not happening!" she turned away with a shiver. "Don't you know what kind of scary things are lurking out there in those...woods?"

"I know it can be a bit scary, but there's lots of good stuff. Fresh air, less city noise, and some of the critters there are more scared of us than we are of them."

"Bullshit! I've seen nature documentaries!" She frowned before looking at the ground and paled seeing her feet on some dirt and yelped before clinging to a tree, only to scream louder and tackled Nate while curling up on his chest to stay off the ground. "G-Get us out of here, now!"

"No." he said as he sat down and lied down, much to her horror. "I brought you here to try and cure you."

"I-I don't need a damn cure! It's normal not to like nature!"

"Not when you're a troll." He said as he shook his head. "Remember what your mom said, you need to reconnect with nature."

"Liar!" She glared. "I know all the stuff that nature brings, and most of it sucks!"

"Then why are there flowers sprouting around your head then?" He remarked with a small smirk.

"Huh?" She looked up and grabbed at her hair, paling when she felt flowers that weren't there before. "S-Stupid infestation!" She cried as she began to tug the flowers off. "Come on, we have to get out of here!"

"Nope, I'm not getting up. If you want out, you're gonna have to touch the ground."

"Noooo! Why are you trapping me in this hell hole?!" She cried as a butterfly landed on her nose. She screamed and tried swatting it away, but it calmly fluttered around her. "Get me out of here!"

"No." He spoke bluntly. "Not until you give nature a shot."

"Augh I hate you! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!" She slapped at his chest with a frown. "When we get home, we're through!"

"Come on, Ivy, please, I'm doing this to help you!"

"HATE YOU!"

"You can't just live your whole life scared of nature!"

"Yes I can! Watch me!"

'I knew this was coming.' He thought with a sigh. "Ok, time for some tough love."

"What do you mean by t-whoa!" She cried as he rolled over, knocking her off of him and onto the flowers. "Ahhh! Get them off! Get them off!" She cried as Nate quickly moved away from her so she couldn't jump on him again.

"Just try sniffing them."

"No! They're poison!"

"What? No they're not!" He deadpanned. "Just sniff!"

"Fine, then you have to get me out of here!"

"Deal." He said as she gulped nervously before giving the closest flower a quick sniff. "How's it smell?"

"It smells fine, I guess, now let's go!"

"Don't you wanna, I don't know, maybe roll around in them for a little?"

"What? Why? Why would I wanna do that?"

"I thought trolls were into that."

"Not this one!"

"If you do it I'll take you to comic con?"

"...you trying to butter me up now?"

"Would it help if I offered to pay for anything you wanted?" He offered as her eyes widened.

"I'm holding you to that!" She spoke before she closed her eyes and started to roll around the flowers. 'Ok, just get it over with and then you can go….huh, this is….kinda nice?' She thought, feeling the flowers and grass against her skin while more flowers grew on her head. "He...he he...hehehe!" She chuckled as she kept rolling.

"Having fun?"

"Haha! Er, I mean uh….no?" She said as she stopped, her face heating up.

"You were." He smiled making her glare.

"I wasn't!"

"So do you still want to go or would you like to stay here for a bit longer?"

"...five more minutes." She muttered sheepishly as the camera panned away from them. This time we find a tall tanned skin woman wrapped up in numerous bandages sleeping while being carried on the back of a black haired man who was walking up a dirt path.

"Almost….there…" He huffed as he reached a massive dome where several workers were waiting for him. "So...is this...the place?"

"Yes sir, this is our special dome for anyone who wishes for an experience that this area can't provide." Said the worker as he checked a clipboard. "Are you two here for the desert and pyramid set up?"

"Yeah, that's us."

"Great, follow me and we'll get you two set up. Now just know if you ever want out just say the phrase 'I'm tired of this tundra', got it?"

"Gotcha." He said as he entered the dorm with his wife.

(Later)

"Hey, sweetie, time to wake up."

"Mmmm…."

"Come on, wake up, something happened!"

"What?" she mumbled without opening her eyes. She opened them to see that she was on a cot surrounded by sand and the ruins of a pyramid. They instantly shot open and sat up before looking around. "W-Where are we?!"

"I don't know, but it looks like the desert!" Spoke the man as the woman started to nervously bite at her nails.

"T-This is just a dream, right? A really, really bad dream?"

"I wish it was, but it's real." He said as the mummy froze before fainting. "Cleo?" He said as he lightly shook her. "Cleo? Come on, wake up!"

She remained passed out.

"Cleo, come on… A sandworm is trying to steal me from you?"

"Ugh….keep your slimy hands off…." She groaned as she began to wake up "...he's mine….only mine…"

"Come on Cleo, we gotta try and make it back out of here, which means we gotta walk out of this place."

"Wait...walk? On the….sand?"

"Yes."

"... NOOO! It will swallow me up and suck all my moisture, making me look like a dead mummy!"

"But you are a mummy." he deadpanned.

"Yes, but it could make me look like the ones from the movies, or trap me in the sand for a thousand years!"

"Well if we stick close and not get separated, we can make it out safe and sound." He said as Clea shook her head.

"No! Carry me!" She demanded as she held out her arms.

"Or I carry you, that works too." He said with a sigh. "What if I drop you though?"

"Don't." She said stubbornly.

"I'm just saying if I do, the sand won't swallow you up."

"Liar!"

"No, I'm not." He said as he picked her up. "I'm just telling you the truth. The sand here is too close and packed to suck down anything."

"I don't know, the sand can be weird." She said nervously as he started to walk off in a random direction. "Like when a sandstorm pops up, it makes sand go flying everywhere, making you unable to see, and then you get lost, end up farther than where safety is, and then there's the horrible creatures just waiting to strike…"

"Like you?" He asked jokingly.

"No! Like anubis, sandworms, and pharaohs!"

"Aw come on, you sure you're not one of them? You sure like to jump out and strike me whenever you wanna surprise me." He chuckled as she blushed.

"T-That's different!"

"I beg to differ." He said as he began to lose his balance. "Whoa, we're going down!"

"No! Stay balanced!" She cried as he fell down onto the sand. "NOOO! Get up, get up!"

"Sorry Cleo, but the heat is starting to get to me." He said as he let out a groan. "I feel so weak….going towards the light…."

"No! No you can't die! Not yet! Not here!" She cried out as she shook him as hard as she could. "WAKE UP!"

"Keep moving…." He groaned. "Carry me...across the sand…"

"I-I can't!" she spoke looking around. "I...It's so...vast and unending!"

"Do it….for me." He said as he 'fainted'.

"Wait! Wake up! Don't go into the light!" She cried out as she shook him. "Wake up!"

"Hey, should we end the simulation?" Whispered one of the workers from a control room.

"Possibly, if it goes on too long it might make her phobia worse."

"Alright, let's shut it down." He said as he hit a large red button. This in turn made the desert and sky glow before slowly dying down to reveal a huge expansive area, making Cleo jump and blink confused.

"Huh? What's going on, where did all the sand go?"

"Ugh, what happened, is the simulation over?"

"Simulation?" Cleo said only to look down to see her husband standing up. "You're alive!"

"Yeah, I wasn't in any real danger. There wasn't any real desert." he sighed.

"What do you mean?"

"This was all set up to help you overcome your fear of the sand, I hoped it would work and we would be done but unfortunately that didn't happen." he sighed with Cleo looking wide eyed and dropped her jaw.

"You mean….we were never in any danger?"

"Nope, not at a-ow!" He cried as Cleo slapped him.

"You jerk! I thought you were in real danger!" She shouted as she got up and marched towards the door. "This wasn't funny!"

"Hey, wait, come back!"

"You're sleeping on the couch!"

"Oh come on, I can explain!"

"Shut it!" She snapped while he flinched. "You made me think you died!"

"Bu-"

"Shut. It." She said as the camera panned away. It went over to another dome, except inside this one it looked like an active volcano with numerous lava pools.

"NOOOO! You've dragged me into hell!"

"Calm down! Just take a deep breath and-"

"HELLLLL!" Screamed a tall woman whose body looked like it was made out of black rocks and lava. "We're going to burn away into nothing and be ash in the wind!"

"Just calm down! This is completely safe!" Spoke the man behind her as she paced back and forth in terror.

"No, no, I could fall in and disappear forever!"

"No, you wouldn't, hell, to prove it I'll jump in!"

"Are you mad?!"

"Nope, now watch me go!" he said as he started walking towards one of the pools. 'This is a simulation so it won't hurt...right?'

"Stop! You'll die!" She cried as she ran after him, reaching out to grab him. "Don't leave me!"

"You'll thank me this later!" He spoke before he took a jump to one of the pools, but the girl jumped after and wrapped her arms around him, with both of them going right into it. "Wait, what?" He said as he felt hot lava cover his body, except it didn't feel painful, instead it felt pleasant.

"I can't believe you went and did that!" Scolded the lava golem. "You could have died!"

"But I di-"

"YOU COULD HAVE! This is why volcanoes are scary! All it takes is one dip and your whole body is gone!" She shuddered as she held him close. "I don't know what I would do if I lost you!"

"Uh….June? You realize something right?"

"Realize what?"

"We're in the lava right now."

"Wait, what?" She said as she looked around in confusion. She blinked before realization hit her and she started to scream. "AHHHHHH!"

"June, June, calm down, you're fine, and I'm fine too!"

"Oh god! Oh god! Oh god! We're gonna burn alive! And before I could even get you to knock me up while we were here!"

"June, calm down, if we were going to burn up we would have already, we're fine." He spoke before blinking. "Hey wait, you were gonna get me to what?"

"Uh… knock me up?" She blushed, still a bit nervous before getting an idea. "Wait….since we're not burning, maybe we could try it here and now."

"W-Wait, what?" He said as his clothes began to burn off of him, leaving him nude. "W-Wait! I don't think that's a good idea!"

"Why not? I think it's a great one~" she grinned while licking her lips. "I want you to give me a baby~"

"M-Maybe we should wait until we get back to our room?"

"Mmmmm….nope~" she shook her head. "It's nice and warm right here, which means your little friend is probably already getting ready~"

"H-Hey, what about the people watching us?!"

"Relax, it's just the two of us." She said as she pulled him closer. "Now let's get to work~"

"Wait! There are-mmph!" He started only to be silenced with a kiss as June moaned happily.

"So… wanna leave the lovebirds for a bit?"

"Works for me."

"Cool, let's go."

And with that the camera began to pan away once more to a tall man who was holding a short girl with wild red hair by the back of her overalls.

"No! Let go of me ya giant!"

"I'm not a giant, I'm average compared to regular humans." He said as he rolled his eyes. "And I don't know why you're complaining, I told you exactly what was going on, I asked you if you wanted to come and you agreed!"

"You tricked me!"

"No I didn't, I said we were going to a resort to help you face your fears, and that's what we're doing!"

"You left that out on purpose!"

"No, I didn't! You just weren't listening, all I said was 'We should go to a resort-' and you stopped listening and started packing!" He retorted while she squirmed in his grip. "I'm trying to help you grow as a person, so quit acting like a baby!"

"No! No no no no no!" She shouted as he groaned and headed towards a metal rectangular door that looked like an elevator that was manned by an employee. "I'm gonna stamp on your balls and squash them into juice!"

"Well if you don't stop threatening me I won't have sex with you for the rest of the year!"

"Ha! That's bull and you know it! I'm the only girl who can wring you dry because my cunt is so-hey wait, why are we going in there?" She asked as the doors opened up, revealing a very small elevator made of glass.

"Therapy, this elevator will take us two hundred feet underground and stay there for two hours, now you can either do this alone or I can come with you."

"...GET ME OUT OF HERE!" She screamed, flailing around harder and panicking as they entered while trying to gnaw on his arm. "I HATE YOU!"

"Take us down please." The man said as the employee nodded as the doors began to close.

"DON'T YOU DARE YOU BASTARD!" She shouted as the doors closed before the elevator began to head down, with lights on the walls to show dirt walls. "I'm gonna stuff and mount your heads for all this!" She shouted as she looked around frantically. "You're dead, dead! You hear me, deeeaaaad!"

"I'm holding you, you don't have to scream." Sighed the man while trying to rub her head. "I get you're spooked by small places-"

"I'm gonna chew your shins off and beat you with your own legs!"

"Ok now you sound like your cousin when she gets drunk. Sometimes dealing with a leprechaun sucks." He muttered.

"YOU ASSHOLE, I'M A DWARF, NOT ONE OF THOSE DRUNK IRISH FLOOZIES!"

"I was talking about your damn cousin!" He groaned as the elevator stopped. "Alright, it looks like we hit the bottom, I hope we don't get stuck."

"Not to worry sir, we make sure the elevator and tunnels are well taken care of every day, enjoy yourselves." said a voice from a speaker before he and the dwarf were left on their own.

Said dwarf looked around at the tunnel they were in and started shaking before moving back, but the man blocked her as the elevator doors closed. "L-Let me out of here, let me out!"

"No, this is for your own good!"

"Fuck you it is!" She shouted as he let her go, allowing her to move around on her own. "L-LET ME OUT OF HERE!"

"Look, you need to get used to this and get over your fear. I mean, what are you gonna do if you end up in a tight spot a normal person can't fit?"

"Get you to pull me out, duh!"

"I mean if I'm not there or around."

"Then I DIE! That's why I should never be anywhere that is too small!" She spoke while her breathing started to increase. "Oh god, I can already see the walls closing in, they're getting too close!"

"No, they're not, you're just overreacting."

"Don't you tell me I'm overreacting!" She shouted as she kicked the man's shins. "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

"Ow!" he jumped back and held the spot with a wince while finding her climbing up his back and started to tug on his hair. "OW! OW! Stop that!"

"No! I hate you, you're getting me killed! This is all your fault!" She yelled with a growl. "If I'm gonna die down here, you're coming with!"

"Ow! Just calm down! Augh, I should have just put you in a barrel!" He growled while the camera panned away to two more people on top near what looked like a barren area covered in dirt and mud.

"So, this is the place, are you ready to face your fear?"

"...not particularly, I wish to return to our room."

"Come on Jenine, remember what we talked about?"

"That I need to make peace with the fact that I was built from mud, but I'd rather not." Frowned a tall tan woman with blond hair and having arms made of stone with matching legs who hid behind the short boy with purple hair beside her. "I wanna go back and watch a movie instead."

"Hey, hey, we can do that later, let's go down and get a closer look." He said as he took her hand and began to lead her to the mud. She paled and stopped, causing him to suddenly stop as she stayed still like a statue.

"I-I-I'm not sure."

"Come on, it'll be fun, like a mud bath!"

"Which swallows people up and can suffocate them."

"But that won't happen to us, besides we went to that fun safety seminar before to tell us what to do if that does happen, remember?"

"I passed out, remember? Just imagining falling in and unable to get out was enough for me." She spoke while swaying back and forth and looking hollow from fear.

"No, no, it'll be ok, I promise. Look, I'll go first, ok?" He said as he let go of her hand and ran towards the mud.

"No don't!" She cried out as she looked on in horror as the boy jumped into the mud. "NOOO!"

Said boy went a little in the mud, but only up to his shins and didn't sink, letting him smile and spread out his arms. "See? It's not swallowing me up."

"I-It could any second! And you're ruining your shoes!"

"Shoes can be replaced any time, what's important is curing you of your fear." He said with a smile. "So what do you say, wanna join me?"

"...you won't let me go back until I do, will you?" She asked with a sigh.

"Nope! Now come on, join me!"

"Ok, but just for a second." She sighed as she cautiously walked towards him. She looked at the dirt and mud and had to keep herself from curling up as she got closer to the spot. 'Ok, you can do this, just step in, stay in for a few seconds then you can grab him and run back to the room.'

"Come on, you're almost there." He called with a smile. "Just a few inches more!"

"I...I can't do it!" She spoke, closing her eyes and stopping. "I can't step in it!"

"Oh, ok… oh! I can push you in, would that be ok?"

"No!"

"Huh? Then how are you going to get in the mud?"

"Can't I just put my finger in?"

"No, you have to jump in! Come on, you said you would do it!"

"I don't remember that."

"Come on, just close your eyes and jump."

"I don't know…"

"Come on, do it for me!" He called, only to groan when she did nothing. 'Ugh… great, she's freezing up….maybe if I pretend to be drowning she'll jump in to save me, but then she'll be overprotective for awhile…'

'I can't do it, I can't do it, I can't do it!' she thought, only to hear a growl behind her and slowly turned her head, and paled when she saw a panther looking at her while licking its lips. "Um… nice large predator?"

"Grrrr." it let out.

"N-Nice kitty?" She said as she looked around, wondering what she was supposed to do.

"Quick, jump in!"

"B-But the mud!"

"It's either mud or death!"

She looked between him, the large cat, and the mud, before seeing the panther move closer and yelped, diving into the mud. 'AUGH! MUD MUD MUD MUD!'

"You did it!" Cheered the boy only for her to grab him and start running. "Hey, where are we going?!"

"Home! Away from giant cats!" She shouted as she kept running, not stopping as the panther stopped.

"Grr?" it let out confused and looked at the mud before wandering off, while we pan away from the area and over to one of the rooms with the lights on and the tv turned on showing a zombie movie.

"Uh, babe? Why are we watching this?" Asked a woman with green skin and white hair along with tattered grey clothes.

"I felt in the mood for something gory today."

"Uh… do we have to? I'm not a huge fan of these movies, you know that." She spoke looking away when she saw a zombie bite into a screaming person and proceed to rip their throat out. "L-Let's watch something else, l-like a nice cartoon?"

"Ok… I think I know a good one, it's called the happy tree friends."

"Oh, well that sounds pretty fun." She said with a sigh of relief. "A nice, peaceful cartoon."

(Ten minutes later)

"B-B-Babe?" Stuttered the zombie, paralized in fear as she stared at the bloodsoaked bodies of cartoon characters. "W-W-What kind of cartoon is this?"

"Well, it's a special one that is all about extreme violence, bloodshed, gore and so on."

"Y-You know I hate blood!" She cried while slapping him in the chest and ducked under the covers. "You jerk!"

"Hey, hey, it's animated, it's not real blood." He said, trying to console her.

"It's still blood!" She moaned out from under the covers. "Turn it off now!"

"Come on, animated blood is no where the same as the real thing."

"It's still blood! Turn it off or we've through!"

"Come on, you need to get over your fear of the stuff sooner or later."

"No, I don't! I don't need blood!"

"You gotta learn to get over it sooner or later."

"Nuh-uh!"

"It's true and you know it."

"Liar!"

"Oh yeah? Well what if I got into an accident and had to go to the hospital?"

"T-Then I won't look and still drive you!"

"...you know how crazy that sounds?"

"Shut up, it'll work!"

"And if it didn't?"

"I...I don't know!"

"Exactly. That's why you need to get over your fear of blood and understand there's nothing wrong with it."

"I-It's gross, icky, and I don't like it! It could get me sick!" She denied as she shook her head.

"Babe, you're a zombie. Even if you did get sick, it's not like you could end up any worse than what a human has to deal with."

"I-I know, but I don't wanna risk it!"

He groaned and shook his head. "You're really stubborn, you know that?"

"I-I know, and I don't care!" She shouted as she shivered under the covers.

"Alright, fine, we'll watch something without any blood." He sighed as she poked her head out. "But this isn't over, ok?"

"If you think you can make me get used to blood, you're dreaming." She muttered as we cut to a man leading a taller woman towards a large door in the resort.

"So, what are we doing, and why did we have to dress up in workout clothes?" She asked with black fur on her arms and legs, with long black hair and glowing red eyes with two canine ears.

"Well, I thought it would be fun if we tried something new." Smiled the teen with brown hair and carrying a gym bag.

"If you say so…. Say, how about we go to the beach after this for some catch, huh?" she smiled. "We haven't done that in forever."

"Yeah, that sounds like fun Hannah." he said as he pushed open the doors to show a large boxing ring. "Come on, let's get into the ring."

"Huh? Why?" Hannah asked, suddenly not liking where this was going.

"For a little work out."

"Um, what do you mean?"

"Well, I was thinking we could practice some boxing."

"Boxing? You mean...with the gloves? And punching?"

"Yep, we can have fun, get a good workout in, all the good st- wait, where are you going?"

"Out of here." She spoke, turning around and speed walking away.

"Wait, stop!" He said as he quickly moved around her and blocked the door. "You didn't let me finish."

"Why? What more is there to talk about?!" She spoke with a frown. "I don't want to do any kind of punching, or kicking, or wrestling, or anything violent and you know it!"

"Why? You're sisters, mother and the rest of your family love it, and I think you might too."

"Because all violence due is cause pain! You know this, and you want me to box with you?"

"We'll be careful, plus I think it might make you feel good." he said as she let out a growl.

"I. Said. No."

"Ok, then you can leave, but you have to get through me first!" he spoke while getting into a fighting stance.

"Oh come on!" She groaned. "Why are you being so difficult?!"

"Because I love you and want to help you!"

"Then don't make me fight you!"

"If it helps you, then I'll do it."

"That's it!" She said as she rushed forward and quickly pulled him into a tight hug that lifted him off the ground. "I'll move you myself without violence."

"Hey, let go of me and fight me!"

"No, now calm down, we're going to the beach." She huffed before she walked down the hall without letting go.

"No!" He groaned as they passed a couple heading to a new room.

"Ok Kitty, you ready for what you're about to face?"

"No, not really."

"Aw, come on, I'm sure you can do it, you're awesome, remember?"

"Well you're not wrong. I AM pretty amazing." She said, the woman having purple hair with a pair of cat ears and tail in a pink dress. "I'm not sure I wanna do this though…"

"It'll be alright, you can get through it like that." He said as they reached a small vault door. "You ready to go inside? It'll lock you in for half an hour, ok?"

"Ok." She said as he opened the door to show a small room with a window in it so she could see outside. She crawled in and faced the open door. "Ok, lock me in."

"Ok, the mice will be let in as soon as the door closes."

"Wait, MICE? I agreed to one mouse, ONE!" She yelled out before the door closed making her scratch at it. "Hey, open up! More than one mouse is too much!"

"It's fine, just relax!" He called from a speaker as a pipe was lowered into the room. "They're all calm and harmless, they won't cause you any trouble."

"LIAR!" She cried as she began to hear squeaks before a few white mice began to fall out of the pipe and onto the floor. Her eyes widened while her tail puffed out and let out a hiss as the small rodents looked around as she pounded on the door. "LET ME OUT!"

"Calm down, it's just a dozen or so harmless lab mice."

"A DOZEN!? You lying bastard! When I get out of here I'm clawing up everything in our apartment!"

"Hey, calm down, it'll be fine! It's not like it's that many." He said nervously.

She hissed before she tensed up when she saw more mice pour out and see her before moving over. "No, get away from me, back, back! You shall not give me the plague!"

"They're not filled with any disease, they've all had their shots."

"LIAR! Ack, don't touch me, fear me, I'm an alpha predator!" She screamed feeling them climb up her body making her try to swat them off.

"Hey, don't hurt them!"

"Tell them that!" She cried out as one crawled onto her head. "AAAHHHH! Get it off, get it off!"

"Just try and pet them! They actually like meeting new people."

"WELL I DON'T!" She yelled before yelping when she felt some of them rub up against her tail. "S-Stop that! Quit it!"

'I wonder if she'll be mad when she learns that I personally bought the mice to be our pets?' He wondered while the catgirl yelped and started laughing when she felt some of them start moving into her clothes.

"I HATE THIS!" She cried out as we cut over to another couple. Said couple showing a gruff looking man with a beard and hat, sitting next to a woman with short white hair, horns, and a cow tail, standing in a field with the woman hiding behind him.

"C-Can we go back to the resort now?"

"No."

"B-But they have an all you can eat buffet, doesn't that sound better than this?"

"No."

"T-They also have an open bar?"

"Honey, I said no." He said with a sigh. "Now c'mon, the cow's over there, go over and give her a pet."

"B-But it's staring at me." She whispered while looking at a cow that was calmly grazing.

"Moooo."

"Good, then it knows you're coming, so it won't be scared. Now go." He spoke moving away and gestured her to the cow.

"B-B-B-But…"

"Do it or I won't cuddle you tonight."

"What?! You can't do that!"

"Two nights now, get going."

"Ah! So mean! Ok, ok, I...I'm going." She huffed before moving over to the bovine slowly with a gulp while said cow turned its head. "N-Nice cow?"

"Mooo." It said as it began to lumber over to her.

'Keep it together, don't freak out.' She thought as she stood her ground until the cow was right next to her. She slowly brought her arm out near it and bit her lip.

"Mooo?"

'J-Just put your hand on it's head then you can run away!' She moved her hand closer and on the cow's head and carefully rubbed it. 'Ok, you did it, now run away!'

"Mooo." it let out before moving closer, making her freeze up as it rubbed it's head against her chest.

"H-Hey, what are you doing?"

"It must think you're another cow and wants to try your milk."

"W-WHAT?! Why?! This isn't a child!"

"No, but you do got the parts for one of their own."

"C-COW'S DON'T HAVE BOOBS THOUGH!" She screamed while feeling it's head nuzzle between them, making her blush and freeze up. "H-Hey! Quit it!"

"Do you want some help?"

"Yes!"

"Alright I'll get her away….after a few more minutes of this. This looks pretty kinky."

"A-Asshole! You're so mean!"

"And a bit horny." He chuckled as we cut to a couple on a massive bed. One of whom was a blue haired girl with horns, wings, and a spade tipped tail.

"So….here we are...on this bed...together...all alone."

"Yeah, alone together."

"Yeah….so….wanna jump on the bed?" She suggested with a forced smile.

"Felicia….you brought me here, you said you wanted to get over your fear, but if you don't want to do this I won't force you, ok?" Spoke the boy with red hair while patting her on the back. "I know it's something that's wrong to force on someone, and if you wanna back out that's fine."

"No, I...I want to do it, I really do but...I don't know, won't it hurt? A-And what if it becomes all I can think of?"

"Well I've heard it hurts at first if you have a hymen." he pointed out. "But as long as we do it right it shouldn't hurt after that, if you want we can watch the safety video again, or we could go back to the classes?"

"...let's watch the safety video."

"Sure thing Felicia." he said as he picked up a remote as she cuddled next to him.

"...Thank you for being patient with me."

"It's what a boyfriend is supposed to do after all." He said as he kissed her forehead. "I'd have to be a pretty shitty one to try and force you to do something you didn't want to, even if you agreed to it beforehand." He said as we cut to a new couple that was fighting outside a chapel.

"No! Forget it! Not gonna happen!"

"C'mon, get in there!" He groaned. "You said you wanted to talk to your family!"

"Yeah, over a phone!" Groaned the woman who had blond hair done up in a bun with white wings and wearing a white dress while the tall man tried to pull her to the building.

"This is quicker, besides you need to enter one if we ever want to get married!"

"Fuck that! I'll get married in a courthouse!" She growled tugging back and dragging him backwards. "I'm not going anywhere near that building!"

"Come on, just get in here, sit here for five minutes then we can leave!"

"Never!"

"There's nothing to be scared of! Heaven is a beautiful place!"

"It's so damn stuffy! It has all these rules, and clouds, and that annoying angel Gabriel!" She listed off with a shudder. "It's like once you go there you become all chipper, happy, and so...so….giddy!"

"So? How is that a bad thing?"

"It's creepy as hell!" She growled. "It makes me feel like they're in a cult!"

"They're in heaven! Look, just get in here, this is a chapel, not heaven!"

"NO! What if they appear and try to drag me back up there?!" She spoke with a nervous sweat. "I'll be forced into a cheery chorus! Singing repetitive music that's been done to death! And don't even get me started on rolling around on those clouds! I know they're soft, but they're TOO soft!"

"And you'd be separated from me too." The man said, making her freeze. "Wait, did I just say that out loud?"

"Yes!" She cried out as she redoubled her struggles. "Oh god, they'll take me from you! And erase my memories and probe me!"

"You're thinking of aliens!" he spoke while she slowly dragged him away. "Come on! Your mom would be ecstatic to talk to you again!"

"No! NONONO! She just wants me to go back to heaven!"

"Which means paradise for both of us!"

"No! Only souls go in and you're fleshy and alive!"

"But I'll be a soul when my time comes." He sweatdropped before tripping and fell on his stomach as she started to really drag him.

"THAT'S NOT GUARANTEED! OK, I'M GONNA MAKE YOU IMMORTAL!"

"That's just gonna cause complications!"

"I WON'T LOSE YOU TO A DEMON BITCH IN HELL!"

"That's just insulting if you think I'd go there!" He cried out incredulously while getting up and suddenly managed to let go, making her fall backwards before he moved over and picked her up bridal style and ran to the chapel. "You'll thank me for this later!"

"NOOOO!" She cried out in horror.

"I'll take any punishment afterwards, but I'm gonna beg on my hands and knees if that's what it convinces your mom to guarantee me being an angel, just to make you feel better!"

"No! We are not going to heaven! She'll take it literally!" She cried out as there was a sudden flash of light. "NO! Mark, where's my shiv, they aren't taking me without a fight!"

"I tossed it away in the closet back home!"

"Noooooo!" She cried out as the light died down to show a tall woman standing there, looking like her, but with her blond hair flowing down and actually covering her eyes. "Let go of me, I have to get out of here now!"

"Oh my, is that you Mary? No really is it? My hair is in my line of sight." Said the woman as she moved her hair to get a better look. "Ah, it is you, have you had all your fun, are you ready to come home now?"

"Fuck that!" growled the angel making the tall woman gasp. "I'm not getting stuck doing the same stuff over and over!"

"Such vulgarity! Clearly your time on earth has corrupted you, you have to come home at once so you can be purified!"

"Try it and I'll chew your wings off!"

"Aw, you're so cute when you act tough, and you know you can't beat me." She chuckled.

"Easy there Mary." Spoke Mark with a sweatdrop. "Hi, I'm Mark, and I'm Mary's fiance."

"Fiance?" The woman asked, freezing as she got a good look at him. "Mary's too young for that!"

"I'm old enough to get hitched old lady!"

"O-Old lady?! That's it, you're coming home right now! I shouldn't have let you come here, I should have sent the archangels after you the second you passed the pearly gates!"

"See Mark! I told you! Like a cult!"

"We are not a cult!" Snapped the woman as she snapped her fingers as Mary floated from Mark's grasp.

"Whoa, hey, what are you doing?!"

"You've forced my hand. I'm bringing you back home right now."

"Whoa, what?! You're taking her back to heaven against her will?!"

"It's for her own good."

"Let me go you old hag!"

"Hey, kidnapping someone isn't very heavenly, now let her go you fake angel!"

"FAKE ANGEL!?" She exclaimed in disgust. "FAKE?! I AM NOT A FAKE ANGEL!"

"Then why are you trying to force her against her will? If you're her mother you'd hear her out and try to come to an understanding!" He shouted as she narrowed her eyes. "If anything you sound like a devil, not an angel!"

"How DARE you!" She growled. "I am no devil!"

"Then prove it! Put her down, let her talk, and hear what your own child has to say."

"But she has been corrupt-"

"No, she just has different views, now let her go and prove that you're an angel!"

She stared at him and back at her daughter before sighing and lowered her down on the ground. "Very well then."

"Good, now, Mary, do you want to say something t-whoa!" Mark said as Mary bolted forward, grabbed him and booked it outside the chapel.

"HEY! Get back here young lady!"

"KISS MY ASS OLD HAG!"

"Mary! Running won't help!" Cried out the man.

"THEN WHY IS IT WORKING?!" She yelled as her mother flew after them. "WE'RE GETTING MARRIED IN A COURTHOUSE LIKE I SAID!"

"WHAT?! You can't get married there! You need to get married in the eyes of god in his house! A proper church!" Called her mother with horror.

"Forget it!" Mary stuck her tongue out and grabbed the bottom of her dress and yanked it up, revealing she had no underwear on, causing Mark and her mom to go wide eyed, but he turned red while her mother covered her eyes. "Get a load of that you old hag! I don't need any of that annoying stuff you call panties!"

'Maybe her mom was right when she said Mary was corrupted, but she's MY corrupt angel.'

"Goodness gracious! You put some-AHH!" Let out the angel when she flew smack dab into a tree and groaned before sliding onto the ground. "Ow…"

"Ha! Bye bye hag!" Cackled Mary with a grin.

While that went on, we cut over to one more couple at what looked like a kennel filled with dogs, all of them playing or napping.

"So, honey, do you see any you li- honey? Where are you?" Called a boy with a baseball cap on his head.

"I-I'm not going in!" Cried a woman with dog ears, furry arms and legs with a dog tail and normal eyes as she hid behind a tree away from the kennel.

"What? But you said you would! And remember, the nice lady said that all the dogs here are well trained, they have no previous history of aggression, they're all good doggies!"

"That's what they all say, but it's a trick!"

"But it isn't this time… look, how about I pick out a nice cute puppy, ok?" He smiled. "I'll go get him, and bring him to you so you can see he just wants to play."

"N-No! He'll bite me like the big mean dog did all those years ago!"

"Trust me, it won't be so bad."

"Y-You don't know that!" She spoke before seeing him go inside. "Wait! Don't do it!"

"Aw, there's a cute baby husky here, he's so fluffy!"

She shivered, imagining a blood thirsty husky looming over her, making her curl up against the tree and broke in a nervous sweat.

"Ok, I'm bringing him out, ok?"

"Don't you dare!" She cried as the boy left the kennel holding a small puppy that looked more like an extremely fluffy teddy bear than it did a puppy.

"Arf arf!"

"I-It smells me and wants my blood!" She cried out as he held it out near her as it panted with an innocent look.

"No, it doesn't, all this little guy wants is cuddles and kibble." He said as she shivered nervously. "Come on, give him a hug."

"N-No! It'll go for my jugular!" She cried as he moved the puppy towards her until it was right next to her.

"Come on, you know you want to~"

"N-No, I don't!" She said as the husky puppy let out a small yip and licked her cheek. "AH! It's wanting to taste me!"

"No, it's showing you love." He spoke while the puppy licked across her face as she stiffened up while feeling it's cold nose against her.

"A-A-A…..AHhH!"

"Arf?" it tilted it's head as she gulped.

"O-Ok, I see the puppy, now can you put it back?"

"Nope, how about you give it a hug?" he beamed with her dropping her jaw.

"W-What?!"

"Give it a hug, come on, hug the puppy."

"No way!"

"Come on, hug it."

"No!"

"Hug it."

"Nuh uh!"

"Uh huh."

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yuh-huh!" he spoke before putting the puppy in her arms as it's tail wagged. "See? He wants to be held."

"N-No, take it away, put it away! Please!" she spoke while trying to give it back, but he backed up quickly.

"Come on, just look into his eyes."

"Noooo! If I do he'll hypnotize me!"

"If you do it, I'll make you that special kibble and bacon ice cream sandwich."

"...promise? With peanut butter on top?"

"Pinky promise."

"...fine, but if he bites me I'll never forgive you!" She spoke before looking at the puppy and right into his eyes. She saw how happy it was and how full of love and glee they were. 'So cute…'

"Arf arf!" it barked before trying to lean up closer and rubbed it's head against her cheek.

"So, what do you think? Do you still see it as a scary dangerous animal?"

She held her hand up and slowly started to scratch the puppy behind the ear, which it leaned into and started panting more.

"Well?" The boy asked with a grin.

"It's….it's….it's…."

"It's what?"

"So….CUTE!" She let out, hugging the puppy and giggling feeling it lick her. "It's not scary in the least! His nose is so cold, and his fur is so fluffy!"

"Yeah, I knew you would see it that way, he's just as cute as you are." Smiled the boy while she rubbed her nose against the puppy's.

"Oh who's a good puppy? Who's a good puppy? You are! Yes, you, you!"

"Yeah, he certainly is, huh?"

"Yeah, I can't wait to bring him home!"

"Uh…. well… he isn't coming home."

"What?!" she let out with wide eyes.

"Well, yeah, he doesn't belong to us, he belongs to the resort."

"But look at him! He's adorable!"

"Yes, I know, bu-"

"And he just wants to come home with me, I just know it!" she held the puppy up. "Just listen."

"Arf arf arf!"

"See?! Why are you trying to split up our family?!"

"I-It's not that." He held his hands up. "I'm just being honest."

"Well I don't like it, and Henry Jr is coming home with me!"

"You named him after me?"

"Of course, he has your eyes."

"Well, thanks, but you still can't keep him."

She pouted along with the puppy, both their eyes getting big as they whimpered making him tense up.

"C-Come on honey, it's not like I don't want to, it's just-"

"WAAAAHHHH! You hate me!" She bawled as the puppy began to howl in misery as well.

"No no no! I swear it's not like that! I'd love to bring him home, honestly!"

"T-Then do it!" She cried. "I want my puppy!"

"Ok! I'll go talk to the owners and see if we can adopt him, just please don't cry!"

"T-Thank you!" She said as she began to stop crying.

"Just please no more crying, I hate seeing you sad." He said as he pulled her into a hug.

"Ok, I'll stop, now go make sure Henry Jr comes home with us." She spoke hugging back while the puppy licked at his cheek.

"I'll do my best." He said as he turned to leave. 'Ok, how do I convince a resort to part with a well trained support animal?'

"Did you hear that Henry Jr? Daddy's going to bring you home with us."

"Arf!" the puppy said happily.

The camera panned away and back over to the bunny girl and her husband with smiles.

"And there you have it, another round of happy couples."

"So come on down if you need some help dealing with your fear, or need a nice place to spend a relaxing period with the one that drives you wild."

With that relaxing music began to play as the screen faded to black.


	16. Chapter 16

List of oneshots part 4

chapter 16

The characters of Star Wars read the script for the Last Jedi and...give their reactions.

Author's note: If you like the movie, don't read this. This is just opinion wise so don't get uppity for a different opinion than your own. If you can't handle someone hating on your movie, then you have to realize this is life.

Series: Star Wars

xxxxxxxxxxxx

We find ourselves at a studio, a studio that was working on getting ready for the next big film for a great sci-fi franchise, Star Wars. Numerous stage hands and workers were getting things put together while you could see a few real Stormtroopers and Ewoks at the catering table, with some troopers practicing aim with their blasters with a few imperial officers walked to their trailers as we zoom in on the main studio.

"So, you guys ready for the next film?" Asked a girl in a white sweater and jeans. This was Rey, the main protagonist in the new franchise.

"You betcha." Smiled Finn, Rey's ally and former stormtrooper while they sat in chairs reserved for themselves. "I could hardly sleep a wink last night when I heard we were gonna get a look see at the scripts."

"Yeah, I can't wait to see them, I wonder if I'm going to get some major character development. In the last movie I had just killed my father and suffered a horrible defeat, I wonder if I'll become more serious and stop acting like a kid?" Asked Kylo Ren/Ben Solo, the main antagonist.

"I just hope we get that big battle scene. I mean we built up some kind of rivalry in the first, so it makes sense if we show more scene with us." Spoke a stormtrooper with silver armor and a cape, Captain Phasma gesturing between her and Finn. "I wanna do some awesome moves and not be seen like a Boba Fett copy."

"Well I can't wait for the epic space battles, I mean they made sure to point out how I was the resistance's best pilot, they're obviously setting up for an epic space battle, full of fast ships, dogfights and so on." Said a guy in a leather coat, this being Poe Dameron, the ace pilot of the resistance.

"And I can help show off my great techniques to Rey here. I mean I learned from Ben, so it makes sense I do the same and teach her." Smiled Luke Skywalker while adjusting his robe. "I also look forward to their reason I was hiding, and I wonder if they'll show me training other jedi as well."

"Yes, and I can't wait to see how the resistance differs from the rebellion, I wonder if they'll show other alien worlds with our allies on them now that we have a larger budget?" An older woman asked with a smile, this being Leia Organa/Skywalker, the general of the resistance.

"All I know is that whatever comes next will be unique, well thought out and well coordinated." Smiled Rey before a man in a snazzy suit and sunglasses walked over with a smile.

"There they are, my big stars up bright and early, just the way I like it."

"Well when you told us we'd be looking at the scripts early, can you blame us?" Smiled Finn.

"No I cannot, so are you all excited for this brand new chapter in Star Wars? We're throwing out the book and making it new, bold and modern!"

"Uh...ok, so where are the scripts?" Rey asked curiously.

"Right here." He snapped his fingers before a man ran over holding them and started handing them out. "Now first off before you read them, I wanna introduce you to two new faces we're bringing in who are gonna play a huge part."

"Well that's to be expected." nodded Kylo. "So who's joining the cast? What are they bringing to the story?"

"Well first off, say hello to Rose Tico." he gestured to an asian woman who walked over with a smile.

"Hi everyone, just wanna say I'm really excited to be here and hope we can all get along." She said with a small nod. "I'm Rose Tico, and let me just say it's an honor to be in this movie."

"She's gonna be a mechanic for the resistance, and will be playing a big part with Finn here."

"Sweet, I like it already." Nodded the man.

"And next up is Amilyn Holdo." Said the man as a middle aged woman with bright dyed hair entered the room. "She will be a close friend of Leia and will play a pivotal role in the film."

"Hi, really excited to be here." She waved with a smile. "Sorry, I'm a little nervous, first real film I'm gonna be in."

"That's fine, this is a large film, but just try your best and I'm sure everything will be fine." Leia said with a smile.

The two took their seats and got the scripts.

"Ok! I'll leave you kids alone and let you read up on what's gonna be going on. I'll be back later when we're ready to film." Chuckled the man as he left the room.

"Ok, so, let's see where this movie will take us, I personally think we'll get a timeskip." Finn said as he opened up his script.

(After they were done)

"Uh….is….is this real?" Asked Rey as all of them were silent and flipped through her script. "It can't be real, it just can't."

"No… this can't be… they completely flipped my character from a cool pilot to a cocky guy?" Poe asked in confusion. "Also, Leia, can you use the force? How are you flying in space?"

"I have no idea." She spoke, shaking her head. "I mean sure me and Luke are compatible with it, but I never did any training on screen. This is going to come out of nowhere to avid fans who've watched every single movie. All I've done is lead the rebels and resistance and use blasters. I don't even know if you can use the force like that if it's SPACE, as in, no air around me."

"Also speaking of force training, what did they do to me?! This isn't Luke Skywalker, this is not the man who saw good in Darth Vader, a man who has slaughtered thousands if not hundreds of thousands!" Spoke Luke flipping through his script with a frown. "I mean, I go to a complete remote planet, just to die, but in the first movie I literally gave clues on WHERE I was! If I wanted to do that, why would I give someone a chance to find me? And just throwing my lightsaber away? At the very least I'd hold onto it, even if I WAS ready to die!" He said as he shook his head. "Also it wasn't even originally mine, it was my father's...also HOW did they get it, do they explain that here?"

"I'm not sure they do." Spoke Finn rubbing his head. "But….oh lord, what even is this? Me and Rose? We literally do a side plot that is completely dumb and pointless. I mean, we look for a codebreaker, can't find him, but just happen to find another who betrays us? That's….really convenient."

"Yeah, I may be new to Star Wars, but is pushing a message this hard normal? Also why is every other word that comes out of my mouth a lecture? Also me and you kiss at the end after I stop you from sacrificing yourself to save everyone in a way that by every right should have killed us and gets everyone else killed. I've known you for less than a day, also what is my game plan after that, how did I expect for us to get back to the base in one piece? Even if we survived we should have broken some bones, right?" Asked Rose looking confused.

"I feel like I'm meant to be in the wrong when I try to take control of the ship from you." Spoke Poe looking at Holdo. "I mean, you know the plan, but you never tell me, and yet, the way this is written sounds like YOU'RE in the right for not telling us vital information that we need in a crucial time. What sense does that make?"

"None from what I can tell, and I personally think you're right, even if the excuse here was that I thought there might be a traitor I should have told you that, at the very least it makes my plan to not tell anyone somewhat logical, right?" Holdo asked in confusion.

"And even if there was, wouldn't I already have an idea on who?" Asked Leia. "I mean I know everyone more, and I've helped lead the rebels during the original trilogy, so wouldn't I be able to sniff a traitor out without any trouble?"

"No, apparently you're in a coma after using the force, only to suddenly wake up and stun me when I try to take over the ship… personally Holdo I gotta say, in this script it kind of seems like you would be the mole."

"Yeah, I mean you'd make the most sense. Put in charge, people have to take your word, and you could keep your lips sealed if someone bugged you with the others believing the one doing that is the traitor if you said it. That'd actually have been a cool twist." Admitted Rose. "Heck, it'd be a great twist if it went down that I was the traitor, but….is it just me, or does it feel like where me and Finn go and what it's like feel like some kind of…..subtle jab?"

"It's definitely a jab, but this is anything but subtle, this is more or less bashing war profiteers, and while that's not a bad thing that should never take up a quarter of the movie, am I right?" Spoke Finn. "Plus, I wasn't gonna bring this up because it might be a push, but does it also come across as anti-white? I mean all of them are like that, when wouldn't it make sense to show all kinds of species? I mean this IS Star Wars."

"Yeah, like bringing in some faces from the Trade Federation, they would have been great cameos." Spoke Luke. "But also isn't it weird that after they fail their mission at first instead of trying again they agree to let this extremely sketchy guy who's also in jail with them do the job?"

"Maybe they were trying to make him out to be Han."

"We all know no one can do Han like Han does." Spoke Leia while nodding over to said man at the nearby buffet.

"Yeah, and then they act surprised when he eventually betrays them? This guy is clearly a criminal, we have no idea where his allegiance lie and yet they brought him on a critical mission that could determine the fate of the resistance?"

"That's nothing. They literally just….ruined me." Spoke Rey shaking her head. "The second movie I'm in, the very second, and they made me so overpowered it's not even funny. I can get some jedi are prodigies, but I'm up against Luke, THE Luke Skywalker, and I'm already showing how to use a lightsaber easily, beating him, and can use the force like a master? I've never done any training like that. Hell, that's just a reminder of what I did in the first one against Kylo, and all I knew what to do was use a staff!"

"Agreed, also apparently we're force connected now? And it seems like they're trying to push some sort of romance between us, I've spent not even half a day with you and most of that time was dedicated to torture and attempted murder." Kylo Ren said as he looked at the script. "Also did you see the part with you and that pit?"

"Yeah, that one really had me confused. I mean, is it meant to be a set up for the next movie?"

"Um… I don't think so, I think they're trying to say anyone can use the force, even if you aren't from a big powerful family like the Skywalkers I think."

"Well the force does expand out to ever living thing, so technically it's true, but realistically not everyone CAN use the force." Spoke Luke. "I mean if that was the case, the war that went on would have gone completely different, and there would have been no need to make clones."

"Yeah, plus it seems like they forgot about even if you're gifted in the force you need to train hard and long to be truly proficient in it, it isn't just like flipping a switch. Also It seems like Rey doesn't even finish the three lessons you were teaching her Luke." Kylo Ren said with a frown.

"Thank you! I think they just wrote me into being a mary sue." Groaned Rey. "I mean, I'm alright with being shown as a badass, but this? It's like I could just go up to the new order and beat them without any of this."

"Yeah, also what is up with the fight you and Kylo have with the supreme leader's guards? It seems like they don't do that good a job, also why are they attacking, who are they supposed to be defending? If anything Kylo Ren is their new boss, right?"

"Yeah, I mean they just saw Snoke die, albeit from me, but I could easily tell them to stop." remarked Kylo. "What did they even expect to happen? If Snoke, the person they built up in the first movie as being so powerful can't even sense a lightsaber near him before dying, what chances would they have? Or are they meant to be suicidal?"

"I don't know, but why is there a large flammable curtain in the room, that thing is apparently capable of going up like a firework, something you don't want on a spaceship." Hondo said with a frown. "Also, speaking of spaceships, what is this about me sacrificing myself to destroy the giant ship? If that was possible why didn't we have one of the smaller ships evacuate and then do that so we could escape?"

"I'm more confused on HOW it worked?" Spoke Phasma. "I mean, if hyperspace could do THAT much damage, then why wasn't it shown before? Why not use it more often? Why not have several ships do it to each death star? That would cost less and take away a lot of tension."

"Yeah, and….god I could just keep going on, this script is horrible, who wrote this?" Finn groaned.

"I don't know, but this better be a joke." Spoke Leia with a frown. "It's full of so many holes swiss cheese would be green with envy, just raises more questions than it answers."

"Yeah, and if they make this movie it'll be the end of Star Wars, hell the prequels never got this bad!" Luke groaned.

"Maybe when the producer gets back we can talk it over with him." Spoke Finn. "I mean, it just needs some fix up here and there, nothing too big….right?"

"No, if this is going to be good it's gonna need a complete rewrite, or at the very least major changes." Said Poe as the door opened up.

"So kids, I take it you finished reading the script?" Asked the producer with a big grim. "Is it movie gold or what?"

All of them looked at each other with Luke standing up.

"Actually, we feel it might have….problems."

"Oh? What kind of problems? Just some small stuff that needs tweaking?"

"Actually, it needs a rewrite." Spoke up Rey with a sigh. "It's….to be honest? It's a disaster."

"A disaster?" The producer asked with a frown.

"Yeah, it's filled with nothing but plot holes and stuff we think fans are just gonna hate."

"Yeah, we can't in good conscience make this, I'm sorry." Rose said as she shook her head.

The producer sighed and crossed his arms. "Alright, I'm gonna be real with you people. It doesn't really matter what your conscious says about it. This movie WILL go on, with all of you in it."

"Wait, what? But this script is horrible, you have to change it, the fans won't like this."

"FUCK THE FANS!" He snapped while looking pissed. "Those bunch of pimply faced mama boys can kiss our ass! They don't know jack on what they want. We had writers who knows what they're doing, and this is a new story going on that they're gonna learn to love."

"But this isn't Star Wars! Thi-"

"It doesn't matter what it is, because you all signed contracts to make this film!" He cut him off and got up in Luke's face. "Besides, an old geezer like you only has so much use before getting replaced by that hot piece of ass over there, so shut up, do what you're told, and be grateful." He said as he pointed over to Rey.

"Excuse me, but what did you just call me?!"

"You heard me! And you just shut up, you're getting the fast track to being the new face of Star Wars, you should be applauding us for making this movie!"

"This movie is trash!" Spoke up Finn with a glare. "It makes no sense, spits on established lore and physics, not to mention it's like someone's personal fanfiction that was given a budget! And not any good kind!"

"Look, Star Wars is over fourty years old, it's an old franchise that needs to go in a brand new direction, and this is that direction." Spoke the man taking a deep breath and smiled. "Besides, consider yourself lucky. You get to be in the spotlight as one of the few black guys in this franchise."

"...the hell you just say?"

"You heard me, this franchise is as stale and white as an old piece of bread! There's only two black guys in this universe so we need to diversify, first you and Rose so we can get the african american and asian demographic and a few movies down the line we'll just keep adding on and improving."

"Whoa whoa whoa, you can't just push diversity in a movie for diversity's sake, you have to introduce it naturally, now me, that made sense, but you can't just say you added us just to sell more tickets!"

"Of course we can! We're motherfucking Disney! We can do whatever the hell we want." He spoke, only for the studio doors to slam open, making them turn. "Hey, who are you two?"

"We're here to fix this shitshow."

"You've been replaced." Remarked one, who was literally covered in a black cloak as they walked inside. "You won't have to worry about being fired, we'll just say it to your face."

"You can't fucking fire me, I work for Kathleen Kennedy!"

"Hmm, good point. Jack, what do you have to say to that?" asked the person to the first one, who looked like a scientist.

"I say we banish him to Tatooine."

"Works for me." Grinned the cloaked figure rubbing his hands. "You get tons of time off it seems, congrats! Hope you packed sunscreen."

"Wai-" The producer said, only for the cloaked figure to clap his hands and have him disappear.

The others went wide eyed and jumped to their feet while the scientist looking one cleared his throat.

"Now then, I am here to say you will not be making this dumpster fire of a movie."

"W-Who are you two?" asked Rose.

"He's Jack, I'm Yui, and this script doesn't exist." spoke Yui snapping his fingers before said scripts burnt away into ash while he pulled out new ones from his sleeves. "Consider us fans of your work who have come here to prevent a horrible disaster from happening to you and the Star Wars franchise."

"Yes, and while it may be too late in our universe we can save yours."

"So read these and be warned, it might make you orgasm with joy." Joked Yui handing the scripts out to them.

They hesitantly looked at the scripts, only to widen their eyes in amazement.

"This… now this is the Star Wars I know."

"It's….It's beautiful."

"Yep, now you go out and you make a film worthy of being called Star Wars."

"And use some stuff from the comics, it can be very useful."

"And the old source material as well, the fans will like that."

"Wow, all of this is a movie I can get behind." Smiled Rey. "Thank you two."

"No problem, now go make us proud." Jack said as he and Yui disappeared.

"Who were those two?" Asked Kylo.

"I don't know, but what I do know is we've got a real movie to work on."


	17. Chapter 17

List of oneshots part 4

chapter 17

A little insight on a fourway relationship.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

We find ourselves at what looked like a normal house.

But then, on the inside, we go to a bedroom where a red headed man was cuddling 3 women in bed. 1 woman on the right had short blue hair, and E cup breasts, the one right next to her had long blonde hair and D cup breasts, the one who was on the left had curly pink hair and cup breasts. The alarm clock woke all 4 and they were headed straight for the shower. The 3 women kissing the man as they lathered him up. After the shower we now see the man and pink haired woman getting ready to leave.

"Sorry Jade." Said the red haired man. "I wish I could enjoy your breakfast, but me and Kiki gotta jet or else the boss will yell at us."

"It's fine Elias, I know you'll be home to enjoy my dinner later, right?" Asked the blue haired woman.

"Don't worry Jade, I'll make sure our husband gets home." Said Kiki. "Just make sure Mindy doesn't spoil her appetite with snacks again."

"Hey! I don't always do that." Said the blonde woman.

That got her raised eyebrows from the other three.

"Shouldn't you 2 be going now?" Said Mindy.

"Fine, but make sure." Said Kiki.

"As long as you make sure." Said Jade.

And with that, Elias and Kiki left.

"So Jade...I've had a question ever since we all married Elias."

"Oh?"

"I didn't really wanna bring it up, but...promise you won't get offended."

"What is it?"

"I was just wondering, if we're married to Elias, doesn't that mean we're also married to each other? Like, if we were to kiss, would it be a married kiss between us?"

"Huh...that's a good question."

"Can we try?"

Mindy and Jade blushed.

"Who makes the first move?"

"I will, since I'm the one who brought up the question." Said Mindy. She reached out and held Jade's cheeks with a gulp before leaning in.

Both closed their eyes and Mindy leaned in. Their lips met with both of them feeling a spark.

Both of them couldn't believe it, it was the exact same spark felt when they kissed Elias for the first time. Maybe even stronger. They kept their lips together and started to moan while it started to get more heater. They got up, Mindy then pushed Jade to the wall and started getting more into it! They moaned more with their tongues going and rubbing against each other.

Mindy and Jade then grabbed each other's asses, making them moan even more. That's when they lost their balance and tipped over, both heads hitting a cabinet! They snapped out of it as they held their heads.

"Ooh...okay, maybe we gotta practice on the couch before trying to make out on a wall." Said Jade.

"I...ow, really liked that, what about you Jade?" Asked Mindy.

"I admit, it was really good...we're not cheating on Elias are we?"

"Let's text him." Said Jade.

So they did, and he replied "hot."

"Phew, looks like we have nothing to worry about."

"So...um..."

"Yeah..." both were blushing.

"Wanna do it?" Mindy suggested.

"In bed or on the couch?"

"The couch, and since today is your day off..."

"All day fuck fest?" Asked Jade.

"Yes!"

"You're on!"

They threw off their clothes as they walked to the couch! They resumed making out while groping the others chest.

'Who'd have thought? Me and Jade, opposites naked and kissing on the couch.' Thought Mindy.

They were very opposite, Mindy was lazy despite having a job, and Jade was hardworking, always making the food when she's on her days off.

Mindy and Jade then started sliding their hands down to start rubbing each other's pussies. They were getting more and more hot making their thighs rub against each other.

'I wish I was a futa, so I could get Jade/Mindy pregnant!' Both thought.

Soon they broke the kiss and began to finger the other with eagerness.

"Mmmh, you're so good at this, almost like you were planning it!" Said Jade.

"Mmmh, no, I was a chronic masturbater before you all came into my life." Replied Mindy.

"Ungh, that explains this loose feeling."

"Hey! I'm still here you know."

"I know." Then Jade kissed Mindy's cheek. "But don't worry, I'll still love it."

They continued kissing while fingering each other, but then Jade started rubbing her hard nipples against Mindy's.

'Oh fuck is this getting better!' Thought Mindy. 'I'm gonna cum...'

'I gotta keep it together, I'm so close.' Thought Jade.

Both kept on going before crying out as their juices gushed out. "Aaaaaahn!" Both moaned out.

After cumming, we see both laying on each other and panting.

"That was awesome." Said Mindy.

"Yeah...amazing."

"You wanna do more couple things?" Asked Mindy.

"Totally, we are wife and wife after all."

"Which first?"

"I wanted to take Elias to the Observatory but he has plans with Kiki." Jade pouted.

"We could still go."

Then Jade kissed Mindy's cheek. "Great, tomorrow, our first date."

"Dress nice."

The next day, we see Elias and Kiki leaving while wearing wrestler masks. "Bye Jade, bye Mindy, we're about to see some grand mayhem!"

"Yeah!" Shouted Kiki.

"Have fun!"

"Yeah, we got a hot date too." Said Jade, wearing a yellow sweater that hugged her chest and blue low rider jeans that hugged her waist, just showing off everything.

"This is gonna be fun." smiled Mindy wearing a white loose blouse top with a plaid skirt.

"You sure you wanna go on a train in a skirt?"

"Yeah, I want you to be groping my ass on the train."

"You naughty girl."

"Like you're one to talk."

"Oh you haven't seen how naughty I can get, just wait till we're at the Observatory."

Then they held hands and off they went to the subway.

(Observatory)

At the Observatory, they were looking at all the various moons.

"You were hungry for buns back on the train." Said Mindy, rubbing her ass.

"I'm surprised nobody was looking our way as I spanked your moons." Said Jade, as they had their arms around each other's waists.

"And here is where Saturn is given a closer look to show that for the last time, they are thousands of asteroids and NOT giant rings."

But the kids who were there didn't care, they were watching a movie where a giant robot swung around the rings of Saturn to give another giant robot a wicked kick to the head!

The tour guide sighed but at least Jade and Mindy cared enough to clap. 'At least not everyone is a waste to teach.'

Later they attend a light show, leaning against each other, cheeks squishing close.

"Hello everyone, welcome to the Observatory, hope you enjoy the light show, for we're gonna take you on a thrilling journey through space." Said a teenage boy, who was working part time.

"Oooooh."

"Now please, direct your attention to the ceiling!"

Then the room went dark and the light show began! A projector showed stars while multiple laser lights shot at passing by comments.

"Ooooh, ahhhh."

And then 2 constellations formed and then kissed.

"That give you ideas?" Mindy whispered.

"Okay, but when the room is bright again, we gotta stop, there's kids here."

"Or keep going~"

"So naughty." Said Jade before they started kissing as a meteor exploded!

Later...

"Oh come on!" Said Mindy. "We were just having some PDA!"

"You think doing that without shirts and bras was okay?" Said the security guard carrying them both to the front entrance. "Kids go here."

"It wasn't that bad. It at least got them curious and asked questions. Isn't that what you guys are all about?"

"This is a space museum, if they wanted that curiosity, then they should get sex education!"

"See? We're saving them time."

"Sorry officer, I'm usually the responsible one in the relationship, but...I just felt the heat of the moment."

"That's what they all say."

And then he dropped them on the sidewalk. He walked back inside with both girls pouting.

"Well, at least we had fun on the date." Said Jade.

"Yeah, and before we go to the train, let's go get some ice cream at the park." Mindy suggested.

"Yeah, I could go for some right now..."

Later, we see them getting kicked out of the park.

"Oh come on! What did we do this time?"

"You were licking ice cream off of each other's breasts in public."

"And that's bad?" Said Mindy.

"It's spring break, as in, all those kids watched as you were being indecent in public!"

"It's spring! You see people doing worse stuff than that on spring break!"

"I can forgive them because they're kids who've been working hard, meanwhile you 2 are women in your late 20's to early 30's, fucking act your age!"

"And how would you know our ages, officer?" Asked Mindy.

"I'm your brother, stupid!"

"Oh, right..." Then they were thrown out of the park.

"Oof!"

"And don't let me catch you around here again!"

"Come on Kevin, little bro, can't you forget?" Asked Mindy.

"No, now get out before I call in the dogs and horses."

Both pouted before leaving.

"Wow, your brother is a stick in the mud."

"He's been like that after...an incident 10 years ago."

"Oh, you mean..."

"The day we met Elias?"

"I will never forget that crazy day." Said Jade. "So what was your brother like before the incident that our little town got caught up in the middle of?"

"Very fun, a lot of friends, but I guess the incident was too much and traumatized him."

"Ouch."

"Exactly."

"Your bro single?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I happen to know 3 girls we could send his way so he'll mellow out."

"Sounds like a great idea, hope it works."

"It will, trust me."

Later that night we see Mindy and Jade cuddling while watching a movie.

"So Jade...?"

"Yes Mindy?"

"You and Elias will be home while me and Kiki are out working?"

"Yep, why?"

"It's a kinky fantasy I had since I figured out we were married. When I get home, I need you and Elias to play along..."

"Hmm hmm, what did you have in mind?"

"Just the usual, find your wife in bed with another person scenario..."

"Hot."

"Yeah, so around 8PM when I usually get back, I wanna walk in on you and Elias doing it."

"Anything for my wife."

(Later)

It is Wednesday night and we see Jade cuddling Elias.

"So honey, how do you feel about your wife cheating on you with your other wife?"

"It gets me hard obviously."

"Hard enough to blow your load?"

"Yeah! Come on, let's go to bed and do it!"

"Sweet!"

They left a trail of clothes as they walked up the stairs to their room. All the while making out.

'Ooooh, hello there penis, I've missed you.' Jade thought, while gripping it. She began to rub it up and down while getting a groan in response.

"Oh Jade." Responded Elias as he reached around and grabbed her ass, getting a groan from her as well!

"Squeeze it harder~"

Elias did just that with one hand, and then moved his hand around to stick a finger in her pussy!

"Aah!~"

"Tell me, how've you both been doing it? Scissor? Toys? Rubbing up against each other?" Moaned Elias before sucking on a nipple.

"We've just been making out while sticking fingers in each other."

'Still so hot.'

"Oh yes, keep sucking my tits. Me and Mindy discovered yesterday that I somehow lactate even though you haven't gotten me pregnant yet!"

"Does that mean if I knock you up your tits will double in size?"

"Wanna try it out? I don't mind getting knocked up, I'm here mostly."

"Hell yeah!" Elias then started moving his hips, making Jade let go!

Meanwhile, downstairs, Kiki and Mindy enter the house.

"So are we gonna return the favor tomorrow when it's our day off?" Asked Kiki.

"Of course." Then Mindy saw the trail of clothes. "Something tells me they started."

Then Jade moaned really loud!

"And that's our cue."

They slowly walked up the stairs giggling as they saw the trail of clothes.

"They didn't waste any time." Said Kiki as they saw the slight opening in the door and heard Jade's constant moaning.

"Ah fuck yeah! Give it to me!"

"Oooh, I always wondered what this was like." Said Mindy, opening the door.

They saw Elias on Jade, missionary and about to cum.

"Elias and Jade?"

"Oh, hey girls, we're about to become parents!" Groaned Elias before his load filled Jade!

"Ahhh fuck yes!"

"Oooh, mind if I name the kid." Said Kiki.

'Damn, so this is what it feels like.' Thought Mindy, drooling. 'It's hotter than I thought.'

"Girls, look, the cum is starting to overflow an come out!" Said Jade.

"I call dibs!" Said Kiki before running over.

"Hey, save some for me."

Both of them opened their mouths and eagerly started to lap at the dripping seed with a moan.

"Mmmh, so good." Said both.

"Okay Elias, my turn!" Said Mindy.

"No, me!" Said Kiki.

That night got wild...

The next day...

"Welp, me and Jade are headed off to work, I hope we come back to seeing you 2 doing it." Said Elias.

"Count on it~" Then Mindy giggled while Kiki had her arms around her, breasts squishing together.

'I'm such a lucky guy.' He thought.

Later that night, we see Kiki and Mindy taking off each other's clothes.

"I'm gonna pants you~." Said Kiki wiggling her fingers.

"Not if I pants you first."

While Mindy and Jade are opposite in mentality, Mindy and Kiki are almost similar mentally, with Kiki always willing to play along with Mindy's games, but then again step in as a responsible adult when conflict arises between Mindy and Jade.

They grabbed at the others lower clothing before trying to pull them down, but they tried to make it hard for the other by backing up. And as they kept backing up, they eventually fell flat on their stomachs.

"Hey, you cheated."

"So did you."

They had stern looks, then both laughed it off before grabbing each other and making out, throwing off each other's clothes until both were nude.

"So, we're just gonna do it in the hallway?" Said Kiki.

"Yes let them come in and join in a hot orgy pile." Said Mindy.

"Sounds good to me."

Mindy got on top before they resumed kissing. Kiki reached up and started to squeeze and knead the girl's tits. Mindy moaned before rubbing 2 fingers inside Kiki's snatch.

"Mmmmm~" Kiki moved her hand down to pleasure Mindy's pussy, her fingers wiggling deep inside.

"Ooooh!"

They kissed even more passionately, Kiki occasionally spanking Mindy's ass.

"Oh fuck yeah baby."

"Wanna grind pussies?"

"Oh, you feel like scissoring?"

"No, I wanna try missionary." Said Kiki. "I don't have a strap on, I just wanna thrust."

"Oh~"

"Besides, our husband will be coming through that door any minute, may as well present our pussies and asses to him."

"Works for me."

Kiki was now on top and Mindy spread her legs. Kiki straddled her and then thrusted! Pussies slamming and grinding against each other.

"Oh! Fuck! Yeah!"

Each time Kiki thrusted, she thrusted faster and grind harder! While both girls grabbed each other's chests!

"Oh fuck is this hot!"

That's when the door started unlocking.

"Harder!"

"Don't need to tell me!"

Then the door opened.

"Nice!" Said Elias as he and Jade walked. "You two are really going at it."

"Hush, we're about to cuuuum..." both replied.

"Oops, sorry."

Instead, Jade closed the door behind them then got down and watched as their pussies burst with juices!

"AHHHHH!"

"Looks tasty." Said Elias as he and Jade started licking.

"Ahhh!"

After cleaning up the juices, they all formed a flesh ball with 4 backs and 16 limbs.

The next day...

We see Jade and Mindy out on another date, but that's when...they walked past a busty red headed woman in skin tight clothing.

"Damn." muttered Mindy before letting out a whistle.

"Really Mindy?"

"What? I just thought she was hot."

"You do realize you're on a date with your wife, right?"

"So you wouldn't have stared if I wasn't looking?"

"Of course I wouldn't, unlike you, I'm faithful."

"Hey!"

"What? Mad that I'm telling the truth you mischievous immature girl!"

"Oh yeah? At least I managed to make you stop being so uptight with our dates!"

"Uptight!?"

"Yeah, like that one time, me and Elias just wanted to get a quickie but you insisted no because the back of the restaurant was filthy!"

"I'm keeping you in line, if I didn't keep you in line, you'd just be doing something stupid, such as when you and that one chick started wrestling while we were supposed to be painting those tiny houses for the homeless!"

"She started it!"

"I'm glad I was able to stop the fight before you killed a person with that elbow drop!"

"Whoa, whoa, I was NOT going to kill her."

"You know what? I'm cancelling this date, you ruined it!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

And awkwardly they walked home together while very steame-

"I'll get back home first!" Then Mindy ran!

"No I will!"

"No me!"

"You immature brat, what made Elias agree to marry you?"

"You uptight bitch, what made Elias marry you?"

"I asked first!"

"He married me because he loved my energy and attitude!" Said Mindy.

"He married me because he loved my assertiveness and my motherly warmth!" Said Jade.

"You sound as boring as a parent!"

"I'm gonna ground you when our baby is born!"

"That won't stop me one bit!"

Later at home, Kiki and Elias were cuddling while watching a movie until they started hearing fighting outside the front door. They then opened the door to see Jade and Mindy punching and pulling each other's hair!

"Hey! Knock it off!" Shouted Elias and Kiki.

They let go and turned away from each other.

"What happened?"

"Mindy cat called a whore that walked by, so unfaithful to us 3!"

"You should've seen her!"

"You have three of us and you're already staring at someone else!"

"I can't be a perv? I've been making you out to be a perv and loosen up a bit whenever we do it in public."

"You can be a perv but only if you stare at us!"

"Come on Jade, it couldn't have been that bad." Said Elias.

"She had more volume than all 3 of us!"

"I stand corrected..."

Both growled at each other.

"But please, how about we stop this lover's quarrel?" Asked Kiki.

"Yeah, Jade you have been loosening up, I really appreciated when you dragged me to the company bathroom a sucked me off at work and Mindy, I think you should uh try loyalty, you've now gained access to 2 more sex partners when you realized you were also married to Kiki and Jade, but please don't go mad with power and end up cheating on us."

"I would never do that, all I did was do a cat call and that's it I swear!" Mindy defended. "Come on Elias, you'd do the same."

"Maybe, but never while I'm on a date, because I have a beautiful woman or women with me already."

"Ugh! I'm heading to the bedroom, and you're all sleeping on the couch tonight!"

"Oh yeah? No dinner for you!" Shouted Jade.

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

Then Mindy slammed the door to the bedroom.

"Is this gonna be a long fight?" Asked Kiki as Jade stomped to the kitchen.

"Nope, because tomorrow these 2 are about to have make up sex."

"Should I get the camera?"

"Yes, but to spice things up." He then pulled out a key.

"You mean..."

"Yep, it's aphrodisiac time."

"I love that time." Kiki jumped up and down. Then Kiki brought out her own key. "If we're getting that horny tonight..."

"Whipped cream? Nice."

(Later)

Tomorrow night, Jade and Mindy had sour looks at each other.

"You say sorry." Said Mindy.

"Not until you apologize to me." Said Jade.

"Uh...ladies, you barely touched your food." Said Elias.

"I don't know how you convinced me to give this brat dinner, she doesn't really deserve it, I bet she filled up on snacks earlier." Said Jade before taking a bite of her food.

"Did not!" Then Mindy took a bite too and then swallowed. "See?"

And then Jade swallowed and suddenly they felt hot and bothered.

"Hey, what's going on? Turn up the air." Said Mindy.

"Why am I so warm? Wait a minute...Elias?"

"Yes?"

"What did you do to the food when you told me to drag Mindy out of the room?" She panted.

"Oh nothing, just added a little special ingredient."

"Aphro...disiacs!" Gasped Jade.

"I knew something fishy was going on when Kiki brought out the whipped and claimed it was for "dessert"." Panted Mindy.

"Oh there will be dessert, just not that dessert." Said Elias.

"Instead you 2 are gonna have make up sex." Said Kiki. "And we'll join in after the foreplay."

"You two are gonna get it!" Jade threatened.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's just go and do it on the couch already."

And cue the two girls stripping each other on the couch.

"Dang, you girls sure got to that quick." Said Elias as he threw off Kiki's shirt while Kiki pulls down Elias' pants.

"I'll show you loyalty, Jade!"

"I'll show you who's fun, Mindy!"

Both growling before spraying whipped cream all over each other. Then they proceeded to lick it off each other with moans.

And then Elias sprayed whipped cream on his dick which Kiki proceeded to lick. His dick was aiming right at Jade and Mindy as they licked each other.

"Oh, you bad girl!" Moaned Jade.

"Gonna stick a finger up your butt to prove how uptight you are."

"How is th-aaah..."

"Yeesh it really is tight, Elias you gotta loosen up Jade's butt."

"After the foreplay."

"Ahhh~" Moaned Jade as Mindy pulled out her finger. That's when Jade pushed Mindy back and made her pussy face Mindy's face.

"Are you challenging me?" Smiled Mindy.

"Whomever munches carpet better says sorry first!"

"You're on."

They put the nozzles inside each other's pussy, filled them with whipped cream and then dug in!

"Damn that's hot." Moaned Elias as Kiki stroked his dick harder.

"You said it." Said Kiki.

Both Mindy and Jade moaned more as they lapped faster.

'Mindy, you really need to shave down here.' Thought Jade.

'Wow, this is pretty kinky, and I like it.' Thought Mindy as their pussies twitched.

'I'm getting close.' Both thought.

That's when juices splashed both of their faces! They worked to lap it up while feeling more relaxed. After cleaning each other's pussies, they turned to face each other.

"You got some of my pubes on your mouth." Said Mindy.

Jade wiped her face. "How about now?"

"Beautiful."

"Girls, present your asses, I'm gonna shoot my own cream all over." Said Elias.

The 3 girls got on each other. Mindy was on the bottom, Jade was in the middle and Kiki was on top, showing off an ass stack that Elias blasted his load all over! Each of them hummed feeling the hot cream.

After the cum stopped flowing, they hummed even more as it slid down each of their asses.

"So, who do you think won the competition? Who apologizes first?" Asked Kiki.

"..." Went Jade.

"..." Went Mindy.

"Tie?" They said at the same time. "Tie."

"Great, so you can both say sorry and tell each other what you learned from this." Said Elias as they got off each other.

"Can't we just be happy with the sex?" Said Mindy.

"Mindy..." the other 3 said.

"Fine...sorry being a greedy pig Jade. For now on, I'm gonna devote myself to perving on you guys, whether it be at home or in public."

"Mindy I'm sorry for being so uptight it's just that, I felt a spark similar when I felt that spark with Elias."

"Heh, me too."

"To prove how sorry I am...I'll let you have 3 late night snacks after we're done having sex."

"Yay!" Then they hugged each other.

"Alright, now that everything's back to normal...let's all help out Kiki, she hasn't gotten off yet."

"Finally."

Mindy and Jade got to work, licking down there meanwhile Elias claimed Kiki's lips.

"Mmmm~"

Elias then moved a hand down to help out, inserting his finger, getting licks from Mindy and Jade.

'So much pleasure, I might cum right now.' Thought Kiki.

That's when Mandy and Jade's tongues swirled around inside her slit like two snakes.

'Ooooh, keep that up please.' she thought with a moan. Then Kiki felt her pussy twitch as her pussy splashed juices all over Mindy and Jade's faces and Elias's hand! Then all 4 came together for a 4 way make out session.

All 4 laid on the couch in the afterglow, cuddling their naked bodies.

"So glad you girls made up." Said Elias.

"Yeah, same here." They replied.

They all then kissed each other goodnight and cuddled.


	18. Chapter 18

List of oneshots part 4

chapter 18

A man with a terrible love life ends up praying to several goddesses by mistake.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

-London, England-

It was a foggy day within the capital city as everyone seems to be having no trouble navigating the thick fog. They were going to their jobs, dealing with daily problems, or just spending time outside.

But the camera zoomed towards a small apartment building as we see it was completely dark, full of pictures of Doctor Who and other franchises covered the walls as it seemed that no one was inside.

Creak!

Slam!

Until a figure entered the room and turned the lights on. "Ugh, home sweet home."

That is when we see our 'hero', a young man with short messy black hair, a feminine figure near his ass area, blue eyes, and wearing a black shirt and tight skinny jeans.

This is Tyler McGimic or Ty for short and well...he's been unlucky for a long time, no not with life and that stuff, he is the son of a comic book artist. No, his bad luck came from one thing and one thing only.

Love.

In short, never had a girlfriend, never gone on a date, not even a pity one, nor a hug from another girl. Heck, not even a kiss.

Overall, his love life stunk and he actually thought he was going to get a date from a friend of his...but that was a bust as not only did the girl not find him attractive and good for her, it was discovered that she was a he.

So yeah...he's kinda down in the dumps right now.

"Another boring and lifeless day, woop de due." He grumbled while heading to his bed and fell on it with a thud. "Fuck my life."

As he had his head within the soft pillow, he cursed his life and his inability to find love of any kind.

"I'm doomed to die alone aren't I? I'll grow up old, alone, and dead inside." Tyler grumbled. "And on my bloody tombstone it will say I'm a pathetic virgin or some shit. Ugh...why me? Why?!"

That was when he decided to pray to someone...the only problem was that he was so pissed and in the process of depression that his brain just couldn't think properly and he just mixed everything up in his head like a bowl of alphabet soup in a blender.

"To hell with it! Whoever hears me can help!" He yelled. "Just help me! To all you spaghetti deer creatures with extra arms and cocks the size of men out there! Help me you fuckers! Help me!"

This kept on for a long while as he kept on saying the most ridiculous sentences in any language.

"Bird god! Cow goddess and foxes with corn hands! Help me! Just help!" He cried while he started to ramble a little. "I need help! You hear me? Help a guy out for once in your long and boring lives!"

Silence.

"Boar goddess, fox goddess, cow and bird goddesses! Help me fix my love life! I will do anything, ANYTHING!" He cried out while crying his eyes out. "I will even give you my soul! Just help me you gods of bloody humanity! PLEASE!"

Silence.

He sighed and sat on his bed and shook his head. "I might as well just go to sleep and forget this day ever happened. Maybe I'll have a less shitty dream."

As he went to bed, he didn't notice that his life was going to change, for better or for worse.

(Next morning)

Tyler yawned while waking up and got out of bed.

Only to notice that someone was watching him from right next to the right side of the bed.

"AHHH!"

"Morning." said a young woman with light tanned skin, long blackish brown hair that went to her sides, golden red eyes, two curved grey horns on both sides of her head with a golden orb in the center of it, two brown cow ears, a G cup chest and wide ass, with two gray fur covered legs with golden hooves, weaning a white robe that barely covered her chest and had a headpiece with a golden viper on her forehead. "How was your rest human?"

"W-W-Who are you?! How did you get in?! If you're here to rob me, just take my savings in my drawer!"

"No no. I'm not here for money." she chuckled. "I'm here to answer your prayers. Oh and I'm Harthor, goddess of the sky, mistress of the stars, goddess of the sun half the time, of music, dancy, joy, sexuality, beauty, love, motherhood, queenship, forign lands and their goods and the afterlife. I'm also half cow, hence the ears and stuff." she moved closer to him. "So want to have sex or at least give me some food? I'm famished."

Tyler stared at her in silence and moved over to the door. "Y-You're nuts, you're completely nuts!"

She took his hand and placed it on her right ear. "Does this prove my existence? Also I get aroused by this so don't rub too much~"

"Look lady, I don't know what you're playing at, but I don't have the cash to pay for sex."

She deadpanned before snapping her fingers and caused the sun to return to the east and made it dusk again. "My pharaoh might get mad at this, but I did give you a chance to believe me without using my powers. So, do you NOW believe me human?"

He paled seeing the sun's backwards cycle in the sky and turned to Hathor. "T….T...The sun…."

"Want me to change it back?"

"You….made it….move!"

"Yep, partial sun goddess remember~?" she smirked. "So want me to fix it or keep it like that?"

"YES!"

She snapped her fingers as the sun returned to its normal position in the sky, only for her to pant. "So...hungry...must have….food….ugh…." 'So much power...wasted.'

Tyler stared at her, still blown away, and started slapping himself to try and wake up from this dream. 'Ok! Wake up!'

Hathor looked at him while licking her lips. "Human...feed me…"

"Um...with what?"

"Anything….even sperm~"

Tyler blushed at the last part, but went to his fridge and grabbed a chicken sandwich. "Here!"

She grabbed it before eating it, causing her G cup chest to grow to an H cup chest instantly. "AH! Much better, that's the first real offering for a millenium. Ugh, I miss my huge Z cup breasts but hey, not my fault the Romans took over and turned us into demons by those monopheistic guys. Sigh...thanks Tyler."

"How do you know my name?"

"I was listening to your prayers last night, duh." Hathor chuckled. "Plus I am a love goddess, so-"

"Wait what!?"

"I'm a love goddess-"

"WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I NEEDED IT!?"

She sweatdropped. "Sleeping, since my pantheon is inactive I don't look into the love lives of others like in the past. So I just was asleep and wasting away like a mummy without any offerings."

Tyler sighed while pinching his nose in frustration. "You mean to say...this whole time...I could have just made some bullshit prayer and a real goddess would have shown up? This entire time?"

"Well technically yes, but there are other pantheons and well…." she sweatdropped. "We kinda get possessive to followers, especially now that we have monotheistic religions and cults all over the place. But at least you called me first."

"Um…."

"You did right? Like you didn't just say random stuff in the prayer?"

"..."

"You didn't." Hathor said in shock and anger.

"Hey! Don't get upset with me! I was in a really bad mood, I was speaking all kinds of random stuff, and I just NOW found out that all that stuff was true! I mean….I always thought that stuff was just made up."

"If that was the case, then why did you keep believing in us?" she deadpanned. "Anyway this complicates things, if you just called out to no one in particular, ANYONE would have listened in and might be coming to answer your prayers. Oh gods….another turf war again."

That was when Tyler noticed that the sun wasn't moving from its position in the sky, even if it had been more than an hour since they talked. "Uh, you know you can just let the sun move normal right?"

"That's not me." Hathor admitted. "I haven't even called upon that power since that demonstration."

"Then why isn't it…."

"Snort."

Both turned to the door and saw a large boar with sharp iron tusks at the door as a woman with pale skin, a long blond hair that went to her large ass, sharp green eyes, a J cup chest, wearing a sheepskin fleece around her shoulders, a short skirt that revealed her many blue tattoos around her hips, with a ram's head covering her bosom and a set of boar's tusks on her around her neck, sat on it and held a lamb in her hands.

"Oh no, you." groaned Hathor.

"Hello…" she said sadly while petting the lamb. "I am Brigid, goddess of spring, fertility, healing, poetry, smithcraft, guardian of animals, inventor of keening, medicine, serpents, sacred wells, livestock, ruler of all things that are...sigh, high dimensions...like highlands….and I'm somehow a saint….sigh. I am here to answer you call human...oh hi….Harthor." 'Why her...why?'

"You mean my rambling from yesterday?"

"Yes…." she said while letting the lamb off her hands as the animals vanished into her attire. "You want love...I might be a widower and have a son that never calls me...I can make you happy….sorry."

"Wait, how? I mean with her," he pointed to Hathor. "I can sorta understand, but you don't sound like...an expert on love."

"I am." she sighed. "But I lost my motivation after...my pantheon turned into fairies and...I became a saint. Apparently saint's can't….do it. And…." she sniffled and held her hands across her face. "I lost my warrior's pride!"

Tyler flinched seeing her cry with Hathor looking unfazed.

"You do this every time." Hathor rolled her eyes. "Just grow a spine and get a few followers."

"How!?" she cried while hiding under the bed. "I...I don't know who I am anymore. Am I a goddess, a saint or a fairy? I don't know and….sniff I want to stay in my mound."

He blinked while looking at Hathor. "What's with her?"

"Monotheism." she whispered. "Some deities have it rough, with her pantheon and the ones from your country, it's either become 'demons' or in her case, become fairies. She used to be a fierce goddess but well…."

"I need to...stay home…"

"She's not taking it well. I mean look at her, she looks like the world ended."

"AWAWAW!" Brigid cried while not leaving the bed.

'Sounds like it too.'

She sniffled as Tyler looked down at her. "Sorry….I will leave...sorry….sorry…."

"Stay." He sighed. "I hate seeing girls cry, especially one that's having worse luck than me."

She blinked while lightly blushing, only to cover her face. "...thanks, but I'm a pixie. A lowly girly pixie with...no life…."

'Well at least she's not crying.' Both thought at the same time, before noticing the sun was still in the same position as before.

"Did you break the sun?" Tyler asked Brigid.

"No...I rule spring...not the sun…" she said quietly. "Sorry for being...so weak and pathetic…"

"Wait, but if you didn't mess with it, then who…" Hathor muttered before seeing a beam of light hit the wall and then a mirror before a loud crash was heard in the bathroom.

"GAH! OW! Damn that sun beam!" yelled a woman from within the shower, only for the water to turn on. "FUCK! COLD!"

Tyler blinked while Hathor froze in fear.

'Not that one! Anyone but...her!'

"Uh, do you know who that was?" He asked before seeing the cow woman hiding right behind him. "Hey!"

"Hush! Do you want HER to find me!?"

"Her? Oh no, another one? How many did I call?!"

"I don't know!"

That was when a woman with dark chocolate skin, dark gold eyes with her right eye seemingly made of pure amber and stuttered with gold and lapis lazuli, short blackish white hair with five golden feathers near her ears, two massive gold wings on her back with a massive disk of gold in the middle of her wings, sharp red nails on her fingers and toes, with long black eyeliner on the sides of her eyes, a J cup chest and wide ass, wearing a single red robe that exposed her chest and ass, a golden necklace around her neck and over the top of her chest, and had a golden headpiece with a golden cobra in the center, a white circular top and a red underbase dotted with amber spires on the sides, walked out of the bathroom, soaked and with a monotone expression, and eyed the human and goddesses.

"Shit." Hathor gulped.

"Human, are you the one that called me?"

"Uh….no, you want the guy downstairs."

"Do not lie." she said as her right eye glowed as bright as a mini sun. "For you are in the presence of Ra, the lord of all creation, the denizen of the sun, the sky, the rulers of the world, and of order itself. And I demand the truth from a human such as you or I shall smite you where you stand."

Tyler paled in horror as Hathor looked ready to run.

"Now speak." She said with a hint of anger in her tone.

"I-I'm the one you seek!"

Ra looked at him before sighing a very heavy sigh. "Then I shall give you your wish….wait." she looked at Hathor and then at Brigid. "What is my daughter and this...saint doing here?"

"Sorry." Brigid cried. "I...sorry for not being a goddess...I'm sorry…."

"Mom! Stop making fun of her, only I can do that!" Hathor said in a nervous yell.

"Wait….how the hell can you be Ra?! That's a guy!"

"I am both male and female." Ra said. "But lately I have felt my female self was more ideal for this era of man, that and if I came to you as an old man with silver bones, your traumatic experience of yesterday would kill your soul entirely."

"...you're not wrong." he muttered looking away.

"Now." She said calmly. "Since you have called my daughter and the other goddess, it seems I have to banish them."

"NOOOO!" both goddesses cried out in horror

"If I had the energy that is." she said while still having a monotone voice. "But my endless battle with Apophis has drained me mentally and thus I have no strength left to even rule my own pantheon."

'Well that was anticlimactic.' thought Tyler while the other two sighed in relief. "Wait, why would you wanna banish them anyway?"

"For fun." Ra said calmly. "I did that to Set and Osiris after they destroyed Pompeii, now they are busy making funny sweaters in Cleveland. Their mother, Nut, was the one to give them that punishment."

"But isn't there a bunch of other gods who are just as important? What makes you so much better to decide all that?"

"I see everything." she pointed to her right eye. "And besides my chief doctor Isis, I am the most powerful of my pantheon, for I created the world. But as of now, I let Odin and the other 'sky fathers' keep an eye on the world."

"Oh…"

"And I saw you yesterday, kissing a picture of an anime girl named….um...oh yes. Darkness from KonoSuba, I think? Anime is not my forte." She admitted.

"N-No! I wasn't!" he blushed. "I was….reading a book on how to bake a cake."

The goddesses deadpanned at him while the sun STILL remained in its original position.

"I mean it!"

"Mom can see everything with her eye." Hathor deadpanned. "Lying about that is kinda pointless."

"Can you blame me?! My love life sucks! I didn't even think anyone would hear me ramble! I mean, why listen to a stranger go on about that? Don't you have other things to worry about? I mean if you ARE the most powerful god, or goddess, can't you just go off and deal with bigger stuff?"

"No."

"Why not?!"

"We don't have worshippers anymore." Ra said. "We are currently weak and conserving energy."

"Except one group." Hathor grumbled.

"They hate me…" Brigid sniffled.

"Who? Who do you mean?"

That was when a blast of sunlight hit the entire apartment and caused Tyler to get temporarily blinded.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHH!" He screamed while Brigid began to heal his eyes with some of her sheepskin fleece. "MY EYES! MY EYES!"

That was when the light vanished and we see a short pale skinned woman with long silver white hair that went down all the way to her feet, crimson red eyes, a long wolf like tail and pointed ears, red tattoos around her shoulders and forehead, long pink claws, a I cup chest and wide ass, wearing a long flowing red and white kimono that exposed her breasts and stomach, a necklace of green beads, and had a golden green mirror hovering around the back of her head and a golden sword on her hips, posing like a popstar. "Kon'nichiwa human! I'm the great and sexy Amaterasu-ōmikami or Amaterasu for you~ I'm the kami of the sun, ruler of my pantheon and the empress of the universe~ So give me a kiss and I will be your idol~ He he~"

"God! My eyes are on fire!" He screamed as Brigid finished healing his eyes. "...thanks."

"You're welcome….sorry." She said with a blush.

Amaterasu smiled before seeing the other goddesses and lost her smile instantly. "Kuso! You guys again! I'm the only true kami of the sun, not you two!"

"Bite your tongue child." glared Ra.

"No bite yours!"

"Go away." Hathor frowned.

"Yomi no! This human called me and I'm going to help him with his love life! So back off!" She growled while the tail stood on end.

"Um hey." Tyler said. "I have a question for you."

"Yes~?"

"Is it true you were once related to snakes?"

"..." she smiled falsely while her eyes suddenly turned into viper eyes. "**Shut the fuck up about that. Ok~?**"

"Yes ma'am." he squeaked out in fear.

Her eyes changed back. "Good, now it's time to get rid of some kami."

He gulped. "One moment! Can't we have breakfast before that?"

Brigid poked her head out. "Um….I can...help. Sorry, sorry."

"You don't need to keep apologizing, you did nothing wrong."

"I imposed myself on you…"

"Yeah, but it wasn't your fault."

She crawled out of the bed. "Um...ok. But my food might be….terrible."

"Hey! I'm cooking for him!" Amaterasu frowned.

"You can't even cook." Hathor smirked.

"Yes I can!"

"Even mom can cook, and she made every recipe in the world."

"I rule the universe so every recipe is mine!"

All three glared at the other while the human and goddess walked to the kitchen.

(Later on)

"Really, I can make something for us all."

"Yeah and you make a lioness that killed humanity." Amaterasu countered to Ra.

"If you weren't in the house of my human, I would smite you for your tongue."

"Same here, baka."

"Use actual language."

"It is actual language, unlike your 'high-oglaf-ic' nonsense."

"You cur!"

Hathor sighed while waiting for the food to be prepared. "By the way, who's using the sun right now without you two?"

"Apollo." both said in disgust.

"...the world is fucked." Hathor gulped. "Especially if he accidentally sleeps at the wheel again or worse...oh gods! Did you see any man or woman with him!?"

"..."

"..."

"AH! WE'RE DOOMED!"

"How?" sweatdropped Tyler.

"He will fuck the man or woman in question WHILE driving." Hathor gulped. "He did that once and well...let's just say that the explosion in russia might have made a few gods pissed." 'And started the Russian Revolution!'

"...ok." he said as Brigid brought out a large cauldron full of cooked porridge mixed with sheep and boar bladder.

"Ready….please don't hate it." She said sadly.

He looked at the food and felt nervous, but also happy since he never had someone cook something like this for him. He then took a spoon and tasted it. "..."

"Is it...bad?"

"No, it's delicious!"

Her eyes widened while Tyler had another bite. "It's...not bad?"

"It's perfect! What did you add?"

"Um...some cheese, a little onion and…" she blushed while making a heart sign with her hands. "M-Motherly….love….I'm sorry! I used to do this with my son and….I'm sorry!"

"You shouldn't, this stuff is amazing." He said with a smile. "Right girls?"

The other goddesses took a bite and also felt their taste buds melt away. "Yes."

Brigid felt flustered while covering her face. "I...I can't!" she hid under the table. "I'm not worthy!"

"Baka." Amaterasu muttered. "She needs to start acting like a proper kami, or at least a tsundere."

"Like you?" Hathor smirked.

"I'm not a tsundere!"

"True, you're actually a bakadere."

"Why you little-"

"Silence." Ra cut in.

"No! She needs to pay for that insult!" She glared. "Like losing her immortality and fighting a nine headed yokai! Look at my brother, he's reformed."

"And scared you might do worse to him." Hathor muttered to herself.

Tyler sat at the table while sitting next to Hathor. "Before we have breakfast, I want to ask you four something. What would you do IF I decided to choose one of you? And don't make fun of the other or I'm leaving and possibly calling someone else for help."

"You wouldn't get far." remarked Ra.

"Just answer the question." he deadpanned.

"If you chose me." Hathor smirked while moving her chest near his face. "I would bless you with lots of children, make every woman fall for you, AND make you the most handsome human on earth, on par with Cleopatra."

"...by every woman, could you be more clear?" he asked with intrigue.

"Simple, every woman, both young and old, fat or skinny, living or dead will love you unconditionally. Your harem will protect you and give you strong children to make a new dynasty of pharaohs. Heck, I will even make you irresistible to goddesses~"

Tyler let that sink in and seemed happy, but shuddered at the young, old, and dead parts.

"Well?"

"Um…." he pointed at Ra. "You would help me how?"

"Grant you kingship over all of creation, the ability to make all women fall for you without question, and to become ruler of your planet." She said monotonous. "If you choose me that is."

"But wouldn't that go against your own rule?"

"You would be possessed by me, solving the issue until your body is strong enough to do it on your own."

Tyler paled at the prospect of being possessed.

"If you chose me…" Brigid gulped. "I would….teach you to be kind to women….become a healer and warrior...and….help heal you."

"What do you mean by that last part?"

"...to heal your heart." she said while Tyler felt a little happy, but had to ask the big question.

"Will it make the girls like me?"

"...no. I'm sorry! Sniff!"

He flinched seeing her tear up.

Amaterasu laughed. "How foolish of a washed up kami. Human, if you choose me I will make the universe bow to your will, make every woman ever created fall for you, make them your servants, give them forms from your manga and anime dreams, and if you choose me to be your protagonist harem lead, I will isekai this entire planet into your fantasy realm."

"...and my role would be?"

"Maou-Oh, duh." She smirked as Tyler recalled the name as 'Devil King' aka the main villain of ANY anime or manga. "So, want to be my protagonist~?"

"But then won't there be some warrior trying to kill me?"

"Perhaps, but you can win with my powers."

"...can I think about this?" he asked nervously.

"NO! I want you and I want you NOW!" She frowned while her ears drooped to the sides. "Now hurry up and answer!"

"Um…"

"Answer." Ra frowned.

"Answer please." Hathor sighed.

"Answer...sorry." Brigid said sadly.

"Um….um...ah...hum…." He then snapped his fingers. "I choose all of the above."

"...what?" all four said at once.

"Yeah, I choose all of the above." he smiled. "Why have one goddess when having four can help me with my love life? Plus I always wanted a harem."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"So are you up for it ladies?" 'Please don't obliterate me!'

"...hmmm…."

"Mmmmm…."

"Well…."

"...um…."

Tyler blinked while watching them conimple the situation they were in now. 'Wait, are they actually on board?' "Well?"

"We will do it." Ra said.

"Oh thank-"

"Only if you dominate us in the bed." Hathor smirked. "After all, some of us are horny, like the virgin fox."

"I'm not a virgin!" Amaterasu yelled in embarrassment.

Tyler blinked while rubbing his eyes. 'WHAT?!'

Brigid nodded. "Sorry...but I wish you had a better goddess then me….at love making…."

He slowly let that sink in while his face turned bright red. "You...you mean….you're serious?!"

"Yes." all four said at once.

"...all at once?"

"Yes."

"..." he got up and ran for it. 'I WILL NEVER SURVIVE THAT!'

"Hey! Get back here!" Amaterasu yelled while running after him along with Ra, Hathor, and Brigid.

(With Tyler)

He panted while hiding in the basement with a lot of barricaded furniture near the doors and windows. "I know I wanted love, and all their offers are great, but I'll die before I can get to any of those!"

BANG!

BANG!

"OPEN UP TEME!"

'I need to hide!' he thought before running into a closet as the door began to glow orange.

BOOM!

And exploded into flames and ash due to Amaterasu, Ra, and Hathor's abilities, although the last two were panting a little from losing energy.

"Boy! Come out!"

"And get that cock out and hard!" Hathor frowned while panting as Brigid looked around as a boar was under her legs.

"Snort!"

"Sniff him out...Torc Triath…" she said while the boar sniffed the room.

'SHIT! I forgot about the pig!' he thought as the boar sniffed the floor and followed the scent.

"Snort….REEEEEE!" it cried out while it glared at the closet door.

"There he is!" Amaterasu grinned while summoning a fireball from her hand. "Get out here and I will leave you with first degree burns baka baka!"

"Show yourself, or perish." spoke Ra.

"..."

"Come out and I will let you hug me." Hathor said while sounding motherly.

"..." He gulped. "Um...me no speak english?"

They deadpanned at him before the boar charged at the door.

"RRREEEEEEEEEE!"

"AAAAAAHHHHH! FUCK OFF BOAR!" He cried out while jumping onto the nearest coat hanger.

And cue the boar breaking the door down.

He jumped to the side and ducked under the boar before running towards a hidden passageway aka the sewer system and went into the hole.

Hathor gagged at this. "Mom, did he just…."

"Yes. Yes he did." Ra said with a monotone expression.

"Which means we have to jump in after him."

"I'm not going in there!" Amaterasu gagged while her ears and tail stood on end. "I might be made from my father's eye, but I'm not a baka! I rather get hit by a flayed pony then go in there!"

"Um…" Brigid got out. "Maybe we should get a fishing line? Or let….someone with better nature powers….fish him out?"

The three goddess looked at the nature deity with an evil smile.

"Eep!"

(With Tyler)

"Ok, if I go this way, I should be good." he muttered while getting covered in crap and unused toilet paper covered in rat blood. "Unfortunately I forgot how disgusting a sewer is."

SPLASH!

He blinked while hearing something falling right behind him. 'What was that?'

"So...gross….ew...so...ew…" Brigid gagged while currently in the water. "Ew…"

Tyler turned around and saw the goddess right behind him.

"Sorry...you must come back...sorry." She apologized while looking ready to puke.

"I can't do that." He said while crawling away.

"Please?"

"No."

She looked sad at that before a hoard of rats appeared next to her. "I'm sorry...rats...drag him home." 'So gross...but I deserve it.'

They all squeaked before they started to scurry after him.

Tyler paled while sprinting away quickly, only for the rats to grab his legs with their teeth and started dragging him away. "No! Get off me you rodents!"

"Squeak squeak."

"I don't wanna get sick!" He cried out in horror as Brigid got up and walked after him.

"Sorry."

(Back at the house)

Tyler was dragged into the bathroom as the rats let him go and ran out of the room, leaving him alone and locked in his own house, thanks to the goddesses enchanting the doors with magic that made everything as hot as the sun. "Gross."

That was when he realized that he was going to get fucked to death by horny deities if he got out of this room.

"Oh great, the one time I get to lose my virginity, and it'll be my last." He muttered to himself. "Why did it have to be literal goddesses?!"

That was when he started to think about his own bad luck and love life and well...weighed the possibilities of either having a harem of immortal goddesses or living a life as a lone guy that seems to be unable to be loved by any girl on earth.

"...ah screw it. If I die, chances are I'll run into another one on the other side. Besides, then I can say I banged a goddess." He said out loud before realizing that the four goddesses were in his bathtub, naked, and currently washing Brigid off with soap.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"So you choose to pleasure us?" Ra asked while Amaterasu and Hathor eyed Tyler like a price of meat.

"Screw it, let's do it." He said before jumping into the tub.

(A year of fucking later)

It was a nice day at the mall as seveal guys and gals were talking at the food court, mostly about sex or how many dates they had, stuff like that.

"Like, he was cute, but he only dated me to fuck my sister. Like, how dumb am I right?" said a girl while talking to her mixed gender friends.

"Yeah, you should have seen what he wanted right off the bat."

"Yeah! I mean he was such a creep. Like that Tyler guy."

"Oh yeah, he really thought that we, his 'friends'." One guy said while making air quotes. "Would hook him up with a real girl. Ha, what a loser."

The teens laughed while not seeing said person right behind them, looking kinda happy and not at all ready to kick their asses into the concrete floor.

"Next time, I should make him date my other brother, am I right guys?"

"Yeah, that'd be a riot."

"I know."

Tyler chuckled before poking the guy's shoulder. "Morning Greg, how's being an asshole with the gay brother who's about to get punched in the throat?"

"O-Oh Ty. Um...I'm fine." he got out nervously as the teens stopped laughing.

"Good, because I'm in a good mood myself. I do have a date today."

"Wait….a date?"

"Yeah, a date."

"But you don't have a girlfriend, or are you really gay?"

He deadpanned. "I'm not gay."

The teens looked lost at this.

"What? I may LOOK like a girl, but I'm not gay. Especially the ones that are taking pictures of my ass." he glared at some of the guys and girls on the left side, who had their phones out, and were kinda sheepish at being caught red handed. "I'm waiting for my date to show up."

The lead guy frowned. "And who is this date?"

"Oh you'll find out, soon enough." He smirked while looking at his phone. "Oh and looks like she will be here soon, along with a few others. So." he took a seat. "Can I sit here or are you too busy making jokes at my expense to care?"

"Um...no?"

Tyler smirked while seeing his date walking behind the lead guy's back. "And there she is."

The lead guy looked confused at this before feeling someone's breath hitting his neck.

"Kon'nichiwa~" called out Amaterasu while wearing a heavy looking blue shirt with a tiny mini skirt and had her hair tied in several buns as she winked at the crowd. "Your favorite idol is here~!"

"AH!"

She jumped towards Tyler and gave him a hug. "Did you miss me dear~?"

"Did you enjoy the music store?"

"Yep~ It was great, and I even got an idea for my new album, Kami and the Oni~ How's that sound~?"

"Sounds like an instant hit."

She smiled as the teens looked on in shock, not seeing that Hathor was right next to Tyler's left side and was currently wearing a black shirt and pants as her chest was now a L cup chest, due to her normal 'morning offerings', and her head had a pink hat covering it.

"Tyler." Hathor coughed while holding a Wendy's bag. "You left your lunch at the restaurant, I thought I would bring it to you two before you get hungry."

"Thanks honey."

"You're welcome dear."

"Thanks cow oni~"

"Don't push it." Hathor glared at the goddess while the teens looked on in shock. "I have him tomorrow for a date so just savor it while it lasts."

"Yeah yeah, baka~"

"Girls, no fighting." Tyler said while patting their heads, calming them down.

"He is right." said Ra, who was now wearing a skin tight black dress with shades on her face, as she walked by with a bag in her hands. "You should not fight. And Tyler, you have forgotten your bag, again."

"Oh shoot. I knew I forgot something."

"Just make sure you don't forget. It has your wallet inside." She said with a monotone expression before looking at the lead teen. "I'm not interested in a human that cheats on five girls at once."

"You WHAT?!"

"Um…."

"He also has a baby with one of them." Ra said calmly. "A girl from what I heard from the grapevine."

"A kid too!?"

The teen gulped as his friends started to glare at him.

That was when Tyler saw Brigid running after him, wearing much to his delight a set of ripped jeans that reached to her hips, a single green bra with a red jacket over it, and had a belt made of boar's tusks on her sides, looking embarrassed and tired.

"Ah...Tyler…" she panted while giving him some chocolates. "Sorry...but I had a...wardrobe malfunction...here…" 'I'M SO EXPOSED! AAAAAHHHH!'

He patted her head while accepting the chocolates. "Thanks dear. You're the best."

And cue her covering her face in embarrassment. This also made the others gawk at her while blown away seeing all four of them.

Tyler saw this and smiled. "What? Never saw a guy with girls who are friends?"

"W...Who….Who are they?"

He smirked. "My girlfriends, duh."

"GIRLFRIENDS?!"

"Yep." He winked while the teens looked very shocked. "You may be cheaters and hacks, but I have girlfriends that care for me, unlike you lot. So if you excuse us, we have places to go and things to do."

"And beds to rock~" Amaterasu said with a grin as they left the table, leaving the now exposed cheater completely alone with his now pissed off 'friends'.

"Um...how's that for luck?" 'Oh shit...they're going to kill me!'

"**Greg.**" They growled in anger.

'Crap!' He thought in fear as we see Ra looking at them from her right eye.

'Such foolish mortals, to think their misdeeds would stay hidden from my eye.'


	19. Chapter 19

List of oneshots part 4

chapter 19

Izuku ends up turned into a chibi due to a villain and gets into shenanigans

Series: Boku No Academia

xxxxxxxxxxxx

"All right, let's see who's going to be my next lucky victim~" Chuckled a voice as a figure was casually walking through a park with a hum. The figure was a tall blonde woman in a long purple coat with an orange shirt and pants with a matching wide brimmed hat on.

Anyone who saw her figured she was a hero on patrol and didn't think twice about it. Unknown to them this was part of her plan, she made sure that she looked strange enough to make people think she was a hero, but not unique enough to stand out enough. All in all she looked like a minor hero.

'I need someone unsuspecting, someone who will give a good reaction, not to mention someone I can make money off of, my pocket cash is getting low.' She thought as she tapped her chin. 'Ok, so I need someone random, someone that no one will question a 'hero' pulling aside.'

She looked around with narrow eyes while looking like a hawk on the hunt. 'Let's see...no, too fat, too thick, too old…. Nice, but in too large a group.' She thought as she spotted a schoolgirl chatting with her friends. She turned her head before spotting someone sitting at a bench and casually make her way around. 'Ok, not bad, he looks a bit cute...freckles? Alright, not bad, very good in fact...green hair? Ok, I can work with that...yeah, he seems like he'll do fine.'

While she rubbed her hands, on the bench Izuku was looking at his phone.

'I wonder when Urakara will show up, she said she got Hawk's autograph.' He thought with a smile. 'Ever since he got into the top hero's list, he's been harder to meet in person.'

"Exuse me young man, are you free at the moment?"

Izuku looked up and saw the woman smiling, noted her attire, and quickly guessed she must have either been a cosplayer or a hero. "Yes?"

"Well, you looked like a strong young man and I need some help changing my tire, can you come help me?" She asked with a worried expression she had perfected for a long time.

"Oh, well, sure, lead the way." Izuku said as he put away his phone.

"Great, I parked nearby, just follow me." She said with a smile as she inwardly chuckled. 'Like clockwork, now he'll follow me and I'll do the deed.'

'This is one way to pass the time, and I get to help someone.' Izuku thought as happily as he followed the woman as she led him into a nearby alley and towards a white van with a plumbing business written on the side.

"I hope this isn't too much trouble for you." The woman said with a smile.

"On none at all, I'm happy to help. So, which tire needs to be changed?" He asked as he walked towards the van, unknowingly leaving him exposed to her from behind.

"It's the one in front." She said as she stretched out her arms. 'Ok, let's get started.'

Izuku crouched near the right tire while the woman did some random movements with her hands that made it look like she was twitching while he looked confused at the hubcap. "Are you sure that this is the right tire? It looks fine." He said as he turned around only for her to boop him on the nose.

"Yup, especially I just did that~" She chuckled as Izuku's eyes widened as he began to rapidly change. He instantly began to rapidly shrink down as his clothes changed to fit him, his eyes becoming larger as his features became more rounded.

"Hey, what's going on?"

"You're changing, duh. You were today's lucky sap and my newest victim of my quirk, chibi!" She cheered as his eyes widened. "Once you're hit you're stuck like that, in fact the change should be over in a minute or less."

"W-W-What does it do?"

"It turns whoever I touch into a chibi version of themselves." She chuckled. "It also makes everything they do adorable, cute, and it makes them defenseless~"

"Eh?! he cried out looking down at his tiny body and limbs while noting how everything seemed bigger. "H-H-Help! Somebody!" He cried out as loud as he could, but it sounded more high pitched making him cover his mouth in surprise.

"Hahaha! Another victim and another buck for me." Chuckled the villain as she pulled out a large bag. "Now be a good little guy and get in the sack."

Izuku paled and turned before he took off running before she went after him.

"Get back here, we have an auction to get too!" She called as Izuku tried running as fast as possible, but found he wasn't making it far with the villain coming closer and closer.

'Stupid tiny stubby legs!' He thought before feeling her grab the back of his shirt. "Noooo! Let go of me!"

"Got ya!" She cackled as she hoisted him up as he tried to run, but he didn't go anywhere before she tossed him in the bag. "I gotta say, this never gets old, I hit the jackpot when it comes to quirks." She chuckled as she swung the bag over her shoulder and went towards the van.

"Let me out of here!" Cried Izuku trying to push against the sack as hard as he could.

"No way, people go nuts over you guys, so small, cute, I bet I could get a good half million for you easily~" She chuckled as she got into the van and set the bag on the passenger seat. "Now just sit tight and don't cause a fuss, don't wanna get into an accident."

"L-Let me go! Please!"

"No way kid, now shut up, I don't want to use chloroform but I will." She warned starting the van up. "Come on... come on... start! Yes!" She laughed as the van started up and she began to drive. "And off we go~" She sang as they drove away, filling Izuki with fear.

'Oh no! I need to rip out of this bag!' He thought as he tried to get free from the bag, which only led to him sliding off the seat and onto the floor. "Ow!"

"Hey, stop moving! I don't want the goods damaged."

"Let me out then!"

"What? No, have you even been listening, I need you, and why would I free you?"

"I don't wanna get sold of course!"

"Well too bad, you're getting sold!" She spoke before suddenly feeling the van start moving off as it felt lighter with the ground seemingly going down. "Huh? What the hell?" She muttered as she poked her head out the window in confusion. Her eyes widened when she saw the van floating up into the air. "Fuck fuck fuck fuck!" She swore as she grabbed the bag Isuzu was in. "Time to go!" She said as she kicked open the door before jumping out.

"Waah!" He screamed feeling him falling down before bouncing against the bag and felt it shake. He felt it continue to shake as the villain ran, making sure to stick to the alley before hearing a familiar voice.

"Stop! Don't run!"

"Urakara? Help Urakara! I'm trapped in here!" He called out, making the villain scowl.

"Deku?! What are you doing in there, actually how do you even fit in the bag?"

"J-Just save me first!"

"You're not gonna catch me brat!" Growled the woman as she kept running. 'Ok, time for all that exercise to pay off! I need this payday!'

"Oh no you don't!" Urakara called as she made herself weightless as she kept running, allowing her to go faster. She used the alley walls to help push herself as the villain exited the alley and went running down the right, only to spot an udon cart moving in her path. "Ha, got you now!" Urakara called as the villain crashed into the cart.

"Gah! Stupid udon!" Cried out the woman getting a bowl to the face.

"My udon!" Cried the cart owner as Urakara pounced on the villain and grabbed the sack.

"I got you Deku!" She smiled while stepping back as two officers ran over.

"What's going on over here?"

"Officer, this villain tried to kidnap my friend!"

"And I would have gotten away too if it wasn't for this brat." Growled the woman while glaring at Urakara who glared back.

"Alright lady, come on, you're coming with us." Said the officer as Urakara opened up the sack.

"It's ok De….ku?" She started only to lose her voice as she saw her changed friend, now not even a quarter of his original height.

"Oh thank you Urakara, I was worried there for a second."

"Wha….what happened to you?" She asked in shock.

"That woman turned me like this." He spoke while the girl was blown away. "She turned me into...a chibi."

"A….chibi?" She asked, trying to process how this happened. "Uh… when does it wear off?"

"Never! It never will!" He cried out while holding his head and jumped around, which tugged at the girl's heart strings.

"Hehehehe...at least this wasn't a total loss." Chuckled the villain as she was huffed and led away. "Have fun with your new life!"

"Don't worry Deku, I'll get you to the school and we'll figure something out there." Urakara said as she tried to console the shrunken boy.

"Ok...I just hope no one will notice." he said to himself, knowing that was impossible.

(After some time of running to the school)

"Ok, I'll get them talking and warn them something's wrong, then show them what you look like." Urakara said as she and Izuku reached their classroom door.

"Ok, I'll be right here, you tell me when to enter and I will." He nodded while on the ground, with Urakara managing to keep from smiling widely due to the size difference.

'So cute! No, stay focused, tell everyone to prepare themselves then bring him in.' She thought as she entered the room. "Um, guys?"

"Ah! Greetings Urakara-san, you're late." Greeted Iida with a salute.

"H-Hey Iida...and yes, I am, but I have a good excuse why me and Deku are late."

"What happened?"

"Um...there was a villain and an attempted kidnapping...and quirks were used and well… Deku, you can come in now." She spoke while poking her fingers together as they all turned to the door and went wide eyed when Izuku stepped in with a nervous expression.

"H-Hi everyone…" He said nervously as he rubbed the back of his head.

"D...D….Deku?!" Spoke up Jiro.

"Yeah….it's me….I was hit by a villain's quirk called 'Chibi' and well...this is the result." He gestured to himself while all of them were speechless. Their silence was broken when Bakugo burst out in laughter.

"Bwahahahaha! Y-You fucking idiot Deku, you fucked up so bad! Bwahahahaha!"

Izuku blushed while Mina moved over and had to crouch down to look closer.

"Wow, you really are chibi. You're like one of those bright mascots they show on commercials."

"Yeah, you're right! Or one of those cute characters you'd get on a keychain from a vending machine." Piped up Toru.

"I'm not sure that's helping…" He deadpanned.

"Well, does it hurt? Do you feel any different?" Kirishima asked curiously.

"Other than everything being so big and me being so small, no." He said with a groan. "Everything is gonna be so inconvenient now!"

"Well, this isn't the worst thing that could happen." Mina said as she patted his head. "If it makes you feel better you look cute."

He turned bright red hearing that, along with steam coming out from his ears.

"Whoa, how is that happening?" She asked in surprise as she pointed at the steam. "Are you running a fever?"

"No, I think he's embarrassed, he looks like a cartoon character." Spoke up Momo.

Aizawa moved over to the boy and crouched down before picking him up by the back of his shirt and set him down on a desk. "I might have to get you to the hospital to see if your body is dealing with any side effects. No telling if it's handling this change so easy. Did the villain give away any clues that might be useful?"

"Um… not really, all she really said was have fun with your new life...so I don't think anything she did to me is fatal, and she made it sound like she's done this before."

"Sounds like she might have a record. If there's a pattern of missing people down in the local area, then it means she must have a pattern on just who she would target." He said as Izuku perked up. "However if she is a seasoned veteren to what she does this might be harder, she might have mastered her quirk and knew how to cover her tracts, not to mention she has clients, so there's also the possibility they will attempt to break her out so she will continue providing them people affected by her quirk."

That caused Izuku to slump down and look at his arms before closing his eyes, his hands and cry out. "This is awful!" cried the tiny Izuku flailing his arms while jumping around which made most the class close to snickering. "What am I gonna do?!"

"Keep being adorable." Snickered Mina. 'So cute!'

"Relax. It can't be permanent." spoke Aizawa. "The girl will crack and is bound to reverse it. If not..."

"If not what, am I going to get kicked out of UA?!"

"Of course not. Right now you're more likely to take some time off since you can't help your condition. Think of it as a vacation."

"B-But I don't want to go on vacation, I want to go to school!"

"Relax, you'll still get homework so you don't fall behind. Just take this time to get used to your size and let us take care of that woman." Aizawa said as he shook his head. "The last thing we want is you to get hurt due to your new condition."

"But how can I not do anything to try and help?" He said as he began to pace back and forth across the desk. "How can I be a hero like this?"

"By staying out of the way." Remarked Bakugo bluntly.

"Bakugo!" Urakara cries out in annoyance. "Don't be mean to Deku!"

"What?" The first blonde growled. "Deku is useless right now!"

Hearing that made Izuku stop and look down with a gloomy aura over him and a chibi thunder cloud.

"Apologize!" Mina shouted as she smacked Bakugo before quickly turning to Izuku. "Hey hey cheer up Izuku, no need to feel down." 'Even if it still looks cute.' She thought as she rubbed his back. "You could still be a hero."

"I can?" He asked as he looked up hesitantly. "The villain said that I would be helpless now, what if I can't use my quirk?"

"Well have you tried to?" Asked Seto curiously.

"Well no, not really."

"Well then why don't you try so you know for sure?"

He looked at his hand and made a fist before looking around and spotted a backpack. He walked over to the edge and looked at it before rearing his fist. 'Ok, I can do this...smash!' he thought as he tried to channel his quirk, only for his body to slightly glow and when his hand hit the backpack it only fell over. "Ah! It didn't work!"

"I wouldn't say that. I mean, it did look like it flew back an inch or two." Spoke Toru trying to sound positive.

"It should have at least hit the wall! All I can do now is glow!" He cried out before falling face down while sniffling as they saw tears drip down the side of the desk which looked both sad, and yet someone adorable at the same time. "I really am useless now…"

"Yep." Bakugo said before anyone could stop him.

"Let me try something." Tsuyu moved over and carefully picked Izuku up and held him against her shoulder and patted his back. "There there, it'll be alright, you'll get your quirk back eventually, you can still be a hero."

"Absolutely! We merely must be patient and confident that the vile villain who did this will fix you!" Spoke up Iida with a confidant tone. "Don't give up yet Midorya!"

"Yeah, you just have to find a new way to be a hero, if an invisible person can do it then so can you!" Toru said as she jumped up happily.

"I know one thing that perks me up. A freshly made pie." smiled Sato. "I'll whip one up in no time flat."

"T-Thanks….all of you." Izuku said with a sniff as he began to cheer up.

"We still have a class you know." Spoke up Aizawa in a blunt tone.

"Ah, right! Everyone back to your seats!" Iida said as he began to wave his arms around.

(Later)

Izuku sat on his desk as Aizawa taught the class, trying his best to at least take notes, but it was awkward using a pencil with two hands. 'Ugh, why is this so hard?' He thought as he tried to keep up with the lecture.

"And that's how to respond to an emergency situation on your own, any questions?" Aizawa said as the bell rang. "Alright, you know what the homework is, make sure to turn it in tomorrow."

The class went and started getting their stuff together while Izuku lugged his notes and pencil to his bag, and tried to put them in before zipping it with a groan. 'Nooo, the bag is as big as I am!' He thought as he tried to put it on.

"Do you need some help?" Urakara asked as she saw him struggle to get off the desk and move.

"N-No, I'm alright I just… have to figure out how to do this."

"I think you do need some help." Remarked Kirishima.

"N-No, I'm fine."

"Hey, it's ok to admit that you need help, ok?" Iida said as Izuku groaned.

"Really, I'm….o….k!" he let out, falling over the side and crashing on the ground and groaned, his eyes looking like swirls. "Ow…..what happened?"

"You fell. That's it, we're walking you home."

"No no, I'm ok, really."

"Hey, I just realized that none of his clothes are gonna fit him now, what's he gonna wear?" Mina asked as she walked over to them.

"Probably something really small and tiny."

"Like his baby clothes? Hey, maybe we can stop by somewhere on the way to his house and pick him up something?"

"Good idea. We must also inform his mother of the situation." spoke Iida.

"Yeah, how about half of us go with Izuku to go get clothes and half of us go tell his mom?" Mina suggested.

'Wait, are they making plans for me? I haven't even agreed to anything yet.' He thought before finding himself picked up again. He looked up to see Mina holding onto him as Urakara took his backpack. "I'm not sure about that. Shouldn't I go home first so my mom can see what I look like?"

"Well, if she's anything like you she's probably gonna faint when she hears the news, so when you do get home she'll be awake again." Iida said as the others nodded.

"...ok good point." Izuku sighed. "So… where are we going to get clothes?"

"Hmmm, good idea. Baby clothes won't work, but they sure would look cute." Teased Mina.

"W-What?!" Izuku said with a blush.

"Yeah, and I doubt you want toddler clothes… hey, I got it!" Kirishima said with a grin. "The toy store!"

"Toy store?" Spoke Jiro with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, they're bound to have a few dolls around his size, so we can probably buy him some clothes there." He explained.

"Hmmm, that might work." spoke Momo.

"Wait, what if you made some yourself?" Suggested Mineta with a grin. "Then again it would take up a lot of skin to make that many clothes, you should probably strip~"

Tsuyu slapped the pervert away with him bouncing against the wall. "Nice try mister, ribbit."

"That's actually not a bad idea." Izuku spoke up.

"B-But if I did that I might upset the economy!" Momo said nervously. 'And I wouldn't get to take him to the toy store!'

"I suggest the store." Spoke up Todoroki. "I have some extra money to spare, so it would make sense to spend it on something useful for a friend." He said before holding up a plastic card. "I also have my old man's card, so if we racked up a large debt on it that would work too."

"Wow, Todoroki, that's pretty cold of you. Who are you?!" Fake gasped Mina.

"I'm Shouto Todoroki, you know that."

"Well, what are we waiting for, let's go!" Mina called happily, still holding Izuku in her grasp.

The group made their way out of the academy with Izuku blushing due to how close he was, but unable to say anything from shock.

'Is… is this my life now?' He thought as he turned even more bright red. Soon the group broke in two with half of the people going to his home and half to a large toy store. But one thing noticeable was the fact the girls were all going with him, with the girls casting a glance at his position. 'Was this intentional? Why are they all looking at me like that?' He thought as Momo tapped on Mina's shoulder.

"Excuse me, but do you mind if I try holding him for a bit?"

"Why?" She asked. "If you're worried I'll drop him then that's silly, I've got a good grip on him."

"No, it's not that, I was… just curious what he felt like, and hopefully I might be able to get a good mental picture of his size in case I ever need to make him something." She replied with a solid and calm tone while trying to not sound too eager.

"Um...I dunno.." Mina said, mentally trying to figure out any excuse to not give Izuku up.

"It's ok, I don't mind Mina." Izuku said, trying to be helpful. "You're probably getting tired from carrying me around for so long, right?"

"Not really, you're so light I could carry you without breaking a sweat." She said as she balanced him on one hand to show him. "You're pretty much as heavy as a large stuffed animal."

He blushed hearing that and looked down with Momo frowning.

"I insist, I feel it's only natural for others to help Midoriya since he's more vulnerable in his state. No offense."

"None taken…" Izuku said with a small groan.

"So please, hand him over Mina."

Mina looked annoyed, but she huffed and reluctantly handed him to Momo. 'Ugh….fine, just be careful, ok?"

"I will ensure he's perfectly safe." Momo said as she held him to her chest protectively, unaware of her assets pushing against him.

Izuku's jaw dropped feeling the chest with Urakara feeling her eye twitch.

'Does she even know what she's doing to Deku-kun?!'

'I wonder if that'll get a reaction from him.' pondered Tsuyu.

'W-W-W-Why is she holding me here?!' Izuku thought with a large blush as they began to approach the toy store. When they entered they looked around at the large inside. They saw that the store was several stories high and was packed with kids, teens, parents and tired workers.

"Alright, should we split up?"

"It'd make the most sense." Tsuyu said as the others nodded. "We'll text the others when we find the dolls, so who should take Midoriya?"

"I'll keep hold on him." Momo said quickly. "I just got him and I have the most money out of everyone here so I can start buying him clothes right away."

Urakara and the other girls felt irked hearing that, but didn't show it much with Izuku managing to speak up.

"U-U-Uh M-Momo-san? Ma-Maybe I should sit somewhere else?"

"Huh? Why? Are you not secure enough? Should I hold you tighter?" she asked with him shaking his head.

"I-I mean like on the shoulder!" he let out, not wanting to make it awkward.

"Really? Are you sure? You could fall o-"

"I'm sure, I'm sure!"

"You could ride on mine." Spoke up Tsuyu.

"It is fine, Izuku can ride on my shoulder." Momo said with a frown.

"I could carry him." spoke up Toru.

"It's fine, as I said before he can ride on my shoulder."

"Then why are you holding him so closely?" Asked Urakara with a calm smile and pointing to his spot. "You sure you're not up to something?"

"O-Of course not! I just haven't put him on my shoulder yet, that's all." She said as she moved Izuku to said spot, albeit reluctantly. "See?"

"Why don't we ask Izuku what he wants? Hey Izuku, do you wanna stay on Momo's shoulder or would it be ok if one of us held you instead?" Mina asked with a grin.

"Uh…." he saw them all stare at him making him blush and gulped. "Well, shouldn't we focus more on finding clothes at the moment?"

"Exactly. Me and Izuku will head upstairs and see what's on the next floor." Momo said as she began to quickly walk away.

Urakara and Mina glared with the latter girl shaking her fist. 'Sneaky.'

'If he stays like this for a while, maybe I could show my siblings to him. They'd get a kick out of him.' Thought Tsuyu.

"So, Izuku, what kind of clothes are you looking for?" Momo asked as they climbed up the steps, dodging a few kids that ran past them.

"Honestly I'm hoping it's something that won't slide off. I don't even wanna think about wearing clothes too big." He said with a groan. "I just hope they have something in my size, though in the end I just want to avoid being naked."

"Don't worry, we'll find something for sure." Momo said as Izuku nodded. "If we don't find anything here we'll just head to another store."

As she walked up the stairs though, her eyes caught site of a flashing glowing sign of some random chibi mascot advertising plush toys. 'Cute! I bet Izuku would look cute holding one of those toys… wait, is there any chance that chibi is like him? No… that's impossible, besides it's not like the idea of chibi anything is new, it's been around for a long time.'

Izuku looked around himself, but what he didn't notice was Momo's ponytail coming at him due to said girl turning her head, leading to him getting knocked off and flying off the girl. Now normally he would have just fallen to the floor, but due to his new body and it's strange new rules of physics he was sent flying across the store.

"Izuku, what do you think of that?" She asked as she turned to where the green haired boy had been, only to see him gone. "Izuku?"

Said small hero in training yelled out, which sounded like helium as he went over people's heads before he hit the belly of a huge plush teddy bear. He blinked as he sat up and looked around in confusion. "What happened, how did I end up here?"

He saw he was in an aisle filled with various toys and plushes, which made him feel more tiny than he already felt.

"Oh no, Momo? Mina? Tsuyu? Toru? Urakara?!" he called out, getting off the bear and noticing how high he was up on the shelf and backed up. "I feel like I'm on top of a building like this. I gotta try and find them." He said as he began to crawl over the bear he landed on in an attempt to move down the aisle. 'I'll find one of them soon, I mean I can see a lot from up here, so it should be easy, right?'

As that happened, we cut back over to the boys in Izuku's neighborhood.

"I believe I should be the one to inform Izuku's mother of the situation." Spoke Iida.

"Are you sure dude? You're not exactly subtle…" Kirishima said as they stood in front of the door.

"Yes. It is part of my duty and I feel I can describe it clearly."

"Tch, just say it how it is." Spoke Bakugo looking bored. "Why did I have to come, this is stupid."

"You're the only one who knew where Izuku lives."

"I don't get what the big deal is. He's small, tiny, and is with the girls." Grumbled Mineta looking irked. "Not to mention he's probably getting cuddled by them, fawned over by them, and with how tiny he is he's got the best view….GAH! I WANNA BE WHERE HE IS NOW!"

"Shut up perv, now...is one of us gonna knock on the door? We've been here for ten minutes." Sero said as he shook his head.

"I'll do it." Fumikage gave a firm knock as they waited in silence. Soon the door opened to show a slightly confused Inko who was looking at half her son's class on her front doorstep.

"Greetings Miss. Midoriya." bowed Iida. "You're looking well today."

"Oh, hello… Iida, right? How are you doing, is Izuku with you all?"

"No, he's with the others." Spoke Kaminari. "They're off to go get some new clothes."

"Clothes? Why would he need new clothes? Nothing happened to them here." Inko said in confusion.

"Well you see, he is in need of new ones." Spoke Iida. "Before he came to school, a slight accident happened which led the girls to take him to find ones that would fit him."

"A-An accident?! What happened to him, is he ok?!" Inko asked, growing nervous and worried.

"Well, kinda? I mean he's like a foot or two tall now, and he was almost kidnapped…" Kirishima said as he scratched his head.

Inko went wide eyed and slack jawed hearing that before swaying and fell back, fainting.

"Damn it shitty hair, you broke her!" Bakugo shouted as he smacked the redhead. "Come help me bring her inside."

"What? I was just being honest."

"And she passed out, congratulations! Ugh, I just hope things are going well with the girls." Groaned Kaminari.

With the girls at the toy store everything was not going well.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU LOST HIM?!" Screamed Urakara shaking Momo like a ragdoll.

"I-I-I-It was an accident!"

"YOU STILL LOST HIM!"

"Easy there!" spoke up Toru as she and Mina tried to pry the two apart. "We need to try and keep our heads on!"

"Yeah, we have plenty of time to find him, and I'm sure Izuku can handle himself." Spoke Tsuyu calmly. "Other than being small, he's still himself."

"But what if he gets kidnapped again?!" Urakara asked nervously. "He wouldn't be able to get away if someone grabbed him this time!"

"Oh come on, what are the odds of that happening again?"

Back with Izuku, he groaned while leaning against some boxes of action figures to try and keep going and not look over the edge. "Ok, stay calm, t-this is fine, you just have to stay safe and find one of the girls, simple, right?" He said, only for a young kid to fall against the shelf he was on, causing it to violently shake and start to tip. "Oh no!" He said as he lost his balance and began to fall. "Nooooo!" He cried as he braced himself, only to be surprised as he lightly bounced off the ground like he was made of rubber.

He blinked confused and bounced again before rolling on his side like a wheel before stopping against the shelf. "Huh…. I didn't know I could do that." He got up and poked at himself and swore it felt like jelly. "I didn't feel anything." He said as he looked around, and saw that he was alone in the aisle. "Ok, let's go find the girls."

He started to make his way down a direction while feeling nostalgic looking up at the packed shelves, like when he used to be a kid and would visit here more often. 'Wow, this is kind of fun, like I'm a kid again...heck some of these toys are bigger than me!'

He smiled while spotting the All Might ones with his eyes sparkling as he looked at them. "Wow, it's like I'm in front of millions of All Mights! So cooool!"

What he didn't notice as he gazed at them however was two men who spotted him from the other end of the aisle and were stunned.

"Hey, uh…. Is that a kid?"

"I...don't know? It's small but it almost looks...like a cartoon?"

"Kinda reminds me of one of those stupid mascots you see everywhere."

"Yeah… should we bring it to the manager?"

"Sure, why not?"

"Alright, let's just try not to scare it off."

"Yeah, alright." Said one of them as they slowly approached Izuku from behind. "Hey, bring over the loose toy bin, we can put it in there and carry it across the store without looking like child molestors."

One of them grabbed the bin while Izuku listed off which toys he had and which ones he didn't. 'Huh, I have a lot of these, neat.'

One of the man held his hand up before bringing it down, making the one with the bin move closer to Izuku.

"...now!" Called one as he grabbed Izuku and threw him into the bin.

"What? What is going on?!" He cried out, falling on his head. "Hey where am I?!"

"Alright, let's go Bob."

The men started to quickly rush away while staying close to make sure no one gave them weird looks. Soon they reached a door marked 'employees only' and quickly entered it.

"Hey, boss? We got something you should see."

There was a tall man in an orange shirt who was sipping coffee and sighed. "Well whatever it is can wait. I'm having my coffee break."

"I think you'll want to see him boss, he looks really, really weird."

"Who Bob? I already knew that."

"That hurt." He said as he held up the bin. "Nah, we found this weird thing looking at the toys, it kinda looked like the mascot."

"Wait… did you two idiots just kidnap a child?" The man asked with wide eyes. "I swear if you two are into some sick stuff, I will-"

"No no no! We swear it's not like that! I mean, it's like a kid, but at the same time it's….well take a look and you'll understand." He said as he opened up the bin to show a very, very confused Izuku. His eyes widened while dropping his mug as Izuku noticed all their eyes on him and gulped.

"Uh….hi?"

"What...the fuck. Are you human? You look like that thing we use to advertise toys! A...shit, Bob, what are they called?"

"Super Happy Fun Time Action Man?"

"Jeez, we really call them that? But yes, one of those!" He said as he stood up.

"I think it's called a chibi."

"Actually, my name is Izuku." Said the student. "And where am I? Am I still in the toy store?"

"First off, yeah. Second, where did you come from? Are there others like you? What's it like being so tiny?" Asked the man rapidly as Izuku shook his head.

"I don't know, I was hit by a weird quirk and became like this today, and it feels kind of weird, everything is so big!" He spoke while flailing his arms around which looked like blurs.

"Woah, what else can you do? Can you do stuff like a cartoon?" He asked as Izuku pondered.

"I'm not completely sure, but I don't weigh much and I bounce when dropped, I've also had steam come out of my ears when embarrassed."

"Just like what you'd expect from an ad." Remarked one of the guys.

"Yeah… hey, I think I have an idea boss, what if we make him one?"

"A what?"

"Ya know, an ad, use him to sell toys, like a...a… a mascot, that's the word!"

"...we already have one!"

"Yeah, but we can make him into the mascot, wouldn't that be neat? We have the chibi thing all over the place, why not use a real one?"

"Yeah, plus it would save on animation. I mean why use computers when we have a real one?"

"W-Wait, I didn't agree to any of that!" Izuku piped up.

"Do you have to? I mean, aren't you basically just a cartoon now?"

"No! I'm still a person! Student!" He denied. "This would be kidnapping! You can't do that!"

"Well, if you aren't a cartoon, prove it, so far you look like a living cartoon to me." Said the boss as he crossed his arms.

"How can I do that?"

"Mmmm, show us you only have one quirk, so far you've told us that you don't get hurt when dropped, steam comes out of your ears, that sounds like something a human couldn't do...say, what's your name?"

"Izuku Midoriya!" He said as the man typed something on his phone.

"Uh-huh… yeah, this picture doesn't look like you, the real guy is apparently five feet tall and has some kind of strength quirk."

"Well I already tried to use my quirk, but being like this nullified it."

"So apparently you're claiming to be a hero student who can't do anything, and doesn't look like who he claims to be?"

"Of course I look like myself! Just smaller…" He said as he looked down with a frown. "Look, I am Izuku Midoriya! I'm just small, and can't use my quirk….and I kinda look a bit different.. But that shouldn't matter, right?!" he said as Bob cleared his throat.

"Hey boss, I checked online and apparently if a person is changed enough by a quirk their status can be classified as 'undetermined'."

"Really now?"

"Yeah, apparently there was a guy a few years back who was hit by several quirks that both turned him into a teapot and made people around him not hear him, he was passed around a few times by pawn shops before he was turned back. So technically this guy ain't a human."

"What?! That can't be right!"

"Nah, it says so right here, see? Apparently one of the people who's quirk hit him was from a hero school so they pushed the law to try and get him out of trouble, along with the pawn shop's lawyers." Said Bob as he showed Izuku the article.

Izuku read the article, his face paling with each line read. "N-no...th-this can't be real…"

"Kid, we live in a world where people get all kinds of bat shit crazy powers, so new laws are made every year to try and keep up. Hell even All Might got a few laws made to keep himself from being drowned in property damage lawsuits."

"B-B-B-But…"

"Which means that technically, until the quirk wears off, you're not officially seen as a person."

"B-But the woman said it was permanent!"

"Well, do you have your inanimate-object-but-human- license then?"

"Well no, but-"

"Then there you have it, welcome to the happy-go-lucky toy store and company, your new home." Said the boss with a grin.

"Hey, uh, boss? Are we gonna keep him here or send him to a different store?"

"Here of course. Why send him somewhere else?"

"Well what if he used to live nearby and someone he knows sees him? They could cause a scene."

"Nah, it'll be fine….I think? Well either way he ain't leaving, he's got a new job, take him to Lisa in marketing, she'll know what to do with him."

"Right boss." Said Bob as he quickly grabbed Izuku and put him back into the bin.

"Good, now if you'll excuse me I have to file some paperwork to make this nice and legal...ish? Legal enough so we won't get sued."

"Hey wait! I didn't agree to this!"

"You're not human, you don't have to." Said the Boss as Izuku was carried towards an elevator. "Good luck."

"Wait, nooo! Let me go, I want to go back to school!" He called as he was taken in the elevator and began to travel up with Bob and the other worker. "This is a huge mistake!"

"Nah, the mistake was for you to come into a toy store all alone looking like that, have fun with your new job and life." Chuckled the boss. "Lisa is gonna go nuts when she sees him."

"But I have friends!" He cried out from the bin.

"And now you have coworkers." Bob said as he patted the bin.

"Ahhhhh!" he cried out as the elevator stopped and opened up to show a large office with several small cubicles in it and a large glassed off room with one desk in it where a woman was working.

"Don't go screaming or you'll bug the other employees." Said Bob as they headed to the large office. "Now be nice, and I apologize for whatever Lisa does to you, she's...eccentric."

"Uh, what do you mean by that?" He asked nervously as they entered the office.

"You'll see." He said as he cleared his throat. "Excuse me, uh...Lisa?"

"Can't talk! Too busy! Send it to me later and I'll read it then!" Said the woman who appeared to be a tall woman with long pink hair that was in thick dreadlocks and tied in a ponytail. She was wearing a white blouse under a black suit and a black skirt and was frantically working on a computer, her yellow eyes darting over the screen rapidly. There were multiple empty coffee cups littering the desk along with mountains of paper that had different designs for toys and advertisements on them.

"But Lisa, this is something big."

"It can wait!"

"No, he can't. Look." Bob said as he opened the bin to show Izuku.

The woman sipped from a cup before doing a spit take which hit the two men before going wide eyed while Izuku felt a shiver noticing something familiar about this woman.

'Why does this feel so familiar?' He thought nervously as the woman focused solely on him.

"Where...where did you find him?"

"In the store, he doesn't have a license so he belongs to the store now." Bob summed up quickly.

"He's so tiny…." She reached out and poked Izuku's stomach, making him jump and step back. "And squishy."

"He called himself a chibi." Bob added.

"Wait, is this some new toy?"

"No, he's real." Bob said. "The boss said to take him to you, he probably thought you would know how to use him, I think we might use him as the mascot?"

"C-Can I go now please?"

The woman grinned before picking him up and inspected him like a plush toy. "Hmmm."

"The boss said to give him to you, so I assume you're free to do whatever you want to him., any ideas?"

"Hush! I'm looking him over." She snapped, her eyes never leaving Izuku. "Hmmm, interesting, his clothes can come off, I wonder if other clothes he wears will act the same way he does?"

"Should we go and get some?"

"Mmmmm, sure, and if those don't work I'll see if I can get some made." She said as she pinched Izuku's cheeks and tugged a bit.

"Hey! Don't tug on that!" He said as she just chuckled.

"Hey, hey, it's ok, it feels like I'm playing with a living toy. Say, can you do any tricks?"

"I'm not a toy!" He cried out while flailing his arms and legs around in a blur.

"Yes! That's what I'm talking about!" She laughed. "Oh I have so many plans for you~"

"I'm a student! I just wanna find my friends and get back to school!"

"Not any more...say, do we have a new name for this little guy yet?"

"I don't think so, he said his name was Izuku Midoriya, but that'll probably change soon."

"Hmm...I feel like I've heard that name before…." She said as she narrowed her eyes before realizing what school his uniform was for. "Wait, did you go to UA?"

"Yeah." He said as her eyes brightened.

"Really? What a small world, do you know a girl named Mei Hatsume there?"

"Mei?" His eyes widened. "Yeah, she's all about making new gear to help. She even helped me out from time to time."

"That's my daughter! Oh this will be a fun story to tell her." Chuckled the woman.

"You're her mom?!" his eyes bulged out of his head comically. 'That's why she looked so familiar!'

"Yep! Now then, let's start figuring out what to do with you…. I'll have to come up with a name for you later."

"B-But I already have a name."

"That may be true, but I think we can come up with a better one, one that better suits you as a mascot or whatever else we decide to do with you."

"But I'm not a mascot!"

"Well not yet you aren't, we have to come up with an ad campaign, get you new clothes, it'll take a bit but I'm sure we can find a role for you." She smiled while she tossed him up in the air.

"Waaah!" he cried as he flailed around before she caught him. "D-Don't do that again!"

"Hmm, light enough to be tossed like a ball. Very important and useful info." She said with a nod. "We better run some tests to see just what exactly you can do."

"You could have warned me…" He groaned with a sweatdrop.

"Now where's the fun in that?" She chuckled as he groaned nervously.

'I hope this doesn't last long, soon the girls or somebody else will come and find me...right?'

With said girls, they were searching all over the store with worry.

"He's not by the All Might toys!"

"He's not by the dolls, where is he?!"

"I don't know and I'm really starting to freak out!" Mina said as she looked around frantically. "We have to find him!"

"Don't worry, we're bound to find him." Spoke up Toru before Urakara started shaking her.

"WE HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO WORRY!"

"URAKARA CALM DOWN!" Momo said as she began to shake Urakara.

"MOMO, YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN!" Mina said as she began to shake her as well.

"Yes, calm down before we get kicked out." Jirou said with a groan.

"You think they need a break after this?" Asked Tsuyu.

"Probably...oh no, here comes security." She spoke as two big guys in uniforms moved over.

"Excuse me ladies, are we having a little problem?"

"I LOST THE CHIBI!" Momo cried out.

"...ok, ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you to please leave the store and seek help for whatever narcotics you have ingested."

"Wait! It's not like that!" Spoke up Momo. "We're looking for our friend, he's lost and we can't find him."

"Uh-huh, alright, what does he look like?"

"He's small, a-and he has green hair, and he kind of looks like a chibi?"

The men looked at each other with one speaking into his walkie talkie.

"Yeah, we may need a few more extra hands down here."

"Yes! Thank you, so you're going to help us look for our friend?"

"No, we're going to escort you out and possibly call the cops. You all really need some help. You've got your whole lives ahead of you, don't go messing it up with drugs." He said, making Momo faceplant.

"I am not on drugs!"

"Ma'am, please leave now, this is your final warning."

"But Izuku might be lost or hurt!" spoke up Mina.

"Ma'am, if we find any missing persons in the store we will notify the authorities, but for now you all have to leave."

"Otherwise we WILL have to use force." Said another security guard as more showed up.

"Momo, I think we have to go now…"

"But Izuku could be in danger as we speak!"

"I know, but we can't help him if we get arrested!"

"But-"

"You all need to leave. Now." Said the guard as the girls began to shuffle to the exit. "If we see anyone you described we'll handle it."

"Thank you!" Mina called as they exited the building. "So… now what?"

"We better get back to school and inform the boys about what happened."

"Yeah...god this is going to be awkward."

"Probably not nearly as awkward as what they must be dealing with." Said Tsuyu. "They had to tell Midoriya's mother about his condition."

"I'm sure they've had plenty of time to explain the situation to her."

With said boys they were still trying to wake up the shocked Midoriya matriarch.

"Oh man, shouldn't she have woken up by now?"

"Nah, this is normal, Deku and his mom pass out for a while when shocked." Bakugo said as he riled around in the fridge.

"Bakugo! Now is not the time for that!" Spoke Iida while Kaminari tried fanning her. "That's stealing another's food when we were supposed to just tell her the news."

"Not my fault she got knocked out." He remarked bluntly before pulling a soda out and helped himself to it. "Besides, she should be waking up soon."

"On the upside this does get us out of taking notes." Remarked Mineta.

"Yeah, but have we worked out how to answer her questions when she does wake up?"

"How? We don't have all the answers so how can we answer her questions." Bakugo said as he finished his soda. "We just give her the truth, then leave."

The boys shook their heads before the mother started to groan.

"Oh...I had the strangest dream…" She muttered sitting up and rubbing her head. "Maybe I need some...tea?" She said, suddenly seeing all of Izuku's classmates in her house, and remembered what happened. "No...then...it really happened?"

"Yup, Deku's tiny now." Spoke up Bakugo making Iida facepalm. "He's also pretty much powerless now too, can't defend himself or anything."

"Oh no! My sweet son!" She cried out in horror. "This is horrible! He's all alone, defenseless a-and...and…"

"Wait, please calm down, he is fine, he's with some of our other classmates."

"Class...oh, I-I have to take him out of the hero course now, he can't be a hero now, can he?!"

"I wouldn't say that. I mean sure he's small, but he's still the same guy." Spoke up Kamishiro.

"Except his quirk doesn't work and he can't even knock down a backpack." Bakugo chimed in.

"Bakugo!"

"Relax ma'am, we'll find a way to fix him in no time." Spoke up Sato. "In the meantime we'll make sure that he won't get hurt."

The mother seemed unsure, but tried taking deep breaths with Mineta turning the TV on.

"Maybe some TV will take your mind off it." He said as Inko slowly nodded.

"O-Ok… do you know when my son will get home?"

"No ma'am, but we can assure you that the next time you see him, you will see he is just as you remember. In spirit I mean." Spoke Iida as the program was suddenly cut off with a commercial.

"Yeah, in fact I bet the girls will be back with him any second now."

"Introducing our latest and greatest product!" Called the pink haired woman on the TV with a grin. "It's new, it's cute and absolutely adorable, and our new mascot loves it!"

All of them turned and almost went slack jawed when they saw her gesture to Izuku himself! Wearing one of those cutesy outfits and a hat, with him blushing, and giving a shy wave to the camera.

"H-Hi…."

"Come on Iz-Iz, tell the folks about our new line of products!"

"T-That's my baby!" Cried Inko, looking both realized and horrified. "W-W-What's he doing on a commercial?!"

"I-I don't kn- wait, isn't this company the owner of the toy store the girls took Izuku too?" Iida asked as he spotted the logo at the top left of the screen.

"Yeah, I think it is."

"W-Well I'm sure the girls will be here any second with him, i-it's not like they tape these commercials live, right?" Sero said nervously as Iida got a text.

He looked at the text and read it, his eyes widening in shock, which Bakugo noticed.

"What is it?"

"T-The girls tell me they lost Izuku at the store…."

"WHAT?!" Screamed Inko, who wobbled again and wound up passing out face down on the floor, again.


	20. Chapter 20

List of oneshots part 4

chapter 20

Yui goes ahead and shows off a new invention.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Yui hummed as he hit something with a large hammer on a work desk. He was also using a saw at the same time while Cynthia was reading a history book while sitting in a chair.

"Daddy? What are you doing?"

"I'm creating something that will revolutionize the world. Something that will make it a better place. Something that will make people recognize me as the superior parent!"

"Wait, but I thought you and mommy weren't making any babies?"

"...whoops, wrong proclamation. I meant something that will recognize me as a real inventor. For some reason I get those mixed up." He chuckled as he scratched his head. "But soon, soon it will be time for my greatest invention!"

"What is it?"

"Ah ah ah, I can't just say what it is now. Something like this deserves a pointless and dramatic reveal to all. Why don't you go get your uncle? Let him know I've got something he'll wanna see, and make sure he goes to the testing area."

"Yes daddy." She said with a nod as she got up and began to walk out of the room. 'I wonder what he made?'

Yui let out a low chuckle while rubbing his hands.

(Few minutes later)

"Alright, is this the right testing room Cynthia?"

"I dunno, maybe?"

"What do you mean?"

"Daddy said just to make sure you went to the testing area."

"...there are over a hundred testing areas, which one did he mean though?"

"He didn't say."

"Well, let's just hope this is the right one then." He remarked as they went into one of the doors, and in the room it showed two men, with one of them having a helmet.

"Alright, ready to test this indestructible helmet?"

"Yep, bring it on!" Called the man with the helmet as the other one raised up his arm to show a gun.

"Starting test number one." He aimed at the helmet and pulled, but the bullet wound up bouncing right off, making him duck as it rikocheted around the room. "Take cover!"

"Wrong room!" Jack said as he slammed the door shut. He and Cynthia moved to the next one and opened it, but it showed one man chewing something while another one jotted on a clipboard.

"Alright, how does the experimental long lasting gum taste?"

"Well it's been an hour and so far so good."

"Nope, wrong room again."

They moved to the next, and inside it showed Yui reading a playboy magazine while leaning against something covered in a sheet.

"Ok, now this is the right room. Hey Yui, how ya doing? Cynthia said you had something to show me?"

"Ah yes Jacky boy, I do." he smiled, tossing the magazine aside and stood up. "And it's something so amazing that you will probably promote me to head scientist."

"Well, I'm head scientist, but go ahead Yui, show me what you got."

Yui moved over and grabbed the sheet. "I give to you, the Dance-Mech Suit MKI!" He pulled it off and showed off what looked like a futuristic looking suit of knight armor with two plasma gauntlets, turned off, a pair of thrusts folded up on the back, with matching ones on the back of the legs. "Tada!"

"...body armor? And it dances?" Jack asked, sounding unimpressed.

"It's not the armor that dances, it's whoever wears it that does."

"...why?" Jack asked with a sigh. "Why would the person wearing it dance?"

"Tell me Jack, have you ever heard a song you love? Love so much that it just makes you wanna get up and feel energized?"

"Sure, every now and then, why?" He asked in confusion.

"Well that powers the suit!" He beamed. "By listening to music that the person loves, this suit will literally pump them up. It stimulates the nerves and muscles in their body to work at ten times the normal power. And it only gets better. The stronger they like the song, the more their abilities increase. I'm talking speed, strength, agility, and in cases where they can't hear music? It has an emergency adrenaline pack that could make a snail bouncing off the walls and beat an olympic marathon runner."

"Wait, really? And what happens if they hear something they don't like, do they become weaker?"

"Nope. They just lose the boost. No aches, no pains, no bloody eyes, no explosive diarrhea, I think."

"Ok…. now who is going to test it?" He asked curiously. "I don't think you or I should be the first one to wear it in case something goes wrong."

"Can I wear it?" asked Cynthia.

"Did you finish your homework?" asked Yui.

"...no?"

"Then there's your answer."

"Aw, no fair!" She pouted before perking up and getting a devious grin. "How about Hyperion?"

"No way." frowned Jack. "I'll call in one of the lower ranked guards and we can put it on them, how does that sound Yui?"

"Well nameless grunts are very expendable, so I'd be offended if you DIDN'T offer." Yui said with a grin as he snapped his fingers and made one appear in front of them. "Here, I even picked one out for us to use!"

"What th- where am I?!" He asked, looking around while holding a sandwich. "Wait, this isn't the break room."

"Nope, but I have good news, you've been handpicked for a very, very special assignment!"

"Aw come on, can't it wait till after I'm done eating?"

"Nope!" Yui said with a grin.

"So, how does he put this suit on Yui?"

"It works like any old knight suit. Just gotta take it apart and slip the pieces on over the body. Don't you watch old fantasies that involve knights?"

"Wait, really? Huh, that sounds a bit inconvenient, is it just as heavy?" Jack asked as he rubbed his chin. "Anyway we could make it a bit like Venom so it can get on and off easily."

"Oh sure, suddenly change the alloy material of a new invention out of thin air. I'm sure that's completely plausible." remarked Yui sarcastically.

"I mean later, and I've seen you literally create nothing out of thin air, if anything that would be easy for you, right?"

"Of course it would be easy, but since this suit needs testing, I prefer to wait and see what happens before improving. I mean what's the point of making working devices without trial and error? That's what prototypes are for."

"Good point. Ok, get the suit on." Jack said as he turned to the guard. "Also, what is your favorite kind of music?"

"Well I kinda like rock n roll."

"Alright, I'll go get the sound system for the rooms set up, you help him get the suit on Yui."

"Ok." Yui walked over and picked the suit up with ease. "Alright, keep in mind any damage done to it will come out of your pay."

"Wait, what? Wouldn't any damages that happen be because of the faulty suit, not my error?"

"Perhaps, but like any project, it's better to blame the person who gets hurt. Now put it on."

"Um...how about no?" Said the guard as Yui frowned.

"You're gonna put that on and test it, or I'll have fun turning you into a sandwich and serving you up. How's that sound instead?"

"...so do I start with the pants or the top part?"

"That's what I thought."

(Later)

"So, how's it feel?"

"A bit snug, but not too bad." Remarked the guard looking at himself. "I feel like I'm in a video game armor, like from Halo."

"Shhh, if I get it patented they might sue me. Anyways, try to see how you can move around."

The guard nodded as he began to move around as Jack returned, holding a large controller and keypad.

"Alright, here we go, all we have to do is type in a specific genre of music or band or song, and it'll start playing on the speakers."

"Sweet. Nameless guard, give the voice command to the armor for it to turn on."

"Um….on?" he spoke, but didn't feel any different. "Uh...turn on?"

"Come on, you need to say it like you mean it."

"Ok, how about suit, turn on?"

"Activating." came a computer voice before the guard saw lights turn on in the helmet with blue lines appearing across the suit. "Awaiting audio input."

"Sidekick! Turn the music on!"

"Equal business partner! And fine." Muttered Jack as he hit a button, and soon AC/DC was blaring through the speakers.

"Ooh, I love them." Smiled the guard as he tapped his foot as 'Shoot to Thrill' started up. "Wow, I used to listen to this all the time in college while stoned off my ass."

"Ok, the next thing you should notice is several tiny points poking in your skin right...now." Spoke Yui before the guard jolted, feeling numerous pricks across his body.

"Ow! What was that for?!"

"To harness your power." Remarked Yui. "They need to go inside or else your muscles and electric neurons won't be affected. Think of it as getting numerous shots all at once, except you're not getting any medicine."

"Ok, and when does this start working?" He asked before he suddenly tensed up as the suit began to hum.

"Beginning muscular stimulant." Spoke the computer before the guard started to feel a tingling sensation go through his body.

"Whoa, I...I...feel amazing!" He spoke while the more he heard the song the more he tapped his foot. "Hey, I'm actually feeling way better than before. Like I could go for a jog."

"Well don't do that, just start dancing!" Yui commanded.

The guard started to jump up and down, letting the song get his body grooving and started to dance with it. "Oh yeah, now this is my song! Fuck all that pop song shit, THIS is real music!"

"Alright, now how does he fight like this Yui?"

"With weapons, duh. Nameless guard, tell the suit to show you the weapons."

"Ok, suit, show weapons!"

"Showing weapons." it spoke before bringing up a list of various weapons in the suit. "Shall I narrow down the selection?"

"Sure, list what I have to use." the guard said with a grin as he kept dancing.

"I'm already showing the list, dimbulb."

"Ok ok, uh….oh! Plasma gauntlets, what do those do?"

"They produce plasma on your arms, allowing them to cut through anything like butter."

"Sweet, let's get those going."

"Yes dimbulb." Said the voice as the guard's arms lit up with blue energy.

"Oooh." he raised them up and took a few practice swings while spotting a training dummy and crouched, only to jump high into the air, higher than average, and yelled before he came down and cut the dummy right down the middle. "Hahaha! This is amazing! I feel great, and so powerful!"

"Try out another weapon!" Called Yui and turned to Jack. "Try another song."

"Ok, how about… some irish folk music." He said as he typed it in and soon 'drunken sailor' began to play.

The guard began to slow down, but kept on dancing. "Wow, this song is pretty catchy. Not AC/DC epic, but pretty catchy."

"You can't go wrong with the irish rovers." Chuckled Jack. "What do you think Yui?"

"Ha! I practically invented that song. I was getting drunk and falling all over ships before you were born. At least I think so."

"That...might be accurate, who knows. Now guard, see if you can activate a new weapon."

"Ok! Uh...oh! Let's try the...gauntlet turrets." He said as guns rose up from the gauntlets and roared to life and began to spew gunfire in the direction he was facing. "Woooh! I feel like Scarface! Say hello to my two little friends!"

"Whoa, watch it!" Jack cried as he dove down to avoid the gunfire, right as a stray round hit Cynthia.

"That tickled." She giggled while getting several holes in her which easily closed back up.

"Ok, stop it, stop it!" Jack called out as the guard let out a laugh.

"Never! I feel so powerful, I bet I can finally do my job around those monsters without having to worry about them grabbing me and eating me!"

"Alright, time to test out the speed." Smirked Yui before he changed the song to 'Gas Gas Gas', making him stiffen up as the turrets go away. "Let's see if some eurobeat will help you get in the mood to really run. Give us an example of how fast you can go!"

"Engaging turbo thrusters in three...two…one….go." Said the voice before the guard shot forward, going straight through the wall.

"WAAAAAAH!" He screamed, moving his legs quickly and barreled through several walls at a time.

"...you really gotta strengthen those walls." remarked Yui to Jack.

"Those walls are two feet thick and full of rebar...he's gonna stop, right?" Jack asked with growing concern. "Yui… that suit doesn't play music, does it?"

"Well, it does have a set of wireless headphones situated in the helmet."

"Ok, so let me get this straight… we have a full armored, super powered guard who is out of control who has an endless supply of energy running around the zoo?"

"With high tech weaponry, don't forget that."

"Of course." Jack said as they heard an explosion in the distance. "Shit."

"Don't worry, I'm sure your men will be able to distract him, right?"

"Yeah, but for how long?" He said as we cut to said guard who had broken through the wall of a holding area.

"Wow! I had no idea I always wanted music like this." He spoke while front flipping several times, making any workers quickly stop and stare when he broke through and went through another. He reached an area that had several lamia soaking up artificial sunlight on a dry desert area and began to slow down. "Crap crap crap, I'm losing juice!"

"Hey, look at what we've got here girls."

"Ooh, man in a can, anyone got a can opener~?"

"I'll bet he has a juicy peach center~"

"Crap!" The man sweated nervously seeing them moving towards him. "I ran too far away from the music!"

"Would you care to activate wireless headphones?" asked the computer.

"Wait, this helmet has those?"

"Yes, would you like me to play some music? I have many different types and genres a-"

"Yes, yes, any kind is fine!"

"Understood, shuffling everything now."

"And please hurry!" he spoke while finding himself surrounded by the lamia, who had their bare breasts on display.

"Let's get this guy out of his shell and see what they're made of~"

"I call first taste."

"No way, I want fi- wait, do you hear that?"

All of them listened and heard what sounded like music coming from the suit.

"What...is there a speaker in there? Hey, anyone know what this guy is listening to?"

"Not a clue."

"Sounds like...country?"

"Who listens to that anymore?" Asked one before an arm shot out and grabbed her by the tail. "Wait, wha-aaaaahhhhh!" She cried as the man lifted his arm up and began to swing her around like a lasso.

"Yahoo! Now this brings back memories!" He laughed as the lamias looked at him in confusion and surprise. "Now let's have us a hoedown!"

"A what?" Asked one lamia before he grabbed her and began to tie her to the other lamia he had grabbed by their tails. "Hey! What the hell are you doing?!"

"Making me a lasso and getting revenge!" He laughed before turning to the other lamias who went wide eyed.

"Slither!"

"Come back now ya'll, we're just getting started!" He called and ran after them and zoomed around them, cutting them off in the blink of an eye and grabbed the nearest one making her scream. "Come now, time for some REVENGE!" He laughed as the suit's eyes glowed red.

"EEEEK!" she let out while Yui and Jack ran as fast as they could through the holes.

"Crap crap crap, this is going to cost an arm and a leg to fix!"

"Or a whole body if the suit blows up."

"Hey Yui, this won't drive the guard crazy, right? He'll still be sane, right?"

"Uh….that depends, all your guards went through intense training to keep a disciplined mind in crazy times, right?"

"...kinda? At first, yes, but this job wears on you, and the girls don't make it easy, plus I get so many new hires a few don't get training."

"Well then I'm sure as long as he remembers who he is, and doesn't start getting a god complex, we should be good to go."

"KNEEL BEFORE ME!" came a loud yell followed by an explosion and bullet fire.

"I'm gonna say he got a god complex, and pretty fast too."

"Shit."

The two of them ran faster and reached an area, only to duck when a guard flew over their heads and saw other guards firing on the one who was launching out bullets and missiles all over the place. In short, it was a literal war zone.

"Shit! God damn it! Fuck!"

"He broke out of the snake corral, he's heading to another containment area!"

"Get the tear gas! We'll make that son of a bitch tear up like a baby and take him out!"

"Yui… I think your suit works too well."

"I know, you're welcome." He remarked smugly while crossing his arms. "So, how many can I put you down for?"

"None until psychological tests can be done, and until we can stop the idiot tearing apart my zoo!"

"Relax, we can be scared and horrified, but only IF it plays heavy metal, but I doubt that."

"I HAVE THE BIGGEST BONER RIGHT NOW!" Laughed the guard before he heard the music start to change.

"Now playing Let the Bodies Hit the Floor."

"Wait, what does that do?"

"It is the next song, you jackass."

"Oh….I knew that." He said as the suit began to hum with power. "Hmm, not bad, I like it!" He grinned as the weapons slid back into the suit, but the glowing red lines lit up brighter as he started to rock his head back and forth, with the suit transforming and bulking up, growing bigger.

"Oh….uh Jack? Promise you won't get mad."

"Yui….talk." Jack said, his expression unreadable.

"Well you know how Tony Stark has the Hulkbuster armor?"

"You didn't...really?!"

"I thought it would be cool!" He spoke before the guard let out a loud roar from the suit, said suit now looking bulked up with the bullets fired from the other guards bouncing off it with it not getting damaged. "I mean come on! Who wouldn't wanna use that kind of armor?"

"THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE! I WANNA FIGHT THE BIGGEST, BADDEST BITCH HERE!"

"On the upside, at least I think it's also taking away his natural born sense of fear. I mean that's useful, right? Right?"

"Yui, this is a highly secure facility that houses some of the most dangerous creatures in the multiverse! A giant robot may be useful sometimes, but not always!" He yelled before they saw the suit start running in a direction, smacking regular guards aside without trying and crashed right through another wall.

"Well then it's time I do what I should have done. Smash up my own shit." spoke Yui cracking his knuckles. "Just tell me where he might be heading and I'll cut him off."

"Well, judging by his path of destruction and his former occupation, he might be following his old work route, he would first watch over the snake corral on monday, then on tu- oh shit, he's heading to the giants!"

"Giants here I come!" Yelled Yui before he slid into the shadows while Jack took off running.

With the guard his heart was racing, the heavy metal getting his adrenaline running at full force. He was crashing, stamping, and overall demolishing everything in his path without stopping. "Yes, yes, I've always needed this, now I can get revenge for the broken bones, the teasing, the near death experiences!"

"Shall I increase the volume?"

"Hell yeah, crank it up!"

The song went louder and could be heard through the suit as the guard started to jump when he ran, causing him to fly over several personal who saw him and barrel through the walls without touching the they did so various creatures and people began to escape through said walls and holes.

"Prison break girls!"

"Alright! Smash and grab!"

"Dibs on a cute one!"

As that happened, we pan over to one area that was enormous, with various huge trees in it and large lumbering females dressed up in dresses, skirts, tops, and even a few stockings made from the natural resources. They yawned, feeling a bit bored when suddenly one of the walls exploded inwards.

"FIGHT ME MATILDA!" Roared out the guard, catching them all off guard as the guard huffed in the armor with a growl. "FIGHT ME YOU BITCH!"

"Hey, what is that thing?" asked one.

"Some kind of robot?" guessed another who was munching on a bush in her hand filled with berries. "But why does it want Matilda?"

"I dunno, someone go wake her up. Do you think there's someone in there or is it just a robot?"

"Bring her out here!" roared the guard pointing at them. "I'm gonna kick her ass!"

"Alright, alright, I'll go wait her up, just get ready to die midget." One got up and walked away while the others moved over and crouched down to look closer.

"Say, what are you?" She asked as she poked him, making him stumble back.

"Don't act like I'm some stupid toy!" he snapped at her while clenching his hands. "I'm the guy who is gonna show Matilda, and ALL you giants you don't fuck with me now."

"...do we know you?" She asked as he growled angrily as the song began to end.

"YES! You arrogant women keep teasing me every single time it's my job to watch your huge asses!"

"Hey! My ass isn't big, it's petite!" She growled angrily. "Forget waiting for Matilda, I'm dealing with you now!" She shouted as she stood up and prepared to kick him.

"Ha, bring it on, I'm invinci- wait, what?" He said as the song stopped and classical music began to play, causing the large battle suit to shrink back to normal. "Hey, what's going on?!"

"The song ended, it was only three minutes long, and you have me shuffling music. Also, watch out for the foot."

"Wait no! Turn it-" He was cut off and found himself kicked, going flying through the air. "AHHHHH!"

"Fuck you!" Cried the giant as he flew out of their holding area.

"Would you like me to play a different song?"

"I NEED SOMETHING THAT GETS ME BACK IN THAT BIGGER MODE! ALSO SOMETHING THAT KEEPS ME FROM DYING!"

"That mode has a ten minute cool down period, but I shall find a new song that meets your requirements." She said as a new song started up as Jazz began to play through the speakers as 'Why Me' by big bad voodoo daddy started up. Soon the suit began to change, the legs molding into rockets as the guard found himself flying.

"Oh come on! You mean I gotta wait ten minutes before I can smack those giant bitches around? You could've told me that sooner!"

"You didn't ask, you just got strong and became wild with power. Also, brace for impact."

"Impact?" He said before he flew head first into a wall. "OW!"

"That one."

"Oooh." he groaned pulling his head out and shook it. "Fuck that hurt."

"Yes, and now you are falling, brace for impact again."

"Shiiiit!" he cried out as he went falling down and hit the ground, forming a crater and laying on his back. "Oooh….why doesn't this thing have airbags?"

"The creator saw them as stuffy and would take up too much space meant for the weaponry."

"Ugh...damnit...wait, where am I, I don't remember guarding this spot before." he asked looking around and noticed it was a darker area with what looked like moist ground, barely any light, and numerous trees.

"Unsure, my database does not contain vast records of the facility."

The guard pushed himself up while calming down due to the jazz song and looked around. "Well at least tell me you have some sensors."

"I do, and I can tell that we are not alone."

"No duh." He muttered before seeing several red silhouettes around on the screen, moving towards him. "Crap, I need something more upbeat, now!"

"Yes dum-dum, how about walkin' on sunshine?"

"...please tell me you're messing with me."

"It is quite upbeat, is that not what you wanted?"

"Well yeah, but-"

"Maaaaaaan~"

"Maaaaaaannnnn~"

"Oh shit." he gulped while hearing the song start playing, much to his embarrassment. "G-Get me out of here!"

"Boosters need time to recharge."

"What?!" He cried before he heard the scuttling of several dozens legs as the sensors showed the figures moving closer. "No no no! T-Turn on a light or something!"

"Turning on lights." The voice said as the suit lit up, to reveal around a dozen women with the lower half of centipedes surrounding him, predatory looks on their faces.

"I smell a man~"

"It's not some smelly robot, I smell him too~"

"I want him, let's open him up~"

"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" He screamed backing up and losing strength. "This song isn't helping!"

"Shall I increase the volume?"

"JUST CHANGE IT!" He shouted as he kept backing up until he bumped into something soft. 'Oh please tell me that's a pillow.'

"Oh my, so forward, you better take responsibility~"

He gulped and slowly turned his head and saw one of the girls right there, but noticeably much bigger.

"If I knew we were gonna have company, I would have freshened up, maybe cleaned the place a little, but I guess what we're about to do is just gonna make it nice and messy anyway~" She grinned while licking her lips.

"S-Sorry, I was just passing through, so uh, bye now!" He waved and tried to run, but several of them quickly scurried and cut him off with giggles as the others circled around him, each of them looking like starved coyotes.

"Oh come now, you didn't think it would be that easy, did you~?"

"Why don't you hold still and let us crack open your shell? We wanna see what your soft center is like~"

"I am sensing a danger to the suit, would you like me to play a new song?"

"I need something to get me out of here!"

"YELL AND I SHALL APPEAR!" Cheered out a voice, making the girls and guard look up as Yui was standing on a branch holding a vine. "You there! Get away from my suit!"

"Shit, it's one of the big honchos, scatter!"

"Forget it!" hissed one of them with a scowl. "I haven't gotten any dick for years and I'm not giving up this one!"

"So you have chosen death." Spoke Yui before stepping back and started swinging on the vine down to them. "Aaaaaah aaaaaah haaaa-"

Only to find himself going past them and slammed face first into a tree.

"...let's tear open the metal man!"

"YEAH!"

"SHIT!" he cried out and found himself tackled down with the bodies wrapping all around himself, restraining his limbs while the leader trailed her hands across the head and chest.

"Let's see, where do you unhook this thing?" She chuckled as she tried to find some way to take off the suit. "You and me are gonna have fun~"

"Y-You don't want me! I-I'm a real man toy! I fuck hookers all the time! I'm full of more STDS than Hugh Hefner!"

"Then you should have plenty of experience~"

'SHIT!' He thought as Yui pulled himself free, shook his head, and pointed at them.

"Hey! Hands off the prototype!"

"Then pop the guy out and you can take your stupid suit, we just want the dick!" Shouted one of the girls in annoyance.

"No way! The dick is coming with!" Yui ordered as he crossed his arms.

"Oh come on, just throw us a bone here damn it!"

"Ok." he shrugged before reaching into his hood and pulled out a bone. "Who wants the bone? Who wants the bone? Is it you? Do you want the bone?" he asked, waving it around with a cutesy tone.

"Fuck you!" Growled one of the girls in annoyance. "We aren't dogs!"

"Sorry, my mistake, it's just that you were all acting like a bunch of bitches so I got confused." He shrugged making all of them growl. "All I need is a few collars, leashes, and dog treats, and you could give the kobolds a run for their money."

"That's it! Honcho or not, this bastard is dead!"

"Yeah!" They growled as they let go of the guard and rushed towards Yui.

Yui wagged his finger with a smirk before he slunk into the shadows and vanished, making them stop and look around.

"Hey! Where'd he go?"

"He's hiding like a coward!"

"No! I'm running like one!"

All of them turned and saw Yui with the guard, slinging him over his shoulder and waved.

"Bye ladies, try not to chew on your asses." He called as they let out a roar of rage. "I'll be back later with a few biscuits and chew toys!"

"Hey, get back here!" All of them lunged at him, but he vanished in the shadows again, causing them to crash together in a large pile, tangled up in each other.

With Yui he reappeared on the other side of the wall, with a very confused guard. "And thus, my good deed for the day is paid."

"Uh...thanks?"

"No prob." Yui dropped him on his stomach. "Now get out of my suit."

"Um… do I have too?"

"I could just return you back to that pen in only your underwear."

"Ah! Ok ok! You can have it back."

"Good." smirked Yui, right as Jack ran over, out of breath, sweating, and looking close to throwing up. "Hey Jack, where you been?"

"Following you! You cut over several enclosures so I had to go around them!" Jack groaned."So, you got the suit and the idiot who caused several security breaches and million in damages?"

"No I kept the suit here and sold him to the black market, of course I got him and the suit back."

"Alright, alright, for all I know you dragged the sucker out and dropped him in the mershark tank and you were holding an empty suit."

"Silly Jack, if I did that, you'd never know." Chuckled Yui in a dark tone.

"At this point I wouldn't blame you, and the point I was making was I couldn't tell if the guy was still in the su- you know what, forget, just get him out of there before he does anything else."

"On it." Yui reached down and put his hand on the head, making the suit glow blue before it suddenly started to unlatch and fall to pieces, literally, leaving the guard exposed. "Done."

"Good, now it's my turn to deal with him." Jack said darkly as the guard gulped. "You fucking IDIOT! Do you have any idea how much you fucked up?!"

"Uh….a lot?"

"A lot doesn't even begin to cover it! And Yui, I am not buying that damn suit!"

"Aw come on! It was working awesome! I mean with the weapons, the boost in abilities-"

"Not worth it!" Jack cut off. "It's too unpredictable! What happens if it hears two songs at the same time, or it makes everyone go power hungry?!"

"Oh please, every person has a thirst for power, they just can't quench it unless given the chance."

"And that makes this suit too powerful! In fact, I'm banning it from my labs!"

"Oh come on, every invention goes through trial and error."

"Then you do that on your own time! You give me a suit that is easier to control, THEN we can talk business!"

"Fine, but I'll hold you to that." Yui said with a sigh. "So, what do we do with test subject number one?"

"Oh I've got a long list in mind for him." Jack said as the guard gulped.

'Maybe I should have stayed with those centipede girls.'


	21. Chapter 21

List of oneshots part 4

chapter 21

Yui fights against Class 77-B before they can run wild.

Series: Danganronpa

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We find ourselves at the Hope's Peak Academy, a place meant to nurture and help those with great abilities...with the place on fire and in chaos with the students killing each other around the outside, while in one of the classrooms is where we find class 77-B. They were discussing their attack strategy.

"So first, Peko and Fuyuhiko strike here, at the northernmost part of town!" Said Fat Togami, AKA The Ultimate Imposter. "There you two will lead together a small army to help spread despair more easily."

Fuyuhiko pulled out a phone. "Hey! Tell the boys it's time to mobilize! Northernmost part of town!"

"Next! Nekomaru! You, Akane and I will attack the Western most part of town!"

"Our fighting spirit will tear them all apart!" boomed Nekomaru with a grin while smashing his head through a desk.

"Yeah!" Then they fist bumped! Chest bumped! Then were about to have sex but then-"

"Can you horny pigs wait till after we've taken over the world?" Asked Hiyoko.

"Yeah, if you're patient I'll give you guys the strongest aphrodisiacs ever." Said Mikan.

"Oh quit being stuck ups." she smirked smugly. "Too shy to watch how some real fucking gets done?"

"They have a point. We're in the middle of planning our attack." Said Fat Togami.

Akane pouted.

"Next, Komaeda and Gundham, you will attack the southernmost part of town!"

"Why must I, Gundham Tanaka, Supreme Overlord of Ice, go with this foolish man?" He then pointed to Komaeda who was in the corner, back towards everyone.

"Is he jacking off his penis with a bagel again?" Asked Kazuichi.

"I'm afraid so."

"Hope, hope, hope, hope..." He moaned.

"Oooookay, next for the western most part of town, Kazuichi, you, will be taking Ibuki, and Mahiru to attack that part of town meanwhile Sonia, you will take Teruteru, Hiyoko and Mikan to assault the center of town!"

"It will be a glorious massacre."

Then Teruteru turned to Komaeda. "Hey, you done with that bagel? I'd like a turn with it!"

"All...most...HOOOOOPE!"

The other students winced and cringed as Komaeda painted a wall white like his hair.

"Ah...ah...ah...ok...now I am." Then he tossed the bagel to Teruteru.

"Masturbate on your own time! We must attack now!" Said Fat Togami.

"Fine, but I better have a lot of time afterwards!"

"Now class, I'm sure you'll have plenty of time for that." spoke up Chisa with a smile.

"What about me?" Said Izuru, in a low and unsettling voice.

"Y-you're our back up Johnny Youn-er Izuru Kamakura." Said Fat Togami.

Knock knock

The class turned to the door and saw it open, revealing one of the many faceless students who was panting.

"I...need to...tell you all!"

"What happened?"

"A man...of monstrous power is coming...to stop you all..." he groaned before dropping down and showing numerous stab wounds on his back.

"Looks like you may need my help." Said Izuru.

"In a little bit. Everyone, be on your guard out there." Said Fat Togami.

"I could try and see if I can get some pictures." suggested Mihiru.

"He won't stand a chance, but then again, neither will I when I let him step all over me and my genitals for the sake of hope." Said Komaeda.

"I'm gonna show him what my music can do when it rocks the roof down!" ceered Ibuki while strumming several chords, only for it to go quiet as they all heard another knock at the door.

"Is that another dead Junko fan?" Said Chisa.

"Someone go check it." spoke Hiyoko looking at Kazuichi.

"Don't look at me, look at my metal pal."

"I don't wanna look at your vibrator."

"I meant look at my little robo friend!" Then he pulled out a remote and a robot walked around from behind Kazuichi.

"Metal Kazuichi's got this covered!"

"I'd like the metal vibrator if you got one." Said Teruteru.

The class all saw the robot move over to the door and grab the handle, only for it to fall down and right on top of it.

"Lucy I'm home!"

They all looked at the man who stood before them.

"And you are?" Asked Izuru.

"C-could you b-be...B-beyonce!?" Asked Teruteru.

"Ha! Beyonce wishes he was me." chuckled the figure who was cloaked in nothing but a black...cloak. "No my children, you may call me the most handsome, daring, sensatiable, charming, sexiest, hot, cute, intelligent, breathtaking-"

"Just get to the point already!" Said a man in a green shirt that had the word "wild" on it, black pants and socks and sandals.

"Ow! You don't have to karate ch-hey, this is my story, what are you doing here Trahzo?"

Trahzo said nothing as he turned and stared at Gundham.

"Another intruder in our sacred area?"

"Hey there guys, gals and whatever the real gender of this imposter is...I am Yui, king of the sex gods." posed the figure with a smile. "And crack pairings."

"Excuse this guy's mentality, I'm pretty sure whatever force created him, dropped him when he was a baby."

"How did you both get in here!?" Said Peko, pointing her sword.

"I decided to drop on by and see the class that was gonna go on and fuck up the world, on my own." spoke Yui while looking at Trahzo.

"I heard there was a powerful creature master, so I decided to break in." Said Trahzo.

"Fine, go play with Edgy Dr. Dolittle, but if you get in the way of me when I'm disciplining these students, I'll introduce you to Invankov."

"Alright alright, have fun kids."

"Kill them, especially the flamboyant man! Kill him and then Mikan you revive him and then we kill him again!"

"I'm gonna lurk in the shadows and watch this massacre with a video camera." Said Trahzo.

"Now kids, let's be calm. After all, we need to hear his reason first before showing him despair."

"Okay...talk..." Said Kazuichi, as he got a robot ready to attack.

"Ok, I'm gonna be frank. I know what you all become, what goes down, and I came to see if I could talk some sense into you all." spoke Yui calmly. "I know what you all are like. Are you really gonna let that hot, sexy, but demented bitch Junko warp your minds? Is this something Chiaki would want? Don't forget it's because of Junko she was killed, and you ALL saw that."

"But then she'll have me or her sister Mukuro send another one of these people to their death." Said Izuru.

"He's right, we must do this or we'll see another one of us die!" Said Fat Togami.

"Now take this! Miley Cyrus!" Then Teruteru threw iron barbeque skewers.

"Miley what?" Yui caught the skewers and then Akane ran at him and tried to kick him! He quickly bent his spine back, watching her fly over and crash into the door before he put his spine back together. "Damn, no underwear."

"Can't have sex with me when underwear's in the way!" Then Nekomaru picked up Yui, threw him in a locker, closed the locker and then proceeded to flatten said locker!

"He's dead!"

"Alright, back to-" Then Fat Togami took a sweet potato pie to the face!

"I don't die that easily." Said Yui.

"It's true, I've put so many bullets in him, I'm surprised his body isn't made of bullets at this point." Said Trahzo from the shadows.

"Trahzo!"

"Okay everyone, my turn." Said Komaeda. "Please, step on my worthless ballsack with these high heels, use me as a stepping stone towards hope."

Then Peko shoved him out of the way and started swinging her sword!

"A sword ain't worth shit against these!" Yui pulled out pistols from his sleeves and shot at her.

She was swift, dodging all of the shots!

"Yeah, you can do this Peko!" Cheered Fuyuhiko. "Show this idiot what you got!"

"Small breasts?" Yui guessed, making Peko narrow her eyes and lunge at him, stabbing him through the chest. "Ow! What? What'd I say?"

"Peko's boobs are bigger than you think, I should know..."

"This is unfair, why is everyone getting laid besides me!?" Complained Kazuichi as he walked up to Yui.

"Hah, you want some of this or you wanna get laid?"

"Depends, you wanna touch my socket wrench?" Then Kazuichi got a boot to the face! "Dammit, that pick up line never works!"

"Now then." Yui grabbed Peko by the sides of her head and slammed their foreheads together, sending a ringing sound in her head and making her fall back and hold her head while the sword was still in him.

"Fucking ow dude!" Shouted Kazuichi.

And then Ibuki jumped into the fight, firing off powerful soundwaves from the amp connected to her electric guitar!

Yui looked up and rushed over to the teacher's deck for cover. "Now, ear plugs activate!" He shouted from behind the desk.

"Hiding ain't gonna do shit for sound!"

The desk blew up but not Yui, but that's when he got punted by Nekomaru!

"AHHHHH!" That's when the airborne Yui was assaulted by Giant Condors!

"Attack him my winged allies! Make him regret the day he challenged us!"

"Oops, I tripped over, and fell on Akane, who fell on Fat Togami, who fell on our teacher, who fell on Sonia, who fell on a cardboard cutout of Chiaki, who fell on Gundham." Said Komaeda as dazed Gundham couldn't command the condors therefore ending the assault.

"Ha! Your birdbrains ain't got shit on me!" Yui then got to the floor and ice punched Hiyoko!

"Oooooh, that was nasty!" Shouted Kazuichi. "But oddly funny, glad I got that on camera."

"Don't...post it...online..." Hiyoko threatened.

"Awww." he let out, only to find Yui tackling him and pulling him into a headlock. "Hey, let go!"

"Don't worry, you won't die, you'll just be my human meat shield."

"Meat sh-" Akane came in with a drop kick that hit Kazuichi square in the face.

"He's kicking our butts!" Said Fuyuhiko before pulling out a phone. "Get me as many of my men as you can!"

"Hiya!" cried Yui who chucked the mechanic, knocking Fuyuhiko down. "See? Even a desperate mechanic can find love, with another dude." Then Yui took a wrench to the forehead! "Ha! I've gotten hit on the heads too many times to feel any pain from that!"

Then Izuru finally stepped in, hitting Yui with everything he had! Since Izuru is the Ultimate Ultimate, he hit Yui with Ultimate Martial Artist skills, Ultimate Gunman Skills, Ultimate Swordsman skills, Ultimate Wizard magic, and Ultimate Spy skills!

All of which caused massive damage to his cloak and shredded most of it, sending him crashing and making a hole through the blackboard. "Damn...it's impressive that you've done this much to me." he remarked while stumbling, only to grin as his form repaired itself. "But that's merely a flesh wound compared to what I've been through."

"Regeneration!?" They all gasped.

"Damn right mothafuckers!" he laughed while his body seemed to ripple and twitch. "What's wrong? You feeling despair or loss of hope? I'll bet Junko would be soaking wet to see those expressions."

"Noooooo!" They all shouted before they all jumped at once at Yui!

'Damn, you really got them going.' Said Trahzo who was recording the whole thing.

Yui laughed while they all tried punching and clawing at him, only for his form to start shifting. "Oh, you wanna play rough? Then let's play rough." He sprouted iron vibrating tentacles!

"Holy Joe Zeija!" Gasped Teruteru.

"Boo references I don't get!" yelled Yui as the tentacles lashed out and grabbed four hamsters.

"No! My 4 Dark Devas! Grr...Mirage Golden Hawk Jum-P, cast ice lance!"

"I shall now squeeze them like squeaking toys!" laughed Yui before squeezing the hamsters, before they literally let out squeaks each time.

"Huh? Hah, that's hilarious."

"No!"

"I'll save them!" Then Akane rapid punched Yui's crotch!

"Ooooh~" He moaned in pleasure. "I came from that."

"Allow me to try!" Then Nekomaru grabbed Yui's buttcheeks and ripped them off in one go!

Only for them to repair right away.

"Huh!?"

"Surprise bitch!"

"My turn!" Then Mikan impaled Yui with a needle and pressed the plunger, injecting him with cyanide!

"That won't kill me either." Said Yui. "If anything, I can inject something into you and you'll be twitching, and it ain't poison~"

"With my ultimate meditation, I've gathered enough Ki energy, everyone stand back." Said Izuru who then fired off a giant laser! "Don'tsuedon'tsue haaaaaaaaa!"

Yui saw it come at him and looked at the readers before pulling out a sign that read 'mommy' before getting consumed by the laser.

"Mind if I add more juice?" Then Kazuichi had a robot fire a laser that combined with Izuru's, making it even bigger!"

"Oh my Britney Spears, you may actually win!" Gasped Teruteru.

"End this plebeian!"

After 10 more minutes, the laser pewtered out and there was a huge charred hole in the classroom.

"We did it!"

"And Yui's atoms should reform in 3...2...1..." said Trahzo.

"I'M BACK BITCHES!" he cried, reforming while decking the ultimate coach and mechanic in the solar plexus. "And I am pissed." Then he snapped his fingers.

Then an unholy primal roar was heard.

"What was that? That was no animal!" Said Gundham.

"Oh it's an animal alright, but one you won't be able to keep from slaughtering you all. At first I debated on whether or not I should try and save you all, but...yeah, all the hits to the head convinced me to go the easier way."

That's when a bear claw with pig skin punched through a wall.

"What in the world is THAT?!"

"Manbearpig, Al Gore's arch nemesis."

Then the monster burst through the wall, revealing itself and then with one swipe, Hiyoko's face looked more like a fleshy unplanted farmland before she fell to the floor lifeless!

"Get it!"

"Oh! Oh! Quick, camera guy, do a whole lotta shaky cam, I'll flicker the lights on and off to make it like a bad B-horror where they don't exactly show you the gore."

Then Yui and the cameraman did their things as the kids charged Manbearpig!

"Die you abomination!" Shouted Fat Togami.

"Will you stop flickering the light? I'm trying to get a good shot!" Shouted Mahiru.

"Oh my, it seems you have not only tore off my arms, but also brutally castrated me and tore off my h-" said the severed head of Komaeda.

"There he goes!"

Akane and Nekomaru tried, but Manbearpig's overwhelming strength slammed their skulls together so hard, they exploded!

They kept fighting as Yui started making ghost moans.

"Where is that bas-"

Then Manbearpig raised Gundham into the air before dropping him on his human knee!

"I've been...broken...my Dark Devas...before I lose consciousness...run..." he groaned out before going limp as the hamsters squeaked out in horror and sadness, before the large creature eyed them with hunger.

Izuru Kamakura then used his Ultimate Boomerang Thrower to distract Manbearpig, giving the hamsters time to escape.

But to no avail! It then killed Chiza, Fuyuhiko and Peko in one swift slash!

"Nooo!"

"Oh look, I've come back from the dead somehow, must be thanks to my Ultimate Bullshit. Oh look at that, you've stabbed your claws into my chest and tore out my heart, and now you're eating my heart, and I die again..." Said Komaeda.

'Does he ever shut up?' wondered Yui.

Eventually, the last one standing was Izuru, as he accepted his fate, sat on his knees, awaiting Manbearpig's final blow.

"I suppose my time has come."

"You sure this one's gonna die?" Asked Trahzo.

"Of course, wh-" Then a hard uppercut sent Manbearpig rocketing to the ceiling because of Izuru's Ultimate Demon Slayer talent.

"Sike! I was pretending to give up." He said with his Ultimate Prankster talent. "Now...time to show you my Ultimate Godkiller talent."

"Oh right...he's the Ultimate Ultimate." Said Yui. "This might not turn out like I thought. Hey, instead of killing me, maybe you can go home and jack off to porn?" Yui said while waving his hand.

"Ultimate Jedi talent, you won't convince me to do anything."

"Damn it!"

"So...what are we gonna do?" Asked Trahzo.

"I have an idea, HEY LOOK, MIND NUMBINGLY STUPID MEMES!"

"Where?!"

Then the memes swarmed Izuru, causing his intelligence to fall at a rapid pace.

"Uh...what's an Ultimate Ultimate again?"

"Perfect! End it Manbearpig!"

Manbearpig, lodged in the ceiling, got himself free! He roared out and charged at Izuru. And then he tore Izuru in half, and roared!

"Good boy!" cheered Yui. "Who wants a biscuit?"

"So what now? Is Junko next?"

"Nah, I came and did what I was supposed to do." spoke Yui with a sigh. "I know what happens to them in canon, but this will help lower the spread of despair in this universe, for the time being."

"So we leaving now?"

"Yep."

"I'm disappointed I didn't get to do much besides make a home movie outta this."

"Don't let it get you down, come-on, Cynthia's gonna love this home movie."

Both of them turned and walked off while unaware that Junko was waiting outside, tapping her foot.

"When are those guys gonna blow up the classroom?"


	22. Chapter 22

List of oneshots part 4

chapter 22

Chopper ends up going all over the place during the timeskip

Series: One Piece

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Chopper flew through the air, the paw shaped energy around him carrying him farther and farther from his crew and nakama. Screaming all the way while flailing his limbs around at seeing how fast and high up he was. "WAAAAHHHHHH! Make it stop, make it stop! Send me back, I don't like this! I have to get back!"

He tried to move around, but with the force it was hard, not to mention he braced himself when he flew past some clouds and got wet in the process. "Gah! When is this going to end?!"

He saw various islands pass by under him, the wind making him shiver, while he covered his eyes and tried to tell him this was all some crazy dream. 'T-This can't be real… it has to be!' He thought as he shook his head. 'It'll end any second now, and I'll be back on the Sunny!'

(Three days later)

Chopper snored with a snot bubble, drooling as he was fast asleep. He had stopped screaming after the first day, and had made peace that he had no control over when or where he would land, all he could do was hope he didn't land in the ocean. He grumbled to himself, trying to get comfy, while coming up to an island in the distance. 'Stupid paw isn't even comfy.' he thought, only to be jolted awake as the paw crashed onto said island. "AH!" He yelped, registering solid land under him, and whipping his head around in alarm. "Huh? Who? What? Where?!" He cried out, trying to ignore the pain that came from slamming down on the ground.

He took a moment to catch his breath, before slowly standing up on shaky legs. "Where….where am I?" He groaned as he looked around. 'At least I'm on land.' He was relieved to be still, but wobbled when he tried to take a few steps. "Ugh… I need to rest….but I also have to get back to Luffy…" he groaned as he tried to take several more steps forward only to fall down. "Ow….maybe I should try and take a breather first, otherwise I'll keep falling down."

He rolled himself onto his back, trying to get comfortable before his eyes closed and he fell asleep, too weak to do anything else. As he did, he failed to hear the rustling of the leaves or the footsteps that followed.

"Did you hear that?"

"Yeah, I think the sound of the crash came from over here."

The sound got closer before a pair of eyes looked from the brush and spotted Chopper. "Hey, look right there, you see that?"

"Yeah, looks like a tanuki… with horns? Either way bag it, either it'll sell well or we'll feed it to something else."

The figures walked over, holding rifles and nets before they moved near Chopper and began to get him tangled in a net while slapping some shackles on his limbs.

"Alright, let's get to the ship and get out of here and to the market."

"Sounds good to me."

Chopper remained sleeping as he was carried off.

(2 hours later)

"Ah….that was a good nap." Chopper yawned as his eyes began to slowly open. 'Ugh, I feel uncomfortable though, I guess that's what I get for sleeping on the ground.' He slowly sat up and tried to rub his eyes, but felt like something was holding his arm down. "Huh?" He said as he looked over to see his arm was shackled to the ground. "Huh?!"

"Hey, Dave, the thing we caught is up."

"Good, make sure to feed it. I want it alive by the time we get to shore."

"Sure thing boss… I wonder what it eats?" Muttered the voice as Chopper looked around to see he was in a very small cage, with all four limbs cuffed to the floor.

'Huh? Hey, what's going on?' He thought as the top of the cage was lifted off as a gruff, overweight man dropped a few pieces of lettuce into the cage near his head.

"Eat up fella, you're gonna need all your strength if you wanna impress any lucky buyers."

'Buyers?! A-Are they slave traders?!' He thought in fear. 'I-I have to get out of h- wait… maybe they think I'm a normal animal?' He thought as he paused. 'Ok, if they think that they'll eventually uncuff me, all I have to do is not talk or act strange until then, then I can go into my strength point and escape!'

The man shut the lift and walked away while Chopper grabbed one lettuce and sniffed it before grimacing.

'Yuck, the least they could do is have fresh vegetables. Oh well, I can't complain right now, I'm starving.' He thought as he began to munch on it. 'I wonder where I am, what island are they taking me too?'

He looked around and saw other cages with other animals in them, all looking glum, sad, and even starved. 'I really hope this doesn't last long, poor guys.' Chopper thought as he looked at them sadly. 'At least they're alive though and not killed for their pelts and meat.'

He kept eating and looked at the ceiling and let the rock of the boat keep him distracted.

(half an hour later)

"Land ho! Alright, let's get to the market!"

"On it!"

"Get the animals out and loaded on the carts. Time to show the folks our new haul."

"On it." Said one of the men as they began to grab the cages and dump them onto a large cart as the ship docked and a ramp was lowered onto it.

Chopper himself was awake and watched as the animals were loaded up and heard them whimpering in fear. 'I wish I could help them, but I...'

"Alright, move out, I'll meet you in the market after I pay for the ship."

"Aye aye captain." He said right as he loaded Chopper's cage on top before he began to push the cart off the boat and onto the dock. "You're gonna fetch a lot of money little guy."

'I hope not, but once I'm free I'll kick your butt!' He thought as he saw they were in some sea side town flocking with people, but they parted and watched as the animals on the carts passed by and saw the people talking to each other.

"Looks like a new haul just came in."

"Finally, my wife's been bugging me to get her a new pet. You know, after the last one died."

"I hope I can grab a few of them before the butcher takes all the good ones."

"Ugh, none of their pelts match, and most of them are too small to make anything good out of their pelts!"

"Don't worry dear, I'm sure we can get a couple for our annual game."

"I know dear, I was just hoping for a nice new coat."

'Aaaahhh! I wanna get out of here!' Chopper thought as he gulped nervously. He saw the carts stop near a podium where a man with a tophat and cane stood on with a smile.

"Welcome ladies and gents! I, the devilishly handsome Ricardo, have returned with new wares!" He called as he gestured towards Chopper and the other animals. "Only the finest and rarest of animals from our neighboring islands have been caught and brought forth for you today!"

The crowds cheered and clapped as Ricardo held his hand up.

"Like so many others, we shall begin bidding! So keep your eyes peeled, because these fellas are gonna go fast." He called as Chopper's cage was brought up. "Now how much are you ladies and gents willing to bid for this little guy? He was the last beast we caught, he is perfectly healthy and full of energy!"

Chopper gulped feeling all the eyes on him and had to remind himself NOT to say a word. 'R-Remember, to them you're just a regular animal, keep it that way!'

"Oi, what kind of animal is that?"

"Why a tanuki my good sir."

"Then why does it have antlers?"

"Our world works in mysterious ways my friend, I do believe this is a rare, one of a kind hybrid or weird mutation! Very rare." He declared as the crowd murmured curiously. "Let's start the bidding at, oh say, 20,000 beris."

"Twenty five!"

"Thirty!"

"Forty!"

"Alright, forty from the butcher, come now ladies and gents, surely you can do better than forty!" He called as more bids were called out. "Look at this fella, why he'd make a cute pet, or if you don't wanna worry about taking care of him, just take the pelt. He's young, which means you won't have to worry much about bugs or dirt."

"Sixty!"

"Sixty five!"

"Honey, buy him for me, please?"

"I...but…"

"If you loved me you would!"

"Fine, seventy!"

"Eighty!"

"Ninty!" Another boy called out as Ricardo inwardly laughed in glee.

'Yes, we're gonna make a killing off this thing!' "Come on folks, just 90,000? My dead grandmother's worth twice that. I'm practically giving him away."

"A hundred!"

"Now we're talking, but are you sure no one can do better?" He looked around the crowd. "I'll bet his antlers would pitch a pretty penny to the right buyers, so you'd get your money back and more." 'Not likely.' He thought as he patted Chopper's head. "Why, if you don't even want to do that thoughI do imagine he's make an amazing gift, or perhaps you could use him to breed a bunch of baby tanuki's and get your money back that way."

'I'm a virgin!' He thought as he gulped nervously. 'I just wanna get out of here!'

"Two hundred!"

"Two hundred and fifty!"

"Three hundred!"

"And we have three hundred thousand! Can anyone top that?" He called as the audience mumbled among themselves. "Going once….going twice….sold!"

"Yes!"

'No!' thought Chopper dropping his jaw. 'I...I got sold….no, keep it together, they're not gonna put a slave collar on an animal, a-and once they undo my shackles I can run away!'

"Congratulations my good man. Would you like a leash or the shackles?"

"Do you mind if I take aleash, but keep him in the cage? I wanna wrap him up to surprise my wife." He laughed as the crowd laughed as he made his way to the front.

"But of course, only for the best." he looked at two men nearby. "You heard him boys, get this little guy all wrapped up with a bow."

"Yes boss." They called as they began to pull out colorful paper as they started to wrap up the cage Chopper was in.

'Don't worry Chopper, just gotta wait a little longer. After you get free, you can try and board a ship and get away. Then again...maybe I can find a way to help the other animals while I'm at it.' He thought as he was surrounded by darkness.

"Here you go my good sir, I wish you a lifetime of happiness with your purchase."

"My wife is gonna love this guy."

'I hope she doesn't!' Chopper thought as the cage was lifted up as the man began to walk away. He braced himself to keep from stumbling around.

(Later)

"Honey, I'm home! Can you come here? I have a surprise~" Called the man as he entered the home. "And it's one you'll never forget."

"I'm coming, I'm coming, where have you been all day? It's our anniversary for crying out loud, you should have been h-" Called a females vice before stopping. "Wait… is this what I think it is?"

"I don't know, why don't you open and find out?" He called as a flurry of hands began to tear the paper off the cage, mildly blinding Chopper by the sudden influx of light.

"Oh my god!" Gasped the woman.

"Happy anniversary." Said the man as Chopper blinked and looked around to see he was in a well decorated home, but that was all he could see before the top of the cage was lifted off and he felt two hands grab him.

"Awww he's adorable!" She cooed as Chopper found himself pressed against two large mounds. "I'll love him forever!"

"I knew you would." chuckled the man. "I thought he'd be a nice companion on your ship if you're called out again on duty."

'Duty?'

"That's so thoughtful of you. I do get a little lonely when I have to leave." She sighed as she lifted Chopper up for him to see the woman, she had long blonde hair, was very tall, and much to his horror was wearing a very familiar white and blue uniform with a white cape.

'M-M-Marine!' He thought going wide eyed and dropped his jaw.

"He looks hungry. I'll go find him something to eat." He said as he began to walk away. "Oh, also be careful, he's still chained up to his box, so don't yank him too far until you undo the locks."

"Don't worry, I'm not that foolish to ignore something so obvious." She said as she rolled her eyes.

'Yet you haven't noticed that I'm a pirate yet!' He thought nervously as the man left, leaving him alone with her.

"Hmmm, now to figure out your name." the woman looked up in thought. "How about….Rover?"

'I'm not a dog!' He thought in slight annoyance. 'Keep it together Chopper, as soon as she undoes the chains you're free!'

"Or maybe Cassandra. You do look like a girl."

'No part of me looks like a girl!' He thought as his annoyance grew.

"Hmmmm, so many choices, honey, do you like Rover or Cassandra better?" She called out to her husband.

"Whatever you pick!"

"Ok, I pick Cassandra!" She called back happily.

Chopper groaned as the man came back with some carrots.

"I'll have to go out later to get more groceries, but these should hold her up."

'I'm a guy!' He thought in annoyance.

"Ok, thanks again Honey!" She said with a smile as she kissed him on the cheek. "I'll make sure to give you something extra special later~"

"Oh I look forward to it~" he chuckled back as Chopper groaned.

'I hope I'm not around for that!' He thought as the woman went and undid the shackles on him, much to his relief, before finding the carrots in his face.

"Eat up Cassandra."

'My name is Chopper!' He thought as his stomach rumbled. '...I guess I should eat up before I escape…' He started munching on the carrots, glad to taste they were fresh.

"Good girl! Oh you and I are going to be the best of friends, and I know the girls back on the ship will love you too!"

'Not when I sneak out.'

"I wonder if I could find a marine suit small enough for you, it would be so cute!"

'Not going to stay around long enough to see that happen!' he thought while enduring this hold for the time being.

(Later that night)

'Gah! Why did she want to sleep with me, she has a husband she can do that with!' thought Chopper, held close to the woman who was sleeping and had an iron grip on him. 'How am I supposed to sneak away like this?!'

"Mmmm." the woman let out while Chopper tried to quietly wiggle his way from her hold.

'Ugh, at this point I should just risk it and turn into one of my other point and escape!' He thought as he mentally calculated. 'I can't get to my rumble balls in this position, so I only have my normal forms.'

He took a deep breath and looked around the room. 'Ok, if I transform she'll wake up, which means I'll have to be quick and get out of the door and not slow down if I wanna get this off in one go.' He thought as he prepared himself. 'It's all or nothing, either I do it now and escape in the night or I wait until morning!'

He braced himself and closed his eyes before he started to transform into his Walk Point, which started to break the grip on him with the increase of body weight stirring the woman.

"Mmmmm…. Cassandra, you have to go for a walkie now?" She groaned. She slowly opened her eyes and noticed something moving off her bed making her sit up before it went darting at the door and burst through it which made her really wake up and go wide eyed. "Cassandra!?"

'Should I talk now or just keep running?' Chopper thought as he turned his head to see the marine as he tried to get out of the house.

"Cassandra come back!"

"My name is Chopper!" He called back as he leapt through a window. He landed outside and took off down the road as she looked out with wide eyes.

"Did….Did she just….talk?!"

"I'm a boooooooy!" He called off in the distance.

"She did?!" She went wide eyed and slack jawed before his name clicked in her head. "Wait...Chopper? As in...Tony Tony Chopper?!" She shouted in disbelief. "That pirate pet?! How did I not notice before?!"

With Chopper, he felt free at last and was ready to get to the port, but first, he had some animals to break free.

(Later)

"NOOOOO! My animals!" cried the man on his knees when he saw not just his cages empty, but his safe full of money was torn open and ransacked. "My animals! My money! Oh this is horrible! It's a nightmare!" He covered his face. "This couldn't possibly get any worse!"

"THIS IS FOR SELLING ME!" Chopper shouted as he hit him while in his heavy point.

"GAH!" The man flew back and crashed through the wall with Chopper lowering his fist.

"And if I ever find out you've been selling animals for profit, I'll be back to give you the other one." He shouted before running away.

"W-What just happened?" Ricardo groaned. He fell down on his front while Chopper ran onto the man's ship and smiled.

"Alright, time to get out of here. I just hope I can navigate enough to reach another island." He said as he began to raise the anchor.

"Cassandra!" Called out the marine, making him turn and saw her rushing to the port, rifle in hand, and being followed by other woman in marine coats. "Get back here right now!"

"Gaaaah!" He cried out in fear as he frantically raised the anchor, trying to sail away as fast as he could. "I gotta get out of here!"

"Surrender now!"

"I can't!"

"Oh yes you will!" She growled. "Your bounty is low enough so you don't have to go to prison, you can serve your time on our ship as the mascot!"

"I'm not a mascot!" he roared back. "I am the doctor of the straw hat pirates, and I have to return back to my crew, no matter what!"

"You heard him girls! Fire the nets!"

"Yes ma'am!" They shouted as they lined up in a firing line.

"Come on, come on, go faster!" Chopper shouted as he tried to sail away.

"Ready! Aim! FIRE!" She ordered as the marines fired a salvo of nets towards the ship.

Chopper went wide eyed and quickly spun the wheel, making the ship turn and ducked for cover as the nets barely missed him, with the ship sailing away from port.

"Damn it, I will find you! I will catch you, and you will come home Cassandra!"

"It's Chopper!" He called back while letting out a breath of relief as he sailed out of firing range. "Finally, now I can get back to sabaody, I'll be there in no time!"

(One week later)

Chopper was looking up at the sky, looking weak and groaning as the ship was lazily drifting. "Ugh….so thirsty….am I there yet?" He groaned. Turns out trying to sail a small ship with minimal navigational experience across the grand line may not have been the best idea. Chopper had tried to stay on course, but with no compass, or log point he was hopelessly lost.

It also didn't help that he didn't see how much supplies the ship had and ran out in the first two days. Now the reindeer was tired, dehydrated and starving, and worst of all, lost in the grand line.

"I need food...water...and shade." he let out as he tried to sit up and coughed. "I miss Sanji's food…." He tried to move over to the shade, but he was too weak. 'I...I don't wanna die here, please, anyone, help!'

He was struggling to keep moving and fell flat on his face, but his ears perked up when he heard the sound of something moving in the water. 'Oh no… not a sea king…' he thought as he tried to lift his head, only to see a dark shape heading towards him. 'A ship?' Hope slowly filled him which made him stand on his legs and smile. 'That means people, which means help.' He thought as he tried to stand up. 'I'm saved!'

The shape slowed down with Chopper seeing a man look over the side.

"Oi! Get your ship out of the way! We got fish to catch!"

"H-Help…" he called out weakly.

"Huh? What?" He called as he looked over to see Chopper in his heavy point sprawled out on the deck. "Huh?! Hey, are you ok?"

"No…."

"Captain!" Called the man to another one with a beard who was smoking a pipe. "Someone needs help on that ship!"

"Bring them aboard, we can charge them a pretty penny if we save him!"

"Ai ai!" he saluted before tossing a rope ladder over the side and started climbing down. "Ok big guy, just hold on, we'll get you somewhere safe."

"Thank….you."

(Later)

"Oi, what do you mean you don't have any money?!"

"I mean I don't have any, I'm sorry!" He cried out with his hands up as the captain glared at him. "I didn't have any time to carry any!"

"Well then how do you plan on paying us back for the food and water, huh?! This ain't a cruise liner!" Growled the captain. "Either you work or we dump you in the drink!"

"B-But I have to get to sabaody as soon as possible!"

"Sabaody? Ha! You have any idea how far away that is? We're out here for one thing, and that's to work! Plenty of men here got families they gotta feed by fishing up plenty of fish, which means we don't got any free time to go dropping some tanuki off as a favor."

"B-But I can't stay here, I'm already late."

"Well tough hit, there's nothing you can do about it." He sneered before one of the men began to ring a large bell.

"Captain, pirates!"

"Pirates? Oh fuck me sideways, just great." he huffed before turning to the men. "Hurry up men! We gotta get outta here!"

"Sir, they're bearing in fast! Wait… damn it, we're in trouble, they're Kaido's pirates!"

"KAIDO! Oh really fuck me sideways!" he facepalmed and glared at Chopper. "Happy? We're all gonna go under because you just HAD to be in our way."

"I didn't know this was a fishing route!" He argued. "I just wanted to go back to my cr-"

"Just shut up and get to work, you're fighting for us now!"

"Captain! They're getting closer!"

"Shit shit shit… new plan, dump the tanuki and see if they go after him!" ordered the captain. "He looks like a devil fruit user, those pirates love those, right?"

"Yes captain!"

"Eh?! Wait!" Chopper cried as the fishermen grabbed him.

"Hey, pirates! We're throwing over this zoan user we found, come and get him!" Called the captain as the large and intimidating pirate ship got close and didn't stop, before he chucked Chopper threw the air.

"WAAAAAHHHH! I'll drown!" He cried out flailing his arms while on the ship, the beast pirates were confused while one squinted his eyes.

"What was that guy saying?"

"I don't know, he just yelled something and threw….what is that? A dog?"

"Nah, looks like a reindeer."

"In this climate? That's ridiculous."

"I dunno, I think it had horns...hey, it's drowning, maybe it's one of those devil fruit eating animals?"

"Well then what are you waiting for? Fish it out!"

"Yes sir, but we'll have to stop chasing the fishing boat to do so."

"Fine, just do it, if it is a devil fruit user it'll be more valuable than anything else on the ship."

(Later)

"Haaa….haa…. Thank you, I thought I was gonna die!" Gasped Chopper after coughing up the water that nearly filled his lungs.

"Well well, he can talk, definitely a devil fruit user, huh?" Remarked one guy with a horse head on his stomach.

"Y-Yeah, I ate the human human fruit." he panted, making them pause.

"Wait….what?"

"What?"

"That sounds like the most useless fruit of all time, so why do you look like a tanuki?"

"I'm a reindeer!" he cried out in annoyance. "I have antlers! Antlers!"

"Wait, so you were a reindeer when you ate it?"

"YES!"

"Huh… still, how is that even useful? You seem kinda useless."

"Oi! I'm a doctor!" He growled angrily. "I can pick myself up in a fight and learned how to help heal people from an expert!"

"Hmmm, really now? Maybe there is a place for you after all." Muttered the man, making Chopper pause.

"Wait, what? What are you talking about?" he asked, on guard now and a bit cautious.

"We're part of the beat pirates, ruled by Kaido, and we're always looking for new zoan user to join." smirked one. "A doctor would be useful, especially if one of us is dying."

"Umm... well I'm honored, but I'm already part of a crew." He said as the pirates frowned.

"I don't think you get it, this isn't an offer, it's a demand, join or die." Spoke one as all of them held out swords with a few maces thrown in, making Chopper and break into a nervous sweat. "So what's it gonna be?"

"I-I…. I can't betray my captain!" He shouted as he reached into his hat and grabbed a rumble ball. He popped it in his mouth and started chewing it, bracing himself for what was about to come.

"Alright, then you chose death!" Shouted the pirate as they lunged forward.

"Guard point!" He spoke up before his coat puffed out into a sphere, causing the weapons to bounce off harmlessly, catching them off guard.

"Huh? What the hell?!"

"Horn point!" Chopper shouted as he quickly changed once more, now sporting a large rack of horns that he began to use to knock pirates away.

"What the hell, what is happening?!" Cried one before getting knocked up into the air with a few falling over the edge and into the water.

"The hell kind of powers does the human human fruit give?!" Called one as a large man rushed towards Chopper, a giant mallet in hand.

"Die you stupid tanuki!"

"I'm a reindeer! Arm point!" He called as he changed once more and struck the hammer, causing the head to go flying off.

"F-F-Four transformations…." He stuttered only to get a hoof to the face, leaving an imprint, and sending him flying and crashing into the mast.

"Bring it on! I'll take you all on!" Chopper declared. 'I hope I can just do it within three minutes.'

"Stop! Everyone stop fighting right now, if anyone hurts that reindeer I'll kill them myself!"

All of them froze up, with Chopper staying on guard as he saw a man walk over, who seemed overweight, but not in a bad way with shades on and with a cigar in his mouth.

"Q-Queen-sama! We were just fighting this enemy a-" Started one of the pirates, only for Queen to punch them.

"Shut up! You… you ate a zoan fruit, right?"

"Yes." spoke Chopper straight and flatly.

"And you just showed four forms, when a zoan can only have three, how?" Queen asked slowly, his tone betraying his curiosity.

"That's a secret."

"Well I hope you plan on telling us, I'm sure we would love to know." Queen said with a large grin. "How many transformations do you have, just four, or are there more?"

"I-I'm not telling you that, I have to g-"

"Tell me, now!" Queen ordered, his eyes narrowing. "I am Queen, I am one of the all-stars of the beast pirates, I can make it so you live a long, good life if you cooperate, or I can make yours a life filled with pain if you refuse! My bounty is over a billion beris, so don't even think about fighting back!"

"W-What is going on, this isn't like Queen-sama, h-he's never been like this before." Murmured one crew member.

"I don't know, but it scares me." On muttered as Chopper gulped nervously, quickly realizing that he was outclassed.

"I….I have three other transformations…. And then there….there…" He said nervously, feeling helpless. 'Should I tell them about the monster point? Why do they want to know this, no one else ever did!'

"Speak up!" Queen ordered.

"I-I have a monster point!" He squeaked out. "B-But I lose control after that!"

"Seven forms…. And an extra one….amazing~" He sang with a gleam behind his glasses, which really unnerved the reindeer. "And how do you achieve such an amazing feat~?"

"M-My rumble ball."

"Rumble ball? What is that?" Queen asked as he leaned in.

"I-It's a special drug I-I invented…" He stammered nervously as the ball he ate wore off and he turned back into his brain point. 'Oh no! Not now!'

"Oh~? A special drug? And can this be used on other zoans as well?" Queen asked as Chopper gulped nervously.

"I-I-I don't know?"

"Well, sounds to me like we hit the jackpot boys~!" Queen cooed excitedly. "Take us back to Wano right now, I have to tell Kaido the good news!"

"Wano? But I have to get back to my cre-"

"Forget them, you're part of the beast pirates now!"

"EH?!" He cried out as one pirate ran over and slapped a pair of black horns on his head. "B-But I'm a straw hat pirate!"

"Not anymore! I'd have to be an idiot to just let you go! You're coming with us to Wano, we'll set you up with a wonderful factory where you'll make as many rumble balls as you can!" he laughed as the ship started to turn around. "You'll live it up like a king if Kaido is really impressed. If he had a few, he could probably be stronger than any other Yonko."

"B-B-But…" Chopper started.

"Of course, it's not like you can refuse, that wouldn't be a smart move, RIGHT?" He grinned with a dark aura coming from him that made Chopper shut his mouth and shiver.

"I….ok…" He said meekly. 'W-When it's safe I'll run away, just wait for me Luffy!'

"Great! This calls for a celebration feast!"

"Yeah! Bring out the booze!"

'I just hope I can escape soon.' Chopper thought as he was surrounded by his new 'crewmates'.

(Later that night)

The ship was a buzz as the pirates were getting wasted, eating to their heart's content, with a little karaoke. And in the middle of it all was Chopper, who was trying his hardest not to be noticed.

"Oi, Chopper, come drink with us!"

"No thanks, I'm not that thirsty."

"Then come eat with us!"

"I-I'm not very hungry." He said as several female crew members sat down next to him.

"Come oooooon! It's a party! It's no fun if you don't join in." Slurred one with her arm draped over his shoulders.

"Y-Yeah, you gotta party! Today is a good day, have fun!"

"Really, I am having fun." He tried giving a convincing smile with one of them squinting her eyes.

"You sure? Don't look like it to me…."

"I really am, I pro-wah!" He cried as one grabbed him.

"I don't believe you!" She held him close to her face and hiccuped. "You look like you need, hic! To smile more."

"Yeah!" Called one as she reached over and pressed her fingers to the side of his lips and stretched them into a smile. "Smile!"

Chopper sighed in his head and was unable to get away from them while one came over with a big pitcher of booze.

"Have a big cold one, down the hatch~" She called as the others opened his mouth as she started to pour the booze in.

"Gaaaah!" He let out with his limbs flailing, having to gulp it down or risk drowning. "I don't like this! Let me go, let me go!"

"Relax, you'll feel waaaay better in a sec~"

Chopper tried to loosen their grip, but they held on and wound up chugging the whole thing, making him gasp and cough when they let go and started to feel his face warm up. "Gah! Why did you do that?!" He shouted as they just chuckled and giggled drunkenly.

"Because you needed it."

"Yeah! You gotta loosen up and cheer up! You're part of the crew!"

"That doesn't mean I need to get drunk." He spoke before letting out a hiccup himself and started to sway a little. "Oooh, there it is…."

"Yeah! Now we can have some fun~"

(half an hour later)

Chopper, in his strong point, was in the middle of an arm wrestling match with one of the pirates who was partially transformed into a bull, both grunting and giving it their all as the others cheered.

"Whooo! Go Chopper, go go go!"

"Take him on Taurus!"

"Grrr, is that all you got?" Huffed Taurus straining his muscles.

"No way! I should be saying that to you." Slurred Chopper. "I-I'm a tough pirate!"

"So...am...I!" Groaned Taurus, right as his hand hit the table.

"Ha! I win!" grinned Chopper holding his arms up as the crowd cheered with him hiccuping. "Don't go messing with, hic! Reindeers!"

The rowdy crowd cheered as Chopper let out a laugh, completely drunk.

"Wooo! More booze! I can drink more than Zoro could!"

"Then bring him some more, more for our new crew member!" Ordered Queen while Chopper stumbled near the railing and near a cannon before bracing himself.

"Heheheh, ya know, maybe being part of a new crew ain't so bad." He hiccuped and noticed some flint on the ground and picked it up while looking at the night sky. "At least I won't be all by my-hic. Self."

"Oi, Chopper, we got you more booze!" Called one of the crew members as Chopper turned towards them, letting go of the flint as he did so. Unknown to him the flint scraped across the cannon as it fell, causing sparks to fly.

"Coming!" He called, the spark ending up lighting a fuse on the cannon with the reindeer leaning against the end, pushing it straight up as he walked over, one of the drunk men on the ground noticing the fuse and squinting his eyes.

"H-Hey….is that...that fuse….lit?" he slurred out.

"N-Nah, how would that happen?"

"I dunno… let's party!" He called, right as the cannon fired. This of course caused the partiers to momentarily stop and look up, seeing the cannonball up in the air with their eyes slowly widening as it came careening back down.

"Waaaah! Someone stop the cannon ball! It'll hit us! If it hits the explosives we'll all die!"

Queen himself tried to rush over, but wound up stumbling and tripped over several others while the others ran around in a panic and in a drunken stupor with Chopper himself staring up and could only mutter this.

"Oh no."

And cue the cannonball breaking through the floor and going through the levels till it went through the bottom, causing sea water to come seeping right in.

"Crap, we're sinking!"

"Quick, someone plug up the holes!"

The crew rushed to try and grab buckets and wooden planks, but one thing the cannonball knocked on it's way down was a support beam, causing the floor to give out and break under them, making them cry out and fell down. The crew cried out as they piled on top of each other, everything becoming a chaotic mess as sea water hit the devil fruit users, which made up over half the crew.

"Oh god, I'm getting weak…"

"Get to the life boats!" Ordered Queen in a panic. "Abandon ship! Abandon ship!"

"Aye aye captain!" They called as they raced towards the boats, only to quickly realize there were only four lifeboats….for a crew of nearly a thousand. "Uh….Queen-sama?"

"What?"

"We won't all fit."

"What?!" He called as he moved over, to see the ships, which were barely large enough to fit just him.

"What are we gonna do?!"

"Women first!"

"Fuck that!"

"The strong should go and survive!"

"The strong are the ones who survive!"

"Oh god, we're out of booze! We'll drown while being sober!"

"All of you back off, I get one boat to myself!" Queen ordered as he grabbed a boat and leaped off the ship with it. 'Ok, I'll blame this on the marines...no, Big Mom, Kaido already hates her.'

The crew argued while trying to shove each other away with Chopper himself tip toeing away to the other end and panicked.

'Oh no! This is horrible! I gotta get away while I can and not drown!' With that he ripped part of the floor off and got on the edge before jumping off, turning back to his brain point as it landed with a splash, making him groan when it touched him, but he was afloat. 'Ok, now I just have to get away and not drown.'

"Out of the way!"

"No way! I'm gonna get in here!"

"No me! Women first you asshole!"

"No way, Devil Fruit users first!"

"Use the smaller ones as rafts!"

As the pirates bickered and argued none of them noticed the reindeer slowly floating away until he was out of sight.

"OI! That furry bastard ditched us!"

"Maybe he got on some drift wood and floated away on accident?"

"Or maybe he fell overboard and drowned!" Another called as Queen paled.

'Crap, I already told Kaido about him before the boat sank and that miracle drug! What am I going to tell him now?!' He was about to facepalm, but stopped as something clicked. 'Wait! If I put a bounty on him and let someone find and catch him, then it won't seem like I completely failed!' He thought as he began to plot. 'Yeah, it could work, and if Kaido asks any questions I'll blame it on the marines! Yes, I'm safe!'

(Next day)

"Is...Is that an island? Yes! I don't have to starve again!" Cheered Chopper, still floating on the piece of wood while he looked tired and starved, again. He began to frantically paddle and kick towards it, unaware of a certain white bird flying towards him. 'I need to get there, get a ship and go to sabaody, I've made them wait too long!'

Caaa!

"Stay away! I won't be a meal for you seagulls!" he cried out flailing his paw out while he tried to keep on paddling.

Caaa!

"Stay...away?" he said as he looked up, to see a news coo.

Caaa! Caaa!

"Oh, sorry, I thought you were a different bird, sorry!" He called out sheepishly. "Can I have a paper please?"

Caaa! It flew down and dropped a paper right on top of Chopper before it flew away.

"Thanks!" He called as he opened up the paper. "Alright, I need this, a small, relaxing break from all th- LUFFY?!" He went wide eyed and slack jawed when he saw Luffy's face on the paper, along with a few other familiar faces. "W-What happened when I was gone?!"

(One revelation later)

"O-Ok, I understand Luffy! I get it!" He nodded with determination as he clenched his paws. "I'll be ready! In two years I'll be the best doctor you can rely on! I'll get back to where we last saw each other, and we'll show them what the Strawhats can do."

He nodded his head and noticed he was nearly at the shore. "Ok, I'll find somewhere that I can learn to be better, stronger, the best doctor in the world!"

After more paddling, he got onto the sandy shore and looked around. "Ok, I should probably find out exactly where I am first, then find somewhere to study." He said as he looked out on the island, noticing how it was mostly dominated by a massive volcano. 'I just hope this island is peaceful.'

He walked over near some bushes and found some fruit, which he quickly started to scarf down in desperation. 'Oh thank god, food!'He thought as he ate as much as he could. 'So juicy! I thought I wouldn't taste something this good for who knows how long!'

"The sacred fruit!"

"Hmmm?" he said as he looked up in confusion. He found several spears in his face, making him see they were held by people with masks on, which made him open his mouth and let the fruit and juice fall out. "Uh…."

"An outsider has come to devour our sacred fruit!"

"You know what we must do to save us all from destruction!"

"Yes, prepare the rope, tell the chief we need to make a sacrifice!"

"Wait! It's a misunderstanding!" He cried as he was tackled and his limbs quickly tied up. "I was shipwrecked and starving!"

"The outsider can talk! And yet it resembles a dog!"

"A curse! It must be some sort of evil spirit come here to bring chaos to our land!"

"Yes, it has to be! We must destroy it immediately, take it to the volcano!"

"What?!" Chopper paled as he was carried off into the jungle. "Wait no! I'm not a dog or evil spirit! I'm a reindeer!"

"Quiet foul spirit, you shall not tempt us with your dark powers and lies!" Spoke one of them as they made their way into a tribal village where one of them had feathers on his mask with a large spear. "Chief! We must make a sacrifice at once!"

"What? Why?"

"We found a demon eating the secret berries!"

"WHAT?!"

"It was an accident!" He cried out struggling. "I didn't know they were yours, honest!"

"It talks?!"

"Yes, it's the devil!"

"No I'm not!" He protested.

"Take him to the volcano and throw him in!"

"Noooooo!" He cried out as they started jogging up to the volcano with him trying to gnaw on the ropes. 'I can't even get a break for five minutes!'

"Wait, stop!" Called an old voice as the men stopped to see an old woman hobbling towards them. "Do not sacrifice that creature."

"Why? It is a devil!"

"But what if it's not, it could be a god, or an embassy from the volcano!" She spoke moving over closer. "Tell me, what trouble other than eating the fruit has it caused?"

"It has spoken! And you know the fruit is sacred!" Argued one of the tribesmen.

"Yes, but it's known that the fruit is made for those that are worthy. Perhaps this creature is more than what we believe." She said, making them all pause as Chopper let out a sigh of relief.

'Yes, I'm saved! I'm finally catching a break!'

"But then, how will we know?"

"Ask yourself, does that thing look like an evil demon?"

All of them turned to Chopper who tried to look calm and less threatening.

"Well….it has odd horns not seen before."

"Those are antlers, I've seen them before on foreign ships." The old woman shot back. "And they are most commonly seen on creatures that are more scared of humans than dangerous to them."

"So… this isn't a demon?"

"No, no it is not." The old woman said as she shook her head. "Now set it down."

"Bu-"

"NOW."

"Ok, fine, the creature lives… for now."

Chopper sighed as they let him down and untied him. "Thanks, I thought I was a goner!"

"Apologies small creature, our home is usually not bothered that much by outsiders."

"It's fine… I'm sorry, but I don't want to seem rude, but I have to leave, I have to find somewhere to train." Chopper said nervously. "I have to get stronger as fast as I can."

"Hmm, well I don't think you would be able to do that here, we are not a warrior people unfortunately."

"No, I don't mean physically, I mean with my mind." He said as he scratched the back of his head. "I'm a doctor on my crews ship, and I have to know more."

"Oh? Really?"

"Yeah, so I'm gonna have to get going. Bye!" He waved before he went jogging off.

"Wait, come back!" She called, trying to move forward only to grab her back in pain. 'Stupid old back!'

"Should we give chase?"

"No, no, there aren't any ships on this island, so he'll have to come back eventually, then he'll see our library." She spoke while looking at a huge hut that overlooked the village. "I'm sure it has everything he'll need on his journey. He'll be back in no time."

"I see… I just hope he doesn't try to set off to sea with some old driftwood or something."

"Now you're just being ridiculous." She said as she rolled her eyes. "I doubt he's foolish or desperate enough to try something like that."

Chopper managed to find the driftwood and looked out to sea nervously. 'Ok, if I can find a ship, I can paddle, or at least float towards it…..I think my mind's starting to get weak from exhaustion if I think it'll work out without any problems.' He thought as he approached the ocean. 'Either way, I'll rest when I find someplace safe, somewhere that I can become a good doctor for Luffy!'

With that he took a running start and jumped in.

(Timeskip)

"WAR! I declare war on you!"

"I couldn't agree more!"

Two giants in armor bashed heads against each other as their armies were clashing, all the while Chopper was pale and hiding behind a tree.

'I screwed up! I just caused a war!'

"You dare to bring a doe to our sacred meeting? Our proud symbol? And color it's nose BLUE?! I'll have your head on a pike!"

"I will kill you before that, your ways are flawed you fool, and it is not a doe, but a mighty buck!"

"Fuck you!"

"Fuck yourself!"

'I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE!' Chopper went off running using his speed point while trying to ignore the shaking ground and loud clash of weapons.

(Timeskip)

"Is there a doctor in the house?!"

"Y-Yes, I'm a doctor!" Chopper called as he stood up.

"Great! We need someone to help perform brain surgery on this man, stat!"

"Brain surgery?!" He went slack jawed. "T-T-That seems a bit out of my-"

"Nurse, sterilize and prep him for surgery! We must save the admiral's life!"

"Admiral?!" Chopper yelped before getting carried off, and wound up sprayed and scrubbed, then decked out in the proper garb and put down next to the man, who was out like a light, and wearing a pair of tinted glasses with a scalpel in hand. "Uh…."

"Don't worry, he's out like a light. Those seastone bracelets work like a charm. Now show us how to make the cut."

"Wait, don't you know how?"

"Oh lordy no! We're all just interns."

"Why?!"

"All the other doctors died in marineford, now hurry doctor! Make the cut!"

"Make the cut!"

"Make the cut!"

'I've only read about this! I've never done it!'

(Another timeskip)

"Alright men! I want you all to put your lives on the line!" Barked the captain walking past the men lined up with rifles. "It's our job to hunt down every criminal that escaped and bring them back to Impel Down, no matter what!"

"Yes sir!"

"I don't care how big, small, or skinny you are. If you're not trying your hardest, then the navy has no need for you!" He yelled out while stopping in front of Chopper, who somehow had a rifle his size and in an overly big marine uniform while sweating bullets. "Which means if you find any pirate scum, you shoot!"

"What if they're not escapees?"

"Then you shoot!" He shouted. "A pirate is a pirate, so they all signed away their lives the second they went against us! Do I make myself clear?!"

"SIR YES SIR!"

He looked down at Chopper who tried to keep it together. "Do I make myself clear pipsqueak?!"

"S-Sir yes sir!"

"Good, now get out there and make me proud! Death before dishonor!" He called as they raced forward, heading towards a walled fortress flying a skull and crossbones.

'This has nothing to do with medicine!'

(Once more, a timeskip)

"After him, I want him, I must have him!" Called a large, overweight woman in a white suit with a large bubble over her head.

"Yes ma'am." Bowed a man in armor as Chopper gulped nervously, backed up against a wall.

"C-Come on now! You don't want me. I'm too young! I'm annoying! I'm not vaccinated!"

"Ho? You think you have any right to tell ME what I do and don't want?! I am a world noble, a celestial dragon, a living god! You should be honored!" she yelled while the armored men moved closer. "You'll live with me as my pet and like it!"

"I-I can't! Gotta go!" He cried as he changed into his leg point and jumped over the wall, barely avoiding a slave collar.

"After him!"

(Another timeskip, once more)

"Honey, I'm making dinner, any requests?"

"Well fried deer sounds good tonight."

"Ok." She called as she opened a large pantry, to show a large assortment of food, including one strawhat doctor tied up and hanging from a hook. He was wiggling from his ropes as she walked over with a smile. "Good news fella, YOU are tonight's menu."

"NOOO! I'm not food! I can talk, I can walk, you can't eat me!" He cried out as he kept struggling.

"That's what they always say." She chuckled as she pulled out a large knife. "Now then, time to prepare dinner~"

"I taste awful!"

"That's what the last dish said, and they were delicious with the right spices." She chuckled as she grabbed him and put him over her shoulder. "Now let's get you outside, I don't want to make a mess."

(Yet another timeskip)

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here for the holy matrimony of these two lovebirds." spoke the priest, in a church, with a wedding going on as a man and woman smiled at the other. "Now it's unorthodox, but if there is anyone who has a problem between this union, speak now, or forever hold your tongue."

Everyone was quiet and didn't see anyone stand up, but there WAS something flying towards the colorful glass window above them coming in fast.

"Well then, in that case-"

CRASH!

Everyone jumped and turned to see a small ball of fur bounce in and crash against the organ before it fell down with Chopper groaning and tried to stand up, eyes spinning with him stumbling.

"Oooh….I…."

"I see, well, that sure seems like a sign from above, doesn't it?" The priest said as everyone stared in shock.

"Ow… where am I?"

"So THIS is who you prefer?" the man glared at the woman.

"No! I swear it's not like that."

"That explains why you always had your dog with you when we went to bed. Is that what you're into? Is THIS the kind of thing to get you going?"

"What?! No! God, if this is how you act at the slightest bump in the road then we're through! Goodbye creep!"

"Same to you!" he turned to Chopper who got his bearings as the man ripped the sleeves off his tux and walked over. "You bastard! I'll turn you into a fur coat!"

"WHAAAA! I didn't do anything though!"

(Another… damn there are a lot of timeskips)

"Alright, everybody ready? Three….two...one...action!" Called a director as the actors got ready.

"Hello, are you unhappy with your life, wanting something more? Have you thought about moving and coming to live in a new, wonderful world? Well wonder no longer, I am here to tell you about Totto land!" Said Smoothie robotically. "A land where you will find yourself in a dream come true. But don't take my word for it, just ask one of our latest residents." She called as Amande walked over, leading a very nervous Chopper over.

"This is Tony Tony Chopper, he has been living a life of pain, fear and regret, but once he learned about Totto land, the place where all races live in peace, he now knows only joy." spoke the woman with Chopper giving a shaky nod. "Tell them all about Totto Land."

"W-Well, it uh, i-it's a very sweet place to live, a-and everyone here is nice." he said, only to get poked by Amande. "A-And the Big Mom Pirates look out for the citizens here, protecting them from the marines!"

"Which is why you should come by and give it a look see." Spoke Smoothie before going quiet and looked off screen. "Are we done?"

"Cut!" Called the director with a sigh. "Smoothie dear, you don't ask that when we're still rolling."

"So we're not done?"

"No, now we have to start over again, you'll know it's over when I say cut."

"Cut?" Amande asked, pulling out her sword.

"Ahhh!" Screamed Chopper who ducked for cover as the woman sliced the den den mushi camera in half.

"No! It will take days to get a new one!" cried out the director.

"You told me to cut."

"I didn't mean literally!" He groaned. 'Why did Big Mom want these two to do the commercial?!'

"Can I go on break now?" Asked Chopper in a squeak. 'And hopefully escape!'

"Good idea, I'll take the break with him." Smoothie said as he paled.

'Crap!'

(Do we even need to say what this is?)

"A toast, to a peaceful coexistence."

"Here here! To peace!"

The leaders clicked their glasses together and drank from them while Chopper himself sighed in relief, sitting on a chair at a long table.

"This is nice." he spoke with a blissful expression.

"And a round of applause for Tony Tony, the reindeer who helped make this all possible."

"Here here! All hail Tony Tony Chopper!"

'This is nice, for once things aren't going horribly wrong.' he thought while leaning back in his seat with relief.

(Once again, need any explanation?)

On the back of what looked like a colossal elephant, in a city that looked like ruins, is where Chopper was, but in his berserk form, who was sitting down and leaning against a building, but he wasn't going on a rampage.

But instead had what looked like numerous girls on him, all with animal traits, because they WERE animals in a sense.

'How exactly did this happen again?' He thought in confusion. 'I was testing out my rumble ball then… this happened?'

"Chopper-sama, your coat is so soft~"

"So strong too~"

"Chopper-sama, you were so brave~"

'Huh…. maybe my luck has finally changed?'

(Do I even have to say anything?)

"Oh Ameliee, where did you get that fabulous scarf?"

"Isn't it fantastic? Henry just got it for me~"

"What animal is it made from?"

"I think it's some kind of deer. I found it in our closet under my favorite coat, Henry must have been trying to hide it as a surprise, isn't that just romantic?" She sighed happily. "I found a pair of antlers and a strange hat next to it too, I wonder what those were for?"

'Thank god I just shed my antlers!' Thought Chopper as he tried to remain completely still on the woman's shoulders. 'Once she takes me off I'm out of here!'

"That's simply fantastic, you are such a lucky woman Ameliee."

"I know I am."

(Timeskip!)

"Where is he, where did he go?!"

"I don't know sir!"

"Well find him or so help me it'll be your head!" Shouted the captain as the marines saluted and kept running as he turned around and looked around the massive ship. "Of all the places for a pirate to turn up it had to be at a floating zoo, the fiend!"

"Neigh." let out a horse chewing on hay right next to him.

"I swear I will find him." Growled the captain as he walked away.

'Why are there marines at a zoo?!' Chopper thought, having jumped into a random enclosure. 'What's there to guard here? A runaway sheep?'

"Keep searching, he could be anywhere!"

"Sir, should we check the carnivore exhibits, like the lions?"

"Don't bother, if he did jump in there he wouldn't survive."

'Like I'd ever end up near those. I'm too smart to do something like that.' He thought before hearing a growl behind him. 'No…. no, not even my luck is that bad…' he slowly turned around to see a lion snarling at him while licking its mouth. "Uh….h-hi there fella. You wouldn't happen to have had lunch already, right?"

'Nope, but I think I'm about to.' the lion said as it circled Chopper.

'Great, now I have to fight for my life in a zoo!' He thought while making sure to stay away. "Look, right now I'm kinda strapped for time, so could we not do this? I'm not all that tasty."

'I'll be the judge of that!'

"Trust me, you don't wanna do this." He said as he changed into his heavy point. "If you try it, I won't hold back."

'Bring it on!'

(Here we go again)

Chopper sat on a throne, crown on head, and was currently getting a massage from several handmaidens as a servant handed him an encyclopedia on medicine.

"This, this is what I've been looking for this whole time! Now I can train as a doctor!" He cheered happily.

"Shall I get more books on the subject my lord?"

"Yes please, as many as you can!"

"Will do sir, I will try to get as many as I can before you wake up."

"That's great….wait, wake up?"

"Yes sir, this is all a dream, and now that you know it is you will be waking up soon."

"No, no! It can't be a dream, nooooo!" He cried as everything started to become hazy. "Don't go away! I need the knowledge!"

"I'm sorry, but I am a figment of your imagination." called the servant as he disappeared, right as Chopper woke up on a small raft.

"Damn it!" He cried out. "I was so close!"

(SkipTime)

"Gah! Leave me alone already, I already said I don't want to be your test subject!"

"Nonsense! Every person is a potential test subject, they merely don't know it!"

"You're crazy, crazy I tell you!" Chopper cried out as he kept running, passing by several strange creatures in large vats or strapped down on operation tables.

"Crazy is just parallel to genius!" Laughed the man. "All I need is more test subjects, and soon I'll be the best scientist in the world, better than those hacks like Vegapunk and Caesar!"

"Use someone else!"

"No, everyone will become my test subjects!" He laughed while grabbing a vial as they ran around the lab. "Why just drink my special elixir guaranteed to fly without wings!"

"I don't wanna do that!"

"Everyone is unwilling until they see progress! And so shall you!" He laughed as he kept chasing after Chopper.

(Last timeskip, I swear!)

Chopper panted, hiding behind a corner while looking a bit battered up.

"Come on out little guy, I promise not to be so hard on you~"

"Yeah, if you come out we won't beat you up TOO bad!"

"Yeah, we wouldn't want to give up our new toy so soon~" Called a voice, right as a blonde woman poked her head over the spot Chopper was hiding. "FOUND YOU!"

"Yipe!" he let out as he went on running, before having to jump over several sewing needles shot at his feet.

"Aw, I missed!" Groaned a voice as the spots where the needle hit turned into yarn. "Hold still!"

"My turn!" a man with brown hair skated past her with wheels on his feet as he got closer to Chopper. "Gang way!"

"Gah!" He cried as he quickly dodged him, only to find himself thrown into the air and compacted into a ball as a large fat man began to juggle him with several other balls.

"Hey, no fair, I wanted a turn! Change him back fatso!"

"You'll get your turn after I'm done!" he called as Chopper cried out in fear as he began to get dizzy. "I'm about to beat my record!"

"Come on, the juggle juggle fruit is lame, just admit it! You can't even juggle for longer than a minute!" Called the woman, and right on cue the man lost control of his ball, causing them to fall and hit the ground, only to turn into various objects as they did so, including the reindeer. "See?! It can't be useful at all."

"S-Shut up!" He cried as Chopper scrambled to his feet. "I don't see your sew sew fruit doing any better!"

"That's because he won't stay still!" Muttered the woman as her fingers turned into needles. "Now stay still!"

"No way!" spoke Chopper who fished out a rumble ball and bit into it, causing himself to change into his arm point. "I won't run anymore. You want to fight? I'll show you what I can do."

"Alright! You'll make a nice doll once I'm done with you!" She growled. "Besides, I want to have fun before the others arrive!"

"Too late!" Laughed several voices as Chopper looked over to see over a dozen men and women rushing towards them.

"Ugh, you think the marines would have had more money to get test subjects for devil fruits!" Groaned the woman in annoyance.

"Don't look away from the-GAH!" The large man wound up getting flying back from Chopper slamming his hooves into his stomach.

"I'm not dying here!" He panted. "I will survive!"

"Damn I love it when they're feisty~" Laughed the woman as Chopper prepared for the fight.

(Timeskip)

We find ourselves back at the archipelago, which was going about it's usual life without a care in the world. Unknown to the regular citizens of the strange archipelago, this was a special day, it was the day the straw hat pirates had agreed to meet up again after two years!

And making his way to the spot was a figure in a black cloak, who was panting and leaning on a wooden stick.

"Ha….Ha…..finally...I'm here….I'm sorry Luffy...I have become stronger, but...I…" Muttered the figure as he stumbled forward. "I didn't…. I didn't learn as much about medicine as I wanted!" He fell down on his front and groaned, trying to get his bearings together.

"I need…. To get to the ship, I can rest there… for the first time in two years I'll be able to rest…" He pushed himself up and dragged his body as best as possible.

"Chopper?" Called a strange yet familiar voice. "Is that you?"

"U….Ugh?" he groaned as he looked up, only to freeze as he saw the face. "R-Robin?"

It was definitely Robin, but with her hair down, sunglasses, but with a towel draped around her hips with a bikini top.

"Yes, it's me, but what happened to you Chopper, you look so worn out!" She crouched down and pulled the hood down to show he was in his heavy point.

Chopper stared at Robin and suddenly latched onto her and started crying tears of joy. "ROBIN!"

"Chopper! My, it's nice to see you after all this time, and you've changed so much!" She complimented happily.

"Oh Robin, it was horrible! I never wanna leave the crew again!" He spoke while shaking his head against her, not caring if it was against her breasts. "I-I kept bouncing around from place to place, I was in the grand line, the easy blue, south blue, everywhere! Somehow I was even in the marines for a bit against my will!"

Robin blinked in confusion and surprise while trying to pat Chopper on the head.

"I was always fighting for survival! It was like survival of the fittest no matter where I went!" He moaned. "Everywhere I was people tried to kill me, eat me, capture me, make me a pet, everything! I once even had to escape from the celestial dragons!"

"Oh dear. That's quite the adventure." She said as she patted his back. "Let's go to the Sunny and discuss it over some tea and cotton candy, ok?"

"Mhm!"

Both of them got up with Chopper leaning against her.

"You know, this may be easier if you changed to your brain point so I could carry you if you're too tired to walk.

"I….I can't, everytime I do something bad happens!"

"Don't worry, nothing will. I'll protect you." She said as he slowly nodded before changing into his smaller, cuter form. "There you go, was that so bad?"

"I guess not…" he muttered while letting Robin hold him in her arms.

"Wait, is that….Oi! Chopper!" Shouted a loud voice, making him and Robin freeze before turning to see a man wearing a pair of black horns.

"Oh no!" He said as he paled. "Not the Kaido pirates!"

"Wait, Chopper? I know that name… isn't he supposed to be in Totto land?" Wondered Smoothie as she turned to look. "Yeah, now I remember, I had to do those advertisements with him."

"Didn't he go missing Smoothie-sama?"

"Yes, I suppose we better go get him and bring him home."

"Yes ma'am!" They called as they headed towards Chopper and Robin.

"W-We have to go, now! Before anything else happens!" He spoke up in a panic. "Start running and don't turn around!"

"Ok." Robin said as she began to run.

"Oi! Stop right there!"

"Oh come on, who now?!" Chopper groaned. He looked and paled seeing several marines. "Oh no, no no no! Please don't be captain Fuki, she still wants me to be a mascot!"

"Chopper, how many people have you crossed paths with over these two years?"

"You don't wanna know." He said as they kept running, a sizeable crowd starting to grow behind them.

"Stop, that's my fur scarf!"

"Come back here test subject!"

"My food!"

"Chopper-sama!"

"Oi! Punching bag! Get over here, I need to test out my powers!"

'I have the worst luck EVER!'


	23. Chapter 23

List of oneshots part 4

chapter 23

What if Venom bonded with Ragyo?

Series: Kill La Kill and Marvel

xxxxxxxxxxxx

It was another boring day.

Ragyo Kiryuin sat upon her chair, in her mansion, thinking with a smirk upon her face. She was going over every single angle for her grand scheme involving humanity and the Life Fibers.

Her thoughts soon drifted to her daughter, Satsuki Kiryuin. Ragyo wondered how much longer her child would resist her efforts and accept her ideals. She was a stubborn girl that one, but with time, she would succumb to what was about to come.

Suddenly, there was a knock upon her door, interrupting her thought process. "Come in," Ragyo allowed.

"Apologies for interrupting you Ragyo-sama." A brown skinned girl by the name of Rei Hououmaru, said as she bowed her head before approaching Ragyo, the one who gave her purpose. "I didn't mean to bother you with your thoughts."

"It's quite alright, Rei. What is it you wished to speak to me about?" Ragyo said, nodding her head in acknowledgment.

"I came to inform you that there's been an unknown object that came from the sky. It flew over the mansion and crash landed not that far from here."

"Oh? Truly? Perhaps it could be more Life Fibers. Who knows, maybe even another Primordial Life Fiber." Ragyo said before she stood up from her chair. "Have a vehicle ready to take me there. I must see it for myself."

"At once Ragyo-sama." she bowed before leaving the room.

"Heh, have I truly been blessed? I suppose only time will tell." Ragyo said to herself before walking, intending to find what this new...phenomenon was.

(Outside)

After having taken vehicle transport by helicopter, Ragyo stepped out of said vehicle and saw a distance away, what looked like a deep crater with steam coming out.

She turned her head to the pilot. "Wait for me here, I shall be fine." She ordered, intending on going alone.

"Yes Ragyo-sama."

Ragyo turned her head back before she walked towards the crater. Upon approaching the rim of it, she saw what appeared to be...a meteorite in the center. Smiling, she gently slid down until she was a couple of feet away. She knelt down and examined it. "Hmmm, if this contains more Life Fibers, than they will surely react to me." she held her hand out and tried to feel any presence of them.

Much to her disappointment, it didn't react apart from a slight crack upon its surface. Just as she was about to stand back up, it cracked like an egg and a black substance leaked out, intriguing her. "Oh? Now what do we have here?" She said to herself.

Then, she saw it...it was hard to tell if it slide or crawled, in her direction. Tilting her head, she moved half a foot away in the other direction to see it start going in said direction, like it wanted to connect with her.

"Hmm...if it is related to the Life Fibers, I must show my most vulnerable," Ragyo said as she began removing her clothing effortlessly. Upon having her body bare, she knelt to her knees and lightly spread her legs for this substance.

Said substance moved closer while Ragyo watched it with a wide smirk. The substance took the opportunity to latch onto the exposed reproductive part of Ragyo's body, much to her delight. She lightly moaned as she felt more started entering and begin thrusting in her. Her toes curled slightly.

"Mmmm, that's it." Ragyo let out as she began to rub her own breasts.

The substance slowly spread across Ragyo's legs while the part that was still inside her did not stop its thrusting. It spread her walls and found her more sensitive spots, making her moan much more.

'It knows just where to touch a woman.' She thought to herself as she let the substance pleasure her. She noted the black substance reaching her feet and hummed as the toenails extended and sharpened, making them deadly while her leg muscles felt stronger than before. It kept on stretching and stretching up her body and towards her chest while feeling her skin tingle.

The Life Fiber/Human hybrid moaned as she felt the black substance grope and move her breasts. She yelped in pleasure as she felt it tweak her nipples, making her pussy clench. "Mmm, seems this wants to be daring." Ragyo said to herself as she felt the substance cover her arms, doing the same to her nails and made them sharper than they already were. She clenched her fists as she felt much more powerful than she would normally, which was saying something because of the fact that she was infused with Life Fibers.

She brought her hands down and moaned as she rubbed her clit while the symbiote thrusted harder inside her. She felt close already. "Oh yes, don't stop!" She let out, moaning loudly as her legs bucked and spasmed. The substance or symbiote reached her neck and her pussy clenched its tightest.

She felt oh so close as the substance moved up her head.

"OHH~!" Ragyo exclaimed as her pussy clenched tightly on the symbiote. She sighed as she allowed the symbiote to enter her open mouth and nose. She could still breathe, but now she couldn't see.

'Hello there, Ragyo Kiryuin,' A voice said in the woman's mind.

'Huh? Who's there?' Ragyo asked, looking around in the darkness around her.

'We are what you accepted with open arms. In your human terms, we are called a Symbiote,' The voice said. Ragyo soon identified the voice she heard was her own.

'How interesting. I didn't expect to hear you speak. Especially with my own voice. Please tell me more, whatever your name is.'

'We can only speak as we are in the process of bonding with you as we speak. As for your own voice, the more we bond, the more we synchronize with you yourself. We must say, your Life Fibers as making this phase much more...pleasant,' Ragyo's voice or the symbiote replied.

'And here I thought you wouldn't mix.' she thought in amusement.

The symbiote chuckled with Ragyo's voice, echoing around her, 'Trust us, if we didn't have this compatibility, we would be the ones in control. This allows us to mutually benefit. We are providing you the power you so crave while we benefit off you as our host. With this bond, you can accelerate your plans and feed your pleasure that much more~' It explained.

'So you can see everything in my mind.' Ragyo evaluated.

'Correct. You are becoming us and we are becoming you. We will be of mutual body and mind. Does that sound appealing?' The symbiote replied, answering another question Ragyo had in her mind.

'Of course. Especially if you're capable of more than just giving me claws.'

Ragyo then had the impression that the voice was smirking, 'On that, we can agree. By completely bonding with us, all your physical strengths will be heightened. And, should you wish to procreate...' The voice trailed off, giving Ragyo a definite guess.

'Oh? My my, you're just spoiling me now.' Ragyo thought with a growing smirk on her face.

'Bonding with us is purely beneficial. The only true weakness we possess is the need to avoid what you humans call 'Fire' and very loud 'Sounds'. Those are never pleasant for us or our host, as you can imagine,' The Symbiote explained, telling Ragyo the pros and cons.

'I'll be sure to keep those in mind.' Ragyo replied with a nod of her head.

'Excellent. Are you ready to bond with us, Ragyo Kiryuin?' The voice asked.

'I'd be lying if I said no.' Ragyo said with a small chuckle.

'Very well. Let's commence!" The voice said.

Immediately, Ragyo moaned as the Life Fibers in her body reacted. Her eyes rolled up to the back of her head, showing only the white of her eyes. The symbiote that covered her body slimmed down until it looked as if it was a second skin. Her privates could still be seen as well. Her hair took on a slightly darker tint to it as well. Her teeth also sharpened, looking that much deadlier. Her face also became much like her body, black as the night itself.

Once the process finished, Ragyo Kiryuin got up from the ground and looked herself over with her white eyes, "I...We are complete!" She said as the Life Fibers in her body filled her with much adrenaline.

She flexed her claws and looked at her body before grabbing at her breasts and hummed, much more sensitive they felt before. "That feels much better. Perhaps we should test this new body out," She said to herself.

'Judging from your mind, that assistant of yours could be useful.' The symbiote said in a suggestive tone.

Ragyo's black face along with her completely white eyes made her grin much more frightening than it usually would be. She turned and walked back to the direction of her mansion and licked her lips.

However, she then remembered she had a helicopter waiting for her and that she was basically naked. She picked up her clothes and put them on top of her symbiote and sighed as the symbiote receded from her body and hid in her clothes while some of it was still occupying her pussy. Her eyes also rolled down into their proper position, making her _look_ normal again.

With hiding the evidence, she walked in the direction of her helicopter.

(Later)

The helicopter touched down before Ragyo stepped out and was met by Rei Hououmaru, just the girl she was looking for, "Hello, Rei. I take it things have been going well while I was off?" Ragyo said, holding back from saying 'we' and 'us'.

"Yes Ragyo-sama, did you find anything of usefulness?" Rei asked.

Ragyo smirked at the opportunity laid before her, "Why yes, Rei. I'll be happy to show you in my office once you are done with your duties. Sound nice?" She told her most trusted worker as the symbiote shivered slightly along her clothes and her pussy.

"Of course Ragyo-sama." Rei replied with a nod.

"Very good. Now, Rei. You wouldn't have happened to see Nui today, would you?" Ragyo asked as she began walking inside with Rei by her side.

"Yes, she's in the lounge area."

"Alright. I'll see you later with Nui as well. For now, I would like to see her," Ragyo said, implying Rei can return to her duties.

"Yes Ragyo-sama." Rei said before splitting off from Ragyo to resume what she had been doing.

Ragyo smiled before going to the lounge area Rei had said her youngest daughter was. Upon reaching the room, Ragyo stepped in to see her.

Nui herself was drinking some tea without a care in the world before turning her head when she heard footsteps.

"Hello, Nui. Relaxing well?" Ragyo asked as she stepped in front of her youngest daughter with a smile.

Nui immediately made an opened mouth smile. "Of course Ragyo-sama."

Ragyo chuckled a bit at that, "Would you care to come with me to my office? I found something that will help us...possibly rein in dear Satsuki," She said with a smirk.

"Of course Ragyo-sama." Nui said as she stood up and promptly finished her tea before following Ragyo.

They both made it in Ragyo's office where she closed the door behind them.

"Alright Nui, pay close attention." Ragyo said before Nui nodded. Smiling, Ragyo moaned as her eyes rolled to the back of her head. As that happened, the black substance moved from her clothes and spread across her skin. She moaned more before she revealed her new form to Nui. The clothes that were on her just happened to fall off onto the floor, "How does this look, my daughter?" She asked seductively, looking at Nui with her white eyes.

"Wow...what is it?" Nui asked.

"A being which compliments Life Fibers. We shall explain later. For now, entertain us by removing your garments." Ragyo said as the symbiote idly thrusted in her pussy, making her hum along with her words, "We'll show you our bond."

"Okay!" Nui Harime replied before she stripped out of her clothing with a smile on her face. She always liked pleasing her mama, so to speak.

Ragyo smiled before she pressed her blackened lips against Nui's while her clawed hands gently caressed her daughter's chest.

Nui shivered with a moan while the black suit seemed to twitch with Nui feeling the sharp claws reaching down and rubbing her ass.

Ragyo pulled her lips away from Nui before immediately laying kisses onto the girl's neck. The clawed hand reached from behind Nui and began to caress her pussy.

"Ooooh~" Nui let out as she shivered from the pleasure. This wasn't the first time Ragyo had her way with her youngest daughter and it showed with how wet she was.

"Such a naughty girl~" Ragyo let out as she moved from Nui's neck and began to lick her chest.

"Ah, Ragyo-sama~" The younger girl let out as she moaned from the double pleasure. She yelped as she felt Ragyo used her free hand to tweak the nipple that she wasn't licking, making her squirm a bit.

"That's right, revel in pleasure." Ragyo said before moving down and laid kisses along Nui's body. She moved her hand from behind to in front of the girl's pussy and rubbed and caressed it much more.

"Ahhhh!" Nui moaned as pleasure rocked her body much more than usual.

Ragyo smiled as she knew that having the symbiote near Nui made her feel more than usual due to the Life Fibers that practically made up her body and how compatible Ragyo mentioned earlier. "How does that feel?" She said.

"Ahh~ Ragyo-sama~ It's amazing~!" Nui told as her hips twitched from the sensations.

Ragyo licked her lips before the symbiote took the initiative and stretched itself from the claws and into Nui's cunt.

Nui gasped at the unusual sensation before moaning as loudly as she felt whatever Ragyo did stir up her insides, making her curl her toes in pleasure, "Ragyo-sama~!"

"That's right Nui, feel every inch as we stir you up." Ragyo in amusement while smirking, almost showing her new fangs. Her white eyes narrowed as she moved her fingers to where she knew Nui's more sensitive areas.

"Ahh~! Ragyo-sama~!" Nui exclaimed as her pussy suddenly clenched from the pleasure.

"We'll bet you want us to go faster, don't you?" Ragyo said as her fingers curled a bit, making Nui gasp.

"Y-Yes! I'm close~ Please, Ragyo-sama~!" Nui begged as the juices from her lower region leaked.

"Ask and you shall receive." Ragyo said before using the strength of her Life Fibers and the Symbiote to move her fingers incredibly fast, making Nui climax from the pleasure the speed provided.

"AHHHHH~!" Nui exclaimed as she spasmed from the overwhelming pleasure Ragyo gave her. Her tongue came out while her eye went from the sensation.

Ragyo smirked while seeing the juices splash across the claws. "Good girl."

Soon enough, Nui panted as she regained her senses, "That was incredible, Ragyo-sama!" She said with a smile.

"Good because we're going to do much more~ Are you ready for us, Nui?" Ragyo said as she cupped her own breasts.

"Us?" Nui asked, confused.

Ragyo smirked with her blackened lips, "Us. The symbiote and Ragyo are one, bonded. Don't worry, we are still us, Nui," She said as she rubbed her blackened pussy.

Nui still looked confused, but she looked at the pussy as Ragyo hummed with a moan before a dick slowly rose up from it.

"W-Wha? You have a...!" Nui let out surprised at the sight.

"That is correct. With the Life Fibers in our body, we are using the Symbiote to encourage our body to grow the male organ. Its as real as it gets~ Now, come here, our daughter," Ragyo said while the black and slightly veiny dick throbbed. Altogether, with Ragyo's new form, she looked like a Goddess. "It requires your delicate touch~"

Nui assumed by 'delicate touch' that she meant her expertise towards weaving Life Fibers. She was really good with her hands. Still, she knew what her mama meant, "A-Alright, Ragyo-sama. Whatever you say~" She said as got down on her knees. From there, she delicately grabbed Ragyo's new appendage and began moving her hand up and down along the shaft, "Does it feel good?" She asked, never having handled an actual dick before.

"Faster." Ragyo ordered while lightly gasping. It felt nice.

Nui nodded and brought her other hand along the throbbing shaft and moved her hand faster along it. It felt nice to service her mama once in a while.

She licked her lips before moving closer and gave the tip a lick. It almost felt like rubber to her, but it definitely smelled like Ragyo.

"Ohh~ Keep doing that, Nui~" Ragyo let out, showing her apparent inexperience with the appendage. "Don't hold a thing back." she ordered.

Nui nodded before she licked more of her mama's rubbery dick with a hum. It throbbed so much from her actions.

"Ohh~ That's right, Nui. Please us more~" Ragyo let out as she rubbed the curves along her breasts.

"Mmmm~" Nui hummed before she began moving her lips onto the tip of Ragyo's blackened dick took a bit of it into her mouth, hoping this would please her mama.

"Ooooh~!" Ragyo moaned she felt the new sensation.

Excited, Nui decided to put more of the shaft into her mouth, wanting for Ragyo to get the full experience. It was a tad bit difficult, but that her physiology of being born from Life Fibers, she was able to take it in with a shudder.

Her lips were stretched wide open with Ragyo hearing the symbiote growling. 'Something the matter?' Ragyo thought while moaning from the pleasure Nui gave her.

'We enjoy the sensation.' The symbiote replied.

'So true. We most certainly love how Nui services us~' Ragyo thought while precum leaked out of her throbbing dick and into Nui's mouth. This of course made the girl lick it up and bob her head faster.

"Ohhh~! More~ We want more~!" Ragyo and the symbiote let out in unison before grabbing their daughter's head with their claws and began thrusting in her mouth.

"Mmmm!" Nui let out as she felt Ragyo's dick move in and out of her mouth. She looked up and saw the lust in her mama's white eyes, making her shudder.

"Suck harder Nui." Ragyo ordered her daughter while grunting.

Nui complied and, with her strength granted to her by the Life Fibers, sucked her mama's dick with more power than a normal human could ever hope to accomplish. She also made sure to swirl her tongue when she could.

"Ngggh, an! Such a good little slut!" Ragyo moaned as she thrusted faster, knew her youngest daughter could take it. Her dick throbbed rapidly as she felt close. "Don't drop a single drop!" She exclaimed before she moaned as cum began invading Nui's mouth, making her swallow her mama's seed. The blackened woman's fangs were bared while her tongue came out, showing her enjoyment. Her tongue also seemed to have extended much more than normal. The dark cock throbbed rapidly as this all happened.

Nui shuddered as she tightened her lips around Ragyo's shaft, intending to follow her order. She made sure to gulp down every drop like the obedient child she prided herself to be.

"Ahhhh, we love this feeling~!" Ragyo and the symbiote together while their hips bucked a few times from the pleasure.

Soon enough, Ragyo stopped cumming before she pulled her dick out of her daughter's mouth. Nui herself shivered in delight for servicing her mother, "Did that feel good, Ragyo-sama?" She asked before she licked her lips, making sure she didn't accidentally spill a bit of the seed. Her pussy was drenched as it was.

"Splendid~" Ragyo replied as her dick throbbed, "Are you aware what comes now, our dear daughter?" She asked as she stroked her own dick with her clawed hands.

"Uh huh." Nui spoke while nodding her head with her usual open mouth smile.

Ragyo grinned as she gently laid her daughter onto her back. She presented her throbbing dick in front of Nui's wet pussy. The girl's body reacted by twitching and letting out more juices, showing her excitement. "Get ready Nui."

Nui nodded and braced herself before she felt Ragyo's dick enter her, filling. She let out a small moan before her mama suddenly thrusted, making her yelp as she felt something tear inside her. Thankfully, the searing pain only lasted a few seconds before the Life Fibers in her repaired the damage to where she sighed in slight relief.

Ragyo, however, groaned as she let herself get used to the sensation that only the man can feel. She felt so powerful having sweet, little Nui underneath her. This was why she gave herself to the Life Fibers. She moved her shaft out a bit. She could already feel Nui's walls clenching, wanting more.

She gave a savage grin before she started to slam in and out, the pleasure feeling too good to go slow, making Nui yelp with a wide eye.

"Ahh~ Ragyo-sama~!" Nui let out as she felt pleasure unlike what she would normally feel from Ragyo. "It's so big~"

"And your little hole is squeezing me all over~!" Ragyo said as she thrusted her member inside Nui. She and the symbiote enjoyed this feeling of pleasure equally so. They wanted more.

They started to move faster and harder, making Nui cry out louder. "Ragyo-sama! Ragyo-sama~!" Nui moaned as her pussy clenched tightly.

Ragyo grinned before grabbing her youngest daughter's hips and used her strength to move her daughter in and out of her daughter with much more power, "That's it, Nui. More~ We want more~!" The symbiote and Ragyo said in unison with her fully white eyes narrowing with lust.

"Ah! Ragyo-sama~!" Nui moaned as her legs locked around Ragyo's waist, making her moan more as she felt her mama's shaft go deeper inside her. She felt so close to her climax as her pussy twitched rapidly.

"Take it in Nui, take it all in!" Ragyo exclaimed before she thrusted inside of her daughter and moaned as her dick throbbed rapidly. It let out cum and lots of it inside Nui. Pleasure coursed through her as her hips were locked, making her cum unable to escape.

"AHHHHHH!" "TAKE IN ALL OF OUR SEED!" Nui and Ragyo exclaimed respectively as they both moaned, pleasure overflowing their senses.

A couple of moments afterwards, Ragyo sighed, coming down from the pleasure, before looking at Nui to see her have a face of pure bliss. Ragyo smiled with her blackened face before carefully out of her daughter. It came out with a barely audible pop, "Tell us, daughter. How does it feel~?" She asked while her dick lightly throbbed.

"So...so...good..." Nui spoke, the pleasure likely making it difficult to properly get her senses back in order.

Ragyo grinned at the state her daughter was in before sitting her down on her personal chair, given that they were still in her office, "We are pleased to hear that. Nui, would you, perhaps, like to become like us~?" She asked.

"What...do you...mean?" Nui asked, a mix of being dazed and being confused.

Ragyo grinned, showing her sharp teeth. She then moved her clawed hands along the enhanced curves along her blackened body and skin, "This, our daughter. By bonding with the Symbiote, everything about you will be enhanced as we have. You will be able to be much more. What do you say~?" She proposed as her own pussy twitched from the memory of how she bonded.

Nui perked up hearing that and smiled. "Absolutely!"

Ragyo chuckled before she smiled, "Very well. Then, here you go!" She said before thrusting deep in Nui with a small grunt.

Nui moaned before looking down and noticed a black substance moving from where she and Ragyo were connected down her legs. As it traversed down her leg, she felt the invisible muscles in her legs begin to show. She shivered as she felt goosebumps across her skin from the cool feeling going further along her legs. Once it covered her dainty feet, she moaned as the toenails extended, becoming sharp like her mama's.

Deciding to help the process, Nui put her hands on the Symbiote that made it's way up her belly. It stuck to her hands and covered them before she lightly gasped as her nails became sharp as well. Once it covered her breasts, nui moaned as she felt it grope her small chest. She was surprised to see her chest go up a few cup sizes as well.

Nui moaned as she felt Ragyo pull her shaft out of her before the substance covered her head and up her hair. She yelped as she felt the substance start to dig into her purple petal eye cover before she couldn't see entirely. She exclaimed as her pussy suddenly clenched and came on Ragyo's office.

'Why hello there, Nui Harime~' A voice, her own teasing voice spoke.

'W-Who are you?' Nui gasped in her mind.

Laughter was heard around her, 'We are what is around Ragyo and yourself. At this moment, we're currently bonding with you,' The voice, her voice said with Nui's usual teasing tone.

'Wow!' Nui said.

'And, if you accept, we can give you everything Ragyo has along with fixing your eye,' Nui's voice, the symbiote said, referring to Nui's destroyed left eye.

'But not even the life fibers can fix it.' Nui replied, remembering how Ishin Matoi used the Scissor Blade, a weapon made to cut Life Fibers, stabbed her eye with it and cut the Fibers in said eye, making her usual regeneration unable to fix it.

'While that would normally be the case, do you remember what Ragyo did to bring out that male organ that throbs between her legs? We are unique and a simple fixing of your eye is quite trivial,' The symbiote explained, 'So, what do you say? Would you care to bond with us and become one?'

'Of course.' Nui replied, excited at the prospect of getting her eye back.

'Very well, let us begin,' The symbiote said.

Nui immediately moaned as she felt something change in her eye. She felt her eye, that was gone, begin restitching itself until she felt she could see again before she gasped as both her eyes rolled back and became like Ragyo's. Everything other process was the same as Ragyo. The only true difference was Nui's big hair dyed from the symbiote, becoming a distorted grey.

Ragyo watched with amusement as Nui flexed her new claws.

"I...We feel wonderful, Ragyo-sama~" Nui said, looking at her mama with both completely white eyes, just like Ragyo.

"Excellent." Ragyo said with a smile as the symbiote around her body receded, hiding in her pussy with a moan as her eyes went down, showing her natural color, "How would you feel about including Rei or would you perhaps like to test out your new body?" She asked as put her hands on her breasts while her dick, which was still there and not black symbiote colored, throbbed.

"Ooooh, that sounds like fun~" Nui said with a toothy grin.

"Excellent. Hide under my desk and we'll surprise her ourselves," Ragyo said as she walked and sat on her chair in front of her desk, leaving space for her daughter, "Rei will be here shortly."

Nui promptly moved over and went under the desk.

Ragyo smirked as she brought her throbbing appendage to her daughter's mouth and moaned as she felt Nui suck her off with her blackened lips. She spread her legs further before she heard a knock. "Come in."

Rei opened the door and slowly walked inside. "You called for me Ragyo-sama?"

Ragyo hummed a bit as she felt Nui's newly long tongue further give her pleasure before addressing her assistant, "Yes, Rei~ I want to tell you what it was I brought back from the crash sight. It certainly will benefit us in the long run," She said while aware her breasts were on display given the fact that she hadn't changed into her normal outfit.

"What is it?" asked Rei, used to seeing Ragyo's breasts in plain view and didn't react.

Ragyo smirked before humming as a piece of the symbiote moved from her pussy onto her hand showing it to Rei, 'This! This is a being that is greatly compatible with Life Fibers. By bonding with the Symbiote, Our plans can further succeed," She said softly moaning as she came in her daughter's mouth, who promptly swallowed.

"A symbiote?"

Ragyo nodded, "You could say that it acts like a Kamui in regards to increasing our overall ability along with some added benefits. Would you perhaps like a demonstration?" She asked as she felt Nui licked her cock clean while Ragyo's eyes were tempted to go up to her skull a few times.

"Yes please Ragyo-sama." bowed Rei.

Ragyo grinned as she felt Nui's lips off of her shaft before standing up, walked around her desk, and showed her throbbing dick, "Behold, this is one thing the symbiote can accomplish!" She said.

Rei's eyes went wide eyed with her mouth hanging open at the sight.

"Surprised? Thanks to the Symbiote, it encouraged the Life Fibers in our body to grow this organ along with the ability to conceive," Ragyo mentioned while holding up her dick and stroked it a bit to show it was real.

"O-Oh my." Rei said, surprised.

Ragyo grinned at the look her assistant gave, "And, without a Kamui, we can transform to a form befitting our status. Would you perhaps like to witness it?" She asked as her dick throbbed rapidly.

Rei gulped and nodded without looking away.

"Very well. However, we request that you remove your garments, they won't be needed after we're done," Ragyo said with a shudder as her dick continued to pulsate.

"Yes Ragyo-sama." Rei said and, without hesitation, began removing her clothes with practiced ease. Knowing Ragyo's slightly perverse habits, Rei knew to remove her undergarments as well until she was completely naked.

"Oh yes~ We like what we see Rei~ Ohh~!" Ragyo exclaimed as she came onto her assistant's body with a moan while her eyes rolled back up her head and stayed there while staring sensually.

Rei herself blushed more feeling the sperm land on her legs, stomach, and chest.

Ragyo smirked as her completely white eyes looked over Rei's embarrassed form, "How does it feel Rei? Does our essence please you~?" She asked, sounding double toned.

"Yes Ragyo-sama." Rei replied as she shivered from the feeling of Ragyo's cum.

"We are pleased to hear. Are you ready then?" Ragyo asked as the Symbiote hiding in her pussy got ready.

Rei nodded with a gulp.

Ragyo smirked before tilting her head up as she moaned. The symbiote oozed out of Ragyo's pussy and rapidly spread across her skin and her dick, coating them black. Her eyes, already having rolled up, didn't change from their state while the nails on her hands and feet sharpened again. Her breasts expanded a few cups from where they were originally as her nipples were erect and completely pronounced, "How does our true form look, Rei?" She asked as she looked at her assistant with her lustful white eyes.

Rei was stunned before finding herself tackled by her boss.

They both fell to the floor before Ragyo grinned with her sharpened teeth showing, "Oh? Are you speechless? Does our body excite you?" She said as she moved one of her clawed hands and rubbed Rei's right breast.

"Ahh!" Rei let out as she felt pleasure. This wasn't the first time Ragyo has played with her, but her boss's new appearance threw her off.

Ragyo continued to grin before she moved her head closer and kissed Rei and didn't waste time making out with her. While also shoving her long tongue inside without warning.

"Mmph~ Gnnk!" Rei gagged as she felt Ragyo's tongue invade her mouth and throat. She yelped as she felt Ragyo's other clawed hand rub her clit furiously.

'We will turn her into our toy.' Ragyo and the symbiote thought in unison.

"Mm! Mmph! Egh~!" Rei exclaimed as the dark-skinned girl's spasmed while her pussy let out juices abruptly, having cum from Ragyo vigorous actions.

'Aww, too quick.' Ragyo thought, slightly disappointed. She understood why Rei couldn't up. She was just human and Ragyo is a Life Fiber Hybrid who is infused with the power the symbiote gave. In a way, she was glad it was quick because she could still do more.

Rei breathed in slowly, not used to the level of pleasure her Lady gave her and this was just foreplay. She could still feel Ragyo's tongue in her throat, making it hard to let air in. When it pulled out though she gasped with Ragyo shaking her head.

"You'll have to keep up, or else this will be boring."

"Y-Yes...Ragyo-sama," Rei said as she attempted to clear her throat.

Ragyo nodded before looking at her desk, "Come out, Nui. I have a special treat for you~" She said, remembering how her youngest daughter was still in her new form. Her dick throbbed in anticipation.

Nui poked her head out with Rei caught off guard. "Yes, Ragyo-sama?" Nui asked, showing her new symbiotic form.

"We want you to come over here and test your new body on Rei's mouth. You show be able to grow one just like us~" Ragyo said as her blackened dick throbbed, showing her excitement.

"Yes Ragyo-sama!" Nui said as she got up from the desk and skipped to where the two were. From there, she began rubbing her pussy. She moaned as she felt the symbiote arranging the Life Fibers that made her up. She shivered as she felt the familiar sensation of regeneration focus in her nether region before she exclaimed a bit as the male organ suddenly extended from her clit. It was as black as the symbiote at the moment and it showed how real it was by throbbing.

Ragyo smirked at the sight as she saw Nui come closer and, without warning, thrust her new shaft into Rei's surprised and open mouth. "Go ahead and use her mouth like a toy, don't hold back." Ragyo encouraged.

Nui grinned in response before thrusting in and out of Rei's mouth.

"Mmph! Mm!" Rei let out as she felt the appendage's texture and girth go inside her mouth and throat.

"Ahhhh! Her mouth is so warm and wet!" Nui cried out.

Ragyo watched in morbid fascination as she saw Rei's throat bulge each time her daughter thrusted in. Her own dick throbbed with want before she moved down and thrusted into her assistant's pussy without hesitation while she felt something tear and moaned hungrily as she saw blood leak from Rei. "Ooh? Seems I took your cherry." Ragyo let out in amusement.

While Rei was very glad it was her boss that took her first-time, it didn't make it any less painful as tears leaked from her eyes at the feeling while her mouth involuntarily clenched, something Nui enjoyed as she felt Rei's mouth get tighter, "Mmpgh~!" She let out in a mixture of pleasure and pain.

"Come on, suck and lick it!" ordered Nui with a moan.

Rei was barely able to acknowledge that before she sucked on Nui's dick, making sure to swirl her tongue around it, despite her inexperience.

Ragyo smirked at the sight of her daughter showing some bit of independence before thrusting in and out of Rei's virgin pussy. It was as tight as she expected. "Ah yes, I should have taken your cherry when you first started." She said.

"Mhm~ Mm!" Rei let out as she was fucked by the mother and daughter duo. This wasn't the first time she was ravaged by them, but this new development got her out of what she considered her comfort zone. Thankfully, the pain went away shortly after. The feeling of her pussy and mouth getting stretched out made her shiver with each movement.

"My my, are you enjoying yourself?" Ragyo said, amusement evident in her voice as she thrusted harder.

"Mmmmph!" Rei moaned and hummed, causing Nui to let out a growl of pleasure. She felt both dicks throb rapidly. Were they close? She certainly was. "I'm gonna cum!" Rei vocally expressed, which made the two thrust faster.

"So are we~!" Ragyo and Nui said together as they hilted in their respective holes. Cum flooded Rei's mouth, forcing her to swallow while her pussy clenched tightly as she felt her boss's essence fill her, making her let out a loud moan. Her eyes widened feeling it go down her stomach and into her uterus. Soon enough, they all stopped their individual climax and panted with Rei looking the most exhausted, given that she was just a human and the two were much more than that.

Ragyo and Nui pulled out of Rei with smirks on their faces, "Hey, Ragyo-sama. Do you think she could be like us?" She asked while lifting up her hand, showing her symbiotic skin.

"We see no reason why she couldn't." Ragyo said with a smirk before having Nui get something for her. Once she left, she patted Rei's head, "Rei, would you perhaps like to fully become like us and Nui?" She asked, her dick throbbing at the thought.

"Yes Ragyo-sama." Rei replied, both interested and obligated to never deny the one who had saved her.

Ragyo grinned widely as she pulled Rei's green aviator sunglasses off of her, "Excellent!" She said before thrusted right into Rei.

"Ahh~!" Rei let out before she saw the same black substance she saw on Ragyo spread around her. She moaned as Ragyo pulled out and watched as Rei's respective nail grew and sharpened. Rei groaned as her breasts grew a couple of sizes before the completely covered her.

'Hello there, Rei Hououmaru,' Rei's own voice sounded out.

'Who's there?' Rei herself asked.

'We are what is covering your body. We are the symbiote. At this moment, we are bonding with you, but at a slower rate than Ragyo Kiryuin and Nui Harime,' The symbiote replied.

'I see.'

'You are not that scared?' The symbiote asked, sounding curious.

'If this is to help Ragyo-sama, then I'll accept anything for her,' Rei said, showing her devotion to Ragyo.

'Mmmm, you are certainly loyal. We expected a mere human to be frightened.'

At this, Rei smirked, 'I'm more than a 'mere human'.' She said.

Meanwhile, Nui came back to Ragyo's office with a literal bundle of glowing threads,

"Ragyo-sama, I brought the Life Fibers you asked for, straight from the Original Life Fiber!" She said with a jovial tone.

"Excellent Nui." Ragyo praised as she carefully and lovingly took the Life Fibers from Nui, "Now truly watch as Rei truly becomes one of us~" She said as she placed the bundle onto Rei's stomach. The symbiote immediately reacted and pulled the ends and began injecting them into the assistant's body.

Rei's body immediately began spasming as the foreign objects entered her. It entered her body, her blood, her very being. Normally, an injection of Life Fibers was fatal with a miniscule chance of survival. However, the symbiote carefully weaved and moved the Life Fibers, converting her. Her heart pumped and pumped and pumped as Life Fibers invaded and changed its composition, making it much more durable and faster. It spread across her skin, giving her regeneration. Her strength grew to superhuman levels. Once everything changed, Rei's body went limp, panting in exhaustion while her eyes rolled up her head, showing her complete bond with the symbiote.

Nodding to herself, Ragyo carefully stabbed her hand into Rei's chest and pulled something out. Still connected, Ragyo witnessed a glowing purple heart beating in her hand. Rei was now a Life Fiber Hybrid like her and Nui. "Perfect, absolutely perfect." Ragyo said with a true smile before letting the heart go.

It immediately retracted into Rei's chest and the hole that immediately stitched itself back together as if it were clothing being weaved and fixed before it showed no mark, no scar of any kind. Rei gasped as air filled her lungs, completely waking from her stunned state, "I...We are...like you, Ragyo-sama?" Rei asked as she sat up and looked at her clawed hands and expanded breasts.

"Yes, go ahead and test out your powers now." Ragyo encouraged.

Rei looked up with her completely white eyes before nodding as she lifted up a foot and slammed it down, slightly cratering the floor, "This...This is how strong you normally are, Ragyo-sama?" She asked, in awe of how powerful she currently was. She always dreamt of being just like Ragyo and now she was!

"More or less." Ragyo said with a shrug. Their strong varied given that she was gifted with Life Fibers from the Original Life Fiber and Nui was born from it.

"I see. Ragyo-sama, is it possible for us to..." Rei trailed as she motioned to Ragyo and Nui's dicks, indicating her ability to grow the same.

"Of course, try it out." Ragyo encouraged her while placing Rei's glasses back on her.

Rei nodded as she rubbed her clit and moaned as she felt what Nui felt. Her newly bonded Life Fibers were manipulated and worked on her lower region before crying out as a cock of her own sprouted. It throbbed as she panted. It also seemed to have purple veins across it thanks to the life fibers.

Ragyo chuckled at the sight while she and Nui rubbed their dicks, "How does it feel, Rei? To truly become like us? To truly stand in our presence? To now be more than a human~?" She said, double toned as she and Nui came on Rei's blackened body and dick.

"It feels amazing." she spoke before touching her own dick, and jolted with a gasp from the feeling. "Ah~!"

"Oh? Do you, perhaps, want to test it out?" Ragyo asked, amused while idly wondering who she would test it on. "In fact, I'll bet Nui would be happy to volunteer, isn't that right?"

Nui looked at Ragyo before smirking, "Sure! We'll let her do us!" She said before coming down to her knees, in front of Rei's symbiotic dick. "Oooh, it looks bigger than mine."

"You think so?" Rei asked before moaning, feeling Nui begin licking her new appendage.

"And tastes good~" Nui said before she licked around the underside before bobbing her head on Rei's shaft.

Ragyo licked her lips at the sight before suddenly grabbing Nui's legs, lifted her and thrusted into her pussy. This action forced Nui's body to be in midair and holding Rei's hips to keep from falling while the dick was still in her mouth.

"Ahhhhh~!" Rei let out as she felt the new sensations of pleasure Nui's mouth gave. And, given the new position, Rei began to thrust as Nui was spitroasted from both sides.

"Mmmm~" Nui let out as she felt her mama and Rei use her.

Ragyo grinned at Rei before thrusting in and out of her daughter. This position suited someone as powerful as she, that was for certain. Now that they were all like this, Satsuki, her eldest daughter, would be able to resist her, even with her ironclad will. Nui's pussy squeezed her with each thrust while Rei started thrusting herself from the sensation.

"Ohh~ This is amazing~!" Rei let out as she thrusted while her hands groped her own expanded breasts.

"And just imagine when we make Satsuki submit to us. We'll be in complete control of her and humanity will be food for the Life Fibers~" Ragyo said, grunting as she thrusted.

"Mmmph!" Nui let out as her pussy clenched tightly while her dick throbbed and came on the floor. Seemed she came already.

"Oh, Nui. You really do like being used by us, huh?" Ragyo said with a smirk as she thrusted faster. "You're going to be quite the fuck toy when we fill you up with our seed."

Nui shuddered excitedly while her dick throbbed.

Ragyo held Nui's hips and began used her strength to thrust faster with Rei doing the same for Nui's head, "That's it~ Take it, Nui!" Rei moaned. "Suck on it with all you have!"

Nui shivered more as she sucked on Rei's dick harder than before.

"Ohh~! We're going to cum, Ragyo-sama~" Rei let out as her dick throbbed and pulsated rapidly.

"So are we~" Ragyo said as her clawed hands held Nui harder, thrusting to her limit.

"Mmmmph~!" Nui let out as she came again, her mouth vibrating, her pussy clenching, and her dick spasmed as it let cum onto the floor.

"We're cumming~!" Rei exclaimed as she hilted herself. She moaned as her dick throbbed and let loose her seed into Nui's mouth, forcing the young Harime to swallow.

"So are we~!" Ragyo exclaimed as she came as well while her long tongue was let out. Her shaft pulsated as her essence went inside her daughter, filling her to the brim with her cum.

Nui went wide eyed feeling her body swell up in her stomach and uterus.

After a few pleasure filled moments, they stopped cumming and gently dropped Nui onto the floor with Rei panting the most, "We never want to be completely human ever again~" Rei commented as she enjoyed the sensation of being a Life Fiber Hybrid and how powerful she felt.

"That felt...heavenly~!"

Ragyo grinned in amusement before she sighed as her eyes rolled down and went back to normal while her symbiotic skinsuit outfit changed into a black version of her normal attire, "We are glad you think so. Now, we should pay our dear daughter a visit. I'm sure we can...convince her to join us now," She said with a smirk.

"Ok Ragyo-sama." Nui and Rei said before moaning as the Symbiote around them sifted and changed, transforming into dark versions of their usual outfits. Their eyes also rolled back to its original place.

(Later)

After having taken a helicopter to the Kiryuin Manor, where Ragyo suspected Satsuki to be, she, Nui, and Rei walked down the corridor and noticed upon the room leading to where she had the Kamui Junketsu placed, two guards were knocked unconscious. Ragyo chuckled to herself, knowing Satsuki's demeanor to those who get in her way.

"Seems she's already making herself welcome." Ragyo commented as she walked by the guards with Nui and Rei in tow.

As they entered they noticed Satsuki pouring her blood on Junketsu. Seems they made it in time to observe Ragyo's eldest daughter taking what she wasn't allowed to wear just yet. How naughty.

"Hi Satsuki-chan~!" Nui spontaneously said while waving her hands.

At the familiar voice, Satsuki flinched before turning her head to see the three who just entered to witness her naked form. Her blood still dripped onto the Kamui.

"My my, whatever could have warranted dear Satsuki to wear Junketsu," Ragyo said with an amused smile, silently enjoying the fact that she caught Satsuki literally red-handed.

"Mother." spoke the teen with a cold glare at her mother. "What are you doing here?"

Ragyo, amused at Satsuki's evasive behavior, shrugged, "Well, my daughter. I had come to see you in a...surprise visit. Imagine my surprise when I notice guards on the floor, but you attempting to put on your wedding dress earlier than anticipated. Tell me, Satsuki, what may be the occasion?" She admitted and asked with her usual smirk.

"That is my business and none of yours." Satsuki said, masking her expression. She didn't want Ragyo to know that she had come for Junketsu simply to have the necessary power to face a quite disobedient transfer student named Ryuko Matoi. The more evasive answers, the better.

Sadly, for Satsuki, Ragyo and Nui were too used to Satsuki's mannerisms to know she was deliberately hiding something, "Oh? Well, seeing as it is 'none of my business', I suppose I'll simply watch you put Junketsu on," She said with a smirk while still hanging by the only exit of the vault with Satsuki still dripping blood onto Junketsu. "That won't be a problem, now will it?"

Relief and annoyance, these were what Satsuki felt as she tried to make sense of the situation. Her mother was her for a reason that apparently involved her, but given the immediate circumstances, she would have to play her mother's game.

Outwardly sighing, Satsuki felt the Kamui she was holding stiffen before latching onto her, putting itself on her.

As this happened, Nui and Rei quietly and quickly grabbed Soroi and Kuroido's head and twisted swiftly, snapping their necks. They needed no witnesses for what Ragyo had planned.

Said woman watched in amusement as the kamui latched onto her daughter and transformed while accenting her body and curves.

Satsuki sighed as she flexed her fingers, feeling the power coursing through her before turning towards her 'guests' and noticed the two on the floor, "What is the meaning of this!?" She shouted.

"Now, Satsuki," Ragyo said, "Would you perhaps like to witness what we truly are?" She asked with a grin.

"What are you talking about?" Satsuki asked, confused and alert.

Suddenly, a shaft 'ripped' through the three's clothing's lower regions, revealing their throbbing members, "We are what's known as a Life Fiber Hybrid. A being much more powerful than a simple Kamui," Ragyo said for the two next to her. "And we've come to make you the same."

Satsuki's widened before noticing their members throb and pulsate rapidly before they exclaimed as black and white cum shot out of their shafts and onto her body. It was so sudden, she couldn't dodge.

Unknown to her, the black substance went into the Kamui and conversed with it. As the Symbiote could bond with Life Fibers quite well, they made an agreement and the Kamui ceased movement altogether, making Satsuki's body unable to move.

Smirking, Ragyo, Nui, and Rei moaned and groaned as their 'clothes' shifted around their bodies, revealing the fact that they were naked all along. Their eyes went up past their eyelids, showing only the whites of their eyes. The black slime-esque substance made the nails on their hands and feet sharper, their asses and breasts grew in proportion and had more curve than before, and their hair, their skin, their lips was if it were dyed black with their nipples, dicks, and pussy having not lost their texture despite the change in color.

"W-What in the world?" muttered Satsuki, noting her body wouldn't move and strained to make it, but it wouldn't budge.

Ragyo grinned as they walked up to Satsuki and then caressed her cheek sensually, "You will soon regret silently opposing us. We'll make you see our way," She said before she immediately kissed her daughter on the lips forcefully. She and the others immediately began playing with her body while Satsuki still unable to move from the Kamui restraining her.

The girl tried to push Ragyo away, but went wide eyed, feeling Rei and Nui grab and caress her legs and chest, her kamui feeling like it suddenly felt tighter. "Mmph! Ngh!" She let out as she tried ignoring the familiar feeling of pleasure as she had since she was a child.

Then, Ragyo did something she'd never done to her before. She shoved her tongue inside, passing her tongue and caressing her throat, making Satsuki gag at the unfamiliarity of it.

Unknown to her, a few drops were dripping from her nether region, something Rei and Nui noticed.

"Oooh, Satsuki-chan? Are you getting excited~?" Nui teased with a toothy grin before rubbing against her barely covered crotch.

"Mph! Mm!" Satsuki let out as she tried and once again failed to stop them.

Rei smirked at the sight as she, from behind Satsuki, began rubbing and groping the girl's breasts. "Your chest is developing quite nicely." Rei professionally commented.

Satsuki, much to her annoyance, moaned as she was attacked from three sides. Then, they abruptly backed away with Satsuki panting as she could breathe correctly.

"Now, we shall make you ours~" Ragyo said as she mentally commanded Junketsu.

The kamui shivered, as if it felt pleasure, before the area covering Satsuki's crotch opened, revealing her wet and twitching pussy to them all.

"W-What have you done to this kamui?!" Satsuki demanded.

Ragyo chuckled condescendingly, "Being a Life Fiber Hybrid blessed by the Original Life Fiber, we are a level above that of Junketsu. And, with the Symbiote enhancing my already perfect form, we equate to that of a Goddess to that of the Life Fibers that make up Junketsu," She explained as she brought out her throbbing dick. "And soon you'll be just like us."

Having an idea as to what Ragyo would do, Satsuki struggled harder, making the kamui tremble.

The three watched in amusement at Satsuki's vain attempt to escape. Ragyo grinned before she thrusted her dick in her daughter's lower lips without mercy, hilting herself instantly and tearing her hymen in one fell swoop.

"AHHHHHH!" Satsuki screamed in pain and slight pleasure as blood ran down her thigh.

Ragyo chuckled at that, "To think we took what made you a maiden. We will enjoy this immensely," She stated before thrusting into and out of her daughter's virgin pussy. "I've always wanted to take it, and now WE have."

"Agh! Ahh! Ugh!" Satsuki let out as she felt her mother have her way with her. The worst part was that she still couldn't move and her blood was circulating slower, making everything except her senses numb. The pain was already fading and with each thrust she more pleasure than the last, "Stop! No more~"

"Come now, you're my daughter so I know you can take it without any issue." Ragyo teased while also referring to Satsuki's abnormal resistance to pain.

That, however, didn't matter as Satsuki was completely unused to pain turning to pleasure like it was now, "N-No~" She let out, feeling the shaft move in and out of her.

"Sounds like Satsuki-chan is being shy." Nui commented with a giggle as she stroked her dick to the sight before them.

"It certainly seems that way, doesn't it?" Rei supplied as she stroked her appendage as well. "Shall we claim her rear Ragyo-sama?"

Ragyo looked at them as she thrusted and smirked, "Do as you wish. Decide amongst yourselves or do it together. We're sure our dear daughter wouldn't mind," She said before thrusting faster.

"Ah! Ah! Ah!" Satsuki involuntarily let out, now only feeling pleasure.

"Ohh~ Can we, Ragyo-sama?" Nui asked, excited at what Ragyo suggested.

"It would be interesting doing at the same time," Rei mused as their dicks throbbed.

"Let's try it together." Rei and Nui said in unison before coming to the sight of Satsuki's curved butt. The moment they pressed their hips together, they began moaning.

Their hips and legs seemed to meld together, making their proportions bigger. Their feet, their hips, their ass, their dicks combined, doubling in size.

As if in a trance, Nui and Rei groaned as their upper bodies seemed to gravitate to each other and do the same. Their torso and breasts grew. The two differences was that their heads and arms didn't combine. In fact, they looked to have assets that now rivaled Ragyo's.

Then, without hesitation, the two thrusted their bigger and combined dicks in Satsuki's ass causing them all to moan.

"AHHHHHHH!" Satsuki moaned, screamed? It was hard to tell, but she certainly felt a new sensation of pleasure. It was an overwhelming feeling to be sure

Ragyo grinned at Nui and Rei's new combined form. It made her curious as to what her form with her eldest daughter would look like when she was done with her. She certainly liked the sight of Nui and Rei sharing the same collarbone and Ragyo looked forward to asserting her dominance.

"Go ahead and cum inside whenever you're ready you two." She said.

Rei and Nui grinned, looking quite feral. Together, the three thrusted harder and faster, breaking Satsuki further. "Gladly Ragyo-sama!"

"Ugh~ Ah~ No~ More~!" Satsuki let out as she felt close to her climax.

"WE'RE CUMMING!" Ragyo, Nui, and Rei vocalized loudly as they all hilted in Satsuki's holes and they came, hard.

"AAGGHHHHH~!" Satsuki exclaimed as she broke immediately. Her pussy and ass clenched involuntarily like a vice. The seed filled her, overflowing her senses and didn't escape She gritted her teeth with drool leaking out as she felt her pussy and ass expand from the amount.

"Now, it is time to truly accept us!" The three said in unison before the black substance around them split from their crotch and trailed up Satsuki's body and in her filled holes.

Satsuki moaned and groaned involuntarily and the black symbiotic slime went down her legs and Junketsu and onto her heeled feet. She yelped as her toes extended and ripped through the fabric before the fabric extended and accentuated every detail of her sharp feet, making it feel like the skin and the fabric fused together with the black substance making her truly feel it.

When it reached her breasts, they expanded, making them bigger than a certain nuisance in the Academy she sort of runs. It didn't help that the Kamui decided to change its appearance and expose her breasts to the world like it did for her pussy earlier. When her arms and gloved hands were covered, her nails extended and ripped through, just like her feet before doing the same process of having the Life Fibers stick to her skin.

Satsuki groaned as the Symbiote entered and engulfed her head before she stilled and didn't see anything else, 'Greetings, Satsuki Kiryuin,' A voice, like hers rang through her head. 'Today you will be reborn anew.'

'What?! Who are you?' Satsuki demanded.

'We suppose we could spare that much. We are the Symbiote your mother so graciously accepted. Not that that will matter as Ragyo is currently...gifting you that which she gifted Rei Hououmaru,' The Symbiote said with what seemed like a tone of amusement.

'Get out of my head!' Satsuki shouted, her voice echoing on the black view she had before she started groaning as her head began hurting and throbbed before mentally screaming as she felt her resolve break.

Ragyo and the others, meanwhile, grinned as they pressed a ball of glowing red Life Fibers to Satsuki's stomach. The Symbiote then began threading and weaving into her body. Satsuki then let out a muffled groan as the Fibers ingrained itself into her body. The same process happened for Satsuki's being as her heart beating erratically while the Symbiote made sure to keep her alive, making the process work whether it wanted to or not.

As for Junketsu, it went through a process as well, making it much more black than it was white in color

Satsuki then moaned as her eyes rolled into her head like her mother before she sighed. She then turned her attention to Ragyo, "Hello, mother. I...we are now truly yours~" She said as she bowed, showing her new devotion.

"That's what we like to hear." Ragyo replied with a grin before nodding to herself, "Now, Satsuki. Why did you want to wear Junketsu this soon?" She asked, now knowing Satsuki wouldn't evade the question this time.

"There is a girl at my school who would dare disrupt our rule." Satsuki said truthfully.

"Hmm...what is her name, pray tell?" Ragyo asked, curious. There was very who could stand up to Satsuki and the Elite Four were no pushovers so it had to be someone who was in relation to...someone she might know...

"Ryuko Matoi."

It was Nui's head that spoke up, "Matoi? Isn't that the name of Isshin Matoi you asked us to kill, Ragyo-sama?" She asked, surprised.

"Yes. If we had to guess, she either is looking for revenge or plans to stop our plans. Any other information you have, dear?" Ragyo asked, caressing her daughter's cheek.

"She has her very own Kamui."

Ragyo's completely white eyes widened before narrowed with a grin, "Truly? We must see it for ourselves then. Would you be a dear and escort us there?" She stated, "Or would you perhaps like to meet your friend, Nonon?" She smirked.

"Nonon is at the school as we speak." Satsuki said with a nod.

Ragyo grinned before moaning as the Symbiote receded from her face and limbs before forming the dress she came in with. Her eyes, meanwhile, returned back to normal, "Then let us properly greet her," She responded.

The other responded by doing the same. Nui and Rei separated their body before the Symbiote formed their respective outfits. Satsuki was different, however. The Symbiote receded while Junketsu went back to it's military style sailor uniform. The Symbiote then hid under it. From there, they all walked out of the vault with the two bodies on the floor being completely forgotten.

(Later)

"Hey, Satsuki-sama!" Nonon waved to her best friend.

After Satsuki escorted her mother, Nui, and Rei to Honnouji Academy, Ragyo told them that she would allow Satsuki to meet with her friend alone...for now.

"Hello, Nonon. I take it there hasn't been much problem from Matoi at the moment?" Satsuki said in her usual tone, mildly resisting the urge to say 'we'.

"No, that annoying friend of hers is with her right now." Nonon said with an annoyed frown, referring to Mako Mankanshoku, the proud underachiever.

"I see. Well, Nonon, before I deal with Ryuko, I would like you to come with me to my office. It is time for us to start that which we've been putting off," Satsuki stated, showing her seriously.

"What's that?"

"I'll show you," Was all Satsuki before she walked in the direction of her office.

Unknown to Nonon, however, Ragyo and the others were in the next room over and swiftly ending the male members of the Elite Four with ease, making sure to do so before they used their Goku Uniforms.

"Here we are," Satsuki allowed her herself as she and her best friend walked in. She made sure to close and lock the door while her 'clothing' tingled.

"So, Satsuki-sama, what'd you want to talk abo-mmph!?" Nonon let out, interrupting as she felt Satsuki surprise her with a lustful kiss.

Her eyes nearly shot out of her head while feeling Satsuki's hands trail up her side with her face turning bright red. When Satsuki abruptly pulled away, Nonon stammered, "S-Satsuki! Wha?" Was all that came out, her brain having a hard time registering her ability to compose herself.

"What? I thought you always dreamed of that?" Satsuki said, with amusement clear on her face.

"W-Well, yeah, bu-" Nonon was interrupted.

"Then you should have no problem with this," Satsuki acted by immediately pressing her hand onto Nonon's small chest, making her gasp. "You're small, but adorable at the same time."

While indignant, Nonon couldn't help, but blush that compliment, "T-Thank you. Ohh~" She let out, now feeling something.

"In fact, you'd look much better without any clothes on." Satsuki said with a smirk.

Nonon blushed harder, "A-Are you sure, Satsuki-sama~" She let out, moaning.

"Yes, now strip." The black haired girl commanded.

Nonon shivered slightly, surprised at how upfront Satsuki was being before she hesitantly began removing her Goku Uniform. When her underwear was exposed Satsuki felt her kamui rippling in eagerness as she looked over her body.

"Hmm, yes. Truly a body die for. Now, Nonon. Are you ready for me to stop holding back?" Satsuki asked, looking directly at Nonon while she moved a hand done and rubbed at her friend's pussy through the fabric.

"AH!"

"Hmm...I'll show you how skilled we are~" Satsuki allowed herself before moved head down ripped Nonon's bra before she licked and then sucked Nonon's nipple, making the pink haired girl's eyes close at the unfamiliar sensation.

"Ahhh~" Nonon let out as her legs twitched from being pleasured, "Satsuki-san~"

Satsuki pulled back from the breast before smirk, "Get ready, Nonon~" Was the only she gave before she slowly moved her head down and began licking the pink haired girl's pussy through the wet fabric.

"AHHHH!" Nonon cried out, squirming from Satsuki's actions.

Satsuki inwardly smirked before she, with her teeth, pulled Nonon's panties down and began licking directly making the pink haired girl moan louder. "Mmm, tasty~"

"S...Satsuki-san~" Nonon moaned as she continued to squirm and shake, she already felt close as it was. 'This is a dream come true!' She thought, remembering the times she would imagine her and Satsuki together.

This made Nonon's pussy clench, making that much easier for Satsuki to lick. Then, right as Nonon was about to hit her climax, Satsuki extended her newly elongated tongue into Nonon's pussy just at the hymen and threw her friend way over the edge.

"AHHH! I'M CUMMING!" Nonon cried out as she came inside Satsuki's mouth. Her legs quivered and shook as the waves of pleasure hit her. Her moans echoed off the walls of her office.

Satsuki, meanwhile, lapped up her best friend's nectar. Her hand moved and moved the three clasps on her uniform while the Symbiote hiding in said uniform moved. As Nonon felt bliss, Satsuki transformed under her. Satsuki moaned as her eyes rolled back into her head, showing only the white of her eyes again before she let Nonon go, dropping her to her knees while her throbbing member was in front of the pleasured and ignorant band leader. "Now it's your turn." Satsuki said as the Symbiote finished transforming her, making her skin as black as night while her dick gained more definition.

"H-Huh?" Nonon let out as she slowly regained her senses after the euphoria she experienced to see a black appendage in front of her, "W-Wha! Satsuki, what is this?" She asked, surprised.

"A dick, penis, and to some, a taliwhacker." Satsuki said with obvious amusement lacing her voice.

"O-Oh. But, why do you have it? Aren't you a girl like me?" Nonon asked, confused and, admittedly, a bit aroused.

"We are much more than that." Satsuki said, smirking with her shark-like teeth showing, "Now, pleasure us."

"We? Us?" Nonon asked, confused and a bit concerned.

"Ah, do not worry. Being like this makes us treat ourselves this way," Satsuki replied while her dick throbbed more in anticipation. "Now suck."

Nonon, shivering at Satsuki's command, hesitantly licked at her best friend's new member before beginning to lick at the sides, wanting to please her crush.

Even though she would never imagine herself doing something like this.

Satsuki sighed, feeling the new sensation that accompanied her dick, "That's it, Nonon. Keep going," She encouraged as her dick lightly throbbed. "Make it wet all over without missing a spot."

Nonon got goosebumps at the tone her friend gave before licked the underside and hummed, making Satsuki moan softly, feeling more of her appendage get wetter. "How's this feel?" 'It tastes weird, is this what a real dick tastes like?'

"It feels good, Nonon. How about you try sucking on the tip?" Satsuki suggested as she rubbed her own expanded breasts.

"Yes Satsuki-sama." Nonon responded before she moved up the shaft, laying kisses along it before opening her mouth and began sucking the tip.

"Mmm, good girl." Satsuki praised as she rubbed her clawed hand on Nonon's pink hair.

Nonon closed her eyes at the sensation, feeling safe, before she got motivated to suck with a bit more power.

6She felt her lips stretch out the more she took in while Satsuki gasped and shivered.

Nonon~ Ahh~" The white eyed girl moaned as her dick twitched more.

"Mmph~" Nonon let out as she soon made it to the base, her mouth and throat being filled by Satsuki's throbbing cock.

6'This thing feels like it's getting bigger!'

6She thought, feeling the girth in her mouth before moving back carefully and then pushed her mouth in.

"Ohh~ Nonon~" Satsuki let out, feeling more pleasure than before, "More~ We want more~" She said, her voice sounded strange, as if it was two of her saying that instead of just her.

'I don't get why she's talking like that, but I'll make sure she can rely solely on me to make her feel good.' Nonon thought, determined before she sped up and began to bob her head on Satsuki's dick.

"Ahh~ Nonon~!" Satsuki moaned as she placed her other clawed hand on Jakuzure's moving head. "Your mouth feels perfect for us~!"

Nonon was still weirded out by the way Satsuki talked in third person, but she still enjoyed the compliment as she did her best to please her best friend by going faster. But then she felt Satsuki grip her head as the dick started to twitch.

"We want more~! More! More~!" Satsuki said as she suddenly began thrusting into Nonon's mouth, making said pink haired girl gag and hum. Satsuki's grinned as her dick throbbed rapidly inside Nonon's mouth. "Take in all of our seed~!" She exclaimed as her dick let out it's cum.

"Mmph~!" Nonon let out as she felt her friend's cum enter her mouth, forcing her to swallow as Satsuki had hilted herself. Nonon closed her eyes as she concentrated on taking in Satsuki's seed unaware of the door opening, as if it was just unlocked. 'It's so salty and tangy.'

Satsuki sighed before smirking as she pulled her dick out of Nonon, allowing her friend to breathe, "You have done us well, Nonon~" She said seductively.

Nonon panted and mildly blushed. She pleased her crush. She felt so happy at the praise.

"I take it she's ready, our daughter?" A frighteningly familiar voice rang out, making the pink haired girl look up in surprise.

"Yes, she's ready." Satsuki said, shocking Nonon further.

"Satsuki-sama, why is your mother here?" The naked girl asked, seeing Ragyo in a dark version of her dress. What really shook her was why Satsuki was using a tone that didn't sound disgusted or annoyed. It bothered her.

"She is going to help us make you like all of us." Satsuki said, smirking like her mother would.

"W-Wha? Satsuki are you saying you joined her?" Nonon asked, realizing what her crush meant. Worst part was if Satsuki was helping Ragyo, then she couldn't defend herself, given that her mother was always abnormally strong.

"Of course Nonon, now lay on your back." Satsuki commanded with Ragyo nodding in approval.

Nonon lowered her head, submitting. She knew that if she fought, Satsuki's mom could end her with minimal effort. So, she reluctantly laid on her back, "Okay," She said weakly.

"Good girl." Satsuki praised as her mother got close to her friend.

"You've done well to train her, dear. Now it is our turn," Ragyo mentioned before moaning as her eyes rolled back up her head and her dress dissolved, becoming her symbiotic skin suited form again with the Symbiote black dick throbbing.

Nearby, Nui and Rei did the same, locking the door behind them all.

Nonon went wide eyed and stunned before finding herself surrounded by them.

"Now, Nonon, it is time for you to embrace us. Prepare yourself~" Ragyo said as she got on her knees and then aimed her dick to Nonon's wet and twitching pussy. "You're going to scream in ecstasy."

"W-Well...can you at least be gentle?" Nonon begged as she felt Ragyo's dick press against her lower region, noting it to be bigger than Satsuki's "I wanted my first to be special."

"Oh it will be, but being gentle is overrated~" Ragyo said before immediately thrusting into Nonon, hilting herself and passing the girl's hymen in one fell swoop.

"AHH~!" Nonon screamed, a mix of pleasure and pain filling her senses. Her eyes widened and toes curled before gritting her teeth from the sensation and girth.

Satsuki, Nui, and Rei smirked at the sight of the blood dripping from Nonon's pussy while stroking their dicks in front of the two.

"Ohh~ You are just are tight as Nui was~" Ragyo commented before thrusting in and out of Nonon's small pussy. "Probably even tighter."

"Ngh~ Ahh~ Ah~" Nonon let out, the pain fading fast as she moaned, "Oh god~ Ah!" She exclaimed suddenly as her pussy suddenly clenched, letting them know she came already.

"Aw, don't lose it so soon, we want to hear you scream." Nui said with a smirk, not stopping her strokes.

"That is correct. And, we are not finished yet~" Ragyo said as she continued to thrust, despite Nonon's climax. "Not until you're just like us~"

"Ah! Ahh! Oh fuck~!" Nonon let out, cumming again, her inexperience with such pleasure showing.

"Mother, may I suggest thrusting at greater speeds?" Satsuki asked, still stroking her shaft, "It would make Nonon submit that much more."

"Already on it." Ragyo mentioned as she began thrusting faster, something that made Nonon moan louder.

"Oh god~! Fuck~! AHH~! Ohh~!" Nonon exclaimed, hitting her climax with every thrust, making her pussy clench harder and harder.

"Awww, her cries are making it harder not to cum." chuckled Nui.

"It is rather cumbersome, isn't it?" Rei agreed as her own dick throbbed.

"We, for one, let us enjoy the sounds that much more~" Satsuki said, grinning in sadistic glee.

Ragyo smirked at all their comments before thrusting harder, making Nonon have a harder time not cumming from the level of pleasure.

"Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! S-Slow down!" Nonon begged as she felt her mind slip more and more into a world pleasure. It didn't help that she already felt so good.

"Nonsense, we want more and we shall have more~!" Ragyo said, thrusting even faster to the point where smacks were occurring each time they connected. "Your little cunt is just begging to be drowned in our seed."

"Ah! AHH! Fuck~!" Nonon exclaimed as she came harder than before. She idly noted how Ragyo's member seemed to be throbbing rapidly in her daze.

"Time to fill you up." Ragyo stated before she moaned as she hilted herself inside of Nonon's small and tight pussy, filling her with her seed.

"AHHHH!" Nonon exclaimed, feeling Ragyo's final thrust, filling her and making her moan as pleasure coursed through her immensely. She was wide eyed and squirmed from the sensation while biting her lip.

"And now, you shall become one of us~" Ragyo purred as some of the Symbiote flowed from where they were connected.

It stuck to her skin like a layer. Nonon shivered as she felt the muscles, or lack thereof, on her legs grow more pronounced and the nails on her feet sharper. The same happened with her arms and hands. Her chest, however, took a more dramatic turn. Just like Nui and Rei, her small chest expanded, filling out just as they did.

Then, the black substance reached her face and began feeling its cold contents fill her mouth before it covered her eyes. All she saw now was complete darkness.

"Hey there, Nonon Jakuzure!" A familiar jovial voice, her voice, rang out around her. 'I'll bet you're wondering who I am. Well to be blunt, I'm a symbiote, the same as the others.'

"The hell!? Is that why Satsuki was like that!?" Nonon shouted, surprised and outright shocked at what...her voice said.

'Of course, and now it's your turn.'

'Wha-! Ahh! Oh god~!' Nonon let out, a searing headache coursing through her, making her very lightheaded, 'Stop! Ahhh!'

Ragyo smirked as she placed a ball of Life Fibers on Nonon's black covered body before it seeped in. Nonon's body shook as her body took in the foreign threads. The symbiote then grabbed and weaved the Life Fibers into her body. Many places, the Life Fibers tried rejecting and outright destroying Nonon's body. The Symbiote, however, regenerated it's host and forced the Life Fibers to bond with the pink haired girl's body. The last step, the Life Fibers worked their way into her heart and made it stronger and much faster, making her a Life Fiber/Hybrid, like her crush.

Then, the Symbiote receded, showing skin as black as the Symbiote. Her eyes opened, showing her usual pink eyes before groaning as they rolled up, showing only the white of her eyes, just like the others.

Nonon then coughed a bit of blood as Ragyo plunged her hand into her chest before pulling out a still beating, glowing heart. Unlike Nui's, Nonon's was a darker shade of pink.

"Perfect, like always." Ragyo commented before she let go of the heart, making it immediately pull back into Nonon's chest. Then, the hole on her chest immediately stitched itself back, as if it never happened.

Nonon sucked in a breath before she heard moans. Seems the others were close to their climax as well.

"I'm almost there." groaned Rei.

"We're cumming!" Satsuki suddenly mentioned before she, Nui, and Rei came on Nonon, covering her in their seed.

"I...We are now yours, Ragyo-sama~" Nonon said while idly picking up the cum on her chest and licking it up.

"That's just what I love to hear." Ragyo chuckled before she stood, allowing Nonon to do the same, "Now, is there perhaps someone you would like to turn before Satsuki and us comfort Ryuko Matoi?" She asked, smirking at the memory of Nui and Rei combining before.

"No." Nonon replied before she moaned as dick sprouted out of where her clit was, throbbing in attention.

"Then we know who's next." Ragyo said, idly rubbing Nonon's new member, "We must go after Ryuko Matoi. Satsuki, Nui, once Nonon is done, we would like to try something."

"Yes mother." Satsuki and Nui responded.

"Ohh~ Ragyo-sama~" Nonon let out as she continued to feel Ragyo's clawed hand rub her newly formed dick.

"Now now, you'll feel more pleasure after we teach this naughty girl a lesson."

"Yes, Ragyo-sama~" Nonon moaned before Ragyo let her dick go.

"Now, our daughters, come next to us," Ragyo said, her dick throbbing in full display.

Nui and Satsuki moved over closer.

Ragyo smirked before she grabbed them by their shoulders and brought them even closer. Together, they all moaned as their black covered bodies seemed to meld into each other's bodies.

Their different sized feet and legs combined into a single set of legs looking much stronger than before. Their own individual dicks did the same, making it bigger and longer than before. It throbbed so hard to the point where they could hear it do so. Their arms however didn't combine, but still connected to their combined torso. Ragyo's pair of arms at the top, Nui's in the middle, and Satsuki's at the bottom. Not to mention, their breasts combined as well, all perk and no sag. As for their heads, due to their combined torso, their collarbone had stretched to fit.

As for the Kamui, Junketsu, formed accordingly, fitting their new form while still showing off their combined assets.

"We feel AMAZING!" They said in unison, feeling how much power they now possessed.

Nonon and Rei shivered at the tone they gave, feeling like they were in the presence of that of a Goddess. It didn't help that the Life Fibers that were inside them made them want to instinctively submit to their will.

"Now we can teach Ryuko Matoi a lesson, mother," Satsuki said, turning her head to look at Ragyo as said mother's head was placed in the middle of their combined body.

"Oh absolutely~" Ragyo said while reveling in the power she now had.

"You ready to go, Ragyo-sama?" Nui asked.

"Yes, dear. Let us be off. Nonon, Rei, make sure that those who look upon our glorious form draw their last breath~" Ragyo said as she made Nui's hands cover her blackened nipples, almost like a bra while she willed Satsuki's hands stroked their combined dick.

"Yes Ragyo-sama." Nonon and Rei said before walking ahead of the combined family with their claws out, ready to rip someone's throat from their necks.

Ragyo shook her head in amusement before the three began walking, intending on meeting this Ryuko person.

(Later)

"So, Ryuko, you gonna try and fight Satsuki again?" A Mako Mankanshoku asked her first and best friend, Ryuko!

"Well, yeah, I have to find out if Satsuki was really the one who killed dad," Ryuko replied, while wearing her black and red Kamui, Senketsu. If I don't, it'll bug me for the rest of my life."

"It's good that you have a goal for the future, Ryuko," Mako said, nodding her head, "But, what do you think they'll be having for lunch today?"

"No clue. Knowing Satsuki, she'll probably check the menu when we least expect it," Ryuko said with a shrug.

"Ryuko, while you may protest, you really should, as they say, cut back on the food with the most calories. It makes it that much harder to take in your blood," Senketsu idly, unnoticed to Mako.

"Hey, if it tastes good of course I'll eat it." Ryuko whispered back.

Senketsu immediately sighed at that, "Well, if you're going to do that, then you should prepare to wear me correctly," He said, "As I've before, you must wear me to truly wear me."

"I know that."

"You clearly do not. Tell me, what do you feel when you transform. What are your thoughts when people see you when you, as some say, 'power up'?" Senketsu replied, referring to Ryuko's embarrassment when transforming.

Ryuko huffed and turned her head. "It's humiliating."

"Exactly, that's how you feel. And that is hindering me from giving you more power," Senketsu said, "Just ask your friend on how to not feel shame when showing off your body, as I've heard."

Mako was humming to herself and skipped alongside her friend without a care in the world.

Ryuko fought off a blush at the mention of when she transforms before looking at her friend, "Hey, Mako," She started off.

"What is it, Ryuko-chan~?" Mako said, drawing out the name with a childish glee.

"Do you ever feel a little...embarrassed if someone sees your underwear?" Ryuko asked.

"Hmm...nope! Why? Do you?" Mako asked, her childlike curiosity showing, as usual.

"Uh...maybe, I mean come on, it's your underwear. How could you not be?"

Ryuko said, lightly blushing at Mako's...sense of casualness.

"Maybe, but after being with my dad and my brother, I've learned to show off what I have. Besides, you've got much more of a bust than I do!" Mako said with a small, remembering the times when she would see her friend in the shower by coincidence. Her family, except maybe her mom, were perverts and she was a proud underachiever! "You should try wearing something to really show off the goods."

Ryuko scratched her head at that, "I guess...but, I already have Senketsu and he's revealing enough as it is," She said.

"Why don't you try going like that again? If you feel embarrassed, don't be, okay?" Mako said with a smile. "Once you don't feel shy, it's no different than walking around naked in the bathroom."

3Ryuko slowly nodded at that before looking at the eye of her uniform, "You ready, Senketsu?" She whispered as she grabbed the pin on her wrist, ready to transform.

"Ready."

The moment Ryuko pulled the pin, the thin needle went in and took in the blood, rushing into Senketsu before they transformed. Senketsu took on a form that looked like a cross between a battle outfit and a stripper's attire. The thong on the outfit left little to the imagination and her breasts were barely covered by the flaps of said. All in all, she looked like a very suggestive exhibitionist, "Life Fiber Synchronize, Kamui Senketsu!" Ryuko said. After a moment, she quickly covered her crotch and her breasts with her gloved hands, a blush present on her cheeks.

"Ooooh." Mako awed, seeing Ryuko look cool and stuff! "Now that you're like this, you can try and act normal!" She said, noticing the fact that Ryuko looked heavily embarrassed.

"Easier said than done." Ryuko replied as she hesitantly removed her hands away from her covered privates.

Mako hummed comically before a figurative lightbulb flashed above her head, "Maybe you try talking to me while we head to school. To, uh, be nonchalant, I think?" She said, putting a finger to her cheek.

"Well...oh what the hell, might as well." Ryuko shook her head, smiling at Mako's silliness.

"Great! What would you like to talk about?" Mako said, making Ryuko slump comically. Let it be known that Mako was the greatest at few ideas, but bad at following up.

"Uh..." Ryuko uttered, realizing the fact that they hadn't thought this through.

"Oh! I got one! Is there anyone you're interested in?" Mako asked as they continued to walk. "A boy? A girl? Both? Or what about an animal? I think Guts is available."

Ryuko blinked before looking at Mako, "Um, I haven't tried figuring that out, but...I guess a girl?" She said with a mild shrug while hiding a blush.

"So you're a carpet muncher?" Mako suddenly asked, much to her friend's confusion.

"A wha...?" Ryuko asked, not hearing that term before.

"You know, lesbian." Mako said, making Ryuko fail to keep her composure.

"I-I guess! Um...?" Ryuko said, her blush now prominent as she scratched her head, trying and failing to play it off. "I guess?"

"Hm, hm, then who do you like better? Me or Satsuki?" Mako asked, bringing a blush to Ryuko's face, making it harder to bring blood to Senketsu.

"W-What?! Why would I like someone as stuck up as her!?" Ryuko shouted, appalled at what her best friend implied.

"Then me then?" Mako said, putting a hand to her chest and leaned forward, having a cute, but suggestive pose to her.

Ryuko turned more bright hearing that and being put on the spot. "U-Um, well, you're, uh, uhm," She stammered, "M-Ma-Maybe...?" She said, mumbled quietly.

"Awww, that's so sweet." Mako said, smiling.

"Uh, yeah...I guess," Ryuko said with a nod, feeling her embarrassment die somewhat.

But before the two could go on, they saw the students of the school quickly line up in a familiar set up.

"Oh great." Ryuko said as she walked, with Mako behind her.

"Is it Satsuki?" Mako asked, holding shoulders, just in case.

"Who else would get this many people standing in line?" she asked followed by them nearly being blinded by a familiar light from above.

Steps. Steps that were graceful and loud. The sound of heels connecting with a set of stairs made something in Ryuko shiver. She didn't know why.

"Hello there...Ryuko Matoi~" A set of voices spoke at the same time, "Come, step into our parlor~" The voices said, with the voice sounding somewhat like Satsuki.

"What do you want now?" asked Ryuko in annoyance.

"Come up, you shall know the truth once you do," Two voices this time said.

Ryuko's eyes widened before walking up the stairs to what she assumed was a circular stage. Mako followed along, wanting to see what she thought was Ryuko's fight.

'I've got a bad feeling about this.' Ryuko thought as she stepped onto the stage with Mako in tow. Unfortunately, all they could barely see was a silhouette, given the blinding light.

"Now that the stage is set, none shall interfere~!" The voices that came from the silhouette before it leaned back with it in a wide crouching position and exclaimed in...moans? It moaned before what looked like a rod shot out a white substance and covered the circular area around the two friends.

"The hell!?" Ryuko shouted, not expecting whatever the person in front of her did. "What's going on here?"

"Heheheh~ Now you shall have the privilege of gazing upon our godly form~" The voices said in unison before the blinding died down to see...a naked triple headed black creature with a really big dick!?

"What the fuck!?" Ryuko said, blushing and weirded out at the sight before noticing something peculiar. The head to her left looked like...? "Wait, is that Satsuki!?" She asked, seeing her facial structure was that of her enemy. The things that looked different about her were were that her skin looked like it was welded with a black balloon on her skin and her eyes were blank, completely white!

'It can't be!' She thought.

"Whoa! They look like that one thing from those movies with the three headed dragon thing, but with more arms," Mako said in innocent awe.

"That is correct, Ryuko. We, my mother, and our sister have become one~" Satsuki's head said while the third pair of arms stroked their blackened dick. "And soon you shall as well~"

"Like hell I will! And on that note, who was it that killed my dad!?" Ryuko demanded, not noticing two other black-skinned naked girls slowly sneak up on Mako.

"Oh! It was us, Nui Harime!" The head to Ryuko's right said excitedly as the second set if arms pulled out a pink, sword sized scissor blade.

Ryuko saw red and gritted her teeth hearing it. "You BITCH!"

She shouted, grabbing her red scissor blade, intending on severing the girl's head off.

"Calm yourself~" The head in middle spoke before Ryuko grunted as she felt herself seize and locked in place, taking calming breathing, with confused her.

"Wha...?" The Matoi let out before hearing a ripping sound. She turned her head before seeing Mako naked, with her clothes in pieces on the floor. "Mako!"

"Wha! My clothes!" Mako shouted before flailing her arms, "It'll take dad awhile to get a spare for me," She said, not minding the fact that she was naked.

"Well well, a girl with a rare trait of having a lack of fluster upon being in the buff. You certainly know how to pick them, our dear daughter," Ragyo said the top arm closest to Satsuki rubbed her head.

"What the hell are you talking about?!" Ryuko demanded again.

"It means that once you join us, that Mako girl will be that of a servant, like Rei and Nonon, serving our needs~" The dark-skinned Ragyo said before all their arms before stroking their dick, moaning.

As for Nonon and Rei they were smirking as their own dicks throbbed.

"Fuck that!" Ryuko said as she attempted to 'calmly' attack Rei.

"You shall bare no hostile intent!" Ragyo, Satsuki, and Nui said, making the young girl stumble and drop her weapon.

"How the hell...?" Ryuko said as she struggled to at least attempt to beat the shit out of them. "Why can't I move?"

"Hmm...curious~" Ragyo said as they walked, their heels clinking as they approached Ryuko, "You are special in a way we cannot comprehend~" She said, their dick still being stroked.

"G-Get away!" Ryuko shouted, desperately trying to move away from the black creature. However, that moment was for naught as the three suddenly bucked their hips and came on Ryuko and her Kamui.

"R-Ryuko! Something's wro..." Senketsu said before stopping, making Ryuko worry.

"Senketsu? Senketsu!" Ryuko yelled, suddenly aware that there was something wrong with her Kamui. Then, before she knew she stood up...without moving her own muscles? "Senketsu?" She tried again.

"Ryuko is all yours, Ragyo-sama~" Senketsu's lone eye widened considerably, looking bloodshot and disturbing.

"Excellent. Come to mother."

Immediately, Ryuko, with a lot of failed effort on her part, continued to struggle as her legs were forced to walk until she stood in front of the amalgamation of three.

"Very good. Now, hold very still," Ragyo said before their entire torso leaned forward, showing her still piercing nipples despite them now colored black. Then, she took a whiff of air while directly in front of Ryuko's head. "Mmmm, yes, I can smell the life fibers inside you~"

"L-Life Fibers!? Aren't those what Senketsu is made of?!" Ryuko said, suddenly dreading what this woman was implying.

"That is correct. Now, we shall see if you truly are who we think you are~" Ragyo mentioned before plunged the top right hand into Ryuko's chest, piercing it.

Ryuko gasped at the pain that followed as she coughed up blood. The pain only increased as she felt the woman move her hand, searching past her lungs before she coughed even more as Ragyo grabbed her heart, before yanking it out of her chest. Then, she was stunned into silence when, instead of a normal red organ that would probably leak blood everywhere, a glowing red heart came out. It seemed to be meshed with what looked like glowing red threads along it as well.

"See?" Ragyo said, relishing in the look Ryuko gave, "Isn't it magnificent? This does prove one thing, you are our daughter!" She concluded, making Nui and Satsuki perk up.

The look on Ryuko's face was that of horror and fear as she realized she wasn't entirely human, "I...I'm a monster!" She said, tears flowing from her eyes in despair.

"Oh no no no, you are proof that what we strived for early in life was possible." Ragyo said as she gently let go, letting the heart fly back into her chest before the wound stitched itself back together, as if the wound was never there.

Ryuko coughed at the feeling of her heart literally lunging into where her heart originally was before sniffling, "W-What do you mean?" She asked.

"Oh you'll find out, after our fun~" Ragyo said as she gently rubbed the Kamui around her newly rediscovered daughter, making Senketsu moan before it changed and moved it's threads, just like she did with Satsuki and Junketsu. The breasts, which she had to admit were bigger than Satsuki's before she assimilated her, were now on full display and her pussy was completely shown, not cloth covered both privates.

Ryuko's eyes went wide and opened her mouth in shock, only to find her face grabbed and brought closer to the heads.

"Now we shall welcome your missing sister back into our family~" Ragyo spoke before she kissed Ryuko's forehead while the other two heads leaned over and kissed her cheeks sensually.

Ryuko shuddered and hummed as she felt the affection from her apparent family. It didn't help that they thrusted in between her thighs, with her pussy being caressed with each move.

The dick was throbbing hard and warm, making this all the more embarrassing. Ragyo and the others pulled their heads back before moaning as they now actively thrusted between Ryuko's thighs, making sure not to go inside just yet.

"Your little spot is getting nice and soaked~" Nui said as she hummed.

"It is worthy of much praise, as expected of our sister~" Satsuki said as she groaned.

"And soon you will know what it truly means to be a woman." Ragyo finished before she kissed Ryuko on the lips.

"Mmph!" Ryuko let out in surprise as began humming from the friction of their thrusting against her pussy.

'I need to get free!' She thought as she, once again, tried moving. It had no effect as Senketsu seemed to be under the control of these three.

Then, Ragyo began slipping her tongue further into Ryuko's, making her slightly gag.

'Shit! I wish I could bite that thing right now!' Ryuko yelled in her mind.

Satsuki and Nui groaned as their dick throbbed rapidly, getting ready to cum between their sister's legs and onto Rei, Nonon, and Mako, who were watching.

"Woah! That looks bigger than my brother's!" Mako said in awe, seeing the cock coming in and out of Ryuko's lower cheeks.

Nonon and Rei smirked at that, having experienced it upon their naked and dark-skinned forms.

"Is it gonna fit?" Mako asked, a cute blush on her face with a curious look adorning it.

"With your friend, Ryuko, it shall because of her Life Fiber Hybrid physiology. She'll essentially heal faster than a normal human," Rei responded, not looking away from the sight.

"Which means her hymen is probably gonna grow back again and again and again." Nonon added with a smirk.

"WE'RE CUMMING!" Ragyo and her daughters sharing their body exclaimed as the dick between Ryuko's thighs came and shot their seed directly onto the three girls watching. Both closed their eyes, minus Mako.

"Ohhh~" The three let out, feeling sudden pleasure as they came with Rei and Nonon letting out cum onto the floor while Mako involuntarily came, her own pussy clenching.

"Wow, what a rush!" Mako said as she let the climax end. "Way better than using my fingers."

Ryuko squirmed as she was close to her own climax as well.

"Now...we shall have a taste~ Lean and arch your back~" Ragyo said before Ryuko did just that with her arms holding onto the ground, seeing her friend while upside-down.

"M-Mako! Help!" Ryuko called out.

"Okay!" Mako said only to have her arms grabbed, "Um, never mind. I can't help," She said sheepishly.

Ragyo chuckled at that before they leaned and began to simultaneously lick at the young girl's snatch.

"AHHH!" Ryuko yelped as she felt three tongues lick at her private area.

"Mmm~ Our sister tastes rather divine, mother~" Satsuki said before diving back in.

"It should come as no surprise given Ryuko's heritage~" Ragyo replied before she extended her tongue and drove it into her daughter's hole, grazing her hymen without breaking it.

"AHHHHH!" Ryuko exclaimed as she came, the unfamiliar sensation hitting her with much pleasure. Her pussy clenched around Ragyo's tongue while her legs twitched. The only reason they were still holding her weight was due to Senketsu holding her in that position.

"Mmmm~" Ragyo hummed before she pulled her tongue out, having tasted her daughter's nectar, "Now, Ryuko. Straddle us and impale your sacred spot upon our divine rod~" She said as they leaned away before laying down on their back with their shaft in full view, black as rubber and throbbing in anticipation.

Ryuko panted, but felt her body move before she had a chance to regain her bearings. "N-No...Senketsu, stop...!" She sat as she tried to hold herself back. Her attempts were in vain as she got up before she began squatting down until the tip was touching her lower lips. Then she stopped. She was about to sigh in relief before she suddenly dropped down, spearing the length into her pussy, taking it all inside and tearing through her hymen in an instant, causing her to scream. "AHHHHHH!"

"Ohhh~ She is as tight as we imagined~!" Ragyo let out their combined dick throbbed inside Ryuko's pussy. "More tight than Satsuki!"

"A...Ah," Ryuko let out as pain flooded her senses, feeling her lower lips leak blood onto the combined creature of her apparent family.

"Oh, did we break her already?" Nui asked, seeing her half-sister's expression. "That's no fun."

"It would seem the plethora of sensations made our sister lose herself," Satsuki commented, "We must force her mind to react once again."

"Excellent point. Ryuko, start moving up and down~" Ragyo commanded.

Ryuko groaned when she felt her body move without her say so up, and then back down making her cry out.

"Oh! She isn't broken! Great!" Nui responded with a grin upon her face while humming.

"Indeed! She wouldn't be our daughter had she not been resilient~" Ragyo said as they thrusted up in time with Ryuko's movements. "Now revel in pleasure~"

"Ah! Ahh! Ahh~" Ryuko let out, her body taking in the pleasure, just like Ragyo commanded. The pain was gone in an instant because of reveling in the pleasure she felt.

"How does your first dick feel?" The mother asked with a grin, "Answer truthfully, dear."

"Ahh~! It's so big! I feel so full and good~" Ryuko said, blushing at the fact that her mother had asked that. She still had a few confidence issues it seemed.

"Good, because we are going to make you plead for it every single day for the rest of your life." Satsuki said with a look of satisfaction on her face.

"Wow, they're really giving to her, huh?" Mako mentioned from where she stood.

"Of course, they wanted to hold nothing back." Nonon said, smirking, "And don't forget, you better serving all of us like the human you are~"

"I am?"

"Of course. Should you wish to live and be by Ryuko's side, you will serve us in whatever we wish for you," Rei mentioned as she idly rubbed her dick at the sight of Ragyo giving it to her daughter.

"Plus~ it's not like you got a choice in the matter anyway~" Nonon added as hummed, rubbing it to get her off.

"Hmmmm, ok." Mako said, nodding. She didn't really care because she liked being around Ryuko. Serving them seemed fine in her mind.

"Oh god! Fuck! Ahh~!" Ryuko moaned, feeling the cock messing up her insides so much.

"That's right~ Beg for it, our daughter~!" Ragyo said before she thrusted harder, making loud and pleasurable smacks.

"It's so big~!" Ryuko let out, her mind breaking the more her mother commanded her. If she doesn't get out soon, she'll be Ragyo's before she has the chance to be like them, "More~ Ugh~! Give me more~"

"That's it~ Now, go faster~" Ragyo demanded while their six arms rubbed their own enlarged and combined perky breasts.

Ryuko's body moved faster, going wide eyed when she felt the dick quiver and what felt like bumps growing from it. "Oh god~! I'm gonna cum~ I'm gonna cum~!" She shouted. Her pussy clenched and twitched wildly, getting incredibly close to her climax.

"Then cum~" Ragyo, Satsuki, and Nui said in unison before they thrusted the hardest thrust their combined strength could give them, hilting themselves into Ryuko's pussy, leaving nothing to escape as they came inside, filling the once thought Matoi with their essence, their seed, "Ohhh~!"

"Fuck~ AHHH~!" Ryuko exclaimed as her pussy tightly, feeling her family's combined spunk go inside and paint her insides, hitting her womb immediately. Her eyes almost rolled up from the pleasure overloaded her inexperienced senses.

"Take every drop~!" They said together, resulting in Ryuko's thin belly to very slightly expand before a black substance trailed up from where their hips connected, "Now~ submit and accept to our will~"

"Whoa~ What's that stuff?" Mako asked, seeing that black slimy climbing her friend's body.

"Oh nothing you have to worry about." Nonon said with a shrug as she and Rei groaned, feeling somewhat close.

Ryuko shivered and groaned as she felt whatever was that cold feeling merge bit by bit into Senketsu before gasping as the heels changed, slimming out, showing the outline of her foot. It was black with the toenails extended and sharpened, looking as sharp as blades themselves.

Her already moderately big breasts tingled and swelled, making her bigger than she thought they'd ever get while her nails received the same treatment upon being sharpened.

She heard Senketsu actually moan when she noticed the black stuff dye and change the Kamui uniform. The girl than moaned herself as she opened her mouth up, having the order her mother gave her, and let the black symbiotic entity flood her mouth and her eyes before was blinded, unable to see anything.

"Ryuko 'Matoi' Kiryuin. Welcome home~" A voice, her voice it seemed, spoke with the normal amount of snark Ryuko usually possessed.

'W...W...What?' Ryuko herself.

"Oh, don't be so shocked. We are what's around you right now. At this moment we are bonding and assimilating with you. Fun, huh?" The voice said. 'You're going to be a brand new you.'

'Around me? You mean that black stuff that was crawling on me! Stop it!' Ryuko said as she attempted to grab where she thought the symbiote.

'It's stupid to try and refuse. You don't have a choice in the matter,' The symbiote said, 'You don't want to join your long-lost mother?' It said with a calculated soft tone.

'She's the one who started all this!' Ryuko shouted.

"...Hmph, we guess you leave us no choice then. If you won't willingly submit, we'll force you to accept us!" It spoke before the girl began feeling a splitting headache on her person.

'Ahhh!'

'Don't worry, your new self will be all the more relaxed and willing~' The voice said, fading out

Outside the void like view, they all watched as Ryuko began spasming, her arms and legs moving in places not humanly possible. Each movement such as that caused bone crunching noises to be let out. It didn't help that her family saw her neck literally break before righting itself, having her natural regeneration to thank. A groan was heard as her eyes rolled up her head, showing only blank white eyes, just like they all were, except Mako.

Ryuko's newly dark skinned twitched before smiling and looked at her family, "Hey, Mom. We're now yours~" She moaned seductively, her pussy still clamped on her combined family's dick.

"That's just what we wanted to hear." Nui said before they all thrusted to their full strength once again, but this time they turned Ryuko around, facing the other three watching and seeing her new form.

"Woah!" Mako said, admiring the fact that Ryuko's beasts had grown further than they were before, "She looks so sexy!"

"Oh~ Ah! Yes! Ohh~ Fuck us more~" Ryuko moaned as her tits bounced upon each thrust.

"Then beg." Satsuki said as they didn't speed up, despite already going blinding speed in her sister.

"Please, fuck us more~ Break us~ Give us more~!" Ryuko let out.

"Oh we will~" Ragyo said before they unleashed all their strength into their thrusts, enough to break solid concrete and metal. Each moment their hips connected, deafening sounds happened, making Ryuko orgasm every time.

Rei and Nonon saw the sight as an opportunity and dragged Mako by the arm before Ryuko, "Just sit here and look pretty, we're about to have fun with your new master here," The former pink haired girl said before she and Rei licked at Ryuko's pussy as she was fucked, making sure to aim for the clit to begin her next transformation.

"AHHHHHHHH~!" Ryuko exclaimed as her clit extended between the two girl's lips. It throbbed before the symbiote covered it, making it much bigger. Immediately, it shot her seed onto Mako's body covering petite breasts. Mako then groaned as something leaked from her lower lips.

"Ah! Oh gosh! Did I just climax?!" Mako said, looking down at her private area.

"That is correct, given that Life Fibers are a superior race, we can control them to a certain degree~" Ragyo mentioned while their combined body didn't stop thrusting.

"Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!"

"Now, take our seed and join your family as one~!" Ragyo said before they moaned as they hilted in Ryuko's dark pussy and pumped her full of cum.

"WE'RE CUMMING~" Ryuko yelled as her lower lips clenched once again and had her dick throb before unloaded onto the open mouths of Nonon and Rei. They and Mako came once again as a result.

Immediately, while Ryuko was dazed, her body began to meld and combine with her family's body. Like the others, everything except her arms and head merged with the already existing parts of the body. Their dick became bigger and more defined, their breasts went up in size. Ryuko's arms were also under Satsuki's. As for her head, Ryuko's head ended up between Satsuki's and Ragyo's.

"Now you're truly one with the family." Ragyo said with a smile on her face.

"It's great to have you here, Ryuko!" Nui said.

Satsuki nodded, "Yes. It is wonderful to have you join us, dear sister~" She said as she leaned her head and kissed her sister's cheek.

Ryuko paused a moment before grinning. "Well what can we say? It feels pretty good."

"Indeed it does. Now, shall we perhaps test our divine essence?" Ragyo suggested as their dick throbbed, ready for more.

"Yes." The other three combined with her said before looking to Nonon and Rei.

They nodded instinctively before hugging each other. Just like what happened to Nui and Rei before, Rei and Nonon's symbiote covered bodies melded and combined. Soon enough, they shared one body, with their arms and heads not combined like everything about them. Their dick throbbed rapidly, showing her excitement.

Mako in the meanwhile kept on watching and wished she had a camera right now.

"Now let us go home~" The Kiryuin family said together as they turned the combined duo around before thrusting their dick into the duo's pussy and wrapped their many arms around them, suspending them in midair. As they walked, Ryuko's arms lifted Mako as they headed home, intending on commencing Ragyo's plan early.

(Timeskip)

"We're cumming~!" The Kiryuin family exclaimed, cumming onto Mako's body.

After the symbiotic goddess entity arrived at the Original Life Fiber, the combined being now known as Kiryuin, commanded the Fiber to initiate the plan ahead of schedule. Due to Senketsu and Junketsu fusing, they were able to effortlessly absorb some of the Life Fibers into themselves, making them more Alien than human. And, with the clothes heavily spread throughout the world due to the REVOCS company, they were able to have their Life Force be eaten with the exception of Mako.

She had been a servant to them ever since. "Ohh~" The naked servant let out as her body shook. This was her reward. After so much of Kiryuin's seed being blasted onto her, she developed a minor addiction to it.

"Excellent work on ridding our world of those Nudist Beach vagrants~ Keep doing this and perhaps you'll be brought to a higher standing with more benefits~" The being, Kiryuin said, with their faces all matching in expression. "If not, well...you'll be punished of course."

"Yes, Lady Kiryuin-sama~" Mako bowed before walking away, aiming to impress her Goddess.

"Hmhm~ now that that is settled, we should check on Rei and Nonon to see how far along they are~" Kiryuin said as they got up onto their clawed feet and walked behind their throne on the Original Life Fiber. Their dick continued to throb rapidly, ready to blast anything with her divine essence.

"Oh girls~"

"Yes, Kiryuin-sama?" Nonon and Rei said together as they laid in their 'room'. The bed they were on was entirely made from the Original Life Fiber they were on. They were both still combined ever since. After the Kiryuin family's minds became one, Nonon and Rei were put to mate with Kiryuin every single day.

"How are you two feeling?" The four heads of Kiryuin asked, stepping in.

"A bit uncomfortable," Nonon, "But nothing we cannot handle, Kiryuin-sama," Was Rei's response before her hand rubbed her belly.

"Excellent. You'll be ready in no time~" Kiryuin mentioned as she came up to Nonon and Rei before rubbing her slightly swelling stomach with two of her eight hands, "With an heir on the way, we can increase the power and longevity of our lifespan, making us have more time in this world." She said before she leaned forward and had her four heads kiss Nonon and Rei's cheeks.

They smiled before capturing their lips and turned it into a heated make out.

Satsuki and Ryuko's head figuratively attacked Nonon's lips while Ragyo and Nui's did the same for Rei. Soon enough, they pulled away from each other, "Now, let us see if we can't speed the process along~" Kiryuin said as she mentally commanded the Original Life Fiber to bless her. It responded immediately by shooting a tendril into her pussy, causing Kiryuin to moan before her dick throbbed rapidly and developed glowing veins along the shaft, empowered, "With this, we shall accelerate our child's growth. Are you ready?" She offered while two pairs of hands groped her impressively large sized breasts.

"Absolutely~" Nonon answered.

"We would be honored, Kiryuin-sama," Rei concluded.

Kiryuin's faces grinned, "Very well. Prepare yourselves~" she declared before thrusting her enlarged dick into her mates.

"Ahhhhhh!" Nonon and Rei let out as they felt their pussy become stuffed.

"Mmm~ Truly a magnificent experience!" Kiryuin said before immediately thrusting in and out of her mates. It wouldn't do to hold back, now would it?

"No." Rei said, "Ohh~ this makes it- Ahh~! More interesting~"

"We are glad you think so~" Kiryuin replied before grabbing Nonon and Rei's legs and began to spear their cock into them with more power in each thrust.

"Now, take it ALL~!" Kiryuin exclaimed before she thrusted her hardest, sending the Original Life Fiber infused cum into her mates. Rainbow colored, it filled them and inflated their stomach, accelerating the process of development for their baby with the blood of six.

Once the divine being stopped her climax, Kiryuin groaned as the tendril in her pussy left, stopping the glow to her dick. The process was done and had skipped months of waiting for their heir to arrive. That's when they started to let out a small chuckle which began to slowly escalate into full blown laughter.

"It is done! Our heir, our child, shall soon be birthed! Now none shall stand in our way~!" Kiryuin shouted hysterically.


	24. Chapter 24

List of oneshots part 4

chapter 24

A boy ends up the first crush to a mob boss' daughter.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

We find ourselves at a large mansion with high walls and a garden in the back with a pool with a few men in suits walking around with gun holsters as the camera moved towards a window on the second floor.

Inside was an older girl with brown hair in a bowl haircut brushing it with a pink ribbon tied as part of a headband with a cold expression and pink pair of pajamas who put the brush down and stood up before grabbing a bell and gave it a ring.

"Yes ma'am?" answered a maid opening the door slightly.

"Breakfast, now."

"Right away, anything in particular?"

"Make sure it's filling, or else." she replied, glancing at the maid with a cold look.

"Yes ma'am." nodded the maid quickly before leaving and headed down the hall with a shiver. 'I never get used to that, the young miss is scary.'

"Hopefully it's something I actually like, otherwise we'll need a new maid." the girl remarked casually to herself. 'Ugh, it better not be boring, everything here is so boring and safe.'

She went and changed herself into a pink t-shirt with a matching skirt, black kneesocks and brown shoes before making herself downstairs. Down there was a small table with a luxurious egg dish waiting for her.

"I-I hope you like this ma-"

"Plain, boring, looks weird, I don't like it." She replied bluntly, making the maid pale and start to shake.

"I-I can ask the cook to make something different! I-I just deliver the food!"

"Get rid of her, she's annoying me." She ordered while sitting down as two suited men on the sides of the room walked over to the maid who tried to back up.

"No please! I can do better! Please!"

"Come with us."

"No, no, noooooo!"

'Drama queen, she's just being fired.' thought the girl as the maid was dragged off as another maid came walking out and bowed her head.

"I'm sorry ma'am, I'll get you something more appetizing."

"Just get me toast, I have to get to school soon."

"Yes ma'am." She bowed before walking into the kitchen while the girl picked up the glass of juice and gave it a sip.

(Later)

"I'm leaving, I want to walk to school today." She told the maids at the door who bowed their heads before the girl made her way out and down the steps to the gate where one of the armed man disarmed the gate and opened it for her.

"Have a good day ma'am."

"Don't tell me what to do."

"Apologies." Spoke the man as she walked down the street with the man rolling his eyes. 'Spoiled brat.'

The girl walked down the street, glad there was no one else on the street at the moment as she made her way to school. 'Today will probably be as boring as all the others. Why do I even bother going?' She thought, tuning out the world around her as she began to go around the corner. She bit into her toast, and suddenly found herself jolting backwards as she fell on her ass on the ground. "Ow! Who dares?!" She started as she rubbed her rear and looked up only to freeze.

"Oh my gosh! I'm so so so sorry! I didn't see you there!" Rapidly apologized the figure next to her, who appeared to be a blonde guy around her age. He wore a long blue open vest with a brown shirt and ripped jeans. "Are you alright?"

"I...I….I… yes?" She spoke, stuttering and feeling her face heating up. 'Why do I feel like this, I've never felt like this before!'

"Do you need some help?"

"N-NO! I AM FINE, VERY FINE!" she yelled quickly getting on her feet.

"Oh, well that's good. I was worried you got hurt." He said as he stood up. "Sorry about that, I didn't see you at first."

"IT IS FINE!" She said, her face heating up.

"Well in that case, I better get to school or I'm gonna end up late, bye!" he waved before he took off jogging.

"B-Bye…" She said, awkwardly waving until he left before feeling her legs go numb. "What… what was that?" She held her hand to her heart and felt it beating quick. "Why is my heart beating so fast? I was barely moving that fast."

She looked at the direction the boy had left and shook her head. "No, this… this must be some kind of flu, it has to be, right?" She turned away and started walking. "I'll just ignore it and take medicine….maybe I'll just skip school and go back home to get some."

(Later)

"GAH! Why do I still feel this way?!" She growled while on her bed, haven taken several types of cold medicine and not feeling any different. "Is this poison?! Why, why do I feel like this still?!"

"Ma'am, do you need help with something?"

"No, no, I'm fine!" She called as a maid entered the room.

"Are you sure? You sound disturbed by something." She said carefully. "Are you sure you don't want to ask for some help?"

"Do I SOUND like I asked for your help?!" She snapped with a glare. "When I say I'm fine, it means I'm. Fine!"

"O-ok, if you say so ma'am! It's just...well… you're acting a bit like my younger sister and I was wondering-"

"Shut up! I am fine!" she snapped before flopping on her stomach and buried her face in her pillow. "This stupid cold just won't go away!"

"Ma'am, it's not a cold!" The maid blurted out before covering her mouth.

"...what was that?"

"It...it's not a cold ma'am… tell me, did you meet a new boy or girl before you suddenly got this 'cold' of yours?"

She looked at the maid with a cold look making her gulp. "And if I did?"

"W-Well, I don't think you're sick, in fact I-I'm pretty sure you have a crush?"

"A crush?"

"Yes, a crush, it means you are falling for someone romantically."

"I know what a crush is!" She snapped making the maid jump. "What I mean is that it's crazy! I've never once had a crush my entire life!"

"Well, then what's your reasoning for how you feel now?"

"A cold! Flu! My face is warm, my palms are sweaty, and my heart is beating like a drum." she listed off.

"You are heating up because you're thinking of your crush, you palms are sweaty because you're nervous, and your heart is beating because you're excited and confused."

"But….but I….I don't even know him! How can I have a crush on a complete stranger?"

"Because the heart wants what the heart wants, there's no rhyme or reason to it."

"But…."

"You could consider it, love at first sight." She said, making the girl freeze.

"I...I don't think I'm ready for this, I don't even know his name!"

"Then why not try and find out?" She asked, making her pause. "Think of this as a new mission, one where failure isn't an option?"

"Mission….hmmm….." she hummed while rubbing her chin. "Yes….Yes! I think I can work with that."

"Then will you be needing anything else?"

"Yes, I will need my laptop, my henchman, and tell my father I will need to divert several resources to my latest mission."

"Yes ma'am." she bowed before walking away. 'Thank god, I thought I would say something to really agitate her.'

'Alright, now that I have those… emotions… under control, I can focus on what I need, HIM.'

(Elsewhere)

"She WHAT?!" Shouted a rough looking man with graying hair in an expensive suit.

"I-I'm just telling you what she told me sir!"

"Well tell her no! Or until she tells me the details of this so called 'mission'."

"Well, the details are a bit….."

"You… you know what she's planning, don't you? Spill it. NOW."

"Ah! Ok ok ok! She might have her first crush on a boy and wants to track him down!"

"...What?" The man said, freezing. "My little girl has a crush… so she wants to divert a quarter of our power towards that?"

"Yes sir."

"...ok."

"I understand s- wait, what?" She looked at him confused and surprised. "You mean, you're not upset?"

"Nope, not at all, this is exactly what happened when I met her mother." He remarked leaning back in his chair. "She did everything in her power to hunt me down and demanded we go out as soon as she knocked on my door. It wasn't until we were married did I find out she had done a lot more work than I ever could just to look for me. Going off a single piece of hair."

"So… the young mistress can have the resources she wa-"

"Yes yes, she can have whatever she wants, now go."

"Yes sir." she bowed before leaving and shivered. 'I feel bad for that poor boy.'

(Later)

"So father approved? Interesting, this does make things much, much easier now." nodded the girl while on her laptop. "Let the men know I want them in here on the double, and if there are any stragglers, they'll be disposed of."

"I-I know ma'am, in fact I had them come here right before I arrived, they can see you now." She opened the door with numerous men in suits walking in, all of them with serious expressions.

"You called for us ma'am?"

"Yes, you have a new assignment, one of utmost importance, and failure is not an option!" she spoke sharply making them all tense up. "Failure of this will result in not just you disappearing, but all evidence of you existing will make it so you were never borned to begin with."

The men gulped as the girl nodded before flipping her laptop around to show what looked like an average high school.

"You will all be infiltrating this school, I don't care what position you take, but you must be in control by the time I transfer."

"So you want us to be teachers?" asked one man.

"...did I say JUST teachers?"

"Well, no."

"No, I said I don't care what position, which means it could be dealing with lunch, cleaning windows, the janitor, I don't care." She scowled. "If it's a way to get in the school and not look suspicious, then you better get it."

"Alright, what is our assignment once we are in? Are we assassinating someone? Kidnapping a politician's kid?"

"No, we are looking for a boy."

"A boy?"

"Yes, a boy, once you find him get all the info you can on him, BUT DO NOT HURT HIM OR I WILL PERSONALLY DISEMBOWEL YOU!" She yelled jumping up while pulling out a handgun and shaking it in their direction, making all of them quickly squat down and cover their heads. "Do. I. Make. Myself. Clear?"

"Yes Ma'am!" They said quickly.

"Good, now then, go get a job in that school, NOW! I will give you instructions when needed."

They all nodded and headed out of the room as quick as possible."

"Good, now then…. WHY CAN'T I FIND HIS NAME?!" she yelled while shaking the laptop. "I found out the best school he could have gone to, but no name!"

"Have you tried looking for a social media account?" Offered the maid, making the young girl freeze.

"Of course! He's sure to have one of those!" She quickly started typing as fast as her fingers could go. 'The school's bound to have a page for students to talk together with online.'

"And if that doesn't work there are other social media sites you can check using his id picture as reference."

"Yes, yes! Ok, that's it, you get a promotion!"

"I do?"

"Yes, I need someone who I know won't dare betray me but can do my research while I am at school, think of things I somehow missed and so on."

"Oh! That's….wonderful." She gave a smile while sweating inside. 'You mean I have to do extra work right next to this girl? That means I'm more likely to die if I mess up!'

"Good, now th- I FOUND HIM!" She shouted suddenly as her face lit up. She saw his smiling profile pic with numerous other students chatting and felt her heart beat thump like a drum. "I-It's definitely him!" She said as her face heated up. "R-Read his name to me, I can't see like this!"

'How can you not read while blushing?' She thought with a sigh as she carefully took the laptop and spun it around. "It says his name is Mikey Gai."

"M-Mikey Gai~" Swooned the girl. "It sounds heavenly~"

'Not to me. Who names their kid Mikey?' She thought as she rolled her eyes. 'Eh, it's not my problem.'

"Oh! I need to get the perfect outfit for my first day! I'll need it to be so stunning he won't be able to take his eyes off me!"

"Do you wish for me to pull up the school dress code mistress?"

"Hell to the dress code. With my men in charge, they'll make sure no one says a thing about it."

"Perhaps, but what if Mikey doesn't like bold women like you?" She asked as she looked at the picture, making the girl freeze. "I personally think you should play it safe on this one, get to know him, unlike a regular mission you won't lose money if you fail, you lose your man, the one you're crushing on for good, and there's no redo here."

"Gah! You're right!" She growled."I am Rukia Shihma, I will not let myself get carried away, I will succeed, I will leave no room for error, NONE!"

'Except the error of almost messing up right from the start.' She thought as she watched Rukia's monologue. 'I don't think she'll make it past the first day at this rate.'

(Timeskip)

"Are you ready mistress…. And do you really want me to come with you?"

"Yes, this is the first day of school, I can't leave anything to chance!"

"Why me?"

"Because you look young enough to be a student like me, and it's just for the first few days… or months… or years…" She trailed off.

The maid started crying internally while the two stood before the school in black school uniforms with plaid skirts. 'This is insane! I look like a porn star trying to pass as a high school girl in this!'

"Come on, if we're late then it'll paint a bad image of me." Rukia said as she raced into the building. 'Ok, if I'm right I should see Mikey at our first class, so I have until to get mentally prepar-oof!'

And cue her bumping into someone again.

"Hey, watch it!" She snapped, only to freeze in fear. 'No….nonononoononononononono.'

"Oh, sorry… wait, don't I know you from somewhere?" Asked the face of Mikey, looking down at Rukia who froze up and was pale as a ghost. "Yeah… didn't I bump into you like a week ago?"

'No no no! Why now, I'm not ready!' she thought, turning red with her sweating crazy. "I….I….Uh….."

"P-Pardon her! It's first day jitters!" Spoke the maid up quickly interjecting. "She's new to town and was worried she'd get lost around here."

"Oh? Ok, no problem, we all have our bad moments, right?" Mikey laughed happily. "See you later then."

"L-Later…." She waved shakingly as he turned and walked off while swaying on her spot. "...Angela, bathroom, NOW!"

"Yes mistress!" She grabbed the girl by the arms and ushered her into the nearest bathroom.

Once they were in Rukia collapsed.

"I-I almost failed! I almost failed right off the bat!"

"No you didn't mistress."

"Of course I did! I froze right up!" She groaned. "And before that I yelled at him! He almost thought I was a complete and utter bitch!"

"I'm sure he's fine, I mean you are still new here and he didn't look like he was bothered by it."

"But first impressions are everything!"

"And I'm sure you'll blow him away the next time you see him." she said as she patted her head. "Besides, it's only a first impression, you can still knock him out of the park with the second one, or the third, or the fourth!"

"I can't mess up again!" She growled clenching her hands. "I'm just lucky I decided that you were to accompany me today. "Angela! You get another promotion, you are to never leave my side!"

"...pardon?"

"You are my real life autocorrect, you can fix all of my mistakes right as I make them!" She gave a cold and smug grin. "Which means with you by my side, I'll win over Mikey's heart in no time."

"Mistress, I don't...can I turn down this generous promotion? I'm sure you will do fine on your o-"

"NO." She spoke firmly. "Denying this will result in a more permanent solution."

"Is...isn't this pretty permanent?"

"I was thinking more along the lines of something less yappy. My father knows a very skilled taxidermist." She contemplated, making the maid pale.

"O-On second thought I always did enjoy being around you! Let's go get you Mikey!"

"Glad to hear it." She said with a nod. "Now then, let's get to work!"

'I just want to go home.'

(Later)

The two of them found themselves in the first class of the day, algebra.

"Alright, I hope this is a good plan, shouldn't we be right behind Mikey?" Rukia whispered to Angela.

"The paperwork to get you into all of his classes worked out, but the seating was something not looked into." She whispered. 'I just hope the teacher doesn't give us too much work.'

SLAM

"Alright you little shits, sit your asses down." Barked a man in a suit with shades, which was one of the many men Rukia ordered who walked over to the desk and looked at them. "If I get any snot nosed brats trying to mess with me, you'll find out how far I can kick your ass out the window."

'Is this idea of casual?!' Angela thought as she glance over to Rukia, who looked calm and slightly pleased.

He grabbed some chalk and started to jot down some random gibberish on the board, with the class confused before he tossed it away and looked at them. "Alright class, today we'll talk about how to properly dispose of a body."

"Um, but this is algebra."

"...like I said, we'll talk about how many bodies to dispose of in one night without the police catching on." He said as he glared at the student who spoke up. "And it seems we have a volunteer."

The student gulped and shook their head. "N-No thanks, I'm good."

"Get on up here!"

"I don't wanna die!"

"Mistress, this is going horrible, should you do something?"

"Why? I'm just a newcomer. I have no control over the teacher." she gave an innocent shrug without losing her smile.

"But-"

"Oi, quiet in the back!"

'If all of our men are like this the school won't be standing for long.'

The student walked up nervously while the man pointed to him.

"Now a normal human body like this is naturally pretty easy to get rid of. You just need a sturdy garbage bag and a fast car with plenty of space in the back. Probably fit over half a dozen, about that man for grown adults. Once they're moved, then cutting them up and burying the pieces is just tedious work which takes longer."

"W-What do you need me for then sir?"

"A visual demonstration on what to expect. See fellas like you as a bit scrawny, which means you can get picked up easy." he moved over and hoisted the boy over his shoulder with ease. "Now you wanna make sure the body's not moving or else they squirm."

"Hey! Put me down!"

"Shut up, I'm working here, now if they start to struggle like this, they ain't dead yet."

"Uh sir? Couldn't we figure that out with an equation?" Asked one student. "How many to get rid of in one night I mean."

"Fine. You got five six foot guys to get in the four foot trunk of your car, how many trips do you have to make to the pig farm before every guy is there?"

Rukia perked up and started to move her hands to get the man's attention, while pointing over to Mikey who looked confused, with the man getting the signal.

"Hey you!" he pointed at the boy who perked up.

"Me?"

"Yeah you, do you know the answer?"

"Um…. nine trips if you cut them up?

The man saw Rukia nodding her head firmly and did the same. "That's right." he dropped the student on the ground who groaned. "Alright, take your seat."

"Y-Yes sir!"

"Good, now who here is familiar with the idea of stabbing a bitch who owes you money?"

(Later)

"Alright class, before we finish up, here's a question you can answer without writing it down. What's 102 divided by 3?"

'Aw man, I suck at dividing.' thought Mikey.

"Anyone know this? How about… the girl in the back."

'This is too easy, I could answer it in my sleep.' thought Rukia who looked at Mikey and had a thought before giving a discrete nod to Mikey. 'Give it to him you nimrod. If I answer it too quick he'll think I'm arrogant in my knowledge.'

'Why is she nodding her… ok, I think I get what she means.' He looked at Mikey. "How about you? You know the answer?"

"Me? Uh...I...can I pass?"

"No."

'Shit! Ok calm down, maybe if you make a guess you could get it right. I mean, it's worth a shot right?' He thought before clearing his through. "Is it five?"

The man stared at him, but saw Rukia nodding her head and cleared his throat. "Yes, that is correct."

"But teacher, the book says the answer is 34." spoke up one student.

The man frowned before pulling out a knife and put it on the desk. "Care to repeat that?"

"N-Nevermind, I must have read it wrong."

"Good." he saw Rukia give a thumbs up right as the bell rang. 'I did good, nice work mcstabbin.'

'That was a train wreck from start to finish, and we have four more classes today?!' Thought Angela with a small groan. "I shudder to imagine what those are gonna be like.'

(Later)

"Alright you little shits, welcome to art class, our first lesson is how to paint a 20 dollar bill." barked the man wearing a painting apron on with the class a bit confused.

"But isn't that illegal?"

"Only if you get caught." He pointed out while using the projector to bring up a picture of said bill. "Alright, take in the features of it, memorize it all, and try to copy it. First one who comes the closest won't get homework."

'They are horrible at this!' Thought Angela with a small groan.

"Oh! Before I forget, you littlshits are going to be working in groups of two, now get to it."

'Perfect.' Thought Rukia as the class started to pair up and walked towards Mikey with a blush. 'Just ask him if he wants to work together, get straight to the point and don't get tongue tied.' She thought as she got right next to him and cleared her through. "E-Excuse me…"

"Hey." he greeted with a smile.

"Uh...d-do you wanna p-p-pair up?" she asked with a small squeak in her tone.

"Sure, sounds good.' He said with a smile as her face heated up.

'H-H-He said yes!'

"So… do you know if the teacher wants us to try and make the bills lifelike or to just have fun?"

"I-I dunno, whatever you want to do…" She replied while looking down at her lap with a bright red face. 'Keep it together! You need to not be so nervous and just be calm and collected.'

"Ok, how about we paint them abstract, kinda like picasso?"

"S-Sure!" She let out louder than she expected. "That would be fun, really really fun!"

"Cool, let's get started." He said as she nodded enthusiastically.

(Later)

"Well? What do you think?" Mikey asked the teacher who stared at the strange painting that barely looked like a dollar.

"...it's shit." he replied bluntly with his arms crossed. "I said to make a genuine looking bill. Do you think this is a joke to ya?"

"But… you don't like it?" He said as he looked down a bit in disappointment, not seeing Rukia peer out from behind him and glare at the 'teacher'. "We worked really hard on it."

"We?" He said before noticing Rukia and paled. 'Ah shit.' "I-I mean it's shit, to the eyes of someone who doesn't know real art when they see it."

"Wait, so you like it?" Mikey asked as he perked up.

"Y-Yeah! It's perfect, amazing, utter perfection!"

"But it doesn't look-" one student spoke up before the teacher glared.

"I said it's utter perfection. Do I make myself clear?"

"Y-Yes sir!"

'Good, he can live for now.' Rukia thought with a nod.

And cue the bell ringing.

"Time for the next class Rukia, let's go." Angela said as she tapped the girl's shoulder.

Said girl didn't look at her and smiled with a dreamy sigh as she saw Mikey grab his things and leave. "Ah, I've been blessed today, I got to spend time with Mikey~"

"Mistress, shouldn't we be getting to the next class?"

"Oh! Yeah, Mikey will be there, right?"

"Of course."

"Then let's go!" She shouted as she rushed off.

Angela followed quickly after.

(Next class)

"Ugh, this is BORING." Groaned Rukia as they stared at a normal teacher prattle on about english grammar. 'Why would anyone need this if they can speak fine?'

"Ma'am, you could spend this time trying to figure out how to ask out your crush." Whispered Angela. "You know, on a date between the two of you."

"A-A date?1 Isn't that moving a bit fast?!"

"Not at all, the sooner you ask him out the sooner you can spend more time with him." Angela said with a nod. 'And the sooner I can get out of this stupid school.'

Rukia looked down at her head, her head already starting to conjure up images of what it would be like.

"And if you ask him out sooner you don't have to worry about someone else taking him b-" Angela started before Rukia paled and shot up in her seat.

"No way!" she yelled, catching everyone's attention, including Mikey's, which made her tense up as the teacher frowned.

"Is there a problem miss?"

"I… no sir, sorry." She said quietly as she sat back down. 'Damn it! I just made a fool of myself!'

"You can ask him after class ma'am."

"Oh I will, I WILL."

(Later)

"Ok class, remember to read the book for next class, got it?"

'The book won't matter after one of my men knocks you out you old fool.' Rukia thought with a small growl as she made a beeline towards Mikey. She tried to take a subtle deep breath, straightened out her back, and shyly tapped him on the back. "Excuse me, Mikey?"

"Huh? Oh, Rukia, hey, what's up?"

"I-I was just wondering if maybe...you know...you and I could...you know, after school?"

"Do what?"

"You know, go uh… get a bite to eat… alone?"

"Wait… are you asking me out on a date?"

"...yes." she squeaked out again.

"R-Really? Wow… I've never really been… yeah! I mean uh, yeah, I'd love to." He smiled with her perking up and swore she heard angels singing in her head.

'Yes! Nice job ma'am!' thought Angela sighing in relief while Mikey smiled wider.

"So wanna meet back up in front and figure out where to grab a bite to eat?"

"Sure, see you out there when school ends." She smiled as he nodded and walked off, with her feeling faint and wobbled before falling backwards, before Angela rushed over and narrowly caught her off. "He said yes~"

"Yes, he did. So, what are you going to do now? Where will you take him?"

"Some place perfect. Angela, find a list of some of the most fancy and expensive restaurants around here."

"Of course, shall I leave the school so I can find them better instead of being cooped up in a pointless class?"

"Yes, and when you've found the perfect one, text me. I'll talk to them personally and make it clear they either have an opening for us, or I'll ensure their business 'accidentally' gets struck by lightning and burns to the ground."

"Yes ma'am, will do." Bowed Angela before discretely walking off with Rukia holding her hands and bouncing on her feet, internally squeeing.

'It's happening, it's happening~'

(Later)

For the rest of the day Rukia spent her time staring at the back of Mikey's head with a dreamy expression, happy that the rest of the classes actually had her men doing the teaching who didn't bother her, especially given right now it was gym, with numerous dodgeballs set out.

"Alright, I don't think I have to explain this shit, grab a ball, hit someone, rinse and repeat, got it?" barked the man, who had several scars on his face while holding a cigar in his teeth. "And don't go whining if you get too scuffed up, it builds character."

"B-But what about teams?"

"Free for all you little shit, you all can stop when the bell rings." he replied before blowing his whistle. "Go nuts!"

The kids looked around before everything descended into utter chaos. All of them shoving and kicking the others away as they tried to get as many balls as they could hold to pelt anyone in their line of sight.

"Die die die!"

"Help! I'm too young to die!"

Rukia herself sat on the side with her arms crossed and looking bored, just keeping an eye on Mikey who was doing the onslaught instead of getting attacked himself. 'Good, he's strong and not a wimp, father will be happy about that.'

"You'll never take me alive!" he let out before knocking one boy out with a ball to the head, ducked, and grabbed another one to use as a human shield.

'Yes, yes, dominate the battlefield!' She thought, smiling. 'Show no mercy to anyone!'

RING

"Alright, pack it up, class is over."

'Shame, and I was starting to enjoy watching fools fall.' Rukia sighed before pausing. 'Wait, this was the last class of the day! Now my d-date with Mikey can start!'

Said boy realized it as well and saw Rukia stare at him before quickly looking away and walked off to get changed. He smiled and inwardly fist pumped. 'Alright, your first date Mikey. Oh! I gotta use the extra strong deodorant, don't wanna stink.'

(Later)

'Where is he?' Rukia thought, waiting outside the school impatiently, not caring that school had just ended. 'He said to meet up in front to go over ideas, but he's not here. Did I come too early? Too late? Oh! Did he have a change of heart and decide it was a waste of time?!'

"Hey Rukia, sorry for the wait! I just wanted to shower quick in the locker room." Called Mikey walking over, snapping her out of it and making her internally sigh in relief.

"Oh, great, glad to see you made it." She sighed in relief.

"Yeah, same so… um… where do you wanna go?"

She opened her mouth….and then closed it, going wide eyed since she just realized she never got a text from Angela on possible locations. 'No no no! This is the worst possible scenario!' She thought as she cleared her throat. "Well um, uh… I'm kind of new to the area so…. Uh… do you know any good places?"

"Well I-"

Beep

"Oh! Sorry, that's me." chuckled Rukia before quickly looking at her phone and saw Angela texted her back. 'Finally!' She thought as she quickly skimmed the list. "Oh! What about Luigi's?"

"Luigis? But that place is super expensive, I uh…. I don't know if I can afford it…" He admitted rubbing the back of his head awkwardly.

"Oh you don't have to worry, I asked you so I'll pay."

"Wait, really? But…" He started only for her to shake her head.

"Please, I insist." She spoke firmly. "You let me take care of it all."

"Well… I can get the next one if we do this again." he said as he rubbed the back of his head.

'Again? Another date?! Yes!' She thought as she perked up, practically beaming.

'Wow, she looks so happy right now, and the date hasn't even started.' He thought with a smile before pulling out his keys. "We can take my car."

"Wow, you have a car?" She asked with a smile.

"Yep, I got it from my grandpa." He walked to the parking lot while she followed. "Been doing some upgrading on it, so it's got a bit of a kick to it."

"Wow, I can't...wait." She said as he stopped at an old sedan that looked like it was more rust than car, with faded white paint, and the bumper being held to the car by a few zip ties. 'Good kami, this thing looks like it'll fall apart just from a sneeze.'

"Alright, it should be unlocked, the lock broke a few years ago, but luckily I don't have anything in here worth stealing." Mikey said as he got in.

Rukia got inside and coughed when some dust got near her from the seat.

"Ah, sorry about that, grandma and grandpa were chain smokers and despite the dozens of times I tried to vacuum all the dust and ash and soot out of the car I just kept finding more and more."

"It's ok, my own father has a tendency to smoke." 'Cigars worth more than this whole thing that is.'

"Well, let's head out, and I just want to apologize ahead of time for the rust bucket, she doesn't really drive smoothly."

"No need, it's fine." She smiled. 'Just going on this date is worth having to sit in this rickety old thing.'

"Alright, onward to Luigi's!"

(Later)

"Oh god, never again, never again!"

"Sorry, I guess the ride could have gone better huh?" Mikey chuckled as Rukia stumbled out of the car.

"Oh god… we were going to die…." She muttered with swirls in her eyes. 'I've never felt so close to death like that before.'

"Well, we got here and that's what's important, right?"

'I'm buying him a new car the second I get home!' She thought, shaking her head as they arrived at the restaurant. "Yes, it is. Hope you have a big appetite."

"I do… but will they let us in?" He asked at he looked at the extravagantly decorated italian restaurant. "I mean, I'm just wearing jeans and a sweatshirt…"

"Oh don't worry, I'm sure we'll get in no problem." She said with a small smirk. 'I own the place, and they know better than to refuse ME.'

Both of them walked up to the doors and entered, Mikey taken back at the expensive and grand decor with Rukia looking neutral. "Rukia… let's go, I can't have you pay for a meal here on your own, that wouldn't be fair."

"No need to fret Mikey, I have it under control." she smiled. 'Aw, he's a perfect gentleman, feeling bad about me paying the big bill, so noble~'

They walked up to the server who had a handlebar mustache with his eyes closed.

"Uh, table for two please." spoke Mikey.

"Do you have any reservations?"

"Well, but-"

"Then you don't get a table, simple as that, now leave."

"Let me try Mikey." Rukia said with a smile as the server opened his eyes in slight annoyance. When he saw her his eyes widened in shock as she moved over. "You may want to check your list again. I'm sure there's a spot for Rukia, isn't that right?"

"A-Ah, Rukia, my mistake, how could I have forgotten!" He spoke flipping through the book and breaking in a cold sweat. "Ah yes! Here it is! Completely my mistake for not seeing that, would you care for a booth or table?"

"A booth please, I said so over the phone, remember?" She said as her eyes narrowed.

"Ah! Of course of course! My memory must be fading, let me show you to our finest booth around."

"Good. come on Mikey, let's go." She said as the server rushed to show them to their booth.

He looked at her in surprise and followed as they went near the back, with booths that looked like they could hold a dozen people.

"Is this the right spot?" Mikey asked as he and Rukia were seated.

"Of course, you like?"

"Yeah, but… isn't it a bit big for just the two of us?"

"Well I figured the more room we had, the better since we wouldn't have to worry about falling out." She said quickly, beginning to panic. 'Oh no, did I go to far already?!'

'Huh, she must be extra cautious. That's understandable.' He thought with a small nod. 'I mean this is probably her first date, right?'

Rukia looked at the menu quickly and used it to hide her face. 'Ok, I need to try and make small talk so it's not awkward.' She thought as she cleared her throat. "S-So, um…. Uh…. how was….school?"

"Um… fine? You were at most of my classe with me, remember?"

'AAAAAHHHHH! Stupid, stupid, stupid!' She thought turning red. 'Of course he would notice! I just fucked it up already!'

"So… where did you go to school before you came here?"

"Oh! Well...I used to go to an all girl school." She said quickly with a nod. "It was boring, so I left."

"Really? Just like that?"

"Well there were other factors as well, a few of the teachers got caught up in a scandal, that kind of thing." 'And I found my first crush~'

"Ah, yeah, I guess that would do it, huh?" He said with a nod as a waiter began to approach them.

"May I take your order boss?"

Mikey looked confused with Rukia sending a glare and slowly shaking her head behind the menu before smiling.

"Yes you may, but my name's Rukia, not boss."

"Huh? Ok, if you say so, would you like the usual?"

'Usual? She must eat here often.'

"Just some garlic bread to start, do you want anything else for a starter Mikey?"

"Uh, I think I'll just have some water, I'd rather save my appetite for the main course." 'And so I don't run the bill up too high.'

"Ok, can I get you two anything to drink? We have the young ladies favorite wine in sto-"

"I don't drink!" she cut him off quickly with Mikey jumping as she tried to smile innocently. "Just ice tea will do."

"Oh, ok, and for the young man?"

"Uh… just water, thanks." He said as he looked at Rukia curiously. 'Wine? Why does this waiter seem to know her so well?'

"Alright, I'll be right back." The waiter said as Rukia nodded, trying not to growl.

'This idiot is going to blow my cover!' She thought as it went silent between them, the only noise being the other customers with Mikey looking away. 'Oh no, I need to say something to keep us talking.' "S-So, uh… I… yeah, I moved from my old school recently."

"Yeah, you told me." Mikey said as Rukia groaned. "So… what do you do for fun?"

"Uh….all sorts of things." She replied, thinking back to her ordering others around to watching people get tortured and just lounging around some beaches.

"Like what? Did you play some kind of sports, a hobby?" Mikey prodded, trying to keep the conversation going.

"No, I'm not all that into sports." She said as she racked her brain. 'Damn it, what can I actually talk to him about that doesn't make me seem like a freak?!'

"Boss? Hey, little boss!" Called a russian voice from across the room, making Rukia pale.

'No! Stop calling me that on my date!' She thought as she looked over to see a tall woman walking over in a business suit smiling.

"Rukia, it is me, Natasha, it has been too long!"

Mikey was surprised while Rukia paled and tried smiling innocently. "A friend of yours I take it?"

"N-not exactl-"

"Come give your aunty Natasha a hug Rukia!"

'Aunt? Wow, I didn't know she was Russian.'

'No! No no no, she was supposed to be in Russia for two more months!' Rukia thought with a groan as the woman reached them and pulled her into a hug.

"Oh it is so good to see you! If I knew you were here I would have made reservations and we could have had a girl's only time." She laughed happily before looking over and spotting Mikey. "Oh? What do we have here?"

"N-Nothing, absolutely nothing." whispered Rukia trying not to lose it.

"Nothing?" Natasha asked as she began to gain a mischievous grin. "Then you don't mind if I join, do you? You have plenty of room in this booth."

'No! Don't you dare damn it! How am I supposed to get on good terms with Mikey if you interfere?!' She thought as she gulped nervously.

"Um… excuse me, ma'am? We're actually on a uh….date?" He said as he looked to Rukia for confirmation, to which she nodded happily.

"A date is it now~?" Natasha said with a big grin. "Oh my little Rukia is growing up so fast! It feels like yesterday I was teaching her how to use a switchblade and shakedown corner stores for protection money~"

"...wait what?"

"NO! NO NO NO NO NO! AAAAAUUUUGGGHHHHH! NO!'

"And then there was the time she learned how to properly make a point with her subordinates."

"Subordinates?" Mikey asked, Rukia now frozen in both horror and rage.

"Yeah, her subordinates that her father, the mob boss gave her, oh she made him and me so proud~"

Mikey blinked and turned to the girl who broke in a cold sweat with her hands up as she shook her head.

"I-I-It's not like that! She….She's delirious! We've been trying to get her in a home for it, but she's too stubborn! Likes to make up tall tales!"

"What? Oh no, it's true, I even have pictures, see!" Natasha said as she reached into her cleavage and pulled out several pictures of a young Rukia.

Mikey blushed, and was about to see them, only for a pair of waiters to move over and put their hands on her shoulders.

"Sorry ma'am, but you're disturbing the customers, please leave."

"Oi, you little shits let go, did you forget me already?! It's me, Natasha!" She scowled as they both froze.

"O-Our apologies ma'am!"

"We didn't mean anything by it!"

"If you don't get her out of here, I'll make you live without a spine." Rukia whispered to one while squeezing the back of his ribs making him pale. "Now get. Her. Out. Now."

"I-I-I...' He stuttered, feeling like he was being forced to choose between a tiger and a polar bear.

"Excuse me, Natasha? I hate to ask this, but…. Could you leave for now? I really need to talk to Rukia." Mikey said nervously.

"Oh! Right, you two probably privacy all on your own, I understand." She winked before turning and walked away with the waiters moving out of the way quickly. "Have fun Rukia~"

'OLD HAG! I'll kill you for ruining my chances with Mikey!' Thought the girl with a murderous look before looking at Mikey and tried to give an innocent smile. "Well, she sure is dense isn't she? Coming up with so many stories it's a wonder she hasn't gotten her own show."

"Rukia… I'm just gonna say it….I want the truth, the whole truth." He said as she paled. "Look me in the eyes and tell me if that woman was telling the truth or not, are you the daughter of a mob boss?"

'Shit shit shit shit shit!' She gulped. "Uh….define mob boss."

"Someone who has control over a group of people who commits cr- wait, you know what I mean, just yes or no!" He groaned, catching himself.

"...Maybe a little?"

"Rukia. Yes or no."

"I-I-I….Yes! Fine, I am the daughter of a mob boss! I have people I control, everything Natasha said is true, alright?!" She shouted, her pent up frustration and stress finally hitting the breaking point. "So go, leave, walk out now if you want!"

Mikey flinched as she slammed her head on the table as her shoulders whook.

"Just go ahead, say what you want and go! It's what you're wanting anyway…"

"...Why didn't you tell the truth?" He asked, making her pause.

"...What?"

"I said, why didn't you tell me the truth in the first place?"

"I….what?" She said, not knowing what to say. Out of all the responses she expected, that wasn't one of them.

"Why didn't you just tell me the truth about you from the start?"

"Because….I'm part of the mob?" She said, feeling like it was obvious. "Because you would have turned me down instantly? Because I'm a criminal?"

"Well you never really asked about what my views on that kinda stuff was, so how could you really know?"

"...because it's the mob?! How many ways are there to feel about me and my family?!"

"Have you killed anyone?"

"Does extreme painful torture count?" She asked, tilting her head.

"Uh… no?" Mikey said as he paused, the fact that Rukia was a real criminal who had hurt people finally sinking in. "W-Well, then it's not that bad… right?" He said as she froze before her face lit up.

"S-So the date's not ruined?!" She asked in shock. "Even after hearing all that stuff from my aunt?!"

"Well, she didn't really say anything that bad, right? It sounded more like an over enthusiastic aunt teasing you… and maybe this is for the best." He said with a sigh, making her pause.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, imagine if I learned that you'd been lying to me about your whole life after a year of dating rather than the first couple of days of knowing you." he said as she started to shake and paled.

"Uh...hypothetically if that HAD happen, what would you have done?"

"Probably freaked out, ran away, changed my identity and moved to Argentina."

"W-Well it's a good thing that didn't happen!" she chuckled nervously. 'Oh god, that sounds like a disaster! I'll have to thank aunty Natasha for intervening...after I kick her ass.'

"Your drinks?" the waiter from before came back with the ice tea and water.

"So… I guess your family also owns this place, huh?" Mikey said as she nodded. "And they're the reason you moved to my school so quickly?

"Yes." She said with a nod. "I...I really wanted to be closer to you." 'Wait, I just said that outloud!'

"Wait… so you moved schools, all so you could get close to me to ask me out on a date?" He asked as his cheeks began to heat up a bit.

"...wow this tea is great!" She spoke, taking a quick sip making him fall on his side.

"Come on! A simple yes or no would be nice."

"I'm not used to this yet! I didn't plan on letting you know for awhile!" She groaned as she hid behind her menu again. "I've never experienced this before…"

"Well… let's start from the beginning then. Hi, I'm Mikey, nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you Mikey, my name's Rukia."

"Let's try and have a nice dinner, get to know each other." Mikey said as she nodded happily.

"Yes, let's Mikey." She said happily. 'This is the best day ever!'

(Later)

"So… you're the one my daughter has taken an interest in, hmmm?" asked the man who was inhaling some smoke from his cigar and blew it out, staring Mikey down who kept his head bowed, sitting next to Rukia and with numerous guards in the same room.

"Y-Yes sir, it's a pleasure to meet you." He greeted while trying to keep from stuttering. 'K-Keep it together, it's just Rukia's dad...who's a crime boss!'

'Hmmm, I was expecting him to be a little taller.' Thought the man as he looked over Mikey. "...pathetic, this is who you chose Rukia?"

"Yes, and I know he might not seem like much, but I can confirm that there's more to him than outward looks."

"Then what does he have, money, power, influence? What makes him worthy of having you?"

"His charm." she smiled with a blush while holding her cheeks.

"His charm? So his charisma?" He asked with a frown. 'I know she loves him, but come on! Why couldn't she have fallen for someone useful!'

"Exactly." She said with a nod.

"So, you have the power to command armies of men to follow your orders without hesitation?"

"I...uh….maybe?"

"Hmmm, well with my group, it's do or die to make hard choices, especially if you wanna keep the men in line and not get any ideas." He said as Mikey gulped. "Now then, how about a task, demand something of me, ask me for my most valued possession, the one thing I love the most and demand it be yours." He said as he crossed his arms.

"Uh….well….oh! Ok, I want your daughter." He said as he closed his eyes and nodded. 'Parents value their kids the most, right? So that must be what he means, right?'

"You WHAT?!" He shouted angrily. "YOU WANT MY PRIDE AND JOY?!"

"Yes, yes, yes!" Rukia said quickly with a large smile on her face as if Christmas, her birthday and every other holiday had just come early. "I will marry you!"

"Great, so-" Mikey saw the man pull out his gun, making him pale and duck as a bullet went over his head. "Woah!"

"I'LL KILL YA YOU LITTLE SHIT!"

"Wait wait! I thought that was what you wanted me to say!"

"I didn't want you to demand my daughter's hand in marriage! I wanted you to ask for my car or some shit!"

"Then it was a slip up!" He said as he quickly dodged another bullet.

"T-Then… you don't want to marry me?" Rukia sniffed as her eyes began to tear up.

"Wait no! It's not that!" He said quickly as he dodged another bullet. "I-I just…. Yes, I do want to marry you someday, bu-"

"I KNEW IT!"

'Shit!'


	25. Chapter 25

List of oneshots 4

chapter 25

A man comes across a Nang Tani.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

We start off with a clean looking apartment. Barely anything looked out of order, except for the man sleeping with a porn mag on his face.

J"Zzzzzzz." he snored, scratching at his junk as he was sleeping awkwardly on the couch.

JThat's when a knocking was heard!

"Mom! It was Joey who did..." He said still a bit drowsy.

Knock knock

"Ugh...five more minutes...and tits..."

"THIS IS THE POLICE AND I HAVE A WARRANT FOR YOUR ARREST!"

That got him up! "Officer please it, wasn't my fault, I was dr-" He opened the door and it wasn't the cops, it was a delivery man. "-you ass..."

"Sorry sir, but I have a package for you."

"Finally, it's here." He said before signing the paper. "Well what are you waiting for? Bring it in."

The delivery man moved over and grunted as he had to pick up the big box and lug it inside. "Where...do you want it?"

"Next to my computer desk."

The man lugged it over and set it down with a sigh. "Ok, now I just need you to sign for it."

"Here you go!" He signed and then pushed the delivery man out of his apartment. "Asshole, time for breakfast."

He then opened the box and revealed a plantain tree. "Yes!" Then he grabbed a banana and then walked away getting his breakfast ready. "Nothing like fresh bananas in the morning." He buttered his toast then started eating. 'Mmmh, the Saitama breakfast.'

As he sat down the pot however slowly shook.

'Is there an earthquake? If only I could feel those.' He thought.

He kept on eating while the shaking got harder.

'The earthquake is getting crazier, better finish breakfast fast before my expensive figures of anime girls fall off the shelves.' he thought as he eyed the shelves with a smile.

After finishing his toast and then the banana, he got up and ran for the shelf, but that's when the shaking stopped. "Phew, almost lost you my beauties."

"Beauties? What am I? Chopped liver?" Said a voice.

"Oh come-on Kamon-Chan, you're my favorite, that's why you're on the computer des-" as he turned around, he saw a tan skinned woman wearing banana leaves for clothes sitting on his desk chair, legs crossed. She had straight blonde hair, a b cup chest, small ass, and wore sunglasses. "Who are you!? I thought my loneliness was finally making me hear voices!"

"Nope, you're not crazy, I'm real." She said. "Hello, I'm Kamon, you?"

"Morgan, but that's all you'll get from me." He said before dialing for the police.

"I'm not about to lose my shit this early in the morning from some...half nudist?"

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

"Oh and why not?"

"If you're mean to a Nang Tani, and their banana tree, we can curse you."

"Banana tree? You mean you came from my plants? No wonder you have unimpressive assets."

She grit her teeth from that remark. "Anyways, I can bring you good fortune if you treat me nicely. Besides, aren't you nerds into monster girls these days? You won't find a better deal than this."

"...so you expect me to believe you're a legit monster girl? Alright, then prove it."

Then she started levitating. "Proof enough?"

"OH MY GOD! REAL MONSTER GIRL!" he ran out of the room and came back with a net.

"Yep, so you better treat me right or I won't kiss you and instead curse you." she spoke before the net went over her. "Hey! What's the meaning of this!?"

"Heh heh heh..." he chuckled. "Just to be on the safe side."

"Safe side? You moron! I can just curse you ya know! My kind curse any man who does wrong towards women and right now, you're doing me a lot of wrong!"

"I'm just worried I'll lose the first ever monster girl. This is a once in a lifetime chance for any geek!"

"I can't escape anyways, my home is that potted plant next to your computer!"

"Wait, seriously?"

"Seriously, now get this net off!"

"...what's the magic word?"

"Pretty please with 2 bananas on the sundae?"

"That's better." Then he threw off the net.

"So Kamon, what monster girl are you?"

"Well Morgan, I'm a Nang Tani. I don't look like regular Nang Tani, but then again, they live in normal banana trees and not plantains." She explained.

"...a what?"

"A Nang Tani, we are spirits who appear when we sense men who wronged women."

"Oh crap, is that why you keep talking about cursing me!?"

"Yep."

"I swear it was an accident! It's not my fault the grocery lady had a tank top on! She had cleavage for all to see!"

"That won't cut it, your ass is still doomed!"

"Well what if I just burned down the plantain tree? I'm loaded, I can get another!"

"Oh shit! Please don't!" she cried out going pale. "It's the only place I have to live!"

"Well, guess we're at an impasse. What can you offer me to compromise?"

"You can tell people I'm your girlfriend."

"Whoa, putting out just like that?"

"What? Don't geeks usually want that?"

"I'm definitely not declining that offer, I'm just impressed you made the offer so quickly."

"It's called surviving." she deadpanned.

"Survival, because you're a wild girl?"

"Can you just tell me what you'll offer for compromise?"

"For starters, I can get you some less revealing clothes."

"What's wrong with my clothes?"

"It's nothing but leaves, and shows off your body a lot. I sometimes have guests and I don't want those guests staring when I'm trying to discuss things with them and when we play video games."

"Hey, I'm not ashamed of my body."

"And if I'm gonna tell people you're my girlfriend, I prefer if you'd only show it off to me."

"Ugh, fine."

"Now, do you like candy? I've got no shortage, just open that cabinet door. Take what you want, except for the gummy worms." Morgan told Kamon pointing to the cabinet.

She raised an eyebrow and opened it, and got a wave of sweets crashing on her, and buried her along with the pot. "Okay...you've convinced me. So what now?"

"Instead of cursing me, can you use those powers on some bastards I've been seeing around here? I'll happily point them out when you see them."

"Have they done wrong to women?"

"They all have, including my own ma and sis."

"Ok, then I just need to know who."

"Yes, he is dumb, as he keeps telling me he never finished Elementary School."

"Wow."

"Yep, but there are more assholes who are much smarter than him."

"HEY SWEATER NERD! Come on out for your beating!"

"That will be him right now. I'll be the opening act, you give him...I don't know what kind of curse you Nang Tani put on people, but I hope the curse suits him."

"Hello nerd."

"Hey Ugly."

"It's Oak Lee!"

"It's the only comeback I have against your bullying."

"Shut up and take your beating like a dork."

"After you stop being so Ugly." Said Morgan.

"It's Oak Lee!"

"Ah, so you agree with me."

"Fuck you!" He reeled back his fist.

'That just won't do.' Thought Kamon. Kamon then put the curse on him. A plank of wood then fell from the ceiling to his head!

"Guh!" Then he was knocked out.

Morgan then closed the door. "Huh, what curse did you put on him?"

"He's named after a tree right? His curse to be forever assaulted by wood."

"For real? All the time?"

"Yep. So he'll be forced to wander this world until his death, most likely by slapstick." Said Kamon.

"Nice Kamon. So that asshole has been dealt with." Started Morgan."Next one won't be here till tomorrow standing across the street trying to be some 'messiah'."

"So we'll have to wait till tomorrow to attack this next guy?"

"Bingo."

"I can do that. Not much TO do when you're in a pot but wait."

"Well, since you're in a house, we can always watch a movie together or play a video game?"

"A movie? A video game?"

"Oh, guess you nev-"

"I'm kidding, I've seen a few movies and seen some arcades. I've had some different banana and plantain trees."

"Huh?"

"I'm kind of a bad home owner...moved to some other trees after accidentally burning down my previous trees."

"How do you accidentally burn down your homes multiple times?"

"Trust me, I question my luck as well." she sweatdropped. "But enough about the dreary stuff, what do you got?"

"Well, I was planning on watching some ghost movies, like Poltergeist and Ghostbusters."

"Ooh, good movies." she remarked while biting into another candy bar. "I'm gonna need help to the couch though."

"Yes ma'am." Then he picked her up and off to the couch they went.

Some time later...

"Now to cross the streams!"

"So I was just wondering, what if 2 guys crossed their 'streams'?" Asked Kamon, making Morgan spit out his soda.

"Why would you make a joke like that? I'm trying to watch a movie."

"Hey I'm just saying. If guys can piss with direction, what does it matter if they let their streams touch?"

"You have some weird fantasies."

"It's called curiosity!"

"Okay, okay. Weird 'curiosity'." Morgan said with air quotes.

Kamon pouted from that remark.

Morgan in response quickly pulled out his phone and snapped a pic of her. "Really cute."

"Hey! Don't go taking pics of me like that."

"I'm sorry, you're just so cute."

That made her puff out her cheeks, and got another picture taken. "Hey!"

"Okay, I'm sorry, no more pics...for now."

(Later)

It was the next day with Kamon and Morgan on the couch sleeping. Candy wrappers everywhere and Kamon laying on Morgan. Both of them snoring away. But that's when someone started shouting into a megaphone!

"Good people! We must stand up against the government!"

"BWAH!" Shouted both, while holding each other.

"For too long have we been sheep under their power! But no more!"

"Is that the idiot?" Asked Kamon.

"Yep, I'm gonna get breakfast ready, you go cast the curse." Said Morgan.

"Men, we need more numbers, so please join me in breeding more numbers, whether the women consent or don't consent!"

'Ah, so you're trying to promote?' Kamon thought, looking out the window. 'Well how's about the people get a revolution against you?'

The crowd he was gathering was either onboard, or conflicted.

'And for the people who are thinking of following him...'

"Now, let us-"

That's when gorillas attacked the guy with the megaphone meanwhile various other animals started attacking the other people who wanted to join him!

"Oh god! Alligator!"

"A zebra!"

"Aw, a baby koala."

That's when it started eating that one guy's face.

"Ah! Not a Koala, a DROP BEAR!"

"Tee hee hee." Giggled Kamon.

"Come on, Kamon, breakfast is ready."

She grabbed her pot and hopped over to the table.

"I'm not much for a big breakfast." Said Morgan as he ate his banana and bread.

"As long as I get plenty of water and sun, I'll live."

"Oh, then in that case I'll get you a glass of water and move your pot near the window."

"Make it so, minion."

"Hey, respect the guy who's taking care of you."

Then Kamon pecked Morgan's cheek. "That enough respect for you?"

Morgan blushed. "N-not what I was thinking but thanks, no girls ever just went and did that to me."

"Well I'm not some regular girl now am I?"

"Yeah, you're right."

"So, how many more kisses to gotta give you to refill the snack cabinet?"

"You ate the whole thing?"

"Except for your gummies."

"What? You allergic to them?"

"No, I recall you said those were yours, so I left them alone."

"Thanks for remembering then."

"HELP! The gorillas are tearing my arms off!" Shouted the guy outside.

"Nice curse."

"Thank you."

After breakfast...

"So how far can you walk away from your tree? I wanna take you on a date."

"It's...pretty hard."

"That's a bit of a let down."

"Yeah, but at least I have some interesting company."

That's when the phone started ringing.

"Huh? Who could that be?" Said Morgan, checking his phone. "Rod? What does he want?"

"You have a friend named Rod?"

"Short for Rodger, but he prefers Rod so people know how big his 'rod' is."

"Really?"

"Yep." Then he answered. "Hello?"

"Dude! My plantain tree spawned this hot ghost babe!"

"...Rod? Are you smoking something?"

"Dude I'm serious this time. She says she's a Nang Tani."

And like that Morgan spat out whatever was in his mouth. "Say what?!"

"Yeah, her name is Gun. She's so smoking hot, you gotta see her!"

"Uh...dude, this is a strange coincidence, because I just got a Nang Tani named Kamon yesterday."

"For real? Wait, are you just fooling with me?"

"How's about you and Gun come over and hang out later to prove I ain't lying."

"You're on." And then Rod hung up.

"Damn."

"What is it?" Asked Kamon.

"My friend is bringing his own Nang Tani over."

"Nice, I have seen another one of my kind in a while."

Meanwhile in Rod's House..."So...do I lug you there?" Asked a red haired man who was very skinny, wearing blue shades, pink shirt, black pants and sandals.

"Hmm...wanna try wrapping the bananas in a banana leaf?" Replied Gun. "I think as long as I have part of my tree with me, I'll be fine."

Rod then wrapped the banana in the leaf and the both tried leaving the house. "It worked." Said Rod.

"Yes!" Now let's go see your friend." Said Gun. She had straight black hair, blue eyes, a huge ass, D cup breasts and a small waist.

"Wait! You barely have anything on. I have some kinky clothes that can pass as regular clothes."

"Kinky clothes?"

"Look, I want a woman to indulge in my fetish, but right now this is an emergency."

"An emergency to indulge?"

"No I mean we have no time to buy you regular clothes right now. Put this sweater and miniskirt on."

"Okay."

Gun then put on the sweater and skirt. The sweater showing off the shape of the round mounds underneath while the skirt barely covered her ass. "It feels too tight."

"We'll get you clothes that fit tomorrow, how does that sound?"

"Okay, but if you break your promise I'll curse you."

Later, a knocking came to Morgan's door.

"Oh, that must be Rod." Said Morgan. He walked and answered the door. "Called it."

"Hey Morgan, so where's you banana babe?"

"Sitting over there, freeloading on my couch."

"I heard that!" Then she used her magic which made Morgan jump into the air before landing hard on the floor!

"Ow...am I cursed now?"

"Nah, but keep saying those remarks and see what happens."

"Yes ma'am." Then Morgan turned his attention to Rod. "So guys, come on in and...hey where's your tree?"

"Oh, we figured out a cheat." Said Gun, presenting the banana and leaf.

"Nice, and when I say that, I mean the cheat and all of you."

"Heeeeey, you already got your own." Said Rod.

"Just kidding."

"No you weren't."

"Trust me I was."

"Hmph..." Then they walked in.

"Hello!" Gun greeted Kamon. "Oh my, why are your tiddies so tiny?"

And cue a banana to the eye.

"Hey!"

"Say that again, I dare ya!"

"Okay, sorry."

"Thought so, miss saggy sacks."

"Saggy?"

"Well...seems Kamon has met Gun." Said Morgan covering Kamon's mouth. "What's with the attitude?" He whispered.

"I'm jealous of her big boobs and ass." She whispered back.

"You're hot in your own right, I'll show you later."

"Okay, but you better keep your promise."

"Huh, despite no proportions, your Nang Tani is pretty." Rod complimented.

"I know, isn't she adorable?" he smiled rubbing his cheek with Kamon's making her blush.

"Has she been cursing the jerks around here?"

"Yeah, there's still a bunch more but she can take a break for some fun."

"Yeah, some fun, heheheh..."

"Not that kind of fun, Rod...at least not yet."

"I know, just messing with yah. So ready to lose 8 times at video games?"

"I was gonna ask you that."

Then all 4 got their controllers and Morgan put on a game.

"It's great to finally have 4 players, we haven't had a full 4 since..."

"Dude! Stop thinking about those 2, I stopped thinking about them, but then you brought them up!" Said Morgan.

"Did some bad blood happen here?" Asked Kamon.

"Blood would be a key word, but Morgan's right, you don't have to know."

"That's fair, you can talk to us about it when you feel comfortable." Said Gun.

'Ah, such an angel.' Thought Kamon.

"Alright, so ready for a fighting game?" Asked Rod.

"Hell yeah, I've seen every last fighting game when I had a banana tree as a decoration for an arcade." Explained Kamon.

"You don't wanna know what else I saw. It was...a weird time."

"I bet, something you might try and my main man Morgan?"

"Maybe."

Morgan blushed.

"Please do, he hasn't had a girlfriend since Elementary."

"Cute."

Then they started playing.

"Check out this jank." Said Kamon. "So much frame perfection."

"Ah no! Stop, come on! You've only watched these games, how'd you get time to practice?" Complained Morgan.

"Any arcades reportedly haunted in this town?"

"Yeah?"

"Me."

"No fair!" Shouted Morgan.

"How's this for no fair?" Then she pecked Morgan's cheek.

"Gah!"

"Brutal Defeat." Said the game announcer.

"Cheater!"

"Not like you were putting up much of a fight anyways." Said Gun.

"Up yours!"

"Heh, I'll certainly go up on her after this." Said Rod.

Next match was Rod vs Gun.

"Oh, oops, uh, hey, can you let me play?" Asked Gun as her character was losing hp fast.

"Can't do that."

And like that the match was over.

"Perfect win!" Said the announcer.

"Ha! I am the champ!"

"Careful Kamon, your next match has a great record in fighting game tournaments. 5 first places, 2 runner ups and 6 third places before retiring."

"Bring it on!"

The battle started and they were equally matched.

"Come on come on come on!" Shouted Gun and Morgan.

"Damn, you are skilled for someone without the trophies to prove it." Said Rod.

"Damn straight!"

"But unlike you, there's a reason I have all these trophies!" That's when Rod pressed buttons and moved around the joystick in rapid succession, making his character do a crazy and flashy move!

"What in the-"

And with one last strike, Kamon's character was defeated!

"What?!"

"You win and you lose!" Said the announcer. "Close battle!"

"Aw man."

"Wow Rod, you're really good, what made you retire from competitive fighting games?" Asked Gun.

"..." Both Morgan and Rod were dead silent.

"Oh...none of our business right?"

"Damn right."

That's when they heard some crazy stuff going on outside.

"Women! As a man, I understand what you want."

"Oh hey, someone who tries to annoy women. Uh Rod, sorry I have to cut our playtime short." Said Morgan.

"Eh, no problem."

Then Rod and Gun leave.

"Okay Kamon, this guy thinks girls wanna be treated like they were ugly because he thinks complimenting them doesn't work."

"What a moron, it's being a great person that gets you dates."

"That's what I'm saying! I never understood the whole insult someone to make them like you approach."

"Hey boob fat, ditch the zero and get with a hero!"

"This isn't fat, it's natural!"

"Okay, this man is getting a very bad curse, near death curse. He'll feel awful pain, but he'll survive death, and when he's fully healed, boom, another near death."

"Damn, any chance you can toss in blue balls too?"

"Sure."

"Oh this is gonna be good!"

"Aaaah, why do my testicles feel so painful!?"

"Hahahahaha!"

"Karma bitch!" Shouted Morgan before closing the window.

"Is it wrong that I enjoyed that a little too much?"

"Nah, you're just cleaning up this town of it's trash. People love a clean house."

"Good enough for my conscience."

They sat on the couch again.

"So now that we know that loophole to Nang Tani, wanna go out on a date?" Asked Morgan.

"I don't know, not sure if you look cool enough to take a gal like me out on a night of the town." she teased looking away while crossing her arms.

"That's what I get for getting my hopes up."

"Kidding." she chuckled with a smirk. "You're so gullible."

"Well I was thinking I was taking things too fast since we haven't known each other for that long."

"Relax, it'd be too fast if you tried to sleep with me."

"Okay...later tonight, there's this movie I've been wanting to see but I don't wanna go alone because I don't wanna get judged for being a lonely loser at the movie theater."

"Deal."

Later...

"Good thing my hoodies and pants are your size." Said Morgan as they got to their seats and started watching previews. "I'm not that bothered if others see me for me."

"The cops won't be so happy to see a woman barely wearing anything."

"Oh right."

Then the first preview started.

"Coming soon, a Kadokawa mega crossover movie!"

Morgan stopped eating his popcorn as he saw the preview.

A familiar couple was about to get hit with a missile, but then were saved.

"Who are you?" Asked Akiho Kousaka.

"Me? You may refer to me as Ainz Ooal Gown!"

Then in another scene.

"GET READY FOR SUPLEX CITY!" Shouted Genzou Shibata!

"What's going on here?" Asked Renton Thurston.

"Well simply put, monsters from some MMO are attacking and we need to delete that MMO for good." Replied Stocking.

"What's it called?" He asked.

"Sword Art Online."

Coming Soon: Let's Kill Sword Art Online the Movie.

"That looks...something."

Then another preview.

"Coming soon, you what else is coming soon? My mom!" Said Muscle Man dressed like Iron Man!

Then we see Skips as Hulk, Rigby as Rocket Raccoon, and a random close up of Garret Bobby Ferguson.

"You will be fired! It is inevitable!" Shouted Benson dressed as Thanos.

"You know who else is inevitable?" Asked Muscle Man.

Regular Show: End Game! Coming Fall!

'What is with all these weird movies?' Asked Kamon.

'Wow, so many awesome movies.' Thought Morgan.

Then the Movie they went to see started.

"You knew we were meant to be, what made you run from such a destiny?"

"Because I knew it would put you in danger!"

"My father hated my guts since I was born! Not like he'll ever find common ground with me! So what if I marry the daughter of his arch enemies?"

'Hmm...strange plot but I love that they're trying to do some modern take on Romeo and Juliet...oh crap, are these 2 gonna be killed at the end?' Thought Kamon. 'Great, this movie just got predictable.'

Later...

"There's nothing left we can do...there's no way to shut it off..."

"What can we do now?"

"Nothing...nothing but brace for it."

Then the couple hugged.

"Hahahahahahhahaha!" Laughed a man bleeding out in the corner. "I win..."

'Okay...I didn't expect a Doomsday Machine, well played movie.' She thought.

"Now you both will die!"

"At least we'll die fucking." Then the couple started stripping.

'Must put hand on dick.' Thought Morgan.

'Oh my god.' Thought Kamon. 'They actually allowed that?'

"If there's any parents who dragged their kids to this, shame on you for not heeding the rating of this movie." Said the bad guy. "You know they didn't wanna go with you. You know they wanted to see Saturday night cartoons or play video games. Should've just gotten that sitter or sent them to that sleepover."

Then the bad guy died as the Doomsday Machine was at its last 20 seconds.

"Hurry! Disarm it!" Panicked the best friend characters.

"Didn't you hear me?" Said the protagonist.

"It's no use." Said the love interest.

"So we may as well just enjoy our last seconds like how I'm about jizz inside my love."

"I can feel your dick too, hope you can beat that clock."

"Let's both work at it!"

'Oh my god, I wonder if Morgan is jacking o-yep he is.' She thought, looking over to him, seeing him panting.

'Damn...that was hot.' He said as the Doomsday Machine blew up.

"I love you." The main couple whispers as the world is destroyed!

"Booo! This movie sucks!" Shouted 1 person and then the others started booing. Morgan and Kamon got before everyone was throwing their tubs of popcorn.

"So...why would you wanna go to a bad movie?"

"I was told of the sex scene so I wanted to go see it."

"You do know there's free porn, right?"

"I know, but watching it on a big movie screen like that? I won't see that often."

"You got a point there."

As they turned a corner, Morgan then bumped into someone.

"Oof! Sor-" He paused.

"You better be sor-Morgan? Hey there buddy...glad to see yah finally coming out of your home." said a brunette lady in a blue jacket and black pants.

"Ruth..." He replied coldly.

'I sense hate towards this girl, a shame I can't curse women.' Thought Kamon.

"What are you doing here?"

"He's on a date with me."

"Oh, hello, you're Morgan's girlfriend?"

"Yep, I'm Kamon. His girlfriend and roommate."

"Well, despite being flat like a wall, you totally nabbed a cutie."

"..."

"Well, it was great seeing you again, have a great night." Ruth teased while making hand gestures.

When she was out of sight...

"Was she involved in whatever past you don't wanna tell me about?"

"Yup...not sure why she's trying to be friendly...not like I'll forgive her..."

"Want me to throw a rock at her?"

"No...she was just a small part of that day..."

"Okay, and also...on our next date, can we go somewhere I can show off my body?"

"I know a beach nearby."

"Sweet, you can rub suntan lotion on me and I can curse the beach bullies who think they can mess with you."

Morgan then blushed from the thought. "Yeah...that does sound good."

"There's a smile." Then she hugged him. "So when's our beach date?"

"Next week, tomorrow's gonna have crazy storms."

"Then it's settled."

"Yep."

The next day...

Thunder and lightning cracked making Kamon jump.

"Yipe!" She grabbed onto Morgan who was next to her on the couch.

"Scared of thunder and lightning?"

"Yeah, a lot of trees because of lightning."

"Because they could split apart down the middle?"

"Yeah, why are trees always targets?!" she cried out. "They didn't do anything to anybody!"

"Not sure why, but hey, your newest tree is indoors."

"Yeah, thanks for comforting me." Then she pecked his cheek.

"Well guess we're gonna have to cancel our beach trip."

"Sure."

"Okay, the town's news is very stupid, might find some guys I need you to curse."

"Yay."

"Welcome to the news, I am your anchor Wolverine St. Jack John. We have breaking news, our correspondent...I don't really care about this bitch's name, she's always striking me for no reason, she's on the scene right now to cover the story, bitch?"

"Ba-scuse me? Whatcha just say to me?"

"Evelyn Masters, can we not do this now?" Asked the cameraman.

"Fine, I'll kick his ass when I get back." Then she went from ghetto to proper and polite. "Anyways as you can see we have some local skaters who have erected a ramp to launch themselves into the bay in the hopes of the storm hitting them with a bolt of lightning."

"Oh dear god is that stupid."

"I know, hopefully the guy who keeps beating my sister with a skateboard will appear."

"What!?"

"You heard me. An abusive boyfriend who beats my sis with a skateboard."

"What the hell!?"

"Here I go!" Said a guy with a tie dye shirt.

"Oh, there he is! Curse him!"

"Hmph, wanna be caught by lightning midair? How's about I make it strike thrice every day for the rest of your life!?" she snapped her fingers before he took off down the ramp.

He was launched off and then...

"Gaaaaah!"

The skateboarders cheered.

"Gaaaaaaah!"

"Whoa, what are the-"

"Gaaaaaaaah!"

"Thrice in midair, dude what a legend!" Said a skateboarder with blonde dreadlocks.

"Hahahahahah!" Morgan then called his sister. "Hey sis, karma finally came to that bastard of yours!"

"I know, I saw!" Replied a weak voice. "Did you have anything to do with that?"

"Maybe..."

"Thank you...thank you."

"Now she won't get beat and hopefully stand up for herself."

"And the best part, the curse will ignore indoors or submarines."

"Damn! Ever thought about selling your services?"

"Nope, and besides I don't need money, I live in a tree."

That's when a knocking came to the door.

"Pizza guy."

"Oh great, it's this misogynist."

"What has he done?"

"Charge women extra. My sis visited and was gonna charge her extra before I told him this was my house and she was visiting."

"Why are there so many men mean to women in this town?"

"I dunno, this town was fine until all the misogynists moved here."

"Did he ask for sex if she couldn't pay?"

"Of course he did."

"Ugh! Okay, I'll get the curse ready, lemme open the door." she hopped over to the door and opened it up. "Yes?"

"Hello ma'am." Said a dull voice, different from the happy one that was knocking. "That'll be 45 dollars."

"That much for a pizza?"

"Yeah..."

"Okay, but how's about a tip first?" She snapped her fingers and all of a sudden the building shook!

"What was that?"

"My boyfriend told me about what you did. Sounds like you could use a gal to whip some manners into you."

"What? But I'm just doing my job!"

"Charging extra when a girl is at the door in the hopes of getting your dick sucked? That isn't doing your job." That's when a muscular woman appeared wearing a uniform similar to the pizza guy's.

"What the fuck?"

"Hey, I'm the new employee."

"New employee?" That's when the pizza guy's phone rang. "Hello?"

"Hey Felix, meet Death, she'll be going with you on deliveries from now own."

"Death? What kinda dumb name is-" Then Felix saw the glistening muscles on Death.

"So Felix, I heard you're pretty mean to women..."

"Uh..."

"I'll fix that attitude, but after you get the money."

"Uh..." then he turned to Kamon. "That'll be 20 bucks."

"Thaaank, you." She took the pizza and gave him the money. "Have a good day."

He nodded before Death dragged him off by the back of his shirt.

"Whoa..."

"I know." Then she pecked his cheek.

"That was badass!"

"I know." Then Kamon pecked Morgan's cheek again.

"At the rate we're going this town will finally be more peaceful." Then they ate their pizza as the rain raged even harder outside.

Next week...

"Yay! Beach!" Cheered Kamon. "How come I don't see many people?"

"Oh, nobody knows about this beach, it's a secret place." Morgan explained. "Only Rod, my family and a few of the building tenants know about this beach."

"I can tell, the water looks so clean and no trash anywhere!"

"Damn straight, we're no litter bugs. So, wanna meet some decent human beings?"

"Finally, aside from Rod, all you've shown me was trash."

First stop was the docks.

"Here's our building manager Kole and his brother Blaine." He said pointing to 2 skinny dark skinned men in striped swim trunks.

"Hey, I've seen you around before." Said Blaine.

"You have?" Said Kamon.

"Yeah, you probably didn't see me but I was watching the same movie as you guys."

"You don't mean that in a stalkerish way right?"

"No, I was in one of the seats and you passed by me." He explained.

"Oh thank god. I've seen way too many stalkers."

"In anycase, nice to meet you, I'm Kole the building manager. Hope you take good care of Morgan."

"I will, he's a great guy."

Next stop is the hotdog stand...

"Here's one of our neighbors, Kenan."

"Hallo! I am Kenan!" Said the Green haired guy with light skin and black speedo.

"That's quite the deep voice..."

"Are you Morgan's girlfriend?"

"Yes."

"Are you a Nang Tani?"

"How'd you know?"

"Banana Leaf clothing and you're floating above the sand right now."

"Most people assume I'm some weird ghost."

"Nah, I can tell the difference."

"Oh, that's right. Kenan has a hobby. He's absolutely crazy about monster girls studying up on each and everyone out there..."

"Uh huh! I'm practically a professor."

"Okay, that's pretty cool." Said Kamon. "What sort of topics do you focus on?"

"Everything! People might mistake me for an Anthropologist because I tend to go off on a tangent and learn everything about the place of origin for each monster girl."

"He's literally a man of culture." Morgan joked.

Kamon and Kenan then laughed at that remark.

"Well I gotta go, the mermaids' migration patterns suggest they're about to take a break by those rocks!" Then Kenan ran off.

Next stop, Morgan and Kamon were sharing a surfboard as some other surfer was right next to them.

"Alright dudes, just keep your balance and don't go crashing into the water."

"Right on Burt!"

"This is kinda f-" Kamon then shut up after a shark jumped over them! "Shit..."

"Okay, outta the water dudes!" Then the shark jumped out, turned into a mershark and then dragged Burt away!

"Burt! No!"

"Is he gonna be okay?"

"Yeah, he dies every week and comes back...somehow..."

"He does?!"

"It's fine, he uses this as a life insurance loophole and invites everyone for a chicken dinner afterwards."

"Mmmh...chicken. So why did you get so dramatic seeing him die if this is a normal thing?"

"I wanted to scare you." He said with a smug face.

"Jerk." Then she flicked his forehead.

And so they spent the day having fun. Building a sandcastle, only to tear it down while roaring like giant monsters. Helping one of the neighbors collect oysters. Then finally enjoyed some barbeque as the sun sets...

"Wow...what a great view of the sun going down." Said Kamon.

"Yeah...the more crowded places would be too loud to enjoy it. Like this..." Then Morgan sighed. "The last time I enjoyed a time like this, it was with...a former crush..."

"Ooooh...am I like her in any way?"

"No way, you are leagues beyond what she was." He sighed sadly. "A lot better..."

"Okay, I've been getting a lot of clues to your past and I tried to not pry, but now I just wanna know because it's annoying me!" Kamon ranted before grabbing Morgan and dragged him away.

"Woah! Hey what are you doing?"

"We are gonna talk about this and you better explain or else."

"Okay, let's talk back at the apartment."

Later...

"Speak, what's with this dark past? Why were you unfriendly with that girl? How come Rod can't be in video game tournaments anymore? Who's your first crush?"

"Okay...I'll tell you everything." Then he turned around. "A girl I loved named Chizuru...she was very sweet...I sadly never got to tell her how I felt. She helped me out a whole lot, we were best friends...and then just like that...she suddenly fell ill and had to go to a hospital. I'd go visit her every day seeing how she was doing. Rod cared a whole lot. However our friends, including Ruth were apparently getting tired of it..."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah...they...they..." Then started crying.

"They what?"

"They made me think that Chizuru wanted someone to pull the plug on her life support machine."

"No...how did they..."

"That will come later...so anyways...she begged me to do it, put her out of her misery...I tried talking her out of it, but she insisted so I did..."

"No..."

"The worst part, the doctor told me she was gonna make it in a week's time..."

"No..."

"The end of the story is when Rod overheard what Ruth and the others did. Torturing Chizuru to make her beg for death...Rod was enraged and beat them all up! A fan saw Rod do this and then posted it to social media sites not understanding what happened. From that point on, Rod got banned from videogame tournaments."

"That's...heartless!"

"I killed a woman and Rod beat up some people including some women...that's probably why you and Gun appeared...so now that you know...you can curse me..."

"Are you crazy?!" she yelled, making him jump. "I'm not cursing you!" Then she ran over and hugged him.

"But...I took a life."

"You were tricked into doing it...you'll be spared. The only guilty ones are Ruth and these 'friends'..."

"How will we make them regret what they did? You saw Ruth, she didn't even look sorry when we saw her."

"Oh believe me, when I want to, I can get very twisted with my curses."

"Wait, but I thought you couldn't curse women."

"When we're through she'll feel like she's been cursed, now let's go buy some bananas, a gorilla costume and a bunch of wood and straw."

"Uh...ok."

Later...it's night Morgan meets Ruth in the middle of the street.

"Okay...so...you wanna accept my apology now?" Said Ruth with some others.

"Yes...I've realized how much of a bore Chizuru was..." Morgan said, cringing under his breath. "Now I have my loving Kamon...just hope you don't pull the same bs in case she gets critically ill because I'll finish the job Rod started."

"Never again, I just want my friend back, I promise."

That's when rustling trash cans in a dark alley were heard.

"What was that?" Said Morgan pretending to panic.

"Okay start throwing the bananas." Rod whispered to Gun.

"Right." with that she started hurling out the bananas.

Ruth and the others were getting hit with bananas.

"What's going on here?" Asked Ruth.

"Nothing really, I just lured you here because I'm still spiteful. This part of town has a curse on it and will choose the truly wicked."

"What kind of curse?"

That's when a gorilla costume stuffed with straw appeared and was carrying a wooden plank.

"The curse of Gogo. Animal Control shot him dead and now his ghost haunts this place." Morgan explained. "Get her Gogo!"

"Wait! Uh...how do we lift the curse?"

"You must move to the next-next town, the ghost of Gogo reaches very very far."

"Yeah right, if there is a curse, then let's see the gorilla actually hurt me!" Said one of the guys. Then Kamon made the costume smack him with a hand filled with wood! "Ow! The ghost is real!"

"Now get lost."

"RUN!"

That's when everyone emerged from the darkness of the night all laughing.

"You think they'll really get outta town?" Asked Rod.

"If they don't, I have more ideas." Said Kamon.

"Thanks Kamon, there's still a few more jerks in town, but really...thanks."

"I'll always be here for you Morgan. You have nothing to worry about."

Then Morgan and Kamon closed their eyes before pressing their lips together.


	26. Chapter 26

List of oneshots part 4

chapter 26

Sequel to chapter 182 in part 3

Reminder: Yui and Trahzo play yugioh to try and stop the Machine King.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

"Wait, did that just say part 2?" Asked Yui. "Oh fucking come on, can I at least cum all over my wife and daughter before the-"

"Nope." Said the author as explosions were heard in the background.

"Of all the ways to give me blue balls...I am pissed!" growled Yui. "I am going to get you back for this, times ten!"

"Aw man, and on the day Daddy said he was gonna get us both pregnant." Pouted Cynthia.

"There there sweetie, I'm sure it'll happen one day soon." Marisa assured her.

They got their clothes on and then exited the sleazy motel they were in to see dark skies, explosions and people running from Machine Type Monsters.

"Alright gang, time to make some scrap metal."

That's when the screens showed a robot. "Hello flesh sacks, I am The Machine King! Now that I am at full power, time has come for you all to die!"

"This guy again?" Said Marisa.

"To Yui and his family, your savage warrior minion may have bested me last time, but this time will be different! You merely defeated my prototype!"

"I knew it!" called Yui. "I tried to say it before, but that WASN'T the real Machine King! I should know, I binge watched the shit out of the first Yugioh and knew that was a farce!"

"Now as you all perish, I shall put this last message on loop." Then the Machine King pressed a button. "I'm here to make an announcement, Yui is a bitch ass motherfucker, he pissed on my fucking plans and he said his dick was 'this big' and I said that's disgusting. So guess what? I'm gonna piss all over your corpses after I destroy this universe, because Yui couldn't leave me alone! Yeah, your graves will not be respected, they will be desecrated because fuck Yui!"

"Okay, putting a rant geared towards me on loop, that's a dick move." frowned Yui. "And reminds me of something youtube related, but I have no idea what."

That's when some robots attacked them!

"Look out!" They dodged an attack from Psycho Bounder and started running as numerous Meklords joined in chasing them!

"Marisa! Take Cynthia and run ahead! I'll try and smash them!"

"But daddy..."

"No complaints, I'll catch up!"

"Okay...kick their shiny metal asses!"

Yui turned around and got ready to fight back! "Come get some!" Then he fired off a powerful blast, destroying them all! "Phew, that was a close one." Then he turned and ran to catch up with Cynthia and Marisa!

10 minutes later he found them, but they were cornered by Cyber End Dragon!

"Oh crap! Girls!"

"Daddy!"

"Hey King Ghidorah knock off! Get away from my family!"

That's when Cyber End Dragon started charging an attack, but that's when...

"Allies of Justice, stop that attack!" Called out a familiar voice!

Then suddenly the Ally of Justice archetype appeared and attacked Cyber End Dragon. The heads tried blasting at them while swatting them with its tail.

"Hey guys!"

"Trahzo! Phew, was worried you weren't gonna show."

"Of course I showed up, now let's go! The Allies of Justice archetype can only hold them off for so long before they get mind controlled by the Machine King again."

With that they took off running down an alley.

"So, any other armies you managed to round up?" Asked Yui.

"Yep, but we're gonna need to get a teleportation device I stashed somewhere in this town to get those guys." Replied Trahzo.

"Why would you stash it away and not keep it on you?"

"Not enough room in my pockets."

"Sure, that's what they all say."

Trahzo rolled his eyes at that before making it to an abandoned warehouse. "Hopefully my ally has been keeping it safe."

"Your ally?"

"Kozaky."

"Kozaky? Dude, he's an evil scientist in the game, he's probably working for the Machine King!" frowned Yui. "Do you not know a single thing on yugioh card lore? Cause if not, oh boy, do I have some youtube channels to give to you."

"Daddy, his first duel was back in part one of this, of course he doesn't know the lore." Said Cynthia.

"You got a point." Replied Yui.

"Welp, we better get ready for a duel, and when I say we better get ready, I mean Cynthia better get ready for a duel." Said Trahzo.

"What!? Why me?"

"Remember sweetie? You wanted to help." reminded Yui.

"Yes, I'm curious to see how you duel." Said Trahzo before kicking the door open! "Kozaky! I was informed of you being evil, you better get ready for a beat down from the most adorable girl ever."

"Trahzo? Me evil? How silly." chuckled the obviously sinister scientist.

That's when a Jinzo #7 jumped out from the shadows only to get shot up then blown up by Trahzo!

"Nice try, not gut punching me like last time."

"Okay you caught me, but I guess that just means it's time for you all to die! Muahaha!" He laughed while putting on a duel disk!

"Guess that's my cue!" smiled Cynthia walking forward and tried making sure her new duel disk was on right. "Uh, how do I turn it on again daddy?"

"It turns on as soon as it's on your arm sweetheart." Said Yui.

"Shouldn't we be concerned? These duels despite no visible injuries cause real pain." Said Marisa.

"Cynthia is a slime, which can take all sorts of hits."

"I know, but I'm worried that she'll feel real genuine pain."

Both sides were now ready to duel.

Cynthia: 4000

Kozaky: 4000

Kozaky's hand: 6

"I'll start us off!" Said Kozaky. "I summon...heh heh...who else? Myself, Kozaky!"

Kozaky: ATK 400/DEF 400

A look-alike of himself appeared with a laugh.

"Then I activate the spell Double Summon to normal summon another monster. I summon Giant Kozaky!"

A giant mech of said scientist rose up with several weapons on robotic appendages.

Giant Kozaky: ATK 2500/DEF 2400

"Then I put a card face down and end my turn."

"Someone's in love with themselves." Trahzo mocked.

Cynthia's hand: 6

Cynthia looked at her hand and scratched her head. "Hmmm."

"You got this baby!" Yui cheered.

"Remember your training, you can do this!" Cheered Marisa.

"After she kicks your ass in this duel, I'm gonna kick your ass physically Kozaky!" Said Trahzo. "You can do this Cynthia!"

"Oh! I summon Acid Slime!"

What looked like a small amoeba-like creature with four blue limbs and a red mouth appeared on the field.

Acid Slime: ATK/800 DEF: 100

"I saw that coming! I activate my face down spell, Creature Swap! Now I shall swap my Giant me with your Acid Slime!"

Then both monsters switched places.

"Now I activate Giant Kozaky's effect! Since you don't have a face up Kozaky, Giant Kozaky self-destructs and the current owner takes damage equal to Giant Kozaky's attack!"

That's when Giant Kozaky blew up in Cynthia's face!

"Uwaaaaaah!" Cynthia wailed in pain!

Cynthia: 1500

"I knew she would feel pain!"

"I'm such a genius, now finish your turn so I can finish you off!"

"Oh screw you Kozaky! Our darling little girl won't lose so easily to a creep like you!" Yui ranted.

Cynthia looked at her hand while looking nervous and sweating droplets of slime. She rubbed her chin before perking up and smiled. "Alright, technically since I normal summoned this turn, I can't do it again, right?"

"Right." Said everyone else.

"Which means I can special summon!"

"What!?" Gasped Kozaky.

"Atta girl!" Cheered Yui.

"I'll use Polymerization to fuse Humanoid Slime and King of the Swamps from my hand! And I can with King because he can be substituted for one monster in a fusion summon."

That's when a hologram mixing spoon appeared and Cynthia grabbed it and then used it to mix together the gooey bodies of Humanoid Slime and King of the Swamp.

"I fusion summon, Humanoid Worm Drake!"

Humanoid Worm Drake: ATK 2200/DEF 2000.

The monster let out a gurtled roar with Cynthia beaming.

"And that's how I'll end my turn."

"Hmph! I draw!"

Kozaky's hand: 3

"I sacrifice both Acid Slime and myself to tribute summon a monster face down."

"It was a pleasure, real me."

"I'll probably see you again card me. Now I end my turn."

"My turn!"

Cynthia's hand: 3

"I'll summon my own monster in face down defense, and have my fusion attack yours!"

"Was hoping for it." Said Kozaky.

Humanoid Worm Drake struck the face down! That's when it revealed Slot Machine!

Slot Machine: ATK 2000/DEF 2300

"You know what happens when a monster attacks another with higher defense, right?"

"Uh...they get destroyed?"

"No, you take damage but your monster isn't destroyed." Replied Trahzo.

"Oh..."

Then Slot Machine spat a coin at Cynthia!

"Ow!"

Cynthia: 1400

"Don't worry Cynthia! You're still in the game!" called Yui waving a banner with his daughter's face on it.

Cynthia then looked at her hand, seeing if she had anything to take care of this monster before Kozaky could try something again. "Uh...I'll put one card face down, and end my turn."

"Keep it up!" called Yui, now with a foam finger.

Then Kozaky drew a card.

Kozaky's hand: 3

"The more you delay the inevitable, the more I have fun with hurting you! I use the spell card Fireball!"

Then a fireball hit Cynthia!

Cynthia: 900

"And I end my turn, I can't wait for you to summon a monster, because the trap I jave waiting will destroy all your hopes of victory."

Cynthia growled and drew.

Cynthia's hand: 2

"Who says I'm summoning a monster?"

"What!?"

Then Cynthia activated a spell card! "I use Brain Control! By giving up 800 life points, I can take one of your monsters!"

Cynthia: 100

Then Slot Machine was on Cynthia's side.

"And now I switch Slot Machine to attack mode!"

"Uh oh..." Said Kozaky.

"Go! Attack him together you two!"

Humanoid Worm Drake and Slot Machine then finished him off! Humanoid Worm Drake impaling him! Slot Machine burying him in gold coins!

"Aaaaaaaah!"

Kozaky: 0

Then when the duel ended, Trahzo charged at Kozaky!

"This one is for the real nerds! Rider Kick!"

"Oh shit!" Screamed Kozaky before being knocked out by a boot to the head!

"Okay, now let's get our backup!" Said Trahzo. "This portal shall summon the entire HERO Mega Archetype!"

"Oh joy."

That's when 2 figures appeared.

"It's Elemental HERO Sparkman and Destiny HERO - Diamond Dude!"

"Hey there Trahzo!" Sparkman greeted. "It's gonna take a while for all of us to come through this small portal."

"Understood." Then Trahzo turned to the others. "Hey Yui, they'll catch up with us in a bit, let's go on ahead, I saw where the Machine King's Castle is located!"

"Then lead!" he proclaimed, somehow on a saddle, on Trahzo's back. "Onward my mighty steed!"

Trahzo bucked Yui off of him. "You're not a kid, get off me!"

"Then can I ride you?" Asked Cynthia in a child form.

"...fine, since you won the duel..."

"Yay!" She got on his back and with haste, they ran to the Machine King's lair!

Some time later...they stand before a castle in the middle of a wasteland.

"Okay, time to get offa uncle Trahzo."

"Awww..." Then she got off.

"Don't worry sweetheart, daddy will give you a much better ride after we win."

"Oh big time~"

That's when a sandstorm came! Everyone closed their eyes! Eventually the sandstorm stopped and everyone opened their eyes which were met with a gigantic armada of machines.

"That's a lot of robots." Said Marissa. "I'd say 60,000 for each of us."

"Bring 'em on!" Said Cynthia.

Trahzo and Yui both exchanged glances and nodded before all 4 charged at the large army! They fought hard and fast but there were too many! They then got smacked away before someone used a Full Salvo to make them fly even further back!

"Well, that was a bad idea." Said Trahzo.

"Yes, but you managed to buy enough time." Said a voice.

They all looked back to see the cavalry has arrived.

"What took you so long?" asked Yui.

"Get a bigger portal next time." Said Xtra Hero Infernal Devicer.

"Or maybe you need to lose a few pounds."

"Oh crap, the heroes are here! I thought the Machine King and Kozaky sealed them away!" Said Ancient Gear Ballista.

"You have Trahzo to thank for getting us out!" Said Elemental HERO Neos.

"You guys better start running because we're here to save everyone!" Said Vision HERO Faris.

"Don't falter or it's the scrapyard for us!" spoke an Ancient Gear Soldier.

"So Yui, ready for round 2?"

"You bet I am! Let's go!"

All the heroes then charged forward!

Elemental Hero Bubbleman used Bubble Blaster to scatter a few of the robots!

Sparkman used his Spark Blaster to zap several up.

That's when Elemental HERO Flame Wingman blasted a clear path! Giving the 4 a way to the castle.

"Let's go guys!" Shouted Trahzo.

They rushed past the carnage and into the double doors!

That's when Elemental HERO Clayman and Destiny HERO Double Dude crushed a robot's head when both of their fists slammed at either side, meeting in the middle!

And cue Burstinatrix melting several of them with flames.

Then we see Elemental HERO Necroshade grab one of the robots with one hand before tearing off the head of said robot! Then we see 3 Hero Kids grab a medium sized robot, lifting it into the air before dropping it, giving Destiny HERO - Fear Monger a clear shot!

And cue Destiny HERO - Dasher zipping by and knocking several over like bowling pins.

Then Elemental HERO Rampart Blaster and Evil HERO Infernal Sniper stood back to back, blasting away even more!

"Oh crap! Guys, I'm being overwhelmed here and my Bubble Blaster is out of ammo!" Called Bubbleman.

"We're a bit busy here!" Replied Vision HERO Faris.

It looked like the end for Bubbleman, but that's when powerful streams of bubbles, more powerful than Bubbleman's regular bubbles zipped by and took out the robots!

"What in the...Neo Bubbleman?!"

"Hey there, me." Replied Elemental HERO Neo Bubbleman.

"B-but I thought you were gone forever after the spell card Metamorphosis was banned."

"Hmph, Trahzo wanted to make sure we were all available, bans be damned! Now let's fight together and end this war!"

"Why do I feel like this stuff belongs in a spin-off?" questioned Yui.

"Probably your imagination." Trahzo replied as they entered the castle. "Well, that was an awesome thing to watch, but let's get going, we have a robotic overlord to deactivate!"

"Agreed." nodded Marisa.

They ran through hallways, and stairs, and more hallways and stairs...and more hallways and stairs until they made it to the throne room, all panting and tired.

"Too...many...stairs!" Complained all of them...except Trahzo who drank from his bottle of water.

"Man, you all are lightweights." He told them. "You should make a note to take a water bottle with you incase we have to do things like this."

"I have a better idea." Said Yui. "Cynthia?"

"On it daddy!" That's when Cynthia jumped down Yui's pants and then spread all over under his clothes and her head popped out to french kiss him.

"Don't get TOO excited you two." spoke Marisa.

That's when Cynthia jumped out and then got all over Marisa with her head reforming and giving Marisa french kisses.

"Hey Trahzo, why's your back turned?" Asked Yui.

"Incest makes me uncomfortable."

"Really? THAT makes you uncomfortable?"

"My parents and older sister spent thier nights fucking, my sister tried inviting me...they basically became my first mur...uh, let's just stop the Machine King."

"Wait, first mur-what?" Asked Marisa.

"It's a story for another day!" He shouted.

All 3 were silent for a bit before following him to the Machine King's throne. When they got there they saw the place was filled with gears.

"Huh, nice clockwerk, can't wait to jam them with dud grenades." Said Trahzo.

"Welcome to my castle you foolish living creatures!" called the REAL Machine King on his throne. "It seems my minions failed to end you."

"Gee really?" remarked Yui sarcastically. "I had NO idea."

"No matter, with this giant portal, I'll be able to call upon versions of myself from other worlds! I have an infinite army that you will never defeat!"

"Wow, that is a huge portal, wish I had that first time around." Said Trahzo.

"Now, which of you shall duel me for the fate of all worlds?"

Then all 4 huddle up.

"Okay who wants to go?" Asked Trahzo. "Not Marisa, I seriously doubt you have a deck."

"Wow, someone is in a big mood today to be disrespecting my wife." Said Yui. "You never dated much did you?"

"I don't need dating or sex in my life, although I would like to try at least once."

"Figures that your blood lust would replace regular lust." Said Yui

"So who's gonna duel the Machine King?"

"I'm waiting!"

"I'll do it!" Said Yui. "I'm gonna show this overgrown pile of junk you do NOT try to cop out from me in a duel."

"So, the perverted one shall be my victim."

"How'd you know I'm the perverted one?"

"My castle's security cameras."

"I KNEW someone was watching me."

"You can do this daddy!"

"If you win we can do one of the many things I keep saying no to." Said Marisa.

"Oh, that just motivates me more to kick your ass!" Said Yui, readying his duel disk.

'Keep him distracted Yui, I'm gonna demolish this portal so his infinite supply of soldiers gets cut-off.' Thought Trahzo, sneaking away.

Machine King: 4000

Yui: 4000

"Since I'm such a nice guy, I'll let you go first 'king'."

"Foolish idiot." Then he drew. "I summon Machine King Prototype!"

Machine King Prototype: ATK 1600/ DEF 1500

"A blast from the past." Yui remarked.

"I will then put down two face downs and end my turn."

"This is for interrupting me as I was about to impregnate my wife and daughter!" Then Yui drew a card.

'I really wanna forget he said that.' Thought Trahzo.

Yui's hand: 6

"I'll go ahead and show you what I got! I activate the spell Valhalla, Hall of the Fallen! Once per turn I can special summon a fairy from my hand if I don't have any monsters, and I'm bringing out Splendid Venus!"

Splendid Venus: ATK 2800/ DEF 2400

"Any spell or trap cards I activate while she's on the field can't be negated, and all monsters that aren't fairies lose 500 attack and defense points."

"Well played."

"Now Splendid Venus, give that Prototype a 2nd death!"

The woman held her staff up before it glowed and hurled out an orb at the machine.

"I activate my facedown!" he held his hand out. "Dimensional Wall!"

Splendid Venus' attack then struck Yui from behind!

"D'oh!"

Yui: 2300

"Daddy!"

'Dammit Yui! I'm nowhere near this portal's controls yet.' Thought Trahzo.

"Lucky shot!"

"You still got this!" Said Marisa. "Don't let him get to you!"

"I don't know what else I should be doing, so I'll end my turn."

"As you should organic. My draw."

Machine King's Hand: 4

"I was hoping to not use organic themed cards like this, but I need my Prototype back for your demise. I activate Monster Reborn, bringing back Machine King Prototype, so I can sacrifice Machine King Prototype and Tribute Summon myself!"

Machine King: Attack 2200/ Defence 2000

"And then Splendid Venus' effect makes you lose 500 Attack and Defense, not like you had enough to hit her in the first place!"

Machine King: Attack 1700/ Defense 1500

"I activate my own effect, it gains 100 Attack for each machine type on the field!"

Machine King: Attack 1800/ Defense 1500

"Now I activate the spell, Limiter Removal! Doubling my attack points!"

Machine King: Attack 3600/Defense 1500!

"Now attack!"

The Machine King then threw a punch so hard it made a giant gaping hole through Splendid Venus!

"Gyaaaaaaaah!"

Yui: 800

"I end my turn, and now that it's the end of my turn, I must bid farewell to myself, at least for now."

And then the Machine King on the field exploded!

'Wow that was bad, but now he's...sorta wide open. Hopefully he won't activate that other face down.' Thought Trahzo.

"Daddy, I hate seeing you in pain!"

"Don't worry sweetie, I'm part masochist! At least...I think so."

'Ugh, so did he enjoy getting shot?' Trahzo thought, disgusted.

Yui's hand: 5

"Alright, time to show you what fairies can do. I'll use Valhalla to special summon a new one from my hand, and I'll pick Athena!"

Athena: Attack 2600/ Defense 800.

"And I'll put down a face down before ending my turn."

"My draw!"

Machine King's Hand: 2

"First I activate my other face down! Jar of Greed, allowing me to draw another card!"

Machine King's Hand: 3

"I special summon Cyber Dragon!"

Cyber Dragon: Attack 2100/ Defense 1600

"Now I use the spell Iron Call! Return, Machine King!"

Machine King: Attack 2200/ Defense 2000

"And now I sacrifice my ultimate form! I TRIBUTE SUMMON PERFECT MACHINE KING!"

Perfect Machine King: Attack 2700/ Defense 1500

"Hahahahahahah, you can summon as many fairies as you want, you're just delaying my victory!"

"Oh please, that's nothing short of a Gundam knock off." mocked Yui.

"Hahahah...AHAHAHAH...AAHHAHHAHAHAHA!" That's when the castle started rumbling!

"What now?" Said all 4.

All the Heroes and Robots all then took notice! The entire top half broke apart and merged with The Machine King, bathing him in a white light! Once the light faded...The Machine King was now Perfect Machine King!

"Seriously?!"

"Now then me, attack Athena!"

The large monster opened up its shoulders before launching a volley of missiles. "Cower in fear as your heroes lose!"

"I activate my trap card! Waboku!"

A bunch of hooded priests completely halted the attack!

"What!?"

"Great job Daddy!" Cheered Cynthia.

"You can do this darling!" Cheered Marisa.

"It's too late because here they come, my reinforcements!"

Then 100's upon thousands of silhouettes appeared.

"No...they aren't coming." Said Trahzo.

"What!?"

A bunch of C4's were stuck to the control pad of the portal. That's when Trahzo detonated them! Destroying the portal and cutting off The Machine King's infinite army from alternate universes!

"Noooooooo!"

"His turn's over Yui, finish him off!" Trahzo shouted.

"Right!...how do I do that?" He asked, before he drew a card.

That made everyone face fault, Perfect Machine King included.

"That draw better be our means of victory or I'm gonna...dammit, forgot you're immortal." Said Trahzo.

Yui's hand: 4

"It's time to send you to the scrap." smirked Yui. "I activate Sanctuary in the Sky!"

That's when the world around them transformed where it was all sky except for the ancient looking sanctuary they were standing on!

"And with it I don't take damage involving fairies, now taste Solidarity!"

"Nice, with that card, Athena will get a boosted 800 attack points because Yui only has fairy types in his grave!" Trahzo explained.

"I can do my own explanations, thank you very much." Said Yui.

Athena: Attack 3400/ Defense 800

"And now I'll normal summon The Agent of Creation Venus!"

Agent of Creation - Venus: Attack 1600/ Defense 0

And then Solidarity powered up Venus!

Agent of Creation - Venus: Attack 2400/ Defense 0

"Next I'll use her effect! I pay 500 life points and summon one Mystical Shine Ball from my deck!"

Yui: 300.

Mystic Shine Ball: Attack 500/ Defense 500.

Then Solidarity went off again!

Mystic Shine Ball: Attack 1300/ Defense 500.

"Alright everyone, kick his ass!"

First Athena attacked the Perfect Machine King! Destroying him!

Machine King: 3300.

Then Venus's turn!

Machine King 900.

And finally, Mystic Shine Ball jumped into Yui's hand and Yui pitched the ball with all his might!

"Wait! This isn't in my data! It wasn't supposed to-!"

Machine King: -900.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Shouted Machine King before he self-destructed!

"You did it daddy!"

"Yeah!" The HERO army cheered as they stood atop a pile of scrap metal.

"Well done dear!" smiled Marisa hugging Yui.

"Not bad Yui, wish I could've used this cool new deck I made but eh, it's whatever." Said Trahzo. "And look, no crumbling lair for us to run from."

"The ironic part? I managed to beat him without Athena's ability popping up."

"Ooh right...each fairy summon, inflict 600 damage I sense the fans are gonna yell at us for that."

"They haven't done it yet, why start now?"

"So how are we gonna end this chapter?" Asked Trahzo.

"Hmmm...wanna try auditioning for the Hunchback of Notre Dame stage play?"

"You're on."

Later...

"Hooray! I got Frollo!" Trahzo cheered.

"D'oh, why do we have to be the gargoyles?" Yui complained.


	27. Chapter 27

List of oneshots part 4

chapter 27

An albino monster boy finds a new home.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

The forest was still, the birds were quiet, the bigs weren't buzzing, everything seemed quiet. Except for the snapping of twigs and breaking of branches due to a blur running through them.

The figure panted as they ran, branches slapping them as they ran, barely watching where they were going, the only thing on their mind was 'ESCAPE'.

The forest settled a bit after the blur passed by, only for a second blur to quickly follow.

"Come back here! You can't escape from me!" called the blur as it began to get closer and closer to the first one.

"No! Leave me alone!" called the blur as they jumped over a large fallen log… only to realize there was a small pond on the other side too late. They yelled and went splashing into it as the other blur stopped at the edge and looked down.

"Are you ok?" They called, the figure revealed to be a tall woman in a fancy purple suit with her legs being a pair of goat legs, and a large pair of curved goat horns on the top of her head along with a pair of goat ears. She had a large backpack on and what looked like an oversized net in her hands. "Did you drown?"

The water was still for a moment before a figure broke the surface, sputtering as they tried to reach the side desperately.

"Oh good you're alive! Now get in the net!" She said as she moved the net over the figure and began to inch them towards her.

"No! I won't! You can't make me!" cried the figure who was revealed to be a boy with a short mop of curly white hair on their head along with a pair of equally white deer ears and two tiny antlers that were the color of fresh snow. As they were pulled out of the water his torso was seen to be attached to the lower half of a deer, which was just as white as his hair.

"Well seeing as I have you in my net, I'd say I can." She said smugly as she pulled him out of the water and next to her, his head only coming up to her chest.

"Please, I just wanna be left alone." He groaned as he tried to get out of the net. "There's nothing special about me, I'm just a whitehorn!"

"Exactly. You're one of a kind, which means when I make you mine, I'll go down in history for having the first whitehorn as my husband~"

"Oh come on! I'm just part deer who got unlucky at birth! It's not that special!" He cried out shaking his head. "That's all there is to it! I'm no different than any other half deer person!"

"Oh yes there is, you're an ALBINO whitehorn~"

"Yes, but that's all!" He groaned as she began to drag him away. "I'm not stronger, not faster, nothing! I can't even camouflage myself properly now!"

"Still, just the fact I have one as my husband would boost my status tenfold. Not even a pharaoh or anubis has one in the current day." She said smugly. "Plus you're young too, so you'll be around for a long time~"

"Oh come on! This is ridiculous!" He said, starting to grow desperate. "Wouldn't you rather go with some big buff adventurer?"

"Maybe, but I'm sure we can buff you up plenty when we get home~"

'She won't listen!' He thought as his eyes darted around nervously. 'Is this it, after all these years running, someone caught me?! Is this the end of Pan?!'

"But that can wait AFTER the ceremony."

"Ceremony?! Oh god, you're going to skin me in front of some crazy cult, aren't you?!"

"Course not, just a ceremony to make it official." She said as she shook her head, unaware she was being watched from the trees. "Geeze, what do you think I am, a psychopath?"

"You just chased me down through the woods and now you want to force me to get married, so yes!"

"Hmph! Bit of a sharp tongue you've got, seems like I'll have to fix that later." She said with a sigh before a small dart was shot into her neck. "Ow! What was….that….uhhhhh…" She groaned as she began to feel her limbs go numb.

Pan looked at her confused before watching her fall over and pass out, surprising him. He hesitantly poked her before grinning.

"Yes! Haha, my luck is finally turning around!" He cheered while getting the net off him. "Phew, whatever that was, it saved my life." He sighed before seeing a dart barely miss his cheek. "...eh?"

"Damn it I missed!" Growled a voice from the trees as his face went white before he turned around and quickly began dashing away like a startled deer. "Hey! Come back here!"

"No no no no no no! Just leave me alone!" He cried as the figure began to follow him through the trees. "I just wanna be left alone!"

"That was never an option, now hold still." They spoke before they loaded another dart into their blow dart tube. "I promise this will be quick and painless."

"That's what they all say!" He cried as he kept running. "What do you want from me, to skin me, stuff me, mount me on a wall, or show me around like some kind of trophy?!"

"All of the above." Called the figure as they leaped forward, and landed on Pan's back, making him stumble.

"G-Get off of me, get off!"

"Sweet dreams~" They sang before Pan felt the dart hit his neck.

"N….no…." He got out as his legs gave out under him and he went crashing into the ground. "Oooh…."

"There we go, now you rest as I get you to the wagon." Chuckled the figure as they stood up and lifted Pan up, slumping him over their shoulder. "He's gonna look perfect on my wall, and is probably gonna taste even better."

(Later)

"Ugh….my head." Groaned Pan as his eyes began to open. "Where am I?" He looked around and saw he was covered in a large tarp and the world seemed to be moving slightly. 'How did I….oh yeah, that person got me with a dart.' He thought as he carefully lifted part of the tarp back so he could look around. 'I guess I got lucky and they didn't use enough tranquilizer.'

"Man, we bagged us a real beauty." Chuckled a figure who was driving the wagon. "Today was a good day~"

"Yeah, and by the end of the day we're gonna be filthy rich."

'Crap, there's another person, are they a hunter too?' he thought with a gulp. 'I can't believe this is gonna happen. As if the last hunter I ran into wasn't bad enough.' He thought as he peaked out to get a look at who caught him. 'Ok, maybe this isn't too bad, maybe I got lucky and they're both weak humans?'

"How much you think his fur is worth alone?"

"Well, if we find the right buyer I'd say oh… 50 grand, tops, but he's worth a lot more alive." Chuckled the second figure, who all Pan could see of was a large bushy striped tail.

"Shame, I know a few people who'd pay an arm and a leg for an arm and a leg." Laughed the first figure decked out in brown robes.

"Yeah, but you know what he's worth on the market, he's rare enough that he's worth money but not so rare no one's heard of an albino before, and that is the perfect market.' Chuckled the figure. "If someone doesn't believe something's real they won't buy it, but make it ultra rare AND real and they'll pay anything!"

'Not if I'm not there!' He thought as he made sure their backs were turned before he leapt up and jumped out of the wagon. He took off running and went into a bush while not bothering to look back.

"Yeah, now how about you wake up the sleeping prince, we're nearly at the ma- fuck!"

"What is it?"

"He's gone!"

"WHAT?!" The cloaked figure cried as she turned around to just barely see Pan disappear into the woods. "NO!"

"Get him!"

As both got off the wagon, Pan himself ducked into an old log to try and catch his breath, while gripping his hands tightly.

'Why did my life have to be this way?! Why did I have to be on the constant run from everyone?! I end up with a rare fur color since I was a baby, and no one bothers to leave me alone! I'm not rare or special! My fur is a different color, that's it! It's no different than painting a house a brand new color never seen before!' he thought as he let out a groan. 'Yet some bastard thinks me having some white fur is special and they want it! Damn it!'

He hit the log and groaned, feeling like shit. 'I don't get why they would care about the stupid color when there's literally tons of other people who can actually DO cool stuff! Like make literal paradises in deserts, or make entire kingdoms out of slime, or even breath underwater and fuck without dying!' He thought as he let out another groan. 'I need to try something new, I can't keep this up forever, I got too close to death this time!'

As he tried to relax and laminate about his life, he didn't realize a man walking through the forest, whistling, with glasses and a coat on was passing by.

"Hum ho ho da da da…" He hummed as he kept walking before letting out a yawn. "Boy, I sure am getting tired. Better see if I can't find any more specimens before calling it a day." He said as he looked around before spotting the log. 'Ah, there we go, I know some species hide in damp, rotten places.' he walked over towards it and crouched down. "Now what….well well well, what do we have here?" He said as he looked in to see Pan's startled face.

"Uh….quack?"

"You are not a duck." He chuckled. "But you sure are a surprising find, didn't expect someone like you hiding in a log like a beaver."

"I uh… like logs?" He said nervously as he tried to back up.

"Well why don't I help you out? Seems a bit snug in there."

"N-No! I'm fine, really!" He spoke trying to back up quicker as the man chuckled.

"Oh come now, here, I'll help." He said as he grabbed Pan's arms. "I'll pull you out in no time."

"N-No, don't!" He cried out as the man gave a tug and pulled him out.

"There you g- what the hell?"

"You're seeing things!" He said quickly nervously. "You ate some bad mushrooms!"

"No, you have deer legs!"

"Awkward bone growth and lack of waxing!"

"And you have white fur!"

"Terrible accident with a barrel of bleach!"

"And are those deer ears?!"

"Fake ones!" He said nervously as he looked around. 'Welp, I guess this is where I die!'

"Amazing! You most certainly do have the worst of luck, huh?"

"Yup, real bad luck. So bad in fact you wouldn't wanna get involved, better back up away from me to be on the safe side."

"Oh no, really, if you're out here then you must be lost, do you want some directions back to town?"

"Uh...town?"

"Yes, the local town, it's only about ten minutes away from here that way." He said as he pointed behind Pan. "You were going there, weren't you?"

"Um… kinda?" He said nervously. 'That's probably where the hunter's were headed.. But if I stay in the woods they'll find me for sure.'

"Well I could show you the way personally." He said as he took Pan's hand and began to lead him away.

"T-That's not necessary, really!"

(Later)

'How did he talk me into this?!' he thought, walking beside the man reluctantly. "I uh… I think I should cover up a b-"

"Nonsense my good man, you'll be fine."

"Bu-"

"Fine!" He spoke in a firm tone making Pan shut up.

'Ok, so I'm gonna die all because I can't stand up to an old man...great.' He thought before noticing a cabin coming up down the road. 'Ok, maybe I can lose him in there, I'll duck in while he's walking and wait for him to leave.'

"So, what are you going to do when we get to town?"

"Uh, maybe grab a small bite to eat." He said as he eyed the cabin. "I dunno, didn't really think about it, you?"

"Well see I'm a doctor, so probably go on and sell some of the medicine I make in my cabin, which is the one right up here."

"Oh… that's your cabin?" he asked with a small groan.

"Yup, why don't I show you around? It won't take long."

"I uh, I don't think that's really necessary, I'm good, thanks."

"Oh no, I insist." He said as he grabbed Pan's hand and dragged him towards the cabin.

'Fine, I guess a quick stop won't hurt anyone.' He thought before they entered and saw the place was littered with all sort of random junk. "Um… nice place?"

"Thanks, usually I mean to clean up, but then I get distracted with my work." He said with a chuckle. "I wasn't expecting company so soon."

"Well I'd probably distract you even more, so I better head on down to town." Pan said as he turned to leave, only for the old man not to relinquish his grip. "Uh, you can let go now."

"Oh, I don't think so." he smiled with a chuckle. "You see, I just came up with a new theory, and I need some help."

"Uh…. what kind of theory would that be?"

"What sort of medicine I can make using an albino's body." He said as Pan's face paled.

"NO NO NO NO! That is all bull! I am no different than a regular person! Let me go, let me go!" he cried trying to pry his hand free as the man reached over and grabbed a rag from a table. "HELP! HELP! Stranger danger, stranger danger!"

"Quiet now, with your help I will make leaps and bounds with medical science!" he smiled before moving the rag towards Pan who kept his face away. "Now just breath into the rag and we can get started."

"No, no, noooooo!" he cried before his foot swung up, slamming the man right in the nuts.

"Ack!" He cried as he fell to the floor, groaning as he held his nuts and let go of Pan. "Why…." He groaned as the monster boy dashed out of the cabin.

"I don't wanna be cut open!" He cried out as he ran, never looking back. "I wanna live a long life!"

(Later)

"Ha...Ha… this world is a nightmare." he panted, hiding behind several large rocks. "I'm gonna die! Everyone wants to hunt me, cut me up, or marry me for some kind of weird trophy husband!" he bit his lip and started to pace. "I gotta find some place safe. A place where no one could ever hurt me, but where?" He muttered as he racked his brain. "...what if I'm somewhere people can't kill me, like a big town? No one's gonna kill someone in the middle of the street, right?"

He racked his brain on pros and con, but quickly yelled out in aggravation.

"Screw it! I'll take my chance!" He shouted as he stood up. "I'm going to the big city, where I'll be safe!"

(Later)

Pan was decked in a brown cloak and currently walking past numerous humans in a town, making sure to keep his fur covered. He was getting several odd glances since the cloak went over his deer half which went past what would be normal. 'Ok, I think this is working.'

"What?! Ten silver pieces for that? That's a joke!"

"Hey, take it or leave it lady."

"Fresh fruit for sale! I have fresh fruit!"

"Husbands, get your husbands! I got human, monster, you want it, I got it!"

'I'm definitely staying away from THAT one!' He thought as he glanced at the shop nervously. 'What kind of place is this city?'

"Hey you." Called a voice as Pan felt a hand rest on his shoulder.

"H-Huh? Yes?"

"Why are you covering your face?" Called the voice as he looked behind a bit so he could see who was talking to him, to see a large lamia.

"I-I have an ugly face?" He lied. "I'm self conscious about it."

"Oh come now, I doubt that, it can't be that bad, right?"

"Yes it is, very bad. So bad it would kill you!"

"Huh? What are you, a Medusa?" She asked with a frown as she yanked down his hood and twirled him around.

"Avert your eyes!" He spoke using one hand to try and cover his fur while using the other one to cover her eyes.

"Wow, you look pretty cute~" She purred, looking past his fingers. "Say, do you have a place to stay here in the city cutie?"

"N-No, bu-"

"Great!" She spoke before he found himself wrapped up by her tail. "You can stay at my place~"

"W-Wait, I don't know i-"

"Come on, I insist! In fact, I really do insist, I don't want you to be out in the cold all alone, I'll make sure you're nice and safe with me~" She gave a half lidded look with him screaming in his head.

"I-I'm fi-" He said as she headed towards a large door on a nearby building. 'Why does she live so close?!'

"You'll love my interior design." She gushed as she dragged him into the building, slamming the door behind her. "I just know you're gonna love it here!"

'She's already making it sound like we're a couple!' He thought as he looked around nervously before getting an idea. 'Maybe… this won't be so bad? She seems to like me for me so far, and not because I'm an albino… maybe this won't be so bad?'

"Ah, it's so good to have a man around the house, it's been weeks since the last one I brought home." She sighed happily as she pulled him into her apartment. "So, what do you think, do you wanna take that cloak off and get comfortable~?"

"W-Wait! What do you mean weeks?"

"Oh honey, did you really think you're the first man I brought up here to have some fun with~?" she chuckled. "I've brought tons of guys here, but sad to say they don't last too much so I go through them too fast."

"I-I think I want to leave now." He said nervously. 'I've made a mistake!'

"Oh no need to get scared, I'll make you feel like heaven~" She chuckled as she shut the door and locked it with her tail.

'I'll be going there!' He thought as he looked around desperately. "I-I need to go, I only want to do that with the person I marry!"

"Lucky for you I'm licensed in marriages." She cooed as she moved closer to him. "If you want I can marry us right now, but just between you and me I love having fun with the innocent little guys~"

'I need an adult!' He thought as she started to remove her top. "I-I need to go, really sorry!" He cried as he tried to jump away, only for her to grab him with her tail, smiling before pausing in confusion.

"Wait, what are you? You don't feel like a normal human."

"Y-Yes I am!" He said quickly. "I am human, very human, oh boy do I love being human!"

"No, you feel off." She said as she grabbed his cloak and threw it off before gasping. "You're a whitehorn! I've never seen a guy one before!"

"I-I'm not a guy! I'm...a girl!" He lied nervously. "I'm underdeveloped."

"Your voice doesn't sound like a girl." She said as her eyes narrowed. "Also why is your fur white? I thought whitehorn's fur was brown."

"I dyed it! I'm going through a phase, REAL big one." He said quickly. "I am trying to reinvent myself for the big city so… I can find a man?"

"So...you don't have a penis?" She asked as he quickly nodded. "Awwwww."

"Yeah, sorry, this was all a misunderstanding."

"Well…..I guess I could be open minded when it comes to girls." She said as she rubbed her chin.

"S-Sorry, I'm not into that, I should really go and find somewhere to stay." He spoke while trying to slip out of her tail. "Sorry again for the confusion, I hope you understand."

"Oh well, I guess I'll go hunt down another cutie." She sighed as Pan put his cloak on again. "Maybe I should go see if I can find someplace to rent a cutie..hey! Wait, whitehorn! I have an idea, let's go buy you a husband, then you can share with me!"

"No need, I'm not really looking for right at this moment. Thought maybe I'd wait a day or two before looking for one."

"Ok, fine, see you later.' She called as Pan sighed in relief as he left.

'That was too close!' He thought before bolting around the corner when he got out. 'I should have made a run for it without looking!' He thought as he looked around nervously. 'This place is just as dangerous as the woods!'

"Excuse me sir."

"Huh?" He said as he turned around in confusion.

"You look like the kind of guy who has to deal with all sorts of aches and pains." remarked the man who had a cloak with a bag over his shoulder. "Do you ever suffer with all kinds of diseases that are known to kill normal men?"

"No? Why?" He asked, feeling nervous.

"Because I know just what you need." He reached into his bag and pulled out a bottle. "This here concoction is of my own making. Guaranteed to help you live a longer, healthier, and might I add fertile life. That's right, one sip and you'll have to keep women at bay with a stick, you'll be feeling like a brand new stallion, and all at the low low price of, oh say, 5 gold pieces."

"Um, I'm fine, thanks." he said as he began to walk away. "I'm not looking for something like that."

"Now sir, please, I-"

"I don't have any gold on me."

"Oh, damn it." Grumbled the man as he started to walk away. "Just my damn luck."

'Ok, I need to find somewhere to stay fast!' He thought as he looked around, trying not to draw attention. 'If I stay out here odds are someone will see me and go nuts!'

"Fresh weasels! Get your fresh weasels!"

"Fresh fruit, straight off the tree!"

'Maybe I'll hide out in the rundown part of town.' He thought as he began to make his way down the street, trying to stay inconspicuous. 'There's bound to be some abandoned spots I can bunk at for a while.'

"You sir, I see you are a fan of cloaks, may I interest you in a new one?" Called a voice as Pan felt himself get grabbed from behind. "Here, I'll just take this one off and show you a much superior product!"

"Wait no!" He cried out as his cloak was ripped off him in the middle of the street, leaving him exposed. He yelped and tried to cover his ears while the person blinked.

"Wait… you're a monster?" He asked in confusion. "Why were you trying to hide?"

"N-No reason! I...just am sensitive to sunlight, now give me my cloak!"

"Hey, hey, I said I could get you a better one, now come on, just think about it, I can even make you one that fits and doesn't cover your legs." He said as people began to notice Pan.

"No thanks, I'm good, really!" He said quickly as he looked around nervously. 'I should never have come here!'

"ALBINO!" cried out one man, making Pan take his cloak back and took off running.

"Albino?! Dibs!"

"After him!"

"Just leave me alooooone!" He cried out as he ducked down an alley and ran past several people as a crowd took off after him, trying to fit down the alley or go around the sides. As he ran he passed two people in white cloaks who paused and watched him run past.

"Was that… an albino?"

"It seems so… alert the group."

"Right." the first person pulled out a scroll and jotted down a message with a pen, then lit it on fire from a nearby torch with the ashes flying up into the air. "Let's go get him, they'll prepare the gateway."

"Right."

Pan panted, sliding across the ground under a man's legs as he made a grab for him, and had to quickly jump up and over thrown bolos while he kept on moving. "Why are you after me, I don't have anything you want!"

"Get back here! I'm gonna hit the jackpot!"

"I have a daughter who's been looking for a good husband!"

"I must try out this new recipe! I'll take a leg!"

"It's only my fur that's different, I DON'T TASTE ANY DIFFERENT YOU WEIRDO!" He cried out before he saw a field of bear traps near the edge of the town and went wide eyed, barely managing to skid to a stop and almost fell on one with extremely sharp edges. "Who had time to set this up?!"

"Halt!" called a knight as he and several others lined up behind him with their spears out. "That's far enough."

"Why, why me?! I'm just a whitehorn, why does everyone want to kill me?!"

"We aren't here to kill you." The knight said as Pan looked at them nervously. "We are here to take you for the princess."

"Uh uh! No way! I am NOT becoming a pet again!"

"Then you will die." He frowned and held up his arm. "Forward men!"

'No… is this how I die?!' He thought, sweating in fear and glanced between them and the bear traps. Before he could make a choice though two figures darted forward and moved in front of him.

"Are you the albino? We are here to help."

"Oh yeah right! I'm about to be killed and you're trying to make jokes? You're sick!"

"It's him, prepare the portal."

"Portal prepared."

"Portal what?" He asked as a blinding white light appeared beneath Pan and the two figures before they disappeared.

"Hey! Where'd they go?" Asked one of the knights.

"I don't know!"

(Meanwhile)

The figures and Pan reappeared in the forest in another white light, with Pan falling back with a startled yelp.

"Ow… where am I?"

"You're safe."

"Huh?" he looked at them before quickly jumping up and held his fists out. "No way! I am NOT getting treated like some….toy!"

"You won't be, this isn't what you think it is, this is a protected area." Said the figure as Pan looked at them skeptically. "An area where you have no need to feel scared."

"Liar, there is always a reason, hunters, poachers, crazy women looking to gain status by making me their husband!"

"No, you don't get it, we're part of the Albo clan, we have created this area to protect creatures like you so they can live their life in peace."

"Ah! So you're a cult who wants to sacrifice me for some weird power!"

"No! We just brought you to this land, it's a square mile of woods and fields, it has a forcefield around it that will keep poachers from getting in."

"Why should I trust you?!"

"You don't have to, just ask the others here, besides, we're leaving anyway." The two figures turned and started walking away, Pan watching them before they literally vanished from the spot.

"What the hell?" He said as he looked where they disappeared before shaking his head. "Lunatics." He looked around the forest, huffing with a frown. "Forcefield my ass. There's nothing here." He muttered as he began to walk away, only to hit an invisible wall. He blinked and tried again, but bumped into something again. "What the…"

"Let me guess, first time seeing a force field, huh? You just arrived, didn't you?"

"AHHH!" he screamed whirling around. "My fur isn't special!"

"Yep, definitely new, welcome to the club." Chuckled the voice as he looked up to see a tall woman with a mouth full of sharp teeth, long white hair and white scales up her arm and legs, along with a long white reptile tail behind her.

"I don't taste good! I'd make a horrible pet and husband! It's just white fur!"

"Hey, hey, calm down, I get it, I'm also Albino, I'm Alice the gator-woman." She chuckled. "What's your name?"

"I-I'm Pan…" he said nervously. "So… you don't want to hunt me down?"

"No way. I had enough of that from poachers who thought my teeth could give them infinite stamina if they grounded them into dust." She growled as she shook her head. "Come on, you want to meet the others?"

"Others?"

"Yeah. The others, let me guess, the guys in the cloaks didn't explain shit?"

"No, all they said was this place was safe, but I call bull on that! They look like some kind of weird ass cult, and I've seen a lot of weird ones!"

"Yeah, we all thought that, but so far they seem to be telling the truth, only they can get in, this place is safe, and every few days they drop off a bunch of new food." She turned and started walking. "Follow me."

"Ok…" he said as he followed her. "So… how many people live here?"

"Quite a few, but not exactly a kingdom's worth." She said with a shrug. "Maybe… like two dozen, at most? Maybe three or four? A few of them are pretty secretive and seclusive."

"Wow… wait, and we all live here? Didn't he say this place was only a square mile?"

"Yeah, but it's pretty big, you get used to it." She said with a shrug. "A mile is a lot a room, and it doesn't feel too crowded."

"Are they all like us?"

"Yes and no? There are a few Albinos, but there's some other cases too, for example there's this lamia guy who suffers from melanism, it's pretty much the opposite of being Albino."

"That's a thing?"

"Oh yeah, it's a big world, there's all kinds of crazy shit, for example there's this one harpy who has blue skin and feathers."

"That sounds….I don't know what that sounds like."

"I dunno, I think she's just a rare breed." She said as they reached a small lake. Near it showed numerous grass huts of various sizes and various figures going about their business. "Here it is, home sweet home."

"Hey, Alice, you got the new guy?" Called a lamia as she looked over, her scales and skin as dark as the night.

"Yup, say hello to Pan."

"Hey, welcome to our little slice of heaven, nothing here but us freaks." She waved with Pan giving his own wave.

"So… what do you do here, do we just live here or…"

"Yeah, we're completely safe here, thank gods for those white cloaked cultists!"

"So they are part of a cult?!"

"I assumed they are, I mean why else would they help us? All I know is a few people here have been here for a few years, so no one wants to hurt us...we think?"

"You're free to go around and mingle if you want Pan."

"Ok…." he said as he hesitantly made his way forward. 'This feels almost too good to be true.'

He spotted a minotaur currently hefting up several rocks on her back, but what made her stand out was the numerous patches of white spots across her skin. 'Wow… I guess there are people here like me… maybe those guys were telling the truth?' he walked over to her and cleared his throat. "Uh, hello?"

"Huh? Oh, hey there little guy, are you new?"

"Yeah, I'm Pan." He said as she dropped the rocks. "So… what's it like here?"

"It's pretty good here.' She said with a nod as she looked him over. 'Mmm, I like what I see, he's pretty cute for a scrawny guy~'

"So how long have you been living here?"

"Three years cutie, and the names Elie." She winked, making him blush. "If you wanna get a hut set up next to mine, I'd gladly lend a hand."

"O-Ok, I'll keep that in mind.' he said as his face heated up. "I-I'm gonna go introduce myself to everyone else."

"I'll come with you, I'm done with my workout anyway."

"Oh, that'd be great." He said as she led him towards the others. 'Huh… maybe this won't be so bad.'

"Over there is Julie." she pointed over to a harpy that was all blue and looking at herself in the lake. "She's a bit full of herself, so you can usually find her at the lake looking at her reflection."

"Isn't it kinda hard, what with being all blue?"

"Yeah, but it makes her happy, so we don't bug her." She said before pointing to a small man with a black lion's mane, tail and ears. "That's Leo, he got here a few months ago."

"What's he like?"

"He's a bit self conscious, apparently he got picked on a lot because of his size, when he got saved a pack of lionesses were fighting over him."

"Damn, I know the feeling. Usually I'm assumed to have some hidden power because of my fur. Like doctors wanna cut me open, people wanna sell my fur off for money, and some have even tried to cook me!"

"Yeah, welcome to the club, everyone here's got the same story, but luckily we're here now, free and safe." She grinned while Pan spotted a cheshire cat who had bright red fur napping on the top of one of the huts. "Now come on, let's get you a hut, and until yours is built I'm happy to share mine with you~"

"Uh...you sure? I mean, we just met." He said with a blush as she chuckled.

"It's fine little guy, we don't have to start having fun in the sheets right off the bat, but you do need somewhere to stay until you got a hut, and besides, it's fine." She said with a shrug. "Besides, us freaks have to stick together."

"...is it really ok to really call ourselves that?" He asked looking down. "I mean, isn't it just a reminder that we're different than everyone else? Isn't that usually the bad thing?"

"Eh, maybe, but who cares, we all know what we are and no one from the outside can get it, and there's no changing what we are, so why not embrace it?"

"Considering the times I've been called that? Easier said than done." He said as he shuddered from the bad memories.

"Hey, it's ok, they can't get you in here, we're safe here now." She said as Pan slowly nodded. "Want a hug?"

"...yes." he said weakly as she smiled and pulled him into a hug. He let his head rest against her chest as she rubbed his head.

"There, there, just relax, no one can hurt you anymore." She said as he nodded. As they hugged they were unaware they were being watched from far away though a magical crystal ball.

"Hmmm, a new arrival? Good, I do so love watching fresh meat get settled in." Chuckled the figure. "It's always nice to see fresh blood in my little zoo."

"Shall we include a dose of aphrodisiacs for the next food package your majesty?"

"Mmmm, no, not yet, let them get settled first and grow close with the others, I have a feeling him and that minotaur will be creating babies soon without our help anyway~"

"Yes your majesty. On another note, your husband has returned with what seems to be a new brand of lingerie."

"Ooh! Tell him I'll be there in a moment!"

"Yes your majesty." The servant said as they left, leaving the figure who was revealed to be a tall beautiful woman with long white hair, a pair of horns and a wings. This was the demon lord herself.

"I wonder if he's trying to butter me up to make another daughter? And here I thought I would have to bring it up~" She chuckled as she got up to leave, ignoring the crystal ball. "Time to have some fun~"


	28. Chapter 28

List of oneshots part 4

chapter 28

Steven discovers the rejected diamonds.

Series: Steven Universe

xxxxxxxxxxxx

"Ah, Steven, it's so nice for you to stop by and visit." Smiled White Diamond, all three of the diamonds in their thrones as their 'nephew' arrived with a smile walking into the room.

"It's nice to visit, it's been awhile.' He said sheepishly. 'I'd almost forgotten, what with getting little homeworld up and going.'

"Had we known sooner we could have had a celebratory greeting waiting for you." Remarked Yellow shaking her head. "You should have called ahead."

"It's ok, really, there's no need to go that far." He said as he rubbed the back of his head.

"He's right Yellow, now we don't have to worry about formalities, we can spend more time with Steven." Smiled Blue. "So tell us, what's been happening with you?"

"Well, me and the gems have been getting little homeworld on earth all set up, and we've been trying to find a use for the kindergarten." He remarked with his hands in his jacket pockets. "We figured with all that extra space, maybe we could turn it into something useful or just help brighten it up."

"Hmmm, well if you figure out a use for it let us know, we've never been able to fill those holes, especially the bigger ones from the failures."

Steven flinched hearing that and sat down on the floor. "Actually, there's something that's been on my mind for a while now."

"What is it?" Asked Blue curiously.

"Well, I know and understand how so many gems were made, but one thing that I never learned was, how were all of you made?"

"Oh, that? It's complicated, we haven't quite figured that out, and trust us, we tried, we really did, it certainly took us quite a few attempts to get it right."

"What do you mean?" Asked Steven confused.

"Well Steven, it's like this." Yellow stood up with her hands behind her as she walked past him. "Ever since we can remember, we have existed. We don't know when it happened since it's been so long, we don't know how it happened, but what we do know is that we were formed here on Homeworld long long ago. We've had some possible theories on how, but...none really gave us the real answers."

"Yes, and it was quite tricky to re-discover the right process, in fact we'd nearly given up before Pink Diamond was successfully created." smiled White Diamond. "It took so much trial and error, but after Pink came to be, we lost track of things and let that thought drift away."

"Besides, after what those rejects came to be, it's good to not try it ever again." muttered Yellow shaking her head.

"Rejects?" Steven asked in confusion before his eyes widened. "Wait… are there other diamonds?"

"Well….they're not technically real ones." Remarked Blue looking away. "They WERE the ones that came into being when we tried to find the answer behind our creation, but they came out...flawed."

"Wait, did you…. Shatter them?" Steven asked, horrified.

"What? No, no, they may have been flawed but they were still diamonds, we wouldn't shatter them we just… sent them away." Remarked White while Steven stood up. "Far away, to a planet where they could still exist, just not here."

"So… how exactly were they flawed?" Steven asked in confusion.

"It's not important Steven." Yellowed waved her hand. "What is important is spending this time together before you have to go."

"Awww, but now I wanna know." Pouted Steven. "I can't let something that big be forgotten like that."

"Trust me, it's best that it is." Yellow said firmly as Steven frowned before grinning and turning to Blue.

"Blue, will you tell me? If you do I'll stay for a week this time."

Blue gasped before standing up. "Wait right here." She walked over to the side wall and put her palm against it, causing a light to appear before it showed a line leading up to the ceiling, causing a portion of it to open as what looked like a hovering screen came down.

"Blue." Frowned Yellow. "Don't, it's best that the past stay forgotten."

"But Yellow, Steven said he'd stay here for a whole week." Blue said as she turned to Yellow. "Isn't just a bit of information worth that?"

"...he has to stay a month."

"I wouldn't mind a year." White chimed in with a smile making Steven hold his hands up.

"Maybe we work it out afterwards."

"Fine, but White's right, I won't settle for anything less than six months."

'Oh man.' Thought the hybrid as the screen stayed in the air and glowed.

"Alright Steven, since you want to know so much, this monitor will make things simpler. It's linked up to the recorded footage from eons past on them." explained White. "This is the only footage we have of these events, each shows the creation of a diamond and their… flaws."

Steven sat down to get comfy as the screen started to show what looked like a pitch black room with bubbling lava in the center raised up in a column, showing White, Yellow, and Blue surrounding it with serious, but also curious expressions.

"This better work Peridot." Yellow said as she glanced at a basic green gem who was tapping away at a tablet.

"Based on the calculations and the Bismuth's constant work to construct the room, everything should proceed as planned." Spoke the gem nervously. "The link to the planet's core will provide enough heat while gathering the highest minerals it can to ensure sufficient results."

"Good, because if this fails you know what will happen.' She said coldly as the lava continued to rise up, starting to take the form of a humanoid creature.

"It's happening." Spoke Blue, going wide eyed in awe while White herself watched with her former cold, cruel, and spine tingling smile.

"Excellent, now let us welcome a new diamond into the world." She said as the lava began to condense into the form of a gem. This one slowly being revealed as a green diamond that was glowing and giving off what looked like sparks.

"Yes, yes, it works!" Yellow laughed as she reached out and took the gem before setting it down on the ground.

All eyes focused on it, Steven more so with amazement.

"Why isn't it forming a body?" Asked Blue in the video.

"Well, I think I have a theory, it could be because it wasn't made traditionally in a kindergarten, so it might not burst out, ready to go." The peridot said before the gem began to glow. "Or it was a late bloomer."

The gem slowly rose up as green light stretched out from it, beginning to form a figure again, but more stable and near Yellow and Blue's height. The figure had a large round afro of green hair and her clothes seemed like they would fit into the seventies with a low cut blouse and bell bottom pants, both green. Her skin was more white with a light green undertone with the diamond situated right in her belly, like Steven, with high platform shoes forming on her feet before she touched the ground and stood up, letting out a low groan.

"Welcome." Spoke White Diamond in the screen with her arms spread out. "You have come to know existence, Green Diamond."

"Green Diamond…" The figure said slowly, trying the words out. "I like it."

"Wow… so that's another diamond?" Steven asked in awe.

"Yes, the first one of many failures." Sighed Yellow while herself in the screen walked over to the new diamond.

"Tell us, how do you feel?"

"I feel good, groovy, ya know?"

"I see, well then, do you know who you are, what your duties are?"

"Uh….I'm Green Diamond?"

"Yes, but I mean do you KNOW what that entails? What it means to be a diamond?"

"Kind of…." She said as she looked around before spotting the Peridot. Her eyes widened as said gem was trying to take in this development. "Oooh, and who is this little thang?"

"That is a Peridot, she is a-"

"Can I have one?"

"Ah, well it only makes sense. As a Diamond it's natural to want lesser gems at your command to do your will." Nodded Yellow while Steven saw Yellow in her throne covering her face.

"I should have kept my mouth shut on that." She groaned as the Green Diamond looked at the Peridot with a large grin before the video was cut and began again, this time Yellow and Blue moving towards a large green tower.

"Are you sure she's in there? What has she been doing, the only time I hear from her is when she is requesting more gems to come to her palace." Blue said nervously. "I hope everythings ok."

"Maybe she's making them fight each other for amusement, but that's no reason to do it all in her tower. There's plenty more all over Homeworld to command." Remarked Yellow. She cleared her throat before knocking on the large pair of doors. "Green, are you in there?"

"Whatcha need?!" She called back. "I'm busy!"

"Green, we need to talk, we haven't seen you in months, and you refuse to give us any progress reports."

"I've been busy, that's all!" Called back the Diamond. "Just leave me be for now!"

"No, we're coming in." Spoke Yellow before using her hand to make the doors open as she and Blue walked in. "Green, you-what in Homeworld are you doing?!"

"Get out!"

"Oh dear." Gasped Blue covering her mouth. "Green, what is this, what have you done?"

"I told ya I was busy." Glared Green who had several gems in her arms, hugging them close to her chest with all of them looking relaxed and in some sort of trance. A few others leaning against her legs with her sitting on the floor. On the wall around the palace were massive shelves, each full of gems who all seemed to be in the same trance as the ones Green was cuddling.

"Green, explain yourself, now." Ordered Yellow in a stern tone. "What have you done to these gems?!"

"I'm havin' fun is what it is. Looking at all of them, walking around, being all tiny and stuff, it was too dang adorable. So I decided to go on and show 'em all the love I got. Besides, they're too cute!"

"Green, there are hundreds of gems here, they have work to do!" Yellow said with a frown before turning to several Amethysts on a shelf. "You all, get to work!"

"Oooh...I feel...too relaxed." One spoke laying on her back with a smile. "Ahhhh…. This is nice."

"Feels good….not to do anything." Remarked the one next to her while a third nodded with her eyes closed.

"Green…. Did you do something to these gems?" Blue asked slowly, getting a bad feeling.

"Of course, these cuties kept yakkin' on about how they had to get back to work, so I decided to help them relax~" She smiled while rubbing a Jasper on the head slowly. "They don't gotta do anything when they're with me."

"Green! I have no problem if you want to treat a few gems like your own personal pets, but doing it to too many of them will slow down our projects." glared Yellow walking over. "Now, you are going to let most of them get back to work and work on that report, do I make myself clear?"

"Hell naw! You know what, you need to relax too!" She stood up and grabbed Yellow by the shoulder with her hand glowing green, making Yellow go wide eyed and groaned since she felt a tingling sensation run towards her gem. "Shhh, Shhh, just relax and enjoy yourself Yellow~"

"Why….you….clod!" Yellow growled and blasted Green, causing her to go flying back as she dropped the gems and slammed into the wall. "Getting cocky was your second mistake. The first? Thinking you were above your superiors." She growled before the feed cut off.

"Hey, what happened next?"

"Oh, just a simple battle, me and Blue were victorious and that traitor was sent far away, though unfortunately some of the gems she used her powers on were unfixable, so we just sent them with her to satisfy her." Remarked Yellow shaking her head. "If we had just given her a Pearl from the start, maybe she could have worked out her issues."

"Wow… so were all of them like that?" Steven asked as White grimaced.

"Oh goodness no, the next one was even worse, we knew she was a failure the minute she came out."

The feed came back on, but this one actually showed numerous gems running around as a piece of debris nearly crushed them, several Jaspers and Amethyst moving in formation.

"My Diamond please! Calm down!"

"NO NO NO! MY PALACE ISN'T PERFECT, IT'S ALL YELLOW'S FAULT! I WANT A NEW PALACE! I WANT IT, I WANT IT, I WANT IT!" Roared a voice before a red beam came out and hit the gems, sending them flying with several poofing. "IF IT'S NOT PERFECT THAN I DON'T WANT IT!"

"RED! Stop this madness at once!" Yellow bellowed as she moved forward towards the voice as the dust began to settle.

"NO! I DON'T WANNA!" Screamed the voice as the tall figure was shorter than Yellow with lightish red skin, but wearing a long crimson skin tight top, matching pair of pants, but with spikes jutting from the sides and had hair in the shape of a cone. Her shoes looked more like combat boots with her gem in the center of her forehead with her eyes glowing bloody red.

"Red, calm down this instance, you're tearing Homeworld apart!"

"IT SHOULD BE, IT'S NOT PERFECT!" she growled while clenching her hands. "So many things are crooked! Dirty! Off center! So many different colors at once! IT SHOULD ALL BE PERFECT!"

"Well throwing a tantrum won't fix this! At this rate you'll destroy the world!"

"NO, YOU JUST WANT TO KEEP ME FROM GETTING MY PERFECT WORLD!" She accused before firing beams from her eyes with Yellow ducking as they blew a hole behind her. Red shouted once more and let another beam out before the fede immediately cut off.

"Ah, that's right, she destroyed the camera drones you had with you." Blue said as Steven stared in shock.

"Whoa…. She was so violent."

"She was spoiled." Huffed White. "She acted like she should be the one to decide what was perfect and what wasn't. That was solely my job, or at least it used to be."

"Was White, was.' Blue said calmly. "It is unfortunate we had to get rid of her, but she did tear Homeworld in half."

"Wait, that's why the planet is torn in half?! And you put her on the same planet as Green Diamond?!"

"Well…. Not exactly, I think it was one planet, or was it several small moons orbiting a planet?" Blue mused. "I think they were separated from each other so they didn't kill each other… or plot to overthrow us."

"It's been so long I completely forgot." White said with a shrug. "Oh well, at least the next one wasn't as bad."

"Ugh, her?! She was insufferable!" Groaned Yellow covering her face. "I can still hear her annoying singing even now!"

"Singing?" Steven asked as the feed started up again. It showed what looked like the throne room where he heard what sounded like humming. "There was a diamond who liked to sing like me?"

"Yes…. and no."

"Ahh~ Another wonderful day to be me~" Sang the voice as the feed went over to show a figure that resembled Blue, what with the white hair and face, but the hair was more curled around her purple face with darker purple elbow length opera gloves and a long sparkling indigo dress that exposed one leg, showing a high heeled white shoe and her gem right at the base of her neck. "What a wonderful day~" She sang.

In the background a small group of Rubies snuck past the hall, looking at the diamond nervously, almost fearfully.

"Why are they looking at her like that, she seems pretty relaxed compared to the other two.' Steven thought as the Rubies moved from doorway to doorway until the last one in the group tripped, letting out a small groan.

The others went wide eyed and tried to shush her, but the Diamond glanced over and spotted them. "Oh my, what do we have here~"

"W-We're just on our way to our post my Diamond!" The lead Ruby said quickly as the diamond frowned.

"Ah, ah, sing it~" She wagged her finger without losing her tone.

"Uh...um...we...were on our way, to our post~" The Ruby tried to sing out as best as possible.

"Ugh, off tune~" Sang the Diamond before grinning. "But I know how you can be truly useful~"

All of them paled and huddled together as she got up and walked over towards them.

"P-Please my diamond, don't do it, please!" Begged one of the Rubies.

"You forgot to sing~" She let out before towering over them and reached down, grabbing the gems who screamed out in fear. "Now hold still, I've been needing some new earrings~"

Steven went wide eyed as the gems screamed from the diamond squeezing all of them, feeling uncomfortable and straight up scared when he saw them all go poof. "S-She poofed them?"

"Yes, but she didn't stop there, keep watching."

The screen showed her humming as she walked over to a mirror on the wall and pulled a small piece of metal from a hook and began to slowly twist and curve it, her hands unseen by the screen before moving them to her ears and smiled.

"Ah, perfection as always~" She sang as she moved her hands away to reveal two new earrings, both having red rubies as part of their decoration.

"S-She put them in jewelry?!"

"Yes, and she went even farther, take a look at her dress and guess what's making it sparkle."

Steven gulped and tried looking closer at the shines, and went slack jawed seeing numerous gems sewn into the dress, all different colors and shapes. "She...She's wearing them!"

"Yes, once we realized what she was doing we banished her immediately, after freeing the gems of course." Spoke Blue looking down. "Back then we seemed more considerate now that I think about it."

"Yes, I still think we should have shattered her." Groaned Yellow as she shook her head.

"I could have always fixed them." White said with a smile, making the others slightly shudder.

"Well, at least things got a little better, right?" Steven asked hopefully, only for the diamonds to look away.

"Not quite… the next one wasn't as destructive, but…. She was useless."

The screen cut away to show Blue currently knocking against a dark set of doors.

"Black? Could you come out?"

"No….. leave me here to rot…."

"Black, dear, it's been years since we've seen you, and you haven't done anything…" Spoke Blue with concern. "We're worried for you and want you to come out."

"No, everything is pointless… just let me gather dust here alone…"

Blue let out a deep sigh and slowly pushed the doors open and walked in. "Black, I'm not leaving until you come out." She called as she looked around before spotting a figure lying on the ground, a small layer of dust atop her, the figure being larger than even White Diamond herself. 'I hope that sounded firm enough, Yellow said not to wave when I speak.'

"It's pointless….you'll be waiting until we both fade away into nothing…."

"Now Black, you know you can't just lie around like this, you're a Diamond, you have to lead."

"My, I sound a bit hypocritical here, huh?" The real Blue Diamond said as Yellow shrugged.

"You were in mourning, and you occasionally did work, unlike Black."

"I'm not fit to lead...I'm useless…"

"Come now Black, your Pearl has been very concerned. She says you barely even acknowledge her when she tries to cheer you up."

"Everything is pointless, eventually the universe will end, so why do anything?"

Blue sighed and crouched down near the figure. "I'm sorry for this." Before grabbing the arm of the shape and started to lift up, forcing them to get up.

"Noooo, just let me collect dust!" They groaned trying to pull their arm back. "I wanna be alone!" The figure cried out, revealing to have grey skin with long, oily black hair with dark circles under her eyes, and a plain, black outfit on, as if the figure had barely given it any thought when she was formed.

"I'm sorry, but you can't!" Blue pulled her towards the doors with Black closing her eyes when she felt light come in and reach her face.

"NOOO! Not the sun, it's too bright!" She hissed, trying to claw at Blue's hands. "Let me go, let me go!"

"No Black, enough is enough, now are you going to get to work now?"

"NO!" She yelled, her gem in her hand glowing before what looked like darkness rose up from it, engulfing her and Blue suddenly.

"Black! Stop this at once!"

"I'm not going out there and you can't make me!" She shouted as she managed to free herself from Blue's grasp and dashed back into the doors, slamming them behind her as she went.

The darkness quickly faded away with Blue groaning and facepalming before the feed cut out.

"She seemed a bit shy, don't you think?" Asked Steven, feeling bad for her.

"Steven, she was a Diamond, she was made to lead with us, and she never did anything, any work at all, all she did was lay on the floor." Spoke Yellow crossing her arms. "Even when we gave her a private group of gems to help her, all she did was wallow and not do anything. She never once smiled either, not once in over 300 years."

"When we told her she was banished she practically celebrated, going on about how now no one would bother her again."

"Well maybe she wanted a friend. You know, someone to talk to without worrying about work."

"Steven, you have to understand this was a different time, and we tried, we even gave her a Spinel, who somehow got depressed after spending a week with her!"

"We didn't even know that was possible. I actually felt a bit nervous." Admitted White with a hand on her chest. "Luckily she's gone now, the next Diamond we made was almost a success except…" She trailed off with a sigh. "Well you'll see soon enough."

With that the screen changed to show a large space station orbiting a new planet, a battle raging outside the station.

"My Diamond, the troops need your guidance, should we continue the battle in space or should we move down into the planet's atmosphere?" Asked an Amethyst to a figure who had a peach colored skin with gloves similar to Yellow's, but orange. She wore a long dress that covered her legs with several sashes across her chest, with a curious expression and orange hair done up in four buns atop her head.

"I see…. Tell them to continue the battle in space." She said as she rubbed her chin.

"Yes my dia-"

"WAIT! What if that's a mistake?" She quickly asked with her hand on her chin. "If so, we better move down to the planet to be sure."

"Yes my Dia-"

"But what if that's what the enemy wants? What if they have a trap waiting for us down there?" she continued rubbing her chin as a red alert started going off. "We'd be walking right into it and be slaughtered. Continue the battle!"

"But my Diamond! Our shields are in critical condition!"

"Hmm….what to do, what to do…." She muttered looking up in thought. "I wonder if we could surrender….but then Yellow would get upset and yell. Then again, she might think it makes sense."

"My Diamond, we need an ans-"

"But then again the organics would get valuable technology which would only make their resistance even stronger, but then again if we surrender we could easily recapture the station later…"

The Amethyst looked at the readings and paled as the alarm went wild. "My Diamond! We-"

"I've got it!" she stood up. "We'll catch them off guard! Barrel into them!"

"My Diamond, the battle is lost, we've lost most of our fighters, we need to pull back now!"

"Hmm...then again, it wouldn't do any good to wreck the ship further. Oh I can't decide. What do you think, captain?"

"The station is lost, get to the escape pods!" An Emerald shouted as she slammed a large button, making an orb appear around Orange Diamond before shooting out of the space station, rocketing back to Homeworld.

"She had potential, but couldn't keep her mind focused." Sighed Yellow as the feed cut out. "A shame too, the battle plans she could come up with were decent, provided she didn't work out another one that made no sense."

"Wait, so you got rid of her because she couldn't make up her mind?"

"Steven, this happened every time she made a decision. Every. Single. Time." Emphasized Yellow. "Sometimes she would even change her mind on what hand she should use to address the gems with."

"Yes, so as you can see, she had to go, but after the complete failure that came next, I almost wish we kept her." Groaned White.

'Uh oh.' he thought as the screen went on to showcase a hall with numerous Jaspers running in line with weapons in hand.

"Forward, she couldn't have gotten far, we need to poof her to prepare her for banishment!"

"Wait, she's already being banished? What did she do?"

"Watch." Spoke Blue before there was a loud crash and the Jaspers all stopped when they saw part of the wall near them break apart.

"Stand your ground!" Yelled the leader, only for a growl to be heard and a shape in the dust loom over them. "D-Diamond, you need to stand down, now!"

"No, no no no, you want to get rid of me?! Then I won't go without a fight!" They screamed before swinging and smashed the Jasper away before turning to the others who stood their ground. "I'll shatter you all!"

"Poof her, do it now!" Ordered the leader as several more gems were blasted back.

The figure growled and took off running in a dash, moving so fast it was hard to get a clear look at her.

"She's heading to the lower levels, stop her!"

"Inform the Diamonds, we may lose her!"

The camera feed suddenly changed to the figure, jumping down a nearby crevice leading into a large open cavern making Steven go wide eyed.

"Wait, I know that area! Me and Lars wound up there after the trial."

"You were down there?! It's a miracle you survived, I hate to imagine what would have happened if she found you down there." Blue said worryingly as she picked Steven up and held him closely.

"What do you mean? If she's like the others, then she was banished, right?"

"We…. never actually caught her, she's still on Homeworld." Admitted Yellow with closed eyes.

"But what did she do? She sounded scared, not dangerous."

"She was, but… after awhile she became feral." White sighed. "Look, this is the last video we have of her when she still had her mind."

"The first sign something was wrong when she was born, but….completely unlike us." Spoke Blue with a grimace. "She was...several colors at once." She shuddered. "She was an off color."

"What?" Steven asked in shock.

"Yes, as soon as she was born we tried to banish her but… she was smart, and figured out what was happening."

"So she made a run for it and escaped, now she exists in the inner caverns of the planet." White shrugged as the camera manned in to focus on the off color, to show a short figure, only a little bit bigger than Pink Diamond, whose skin was a patchwork of blue, green, orange, hot pink, and white. She had sharp claws with no clothes, and sharp teeth with a wild look in her eyes. Her eyes darted around before spotting the camera and lunged at it, causing the feed to cut off.

Steven flinched and felt a shiver go up his back at the idea of running into her, him and Lars, defenseless down there, completely unaware of a Diamond who was a wild animal that could have...he didn't wanna think too hard on that. "So… was the next diamond you made Pink?"

"No, the next one was….someone you and the Crystal Gems could have probably been close friends with. Especially that Garnet of yours." Sighed Yellow as the feed started. "She… well you'll see."

The monitor turned on to show the three Diamonds in their thrones, facing someone whose face was obscured.

"Please, you three have to listen!"

"No Violet, this is madness!"

"How is curiosity madness? None of you have seen nor experienced it!"

"Because this is not how things are supposed to be!" Yellow snapped. "The very IDEA of gems doing….that! Is complete and utter insanity!"

"But it could be so amazing, and why are you opposed to me doing it with you or Blue? We're technically the same type of Diamond, so why would fusing be problematic?" Groaned the obscure figure.

"We are not like the other gems. If we did something like that, it might give them the idea to do it with gems that aren't like them. It would throw the sense of balance we've held since the beginning completely off!"

"But that's the point, it's time for a new era, a new age, and it would be awesome!" Spoke the figure with eagerness. "Just imagine it all. Jaspers fusing with Rubies, Pearls fusing with Emeralds, even Peridots fusing with Lapis!"

"Fusion?" Steven spoke with wide eyes and looked at Blue who closed her eyes with a guilty look. "You mean...there was a Diamond who was all for fusion?"

"That and more, that's all she talked about! Fusion this, fusion that, she even wanted to fuse with us!" Frowned Yellow slamming her fist on her throne rest. "It was so bad we would even find her trying to get the entire planet to fuse together!"

"Wait, what?!" Steven cried out in shock, remembering how large Obsidian was, and she was only a fusion of a handful of gems.

"You three are too thick headed." Sighed the figure as the camera moved around to show she had long light violet hair, with a dark violet gown that had a high collar up, with long black sleeves and frills on the gown that went all across the front. "As soon as something new and unknown is shown, you're too scared to give it a chance."

"The current system is fine, and it has been fine for millennia!"

"But it could be sooo much better!" She groaned. "Just trust me and fuse with me!" She cried out as she moved towards Blue.

"Violet, enough with this nonsense." Spoke White standing up with a frown. "You will forget something so utterly….revolting, immediately."

"No, never!" She shouted as she looked around before spotting Yellow's Pearl and grinned. "In fact, I'm gonna do it now!" She shouted before leaning down and snatching up the pearl.

"Wah! My Diamond!" she yelled out making Yellow stand up.

"Violet! Put her down, now." She glared holding a hand up with it glowing.

"Mmmm, not yet." She said with a grin as she began to spin. "Fuse with me Pearl!"

"I'd rather not!"

"Pearl, this is a direct order from a Diamond, fuse with me!"

"Pearl don't you dare!" Yellow ordered. "I forbid you from fusing!"

"No, do it!"

"Don't do it!"

"DO IT!"

"DON'T!"

"ENOUGH!" Yelled out Blue, letting out her own blue beam that hit Violet, sending her crashing against the wall. "Violet, you have gone too far this time!"

"Oooh…." Violet groaned, dropping Yellow Pearl on the floor whose eyes rolled around in her head.

"This is the last straw, she can't stay here anymore!" Yellow shouted in anger as she got up and moved forward before picking her Pearl up.

"I completely agree. She will be banished, along with the silly idea of fusing with different gems." Spoke White.

"Agreed, as long as I live there will be none of that in our empire!" Yellow declared before the feed cut.

"Wow… that did not age well." Admitted Yellow Diamond as Blue looked down.

"I never would have imagined what we said would come back to prove us so wrong." White sighed fondly as she shook her head. "Oh how things have changed."

"Garnet would have gotten along with her." Steven muttered to himself. "So, who uh… who's next? Was it a diamond who shattered people, wanted to encourage organic life, or what about them wanting to stop expanding the empire?"

"No, the next one forgot she was a diamond."

"Wait...really?" Steven asked as the screen started up. "That one doesn't sound so bad."

"And it wasn't, but there were several problems that came with that."

The screen flickered to show a squad of Rubies marching in line down the hall. They kept marching, unaware they were being watched before a figure leapt out from behind the corner and began to march behind them.

"Come on you pebbles! I wanna see those knees go higher!"

"Sir yes sir!" The Rubies cried out.

"Sir yes sir!" Called the newcomer, making them all pause.

"Wait a second." the leader turned and raised her finger. "1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Huh, that's odd. We have one extra." She said as she looked at the new figure and began to tilt her head up… and up…. And up. "Wait… M-My Diamond!"

The others turned and jumped before quickly doing the salute as the tall figure looked confused and around.

"There's a Diamond around? Where?"

"Y-You're the diamond!" She cried, the figure revealed to be a pale figure with a beige diamond in her cheek, with her being as tall as Yellow Diamond, and she had a short pixie bob hair cut, with a plain pair of jeans and flannel shirt on, and nothing else.

"I am?" She looked surprised while pointing at herself. "I don't feel like a Diamond."

"Well it's true, my Diamond." She said nervously. "Y-You should get back to your duties, right?"

"Well, I think I'm good here, I feel a bit like a Ruby right now." She said as the Rubies paled.

The Ruby squad looked at each other confused right as a Peridot came hovering past, looking over some data on an info pad.

"Hmmm, so far the data is as predicted, but still, I do need that report fro-" She started before bumping into the diamond. "Hey, watch it!"

"Oops, sorry." She said as the Peridot looked up and paled as she realized who she just bumped into and insulted.

"I-I'm sorry, that was my fault!" she yelped, dropping the pad and making the salute. "Forgive me my Diamond!"

"It's ok… say, is it fun being a Peridot?" She asked, not seeing the Rubies quickly running away, abandoning the Peridot.

"Uh...w-what do you mean by that?"

"Well you see, it's been oh so long since I've been one that I've forgotten, it might be fun to try it again." She said cheerfully, making the Peridot pale. "So do you mind helping me relearn it?"

"P-Perhaps a Jasper would be more exciting."

"No, I was one last week, besides, I wanna be green again." She said with a grin as the Peridot began to back up nervously.

"Or or or! There's always an Agate. I think I saw one just around the corner, I'll go-" She started before the Diamond's hand lashed out and grabbed her as her eyes began to glow dangerously.

"No, I want to be a Peridot~" She sang as the gem cried out, slowly going pale while the Diamond began to gain the tiny gem's color. "Just close your eyes and it'll be over before you know it~"

"N-No, please, no!" She cried as she began to lose her color, her Gem beginning to shake as well.

"Don't worry, it's almost over." She said with a smile as the Peridot let out one last gasp before her form broke up and her gem began to disappear into the Diamond's body. She hummed and stood up, looking at her green hands. "Ah, now then, time to do what Peridots do."

"W-What… what did she just do?" Steven asked as the feed ended, feeling horrified.

"She absorbed a gem, she seemed to be fond of doing that." replied Yellow crossing her arms. "She had a terrible knack of forgetting she was a Diamond, and would go off to absorb other gems to try and be like them."

"S-So she fused with them?"

"No, not at all, she would absorb the gem, and gain the skills, colors, and in some cases personalities of the gems, and the gems she absorbed would be destroyed completely." Blue said sadly. "Unfortunately this effect only lasted for a few days, so as soon as she was back to normal she would go look for a new gem."

"She was a danger to all of us, reason enough to banish her." Spoke White with a frown. "She could have easily tried that with us, so we had to be rid of her before she thought of it."

"Wow…" Steven said, still in shock. "And… was she the last one?"

"No, there was one more before we created Pink." replied Blue as the screen flickered. "Although this one was actually relatively harmless compared to Plaid Diamond."

"Yes, she was just such a clutz, watch this." Yellow said as the feed started up once more.

Steven watched as a Pearl was seen looking at something off screen, she had a translucent ballgown-style dress on, light greenish skin with aqua green hair done up in a bun who was looking worried.

"My Diamond, you don't need to do this. Let me take care of it."

"No, no, it's fine, I'm a diamond and I should be able to do this on my own." grunted a voice before a slam was heard. "Oops! I can clean that up."

"Let me call up some Amethysts, they can clean this up easily."

"No, I got it, if I can rule a galaxy I can clean up a small me- oops." The voice called as a wall next to the Pearl shattered. "It's alright, I can get that taken care of easily."

"My diamond, please, just let me clean up this mess for you!"

"No Pearl! I am capable of many things, and this is nothing." The Figure called as they stepped through the wall, revealing a gem even taller than White diamond with sea green skin. She had dark aqua green hair that covered her eyes with fingerless gloves and high heeled shin length boots, with what looked like a toga over her body as she bent down to the pieces. "I'll have this all taken care of with plenty of time to spare."

"B-But my diamond, you've been trying to clean up this mess for a week, and it's only gotten bigger!" Spoke Pearl with anxiousness. "Please, as your pearl it's my job to assist in any and all tasks."

"Bah, forget about that, I am a diamond, it is necessary that I am capable of doing everything, and that includes cleaning up a minor mess!"

"A minor mess that has become a gigantic one." Muttered the pearl, which the camera picked up on.

"This mess problem just kept growing larger and larger until a fourth of Homeworld was rubble, her powers made her insanely powerful, so even a little bit of force against an object and it would break, and she was never good at controlling her strength to start with." spoke Yellow before they saw the diamond lift a huge piece of rock and walk over to the wall, not noticing a smaller one in her path.

"Watch out!" Cried Steven on impulse, only for them to see her trip on it, and yell out before letting the piece of debris go flying up into the air. The piece flew higher and higher before it began to fall down and fell down on the drone, crushing it and ending the feed.

"She was too stubborn to accept help, and even too blind to realize she was causing nothing but a mess." White sighed. "We had to eventually tell her she was being moved to a new location, we didn't want to know what she would do if she was really mad."

The camera went off with the screen going back up into the ceiling.

"So as you can see Steven, it took us numerous tries before Pink came to be." White sighed. "Luckily we made a nearly perfect Diamond when she was made and stopped trying to make new ones after her."

"So… all those diamonds are just sitting on a moon somewhere?"

"Yes, far far away from the planet." Sighed Yellow in relief. "With the whole war that went on, I had completely forgotten they existed."

"Well… shouldn't you give them another chance? I mean, how long has it been since they've been banished?" Steven asked curiously.

"Millennium." replied all three bluntly.

"Well, maybe they could have another chance." He suggested. "I mean, that's a lot of time to be on their own, far away from their home. Maybe they've taken the chance to think about things."

"Steven, didn't you just watch the same video as us? They're hopeless!" Yellow protested.

"I doubt a single one of them have come close to being real Diamonds, let alone realize how faulty they were." Spoke Blue.

"Well, they don't have to be diamonds now, right? They can just be themselves, and I'm sure if we help them learn why what they did was wrong, they'd fit right in!" Steven said with a smile as the other Diamonds looked at each other hesitantly. "Think of how happy they'd be to get another chance?"

"Steven… we love you, but…" Blue started slowly.

"That is an idiotic plan, they're staying banished." Yellow finished sternly.

"Agreed, especially given how much time has passed." Spoke White. "We've had a total of four diamonds as leaders of Homeworld. If too many came to pass, it would disrupt the balance."

"Isn't that kinda off since Zircon became the new official leader?"

"You still get what we're saying." Yellow huffed. "Besides, what do you suggest, we go collect them one by one and tell them homeworld has changed, please be nice?"

"Yes!"

"That would never work." White said as she shook her head. "It would only end in disaster."

"Come on, can't we give them a chance, please?" Pleaded Steven with his hands together. "You all got another chance to change."

"Yes, but that's different!" Yellow groaned. "Now then, let's just forget this nonsense, we still have to work out how long you'll be staying with us in exchange for learning about the failed diamonds."

Steven sighed before getting an idea and put his hands behind his head, turning his back to them. "Alright, I completely understand. I guess I'll just have to spend all that time with my thoughts, wondering on all the good they could have done if given the chance. How you all could help inspire the gems more than now by demonstrating how benevolent you are. Or maybe I'll just sit alone, by myself, feeling down about not getting a chance to see them in person."

"What? Steven, no!" Blue cried out, horrified. "You can't do that, it's ok they're banished, they wouldn't fit in!"

"And it would do no good. I guarantee you nothing good would come out of it." Spoke Yellow.

"I guess I'll never know for sure, oh woe is me." He sighed dramatically. 'I know this is playing dirty, but being punished for that long should be more than enough to have some time to think. They probably wanna come back just as much as anyone forced to leave home.'

"Steven, please just trust us on this, keeping them banished is for the best!"

"And nothing you say will change our mind." White said firmly.

"Are you sure?" He asked with a grin. 'I can think of a few things that will make them change their mind~'

"Yes." Yellow crossed her arms. "Now let's drop the subject."

"I'll stay for nine months."

Their eyes widened hearing that.

"Isn't that nearly a year?" Blue whispered to Yellow.

"Yes, it is… it's almost too good to be true…"

"Deal!" Spoke up White before the two could stop her.

"Great! Let's go get them!"

(Timeskip)

"Ahhhhh!" Screamed several aquamarines as they flew around in a panic.

"Come back! Just let me love you!"

"Hands off, I need a new ring!"

One of the many pearls got picked up by her legs and dangled upside down by Violet who smiled while holding a sapphire in her other hand. "Hi cutie, wanna have some new fun~?"

"L-Let me go!" She cried as the two began to glow.

"Don't worry, the feeling of fusion is a wondrous thing." She sighed as several agates ran as the plain diamond ran after them, her hands held out eagerly.

"Come back! I only want to experience what an agate is! It's been oh so long~!" She called eagerly. "I wonder if I absorb more than one of you it'll last longer?"

"AAAAAHHHHHH!"

"YOU CALL THIS A STATUE?! IT SHOULD BE OF ME!" Yelled Red Diamond, blasting a statue of a gem down while growling. "WHY AREN'T THERE ANY OF ME?! I WANT MY OWN STATUE TOO!"

"Statues are pointless, like everything they'll eventually crumble…" Black Diamond sighed as pieces of the statue rained down around her. "Just take me back to the moon…. To waste away to nothing…"

"Ah, it's good to be back here." sighed Orange Diamond looking around before holding her chin. "Or is it? Maybe that's just my memory playing tricks on me. Would that mean I'm sleeping or conscious?"

As she pondered whether anything around her was real, several rubies and peridots ran past her, only for a mangled, monstrous hand to shoot up from the ground in front of them and snatch a few.

"Someone call the jaspers!"

"Hey! We're trained in combat too ya know!" frowned a ruby.

"We need gems that can actually get the job done!" Called one of the Peridots before a green hand snatched her up. "AAAAHHH!"

"Hi, can you tell me where I can find a broom, I've seem to have made quite a mess." Asked Aqua Green Diamond looking around. "I need to get it all cleaned up, after all I AM a diamond." She said as she accidentally tightened her grip, making the Peridot poof. "Drats, that's the fifteenth gem that I poofed."

As this chaos went on, we see Yellow, Blue, and White looking down at Steven with crossed arms who looked embarrassed with his fingers poking together.

"So…. things may not have gone as planned…"

"I wonder where you got that idea from." Remarked Yellow facepalming.

"We did try to tell you Steven." remarked Blue shaking her head.

"Which means we'll have to fix things." Sighed White. "Let's get to banishing them."

'Maybe not everyone is savable.' thought Steven while an explosion was seen in the distance. 'Well, I'll have plenty of time to rethink about it for over half a year.'


	29. Chapter 29

List of oneshots part 4

chapter 29

An emo son who has a secret involving his dad.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

We find ourselves in what looked like a normal suburban neighborhood, over at a yellow house with it being early in the morning. The camera zooms towards a bedroom window with blinds covering the window, but a small gap was left open and it zooms past the gap.

Inside the room was mostly dark, lights off, but also because it was filled with all manner of gothic decorations. Then it focuses on a lone bed where the sound of someone snoring was heard under the blankets. The person had a pale hand dangling over the side and didn't realize their clock was just about...

Beep beep beep

To go off.

The person grumbles as the sound of the alarm clock rang, interrupting their peaceful sleep.

"Ugh...too tired..." The person spoke which was a masculine with a slight feminine tone.

Beep beep beep

"I know, I know already, I'm up!" they groaned before reaching over and knocked the clock over, making it hit the ground and turn off. "Finally."

The person slowly rose from the bed and let the blanket slide off them. It was shown to be a young man with messy black hair that covered his eyes, wearing a loose white shirt and small black shorts and was rather slim, who got up and walked to the bathroom.

As soon as he got out he was donned in a black sleeveless shirt with a picture of a skull, black pants with some purple stripes across the legs, a couple of studded wristbands along with black nail polish on his fingers. His hair covered his left eye while he yawned and walked out of his room.

'Fuck, last night was a rough one.' He walked down the stairs to the kitchen to make himself some food, opening the fridge he grabbed what he needed and began to cook. All the while he had bags under his eyes and was trying hard not to just go to sleep again.

He went to a party last night at a friends house, and drank a little too much to the point he had a hangover.

Once he finished making his food he walked over to the table, sat down and began to eat his foot when suddenly his ears picked up the sound of someone coming his way.

"Ugh...damn it, my back's killing me." The person who entered the kitchen was a man around 40 years of age, but still looked somewhat young enough as he had some whitish tint in his hair, his body was a lean-built shape while wearing only a robe over his body and some trunks.

"Morning dad." The boy greeted his father as he went to make some coffee.

"Morning David." he greeted with a yawn while filling up his mug and took a sip of relief. "Much better."

Harold or 'Hank' was his father's name, a single father to David after he and his wife got divorced when he discovered his wife cheating on him. And by cheating, we mean the kind with his best friend, the plumber, mail man, and essentially any guy she could get her hands on. It was from that moment Harold had enough and he and his ex-wife went their separate ways, while he gained custody of his only son.

Said son was drinking his milk with a bored expression.

"I take it you had a rough night last night?" His father asked while sitting down on the table.

"Meh, it was nothing." David shrugged while eating his French toast.

"You sure? Up late watching TV?"

"Uh, yeah, I was." he admitted looking at his eggs and bit into them.

"Hmm, well, just don't stay up too long young man. It's not good for you." advised the older man sitting down and biting into some toast while his son rolled his eyes.

"Whatever."

Harold looks at his son with concern. Ever since the divorcement between him and his wife, David's been very moody as of late, becoming an emo teenager always having this look of depression on his face. It also didn't help that his son would always say this wasn't a phase, as most would expect. But he knew that his son was hurting on the inside, like he was, he did love his wife he truly did, but that love faded when he caught her cheating on him. He reached over and patted David on the shoulder who looked up at him to see his dad with a smile. "It'll be alright son, I promise."

"I hope you're right, dad, I really do." he muttered looking at his plate and just kept on eating.

Harold sighs softly and saw the time on his clock. "Woah! I gotta get ready for work!" He quickly ate what was made, went back to his room to get dressed and was seen leaving out the door. "I'll be back tonight, be good!"

David sighed to himself and finished up his breakfast before going to his own room. Once inside his room he started playing music on his iPhone, landing on his bed with a sigh.

"This day is gonna be a huge bore." He said to himself while looking at a picture of him and his father. It showed his dad, same as he is, while David looked more happy than right now.

Ever since his mother cheated on his dad, David began to care for his father as much as possible, as time went by his love for his father soon grew stronger.

He looked over to a family photo his dad put up when he was a kid showing off the two of them and a smiling blond woman with her arm around his shoulder. He got up from his bed and walked over before taking it down and held the frame with a cold look in his eyes.

"Even a filthy slut can make a realistic smile when in front of the camera." he pulled the picture out with his hands gripping it tightly. "You whore...slut...fucking skank!" before he ripped her part from the picture and went to grab some matches from his desk. He lit one of the matches and held it under the picture of his former mother as it caught fire. He watched it burn and dropped it in the wastebasket, which was empty, and made sure it burned completely before flipping it the bird.

"That's what you'll get if I ever see you again, bitch." David snarled before collapsing on his bed again, burying his face in the pillow and heaving a heavy sigh. 'I wouldn't doubt all the other girls at school were just like her.'

Pulling his face out of the pillow, he stares at his father's picture as a pinkish hue appears on his cheeks. "Sometimes dad is too good for his own good." He utters to himself while feeling his member twitch. He looked down and gulped while looking at the picture, bit his lip, and started to slide his pants down. He felt his member grow hard when he pulled his underwear down, grabs it and slowly began to pump it.

"Fuck, I thought last night wore me out." He cursed while pumping his cock harder and faster. He stared at the photo while gritting his teeth, his dick growing harder. He lets out a moan or two as he kept on staring at the picture of his father and squeezing his cock harder. "Damn it...why did you have to be my dad? This makes it SO much harder to stop!" David grumbled to himself while gnawing on the pillow as he felt himself reaching his limit. "I-I'm cumming!" David grunted and felt his cock exploding, spraying his sperm out and coating his hand.

He groaned and laid his head on his pillow, enjoying the euphoric feeling. He panted lightly while wriggling his sperm coated fingers, feeling the seed slowly sliding downward.

With that he got up and went to grab the tissues he had nearby to clean himself up.

It has been going on like this for almost a whole year now, ever since he's been living with his father, his feelings are getting harder to control. So much so he's taken to nearly jerking it off almost all the time. Among other things...

"Oh, fuck, why did he have to be my dad? It just makes it even harder for me." he groaned before he went to grab his jacket. "I need to go for a walk."

He was last seen walking by himself through a park, trying to keep his mind off of his feelings for his father. He went to take a seat on a bench and let out a heavy sigh.

"Man, no matter how many times I try, I can't stop thinking of my dad that way." he grumbled looking at the sky. "The moment he finds out...I don't even wanna finish that thought."

He was worried on how to come to terms with his feelings with his father, and trying to figure out how to tell him slowly without freaking him out.

"Maybe I could pretend to be a secret admirer for a few months...nah that's stupid." David shook his head while tapping his chin. "Maybe make some dinner and try to give a few hints?"

"Sup dude!"

David heard someone calling out to him, snapping him out of his train of thought and turned to see someone walking towards him. It was a man with blond hair covering both eyes with an open red vest, six pack abs, ripped jeans, and with biker gloves.

"Hey Mike." David greeted.

Mike Burnette is a long childhood friend of David's, and has been through thick and thin with him for a very long time, especially with the divorce of his parents.

"Man bro, seeing you out on a day like this? Is the apocalypse coming?" joked the blond.

"No, it's nothing like that. Just...having a little problem is all." David said with a sigh.

"Running low on mascara?"

"Fuck you."

Mike raised his hands in mock surrender. "Ok, ok, don't bite my head off."

"Shouldn't you be plowing some airhead in a bathroom?" David questioned with his eyes slightly narrowed.

"Already did, plus her sister." he chuckled before sitting next to David. "So, what's really got you in the dumper?"

"It's personal." David said with a frown edged on his face.

Mike raised a brow and leans a bit close. "Come on man, you can tell me, what's eatin' you?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"Try me man. Otherwise I ain't gonna stop buggin' you till you spill."

David huffed and crossed his arms. "You'd think I'm nuts."

"David, you've been more down in the dumps for a long time, and I'm just trying to help you man."

"I know, but as soon as you learn you'd think I'm more creepy than usual."

"Please, there ain't anything more creepier than you that would weird me out."

David looked at Mike in the eye and raised his hair up from his other eye. "I want my dad like you want girls."

Mike's brows shot up as he stared at his friend with a stunned face. "You...you mean you're...gay?"

"Yes."

Mike blinked three times before rubbing his head. "Damn, man. When did you start feeling like that?" He asked.

"After my bitch of a mom divorced him." David said with a deep frown at the mention of his mother.

"For how long?" Mike asked.

"Two years." David answered with a sigh.

"So you've been thinking of your old man that way, for two whole years?"

"Yeah."

"And you're worried about how he'll react if he found out?"

"Well duh. How do you think he's gonna react to the idea of his son having it bad for him?" David retorted.

"Right, right, fair point." He held up his hands. "But it can't be too bad. I mean it's not like you masturbate to him."

This made David freeze like a statue as his eyes went wide. Mike saw this and immediately connected the dots.

"...you did, didn't you?"

This made David blush and slumps down to hide his face.

"Damn..." Mike breathed out with wide eyes. "Didn't think you'd had it in you to jerk off to your old man."

"Don't go saying it out loud or someone might hear." David quietly snapped at his friend, not wanting anyone within earshot to hear them.

"Well, I mean at least that's all you've done, right?"

David blush but didn't deny it and slowly nods, feeling even more embarrassed to even admit it to his friend. 'As far as you know.'

"Have you tried looking up porn?"

David slowly nod. "I have and it was still not enough."

"Hmm...I got it! I could take you to one of the clubs I went to." smiled the blond getting a deadpanned look in return.

"I'm not going to pay some stranger to blow me." David mumbles loudly.

"Then I honestly have no idea on how to help you there, dude." Mike shrugs. "Either come clean, or wait until you get over it."

David slumps his head even lower. "It's not that easy man! What if my dad will hate me if I outright tell him?"

"Come on, he can't hate you, he's your dad."

"Still I don't know how to tell him."

"Want me to do it?" Mike suggested.

David glares at him. "Do that and I'll strangle you."

"Just offering. Otherwise you'll be awkward around him all your life. Either that or until you get a sugar daddy."

David sighed heavily and buries his face in his hands in depression. "This sucks more than puberty."

"I'm sure you'll figure it out man. Just try and hang in there." he patted the emo's back and stood up. "I gotta go somewhere, I heard there were three cute triplets and I wanted to get their numbers before they leave."

With that said, Mike had already taken off before David could even say anything and left him alone once more.

"Douchebag." David said under his breath and began walking aimlessly again.

(Later)

It was now nighttime as David and his father were at home, his father had just gotten back home late from work, and was already sleeping in.

David himself was standing outside his room, fiddling with his fingers and biting his lip. 'Oh man, I really hope nothing bad happens.' He gulped and slowly started to open the door ever so quietly. He peeks through the door and saw his father's sleep form, snoring peacefully after a day's work in the office. He took a deep breath and began to walk in. He quietly tiptoed in his father's room, being as quiet as a mouse so he wouldn't wake him by accident, came up to the edge of the bed and slowly pulled the blankets off.

When he saw his dad in just his underwear he nearly started drooling. He slowly gulped and reached for his father's underwear, taking great care to not wake him up when he started pulling the cloth down, and exposing his member. Said member was halfway hard and was thicker than his own arm.

David gawked at the sight of his dad's near hard-on cock, and felt his mouth watering. 'It stays huge no matter how much I see it.' David moves his hands over and gently grasps the cock, in his hands it was hard and rigid, almost like he was grabbing a pole. He licked his lips and began to slowly rub it, feeling it throb and grow harder in his grip. It pulsated in his grasp which only made him pump it a little faster. He felt his throat go dry and moved his head closer, catching a whiff of the musk coming off it. 'I don't think I can wait any longer!' with that he opened his mouth and started to rub his tongue against the side.

He lightly cooed at the taste of his father's cock and slowly dragged his tongue across it. 'It's so sweaty and warm.' David slowly engulfs his father's cock in his mouth and begins to bop his head up and down. He reached down to rub the bulge in his underwear, moaning around the girth and using his other hand to squeeze and rub his ass.

'Oh shit...no matter how many times I've done this...it still tastes so damn good~" he thought, swirling his tongue around the tip. His hand went for his father's balls, slowly fondling them around in his palm and lightly squeezing them.

Said father lightly groaned while sleeping, but didn't stop the good sensation he was feeling.

David felt pre oozing from the tip and continued licking all over the head. The more he licked the harder his dick grew. David started suckling on his father's cock like a teat, wanting to drink his dad's hot juice.

The man on the other hand groaned louder, his hand reaching out and touching the head he envisioned in his dream, urging whoever was sucking him to go farther.

David happily obliged his father's wish and sucked on him even harder and faster. 'Come on come on come on!' David inwardly chanted until finally he was rewarded by a full blast of his father's seed. "Mmmm!" David moans blissfully, swallowing gulp after gulp of his father's seed. It was thick and creamy, making him feel his dick get close itself from his rubbing. He slowly pulls himself off his father's cock, swirls the sperm in his mouth, and then swallows it.

"Oh fuck, this stuff is addicting." he grumbled, feeling like he was gonna explode any second. He started to pull his pants down all the way to free his dick, crouching down and spread his old man's ass and spotted his anus. Using his own saliva to lube around his cock, David placed the tip at the entrance and slowly pushed it in. He tried to keep it together, but feeling the tight vice of the ass was making that nearly impossible. 'Shit! No matter how many times I do this, it gets tighter and tighter!'

His dad let out a snore while his son pushed back and forth, biting his lip. It took him every ounce of control to not moan too loudly, otherwise his father would wake up, but it was so hard not to moan.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!" David softly exclaimed while unknowingly increasing his speed. "Why did you have to have such a tight ass dad? It makes things so much harder!"

At this point David was losing himself to the pleasure, and began to rock his hips. Becoming a blur as his dick was twitching like mad. It wasn't until his cock exploded flooding his father's insides with his seed.

"DAD!" He unknowingly yelled out as he climaxed which was enough to wake his father from his slumber.

'Huh? What's going on...and why do I feel something warm going up my ass?' He looked down and his eyes snapped wide open when he saw David panting heavily.

"Oh god...that was...amazing..."

"David? What. Is going. On?"

David's eyes snapped open as he saw his father awake and instantly started sweating up a storm. "D-D-Dad! Y-Y-You're awake?"

"Yeah, and you don't have your pants on."

'S-S-SHIT! What am I gonna do now!?' he thought, going frozen still while his dad noted his own dick felt wet.

"...David...what's the meaning of this?"

"Uh...would you believe it's a dream?" David said with a very uneasy smile, hoping that his father would believe him. Sadly it was for naught.

"Not one bit." Harold said with a deep frown edged on his face, which only dashed any hope David had for trying not to get caught.

"I...I...I..." David tried to speak, but felt his lip tremble as he teared up and fell down on the floor, curled up and started crying. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, oh fuck I messed up..."

Harold looks at his son with a concerned expression and kneels beside him. "Son, would you mind telling me exactly what's going on?"

"...you'll hate me." David felt a hand on his shoulder and saw his father's concerned face once more.

"Son, please, tell me what this is all about."

"...ok." From there David began to tell his father everything, all the while praying that his father would understand gis feelings for him, and not abandon him. His dad stared at him with a neutral expression as David fiddled with his fingers and looked down.

"...I...I have no idea on what to say." admitted the father rubbing his head. "I...honestly never expected something like this in my lifetime."

"I...I'm sorry for not telling you, dad." David uttered. "It's just...after mom left us, I was so angry with her that I wanted to forget all about her, and then I started having these...feelings for you. I didn't even tell you because I wasn't so sure how you'd react to my feelings."

Hank let out a heavy sigh and looked at his son, who looked ready to break down. He raised his hand up and moved it down, with David closing his eyes.

'I knew it! He's gonna hit me!' Instead of a hit he felt his father's hand running through his hair, and looked up to see his father smiling lovingly at him.

"It's alright David. Dry your eyes."

"Y-Y-You mean...y-you're not..."

"Mad? No. Surprised? Very."

"But...but...how?! Why? How are you not mad from learning all that?!" David asked, feeling very confused about his father not being mad at him.

"Well for one, it's kinda flattering. Weird as it sounds I know, but...I guess I've been feeling like no one really found me all that hot after the divorce." Harold said while rubbing the back of his neck. "I just didn't think the person who would find me attractive, would be my own son."

Said emo blushed and looked down, still forgetting he had his pants down.

"And second? Because your mouth was pretty good." Harold said with a smirk forming on his mouth.

His son went wide eyed and looked up at his eyes, and found his shoulders grabbed.

"In fact, why don't you get back to sucking on daddy's rod with more feeling?"

David blinked three times before looking down at his dad's cock, and then dove back into it with more zeal this time.

"Woah! You're really eager for it aren't ya?" Harold chuckles while placing his hand on his son's head, and ran his fingers through his locks. "Who knew my emo of a son was secretly a slut underneath."

David moans to his father's words while fondling his balls in his hand, licking all over the tip and stroking his cock. 'I feel so alive! I don't have to hide how I feel anymore! I wanna choke on this monster!' David inwardly exclaimed with joy, having finally getting the chance to live out his dream of sucking on his father's cock with him acknowledging his feelings.

'Holy shit! Just how often did he do this? He's going down on me like a pro.' Harold thought to himself while throwing his head back and moaning loudly. "Oh fuck yeah!"

David bobs his head faster and faster until finally he was rewarded with his father's sperm flooding his mouth. 'Oh hell yes!'

Harold held his son on his cock as he continued to pump his seed in his mouth, it went on for a few seconds before he finally lets go and sighs in relief. "Oh Damn...that was...Fucking hot." Harold breathed out with a smile. "I wonder how tight you'll feel on my dick~"

"You mean...you're gonna..."

Harold nods and motions his son to turn around to show his ass at him.

Which the emo did with a blush. David felt his father groping his ass which made him moan out, and felt his cheeks being spread apart, exposing his hole.

"Damn, who knew I'd get excited to stuff my own kid's ass." Harold chuckles before placing his cock in between David's cheeks, and thrusts his member in and out, practically hotdogging his cock. "I'll bet you've had dreams of having my meaty rod stuffed inside this little but, haven't you?" Harold grinned while squeezing his son's ass, earning himself a moan from David. "Go on, beg me like the little slut you are."

"Please...please put it in my ass, daddy~"

"Good boy." With one quick thrust, Harold rams his cock in his son's ass and began to pound him like a drum.

"Ahhhhhhh~!" David moans loudly while his arms buckled under him and felt his father pinning him on the bed.

"That's right! Moan like the slut you really are! You've been craving my dick for so long, so I'm gonna give it to you hard and rough!" Harold exclaimed while roughly ramming his member with the grace of a jackhammer.

"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!" David moaned blissfully as his eyes were rolled to the back of his head.

"That's right! Scream it!" Harold grinned while gripping his son's hips harder.

"DADDY!" David howled at the top of his lungs as he felt his father unleashing his seed in his ass.

"TAKE IN EVERY DROP YOU SLUT!" Harold shouted while holding onto his son, making sure to fill him up with every bit of his seed.

David stuck his tongue out while cumming all across the floor.

After what felt like forever it was finally over and Harold pulled himself out, squirting a few times before sighing heavily. He let go of David who fell forward on the floor with a cross eyed look as he tried to get his breath, a dopey smile across his face.

Harold brought his son into his arms before capturing David in a kiss, which his son mewls while wrapping his arms around him. When he broke it his son gave a goofy smile.

"Fuck...night night." before passing out from exhaustion.

Harold smiles and gave one last kiss on his son's cheek. "Good night, my little slut." He said before falling asleep as well.

(Timeskip)

A month had passed since David's confession to his father Harold, after that both father and son had grown closer than ever before, spending time with each other while making sweet love to each other. Of course they still focused on school and work to keep up appearances with David keeping up the edgy emo image to his pal, who had asked about what he told him.

"So, did you and your dad...you know...?"

"None ya business." he remarked while sipping from a soda as they sat outside a gas station.

"Aw come on man. You trust me to tell me your big secret, but give me the cold shoulder like that?" Mike complains while placing an arm on his friend's shoulder. "C'mon, tell me please!"

"Tch, I don't gotta tell you anything." David said while removing Mike's arm from him. "I don't plan on telling you or anyone else for the matter."

"...that's code for you did it, ain't it?" Mike said with a teasing grin and wiggling his eye brows, which earned him an annoyed look on David's face.

"Shut up."

"Damn man! Now I gotta ask, who's bigger?" asked Mike before standing up and moved to lower his pants. This only earned him a smack on his head from an irate David.

"Don't make me hurt you, Mike." David growled under his breath.

"Aw come on, what's wrong with giving me an idea for a comparison?"

"That's a need to know only. So just do me a favor and drop it."

"Awwww, you're so cold dude."

"Quit your crying you baby." David looked at his phone and stood up. "Gotta go, dad's making supper." With that he bolted to the nearest bus and got on before Mike could even say anything.

"Uh...ok, see ya?"

It was now nighttime as both Harold and David were seen having dinner... a rather hot and juicy type of dinner. David was on the table, naked, with several foods laid out across him.

Harold started off with his son's nipples, which were coated in whip cream and a cherry on top. He dragged his tongue across them to get the cream, making him shiver and swirl around the spot. He ran his tongue all over David's chest, coating it in a mix of his saliva and whip cream, while stroking his son's cock which was covered in a banana skin.

"Ahhh~" David breathed out with a flustered face and a blissful smile on his lips as he felt his father kissing against his skin.

"Careful, try not to get too excited at the dinner table." Harold said while groping his son's balls. "Don't wanna make a mess on it now."

"S-Sorry." David breathed out.

Harold pulled the banana skin off his son's cock and began to lick all over it, starting from the balls and working his way to the top.

David bit his lip and tried his best not to moan. But it was becoming so hard not to moan to his father's magical touch, it was enough to send shivers racing across his body. That's when his dad started to suck on his nipples to try and get the cherries. David almost arches his back when his father placed a hand on him to keep him flat on the table, and licks up the cherries.

"Mmm, sweet." Harold smirks while licking the whip cream from his lips. I bet your little black cherry will taste even sweeter~"

"G-Go ahead and taste it yourself." David offers while spreading his legs apart.

"Oh, I will." grinned Harold before moving down and started to swirl his tongue around the tip.

David moaned and gripped the edges of the table while his father was eating out of him. "Ahhhh dad~!"

Harold bobs his head up and down on his son's cock, playing with his balls sack and giving it a gentle squeeze.

"AHHHHH~!" David exclaimed while shooting his seed in his father's mouth.

Said man slurped it all up like a straw. Harold pulls away and swallows his son's seed, licking any left in his mouth. "Now that's some good frosting." Harold smiles while his own cock is rigid and dripping with pre. "Time for your dinner now." He then goes up to his son's face and then rams his cock deep into David's mouth, thrusting his hips with the grace of a jackhammer. "I've got a big helping, all for you to slurp down!"

David moans around his father's cock, slurping all over it with his tongue as it was going deeper and deeper down his throat. 'Yes! Feed me more!'

Harold gripped his son's head and gave even more stronger thrusts. "Open wide!" Harold exclaimed as he shot out a large amount of sperm in his son's mouth, flooding it with a lake's worth of seed.

"Mmmmmm!" David moans loudly while swallowing his dad's spunky load and squirting his own seed once more. 'Sooo goooood~' David mewls while slowly licking all over his father's cock as it was being pulled out.

"Someone's a hungry boy." Harold grinned while moving downward and spreading his son's legs again, exposing his ass. "Hope you're ready for seconds~"

"P-Please." David pleaded to his father wanting to be fucked senseless once more.

"Please what?"

"Please fuck me daddy! Fuck me like the little whore I am!"

"Good boy." Harold said right before he grabs his son's hips and rams his cock inside his ass. He didn't waste any time as he started to hammer in and out of the snug hole, making his son howl out with wide eyes.

"OH, DADDY, OH DADDY~!"

"That's right, cry out like the slut you are!"

The whole dining room was filled with the sounds of father and son moaning, skin smacking skin and the table rattling. The dick stretched hole open over and over with it gripping the girth like a vice.

David felt his mind turning to mush, his eyes rolling to the back of his head and his insides tightened around his dad's cock.

"Fuck yeah! Now this is some real desert! Forget ice cream, chocolate, or pie, nothing tastes sweeter than a nice tight ass just aching to get stuffed!" Harold grins while increasing his ramming speed. "Get ready for your creamy filling!" With one strong thrust he unloads a much larger amount of sperm in his son's ass.

"DADDYYYYYYYY!" David howls at the top of his lungs as his belly slightly bloated from the large amount of sperm being pumped into him.

(Later)

David was seen at his usual spot in the park, his father was at work today so he had to wait on him once again. He had been on his phone, completely absorbed in it and not noticing Mike nearby who spotted him and smirked.

"Hey, Dave, how ya doing?" He called out with his smirk growing wider.

David jumped and turned as Mike got closer, only for him to stop and go wide eyed.

"Dude? What's with the new look?"

The outfit that David wore was high heeled leather boots, short shorts, a short grey tank that show's his shoulder, a bra strap and has longer hair now.

"Dude? What the..." Mike blinked dumbfounded by his friend's clothing.

"I just decided on a change of clothing, so what?" David huffs while crossing his arms.

"David, you look like a chick."

"So? My dad doesn't seem to mind my new change in style."

"Wait, you mean your dad got you in that?" Mike asked in surprise. "So...does that mean...he...and you are..."

"Yes, we fucked." replied David bluntly rolling his eyes.

Mike stared at him wide eyed and his jaw hanging to the point of wanting to fall to the ground. "You...him...holy shit!"

"Yeah, I started banging him one night, he woke up and caught me, and then I told him everything."

"I...I...wow, I figured you were gonna get with someone else and get a sugar daddy, but to actually do it? Damn." Mike breathed out while sitting down beside David. "I mean I knew you had a thing for your dad, but I didn't think it would go that far."

"Well it did." David said with a hint of pride in his tone with a small smile on his lips.

"...now I REALLY gotta know who's bigger, me or him."

"Drop your pants and I'll rip your dick off." David snarled with his fist close to Mike's face.

Mike quickly raised his hands in defeat with a nervous smile. "Joke! I was joking!"

"You better be." David said before pulling his fist away and sitting back down in a huff. "I swear, Mike, you never know when to shut up."

"It's part of my charm." Mike said while shrugging his arms. "Besides, you know you can't get rid of me that easily!"

"Unless there was a hot girl nearby." David said with a small smirk.

"Well, you got me there, but hey what can you do? I mean you're already your dad's playboy after all." teased Mike making his friend flip him off. "Honestly dude you pass for a chick spot on. If I didn't know it was you I probably would have tried to get your number."

"And I'd probably break your nose after rejecting you." That's when David heard him get a text on his phone. He pulled his phone out and saw it was a text from his father, saying that he'll be having a whole week off from work. He grinned hearing that and texted back with Mike watching.

"So, your sugar daddy calling you?" This earned him a good smack on the face from an irate David.

"Shut up!"

"I'll take that as a yes." Mike groans while rubbing his nose. 'I think you just broke it...'

"I gotta head back home." David said before getting up and bolting to the nearest bus stop, leaving Mike alone to tend to his wounded nose.

"Damn, his ass really does stick out in those." Mike mumbles while checking for blood from his nose.

(later that night)

"Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Daddy!" David moaned as he was leaning over the bed with his father ramming his hips non-stop.

"Come on, moan louder slut!" Harold exclaimed while smacking his son's ass repeatedly and thrusting even harder.

"DADDY!" cried out David, gripping the sheets while a ring was seen on his hand.

Both father and son howled in unison as they reached their climax and Harold flooded his son's insides, while David soaked the sheets with his seed.

"AHHHHHH!"

After what felt like forever it finally stops, and both of them let out a much needed breath.

David was pinned against the bed while Harold patted his head.

"Keep in mind, if you ever consider leaving like your whore of a mother, I'll fuck you until you can't live without my cock."

David panted heavily while slowly turning to meet his father's eyes. "I...I have no intention...of leaving you...d-daddy~"

"Good little slut." Harold smirked before wrapping his son in his arms, and rolled into the bed, cuddling him like a stuffed bear. "Get some sleep David, cause tomorrow I expect to see you in nothing but an apron while you make breakfast."

"I will daddy, and I promise to make you a breakfast you won't forget~" smiled David while growing comfy and looked at the ring on his hand with a grin. 'I'll make sure you're happy for the rest of your life, make you feel incredible, and if I EVER see that whore again? I might just go ahead and bust her nose right open while I'm at it.'

From that day forward both father and son had become even closer than ever before, and there's nothing that's gonna change that for them.


	30. Chapter 30

List of oneshots part 4

chapter 30

A new warlock gets it on with his demonic cousins

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Three drunk women of similar bust size, but different eye colors and hair colors try singing karaoke as a young man patiently sits on the couch behind them.

"Sweet home alamabama~"

"No Gifty, it's Arabanna." Said a blonde woman with heterochromia eyes, one blue eye on the left and a brown eye on the right. She wore a big black dress.

"Right, what was I thinking Mindy?" Replied the albino woman who also had a big black dress. "Lulu, wanna try singing?"

"Finally, I really wanted to start us off but you both said no~" Said the red haired woman with grey eyes who...also had a big black dress.

"Um...aunties? If this is it for lessons, can I go and sleep now?" Asked the bald teen boy with black eyes, blue hawaiian shirt, black pants and black sandals.

"Huh!?" All 3 aunts turned to him.

"Oh, Alonzo, I forgot you were there." Said Aunt Mindy. "Sure thing kid, nighty night."

"Finally." he sighed getting up and dragged himself off. "I'm bushed."

"Wait!" Spoke up Aunt Gifty.

"Uh, yeah?"

"You know what's going on tomorrow right?" Asked Aunt Lulu.

"My 16th birthday?"

"And, the day our daughters come home and you gotta choose which one you'll have to make a pact with so you can finally be a warlock, a male witch!" Said Aunt Mindy.

"Holy shit! I completely forgot!"

"Yep, you ready to commit incest with them?"

"Hell yeah I can't wait!"

*The next day...*

"I can't do this!" he cried out pacing while holding his head. "I'm not ready!"

"Where did the cold feet come from?" Said all 3 aunts looking at the ceiling.

"I can't help but think about how all of this could blow up in my face!"

That's when a car stopped outside their house.

"THEY'RE HERE! AAAAAAAAAH!" Screamed Alonzo.

"He definitely got that annoying screaming from our little brother." Said Aunt Lulu.

"Oh big time."

Then instead of a knock or a ring of the doorbell, the door just exploded into flames!

"Seriously Emily? We just replaced that door!" Said Aunt Gifty.

"Sorry mom." Said a succubus with pink skin and horns, blue eyes, blue hair, razor sharp teeth, grey sports bra and black shorts. She had claws, talons and a hooked tail. She was also a D cup, almost an E cup like her mother.

"Zurg! What happened to training our daughter on manners while in hell?"

"Sorry Gifty, you daughter takes after me!" Said an incubus with pink skin, horns and blue hair and eyes. He wore a green and white tracksuit.

"I told you to try and fix that."

"Mom!" Then a blue Oni shoved Emily out of the way! She wore black biker clothes, with her small shirt showing off her abs, she had short black hair with a red streak in it. She wielded an iron club. Her chest was muscular but still as big as her mother's.

"Hiroshi! Our daughter Himari was very rude, shoving Emily like that!" Said Aunt Mindy.

"Sorry Mindy, but I was busy drinking more than actually parenting." Said a blue oni with a black mohawk, green shirt, blue biker pants.

"That's no fucking excuse you idiot."

"Yeesh, you tell me that, miss sailor mouth over here." he grumbled before taking a swig from a bottle.

"Uh...hi mother." Greeted a yellow dragonewt with a cream sweater covering her F cup breasts. She had a black skirt and white fuzzy boots.

"Wow Hildegard, you're very polite." Said Aunt Lulu.

"Yes, after all the death threats you sent to dad."

"Hello beloved, I have returned." Said a green dragon with glasses, and a black suit with red tie. "Seems death threats DO work every so often."

"So, where is the son of your brother anyways?" Asked Zurg.

"Right here." Said Aunt Mindy as she levitated him into the living room. "Here he is."

"Ooooh, even cuter than the photo."

"So...you're the son of Jacob?" Asked Hiroshi.

"Y-yep...heheh...the very same Jacob that beat all 3 of you guys in basketball by himself." Alonzo was sweating. "But you don't hate him right? You guys were trying to kill all life at the time..."

"Well I'd be lying if I did say he didn't make me wanna gut him like a fish." Hiroshi and the others joked.

"But he's gone now. May his soul have peace in heaven." Said the green dragon.

"Hey! We don't say stuff like that. We use proper words like real demons thank you very much."

"Yeah, but my wife can kick my ass, unlike your wives."

"Damn straight, Greenie." Said Aunt Lulu.

"So Alonzo Grey, which of your cousins get the honor of making the pact for your warlock powers? Then again you could always marry all 3." Said Greenie.

"Uh, uh..."

Emily blew a kiss, Himari winked, Hildegard lifted her skirt a little.

"Sorry everyone, but our nephew suddenly got cold feet." Said Aunt Gifty.

"Cold feet? Over what?" Asked all 3 uncles.

"Incest..." replied Alonzo.

"What? You mean he's backing out over THAT? That's nothing." Uncle Zurg laughed off.

"Yeah, come on Alonzo, sweetheart. We even committed incest with your grandpa when we were your age." Said Aunt Mindy. "No big deal."

"It's the blood of Jacob Grey that's making him hesitate right now." Concluded Uncle Zurg.

"Oooh, let us 3 try corrupting his mind!" Said Emily!

"Yeah!" Hildegard and Himari cheered.

"Well, you did come back from hell with the intention of marrying you off to Alonzo anyways, knock yourself out." Said Aunt Mindy

Then all 4 kids were kicked out of the house!

"Have fun!" Said Aunt Lulu. "Now then guys, let us show you how much we missed you after Jacob sent you and the kids back to hell."

"No need to say, we came prepared with plenty of lotion."

"Now that Jacob is dead we can finally raise an army and take over this world!" Said Greenie.

'Geez, they act like Jacob is the only hero that ever existed.' All 3 aunts thought before getting tackled to the floor!

Then as the sounds of moaning could be heard, Alonzo found himself swarmed by the girls on the ground.

"Heheh...hey girls...so uh...I only heard about my dad sending you and your dads to Hell...did they ever tell you the story?"

"Yep." Said Emily before all 4 got up.

"I wanna tell the story." Said Hildegard, clearing her throat. "Ahem! That night, it started with the skies raining blood as us 3 were born!"

"The earth shook with the animals screaming in horror!"

Alonzo shivered.

"When we got out of those vaginas, our dads then used our dark magic energy to unleash destruction! Blizzards and meteor showers at the same time! Clothes turned sentient, eating whomever was wearing them! A giant salami sandwich with tentacles for no reason but then again, it's chaos, when does chaos ever need a reason." That's when Hildegard reached around to grope Alonzo's ass.

"Eep! What are you doing!?"

"As I said chaos doesn't need reasoning."

"Well to me it needs SOME reasoning!"

"We're gonna be fucking sooner or later anyways, just let us sample the goods." Said Emily.

"Uh...look! An angel!" he pointed to the sky.

"Hah! Nice try, if angels were here, then that would mean God would finally give humanity a hand." Said Himari before all 3 girls laughed it off.

Eventually all 4 teens found their way to a convenience store.

"I'm a bit snackish right now actually." Said the girls.

"Okay, but no devouring of human souls or human flesh right?"

"Of course not." Then Himari gave him a friendly dig in the arm.

"Ow!"

"Himari, this is our fiance, careful with your oni strength." Said Hildegard.

"Hey, that's nothing compared to when I get horny." she laughed.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Alonzo Gray, struttin around thinking he so cool because his daddy saved us all." Said an obnoxious voice.

"Octavio and Thadeus...ugh..."

Octavio was the average sized teen with black bowl cut, and purple rich person clothes while Thadeus was the taller teen spiky red head with an orange shirt and red kilt.

"Ooooh who are these girls? Groupies?"

"No, we're his cousins." Replied Emily.

"C...cousins?" He asked worried. "Heheh...d-don't be silly. If that were true then all the hard work y-your father and his friends have done to save all of humanity has b-been for naught."

"Y-yeah, there's no way you 3 are the daughters of Zurg, Hiroshi and Greenie." Added Thadeus.

"Oh? Care to test us?"

"We are their daughters and they are here." Then they materialized a magic mirror showing Zurg, Hiroshi and Greenie drenching and filling Gifty, Mindy and Lulu with their seed.

"Aaaaah!" Screamed Alonzo.

"Alright ladies, get your bikinis on, it's time for the cum kiddie pool." Said Zurg.

"Oh you kinky bastard~"

"AAAAAAH, they're back! The end has coooome!" Octavio and Thadues screamed before running away.

"Yeah you better run!" Himari called.

"Thanks girls."

"You're welcome cousin!" They all hugged him close, breasts pressing against him.

He tensed up and broke into a cold sweat feeling the six bountiful beauties.

"You like this don't you?" Asked Emily.

"Yes...but...I still don't wanna do it."

All 3 sighed.

Later after snacks we see all 4 in some abandoned warehouse.

"Okay, now that we've eaten, we're gonna appeal to you." Said Himari.

"How's that?"

"Incase you needed help getting it up, our uncles taught us certain 'dances'." Said Hildegard.

"Ones guaranteed to get you hard as a rock." Emily added.

"Oh..." said Alonzo. "I hope this'll help me."

Then with a snap of their fingers, Alonzo found himself sitting on a couch, while the girls stood on a stage in micro bikinis. So tiny they looked ready to snap right off.

"Alright, my turn on the pole." Said Hildegard. "Hope you've got dragon porn downloaded in your computer."

"Heh...I have a lot of porn on my computer. Especially of demons, dragons and yokai."

"Good to know~" She then started dancing. Twirling around the pole with an arm, leg and her tail holding onto it.

The warlock in the making gulped while unable to look away.

"So cousin, your cold feet gone yet?" Asked Hildegard. "Or does Himari have to go next?"

"Uh...maybe I could see what Himari could do?" He said.

Then Hildegard strutted away from the pole, tagging in Himari with a high five! She turned around and then did the splits.

"W-wow, you sure can spread your legs despite your thick muscles."

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?"

"He likes how you're flexible for a buff chick." Said Emily.

"Ah, well thank you." Himari said before jumping off the stage. That's when Emily got on stage while Himari sat on Alonzo's lap.

"Feeling...antsy yet~?" Himari rubbed her ass on Alonzo's crotch. "Hmm...he's getting there, your turn Emily, show him what a succubus can do."

"Gladly." Emily twirled around until she was hanging on the pole upside down.

The sight of her breasts bouncing from that made Alonzo swore he could see a thermometer beside him rising higher and higher.

"Ooh, he's getting rock solid." Said Himari.

"Nice, so ready to make your pact with us now?" Asked Hildegard.

"I...uh..."

Meanwhile in Heaven...

"Hey Jacob, your son is about to commit incest with your demon nieces." Said God.

"Dammit, and when he finally got cold feet about the whole thing."

Back to Earth.

"Uh...my school is currently closed, can we do it on one of the teacher's desks? I really wanna spite this one teacher in-general." Alonzo requested.

"Kinky."

"Okay, let's break into your school." Said Emily. "Lead the way."

Later...we see them all hopping the fence.

"Why was that so easy?" Asked Hildegard.

"It's a school, nobody breaks in because there's nothing to steal." Alonzo explained. "Though with that in mind I don't see a point in teachers and staff having to lock their classrooms and the restrooms."

"Maybe they're worried someone will find their hidden stash of porn."

"Hah...anyways, here's the classroom. Open it up!"

And cue the door getting ripped right off its hinges.

"Ladies first." Said Alonzo.

"What a gentleman." Said Emily as the 3 walked in followed by him.

Alonzo then sat on top of the teacher's desk that read "Mr. Flabutt." On the placard.

"Flabutt? What an embrassing last name." Said Emily.

"Trust me, his actual butt is just as ugly." The girls all shared a chuckle.

"Alright, now who goes first?"

"You girls can think about that after the foreplay." Said Alonzo with his pants off.

"I like the way you think~" Emily replied as she took the lead, licking the tip while Himari licked his balls.

"Oh my...I get to claim Alonzo's first kiss." Hildegard said while blushing.

"If you're too shy, I'll do it." smirked Himari.

"No...I've got this..." she held Alonzo's head and Alonzo put his hands on her chest. "Oh...those are sensative..."

"Want me to go soft?"

"No, get as rough as you can, I can take it."

Alonzo obliged as he kneaded her chest while Hildegard pulled him in for a kiss! He felt her shiver with himself trying to keep calm and not pull away.

Meanwhile Emily and Himari licked faster.

"Mmmm, come on big guy, get nice and hard for us~"

He got even harder before Emily and Himari put his dick between their chests.

Meanwhile Hildegard got more passionate with her kissing. She slipped her tongue in and began to swirl it around.

'I think I have a fetish for forked tongues now.' Alonzo thought as his dick started twitching. "I-I'm gonna cum!" He said, but it was muffled by the dragon in his mouth.

Hearing that, all 3 were on their knees as Emily gave her cousin one last stroke.

"Guh!" A huge load of cum splashed all over the girls!

"Oh shit! That's a lot of seed!" Himari said as the girls licked cum off of each other.

"Heh...I spent last month not jacking off. Saving up my jizz for you 3."

"And we appreciate the gift." Said Emily before crawling onto Alonzo. "So, which of us do you want to make the pact with first?"

"I'll go by order of the hottest milf." He replied.

"Ooh, you really think our moms are hot?"

"Well, since I'm gonna commit incest with thier daughters, you girls anyways, may as well look at aunt Gifty, Mindy and Lulu as jack off material as well."

"Relax, once we get knocked up, you'll have more than just jerking off material, you'll get the whole deal~"

"So...who goes first?" Asked Himari.

"I always thought Aunt Mindy was the hottest."

"Booyah! Get offa him Emily, I'm going first!" Said Himari.

"Damn it."

With a snap, Himari was now completely nude, showing off her bare chest and muscles.

"I'm surprised buff girls don't gross you out." Said Himari.

"I must admit, buff women are a guilty pleasure of mine, especially Onis and Orcs." Alonzo replied.

"Well, how about you show me what your body is like under that shirt?" Himari ripped his shirt off! "Hey, not bad."

"I worked out a bit."

"Let's see if you can work me out." Said Himari, her pussy right above his dick.

"I dunno if that makes se-aaaah." Alonzo moaned as his dick entered his demon cousin! "Holy shit are you warm!" He complimented. "Wait...no blood?"

"We're demons, you expect us to be virgins?" Said Hildegard.

"Hell, our dads were so lonely without our moms that they took our first times." Said Emily.

"And helped teach us what to work on when we eventually met you."

"Damn..."

"Also don't worry, even though their dicks are bigger than yours, you've got a pretty fat cock yourself." Emily Himari complimented as she moved up and down faster.

'Gee, now I'll have that in my head.'

Suddenly Himari claimed Alonzo's lips with him responding by kissing back! He also starts to thrust upwards.

'Fuck! I think she just put my dick in a vice!' But Alonzo made sure to thrust harder as his dick started to twitch again. 'I'm almost there already!'

'I can feel him twitch, gimme the seed already!' she thought grinding her hips harder against the rod.

'Oh fuck!' He screamed in his head before filling up her womb!

'Finally!' she thought as she tightened her inner walls to really milk him.

"Damn, you still have tons of spunk in there." Emily commented, seeing his cum flow out of Himari.

"I did say I didn't jerk off."

"Okay so who's next?" Asked Hildegard.

"Well I always thought Aunt Gifty was the second hottest."

"Hooray, I'm not last, since Gifty is my mom." Said Emily.

Hildegard just let out a ring of smoke, frustrated since she had to go last. "Lucky."

Himari crawled off Alonzo while Emily got on.

"Hope you're ready, because succubus pussy is the best!" Said Emily before smoothly putting Alonzo's dick in her pussy.

"Oh shit! I think your pussy just started to massage me!"

"Yah see?"

"Yeah, no wonder people always talk about wanting to bang a succubus."

"Well we ARE the best at it~"

Hildegard then pouted.

"Oh relax Hildy, it's not downhill after you have your way with Alonzo." Emily assured her. "You know, while you wait for your turn with his dick, how about you just go ahead and sit on his face?"

"Okay." She replied before flying over and shoving her pussy in his face!

"Woah!" he let out, falling backwards.

"Well...eat up Alonzo." Said Hildegard as she shook her pussy in her cousin's face.

The warlock reached up to grab her ass and started licking across her wet slit.

"Oooooh! Yes!" Moaned Hildegard.

'Whoa...what is that spicy flavor coming from Hildegard's pussy? Am I about to feel an intense heat as soon as my dick enters it? Only one way to find out, but first...' Thought Alonzo before thrusting upwards. '...I gotta fill up Emily.'

"Oh fuck yeah!" Said Emily and Hildegard before Alonzo's dick twitched again!

"I'm cumming!"

"Ooooh yes! Fill me up cuz!"

After he finished cumming, she then got off him. Poofing up an arm chair and sitting there legs crossed as her pussy dripped with her cousin's cum.

"Okay you 2, gimme a show I can flick the bean to."

"Sorry I think Aunt Lulu is 3rd hottest." Said Alonzo.

Hildegard got off of Alonzo's face and was now above his dick, ass still facing him. "Ready for reverse cowgirl my beloved cousin?"

"Big time."

"Well...hope your pelvis survives." Said Hildegard before slamming down then moving up to slam even harder down! Both moaning really loudly. Echoing through the empty hallways as his teacher's desk started to crack!

"Oh fuck me! You're more eager than the others!"

"Because they fuck for lust, I fuck for love."

"But we just met today!"

"But isn't the idea romantic? The daughter of the ultimate evil and the son of the ultmate good?"

"Well...I guess?"

"Yes, so I hope you don't think of me as just one of the demons you made a pact with, I hope you think of me as your favorite of the harem." Said Hildegard before slamming her ass down harder!

"What makes you think being all lovey dovey with Alonzo will make you his favorite?" Asked Emily.

"I just know it."

'Wow her pussy is so fucking warm inside.' Thought Alonzo.

"Well if you can be lovey dovey, so can I!" Then Emily and Himari walked up to Alonzo's face and started nuzzling him.

"Together forever, right cuz?" Said Emily.

"I will never betray you, you have my word." Said Himari.

'I gotta admit, I do hear sincerity in thier words.' Thought Hildegard as Alonzo's dick twitched.

"Are you ready to cum?"

"Yes! Here I cum!" Then he filled up her womb!

The feeling of his seed shooting inside made Hildegard moan so loud that she unleashed a breath of fire on the classroom ceiling!

"Uh oh!" Then Alonzo with his new Warlock magic shoot an freeze ray at the fire! "Phew!"

Then they heard the teacher's desk make a lot cracking sounds before it snapped in 2! Making the warlock and cousin lover fall!

"Oof! Ow my ass!"

"Just cast healing magic, you'll be okay." Said Emily.

"Oh right, now that I've made the pact." Then his hands glowed a bright green before his ass healed.

"So, since we've all made the pact, let's go tell the folks." Himari suggested.

"Shouldn't we fix the desk first?" Asked Hildegard.

"Leave it, not like my teacher will figure out it was us." Said Alonzo.

"Good point."

Later...

"And that's how we got Alonzo to get over his sudden cold feet." Said Emily.

"We used the techniques you tought us, dad." Said Himari.

"Now he's finally ready to hone his new dark magic energy!" Said Hildegard.

"That's great news." Said all 3 uncles, with all 3 aunts laying on the floor, unable to walk for maybe 2? 3 days?

"Once we finally get feeling in our legs again, we can get to mastering your powers." Said aunt Mindy who looked like she was practically dipped in a pool of seed.

"And then you three can get to work on making the next generation of monsters."

"Yeah, let's inbreed as much as we can and take over the planet as a family!" Said Emily.

The whole family then cheered.


	31. Chapter 31

List of oneshots part 4

chapter 31

A guy tries to ignore his former male turned female friends who want his D.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

A newscaster talks about the downpour currently happening. Outside, purple colored raindrops hit the periwinkle colored concrete. Inside the green and orange house we see a man and 4 women on a pink colored couch. All of them trying to watch TV with the man located in the middle, crossed arms, and looking uncomfortable.

The scarlet skinned man with red hair and blue eyes had a green T-shirt, white pants and a pair of grey gloves. "Why do you girls bother? You know I ain't gonna bang any of you."

"Aw come on, we know you gotta eventually." Said the pink skinned girl with green hair tied in buns, and amber colored eyes. She wore a yellow and white tracksuit with blue sneakers. She sat on the right side of him, leaning on his side.

"No Ben."

"It's Jen, fuck you Arnold."

"You know no other girls want you." Said a woman with navy blue skin, bright red eyes, baby blue long hair, an orange suit and orange tie and dark red colored high heels. She leaned on him from the left.

"I swear Nolan, I'll kick you!"

"Arnold, you know my name's Nora."

"Not gonna call you anything else Nolan."

"You were so cool when we were guys, why you gotta be such a killjoy now that we're girls?" Asked a Turquoise skinned woman with tan hair, a pink star painted over her right eye, red sleeveless shirt, red skirt and grey boots. She sat behind the couch with her arms on him.

"Suck a dick Corey, but not my dick, a homeless dog's dick!"

"Arnold, my name is Kora now!"

"C-O-R-E-Y!"

"Come on man just have sex with us, your childhood freinds." Said a Silver haired girl with golden colored skin, silver colored eyes, golden colored tank top, silver colored shorts and copper colored shoes. She sat on his lap.

"Get lost Mike!"

"It's Mika, Arnold." She giggled.

"I will staple name tags on each of you!"

And then brown thunderbolts hit a tree next to a magenta man walking his green and violet striped monkey.

"What the hell was that weird cutaway?" Asked all 5 characters.

"Anyways, we're done hanging out today, I gotta go to work."

The 4 girls pouted.

"I'll come back at the regular time, unless I ask for overtime."

Now...what would a grump like Arnold have for a job?

"Hey guys, time for a new video of A-Game's Gains!"

That's right, he's an online let's player.

"Are you guys ready? It's time for the final boss!"

An cue numerous people cheering out over the speakers.

"Now, a lot of you kept saying take off this equip, it's too OP. Fine, you guys wanna give me a challenge, I'll do it. But if I keep dying for an hour, I'm putting it back on."

Death One:

"Okay, I guess I should've ran left."

Death Two:

"That was my bad."

Death Eight:

"Oh bullshit I pressed the X button."

Death Twenty:

"This is asinine!"

Death Twenty-Nine:

"Sorry guys, but I really REALLY wanna see the ending."

"Aw booo!"

Then after killing the final boss, he got to see the true ending.

"So...you realize who I really am right?" Asked the love interest.

"Yep Beverly, you used to be my best friend Bernstien."

"What!? The dude from the game's prologue!?" Gasped Arnold.

"Yes, I became this beautiful woman after the accident. So now that you know, do you revoke our engagement?"

"Never." Replied the main protagonist. "You were my best friend as Bernstien and my greatest companion as Beverly." Then after kissing they cut to credits roll.

"...what the fuck?"

"What? Don't like transgenders?!" The livestream chat started commenting.

"I don't have a problem, it's just...I have some transgenders trying to seduce me in real life."

"No way dude! Lucky!" Said the audience in the comments.

"No it isn't! The protag may not care that she used to be his guy friend, but I do! They used to be my childhood guy friends!"

That's when a donation alert went off!

"Cheesy Boiz 222, why did you just donate 5000 dollars?"

"So I can buy wedding rings?! F-Fuck off!"

That's when another donation alert went off!

"Bowserfan4ever821...7000 dollars for the wedding!? Please stop!"

Then another alert.

"Spikerulez302, you're not making things any better with the 10,000 dollar donation!" Then he read the comment that came with the donation. "I know there's some value, they won't have a problem with my slobbish nature or my farting since they used to be guys, but seriously, I don't want to."

Then the donations continued until he finally ended the live stream.

"Ugh...that was stressful..." he rubbed his head and groaned. "This is what happens when I give the honest truth to strangers. Porn stars make it seem so easy."

As he laid down on his bed, which was green with orange star patterns, he suddenly got a text message from Jen, but his phone still said the sender was Ben. "You done? We were thinking of inviting you to my place for pizza."

"Yeah, Pizza sounds good right now."

But as soon as he got to Jen's house.

"Oh Arnold, I got buffalo sauce all over my lips, wanna help me lick it off?" Asked Mika.

"Hey Arnold, let's see who can get to the middle of this breadstick faster." Said Kora.

"Not gonna happen guys."

"Okay, come-on Arnold, could just try us out? Touch us, you won't see the difference between a trans girl and a girl from birth." Said Nora.

"Fine, but it's not gonna work." He sighed.

That's when Mika hopped onto his shoulders. "Let's get this over with." She said excitedly.

Both closed their eyes and puckered her lips. They leaned into each other, but when Arnold opened one eye, he quickly pushed Mika off when he saw a man's face.

"Ow!"

"I can't do it! Just looking at your faces is enough to keep me from doing that!"

That's when Nora had an idea. "Oh! Oh! You don't have much of a problem when we're cuddling you on the couch."

"Good point Nora." Said Kora.

"So how about we start off down south before we can go up north?" Said Nora before she grabbed one of Arnold's hands and placed it on one of her breasts.

He went wide eyed with his face turning red while she grinned.

"Go ahead, give it a squeeze."

He was hesitant but just went with it.

"Mmmh...you like that?"

"Maybe..."

"Oooh! My turn!" Said Mika. "My boobs are bigger than all of you girls!" She then got back on his lap and pulled up her shirt! "Well?" Mika asked with a smug grin.

All Arnold could do was stare before a sudden nosebleed and then passing out.

"Eh? Hey! Come on dude, wake up!"

"Hmm...so he's okay with our bodies." Said Nora.

"Yep, I'm thinking what you're thinking. We should try hugging him more." Replied Jen.

"Actually I was thinking we should show him what he's missing out on with which could finally get him to kiss us, but we can do that as well."

"Alright, then let's cuddle and wait to see what he does when he wakes up."

Later that night Arnold wakes up. "Huh?! G-guys!?"

"Hey Arnold." They all greeted. 2 girls on top of him with one girl on each side.

"Listen, I already said I won't fuck you 4."

"We know, but knowing how much you love boobs, we've finally found a way to break your stubbornness." Said Mika.

"Yeah, we're gonna cuddle real close, just the 5 of us." Kora added.

The feeling of their breasts on him made him hard.

"Oh, I just had a brainstorm!" Said Jen. "Tomorrow, we share the shower."

"Yeah! Just like our days in boot camp!" Agreed Nora. "We always had fun joking around back then when we tried to compare dick sizes."

"Remember when Arnold cried when he saw we were all bigger than him?" Said Mika.

They laughed while Arnold was very close to crying.

"You all called me baby dick even though I was very close to Corey's dick length."

"Kora." She replied. "Also isn't it great that you've got the biggest dick out all of us now?"

"It doesn't count if you all have clams instead!"

"Clams you could be tasting right now." Replied Nora.

"Ewww!" And like that, he somehow grabbed all 4. "Outta my room!" But then Arnold found himself being thrown out of his bedroom. "Huh!?"

"Nice try, come back in and we can cuddle naked this time." Jen called.

"Hey!" he yelled before the door slammed shut. "Get out of my room!"

"Nah, sleep on the couch tonight." Replied Mika.

"Ugh! Fine!"

The next morning, Arnold awoke to the girls all over him on the couch.

"Ugh, damn it." He groaned "What are you girls doing here!?"

"Oh, morning Arnold." Said all 4.

"Alright everyone, shower time, let's see how well Arnold can endure." Said Kora.

"No!"

Then Kora took one of his hands and placed it on her chest.

Later we see all 5 in the shower.

"What the hell happened?"

"It's because of your advanced boob addiction." Replied Mika.

"...I have to work on that."

"So what do you think of our wet soapy bodies? Pretty sexy huh?" Asked Jen.

"We'll let you scrub us, but only if you kiss us."

"I'll just focus on my own body."

Then all 4 had evil grins, standing in front of him.

"Okay, suit yourself. Hey Mika, mind cleaning me up?" Asked Nora.

"Sure, as long as you wash me up." Replied Mika.

"Wanna help me out Kora?" Asked Jen.

"Sure, as long as you scrub all over me." Said Kora.

"What are you four doing?" Arnold said, wide eyes as the girls scrubbed each other's chests.

"You see this?" Said Jen.

"Yes."

"You want us to stop?" Asked Kora.

"Uh...y-y-yes?"

They noticed the hesitation in his voice.

"Are you sure~?" Said Mika.

"...look a spider!"

"Nice try, Lexi moved to Hawaii last week." Replied Nora.

"A regular spider I meant."

"That's still not gonna work."

"Crap." Then he accidentally dropped his soap. 'Uh oh...'

"Still sure you don't need us to help scrub you?" Said Nora.

'Come on, say no...' He tried to refuse. 'Dammit, say it!'

"Or are you gonna let that soap go to waste?"

"F-Fine, but this will be all the touching you girls will get for the rest of the day."

"We can live with that."

And so Arnold got to rinsing off their bodies.

"Do you like how naked boobs feel? You happy you finally get to touch some, you kissless virgin?" Asked Kora.

"Eh shut up, you're no better." Then he switched to Jen.

"Come on Arnold, you're naked with a bunch of wet girls, just swallow your pride and give up that virginity."

"You may have some bombshell bodies but you're all still my bros..."

"No no no, gals."

Then it was Kora's turn to get a scrubbing. "You realize anybody wouldn't resist the opportunity of 4 girls instantly putting out, right?" Asked Kora.

"Yeah, but I doubt they'd jump at the chance if the girls used to be guys."

"You sure about that?" Asked Nora.

"Yes."

"But what if they're into it, what if we just found a guy who's into us and we fell in love with him?" Asked Mika, making Arnold stop.

"Uh...well...uh..."

"You'd get pissed off, wouldn't you?"

"..."

"Downright jealous?"

"..."

"Angry that your last chance at love is gone?"

"Uh...can I get back to you on that one?" He said before exiting the shower. 'I need to talk to someone...'

Later...we see him at a purple and green hospital room, sitting next to an orange with green polka dotted hospital bed.

"Hey mom..."

"Hey kiddo *cough* here looking for some advice?" Asked the sickly looking woman. Her skin was as red as Arnold's.

"Yeah, some real urgent kind."

"Is it about Ben, Mike, Corey and Nolan?"

"They've been more aggressive than usual in trying to seduce me and it's been working, I've been grabbing their chests lately."

"Sounds good."

"What do you mean sounds good?"

"Kiddo...I am not gonna survive for much longer, and when I'm gone, you'll have no family left. So please do me a favor and marry them...*cough!* They've been there for you. Even when dad died when you were 8...I remember when they hugged you. So please...free them from your damn friendzone. *cough* oh fuck...I think I'm gonna see your dad in a bit...*cough*..."

"Hold on mom!"

"Nah..."

"What do you mean nah? Don't joke around mom!"

"Bye kid..."

"No wait! Don't go mom!"

Then the heart monitor flat lined.

"MOM!" Arnold felt the warmth in her hand turn cold in an instant. "No..."

Later...the walk home was difficult but he managed. He stared at the sidewalk, not saying or uttering a sound. He then made it to his front door and when he opened it...

"Meow! Hey Arnold!" Said the 4 girls in cat costumes.

"..."

"Oh...you okay Arnold?" Asked Jen as he walked in.

"No, I'm not."

"What happened?" Asked Kora as they walked up to him.

"I was having a chat with my mom and...just like that she died." There were no tears on his face but the despair he was feeling was written all over it.

Jen gasped before they all ran to hug him.

"It's okay Arnold, we're here for you...like always..." Said Mika.

'Now ain't this a case of deja vu?' He thought as he remembered how close they hugged him back when his father died. 'Okay...if this world is so insistent of making me fall for these 4...I'll do it..." he thought. "Hey girls...mind following me to the roof of my house?"

"Uh Arnold? Maybe you should rest and take it easy. No need to do anything rash."

"No...come with me."

Then they all followed him to the roof of his house.

"This is goodbye Ben, Mike, Corey and Nolan."

"Uh, didn't I say not to do anything rash?"

"I'm not...I just wanna do something to symbolically give up on...the guys I've come to be bros with and start my love life with you girls."

"Uh...why are you putting up your dukes?" Asked Kora.

"This will be my final brawl with my guy friends, as I start living with my girlfriends...you ready?"

"Oh! You want us to bare knuckle box with you?"

"Knowing me, you know this is how I said bye to a lot of our friends."

"Right, like when you said bye to our pal Franz." Nora pointed out.

"And Nicky." Added Jen.

"I remember when you gave an especially harsh thrashing to our pal Red." Said Kora.

All 5 on the roof were cracking their knuckles.

"So come on, I wanna say bye to the guys then bone you girls!"

"You're on!"

"Dude...look." Said a little boy on his balcony across the street.

"Whoa..." said the little boy's brother.

Arnold went for the right hook but Mika caught it! Arnold then jabbed her in the gut with his left!

"Oof!" then she wound up getting a slap to the cheek. As Mika stumbled back, Nora and Kora held down Arnold before kneeing him simultaneously! They let go and went for a punch before he caught both fists! He pushed them away, and started rushing at Jen! She reeled a fist back and both threw a punch that collided! Jen pulled back and shook off the pain!

"Ow...okay, I gotta go back to the gym."

"Goodbye Ben!" And with that, knocked out Jen with a punch to the forehead!

"Ooooh, pretty stars..." After the daze wore off, Mika tried to punch him, but he was able to slip past and gut punch her instead!

"Tiger Drop!" Arnold shouted as he did so.

"Oof!" Grunted Mika.

That's when Kora went for the back hand!

This of course made him spin around, nearly falling off the roof when it hit his cheek.

"Oh shit!" Cried Kora.

"Heh, you always were unaware of your true strength and that's why...this is goodbye Corey!" Shouted Arnold as he knocked out Kora with an extra hard punch to the face!

She fell back while seeing stars around her head.

"Bye forever Nolan." He said flatly, before shoving Nora. "You could never win a fight alone unless Corey was with you."

"..." Nora...was out cold just like that...

"Now that just leaves you...Mike..."

"Aww, you saved me for last? I love you bestie." Said Mika.

"You were my very first friend Mike...makes sense I say bye to you last, so I can start making out with Mika." Said Arnold.

"Then give me your best shot!"

"See yah..." then both ran super fast at each other before hitting each other, knocking both out!

The kids on the balcony across the street couldn't believe the fight that they witnessed.

"Wow! That was awesome!"

"I know, can't wait to post this online."

Later...all 4 girls awake on their favorite spots on Arnold's couch.

"Hello Mika, Jen, Nora and Kora~" Arnold said in a flirty voice.

"Hi Arnold~"

"Alright...I'm ready...who wants to go f-" They all threw him to the floor! Then started applying lipstick before jumping him! "Woah!"

First was Nora and Kora doing a 3 way make out while Mika and Jen littered his face with red and yellow lipstick marks! All the while he groped their asses.

Then they switched! Nora and Kora littering his face with purple and green lipstick while Mika and Jen 3 way made out with Arnold!

The girls then got up and dragged him into the bedroom.

"H-Hey girls, let me up, I can walk to my roo-"

"Shut up." Replied Mika.

"Yes ma'am."

They threw him onto the bed, and then they quite literally tore his clothes off! His shirt ripped in half, his pants ripped in half, after tearing his undies off they took turns taking a big whiff of his balls sweat from his used undies before stripping themselves.

"...uh do you girls sniff my used underwear when I'm not home?"

"Yes, yes we do." Kora answered.

'Man, I really made them wait for this.'

"And the real balls up close are WAY better~"

Now that all 4 were naked, they started to swarm him again! Specifically his testicles.

"Don't fight over my balls!"

"We can't help it, for years you kept the delicious milk inside all to yourself!" Said all 4.

"Well if you yank it off, nobody's gonna get it."

Then they went from licking his balls to lubing up his dick with their spit!

"Whoa..."

"Mika, you've got the biggest tits, wanna do the honors?" Asked Jen.

"You sure you want me in front of girls? Dunno if I wanna share after he sprays his jizz all over me."

"Do you want us to hog him to ourselves instead?"

"No..."

"That's what we thought."

Mika then put Arnold's dick between her huge tits and started moving them up and down while licking the tip.

"So much pre-cum." Mika commented.

"Warning...I tried to masterbate, but I couldn't because I keep seeing your faces in my daydreams."

"Awww, how sweet." Said Nora.

"Wait...what do you mean? HOW LONG, has it been since you last materbated?" Asked Jen.

"Sometime before you 4 decided to get a sex change. So yeah I have not felt sweet release in years because I was so disgusted by thinking about jacking off to my girlfriends who used to be my guy friends." Arnold moaned as Mika shook her chest faster! "I really tried thinking about all the girls who turned me down, but nope you 4 kept replacing them in my thoughts."

"Uh...so should we get umbrellas or beer mugs?" Asked Kora.

"Both?" Jen said questioningly while Mika got even rougher with her movements.

"Give us that seed already!" Demanded Mika as Arnold's dick starts to violently shake.

"Oh fuck...it may be too late for those umbrellas and mugs, I'm about hose Mika's face!"

"Give it to me!" As Mika opened her mouth and closed her eyes, Arnold then unloaded something huge! A stream of cum as wide as an arm!

"Whoa!" Gasped the other girls who then gathered and started licking off the cum that splashed onto Mika's chest, making Mika moan!

"Oh fucking hell yes!"

After cumming, we see Arnold panting.

"Wow, did that huge load knock the wind outta you?"

"Yeah, so we should wait a bit before I can f-"

"Nope." Said Kora before grabbing his waist.

"What are you doing?"

"Ever heard of the Amazon Position?"

"Uh...no."

"It's like missionary except the woman humps the man." Said Kora, pussy pressing against his tip.

"Never heard of it."

"Oh trust me, after I'm through with you, I'll make you want us to do it even more."

'Oh crap, Kora still doesn't know her own strength, I don't think I'll survive after she's had her way with me.' he thought before finding her grip on him tighten. "Ah-ah..."

"I'm taking your virginity now!" She said before thrusting her hips, dick practically flying into her pussy! "Oooh...you like that I made you the bottom the day you lost your virginity?"

"Ah...it's f-fine, I'm finally getting laid, no complaints here, though, could you go a bit gentler?"

"No, your first time has to be an unforgettable experience!" Then Kora thrusted harder!

"Ah!"

He cried out as his dick started to twitch again! 'Can they get pregnant from this, I wonder? I might ask after this." Thought Arnold. "I'm cumming!"

"Aaaaaah! Give it all to me..." Kora moaned. "You may be tougher than me in a fight, but during sex you're my bitch!"

"Okay Kora, how's about giving me a turn?" Asked Nora.

"Nope, it's Jen's turn."

"Huh? Why not me?"

"Sorry Nora, we gotta wear Arnold down, or he might break you and your weak body." Said Mika.

"Hey! Who you calling weak?"

"Arnold barely hit you and you were knocked out. Don't pretend that you took a dive, you were sleeping like the rest of us after that fight."

Nora pouted before walking away.

"Okay Jen, your turn." Said Kora before getting off the bed.

"Thanks...hey Arnold."

"Ah Jen, mind if I was on top this time?"

"I don't mind at all actually. Just as long as you keep spanking my ass while fucking."

Jen got on all 4's on the bed, sticking her ass up in the air!

"Nice." Arnold commented, he gave her ass a good slap before driving his dick in her.

"Oh! Mmmh..." She moaned. "Yeah, and keep up the spanking!"

"I will! Who would've thought you'd develop a spanking fetish after so much punishment in boot camp?"

"I would have been the camp's fuck toy if I had stayed a guy!"

"Yep, but now you're my fuck toy, take this!" Arnold spanked her harder before thrusting inside her harder.

"Oh fuck yeah!" She moaned as his dick started to twitch again! "Oh? You about to cum now?"

"Yep, take it!"

Jen cried out as Arnold gave her a few slaps before she went to sleep.

"You're really good at this." Said Mika as she carried Jen onto the floor then laid down in bed, legs spread wide open. "Now do your worst to me!"

"Oh trust me, I will." He held on tight to Mika's breasts before slamming his dick inside!

"OH FUCK YEAH!"

"You like that big girl? I remember when you were fat, before boot camp finally helped you sweat off those pounds! How am I doing fatty?"

"I need more of your fat sausage!"

"If you had a womb to make babies with, I could go even deeper!"

"Ooooh! Sorry we can't give you kids." Moaned Mika.

"That's fine, it just means I'll fill you all up with cream and not worry about a damn condom!" Mika wrapped her legs around Arnold as he thrusted harder!

"Ready for my next load?"

"Yes!"

"Then take it! Aaaaah!" He moaned as he filled her up!

"Aaaaah!" Mika screamed as she hugged Arnold tighter!

After cumming, Arnold falls onto the bed, exhausted.

"Okay Nora, we've worn him down, your turn." Said Mika, laying next to Arnold.

"Finally!" Then Nora got on top of him. "I'm gonna go crazy on this ride."

"Try it...and see if you can handle it." Panted Arnold.

Nora was over his dick then quickly dropped herself, slamming onto his dick hard!

"YEOW!"

"You okay?" Asked Arnold. "Wanna rest a bit?"

"Hell no! I ain't got a hymen!" Then Nora moved up and down very fast and very hard! "I can take this monster no problem!" She moaned confidently, her hands on Arnold's chest.

'Okay maybe it was a good idea they wore down Arnold's stamina, he would've crushed me if he was thrusting.'

"Now then Arnold." Said Nora. "Listen when I say, the 5 of us will always be together."

"You're proposing now?"

"Yep, I mean why not? We've literally been together since childhood."

"I just thought you would go and get rings first."

"We already have rings picked out actually, we also picked out your ring."

"You girls really thought ahead."

"Of course, you were our childhood crush. Back when we were boys we've wanted you."

"And I'm surprised I never knew till after you 4 had the sex change."

"Of course if we WERE still guys, you'd be the bitch between us."

"I wonder what that would look like actually, if you had the sex change instead of us." Joked Mika as Arnold's final load was getting ready to fill up Nora.

"Ahhhh fuck!"

"Oh fuuuck!" Shouted Nora as tons of seed leaked from her pussy!

"Damn, this is your 5th load and it's still a geyser." Jen commented as she and Kora climbed into bed with Arnold, Mika and Nora.

"Well...that's probably all I've got left in me...we can bang even more tomorrow." Said Arnold.

"Damn right we will, you owe us so much of that jizz!" Panted Nora as she cuddled him.

"Thanks for always being by my side girls."

"Of course Arnold, nothing will ever tear us apart." Then the other 3 girls started cuddling him.

Arnold smiled before drifting off to sleep, eager to see where this next chapter in his life will tale him.


	32. Chapter 32

List of oneshots part 4

chapter 32

A fake hero gets help from his supposedly imaginary arch enemy.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

A man steps out of his house, bound for the local park.

"Morning Rhett, how was your weekend?" Asked a passing paper boy.

"What do you think?" Asked a brown eyed, brown haired, light skinned man. He was skinny, but tall, he had a blue shirt that had a picture of the earth on it, he wore black pants and cartoonishly huge red shoes.

"Did you encounter 'her' again?" The paper boy asked.

"Yes, and that's what I'm about to tell the citizens today at the park." he spoke before walking down the sidewalk with a big grin on his face.

Later at the park we see people with flags, shirts and hats with his face on them, cheering as he arrived.

"Rhett Foster is here!"

"Tell us your latest battle with the dreaded Angelina J. Washington."

"Well, I know I don't like to toot my own horn, but this last one was a real kicker."

The crowd paid attention with tons of eagerness.

"I was on my way home after buying groceries when out of nowhere, she jumped out of the bush in front of me! Of course like all the other times I saw it in time and easily avoided her, and even chucked the pie I bought right in her face."

The crowd laughed at the thought.

"And that's when I jumped into action! I tripped her over, put her in a headlock, and gave her the hardest german suplexes around!"

"Suplexes? Plural?!" One of the audience members cried out.

"Plural baby! Then, I gave her a happy trail after throwing her at an incoming Uber, that I called because I saw her ambush coming!"

"Then what?"

"Then I told the Uber to go for the bad side of town where she belongs!"

Then the crowd cheered.

"Yeah! Who's your hero!?"

"Foster!"

"Can't hear you!"

"FOOOOOSTEEEEEER! YEAAAAAAAH!"

"Oh yeah!" He cried out. 'How is it that they always buy my bullshit!?'

"Three cheers for the hero!"

"Foster! Foster! FOSTER! Yeeeeeehaaaaaaw!"

'Yeehaw, that's a new one.' Rhett thought. "Alright guys, I'll be going now."

That's when the crowd started throwing money.

"Or I could stay for a bit." he grinned while giving them the peace sign.

"Wooooooooo!" They hooted.

As Rhett gathered the money, a fan suddenly ran up to him.

"Foster! Foooosteeer!" He panicked.

"What is it little girl?"

"I'm a boy actually, but that's not the point. I saw her!"

"Saw who?"

"Angelina J. Washington!"

Rhett was super close to panicking. "W-W-What?"

"Yeah, and you'll kick her ass again right?"

'OH GOD I'M DEAD!' He screamed in his head. "Hell yeah kid! I'm gonna kick her ass live!"

"Hear that? Foster is gonna kick that bitch's ass!"

Then Rhett leaves them with a fake smile. 'Crap, the truth will be exposed and the real Angelina might kill me!'

As he turned a corner he saw Angelina J. Washington leaving the dry cleaners.

'Shit!' He then hid behind a car! 'Okay Rhett...think...oh I know, maybe if I lied again, the people are always buying my lies! Yeah, tomorrow I lie to them again and maybe the mayor will give me the key to the city.'

With that in mind he let out a sigh of relief and went in the opposite direction. That's when he walked by a wall with posters saying Rhett Foster vs Angelina J. Washington. "What in the!? Me vs. Angelina J. Washington!? Friday Night in front of Town Hall!? Who posted this?!" he cried out, breaking out in a cold sweat before he started to quickly rip them down.

"Yargh Fostargh! Rip up them postarghs! Get yerself mentally prepared to kick the evil lass' ass to Davey Jones' lock-argh!" A pirate cheered.

"Yeah! Show that skank what you're made up!" Said another pirate.

'I suddenly regret being so popular.'

Meanwhile...Angelina took notice of the posters. She had long red hair, bright blue eyes, wore a pink and white tank top, had a belly button ring, wore skinny jeans and white shoes.

"Huh?" After reading..."Who the fuck is Rhett Foster?"

"Whoa, looks like someone's calling you out." Said her friend. She was a blue and yellow tiger with braces.

"I know imaginary friend, but the question is, do we accept this challenge?"

"Wait...why does it say hero vs. villain with you as the villain?" Her figment of her imagination pointed out.

"I have no idea." Said Angelina before a passing by Rhett Foster fan threw his half empty carton of chocolate milk at her.

"Booo!"

"Look out!" Shouted the imaginary friend.

Angelina ran up the wall before backflipping off it. So her dry cleaning was still dry and cleaned. "Nice try, I just got this jacket dry cleaned."

"Looks like you'll be a social pariah till Friday."

"Yep, guess we're retreating to the darkness till then." With that she slowly sunk backwards into the alley...somehow without moving her legs.

"Did you guys see that?!" Shouted Colin Mochrie from Whose Line is it Anyways.

"Yeah, she might actually be a supervillain from hell like Foster said."

"This is gonna be the battle of the century!"

And so a week passes, with a montage of Rhett reading comic books and Angelina rapidly punching a punching bag.

"I dunno who you are, but looks like it's time for good to lose to evil!" Angelina panted.

"Huh, never thought the main character had split personality disorder." Said Rhett before closing the comic book. "Time for the next issue."

Then finally it was Friday and Rhett Foster made it to town hall...which was strangely right next to the mall, first. And there it showed a huge ass crowd.

"People, you are free, for I intercepted Angelina and kicked her ass before making it here."

The crowd then cheered.

"Oh, won't you please tell us how you did it?"

"Why of course Angelina...ANGELINA!?" he looked at the woman suddenly behind him, making him pale and the crowd gasp.

"Please, tell us all how you kicked MY ass."

"Uh...w-well..."

"Why is Rhett Foster lying?"

"Forget that, why is he scared of Angelina?"

"Kick her butt!"

"Yes, kick my butt, I'll drop my pants if you have the guts to actually do it."

Rhett sweated profusely.

"Yeah! Drop your pants and submit to Rhett's 8 foot dick that he fucks supermodels with!"

"8 feet huh? I'll bet you've got a whole bunch of groupies."

"Yeah...totally..." 'I'M DEAD!'

"Hey, since we've been at this for so long, how's about letting me have the first shot for once?" Asked Angelina.

"Sure, Rhett's a good sport." Said one of the fans.

"S-S-S-Sure."

"Sweet." Angelina took one step before Rhett dropped into the fetal position.

"Okay I lied! I never even met Angelina J. Washington before."

That made the people grow silent.

"I never thought there would be an actual Angelina J. Washington let alone a girl who looks exactly like her. I don't even have a dick that's 8 feet long!"

"So...your adventure to save the Angel Queen?" Asked an old citizen.

"Lies!"

"Your battle with Angelina in Shangri-La?" Asked a skinny citizen.

"Lies..."

"The one time you and Angelina let bygones be bygones to win the war against The Rebellion Beasts?" Asked a teenage citizen.

"Lies, lies, lies all lies!"

All of them stared at him in shock and horror before yelling out in anger before throwing things at him.

"You fraud!"

"I was saving myself till my 18th birthday for you!"

"You were my reason to get outta bed every morning!"

"I'm sorry!"

"I was gonna give you the key to the city!"

"I didn't raise you to be a liar!" Said his dad.

"You have brought shame upon our land!" yelled an old fashion samurai. "And our cows!"

Ashamed, Rhett Foster fled.

"Hah! Now that I've exposed the faker, guess that makes me the new he-wait, where's everyone going?"

"We're going home to take down our merch from that bastard."

"Oh...so can I be the town's new heroi-"

"We don't care about you." Replied all of them.

"Hmph, I save the town from a fraud and they don't care, typical."

"Testify sista!" Said her imaginary friend.

One month later and we Rhett leaving his home, trash thrown all over his lawn.

"Another day of the town's hatred." He said as another former fan threw a half drinken bottle of water on his lawn.

"Loser!"

And so Rhett was off to work.

Later...at his job, in accounting.

"Rhett, gonna need those papers done by the end of the day."

"Yes boss."

"And listen...I'm sorry for what happened, but hey, it was great seeing you happy for a while."

"Thanks for still being my childhood friend Henry."

"No prob, keep up the good work."

After work we see Rhett passing a dark alley. That's when he was grabbed by the darkness! "Aaah!"

"Hey Mr. Pants on Fire." Said Angelina.

"Oh god! I don't wanna die!"

"Relax, I just wanna talk."

Later at a cafe...

"So sorry about uh...ruining your life..." she apologized as he stared into his coffee.

"Not your fault, I took a lie too far...didn't even know you were real, I didn't even know I described a real person so accurately down to their details. You don't happen to have a tiger for an imaginary friend do you?"

"Damn, I was part of his lie too? I like this guy." Said her imaginary friend.

"Are you psychic or something? You're spot on about everything."

"I know, it's like you were my dream girl or something."

'Oooooooh!' Said her imaginary friend.

'Sh-shut up.' she thought with a blush. "So uh...want help with saving your reputation? We can make it the greatest show ever!"

"How? Unless my lie about you being a pyrotechnics expert is also true."

"I am."

"Heh...I somehow know everything about you even though we've only met twice...if all this goes well...would you consider going out with me?"

"I'll consider it."

Then they shook on making Rhett Foster's comeback as amazing as possible.

(Later)

We find ourselves in town square, where a huge stage was being erected...

"Hey Joe, why are we doing this huge stage again?"

"Manny, our boss said that this is for an upcoming Yugioh Tournament, did you seriously tune that out?"

"Oh, right, sorry but I'm just not feeling like working today."

On one of rooftops, we see Rhett as his binoculars stared at Angelina in a dark blue hoodie and jogging pants.

"Ready?" Rhett texted.

"Let's make a show of it!" Angelina texted back before detonating a few bombs!

This made the people start screaming and panicking with one flailing his arms around like Kermit the Frog.

"Come on parkour skills, save me! Jump! Roll! Shove old man! Jump over baby! Kick cat outta the way!"

"Dude that's a lot of unnecessary d-" Then his friend was sent flying because he was directly under a bomb! "Aaaaaamaaaaaaaaaaaaage oof!"

"Ahahahahaha!"

"What in the? Who is that!?" Said a talking crocodile.

"There! On the stage!" A surfer girl pointed.

"Citizens of this city! It turns out Rhett Foster wasn't lying about everything, turns out he was right about me being a pyrotechnics expert!" Then she pressed a button making the areas where there were bombs suddenly erupt with pillars of fire! "Now I will burn this city to the ground!"

"Oh crap!"

That's when a red ball whizzed through the air. Angelina noticed and swiftly dodged!

"What the?"

Everyone looked at where the ball came from.

"Not so fast villain!"

"Rhett...Foster?" Said the citizens.

"You again? I thought I already exposed you for the phony you were."

"Ha! You thought wrong harlot. I've come here to stop you for good!"

Then Angelina pressed another button! An explosion caused a statue of the mayor to fly off and be sent flying at a school bus! That's when Rhett threw another red ball and then as soon as it hit the statue Angelina pressed a button making the people think Rhett destroyed it!

"Wow!"

'We got 'em now.' Thought Angelina.

Rhett started running at Angelina but then Angelina responded by bending down, picking up a fake brick she threw down there while the panicking citizens weren't looking and threw the fake brick at Rhett who swatted it away! "Dirty tricks won't work on me!" he threw a punch, with her turning her head making it look convincing with a pre-recorded sound effect.

"Oooooooooh!"

"Uh Mr. Mayor, he just struck a woman, that okay?" Asked a cop.

"Citizen's Arrest justifies any force." Replied the Mayor.

Then Angelina responded with a kick to the groin but Rhett used both arms and closed his legs fast enough to halt her kick.

'Phew, that took 56 tries to get right.' Thought both.

"Don't let her get you in the coconuts!"

Rhett shoved her away and then Angelina pressed a button making another explosion go off!

"RHEEEEET!" The people screamed as a car flew at them!

Rhett ran off to save the people! He punched the car as another well timed explosion split it in half, making people think he cut it down the middle. "Not today!"

The people cheered.

"Yeah! Who's your hero?"

"RHETT FOSTER!"

'Now to bring it on home.' Said Angelina's imaginary friend.

'This next part is gonna hurt like a bitch.' "Let's end this you evil whore!" Shouted Rhett Foster who brought out 2 magnets from his pockets and threw them, they then magnetized to the metal podium, holding down Angelina's feet!

"I'm stuck."

"Yeah! Rhett Foster's Holder Magnets! Those inventions never failed them!" Shouted a fan.

"Hey, is this gonna be like the time you guys battled in Paris? Making love to Angelina's perfect ass while the magnets held her down?"

'Sheesh, did his stories really get that raunchy?'

'Crap, forgot to recap her about that story.' Thought Rhett. "No citizens, I'm not horny right now." "Awwwww."

"But I know you guys are just dying to see my Foster Dropkick!"

"Hell yeah!"

That's when Rhett charged at Angelina and then while nobody was looking, Angelina pressed a button activating the jet boosters hidden in the back of Rhett's shirt just as he jumped into the air, both feet forward. "TAKE THIS!"

'This will hurt in the morning.'

'Very very sorry for this!'

Boom! Angelina was struck by the kick, and knocked out!

And after Rhett just barely stuck the landing, the people cheered!

"Wooohooo! He did it!"

"He saved us!"

They all picked him up and paraded him around town!

"Uh Mr. Mayor, I have apprehended Angelina J. Washington." Said a cop.

"Leave her unconscious body officer, without her, Rhett Foster will never have another fun tale to tell."

"But Mayor-"

"I said leave her!"

"Alright, you're the boss."

And so Rhett's fame was restored, and both him and Angelina had fun living this revived lie.

(Timeskip_

We find ourselves in a church as swords collide.

"Uh...d-do you...Rhett Foster...t-t-take Angelina J. Washington a-as you lawfully wedded wife?" Asked a terrified minister.

"I do."

"Uh..."

"Why yes, I do take Rhett Foster as my lawfully wedded husband." Replied a 7 months pregnant Angelina.

"Th-then."

"Shut up." Said both before kissing but then pushing away to keep sword fighting.

The witnesses would have applauded but they were all bound and gagged.

"Time for the honeymoon!"

Later after leaving the church...we see them at a hotel...basking in the afterglow...

"That was an awesome wedding." Said Rhett.

"Hell yeah it was, but now...I think I wanna stop fighting you, now that we have a kid coming, we need peace in our lives." Said Angelina.

"Don't worry, I'm gonna create a new bad guy, where we finally put our differences together and fight him."

"What if this person also turns out to be real?"

"Then we have this person join in on our bullshit."

"Yeah, that's a pretty good plan."

"Yah see? Now let's think of names for the kid and names for the new villain."


	33. Chapter 33

List of oneshots part 4

chapter 33

Yui and Omni give a little display battle between a spooky Kamen Rider and monsters.

Series: Kamen Rider

xxxxxxxxxxxx

-Somewhere outside the omniverse-

Omni grumbled while looking at a calendar. "Ugh, this crazy world schedule is really affecting the overarching due date. I mean ugh, it's almost halloween."

"Since when were we meant to be consistent?"

"Since we became meta." He looked at the screen and winked before saying. "Anyway, we have very little time and well, I've been wanting to make a bet with you."

"No, I am not gonna be a sumo again."

"What no. I'm not even thinking that." Omni deadpanned. "No, it's just a simple bet without sumos."

"Like?"

"Well, my bet is one of us can create a perfect warrior or army of our choosing and can beat the other without interfering with them." Omni said. "Like oh say, an army of monsters vs a Kamen Rider, but you don't like that franchise so that migh-"

"Actually I do like it now."

"...eh?!"

"Yeah, didn't I tell you?"

"No you didn't!" Omni yelled in shock.

"Oh, well now I did." Yui said with a smirk.

"...ok. Anyway, is that a good bet to use?"

"Works for me."

"Ok. I chose Kamen Rider!"

"Which means I gotta make up the monsters he's gonna fight?"

"Yes."

"Well, if we're gonna do this, we might as well try and make it more...in the season."

"So no easter bunny?" Omni joked while Yui smacked him with a halibut. "YOW!"

"No easter bunny." Yui deadpanned. "We are doing a Halloween themed set of monsters and Kamen Rider."

"Ow, ok. That can work." Omni groaned while rubbing his chin. 'OW!'

"But first, we need some place open for us to work."

Omni nodded before opening a portal and caused them to vanish.

(Elsewhere)

-Unknown Dimension-

And appeared in a world with very little anything, just a white void of nothingness.

"Ah, this is a good spot." Omni smirked. "For in this timeline, the DC Multiverse was invaded by the Nobodies of Kingdom Hearts and caused the Anti-Monitor to become a Nobody, wiping out all reality in the process including itself."

"Perfect." Yui smirked before noticing that Omni was taking out a small black book from his robes along with a pen. "What's that?"

"Oh, this is just a medium I use to make characters. Keeps them grounded in literary reality and so I don't forget what I think into reality."

"Makes sense to me." Yui shrugged while Omni walked a little away from him as a thick red line appeared between them.

"Your creations stay on your side and my creation stays on mine. That way we don't sabotage our own work, oh and before I forget, we can make up the personal histories and characteristics of our creations."

"Example?"

"Like giving a monster a personality or giving the Rider an extra trait or skill based on their history."

"..."

"Just give them something so it's not mindless or just a simple monster."

"Gotcha."

(Hours later)

"Well, lets see your army Yui." Omni smirked while his side of the line was obscured by a red curtain.

"Why me? You're the one with the Rider."

"Simple, I want to show my Rider in a dramatic display and I just want to see the monsters." Omni shrugged.

"Excuses, but fine." Yui shrugged while causing the ground to break apart. "But I'll show you how a real master of the dramatic does it! Behold! The perfect monsters to crush your puny rider!"

Omni blinked while Yui caused red lightning to hit the ground, allowing several beings to appear from the fissure. "..."

The first to rise up was a creature wearing a top hat, with an eyeglass piece that showed an empty socket. It wore a ragged gentlemen's coat with a white shirt under it looking red slightly with a pair of shoes that had blades sticking out through the front. It was grinning widely and showing a row of knives instead of teeth with a dark cowl on it's back, reddish skin, and two long knives instead of hands.

The second to rise up was a humanoid wearing dark purple robes that obscured everything but it's sickly green eyes, blackened arms dotted with tube like nails filled with a white substance and expelled a thick purple mist from its obscured jawline.

The third to appear was a dark grey werewolf with a noose around its neck with several others dangling off it's arms and legs with sharp claws and teeth, with what looked like a dolly hanging off from it's waist.

The fourth being to rise up was a man with aging gray hair, dark black eyes, a sinister grin with blade like teeth, arms made of razor blades, wearing a bloodied black tux and pants as his neck and legs were dripping blood.

The fifth was decked out in a black ball gown dress with red frills on the sleeves, edge of the skirt, and around the top half. It had sharp canine fangs with pale and sickly hands, with red lipstick, a D cup chest and small ass, and long messy hair that looked like it was soaked in blood.

The sixth one was a dark red medieval knight with lovecraftian tentacles jutting from its arms and legs as the bodies of children formed its lower half, which was similar to a blackened dragon skeleton.

The final being was a massive humanoid castle of wires, flames, broken piles and bones that seemed to be covered in red electrical energy as its fanged mouth grinned a sadistic smile.

"Say hello to my creations, aren't they things of beauty?"

Omni yawned. "So what are their characteristics, history and personalities?"

Yui grumbled at his partner's lack of enthusiasm. "Oh come now, can't you tell? These are no mere monsters. Why they are based on some of history's worst killers."

"Ok. And?"

"AND!? These are icons of horror!"

"Yes, back before the moving pictures." Omni yawned. "Not really scary unless the people are history nerds." '...I think I just mocked myself.'

"Oh yeah? Well let's see what your rider is then if you're not pissing yourself."

Omni coughed while pulling back the curtains to reveal a tall pale skinned woman with long black hair that went to her shoulder blades, dark heterochromia eyes, one light blue and the other dark amber yellow, a D cup chest and wide ass, wearing a long floating black coat with long sleeves, a long skirt that covered her black leggings, a thick black fur boa that wrapped around her shoulders and around her neck as it went down to her black high heeled shoes, and a single silver choker around her neck. "Meet Dracila Von Hemia. Hero of the Veiled Fear and destroyer of Moneos."

"...you sure that's not just the Ring girl with an updated fashion sense?"

"What no, she's based on Dracula's Daughter." Omni deadpanned. "Anyway, want a history lesson for her?"

"If she didn't have one, then she couldn't be a real rider."

"True." he sweatdropped. "In her timeline, the world is filled with monsters called Moneos, who were originally products of fiction until a man called Vadimir Gore created a device to bring them to life and control them so they could help the world. This had an unfortunate consequence as he gained a separate yet physical personality called Hyde who freed all the classic monsters for his monster army. This young lady, who is a fan of horror films, met Gore during an attack by the Dracula Moneo and using the device, called the Diable Belt, became the heroine Kamen Rider Mon-Ztar and defeated the Moneo, gaining it's Proof of Fear in the process."

"A what now?"

"A Proof of Fear is what powers a Moneo and allows the Diable Belt to add its power to gain ner forms and abilities. As for Dracila here, she is a cold and calculating woman with an inverted personality and a semi introverted mindset. This was due to a battle with Hyde that went sour and well, she's trying to stop the Moneos from taking over."

"Sounds possible to me." Yui said while shrugging. "But where's the belt?"

"She will show you during the battle." Omni said while currently using his book and pen to recreate a particular location, that being the planet Krypton itself. "And this will be the battlegrounds!"

"Krypton?"

"Yeah. Wanted something with crystals." Omni shrugged. "So ready?"

"Alright, time to see which comes out on top. Go, my creations! Show her your dark and warped mindsets!"

The monsters growled while the woman moved her boa to the side to reveal a a dark gold belt with a long crimson lever like switch, two silver dials on each side of the belt with white circular pictures inside said dials that had a black silhouette plastered onto it and bordered by several lines, and a large golden dial on the top of the belt that seemed to be rusted with age, on her belt.

"Time for fear." she muttered in a low mesmerizing tone while moving the switch back.

[_**Mon-Ztar Rise.**_] it said in a dark and creepy voice as black electrically charged fog began to cover her body.

"Henshin."

SLAM!

ZAP!

ZAP!

[_**Mon-Ztar Time!**_] the voice said while electricity shot out along with the fog to reveal a white bodysuit with thick slim black armor on the shoulders, hips, torso and legs, two long horn-like protrusions on her helmet that curved near the tips, a gold 'M' shaped over the eyes with two tiny teeth near the mouth, long curved nails and tiny black spines near the arms and leg areas, and holding a large gray broadsword with overlapping plates covering it's surface as the visor glowed. [_**Fear! Fear! Fear Fear Fear! Fear the Queen, Mon-Ztar of Fear!**_]

"Attack my monsters!" Yui yelled while seeing Kamen Rider Mon-Ztar turning a dial and saw the blade transforming into a pair of white curved hand blades as the images dimmed on the dial, except for one that was illuminated a bright red color.

[_**Dracula Blades! Fear the Impaler!**_]

The hero sidestepped the top hat wearing monster and slashed at it, causing the monster to shake in confusion.

"Huh? What's going on here madam?"

She looked at Yui and dodged an attack from the 'vampire woman' before kicking her in the face. "Mon-Ztar Blade. Perfect tool for any Moneos problem."

"Oh...so it's a mulichange weapon."

"Yes." she said before changing the dial again and caused the blades to turn into two pink pistols filled with a strange substance.

[_**The Blob Guns! Eat the Town Dry!**_]

BAM!

BAM!

"AH!" cried the purple robed humanoid as pink goo like bullets hit it and started to melt the robes. "What is this?! It burns!"

"Acid." she said before firing at the other monsters as she jumped over bloodied 'barber' and fired at his face.

"AHH!" he screamed, grabbing at his face while swinging his arms at her wildly.

She changed the dial again while her weapon vanished and she gained extra muscles.

[_**King Kong Power! Kill the Dinosaur with POW-ER!**_]

PAPOW!

This caused the monster to go flying from a single punch before she changed the dial again and caused her body to vanish into nothingness.

[_**Invisible Man Power! Madness in the Unseen World!**_]

"Ha! You think you're safe?" scoffed the werewolf before sniffing around the spot, and grinned before tossing several nooses out, which snagged onto the rider as she was still invisible. "I can still find you from your smell."

She changed back before spinning to the side, causing the werewolf to go flying towards her, as she kicked him in the face, releasing the rope's hold on her as she turned a dial and caused her hands to gain thick gray bandage like gauntlets.

[_**Mummy Gauntlets! Imhotep Rises, Kharis Returns!**_]

"Huh-AH!" he got out while getting wrapped by the bandages and was then used as a battering ram for the other monsters.

"I will not perish today." She said before seeing the 'vampire woman' and the top hat man and charged at them, releasing the werewolf in the process as she turned the dial and caused her armor to become sleeker, akin to fur, with a massive bazooka cannon in the shape of a wolf's head attached to her right arm.

[_**Wolfman Cannon! Silver Bullets under a Full Moooooon!**_]

BAM!

A silver blast of energy hit the monsters as they were sent flying, with the knight getting angry as it's lower legs caused a massive swamp to appear from its feet.

"Drown you whore!"

She blinked and got stuck in the water before changing the dial and caused her clawed hands to gain a yellow webbing.

[_**Creature of the Black Lagoon Power! Gugle Gugle, Out of My Element I'm NOT!**_]

"I'll drown you and make sure you suffer through every single second!" he roared before seeing the warrior diving into the water itself and as fast as a bullet swam towards the knight before she changed the dial again and gained a massive gray steel mace with wires attached to it.

[_**Frankenstirn Monster Mace! ZAP! Prometheus Strength!**_]

BAM!

ZAP!

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed while getting electrocuted as the woman turned the dial and caused a pair of black fly wings to appear on her back.

[_**The Fly Power! Fusion Abound, Scientific Insanity!**_]

"Your blood will make my skin feel smooth like leather!" the 'vampire woman' smirked while throwing a lance made of blood at the woman, only for her to dodge. "What!?"

"I can fly fool." she said before changing the dial and caused the wings to vanish, only for her body to turn into smoke and vanish.

[_**The Phantom of the Opera Power! Haunting Music, Christine~!**_]

The woman looked around while seeing the woman appear behind her and stabbed her. "I got-"

POOF!

Only for her to vanish in a puff of smoke as the real heroine appeared behind her, blades of smoke forming around her as they went flying like bullets as the woman got stabbed.

"AHH!" she cried as the heroine changed the dial and gained thick scales on her arms as her body grew a few feet in height.

[_**The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms Power! Atomic Explosion! Raise the Death Toll!**_]

POW!

The woman went flying from a single punch as the other monsters decided to charge at her as she changed the dial and caused her to shrink back as the 'mouth' on her helmet turned into a permanent grin with the armor becoming thicker and more like a crusader's suit of cold iron.

[_**Gwynplaine Power! The Man Who Laughs, Fear Upon All!**_]

She spun around and began to punch each of the monster's faces, causing a strange black aura to form around them.

"Ow!"

"Hey!'

"Grab her!"

That was when the heroine, seeing that fear didn't affect them, changed the dial and caused her grin to vanish and a small paintbrush like rapier to appear in her hands.

[_**Dorian Gray Sword! Painting the World though the Devil's Rot!**_]

She slashed at the monsters while causing black paint to form all over them, corroding them as the werewolf and the knight had enough and ganged up on her.

"I'm going to hang you up by your entrails!"

"Ah! Get off!" she growled while the top hat wearing monster slashed her with his knives, causing her pain before she changed the dial and gained a good fifty feet or so.

[_**Fifty Foot Woman Power! Revenge Time, SWASH!**_]

She caused her arms to increase in size before slamming them at the monsters.

RUMBLE!

"AHH!"

But that was when the castle monster used this opportunity to 'spit' ash in the hero's face and blinded her as the monster punched her head off.

CRASH!

The body fell over and decreased in size while Yui noticed that the dial was changed, possibly before the impact, and that her body was fixing itself, head included.

[_**Zombie Power! Braaaiiinnnsss~! Rising Hunger~!**_]

"Wow, Deus ex Machina." Yui sweatdropped while a dark aura covered the hero and the dial turned by itself.

[_**Hyde Power! Jekyll Falters, Hy-den Force Awaken! Ha ha ha!**_]

A dark fog covered her as her armor became completely black, the visor became a sickly red color and her claws gained a sickly green color.

"Looks like it's Dark Rider time." Omni said while eating some popcorn. "I suggest you fuse the seven monsters into one, or she might destroy them all before showing off her final form."

"Fine. Make my monsters fuse!" Yui grumbled while hoping that the Rider would just fall already, as she felt a little OP at the moment.

"Oh fine." he shrugged before zapping the seven monsters and transformed them into a tall humanoid female with bone like armor, long white hair, dark red eyes, a G cup chest and wide ass, sharp dagger like teeth, long knife like fingers, sharp high heeled boots, a demonic shadow that extended from her feet to her back that had squid like arms and legs, a small set of teeth, smoke like hair and amber eyes. "Meet the Serial Doomatrix."

"AHHH!" the rider roared while charging at the newly named Serial Doomatrix with her clawed out wide.

Said monster grinned before swinging her claws, cutting through the rider's suit and drawing blood, before the squid arms lashed out and started whipping at her from several directions.

"AH!" she roared while the pain was immense, but she charged at the monster.

SLASH!

Only to get slashed in the face, her helmet breaking as the belt overheated and canceled the transformation on the spot, making her fall to the ground.

"Ha! Foolish mortal, no one can destroy me!" laughed the creature while licking her lips. "You trying to fight me is precious, it makes me wanna just gobble you up~ I'll bet that body of yours is just dying to unwind, so let me help~"

"Ah...you...moneros...will never win…" she got out while getting slashed by the tentacles. "AH!"

"That's it, bleed and squirm, it makes this moment all the better~" she laughed while hitting her again and again, causing blood to fall on the crystalline ground, making Yui smirk with glee.

"How's your precious rider gonna get out of this one? Trick question! She won't! This is the horror and terror that comes from real live monsters, and not ones in the 2D realm." Yui chuckled while Omni smirked. "What?"

"In her world, she has faced evil incarnate and never once saw failure." he narrated as the monster kept on hitting the woman with tentacles. "Yet on this day, the classic monsters fail her and true defeat is at hand."

"AH!"

"Ha ha ha ha!"

"Yet." Omni continued as Yui noticed that the woman's eyes were filled with hope and terror, not defeat, as the golden dial started to look cleaner and usable. "For all of the monsters in this world, only one has stood the test of time. One that brought forth evil and pain as well as hope. This monster is the arch king of the world and yet has not failed or died, but gotten stronger."

Dracila stumbled up while her right hand reached for the golden dial and twisted it to the right.

[_**Horrific Mon-Ztar Rise.**_] the belt said as black and gold electrically charged fog began to cover her body.

"Hen...Henshin!"

SLAM!

ZAP!

ZAP!

[_**Mon-Ztar Time!**_] the voice said while electricity shot out along with the fog to reveal a golden bodysuit with thick slim black armor on the shoulders, hips, torso and legs, three long horn-like protrusions on her helmet that curved near the tips, a gold 'M' shaped over the eyes with two tiny teeth near the mouth, long curved nails and tiny black spines near the arms and leg areas, a long golden cape with different monster silhouettes on them, and holding a large golden claymore with a ruby red dice like device on it's tip as the visor glowed. [_**AH! The Arch Queen! Adapt and SCREAM! Fear! Fear! Fear Fear Fear! Fear the Empress, Arch Mon-Ztar of Fear!**_]

"What!?" both the monster and Yui yelled in shock while Omni chuckled.

"For the ultimate monster is no beast or killer, but the entire race of humanity itself. It's power-"

She reached for the dice and spun it around as it landed on a human skull, causing it to glow a dark red color.

[_**All Powers! Human! AH! The Monster!**_]

"Is adaptation itself!"

She charged at the monster while slashing at the air, sending the astral forms of a mace, a pair of guns, and a small rapier at them, dealing great damage in the form of acid, lightning and corroding paint, in the process.

"Ahhhh!" screamed the fusion as she backed up and tried swatting at the attacks.

"Hey! Humans are real though!" Yui yelled in shock.

"Yet they created all the monsters in this world to deal with fear." Omni said while seeing the Rider using all her powers, including a mix of The Fifty Foot Woman, The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms and King Kong's abilities to push back the combined monster into a corner. "Real or fictional, humanity is the one to create fear and adapt to said fear. That is why this form is a final form for a horror based rider."

"RAAAH! I'm going to eviscerate you again and again!" the monster roared before seeing the rider snapping her fingers as a black and white Matchless Model X model motorcycle with long horn-like handles, a wolf-like jaw in place of a steering tube, golden headlights and a long saddle with a bladed edge near the back that zigzagged down towards the back wheel, appeared from nowhere and slammed into her, causing her to stumble as the rider jumped onto the bike and used the astral version of the Wolfman Cannon to blast the monster into the air before revving the bike.

ZOOM!

ZOOM!

And sped towards the falling monster before jumping back and allowed the bike to collide with her.

[_**Mon-Ztar Bike CHARGE!**_]

CRASH!

BOOM!

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" The monster cried out as the bike vanished as the rider flipped the switch on her belt three times.

[_**Final Horror!**_] it laughed while her cape glowed with a golden light that soon entered the blade and became a demonic dragon. [_**EMPRESS DRAGO SLASH! HAHAHA!**_]

The monster panicked and quickly formed a black sword from her own body and charged at her. "I WILL NOT BE KILLED BY A HUMAN!"

"Back to the films you monero scum! HA!"

SLASH!

SLASH!

Omni looked at Yui and quickly covered himself in a protective shield. "You might want to protect yourself-"

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

And cue a massive explosion of energy hitting Yui and annihilating the surrounding area in the process.

"...oh that gotta hurt."

"Ya think?" Yui coughed while currently naked and censored for some reason.

"Need a new cloak?"

"Nah, I like letting my jewels breath." He said while Omni facepalmed and threw a new black cloak over him. "HEY!"

"Time and place Yui." he sighed while looking at the newly formed crater.

And...saw that both were still standing...now fossilized.

"Damn, they both survived! Somehow." Yui yelled in disbelief.

"Well, it's a tie." Omni sweatdropped. "And since both are fossilized, it looks like the bet is won by both sides."

"And lost too."

"That too."

"So what do you want exactly? Money? To make this rider a new series?"

"Oh, I just wanted a hug and permission to take the Young Justice cartoon's team, past and present, on a DC omniversal road trip." Omni smiled while Yui looked at him in shock. "What?"

"That's it? Really?"

"Yep. That's really it."

"Why not ask for a hug beforehand?"

"Because usually when I ask it's either 'I'm busy' or 'Is this a trick'." Omni sweatdropped.

"...I wasn't wrong."

"Just give me a hug and permission for the Young Justice omniversal road trip so we can figure out what you wanted from this bet." Omni deadpanned while extending his arms out.

Yui sighed before hugging the guy.

This lasted a long while before Yui finally let go of him.

"Thanks, so what was your idea if you won the bet?"

"I could tell you, but then I'd have to censor myself since I don't think the readers could handle my brand of perversion."

"...fine. But if it's too crazy then I'm out." Omni said before making a portal.

"Wait what about the Rider?" Yui asked while pointing to the crater, only to find that the woman was missing.

"What Rider?"

"...clever girl." Yui muttered while the camera zoomed into the distance, revealing the heroine riding the Mon-Ztar Bike into the sunset. "Clever girl."

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Author's note: Go ahead and give a look see at my Deviantart account, the name of which you can find near the top of my profile. I've got a few reviews on random stuff I feel are ones that point out some rather good viewpoints.


	34. Chapter 34

List of oneshots part 4

chapter 34

The last man on earth is needed by all the existing pantheons to keep them from NOT dying.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

We find ourselves where most people wish they could go when they die. Heaven!

...

Ok actually it's not heaven from Christian fate, but it IS somewhat similar since it's up in the clouds and was shining all over. There were numerous figures lazing around on the clouds, all at peace with the world around them.

"Ahhh, today feels perfect. Oh wait, it's always that way." Chuckled one figure happily.

"Yeah, the people are happy, life is perfect, everything is gre-"

BOOM

The place shook with the figures blinking and sat up.

"What was that?"

"I don't kn- oh my god, the earth! It's on fire!"

"WHAT?!"

"Oh my god, they're dying, all the humans are dying!"

"But that can't be!" They cried as they ran towards a large model of the earth which currently was burning and had multiple mushroom clouds appearing on it. "How could this happen?!"

"It shouldn't! Last time we checked they had stopped using those nukes!"

"Well they're using them now! Oh god, are they all dead?!"

"SILENCE!" boomed a loud voice coming from a man with an eyepatch, long white beard, raven on his shoulder, and holding a staff as he walked over. "Everyone stay calm. We have lived since the dawn of creation and humans will find any method to fight and kill, but keep in mind. No matter if it is the past, present, or future, they will find a way to come back and continue on living."

"But... what if they don't? Let's check the population and see how many are left sir."

"No need to worry, for my wisdom has already let me know there is..." the god blinked and went wide eyed with his good one as the raven started to caw. "No...no, this can't be. It's far too ridiculous."

"What, what is it?!"

"There... is only one." he spoke up while pointing to the USA with shock.

"One?"

"Only one?"

"But...that means..."

"The human race can't come back!" declared a figure with tanned skin with the face of a falcon with a white garb that covered his waist with a frown.

"They're doomed!"

"Then that means we're doomed too!"

All of them began to panic at the idea while a white bearded man in a toga with gold bracelets huffed and clenched his hands.

"Stop panicking, we can fix this, we created Humanity so we can recreate them, right?"

That made all of them stop and look at him.

"...I... I don't think we can do that again, I mean how long has it been since we did that, we might mess up!" Said a woman in a white toga with a Greek war helmet on her head.

"Agreed, especially when SOME of us have gotten rather arrogant." idly remarked a red head who was floating while wielding fire in one hand while dressed up like some sort of nordic jester.

"Wait, you said there was one human left, right? Maybe we could use them to make more?" suggested a woman with long blond hair and in a pink toga that barely covered her breasts with her legs exposed.

"Ugh, you idiots are forgetting the important part, we need people to remember us! If that's the only one left we need him to worship us, or at least know us or we're screwed!" growled a man wearing red greek armor while holding a sword and spear. "I can already feel my power fading away without more people to hate and want to kill each other."

"Well what can we do, just appear in front of him and demand that he worship us?" Scoffed one goddess as the others paused.

"Actually...that might work."

"Yeah, I mean it's only one human, it's not like it would be impossible."

"If anything he'd be so overcome with joy and relief to see us help him he'd probably try to erect new statues in our honor."

"Yeah.. hey! If he favors one group more then they'll be the new top gods!"

That instantly made all of them go silent and narrow their eyes at each other.

"Now now... let's or do anything hasty..." spoke up the toga wearing bearded man before seeing the gods all glow and vanish from the air making him growl with thunder booming. "How dare you try to one up Zeus!"

"Fear not Zeus, they will not succeed." spoke the one eyed bearded man patting him on the shoulder. "Hey, I think I see something wrong on your face."

"Huh? What are you talking about?" he asked before the raven flew over and started pecking at his face. "AH!"

"That!" spoke the bearded man before glowing and vanished along with the crow.

"Damn you Odin!"

All the deities raced down to earth, where it looked like most of the landscape itself was burned away with buildings collapsing and anything living quickly dying.

"Ok, where is he, where is he?!"

"He couldn't be far!"

Meanwhile we began to move away from the gods and head underground, down a long concrete staircase, past multiple heavy doors until we reached a massive underground bunker.

In said bunker housed so much food and supplies you'd think it was a walmart. And in connecting rooms were vast libraries, large movies rooms and every other kind of entertainment that could be thought of. And on the couch in one of the main rooms was a man in a blue jumpsuit who fast asleep, his mop lying next to him.

He was snoring away while scratching his stomach while having long wild unmanaged black hair while drooling a little. His face had a bit of stubble as he scratched it before yawning and groggily opening his eyes.

"Mmmm...boy, I needed that nap." He yawned as he stretched himself out.. He got up off the bed and cracked his back. "Better get back to work." He picked up the mop and began to get back to cleaning the floor. "If that asshole boss of mine sees me napping he'll give me another lecture. 'Oh! Can't you do anything right? Is this the thanks you give for such a simple job?' Oh yeah, real simple. Cleaning a huge ass base for a paranoid douche who probably wasted all his money." he muttered rolling his eyes. "The day this place gets used is the day I run into a bunch of weirdos from some far away country." He muttered as he kept working, unaware that all the doors leading outside had locked themselves down.

Outside though, the gods and goddesses kept on searching for the lone human.

"Come on, where is he?!"

"I can sense his presence, but there's nothing here!"

"Were we too late? Is he... dead?"

"Don't be foolish!" Snapped Zeus. "He has to be here somewhere!"

"Well it's plainly obvious where he's at." smirked one figure with dark skin, four arms, and short black hair with baggy white pants. "He heard you were coming and buried himself alive."

"I dare you to say that again Shiva, see what happens."

"Oh no, the big bad Zeus will get me. What will I ever do? Oh yeah! Just destroy the universe and make it again." smirked the figure with Zeus' eyes lightning up and the sound of thunder heard. "You forget old man, I've got more power than you and your whole pantheon. You wanna throw down? Go ahead, it'll save you the time of waiting to fade away to oblivion."

"Both of you shut up! You can resume your pissing match AFTER we've found the human!" frowned Zeus with his eyes flashing like lightning. "If you have time to run your mouth, you have time to start digging in the dirt."

"Wait, I think I sense something!" Dionysus cried out as the gods and goddesses froze. "I sense…. Wine! Pure, safe wine!"

"Dionysus, now is NOT the time." frowned a dark skinned being with the head of a jackal.

"No no, I mean wine that's not tainted by radiation. And it's coming from right under us, there must be some sort of safe area buried deep below the ground." He said as he began to dematerialize.

"Quick, follow him, he's traveling to the wine, and if there is a human there then we need to go now!"

Slowly the beings followed while underground the man put the mop aside and looked at the floor.

"Alright, that takes care of the floor. Now to get to work on the inventory, oh joy." He muttered, rolling his eyes. He made his way to a large pair of doors, and after pushing them open he groaned as he stared into a warehouse sized storage area with thousands of crates, shelves and bins. He went to grab a clipboard on the side with a pen and started making his way down an aisle. "Let's see here."

BANG BANG BANG!

He jumped and dropped the items, turning towards the way that led to the entrance and blinked. "Poor guy must have shown up. Maybe he's coming to give me a raise for all the work I've been doing, or maybe to give me vacation days."

"Yes, I knew it, this place is safe!"

"Quick, find the human!"

'Wait, that doesn't sound like the boss… crap, burglars!' He quickly grabbed the mop and felt nervous and scared, especially since there was no way out other than the one way door. 'What are they doing down here? There's nothing valuable to steal except canned corn.' He thought as he began to nervously close the door to the storage room when a large hand stuck itself between the doors.

"A-HA!"

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" He screamed while jumping back as the doors slammed open and suddenly found a huge crowd of people rushing inside. "Don't kill me! Take anything you want!"

"We want you mortal!"

"Oh god, you're cultists!" He paled while dropping the mop and pulled out a can of mace. "Back up! I'm armed!"

"Calm down mortal, we mean you no harm."

"Worship us damn it! We're desperate!" Cried out several at once.

"Who are you people, how did you get in here?!" he cried out looking around himself at the people and raised an eyebrow when he saw some with wings, tails, animal heads, and even some looking big enough to touch the ceiling. "And what's with the weird costumes?"

"QUIET!" boomed out Zeus, quickly making everyone go quiet as he walked out in front of the crowd, the human himself noting how the guy could make a physical trainer green with envy. "All of you have no manners in a situation like this."

"Uh….if you wanna raid the place, go wild, but there's nothing much here worth it." gulped the man.

"You misunderstand mortal, we are the gods, we have been worshiped throughout human civilization, but now, you, as the last human alive, must worship us all." Declared Zeus before the human blinked and raised a finger.

"Uh...what? What the hell are you on about?"

"Zeus speaks the truth." spoke Odin walking forward.

The man looked between them and the crowd before shaking his head. "Hold up, I think I get what's going on. My cheapskate boss wanted a good laugh, so he hired all of you to trick me, didn't he? I always knew that old coot didn't wanna pay me much, but if it's a sick joke like this, he'd spend an arm and a leg just to get a laugh." He said as he rolled his eyes, only for Athena to hold up a monitor, showing a destroyed world, cities reduced to ash, the whole nine yards.

"It is no lie or trick, the humans have killed everyone but you in nuclear war."

"Suuure they did, just like I'm sure this isn't some cheap mask." He walked over to Anubis and felt around the face. "Do I look like I was born yesterday? Any dope can make a cheesy mask like this, but that just means it can come off easy." He started to tug at the fur, making the god annoyed while it held on. "Wow, pretty good cheesy one."

"Let go of me human or I will rip your face off." Growled Anubis. "You don't need one for worship."

"Oh yeah? Well if this isn't a mask, then this shouldn't hurt." He reached up and gave the ears a yank down, making the god roar out, showing off his sharp teeth and making the man pale before finding his throat grabbed in a vice, cutting off his air and lifted up as the god of death snarled at him. "Gah...oh...my….god….."

"Oh my gods, you're worshiping multiple now." Athena added. "Anubis, forgive him, he was ignorant."

"I should rip your throat out for that." he growled at the man before dropping him, watching as the man gasped and rubbed his throat before looking up at him and the others with realization.

"I….you mean….I'm….really the last human….on Earth?"

"Yes, all the rest are dead." Zeus said with a nod as he pulled out a scroll. "Now then, onto business, I declare that you are my new follower, and this scroll contai-"

"A-AAAAHHHH!" He screamed, jumped up and started running around in a circle. "I'M THE LAST HUMAN ON EARTH!"

"Ah, I have forgotten that humans are quite emotional and don't take bad news well." Zeus said with a groan.

"Eh relax, he'll pass out after exerting himself." shrugged Shiva. "Then we can get to the good stuff."

"Nonsense, I can get him to listen in no time." Remarked Loki with a smile.

"Oh god, I-I can't live like this, the only human, I-I...I have to kill myself, I will not live my life alone!"

"NO!" yelled out the crowd as the man looked around.

"Where's the pen? One good jab to the neck should do the trick!"

"Restrain him!"

(five minutes later)

"Easy, easy, just relax, ok? Breathe." Aphrodite said as the man breathed into a paper bag. "In and out."

"In retrospective we should have been a little bit more… gentle with the news that everyone he knew and loved is dead." Sighed Horus.

The man paled before he began to hyperventilate again.

"Horus!"

"What?"

"You're not helping!" She snapped as she rubbed the man's back. "He needs time to deal with this, he's not in any shape to start worshiping us."

"Oh please, we used to have worshippers even on their deathbed, or when some were being eaten by snakes." Set scoffed.

"Well he isn't them, and if you want him to worship you then you need to change your attitude.' Freya frowned. "Ok, how about we introduce ourselves slowly?"

"Very well, I shall start." Odin cleared his throat and held his hand out to the side in a dramatic fashion. "I am Odin, forefather of the norse gods and god of wisdom."

"I….I'm Dave…. So gods are real?" He asked with several nodding. "But...But I thought all of you were made up? Tall tales people liked to talk about and use in comics."

"Nay Dave, those 'comics' you mortals speak of are far from the truth. Why they don't even bother to make my hair the right color." frowned Thor.

"And…. why are you all approaching me? You said something about worship, but most of you haven't really been worshiped for centuries, right?"

"To you perhaps, but that is not completely untrue. You see Dave, even as times progressed and changed, we still lived. As long as our tales were told and people knew about us, we continued to exist." Explained Zeus. "Why even tales told in confounded and strange tales of what you consider fiction was enough to keep us from fading."

"So as long as people talked and knew all that stuff, you could just keep on living? Forever?"

"Yes, and that's why you being the last human is problematic, we can't risk the knowledge of us being lost to time, and the nuclear bombs destroying most sources of knowledge we now have to turn to you." Bumba said with a nod.

Dave looked down and stood up before walking over to lean against the wall. "I thought today would be like any day. I get up, clean, do inventory, eat, then go back to sleep. But now? Now everything and everyone I know is gone." He closed his eyes before perking up and turned to them. "Wait! That's it!"

"What?"

"Well some of you guys are in charge of Hell right?"

"That's not it's only name, it has many."

"Whatever, can't you just find a way to bring them back? I mean you're in charge, so what's stopping you from pulling up the people who died?"

"It's not that easy, we can't just bring people back to life, even if we did the rest of the world is too irradiated to host life right now." Hades said with a frown. "We can't bring them here, and due to the ancient laws we can't bring people back to life after a certain amount of time, that's why in the ancient tales the hero always goes right to the afterlife to save their loved ones."

"But….hey wait, I know!" He smiled and looked around. "The ones everyone knows about. Where's God himself? Or Satan? I'm sure either of them could help, I mean they ARE pretty big."

"That…. Let's just say it's very, very complicated, and they can't help." Loki said as he rubbed the back of his head.

"Oh fuck me!" He cursed face palming and started banging his head against the wall. "Why the hell did this have to happen to me? Is it karma? Fate? Or is this some kind of cosmic messed up form of humor?"

"No, this is mostly humanities fault and dumb luck, you'd be surprised how much stuff is effected by that, like you surviving."

"And how we've had a hand here and there. Like Mt Fuji, remember that bro?" Spoke Ares turning to Hephaustus who huffed.

"Oh here we go with that. Let it go, or do I have to bring up the Helen of Troy debacle, I'm sure mom here would LOVE to remember that."

"Both of you shut up, we have bigger things to worry about." Snapped Thor.

"Yes, and I for one believe Dave here has been given a great opportunity. The last human, who shall keep us all surviving for the future of this planet. Quite an honor." Remarked Quatzalcoatl with a nod.

"Yes, the last human to keep our stories alive, to keep them true, to give us power…." Bast said before she started to trail off, realizing what that means as some of the other gods and goddesses began to connect the dots.

"I… could you give me some time to process this? I… I think I need to think about this, and I think it might be easier to process this if I could talk to some of you one on one instead of everyone at once." he said as he looked out at the sea of gods and goddesses. "I'll go back to my room to try and relax, and please, PLEASE don't try to cram all together in there, it's already tiny enough as is."

"Ok, some of us will come and visit you there in a bit to discuss things."

"Alright." He sighed as he made his way to the master bedroom, now his room by default, the gods calmly watching him enter, waiting for the door to close before they turned and glared at each other.

"ME FIRST!" Several yelled out. "NO ME FIRST! STOP THAT!"

"Hey, hey, hey! It is clear that I, as king of the gods, have the divine right to go first." Zeus said with a frown.

"Oh no no no, not this time." Frowned Hera. "Last I checked, it's free game now with so limited humans, which means everyone here has a chance at being no more, and you're no different 'husband'." She said with a wicked grin. "He's a blank slate, but we can tell him anything, he'll teach that to his kids and in a few generations our entire existence, our powers, could change dramatically!"

"Especially for the ones who he favors." Spoke up Tsukuyomi. "Which means you have a bigger chance at fading away compared to the rest of us."

"Yes, I say with the powers we have now we'll last for about a year, tops if we aren't worshipped, so we have plenty of time to convince him to favor one or two of us, becoming the new all powerful deity!" Laughed Eris. "Besides, your time as the supposed 'king' was over a long time ago old man."

"W-Why you littl-" Zeus growled before one goddess cleared her throat.

"Ok, ENOUGH! Before you all start a slugfest and destroy this place AND Dave, I say we draw lots on who he meets first, and in which order he meets us, that way it's completely random."

"Agreed, after all, we are not children, we are gods, we have our pride after all." Ra said as the others began to nod.

"Ok, let's draw reeds." Called Selket, her mandibles clicking. "We'll carve notches into them, the lowest is the first to see him, the highest is last."

"And no tricks here." Spoke up Loki sternly. "We are better than that."

"Agreed, let's do this." Hera said as Ra summoned a large bundle of reeds. "May fortune favor the lucky." She said, several gods glancing to Fortuna.

"If any of you try rubbing me for luck, I WILL show you my ugly side." She growled as the gods nodded before they began the process of pulling reeds.

(Later)

Dave stared at the ceiling, lying on a massive bed full of the softest pillow, most comfortable blankets, feeling like shit.

"So…. I'm the last human…." He muttered. "No friends….no family….no nothing….I wonder if this is what that guy from the Twilight Zone felt like."

He sighed as he sat up a bit and looked around. "Hell, I'm even stuck in this bunker, almost like it's a film set." he looked around the room before spotting a bookshelf filled with books and sighed. "At least I got SOMETHING to keep my mind focused, but I'd wish it was TV." he went over and looked around the selection before grabbing one at random and saw it was 'The Big Book of Mythology!', making him raise an eyebrow. "This is either a coincidence or some sick twisted sense of irony."

He groaned as he looked at it before sighing as he took it to the bed. 'If I have to deal with gods I might as well be prepared.'

With that he started to read through numerous tales and legends about the various pantheons.

'...Shit, none of these tales have a happy ending! Dead, dead, turned into a bull, tricked, raped by a stream of gold, dead, dead, dead, torture for all eternity?!' He looked while gulping and wincing. "They never showed that in Disney, and I'm kinda glad. These people have done some fucked up stuff."

Knock Knock

"Hello? Are you ready to see us yet?"

"Oh right, forgot about that." He muttered. "Sure!"

"Great!" Called a female voice with glee as the door slammed open. "Then feast your eyes upon the one and only Aphrodite~"

Dave blushed as she sauntered in and found his eyes staring before shaking his head. 'Focus man, now isn't the time to think with your other head, this is serious business.' "S-So, uh, what can I do for you, uh… you guys said something about worship?"

"That's right. If you choose to worship us, it'll keep us from fading away to nothing."

"And just what exactly does that entail? I mean I get the whole 'remember your stories' and stuff, but I mean I've been reading a little and is it true most worshippers did more than that?"

"Yes, there were elaborate rituals, but this is different circumstances, there's only a little you have to do, but there are…. Perks if you worship me the most~" She smiled with a seductive look which made Dave nearly jump and blush.

"Uh, well, could you give me a little more detail?"

"Oh I think you know what I mean, I am the goddess of love~"

'Focus!' Dave slapped himself to keep it together and took a deep breath. "Right, and you're not the only one from what I understand. There ARE other gods and goddesses who hold the same title."

"Yes, but does that really matter?" She smiled as he shook his head.

"Pass."

"...what?!" She spoke up with wide eyes and was caught off guard.

"Yeah, no offense, but I read up about gods and goeddesses and… sex sounds like a death sentance."

"Oh come on. I'm literally hot and sexy. All it takes to get all this is by worshipping me." Smirked the goddess winking while striking a pose as the man deadpanned.

"And again, I don't wanna risk my life if those legends I read up on are anything to go by."

"Hey! You can't trust those old tales you humans learn! Not all of them wound up bad."

"Alright, name one."

"Of course, there's… uh…." She started before faltering.

"And from what I read, you sure seem to get around, a lot." He said as he cleared his throat. "Plus, you're married."

"You mean Hephaustus? Oh come now, if you're worried he'll try something, he's used to this kinda thing."

"Yeah, I'd rather not risk it." He said as he shook his head."I'll do what I can to keep you from fading, but that's it."

"Oh come now, you can't tell me I'm not ravishing enough to at least try." She pouted as Dave shook his head.

"N-Normally I'd take you up on the offer, but there are hundreds of gods who'll be pissed if I ignored them in favor for you."

"Fine." she huffed before standing up and walked off with a frown and hurt pride. 'I can't believe it, I, Aphrodite, couldn't seduce some random mortal!'

'I hope I didn't just make an enemy.' He thought as a new deity quickly entered the room.

"Don't believe anything that bitch said, I can give you a much better time in bed than her!"

"And you would be?"

"I am Horus!"

"Wait, what? Aren't you a male god? Also I didn't sleep with her."

"Yes, I am what you mortals view as male, but that doesn't mean I can't do more than she could. She's been around so much not even Apophis could feel a thing."

"Ok… like I said before, I didn't agree to sleep with her, I don't plan to sleep with anyone." He said as he gulped nervously. "I mean I'm sure you've had….experience, but this isn't Hollywood, I'm not gonna sleep with people just to get into my favor."

"Ah, I see, you want gold, right? You mortals do love wealth." Horus said with a nod.

"Well yeah that does sound pretty good, but how could I use it without other people around? Wouldn't that mean they're just shiny and not really that valuable?"

"Um… technically yes, bu-"

"Then I don't really need wealth, so Horus, what do I have to do to worship you?"

"Uh…. not much, just uh…. Chant my name a bit I guess…"

"So like just say your name a couple times each day?"

"Well that's what my old worshippers did, albeit with huge stone statues in my likeness with gold tribute."

"Ah…. well I can't do that part."

"Yeah, I know, but as long as my name isn't forgotten it's fine." He sighed. 'Damn, of all the mortals to be left alive it has to be one who isn't corrupt, greedy or horny.'

"Wait, you mentioned Apophis, as in that giant snake you're always fighting? Isn't he still in the dark? Literally. Won't you have to be ready to fight him again come tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I don't really do that anymore…. Look, it's complicated, you know all those epic stories of gods battling monsters, heroes and so on? Well…. They are a bit exaggerated, but they give us power. The reality is that me and Apophis' 'eternal struggle' more or less lasted a few weeks, and we're cool now, she's actually next."

"She?" He responded as Horus walked out of the room. "I didn't know she was a chick."

"Hey, the ancient world wasn't exactly progressive, and let me tell you, she is excited to see you." He chuckled as he left out the door.

"Finally!" Came a loud voice followed by a hiss as a tall woman with black hair walked in, with white puffy pants and had snake eyes and teeth, without anything covering her chest. "You won't believe how relieved I am to get this chance to talk to you!"

"Y-You're Apophis?! Aren't you supposed to be massive or something like that, and a sn-" He started before she hissed and pressed a finger against his lips.

"Don't say that word!" she frowned before pulling it back.

"But, I was just going by what the book showed."

"Ugh! That damn book, it's all wrong, wrong wrong wrong!" She growled. "Yes I can change into a giant snake, and yes I did change into that form a few times when I fought Horus, but I'm not just a big S word!"

"Ok ok, no need to get mad." 'And possibly bite my head off.'

"Sorry, just…. Thousands of years of being misrepresented, it gets to you, but that can all change now!" She said as she looked at him with glee. "You will shape how I will be seen for generations to come, you will make it so I'm no longer seen as a monster!"

"Oh, is that all? You want me to make it clear that you're not a giant s-" He saw her hiss and look mad. "I mean, a giant limbless reptile?"

"Yes, and I will do ANYTHING to make sure that happens~" She said as she licked her lips. "How about I show you how grateful I am for you doing this, hmm?"

"Again, gonna have to pass on that. Not that I don't want it! It's just there's a lot of people to get through, and I don't think making them wait for a quickie would work out well."

"Oh please, they can wait however long they need too, you have a whole year until we run out of power, so we have plenty of time~"

'Oh crap!' He thought as she licked her lips before jumping right on top of him. "T-Thank you, but I don't think it'll end well if we do this, I-I turned Aphrodite away because I didn't want to make anyone mad or get myself cursed like the people in the book!" He cried as she glanced over at the mythology book.

"So you read that whole book and you think you know how to handle gods and goddesses now~?"

"I didn't say that." He said with a blush as she began to attempt to take off his pants.

"Good, because you may be right about what happens to people who have relations with the gods, but did you read what happens to those who deny them or anger them?" She chuckled as he began to pale. "I'm afraid you're in a no win situation~"

"...oh fuck me side ways."

"Don't mind if I do~"

"Hey! What's the hold up in there?" Called the next god outside banging on the door.

"Hold your horses, he's busy with me!"

"Really, I'll make sure future generations know who you really are! You don't gotta do this!" 'Crap! This is scary and hot, but if we start now it'll be a mess! Why couldn't I have had sex before all this happened!'

"Oh I know I don't have to, but what if I WANT to?" She chuckled with a smile. "Here's another thing you may not have realized about gods and goddesses, we're always in the mood for some fun, why else were there so many half bloods in mythology~?"

"Because the old days were boring and there wasn't that much to do to stay entertained?"

"Right, but still wrong, it's because we loved to have fu-"

CRASH!

"What's the hold up?!"

"I said hold your horses!" she hissed with the door knocked down by Agni who saw this and frowned.

"You can get to work on making demigods AFTER the rest of us have had our turn!"

"No, I want to do it NOW!"

"No, you'll wait your turn damn it, we all agreed, remembered?!"

"Just try it!"

"Gladly!" He ran over and tried dragging her out, along with a few other hindu gods coming in to help while she hissed and tried biting at them.

"No! No, no, no! Let me go, he will be mine, all mine!"

"Lock her up until we're done! And someone keep an eye on the others like her in case they try something like this!" barked Agni before turning to Dave who quickly pulled his pants up. "Until we get our turns, you can keep it in your pants."

"Don't gotta tell me twice." he muttered to himself. "I didn't have much say in what just happened."

"Yes, that will happen, you are dealing with beings older than time with unlimited powers, and who have little to no control." He admitted with his second head nodding. "Alright, so me, Agni, god of fire itself, won't make you do much. If you could merely make it clear that a ceremonial flame lit during weddings and other ceremonies is very vital, that's all I ask. It helps me witness very important events."

"Ok, no problem…. Actually give me a moment, I should start writing this down so I don't lose track." He said as he began to rummage around the room until he found a blank notebook and a pen.

"Good call, for all intended purposes this will be the new holy scriptures in the new world."

"Actually, before he left, I had a question for Horus. How is it so many gods and goddesses can be in charge of the same thing? I mean if there are other gods and goddesses of fire, doesn't that get confusing?"

"I understand your confusion, and the answer is actually quite simple, we share. For example sometime Apollo would pull the sun across the sky on weekdays, and Ra would do it on weekends. Everytime a new deity was created they were welcomed into the fold and we would split the duties again."

"So it's kinda like shifts in a job?"

"Exactly." Nodded the second head. "This is the only way all those stories of gods messing with mortals, partying, having fun, or having kids could happen. If they had to focus solely on their job they wouldn't have time for those things to happen."

"Wow….that makes so much sense." Admitted Dave.

"Just try to have a strong mind, you have quite the line." He remarked before leaving the room.

'You're telling me.'

(10 minutes later)

"Wait, YOU'RE Loki?"

"Yes."

"The Norse one right?"

"Is there any other?"

"Well no, it's just you don't look like how I imagined."

"Let me guess, you were expecting the version that company Marvel has been using, am I right?"

"...Kinda?"

Loki facepalmed and sighed. "Every time, every single time. Look, I DON'T have a big goofy helmet like that, I have a normal sized one like any other norseman. Granted I am still a trickster, but do you have any idea how long I kept getting messed with when they made that version of me? Thor wouldn't shut up until I kept poking fun at him and what they made him out to be. Here's a tip, he is very sensitive about his hair." Chuckled the Norse god. "Now then, about worshiping me, just make a small statue or plaque, leave a few offerings, a small prayer now and then, and that should do the trick."

"Doesn't sound so bad." Admitted Dave as Loki moved over closer.

"And between you and me, I think I have something to help sweeten the deal. You see, like many gods I am a father to several great kids, one of whom is single."

"...you're not gonna suggest the giant wolf are you?"

"Of course not. I'm talking about my daughter Hel. She's been single since she was born, and I think you and her could be quite the item." He smiled. "You'd have a wife, maybe make me a grandpa, and you'd have THE Loki as a father-in-law, sounds like a pretty good deal."

"Yeah…. As nice as that sounds I'm going to have to politely decline." He said as Loki frowned. "Not that she wouldn't make a wonderful wife, it's just that I still have hundreds of gods to talk to, and I'd rather not get smited for favoring you, or risk angering Hel when she learns you tried to marry her off to me without her consent."

"Oh no need to worry about that, she's as gentle as a breeze." He waved off, before a skull flew out and hit him, knocking him down as said daughter walked in with a frown.

"I knew you'd try that father."

"I didn't agree to anything, I swear!"

"I know, I heard." She reached down and started dragging Loki out. "Mother will be angry to hear this."

"Don't….tell her…."

'Ok, that makes this the third offer of marriage I've received.'

(2 hours later)

"Ok, judging by the winged shoes, you're Hermes right?"

"Bingo, the original messenger of the gods."

"So, what do I have to do to worship you to make sure you don't fade?"

"Well offerings of beef jerky could work out. I developed a spot for them a few hundred years ago, and to help sweeten the deal, I'd be more than willing to grant you a blessing." He smirked. "For instance, these shoes of mine? I'd be more than happy to grant you a pair."

"Thank you for the offer, but I don't think that'll work out, I'm confined to the bunker, remember? And in regards to beef jerky, I'm not even sure if there is any in the bunker, and if there is any it won't last forever." 'Although I could go for some right now.'

"Ah…. ok, I see… how about uh…. You play a lyre in front of a statue of me?" he suggested as Dave stood up.

"That'll work, now excuse me, I need to grab a bite to eat."

"Try not to get swamped." Hermes chuckled as Dave began to open the door. "Though that would be like asking you not to touch the sand at the beach."

'You're telling me.' He thought as he saw a huge crowd still waiting and cleared his throat. "We're gonna put a small break on things until I get something in my stomach folks."

"Hurry it up!"

"I'll get you some food!"

"No, I will!"

"I can get it! I know where the storage is!" Called another god as the crowd began to fight and argue, everyone trying to get Dave food in an attempt to get on his good side.

"I'll get it myself!" Dave called as he began to make his way through the crowd to the storage area. He looked at the huge shelves while trying to find something that seemed good. 'Let's see, canned corn, canned beef, canned pears… did this old guy have everything canned?!'

"Maybe I can help you get something more filling." Called a voice behind him, making him turn around in confusion.

"Huh?"

"As the goddess of agriculture, I could get you some fresh fruits instead." Smiled Demeter.

"Really? That would be great." He said with a smile. 'Great, at least I don't have to worry about starving to death in this bunker.'

She held her hand to the ground before a glow floated down it, before the concrete started to crack as a stalk started to grow, before branching out and started to grow a bushel of apples.

"Whoa! That's amazing...wait, doesn't that make the integrity of the bunker compromised?" He asked as he began to pale. 'If it's a nuclear wasteland outside this could kill me!'

"Not quite. After all the very ground this bunker is built right on top of is still good and fresh. It's deep down enough to where no radiation sunk into."

"Oh thank god…. Though maybe better safe than sorry, I think the old guy had a dedicated room for growing food in." He said as Demeter wrinkled her nose.

"But that place is so sterilized, there's barely any good dirt that doesn't have chemicals in it!"

"True, but they're chemicals that still help grow some food that I know won't give me two heads like outside."

"But there aren't any humans with two heads outside, they're all dead…. Also speaking of which, there are going to be a few gods and goddesses that….well…. Won't be in the best condition when you meet them." She admitted nervously. "Artemis is up next and well… you'll see in a bit."

'Uh oh.'

(5 minutes later)

'Let's hope she isn't in a 'shoot arrows at my head' mood.' He thought as he cautiously opened the door and called 'Next'.

"I-It's m-me...hic!" Called a slurred voice as a tall, athletic woman stumbled forward, garbed in camouflage with a large half empty bottle of vodka in her hand.

"Uh, are you Artemis?"

"Y-Yeah… let's get this ove-hic!-with…" She groaned as she stumbled into the room, making it a few feet before she lost her balance and fell onto the bed.

"Do you need a sec?"

"I-I need….deer!" She groaned out as he cautiously made his way to her.

"Well, that's kinda gonna be hard." He said as he rubbed the back of his head. "Seeing how they're all probably… you know…"

"DEAD!" She wailed out. "Everything's dead! Deer, bears, tigers, even rabbits, everything fun to hunt is dead!" She cried out while dropping the bottle on the floor. "What kind of goddess am I if there's nothing to hunt?!"

"Um…." he said as he grabbed the mythology book and began to flip through it. "You're also the goddess of uh… chastity and the moon?"

"So what, all the maidens are dead too and the moon is stupid!" She scoffed while rolling on her back and hiccuped. "It just hangs there in the sky, barren and empty without jack shit on it!"

"Ummm…. Maybe you could change that, you could make it so it could have life and then make some animals on there, make it your own personal hunting grounds."

"It doesn't work like that!" She snapped before crying. "Everything is ruined by those dumb stupid humens!"

'Not gonna stop her on that.' he thought as she tried to reach for the bottle to take another drink.

"So…. what now, how do you want me to worship you?"

"Give me something to hunt!"

"I'm not sure if I can do that." He said as he rubbed the back of his head. "I mean, there's only the gods left and me."

"...that could work." She said as she sat up, the gears turning in her head. "Ok, I need fake deer ears, a tail, and a bow and arrow."

"Wait, why?"

"Simple, once a month you wear the fake deer stuff, and then I'll hunt you in the bunker."

"Hell no!" He cried out with wide eyes. "I don't wanna be hunted!"

"Well I want to hunt! Don't worry, I won't kill you."

"That's not the point!" He argued as he shook his head."Look, I've agreed to some crazy stuff but I draw the line at getting shot!"

"It'll be fine, I'll use these arrows.' She said as she held out her hand and made a bow and several toy arrows with suction cups on them appear. "They'll hardly sting."

"...are those the only arrows you'll use?" He asked suspiciously, calming down as he saw that the arrows were relatively harmless. 'Those don't look too bad.'

"Yes, and I may set up some snare traps, but nothing that would kill you, I can't hunt you again if you die."

'Why does that not make me feel any less better?' He thought before sighing. "...Fine, I'll do it, but only once a month, ok?"

"Really? You swear?" She asked, sitting up quickly. "Y-You mean I can hunt again?!"

"Yes." He said as she gasped happily and pulled him into a hug.

"Oh thank you thank you thank you!" She laughed happily. "I-I have to start preparing right away! Oh, maybe I can get the moon idea to work! I'll talk to the other moon gods! This is going to be great!"

Dave rubbed his head and watched her run out with Bacchus poking his head in.

"Have you seen a bottle of vodka? I could have sworn I had it lying beside me."

"Artemis took it."

"Drat. Oh well, I'll go see if Dionysus has anymore."

"Fine, can you send the next god in?"

(Three days later)

"So Kali, what do you want me to do to try and help remember you for the future?"

"I want… you to kill your enemies and offer their blood to m-"

"No, no, no, we've been over this ten times! I told this to you, I told this to the Aztecs, and I told every other war god, I am the last human, I have no enemies, I can't offer you the blood, hearts, brains, or other organs of my enemies!" He groaned. "If all of you know the rest of humanity is gone, you should know this!"

"This is what I want! If you cannot give me that, what else can you give me?!"

"I can chant your name in front of a statue?"

"Bah! Like I haven't heard THAT enough times already."

"Then what do you want me to do? I can't kill anyone since there is no one else, you don't want me to chant your name, is there anything, ANYTHING else you want?!"

"... I like to dance…."

"Dance?" He asked as he sat up. "Ok, I can work with this, would you like me to dance in front of a statue of you, or maybe dance with you? What kind of dancing do you like?"

"I like…. To dance over the corpses of my enemies!"

"Damn it!" He facepalmed right as Shiva poked his head in.

"Kali dear, are you almost done?"

"Almost, we're talking about dancing over corpses."

"Not over corpses, I don't have any!"

"Well it's the only kind of dancing I'll accept!"

"Then I can't help you! I'm only one guy, the last guy, in fact there may never be any enemies for you to fight or corpses to dance over ever again!"

"Dear, maybe you could be more considerate." Sweatdropped Shiva.

"No, I want blood, corpses, bodies of my enemies!" She declared as Dave groaned.

"Shiva, can you take her and try to explain this, please, then have her come back later?"

He nodded and tried to pull her out. "Come along Kali."

"Don't make me walk across you! I demand blood!" She cried out as he tried to pull her away from the room. "BLOOOOOOOOD!"

'Wow, the legends painted her in a more...calm light.' He thought as he looked at the book. 'Maybe I have the wrong book?'

As he looked at the book the room began to shake as Zeus and Odin entered.

"Mortal, we both have something to speak to you about."

"Ok…. is it about the corpse thing? Because I keep telling them I can;t do that an-"

"No, it's not that."

"Oh, then continue."

"It has come to our attention that you are mortal, and the only way of ensuring that we don't fade."

"Yes?"

"Well, we have discussed it, and we have come up with several ideas." Odin said as he pulled out a large stack of papers. "We need you to sign this, all the gods and goddesses have signed this."

"And it is?"

"Well, in simple terms it is a plan to repopulate the world, we are trying to fix the world but it will take at least 150 years before it's no longer radioactive, and until then we need you to stay alive so we have decided to grant you partial immortality."

Dave looked at them in surprise and then the papers. "Immortality?"

"Partial immortality, you won't have the powers of a god, but you'll stop aging and you can't die, this way we can make sure no accidents kill us all."

"And to be sure you stick around long enough to make sure we don't fade away before there's a chance to repopulate this planet.

"... is there a catch?" He asked cautiously. "This sounds too good to be true."

"No catch."

"Ok…. do you mind if I read it, just to be sure?"

"Fine, also before you do, just know that several goddesses intend to help you repopulate the earth, including but not limited to Aphrodite, Apophis, Hel, Artemis surprisingly, Jörmungandr, Bast, and Selket."

Dave blushed hearing that and tried to keep from getting any funny images in his head. "O-Ok…. So I uh… I have to do this, right?"

"It's best for everyone, trust us." Odin said with a nod. 'And it will make surviving the 'repopulation' efforts more likely.'

"Well, you won't mind if I give it a read over, right?"

"Of course, go ahead, just keep in mind we aren't willing to change much that is in there, immortality is a tricky thing."

Dave took the paper and let his eyes run across the print while trying not to miss a single line for any possible loophole. 'Ok, keep calm Dave, I mean they're offering me freaking immortality, why would they try to trick me?'

"Are you finished?" Asked Zeus impatiently.

"Um…. you know what? Sure, I don't see how this could go wrong." He answered while using a pen to start putting down his signature.

"Great! Now then, prepare to become immortal!" Odin and Zeus held out their hands which began to glow, right before a beam hit Dave in the chest, making him cry out at the sudden surge of power. His body flashed brightly before the power died down and he fell to the floor.

"There, you are now immortal, you are still human, you just won't age or die or get sick." Odin said as Dave groaned.

"Great…." he let out, giving a shaky thumbs up. 'I feel like I just ate a car battery…'

"Now then, I shall tell the others that you are now immortal, be prepared for a few goddesses to visit you soon."

"Oh joy…" he let out while trying to stand up as the two left him. 'Ugh… this is immortality? I still feel like shit…'

"So, you're immortal now~" called a voice as he paled and looked up to see his closet door slowly opening. "Sounds like it's time for some fun~"

"A-Apophis? How….how long have you been in my closet?"

"Long enough to know that I better get first go on making kids before the others do~" She said as she licked her lips. "I can't wait to have fun~" She chuckled as she darted towards him and grabbed him before dragging him to the bed.

"Woah! E-Easy now! I'm still a virgin! I don't have that much experience!"

"Then I guess I'll have to help you, I promise to be gentle~"

He gulped as the camera panned to outside the room before the sounds of hissing and groans were heard, followed by the banging of the bed against the wall.

As this went on a line began to form outside the door, the deities growing impatient.

"Is he really doing THAT right now?"

"Damn it, we still have to talk to him!"

"Greedy bitch."

(Later)

"Uh….Bacchus was it? I'm not really sure about this."

"Why not, this is perfectly reasonable!"

"Bacchus… I cannot make a vineyard in the bunker, and I can't promise to have any of my future children be Maenads." He replied as the roman god crossed his arms. "I don't think I wanna imagine all of them partying instead of, you know, working out what they wanna do in life."

"But I've always had a cult!"

"Look, how about they make the choice when they're older, ok? And I might not be able to make a full blown vineyard, but I could grow some grapes in the garden room?"

"But that wouldn't bring in nearly as much wine!"

"Again, I am in a limited area, I can't make a vineyard, and even if I could there's no way I could manage it and worship all the gods at the same time."

"If I talked it over with Demeter and a few other gods I'm sure we could make it work."

"Look, please, I am only one guy I can't run an entire vineyard in a bunker, even if I grow all the grapes, where am I going to store all the wine while it ferments, where am I going to process it?" He groaned as Bacchus frowned.

"Back in the day it was simple to make wine, modern day humans just had a way to make a bigger batch quicker, but it wasn't impossible."

"Look, I don't know anything about making wine, can't I just offer you a cup of wine once a month or something?"

"Only one cup? Why don't you just make me go completely sober while you're at it." Bacchus frowned. "In my day I had magnificent parties held in my honor every week!"

"Well back then you had thousands of people worshiping you, now you're down to one, you're gonna have to make some sacrifices until the population starts to go up!" He frowned. "Either take some wine, or none at all."

"...Fine, but once every week!"

"Alright, that's more manageable." He said with a sigh as the Roman god got up to leave. 'God that took hours, I need a break.'

"My turn!" Called a familiar voice as Bast walked in, a large grin on her face. "It's been weeks!"

"Come on Bast, I gotta take a break, besides there are STILL other gods and goddesses who I've barely gotten to."

"Yeah, well I can't wait, and it's officially my time to meet with you and discuss worshiping me, all those other times were just for fun~"

"That's debatable." He muttered.

"Aw come on, no need to be so cold." She said as she made her way towards him. "How about this, you can rest for a bit, in exchange I get to rest with you."

"...This is a trap, you're just going to try and steal my bed again, aren't you?"

"Come now, I'm the goddess of cats, you really think I'd go off and do something like that, again?" She said with a catlike grin.

"Yes, because as far as I know this is the only real bed in the bunker, and the entire world, and you've tried it in the past." He remarked with a deadpan. "I'm pretty sure if we also had any sardines you would have scarfed them all down."

"...you're mean." She pouted as she looked away.

"No, I'm just not begging you to lay in my bed just to watch you take a catnap."

"Well too bad, it's happening." She smirked before daring past him and jumped onto the bed with a sigh of relief. "So soft~"

"Hey, shoo, get off, that's my bed damn it!"

"Noooo, it's perfect~" She purred happily. She inhaled the scent while Dave moved to pull her off, but she dug her claws into it. "I'm not moving, you can join me if you want though~"

"Oh no, I do that and then I'll really make the line hold up even more." He said with a frown. "I learned my mistake after that time with Apothis."

"But you had fun, and she was beaming all week."

"Believe me, if there wasn't a line, I'd be all for it, but I don't wanna be in the middle of getting lucky only for one of them to bust the door down, again."

"Well, there is a line and I'm not leaving, so you might as well have some fun~"

He sighed and shook his head. "What the hell, I'm on break."

"Great, now come to your goddess~"

He moved over as the screen went dark and the sound of hissing and purring was heard along with moans.

(Timeskip)

"Ugh…. how much longer until it's safe to leave the bunker?" Dave groaned as he collapsed on his bed. "It feels like forever since I even saw what it looked like."

"We have most of the nature gods working on it, but it should still be twenty five years until every bit of radiation is gone."

"Great, I'll be an old man by the time I can actually go out and smell any roses that are around." He groaned as Bast chuckled.

"You're immortal, remember? You have all the time in the world."

"In hindsight, that's still something to get use to."

"True, but you're also forgetting that it'll be a busy twenty five years for you, right daddy?"

"Yeah, I-wait what?!"

"Come on, you didn't think our little sessions together were just for fun, did you?" She chuckled as he looked up at her in shock. "And here's something else, I'm not the only one expecting~"

"I….seriously?!"

"Yep~" She chuckled as he stared at her, conflicted. "You should celebrate, you're bringing in the first generation of a new world."

"Yeah, I know, it's just...so fast. I honestly expected this to happen WAY down the line."

"Well it didn't, and you should be lucky you're immortal, goddess pregnancies can get….violent."

"...oh god."

"Oh gods~"

(Timeskip)

Dave felt like he was ready to fall asleep given the long long list of suggestions Athena was telling him to try and help her.

"...and that should be it. So, what did you think?"

"Uh? Oh yeah, I agree, totally." He nodded.

"Really? So you have no qualms about anything?"

"Well you are a goddess of wisdom, so you probably don't need any tips from me. I mean you've been around longer than my family tree right?"

"Yes, I'm glad to hear, I will start construction on the surface immediately! Once the radiation is gone you will come up to a paradise!" She smiled before taking the list and left with Dave sighing in relief.

'Finally, some peace and quiet…' He thought before plopping his head down. 'Time for a nap.'

BANG

"Daddy, daddy!"

"Ugh, what is it?!" He groaned as he looked up to see a gaggle of kids rush towards him. "Oh, hey kids, what's up?"

"We wanna play!" Laughed one girl who's lower half was that of a scorpion.

"How about the quiet game?"

"Booo, we played that last time."

"Yeah, we wanna do something fun!"

"Hmmm…. How about…. A movie?" he suggested as they gasped.

"Really? But mommy said those weren't good enough for us!"

"Well, I won't tell if you don't, ok?"

"Movie movie movie movie!" They chanted as he smiled and made his way over to a bookshelf.

"Ok, how about… Finding Nemo?" He suggested as they cheered. "Alright, Finding Nemo it is, just try not to eat the TV when you see the fishes, they aren't real."

"Aw, that only happened once daddy!" Pouted one boy who had reptilian eyes and scales on his arms and legs. "It's not my fault they looked tasty."

"Well just try not to do it this time, ok?" He said as he put the movie in as the kids began to scramble onto his bed. All of them got comfy while he moved over and sat down behind them. 'Alright, you know what, this isn't too bad.'

"Oh! I almost forgot daddy. Uncy Zeus said he wanted to talk to you."

"Huh? About what?"

"I dunno, but he said that you had to go find him after I told you."

"Alright, I'll be right back, so no fighting." He said as the kids nodded. 'I think I'm starting to figure out this fatherhood thing.'

With that he left the room and went off to where he knew Zeus stayed while other gods and goddesses were at work sprucing the place up with some even adding stuff, such as what looked like a bar or swimming pool. He sighed as he reached the spot Zeus was at, the hot tub with several minor goddesses at his side. "Hey Zeus, Maeve said you wanted to see me?"

"Yes Dave, I wanted to discuss with you the progress on repopulating the planet."

"Aren't I already doing that?"

"Yes, but what I mean is that I feel as though it's going rather...slower than imagined." He said as Dave looked at him in confusion.

"What do you mean, I've already had over a dozen kids."

"Yes, but do you know how many children one god could easily have in a single mortal's life? Far more than the legends told."

"Well I'm taking things slow, I mean I've never been a dad before and can only do so much." He said as he held up his hands. "Besides, I don't just want to pump out kids night and day just to increase how many kids I have, I want to take it slow, get to know them, and give their mothers a break before they have another kid."

"Dave, you have to truly understand that being immortal is far different than being mortal. You have more time on your hands than you had, which means you don't need to worry about that."

Dave looked at him in silence and frowned. "Oh really now? So you mean to say, that THE Zeus, the guy who can make it drizzle, is gonna lecture me on how I be a father?"

"Hey, I am the king of the g-"

"Yes, the king of the Greek gods, but remember I'm not just raising my kids, I'm also worshiping every god and trying to teach that to my kids at the same time. Also how exactly do you expect me to populate the planet with just me and my kids, because I am not going to have them get together!" Snapped Dave making Zeus and the goddesses look at him in surprise. "Considering your track record of how you treat your own family, kids, or just anyone in general, you're not someone I'd hear tips from. I'm gonna raise my kids MY way, and since we have all the time in the world, you're gonna wait like everyone else."

"I-Wha-but you?!" He started in indignation.

"Also does Hera know you're cheating on her again?"

"W-That's not important right now!"

"Yes it is! You don't get to lecture me about fatherhood while you're cheating on your wife!" He frowned. "If you've waited this long up to humanity's destruction, then you can wait longer as I raise my kids my way, at my pace, WITHOUT anyone messing with them. In fact, I'd say it's time I work out something to make sure this newer generation has a smoother future."

"What the hell are you talking about?! Don't get arrogant boy, you may be immortal but I am still a god!"

"Oh I know, and that's why." He remarked before turning and walked off with a determined expression. 'Time to talk things over with Odin.'

"Don't you turn your back on me! It would be easier if you were around to help repopulate and worship us, but with your kids we would find a way to manage without you!" Zeus yelled, summoning his lightning bolt.

Dave turned with wide eyes as Zeus looked like he was going to throw it, only for Shiva to step in between with a frown.

"Put the bolt down Zeus."

"After he apologizes, he may be living around the gods and have children with us, but he has to remember his place! He is not talking to equals when he addresses me, understand Dave?"

"Looks to me like his 'place' is being a dad." remarked the god with a shrug as he crossed his arms. "And I highly doubt his kids would enjoy hearing how 'Uncy Zeus' tried to fry him. I mean, you COULD try and intimidate them, but we all know here how that would really go down. Do I even need to point out your own old man?"

Zeus growled as he glared at Shiva and Dave before lowering his lightning. "Fine, but heed this Dave, this is your last warning, cross me again and you'd have wished I'd smite you here today." he declared before disappearing with a loud crack.

"Dramatic~" Remarked Shiva while Dave sighed in relief. "Don't have a heart attack on us, otherwise your kids would be sad." He joked.

"Y-Yeah, right…"

"And for the record I agree with you, you'll repopulate the earth in time, and we'll come up with a solution for you and your kids so there isn't incest." Shiva chuckled before turning serious. "But be careful, Zeus was just an example of what can happen. I know you've been around us and gotten used to us, but you need to remember we are gods, we aren't perfect, but we are powerful, more than a few of us have egos that match that power, and you're just an immortal human."

"I know, I know, it's just...when he started lecturing me on how to be a dad just pushed me the wrong way."

"I don't blame you. If he went and told me how to be a father, I'd tell him to go fuck a duck if he likes animals so much." Shiva chuckled. "Just try to be more careful, he may be a dick, but he is the king of a pantheon, and while he may have dumb opinions he can enforce them, just remember what happened to Prometheus."

"That's why I'm gonna be thinking about the future, and have something set up so it doesn't go to Hell this time."

"That's good, and do that, just make sure you don't get yourself sent to hell before those plans can come to fruition." Shiva chuckled.

Dave smiled and walked off.

(Later)

"Demeter, can't you-"

"For the last time Bacchus, no! We have enough grapes!"

"But, but, we could have MORE!"

"Bacchus, no! If you want more grapes then get to work on fixing the world, once it's not irradiated you can recreate some nature spirits to help you cultivate a whole continent of grapes if you want!" She snapped angrily. "Now leave me be so I can get to work on bringing corn back."

"Ugh, fine, I'll start working on the northern hemisphere." He grumbled as began to leave. That's when the intercom speaker turned on, making everyone perk up.

"Attention everyone, attention. Can all gods and goddesses come to the main hall? I have a big announcement to make." Called Hermes as they perked up.

"I wonder what's going on?"

"Maybe one of the goddesses are pregnant again?"

"Something tells me it isn't that." Demeter said as they reached the main hall, packed side to side with gods and goddesses, with a few flying or standing atop others to get a better view. Up front was Hermes with Dave beside him.

"Alright gals and guys, try not to push and shove." Spoke Hermes into a microphone. "We're all here because Dave here has something big he wants to talk to us all about, and it's a doozy."

"Did he get one of the goddesses pregnant?"

"Is HE pregnant?"

"No, and not sure on that one." he turned to Dave. "Are you?"

"Wha-no! No one is pregnant! Why would I be pregnant?!" he shouted as the gods looked at him awkwardly as some shot glances over to Zeus.

"One time, you sew ONE fetus to your leg and suddenly you're the god who was pregnant."

"Look, the reason I had all of you show up was because I wanna make one thing clear. When it comes to history, usually half human and half gods have a pretty rough life, whether it's from humans or gods themselves, is that or is that not right?"

"He's not wrong, at least half die due to monsters, or angry spouses." One goddess muttered.

That made several all turn to Hera who noticed and frowned.

"Oh don't act like I'm the only one!"

"And so I called you all here because I wanna change that. I know I'm immortal, but when numbers start to go up, I won't be there to raise all of my kids and descendants. I want to make sure they don't go down the wrong path because they were tricked or manipulated."

"Why are you all looking at me?!" YelledLoki with a frown.

"We're not, but now we are!"

"Oh….well you're not wrong."

"Exactly. Which is why with Odin's help I've got this set up." He pulled out a huge scroll and set it down on a nearby table. "A binding contract, one that I would like everyone to sign."

"...No."

"Hell no, if there's any kind of contract that's binding me I want input!"

"Who gave Odin the right to make a contract for all the other pantheons, he's only a Norse god!"

This got the crowd calling out and close to rioting as Dave held up his hands.

"Everyone calm down! I can give you a short summary! It's only meant to help my descendants! It's a promise that no one who signs it will manipulate them!"

"Excuse me, Dave, can we talk quickly?" Athena hissed as she grabbed him and pulled him aside. "Are you an idiot?"

"What?"

"Are. You. An. Idiot? You just told every god in existence that you want to bind them to a contract, good intentions or not that is a moronic idea!"

"I just want to make sure my kids and their kids aren't fucked over!" He frowned. "Is that a crime now? Is it suddenly a bad thing not to wanna see your own kid be manipulated into doing something that can never be changed?"

"No, and I agree, but you are forgetting one tiny detail, WE ARE GODS! We live forever, we are not perfect, and people get hurt, and if you don't want any of us, including the less chaotic gods to mess with them, intentional or not then you have to lower your expectations." She said as he started to argue. "Just listen. You are the last full blooded human at the moment. You said you don't want any of your kids OR your descendants to be tricked or hurt, right?"

"Yes, bu-"

"That means every living human, or half human, is your descendant, which means you want to bind the gods into never touching them…. That's impossible! What am I the goddess of?"

"Wisdom."

"Yes, and?" she said as she prodded him on only to groan when he didn't catch on. "War. I'm the goddess of war as well, and what happens in war?"

"People die."

"Yes, and what happens if one of your kids or descendants prays to me to give them strength in battle to fight the only other people in existence, your descendants? By the wording of the contract I am breaking it!"

"I…..ok, you make a good point." He admitted looking away before sighing. "I'm not trying to make things unfair, it's just...with being a father I'm just worried. I want whats best for my kids, and future grandkids, and I guess when I remembered some of the unfair and unjust stuff that happened in the legends, I got a bit overboard and paranoid."

"And that's not a bad thing, but you need to think long term, we're gods, we have to think like that, and if you want my opinion, scrap the contract, it's too rigid for any god to agree to, ask for a wish, or guidelines, or an agreement, and shorten 'descendents' down to at most two generations." She said as she shook her head. "The world is a cruel place, and some of us HAVE to mess with people, it's who we are, I mean Loki is the literal god of mischief."

"Yeah, he's one of the big ones I figured the contract could keep him in line."

"Dave, people have been trying to control the gods for millenia, and it ALWAYS backfires, have you actually read any of the mythology surrounding Loki? Every deal that seems stacked against him he's always, ALWAYS found a loophole."

"...I just want my family to be safe."

"And they will be… for the most part. Haven't you realized the biggest differences between your kids and those from mythology? They weren't born from a scandalous affair, there is no angry spouse after your head or theirs, and their godly parents sometimes visit them now and then."

"Huh, that is true." He said as he began to nod.

"Good, now get back up, there, apologize to everyone and ask nicely that they please try to leave your immediate family alone for awhile, or at least try not to kill them with anything they have planned." Athena said as the mob of deities kept shouting angrily.

"Right." he ran back on stage and tried to speak up. "Everyone listen!"

"I knew this wasn't a good idea!"

"I shall show the true might of Thor!"

"Let's burn it all down! All of it!"

"I'M SORRY!" He called, getting their attention. "Forget the contract, I would like to apologize for acting so hastily!"

All of them slowly went quiet, for now, as Dave took a deep breath.

"I was paranoid, which is putting it mildly. It's just...as a dad now, I don't want my kids to suffer, but that's stupid. Life itself isn't meant to be fair, or safe, and it's that reason it helped shape people who they were. I just felt with being a dad, the weight of the world was on my shoulders."

"Atlas would beg to differ!"

"But maybe a contract isn't needed. I mean if my family does grow out and make this planet home, they probably won't even know me, or think I existed. I just don't want my kids right now to go through too much trouble and live a pretty decent life, ironic as it may sound. So I apologize for coming across as too controlling to all of you. You all have your roles to play in this world, and I can't change that. All I ask is that for at least 2, maybe 3 generations, go easy on my family."

"Hmph, it seems like he's got his head in the right place, and it wouldn't be a good idea to screw over our only hope of repopulating the world." Muttered Ares.

"Two generations…. Yeah, I could go easy on them for a bit."

"That's much easier than asking for like 6 or even 10."

"Yeah, and it's not like I'd want to hurt my little girl Hel's baby, she'd kill me."

All of them muttered a bit longer before Dave cleared his throat.

"So…. we're all good then?" He asked as he scratched the back of his head. "Sorry about what I said before and… yeah."

"Very well, I think we can manage to make due with your conditions." Zeus said with a nod. "Just remember, we'll try our best, but once the population starts to boom it'll get harder and harder to tell who's your first generation kid from the thirtieth."

"Trust me, I don't expect you to." He said with a sigh. 'I just hope it helps just a bit though.'

(Timeskip)

We now find ourselves on the planet's surface, which actually looked much more lush and green than before with enormous trees rising up and various foliage near the ground. It looked like paradise, though there was the odd ruined building sticking out of the ground, a rusted out car full of weeds and so on that gave a hint of what had come before.

A little bit aways though showed an old city worn away, but looked like they had fires inside the various levels of them. It was a strange mix, with rope bridges connecting the skyscrapers and tall buildings to each other, and a few even had some wires connecting them. The only thing stranger than the buildings and their modifications was the people in them.

"Get back here you stupid pig!" Shouted a figure as they chased after a massive hog through the abandoned streets. "Damn it, how did you break out of the trap?!"

"Lead him over here!" Called a figure who had the head of a lion as she licked her lips as she held up a massive spear. "Here piggy piggy piggy!"

The hog let out a squeal of fear before going to the right.

"No! Get back here!" She roared as she took after the hog, dashing past a group of people working on a portable generator.

"Ok, I think I got it this time."

"You said that before, and the time before that, and the time before that, and-"

"I know! But this time I actually got the parts from my uncle Hephestus to actually fix this thing so it's not 70% rust, hell he practically offered to build me a nuclear power plant. He went on about how the worst thing of the extinction was the loss of technology." Said the guy with a grin as flicked a switch. All of them saw it sputter and let out some smoke before it started going steady with numerous lights around them turning on.

"Yes! Now we don't have to connect everything to the bunker to get electricity!"

"And now we don't need to rely on fire just to get hot water! Thank the gods, I need a nice hot shower."

"Well it's gonna take some time before the boilers are completely warmed up."

"Yeah, but it's a step forward, let's go tell dad!"

"Nuh-uh, I wanna tell him!"

"No me!" She shouted as they began to fight as we cut to the hog, being cornered in an alley.

It looked around and back at the entrance where the lion faced girl was drooling.

"It's been so long since I had some nice, juicy ham~" She chuckled eagerly as she began to slowly approach it. "I might eat you raw instead of cooking you, my belly is ACHING for you to slide inside~"

"O-Oink!" it cried out in fear as it looked around desperately.

"Now get in my BELLY!" She roared before lunging, only for the hog to duck, making her hit the wall face first as it scrambled off. "NO! DAMN IT!" She shouted as she took off after it.

"Arkia! Where are you?" Called a familiar voice as she stopped and groaned.

"Not now dad!" She picked up her spear. "I've got a juicy pig to catch!"

"Come on, your mother wants to talk to you, also be careful with hunting animals, apparently Zeus got mad and cursed someone and he refuses to tell us who it was and what they are now."

"Ugh! Are you kidding me? I was so close to carving out it's fat hide!" She groaned as she stomped on the ground in anger. "I wanted the pig! I wanted it, I wanted it, I wanted it!"

"Honey, take a deep breath, don't throw another tantrum, ok?" Called Dave as he came out of one of the nearby buildings. This time he was shown wearing the same clothes, albeit a little tattered with a small beard.

"But daaaaad!"

"No buts, and if you can't calm yourself do I have to arrange more anger management lessons with Demeter?"

"NO! She just makes me eat plain cereal all day!"

"Then take a deep breath, relax, and come with me."

"Ugh, FIIIINE. What does mom want anyway? Did you knock her up again?" She huffed as she walked over with a pout. "If you did, you should have told me, I could have found an even bigger pig for a celebration feast."

"No, I'm afraid it's that time of the month, it's time to worship her." He sighed as she let out a groan.

"UGH, does this mean we have to cover ourselves in ketchup and let her 'kill us'?"

"No, this time we're gonna worship her by...well…."

"No...no no no no! I am NOT going to act like a newborn kitten!"

"Look, I'm sorry, but she wants this and you know how important it is to make sure we worship her, ok?"

"No, no, no! Uh-uh, no way!" She shook her head and walked away from him. "You can if you want, but last time is the last! I still get teased by it."

"There's no need to feel embarrassed, you did that all the time when you were just born." He said as she let out a hiss.

"Yeah, when I was a newborn! Why can't you just knock her up so you can have a new brat suffer instead of me?!"

"Hey!" He raised his voice with a frown. "No matter how many siblings you have, all of you are important to me. None of you are brats, just young and have room to grow and become wiser."

"Oh yeah, and then we'll ALL have people worship us." She remarked sarcastically.

"Well, no, but… look, we don't have time for this, ok? Your mother is waiting for us back home, I got her to agree to do it in a more private place than last time, ok?"

"Oh gee, thanks, it's not like anyone will be able to guess what the great and mighty Sekhmet is doing!"

"You can either come with nicely, or I ask the others to lend a hand, and then you'll have a full crowd watching, your choice." He said as she let out a groan.

"Ughhhh… fine, but it'll cost you!"

"Good." He smiled before they started walking down a path, numerous large shrines and paths jutting off with large symbols around that were of different origin and meaning. "I knew you'd come around."

"Like I had a choice.' She muttered with a pout. "I want to sleep in the bed for a week AND get to use the hot shower."

"As long as your sisters don't hog them that is."

"Hey, it's your fault there's only one real bed in the whole world right now and one good shower!" She growled. "I am tired of hammocks, cots and bags stuffed with grass and hay!"

"Given how the others had to use those long before I was even a thought, this is pretty luxurious."

"Damn straight it is! And once we figure out how to make them you can bet your ass that we're going to make enough for everyone!"

Eventually they reached a stone statue of a cat with Bast herself laying on her stomach and napping beside it.

"Hey Bast, is she in there?" Dave asked as the cat goddess groaned.

"Yeah, yeah…. Once you're done come see me, I could use a cuddle buddy…" She mumbled with her eyes closed.

"Sure thing." He nodded before moving over to the statue with an opening below it, with them heading on inside.

"Let's get this over with…."


	35. Chapter 35

List of oneshots part 4

chapter 35

What if Jaune and Salem were related?

Series: RWBY

xxxxxxxxxxxx

The day had finally come, it was the epic showdown of good vs evil, light vs dark, huntsmen vs grimm, the day Ozpin and his allies led a final attack on Salem… and they were getting their asses kicked.

"AHHH!" cried Weiss, flying through the air before Ruby jumped up and caught her, both of them falling back with a groan of pain.

"You alright?" asked the leader with a wince.

"Y-Yea-look out!" She cried as the scythe wielder turned around and quickly blocked an attack from Neo.

Said girl gave a teasing wink before back flipping away as Ruby tried to hack at her, but with the injuries she had it was too slow.

"Fall back to the bullheads, fall back!" Ironwood ordered, seeing that the attack was a lost cause at this point. He shot a Beowolf back while trying to run with only one arm. As everyone tried to escape Salem watched on from her throne, having never had to get up since the attack started.

"This is just sad and typical." she shook her head with a frown. "All of your planning, all of your allies and what has it gotten you Ozpin? Failure, defeat, and soon, death."

"Not yet Salem!" Ozpin yelled out, using Oscar's body while knocking Cinder back with a frown. "One early death is enough for me miss Fall."

"Then I'll have to draw this one out slow and painful." She said darkly as she knocked him down as Salem sighed.

"Ozpin... how long do you plan to keep up this charade? You know you can never defeat me."

"As long as I breathe, I will not falter." He huffed as he got up from a quick strike from Cinder with the boy's body looking bathered up. "Besides...I have a secret weapon."

Salem smirked with her arms crossed. "Oh really now? You have a 'secret weapon'? Ozpin, it's not a secret when we both know about the maidens and artifacts."

"Oh I know, and it's neither of those, bring it in girls!"

"But Ozpin, it's dangerous." Spoke up Blake holding her ribs.

"We have no choice, just do it!"

The girls looked at each other before Yang sighed and got up.

"Alright, you asked for this Salem."

"Please, I've survived everything you lower beings have thrown at me." She said as a brown coffin was wheeled forward. "It won't land a single scratch on me."

"Oh I know, but it will render you harmless." Ozpin smirked cockily before throwing open the lid, revealing a tied up and scared Jaune Arc.

"Where am I, why am I in a coffin, I thought we were attack-Salem?! What is going on?!"

"Sorry Mr Arc, but this had to be done." Spoke Ironwood. "We couldn't risk you dying."

"So you tied me up and put me in a coffin?!"

Salem raised an eyebrow and laughed. "Oh? You're going to do what you've always done and throw yet another student of yours in combat while you hide?" She chuckled as she shook her head. "You even immobilized him, is this some attempt at a quick and painless death for him?"

"No, he's special, for you see he is your great great great great great great great great grandchild!" Declared Ozpin with Jaune and Salem going wide eyed.

'Wait, WHAT?! I'm related to her?!' He thought in fear and confusion as Salem froze, looking stoic as she looked him over.

'He's my...descendant?' She thought before turning to Ozpin with a glare. "What sort of game do you think this is? That's impossible and you know why!"

"I thought so too before I saw him, and after a few tests I was able to prove it thanks to Ironwood, he is your descendant." Spoke Ozpin with a serious look. "You are free to run your own test to be sure."

"I will." She said as she reached out for him. 'If he is my ancestor then he would have to have a sliver of magic in him, just a small fragment.'

Jaune gulped seeing the hands move over and touch his forehead, making him shiver at how cold they felt before the tips began to slow black. 'Oh god, what is she doing, is that some kind of semblance?!' He thought before she pulled her hands away with a stunned expression, again.

"It's there...you really are of my blood..." She said as everyone stopped fighting.

"I am?"

"Yes, you ar...oh I never thought this day would come!" She cried out, uncharacteristically happy, surprising everyone but Ozpin.

"Uh..." Jaune found himself yanked out of the coffin and held in a tight grip by the witch who, shockingly enough, began to bounce around the room with a smile.

"I HAVE GREAT GREAT GRAND BABIES!" She squealed in happiness with the others, minus Ozpin, were slack jawed and were speechless.

'This...this is the queen of all Grimm?' Thought Weiss. 'She's acting like a grandma.'

'She's acting like she just got a new puppy, is this the right person?' Wondered Yang.

'Wow! Ozpin was right.' thought Ruby.

'If my ribs weren't bruised, I might give a snarky remark, ow.' Thought Blake.

"This is wonderful, we have so much lost time to make up for!" She declared happily.

"Uh, we do?" Replied Jaune with confusion.

"Yes! Oh I have so much I want to ask you about! Are you hungry, do you want a snack?" She asked curiously. "If so I can make Tyrian grab something, or Mercury since he needs to get off his rear and do more around here."

"Still in the room." Muttered the young adult with a frown. "Are we still supposed to kill everyone or…."

"T-That's really not ne-"

"So, are you dating, any women I need to meet, or do you already have adorable babies for me to spoil?" Salem cut him off with a straight face.

"N-No!" He blushed red.

"Really? What a shame, but I can fix that. CINDER! EMERALD! Get over here right now!" she yelled out at a high volume making the others cover their eyes before both girls came running over and looked on guard, cautiously eyeing Ozpin and the rest of the huntsmen.

"So, which one of them catches your fancy?" Salem asked, making him drop his jaw in disbelief. "Cinder is a strong woman, but I've been told men sometimes like more exotic girls, and I think Emerald would fit that bill, right?"

"Are...Are you serious? They helped invade the school and KILLED PYRRHA!"

"So? They are still fully capable of having children." She remarked nonchalantly. "Besides, it's not like they're ugly. They keep themselves together quite nicely given the environment."

"That's not the point!"

"Oh? So they are not good enough for you?" She asked curiously before looking worried. "Wait, you DO like girls, right?"

"What? Yes, of course I like girls!" He groaned. "That's not the point though!"

"Hmmm, then I might have to send out my Grimm in search of a girl that catches your fancy." She said as she rubbed her chin. "In the meantime don't be afraid to get to know them, they have wonderful personalities, and if they don't suit your fancy I think Cinder picked up a new pawn, Neo, was it?"

"Yes mistress." nodded Cinder with Neo herself tilting her head.

"Cinder... what is happening?" Emerald whispered in confusion.

"I have no idea, but the fact mistress is so chipper has me scared." Responded the fall maiden as she looked at her boss warily. "Just play along for now."

"Ok, hold on, HOLD ON! What is happening, are we still fighting?!" Tyrian shouted out in confusion.

"Quiet Tyrian." spoke Salem in a cold tone, making him tense up and quickly bow his head.

"Apologies my goddess!" He said quickly as Watts looked at him before clearing his throat.

"I never thought I'd say this my queen, but he is right, that man may be your descendent but we are still being attacked, do we dispose of everyone else?"

"No!" Jaune shouted quickly. "Don't touch them!"

"Ozpin, we need to pull out." Ironwood whispered.

"I know, I'm afraid we will have to leave Mr. Arc, if I'm right he'll keep Salem occupied for the rest of his life." He whispered back.

"Please, leave them alone." Spoke up Jaune with Salem frowning.

"Why should I? They'll just try and come back again, pointless as it is, even I've grown tired of this constant game, so it only makes sense to snuff them out now and get it over with."

"B-But… they're my friends, I can't just let you kill them!" he protested as she sighed and shook her head. 'She's not listening, what do I do?!' He thought as the horde of grimm began to approach team RWBY and his team. 'Think…. Ok, she thinks I'm her grandson or something, maybe I can use that?'

"Bring it on uglies!" Yelled Nora holding her hammer at the ready.

"Kill them a-"

"Stop! If you kill them I-I… I'll kill myself!" Jaune shouted, making Salem freeze.

"What?! You can't do that!" She shouted, starting to grow frantic. "I just got you back, you can't just die!"

"I will if you kill them!"

"B-But…. Fine, just capture them, except Ozpin and Ironwood, get rid of them."

"Gladly my queen." Spoke Watts shooting at Ironwood while Tyrian laughed as he ran at Yang.

"I'll be sure to bring you to the dungeons, without BOTH arms!"

"Tyrian, don't hurt them, they might be useful in the future." Salem said as the gears in her head began to turn. 'Maybe… if my great great grandson doesn't want to have children with Cinder that's a shame, but they could also be impregnated…. More grandbabies!'

"This won't end well." Muttered Ren as the screen went completely white, only to then show all of them chained up in several dark dungeon cells without weapons. "I knew it."

"At least we're alive, right?" Nora said nervously, trying to find a bright side. "I mean we didn't win, but we didn't lose either."

"Nora, we are in a dungeon, and Jaune is currently being held by a crazy immortal witch who thinks he's her grandson." Weiss said with a frown. "The only thing that could make this worse is if we were being ready for our execution."

"Considering who they are, I'm guessing they'd work on it and be ready come tomorrow if we're lucky."

"Yeah, I just hope Jaune is ok." Ruby said, with her having to wear a metal mask with no eye holes. "Who knows what sort of horrible stuff Salem's making him do."

(With Jaune)

"Come on, eat up, eat up." Salem said with a smile as she looked at Jaune, who was seated in front of a massive table piled with food, with Cinder, Emerald and Neo sitting next to him. "A growing young man needs all his nutrients."

"U-um…. Ok." He said as he slowly began to eat, feeling uneasy about everything. Not to mention glancing at the three girls with two of them looking ready to jump at him and cut his head right off. Meanwhile Neo was happily eating a large bowl of ice cream, without a care in the world.

"So, tell me everything, how have you been, how are your parents, do you have any siblings?"

Jaune gulped down his bite and saw Salem smiling while looking eager, making him steel himself. "Uh, you mean before or after I wound up fighting against your lackeys?"

"Watch it Arc." Spoke Emerald with a glare.

"Cinder. I know your minion didn't just glare at my grandson, right?" Salem asked coldly.

"No mistress." Cinder glared at Emerald making the girl quickly shut up.

"That's what I thought. Go ahead and tell grandma what you were saying."

"Um….well, I was training to be a huntsman before my school was attacked, my mom and dad are good and…" He started before quickly realizing that if he told her about his siblings she'd possibly kidnap them and bring them there. "...I don't have any siblings, just an only child."

"Hmmm, a pity." Salem sighed sadly before perking up. "However, that does remind me, what do you think of these three wonderful women?"

"They're a pain in the butt." He muttered with them frowning, with Salem pouting. "All of them played a part in all the stuff that's been going on, especially her." He glared at Cinder.

"Well, that's all in the past, they didn't know any better about who you were, now you can all apologize and we can move on with our lives and start doing something productive."

"Like what?"

"Rebuilding my family tree of course, I would love to have some new grandbabies running around the tower." She sighed happily, making all four people at the table pale. "All this time I thought my blood line had been nonexistent, not since….Ozpin went against me and ruined it all." She sighed as she looked down in shame before perking up again. "But now that will all change! You're here, you have these three lovely ladies who would be happy to marry you and make me some new grandbabies, right Cinder?"

"M-Marry?" She said, trying to cope with what was happening. 'Decades spent training, plotting, scheming, all undone by this blonde idiot being related to Salem…'

"She's a very nice young woman, and she has incredible birthing hips, right Cinder?"

Cinder just looked at her in disbelief with a blush while muttering something that neither could hear.

"I'm sure when you two get married you will give me some wonderful grandbabies." She said before glancing at Emerald. "Or if you are into more exotic girls I'm sure young Emerald here would fit the build, and I have to admit I am curious to see what your children would look like."

"Uh, I don't think they'd really look all that good." Emerald remarked.

"Well there's only one way to find out. And then there's Neo, I'm sure she'd be happy to marry you and live a life of luxury here in the tower with you, right dear?"

Neo blinked before looking up in thought before giving a shrug.

"Of course, if you somehow don't find these three amazing women up to par, we have backup options in the dungeon." Salem said with a frown. "I'm sure those girls Ozpin got tangled up in all this are quite close if you were so firm in having them live."

"Well, yeah, bu-"

"Then you wouldn't be opposed to making some grandchildren for me with them, right?"

"Just hold up!" He spoke up. "They're my friends, and sure I've known them for a while, but I doubt they'd wanna do THAT with me!"

"Then they don't have a use." She frowned. "I will say this, I want grandchildren by the end of the year, and come hell or high water I will have some one way or another."

"Ever considered just adopting some orphans?"

"I want a family, orphans are for minions, that is how I got Cinder here." She remarked with said woman silent. "Besides, grandchildren by blood feel true and honest."

"I….but…." Jaune started, trying to find some excuse.

"Now then, I'll leave you with the girls here, I have an errand to run in the dungeon." She said as she got up. "You three don't cause any issues while I'm gone."

"Yes my queen." Cinder and Emerald said with a small bow as Jaune gulped nervously.

'Please don't leave me here with them!' He thought before watching Salem make her way out of the room. "So….uh…"

"If you ask me to have sex with you I will stab you." Emerald whispered.

"No no no! I wasn't!" He blushed, shaking his head before looking away. "That's the last thing I'd ever want."

"So we're not good enough for you?" Cinder asked with a frown.

"After all the pain and destruction you've done? No, not at all." He remarked sarcastically with a glare. "Or has turning one of my closest friends into nothing but ash slip your mind already?"

"That was business, plain and simple, it was her fault for taking what was rightfully mine." Cinder barked back with a frown.

"Is that what you say for every person you hurt? I'll bet you say that after every person you kill just so you can sleep at night."

"Yes, I do, and most likely I will have to be saying after we're forcibly married and I have to have you impregnate me." She growled with disgust. "If you weren't related to mistress Salem you wouldn't even be breathing right now."

"Well she's not, and I'm ready to avenge Pyrrha right here and now." he frowned standing up.

Cinder frowned as she glared at him as we cut to Salem entering the dungeon, making her way to her new prisoners.

"Hmmm, now which one could work?" She pondered rubbing her chin. "I do have to say I do have a preference for blondes, and I would love grandchildren with the same hair I used to have." She mused as she made her way down the corridor.

"Hello Salem, come to torture me?" Ozpin called from one of the cells before she walked past him.

"No, I'm saving that for later." She said dismissively. "Right now I'm…. let's just say I'm window shopping."

He watched her while Salem stopped at Yang's cell and looked at the girl who glared.

"What do you want?" She growled. "Come to mock us, describe how we're going to die here painfully?"

"No, just getting a close up look. You seem to have natural beauty, which is already a plus. Mortals today seem more likely to rely on make up just to stand out, and that's already a negative trait in my book." She said as she rubbed her chin. "I think you could successfully give me many grandchildren, you certainly have the hips for it."

"What?!" Yang went wide eyed while trying to yank on the chains. "Forget it! I'm not gonna pop out kids just 'cause you said so you nutbag!"

"I think you will, why else would I be keeping you alive?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"If you are keeping everyone here except me in hopes they will give you grandkids you certainly have started off on the wrong foot." Ren said as he shook his head.

"Why is that?" Salem raised an eyebrow. "Are you going to go off on some monologue about how they're all YOUR women? I've dealt with men like that in the past, and it gets boring after the seventh time."

"No, what I mean is that if you want grandchildren who love you then you are doing it wrong, if by some crazy means Jaune and the girls agree to have kids do you think the children will love you when you keep their mother and friends locked up in a dungeon?" Ren said as Salem paused. 'I know this isn't helping Nora, but if there is a chance I can get you out of this dungeon I'll take it.'

"Hmmm, well I'm a bit rusty, but a little bit of 'convincing' would make these girls agree to keep quiet." Smirked Salem darkly.

"And what about the grandchildren and Jaune, what happens when they ask him where their mothers are and he tells them you locked them away in a cold dungeon? And if you want Jaune to love you a good step would be to get us out of this dungeon." He said, trying to convince her. "You have this whole tower to yourself, surely there's some more comfortable rooms you could put locks on, right?"

"Perhaps, but I think you'll be fine in the dungeons for now." She turned to look at Blake who narrowed her eyes. "Now a Faunus could be interesting. I've never given it thought on what that could lead to, but with Jaune's blood, you two could make quite the child." She said as she stroked her chin and smiled. "It would be wonderful to have a cluster of grandchildren with cat ears running around the tower."

"Never." spat Blake. "Don't know if you knew this, but I'm spoken for already."

"Yes, you have been taken, taken prisoner, were the chains not enough of an indicator?"

"She means she's not into dudes!" Yang yelled out in annoyance.

"So? Worse comes to worse I suppose I could have you artificially inseminated, but I would prefer it be done the old fashion way." Salem moved on to Weiss with the heiress glaring.

"Not even if you tortured me."

"You do realize this is the only reason you aren't being tortured right now?" Salem asked with a raised eyebrow. "Hmmm, I do like the white hair, I would like grandchildren who I currently had something in common with."

"Oh yes, because hair color would be plenty." Remarked Weiss sarcastically.

"It's a start." She said as she moved on and spotted Nora. "Orange hair, I haven't seen that in many, many years, hmmmm…"

"Go ahead and try it, you'll find out how quick I can BREAK your kneecaps!"

"Really now, I truly don't understand WHY you are all so against this, in my day women would throw themselves at men with royal blood to bear their child, or have you all forgotten the one reason I haven't thrown you to the grimm?"

"Having us get set up to have kids with one of our friends isn't something that's easy to deal with as you might think."

"Besides, as soon as you get what you want, you'll get rid of us."

"Perhaps, though that all depends, if you were to marry my grandson I would keep you around, and give you a proper room." She remarked before moving towards Ruby. "As for the Silver Eyes? I might pass on you, otherwise I'd have to worry about my descendants fighting me with them."

"And she's WAY too young to even think about that." muttered Yang.

"Seriously Yang? I'm not a kid anymore!" She protested.

"Anyway, I will be back later, consider your options, and if you are more willing to cooperate you will find yourself in better accommodations." Salem turned and made her way out while going over the pros of the girls from what she saw. 'They're not bad, though I would prefer Jaune marry one of my loyal servants, at least then I wouldn't have to worry about his wife turning him or my grand babies against me.'

(Timeskip)

"Jaune? Where are you?" Salem called as she held a large stack of puzzles and board games. "Are you free right now or are you finally giving me grandchildren?"

All she got was silence.

"Hmmm, it's quiet… too quiet." She said as she narrowed her eyes. "Oh he better not be down there again!" she put the items to the side before marching down the hall. "This is ridiculous, it's been six months and yet nothing, what is he doing down there?!"

She made her way down to the dungeons where the sounds of grunts was heard. 'Grunts? Is he…. Yes, finally! Oh I wonder who it is?! No, calm down Salem, you shouldn't interrupt…. But maybe just one peak?'

With that she slowed down her steps while keeping her ear out. She listened eagerly as she heard the grunts get louder and louder, but paused as she only heard one person grunting. 'Wait, what's that? That's not right.' She thought as she paused. 'What is going on?'

"Come on….almost there…."

'Ok, that sounds familiar, but…. Am I just paranoid?' She thought as she reached the corner and began to take a peak. She frowned when she saw Jaune, fully clothed, and trying to break one of the doors open with a crowbar.

"Almost there….it's coming undone…"

"JAUNE ARC!" Salem shouted, stepping out with a frown.

"Gah!' He jumped, dropping the blunt instrument as Salem walked over with a cold expression. "S-Salem! What a pleasant surp-"

"Don't you Salem me Mr, and how many times do I have to tell you to call me grandma?!"

"Oh, right, sorry grandma."

"Now then, do you care to explain to me just what you were doing down here?"

"I was just….um…"

"Testing out the door locks to make sure they weren't falling apart." Ren interjected.

"No, what it seems like is that you were trying to free your friends! Unless you were doing it to give me a grandchild, which you could have asked me to unlock the door for, this was an escape attempt!" Salem walked over before grabbing Jaune by the ear and started dragging him out. "I'll have to punish you again since you won't learn from your past mistakes."

"Ow ow ow ow ow!" he cried as she dragged him away, fuming.

"I know I shouldn't say this, but that never stops being funny." Chuckled Nora.

"Yeah, I know, but I'm just worried one day she'll stop 'punishing' him and turn her wrath on us." Blake said with a frown.

"I swear being cooped up here is really starting to get to me." Sighed Qrow. "Especially without a quick drink of booze."

"It could be worse, you could be torn to shreds by the Grimm." Ozpin said with a sigh. "Or dunked in one of the grimm lakes and be turned into Salem's new boyfriend."

"Maybe if you tried putting the moves on her she'd let us go and keep you instead."

"I doubt it." he said as we cut back to Jaune and Salem.

Said witch brought Jaune to the room he was staying in and pointed to a corner.

"Go and sit in your corner and think about what you've done."

"Fine, fine, whatever." he sighed as he went over the corner.

"Good, now stay there and think about what you did wrong. Then in an hour I'll send over Cinder so you two lovebirds can have some alone time."

"Grandma, I really don't think-"

"Ah ah, no talking while in the corner." She said as Jaune sighed.

'This is getting ridiculous, she's been like this for six months, when is she going to give me a chance to escape?' Thought Jaune as he propped his head with his hand. 'I figured she would have done something drastic sooner, but now it's just getting ridiculous.' He thought as he shook his head. 'Maybe it's better she's stuck in this dreamland of hers, or else she would have done something more severe than put me in a corner.'

Back with Salem, she had gone ahead to grab a bottle of her private wine to get some down her while Watts was trying to speak to her.

"So, if our calculations are right we should be able to overwhelm Vacuo with Grimm in a matter of months, what do you think my highness?"

"I think things are dragging on." She grumbled while filling up a glass before taking a long sip with a sigh.

"Well, I could try to destabilize the Vacuoan government, that should make the plan go a lot faster."

"Not with the plan you fool, I meant with Jaune."

"Jaune? Why, what's going on?"

"Nothing, and that's the problem!" She snapped. "Six months, six months and he has yet to knock up a SINGLE girl here! None of those friends of his in the dungeon, or Cinder and the other two. I would think a young man like him would be all for impregnating all of them given he has free reign, but instead he just wants to 'free' the others along with Ozpin."

"I see…. Might I ask how you tried to get him to…. Do it with the girls before?" Watts asked, feeling out of his depth.

"I tried giving him and Cinder alone time with some massage oil, figuring it could help get the ball rolling, and when I come back all I see is him using it to lotion up his hands while both are still clothed."

"I see… and all this time you've just been kindly asking him, right, or gently nudging him to what you want?" Watts asked, beginning to get an idea.

"I've made my wishes loud and clear. To have grandbabies by the end of the year, and it's already halfway there." She sighed as she shook her head. "These six months have been the best I've had in millennia, but I still want grandbabies!"

"Hmmm, maybe it's time to change tactics, perhaps get a bit more forceful…. What if you implement some incentive?"

"Incentive?"

"Yes, YOU want grandchildren, but what has Jaune shown to have wanted his entire stay here?"

"He keeps trying to visit with his friends in the dungeon and free them."

"Well, perhaps if you make a deal with him that can work out both ways, he'll be more compliant." He said as she stroked her chin. "Maybe make him an offer, everytime he produces a grandbaby with one of the women in the dungeon their level of comfort will increase and they'll be given more freedoms, for example if he has two grandchildren with the blonde one she'll be moved out of the dungeon and given better food, and so on." He said as she began to nod. "Of course it couldn't hurt to bend a few wills here and there, make the rest see what might become of them if they don't fall in line."

"Yes… you're right, I am the queen of the Grimmlands, I could conquer this world if I wanted too and it's time I made that clear." She said with a nod as Watts grinned.

'And now to get back at Cinder and her minions, they've been a pain in my side for far too long, time to throw them under the bus.' He thought as he cleared his throat. "Yes, and I would recommend you doing that with Cinder and the other two women as well, if I recall correctly they aren't imprisoned, have access to Jaune 24/7, and yet they haven't gotten pregnant either? They do know that is what you want, right?"

"Yes, which means they've been slacking." Frowned Salem while finishing her glass. "And I do NOT tolerate slackers."

"Agreed." He said with a smirk as he saw her begin to plot. 'Cinder, I think you just got promoted from our mistresses right hand woman to her grandson's baby momma.'

"Go and have Tyrian get them together while I go down to speak with his friends." She said as she stood up, a glint in her eyes. "It's time I made it clear what I expect from them while they live in my home."

"Right away my queen." He said as he hurried off, trying not to show his amusement.

"Now then, time to make my demands." Salem said as she stalked off to the dungeon.

In said dungeon, Oscar was in control and trying to help figure out a plan while Ironwood and Qrow were so bored they were playing twenty questions.

"Is it… wet?"

"Yes."

"Is it damp?"

"Yes."

"Is it the dungeon?"

"Yup." He said before the door was kicked open. "Is it Jaune or someone else?"

"My money's on Salem."

"It is I, Salem." The woman called as she entered the dungeon and looked around, frowning. "And my patience has run out."

"So has ours." spoke up Ruby with a frown. "You can't keep trying to make Jaune give you grandkids like this. He's our friend, not some...thing for you to use."

"I am not using my grandson! I simply want him to be happy and have a large family!" She snapped before composing herself. "Anywho, it has come to my attention you have all failed at a simple request I had, and now it is time to make that request a demand."

"Or what, you're going to take away Jaune's daily cookie and milk?" Qrow snickered.

"Watch it Qrow, or I might start plucking something other than your feathers." Salem said with a frown. "Actually, if you keep it up I might just make an example out of you, I certainly can't get any grandchildren out of you after all."

"Just tell us what you're up to now." spoke Ironwood with a glare.

"Simple, if everyone here isn't pregnant in six months you all will be punished, and by punished I mean anyone who can't give me a grandchild will be fed to the grimm." She said calmly as everyone paled. "However, I can also be generous, if you do get pregnant you will be moved out of the dungeon and you will receive a better room, better food, and if you continuously give me grandchildren you will earn more and more freedoms."

"That's insane!" Yelled Weiss. "If you're so desperate to make a bigger family, why don't you just go do it yourself?"

"I can't! You can thank Ozpin for that a few millennia ago. He decided he didn't want to risk me 'creating an army of evil', so he and a group snuck into my tower and….and….well, they made it so I can't have any more children." She revealed with a glare at Oscar, the rest of the group caught off guard with the farm boy holding up his hands.

"He's not in control right now! It's Oscar!" He clarified nervously.

"I don't care, I'd given up on having a family ages ago, but suddenly Jaune appeared, and he made the impossible possible! That's why I NEED him to have children, I will not risk my family dying out, not again!" Yelled Salem with the air suddenly going cold for all of them as she closed her eyes and opened them back up. "So, what will it be?"

"I, uh…" Blake said, unsure what to do.

"Just know that I didn't have to keep you all alive here, I have three woman in my employment who could give me grandchildren, you're only here because Jaune asked me to keep you alive, so do the wise thing, and make yourselves valuable." She said before turning to leave. "I'll give you an hour to think it over."

As the door closed behind her the girls looked at each other nervously, unsure what to do.

"Guys? Any ideas?"

"Is… is there any other option? We have to either agree with her demands or…. We die."

"I can't let Ren die, I can't!" Spoke up Nora shaking her head.

"We can't let uncle Qrow die either!" Ruby cried out.

"Damn it…. I guess it was only a matter of time, it's a wonder she waited six months at all." spoke Blake looking down at the floor. "I kept thinking it'd end with us going down in the middle of battle."

"I'm truly sorry it had to come to this." Oscar said, stiffening up as Ozpin took control. "It seems our luck was bound to run out sooner than later."

"So… that's it? This is how it ends?" Weiss said as we cut back to Watts who opened the door to Cinder's room with a smug grin.

"Oh Cinder, I come bearing important news from her majesty."

"This better be good." She growled as she looked up from a book, Emerald, and Neo lazily watching the news.

"Yes, she has told me that you are to meet in front of her, Emerald, and Neo as well, she is quite disappointed with the progress of your most recent mission." he shook his head with a sad expression. "The one involving her dear beloved grandson, and not having grandbabies to spoil."

"Wait, what?!" She said as she sat up, Emerald and Neo freezing.

"Yes, she is quite upset that in the six months you've been not a single one of you are pregnant." He shook his head with his hands behind his back. "Honestly I fail to see how you can't follow a simple order from her majesty, especially given your 'supposed' loyalty to her for so many years."

"What?! You can not be blaming this on me!"

"I'm not. Our Queen is." He said with a smirk. "She wants to meet you in the throne room immediately."

Emerald and Neo felt a cold chill go down their spines with Cinder glaring at Watts with her one good eye glowing in warning.

"I'd hurry, and do try not to make yourself look like a fool." He turned and walked out while giving a triumph laugh in his head.

(Later)

"Um, Grandma? What is this about?" Jaune asked as he walked into the throne room. He looked around in confusion before blinking in surprise as he saw Cinder, Emerald and Neo on one side of the room and the girls from the dungeon on the other.

"It's quite simple Jaune, they're here because my patience has come to an end." Salem said with a frown from her throne. "Six months. Six months I have waited patiently, but enough is enough."

'Oh no.' "Wait, I thought you said-"

"I've changed my mind!" She snapped. "I am tired of waiting Jaune, I am TIRED! You had six months, six months to impregnate at least someone! All I want is grandbabies and for you to have a large, happy family, is that too much to ask?"

"...a little." He said as he rubbed the back of his head. "Couldn't we find some other solution?"

"I do have one, get these women pregnant." She said as she crossed her arms.

"Come on, isn't there anything else? I don't want to force them into something like that!"

"Well I didn't wanna be forced into losing my chance at having more kids of my own, guess how that turned out." She said as she crossed her arms. "If you want to blame anyone for this situation, blame Ozpin, if he hadn't meddled in things that weren't his business you wouldn't be forced into this situation. Now then, there will be changes. For one thing until I am confident you have impregnated everyone here, they will all be sleeping in your room."

"I….but…..NO!" He said as he shook his head. "Look, this is insane! I just learned I was related to you a bit ago, and I'm just barely starting to get used to that, but now you want me to suddenly become a father?! No!"

"Jaune dear, being a father, especially for someone your age is a big life lesson that I know you could handle without any problems." Salem said as he shook his head.

"No, you're wrong, being a dad isn't that easy! And if I have kids I want to be in a good relationship with someone before I get to that point!" He frowned. "Being pressured into doing it is just gonna make things awkward and stressful!"

"Bu-"

"And you keep talking about wanting a bigger family, wouldn't you rather it happens more naturally, with me being happily married to someone I love rather than just pumping out babies?" he asked. "How is it a happy family if the ones involved are used as nothing more than cattle?"

"I….well…" Salem, said, pausing as she considered the idea.

"Besides, if I do marry someone for love and not for what seems like purely breeding like you want, they would become part of your family, right?"

"Well, I suppose that IS true…." She said as the girls glanced at Jaune, starting to feel relieved. "So… you want to marry and be in love with someone before you give me grandchildren?"

"Well, yeah." He said as the gears began to turn in her head as she grinned. "That's what I'd prefer at least, and I think everyone else here would too."

"I see… then I have a new idea."

'Wait, did Jaune just get us out of this?' wondered team RWBY.

'Did the blonde idiot get me out of marrying him?'

"I suggest we go about this in a new way Jaune, girls." Salem said as she began to grin. "I'll give you…. Five minutes, and then there will be somewhat of a game of hide and seek. If I spot you in the tower and Jaune is nearby I will have the grimm hunt you down and drag you to the chapel for a nice wedding."

"Wedding?!"

"Yes, you said you didn't want to make me grandchildren with someone you didn't love and wasn't married too, so I think this is a nice middleground." She said with a nod. "Besides, it's been eons since I've attended a wedding."

'She missed the whole point!' Everyone thought with a groan.

"And… I'll give you two years after you're married to have a child, is that better?" Salem asked with a smile. "Oh, and no one can leave the tower, including you Cinder."

"How does that make anything better?!"

"Well I do believe this way you will have more time to fall in love, and once you're married having kids is a sensible next step, right?" She said with a raised eyebrow. "I'll get the hourglass ready, remember, you have five minutes."

"Bu-"

"Or if you'd rather I could go with my original plan, or Tyrian's idea of dosing your food with aphrodisiacs."

That made them blush with Salem walking away.

"So….um….. I guess we better go hide?" Yang said as she looked at Jaune nervously.

"Every girl for themselves!" Nora called as she took off, the rest quickly following her lead.

'I hope they find some good places to hide.' Thought Jaune with a gulp. 'Things just got a whole lot crazy.'

(Timeskip)

"Jaune, are you in there?" Salem called with a smile as she knocked on a large door. "I was hoping I could see the kids today."

"Hang on a second." He called with a yawn as sat up on the bed. "Kids, grandmas here."

"Yay!"

"Oh thank god, we can finally get some sleep now.' Groaned the figure next to Jaune. "I thought I was gonna have to yank my hair out."

Salem smiled as the door opened and an avalanche of kids rushed out towards her.

"Grandma!" They cheered as she kneeled down to hug as many as she could.

"Hey sweeties, who wants to have a fun day with grandma?"

"We do!" They called as Jaune stumbled over to close the door.

"Remember kids, play nice." He called as he closed the door before turning back to his 'wives'.

"So, we're all alone… who wants to sleep?"

"Us." Groaned the other girls, all of them naked and looking exhausted.

"Thank god." he said with a sigh as he glanced up. "Salems gone now if you want to come out of the vents and sleep on a real bed."

The vent hatch shook before falling down, followed by Blake who sighed and stretched out her arms with a pop.

"Thank god, those vents are so stiff." She groaned. "Any chance Salem has given up on finding me yet?"

"Something tells me no. She was talking about having a crib set up with a scratching post installed." Jaune apologized as she groaned. "The extra bed is in the closet, you should be safe in case she comes back."

"Thanks, I think my back is out of place." She groaned as she staggered away.

'Well, this isn't too bad, I think I'm starting to get used to this.' Jaune thought as he turned back to his wives. "Ready to pass out for the next day?"

"Yes!"


End file.
